RIP Balisong

February 4, 2011 7:16 AM

The obituary says Andrew Charles Bullock, but we knew him as Balisong. Rest in peace, Balisong.

This morning we received the sudden news from his wife:

Hello, I am the wife of Andrew Bullock, better known to your community as Balisong. Andy had a sudden heart attack and died last Friday night, Jan 28th. He was 41 years old, and is survived by myself and his two children, ages 4 and 2. He was an active member of MetaFilter; he spent much of his daily free time reading and posting to your site.

A link to the obituary in the local paper: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/gazette/obituary.aspx?n=andrew-charles-bullock&pid=148295318

I don't know how many of you remember him, but you were all a large part of Andy's world. I would like to thank the Metafilter community for offering Andy so much information, conversation, and enjoyment through the years.

Julia

Please post remembrances here.

posted by mathowie to MetaFilter-Related at 7:16 AM (389 comments total)

Losing too many.

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posted by inturnaround at 7:17 AM on February 4, 2011

I didn't always agree with his opinions, but whenever I saw his username, I knew the comment above it would be worth reading, if only for a well-written perspective different from my own.

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posted by Jorus at 7:28 AM on February 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

Oh, no. His personality really showed in his contributions, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. We will miss him, but not nearly as much as his loved ones and family. Bless you, Julia, and please let your children know their daddy was loved by many, even by those who never had the chance to meet him in person.
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:30 AM on February 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

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posted by amro at 7:31 AM on February 4, 2011

That's a real shame. Julia, my deepest sympathies to you and your family.

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posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:32 AM on February 4, 2011

Aw, man. Like Jorus said, I didn't always agree with him, but appreciated his voice and point of view.

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posted by Shepherd at 7:34 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong always stood out to me as a person who could hold an unpopular/minority opinion but be a gentleman about representing it in the discussion. 41 is too damn young. My heart goes out to his family.
posted by nanojath at 7:35 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is sad to hear. I had been looking at some of his contributions recently, and he came across as a genuinely funny, insightful guy. At least one of his comments comes across as far more poignant in light of this sad news
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:35 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by SNWidget at 7:36 AM on February 4, 2011

Rest in peace, my friend.
posted by ColdChef at 7:36 AM on February 4, 2011

Someday you'll see me floating in the sunshine
My head sticking out from a low-lying cloud
You hear me call you, singing through the sunshine
Sweet and clear as can be,
Come to me...Here am I...Come to me...
If you try, you'll find me,
Where the sky meets the sea,
Here am I your special island
Come to me...Come to me...
Bali Ha'i...Bali Ha'i...Bali Ha'i

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posted by lobstah at 7:37 AM on February 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

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posted by ardgedee at 7:38 AM on February 4, 2011

whenever I saw his username, I knew the comment above it would be worth reading

Ditto.

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posted by LionIndex at 7:38 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

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posted by Reverend John at 7:38 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh this is just horrible. I always respected him for sticking to his guns in a grownup manner, even when his views were in the minority. My deepest condolences to his family.
posted by shiu mai baby at 7:38 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by mothershock at 7:40 AM on February 4, 2011

I strongly disagreed with some of his opinions, but on the whole, I'd rather have him here disagreeing with me than not here at all. I feel we will suffer for not having his thoughts expressed here. My thoughts are with you, Balisong, and your wife and children. Rest in peace.

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posted by grouse at 7:40 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

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posted by infini at 7:41 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by special-k at 7:42 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jjray at 7:44 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by gaspode at 7:45 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by middleclasstool at 7:46 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:46 AM on February 4, 2011

I didn't know him personally but I found that we crossed paths in a lot of threads by virtue of a number of common interests.

I really liked his writing and contributions, and I'm feeling more than a little bit like I've been punched in the gut.

My sincerest condolences to his friends and family, 41 is too young.

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posted by quin at 7:48 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by lysdexic at 7:49 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh, no...

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posted by rollbiz at 7:53 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong always stood out to me as a person who could hold an unpopular/minority opinion but be a gentleman about representing it in the discussion. 41 is too damn young. My heart goes out to his family.

Completely agree. He was a true gentleman and I always respected the thoughtful way he responded to people here.

May his memory be for a blessing, and may he rest in peace. My condolences to his family.
posted by zarq at 7:54 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by yerfatma at 7:54 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Miko at 7:55 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 7:55 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by nomisxid at 7:56 AM on February 4, 2011

One of the first great posts that I remember reading here, one of the ones that made me realize this was a community I needed to be a part of, was the one he posted about the knives he took his username from.

We didn't agree on much, but I always looked forward to his contributions here.
posted by rollbiz at 8:00 AM on February 4, 2011

41 is just way too young. So sorry.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:02 AM on February 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

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posted by Quietgal at 8:03 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by xingcat at 8:04 AM on February 4, 2011

Mrs. Bullock,

God bless and good luck. Make sure the kids know their father was an upstanding and outstanding man. I made a donation to the fund listed in the obituary.

AW
posted by AugustWest at 8:06 AM on February 4, 2011

Man, I'm 41 as well. Way too young. My condolences.
posted by jazon at 8:06 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Stynxno at 8:07 AM on February 4, 2011

So sad.

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posted by Sticherbeast at 8:08 AM on February 4, 2011

That's very sad.

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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:08 AM on February 4, 2011

I remember how passionate he was about his children. I'm so sorry. What a loss. I wish I were in the area to babysit or help in some way.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:10 AM on February 4, 2011

God damn.

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posted by chunking express at 8:12 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh man, this is sad. I'm really sorry to read this. I'll miss reading his comments.
posted by Forktine at 8:13 AM on February 4, 2011

Is there an easy way to see the things he's said that I've favorited? I can remember him as being entertaining, so I know I must have marked a few of his.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:16 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong was old school. Very sad to hear of his passing. Even more so because I'm 41 and have two small children too.
posted by fenriq at 8:17 AM on February 4, 2011

God damn it. One really shitty thing about getting older is the death announcements start coming in more and more frequently. I'll miss Balisong.
posted by HopperFan at 8:19 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:21 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Iridic at 8:22 AM on February 4, 2011

cjorgensen: "Is there an easy way to see the things he's said that I've favorited? I can remember him as being entertaining, so I know I must have marked a few of his."

Via the infodumpster:

None.

Comments he favorited of yours.
posted by zarq at 8:22 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by bitterpants at 8:22 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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Julia: thanks for letting us know about this while a million things must be on your mind. Even though we may have not known your husband in person or very well, we all value members of this community in a special way.

cjorgensen: "Is there an easy way to see the things he's said that I've favorited? I can remember him as being entertaining, so I know I must have marked a few of his."

Infodumpster can do this.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 8:23 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Nthing that 41 is way too young.

See you on the other side, brother.

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posted by lord_wolf at 8:23 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by three blind mice at 8:23 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Pronoiac at 8:24 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong was interesting.

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posted by interrobang at 8:25 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by galadriel at 8:26 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by dhammond at 8:27 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Dumsnill at 8:28 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by sonika at 8:29 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with his family.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:32 AM on February 4, 2011

Julia,

Thank you for sharing with us here - Balisong will be missed. I remember him as an active, enjoyable commenter here.

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posted by odinsdream at 8:33 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by ignignokt at 8:34 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jasper411 at 8:34 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by hermitosis at 8:36 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh my god. He drove me crazy over a few issues, but entirely unlike some other people who drive me crazy, he was never mean-spirited in our disagreements; he wanted to express his views, not score points, and I respected him for that a lot, since it's something I have trouble doing sometimes.

And 41 is way, way too young. I'm so very sorry to hear this. I will miss his voice here.

My heartfelt condolences to Mrs. Balinsong and your children.

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posted by rtha at 8:36 AM on February 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Damn. My deepest condolences to his family.

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posted by From Bklyn at 8:37 AM on February 4, 2011

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I'm so very sorry.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:38 AM on February 4, 2011

In 2007 I emailed Andrew to see if he could help me learn anything about a sword a friend and I had found in an attic. Andrew really went out of his way to help me. He recommended a forum he was a member of and helped me tailor the post I made to get the maximum number of answers. He even contacted an author who was a member of the forum and a expert on antique swords to get him to post an answer. The answers I received were very helpful in authenticating the sword and determining its value.

I exchanged a bunch of emails with Andrew and he was a really nice guy. 41 is way too young. I am so sorry. Julia if I can ever research something for you, please contact me at [e-mail]
posted by mlis at 8:39 AM on February 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

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posted by mlis at 8:40 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm very sorry to hear this. His comments here were always worth reading, and he was one of the contributors I'd really have liked to have met in person.

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posted by Harald74 at 8:40 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by Rock Steady at 8:40 AM on February 4, 2011

Julia, I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:40 AM on February 4, 2011

Julia, I mostly lurk here, but your husband's name is one that will be remembered.

RIP Balisong
posted by Grlnxtdr at 8:47 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Carpe diem.
posted by crunchland at 8:49 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:53 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Bangaioh at 8:54 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Salvor Hardin at 8:55 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by catlet at 8:59 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by gen at 9:03 AM on February 4, 2011

This year has been a goddamned kick in the teeth.

Balisong, you were one hell of a guy, and your memory will live on for a long time.
posted by boo_radley at 9:05 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by crush-onastick at 9:05 AM on February 4, 2011

Way way too young.

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posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:07 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by katillathehun at 9:08 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by inigo2 at 9:10 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 9:11 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by HandfulOfDust at 9:13 AM on February 4, 2011

How terribly sad. My best wishes to his family.
posted by Kattullus at 9:16 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by fiercecupcake at 9:17 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by porn in the woods at 9:18 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh my goodness. Such a shame. He will be missed. Condolences to his family and friends.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 9:22 AM on February 4, 2011

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This is so sad. I've always enjoyed his comments.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:23 AM on February 4, 2011

Condolences. He will be missed.
-Darryl
posted by The Deej at 9:24 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by The Toad at 9:27 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:29 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Stewriffic at 9:29 AM on February 4, 2011

I always figured we'd meetup, and it'd be awesome.

Maybe I'm wrong about the way the world works and we still will.
posted by Eideteker at 9:29 AM on February 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Julia, thanks so much for thinking of our community during such a difficult time. My thoughts are with you and yours, and my condolences for your loss.

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posted by Elsa at 9:29 AM on February 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

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posted by pemberkins at 9:31 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hug your kiddos tight.

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posted by shmurley at 9:31 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

What a loss. Julia, I am so sorry. Your husband was a thoughtful, entertaining contributor to this community. He must have been a good man. I wish you and your children the best at this terrible time, and for the future.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 9:35 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by k8lin at 9:37 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm sorry, Julia. Be strong. Live your very best life -- for yourself, your children, and for Andrew.
posted by heyho at 9:37 AM on February 4, 2011

Damn it all. 41? Terrible.

We all trundle on with the quotidian business of our various little lives, worrying about our pasts and our presents and our futures; and how easily that daily routine makes us forget that we may not even have a future. Then something like this reminds us.

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posted by Decani at 9:39 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by ambrosia at 9:40 AM on February 4, 2011

Julia, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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posted by box at 9:40 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Mitheral at 9:46 AM on February 4, 2011

Too young by half.

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posted by five fresh fish at 9:46 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by This Guy at 9:49 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by longdaysjourney at 9:51 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by immlass at 9:51 AM on February 4, 2011

I am so, so sorry. It's weird, we weren't 'internet buddies' or anything, but the other day I found myself thinking about him all of a sudden and wondering if he was still on Metafilter.
posted by jtron at 9:52 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jamaro at 9:52 AM on February 4, 2011

Very sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends.
posted by fixedgear at 9:52 AM on February 4, 2011

Julia, not knowing how familiar you might be with community customs here, I wanted to let you know what the periods are about. When someone leaves a period in a thread like this, it is as leaving a stone at someone's grave in the Jewish custom. A remembrance and a physical thought left with someone. It's a sign of respect and mourning. You can see how many of the people here feel the need to do something to mark his passing, and I hope that you know it means how well loved and liked he was by this community. My deepest condolences for your loss.

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posted by stoneweaver at 9:58 AM on February 4, 2011 [18 favorites]

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posted by supercrayon at 10:00 AM on February 4, 2011

My husband is about his age, and my son is 4. I can all too easily picture myself in Julia's shoes.

Note in the obit: "In lieu of flowers, send donations to ENT FCU, account 551314."

Ent Federal Credit Union
account 551314
P.O. Box 15819
Colorado Springs, CO 80935-5819
800-525-9623

I wish peace for his family.
posted by anastasiav at 10:01 AM on February 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

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posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:02 AM on February 4, 2011

Thanks for adding this information to profiles; I think this kind of remembrance is a nice thing to mark historically.
posted by odinsdream at 10:03 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by UbuRoivas at 10:04 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Salmonberry at 10:06 AM on February 4, 2011

So sorry.
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posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:07 AM on February 4, 2011

Deepest condolences to Julia and his family and friends. Thank you for letting us know.

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posted by readery at 10:08 AM on February 4, 2011

Way, way too young. My heart goes out to you and your children, Julia.

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posted by goo at 10:09 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by ottereroticist at 10:13 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by burnmp3s at 10:15 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by bru at 10:16 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss Julia (for our loss). Andrew will be missed. You are in my prayers.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:19 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by rainbaby at 10:20 AM on February 4, 2011

To Julia and family, my condolences. To all of us; *sob*. We've lost another one. *sniff*
posted by Lynsey at 10:24 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Very sad news. Balisong was one of the posters I think of when I remember first reading Metafilter.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:24 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 10:24 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Hardcore Poser at 10:25 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Lutoslawski at 10:25 AM on February 4, 2011

This is terrible to hear. He was a great contributor to the site and seemed like a good guy. So sorry for your loss.

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posted by eyeballkid at 10:30 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by roll truck roll at 10:31 AM on February 4, 2011

Aww, man. I liked him.

Though I did get him confused with Baby Balrog on occasion.

Best wishes to his family. I hope some local MeFites can check in on them.

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posted by klangklangston at 10:31 AM on February 4, 2011

good memories of balisong...this hurts, rest well Andrew and my condolences to Julia and the children.
posted by clavdivs at 10:32 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by epersonae at 10:32 AM on February 4, 2011

He was a good MeFite.

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posted by Faint of Butt at 10:39 AM on February 4, 2011

He seemed to like my occasional doggerel. At least, he favorited them. I don't know what to do to mark the genuine loss represented by his passing than to write a few rhymed couplets in his honor, and hope that he would have like them too.

A knife it has its cutting days
And so too Balisong
So we worsen our rebutting ways
Without our friend along
So we wish a sad goodbye
A last and mournful alas, so long
A knife can be a butterfly
And so too Balisong.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:47 AM on February 4, 2011 [29 favorites]

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posted by juv3nal at 10:47 AM on February 4, 2011

He was definitely one of the good guys here:

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posted by empath at 10:50 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh, no!

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posted by brundlefly at 10:52 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by spec80 at 10:56 AM on February 4, 2011

4 and 2? How terrible for them, and for his wife.
posted by rodgerd at 10:56 AM on February 4, 2011

2011 was supposed to be better, dammit.

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posted by fairytale of los angeles at 10:57 AM on February 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

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posted by Julnyes at 10:57 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Blasdelb at 11:00 AM on February 4, 2011

You know, I find the fact that she took the time to notify Matt, while she's going through what she's going through, says something about how special this community really is.

Julia, I wish peace to you and the children.

The rest of you here, please be well and know how much I appreciate you.
posted by jbickers at 11:02 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

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posted by killdevil at 11:03 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong was one of the good ones.
posted by Ardiril at 11:05 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by carsonb at 11:07 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by LobsterMitten at 11:14 AM on February 4, 2011

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Julia, thank you for sharing with us this sad news. I'm sorry we all meet under such tragic circumstances. But please know that you are always connected to an international community of people who respected and cared about Andrew very much. The place is always open and Balisong will forever be remembered here.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:19 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by verb at 11:23 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 11:29 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh, my.
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posted by steambadger at 11:34 AM on February 4, 2011

41? Bloody hell.
posted by pracowity at 11:35 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Rumple at 11:36 AM on February 4, 2011

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Julia, thank you so much for letting us know. Balisong is a name that I didn't notice often, but when I saw Andrew posting, it was always always thoughtful and patient.

I know that no human being is perfect, but as a community, we were so lucky to have your husband here with us. I liked to think that he raised our level of discourse.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
posted by bilabial at 11:38 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Splunge at 11:42 AM on February 4, 2011

Balisong was always interesting; I will miss him greatly.

RIP dear Balisong.
posted by caddis at 11:42 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by klausness at 11:42 AM on February 4, 2011

Ah man. To young. to young.

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posted by Sailormom at 11:42 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:44 AM on February 4, 2011

Very sorry to hear of your loss.
posted by theredpen at 11:49 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by bardophile at 11:49 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 11:51 AM on February 4, 2011

Oh how sad. Way too young.

Julia, my condolences to you & your family.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:55 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by nickmark at 11:58 AM on February 4, 2011

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posted by adamvasco at 12:00 PM on February 4, 2011

A knife can be a butterfly
And so too Balisong.

That's quiet lovely, AZ.

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posted by Bookhouse at 12:04 PM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by eunoia at 12:04 PM on February 4, 2011

I wasn't too familiar with his commenting style, but as I looked back at his posts I found myself saying, "Oh, that one! And that one, too; I remember reading that one, even though it was last year." Such a terrible loss for everyone who knew him -- and, clearly, for those who didn't know him as well.

Julia, as we said to Mrs. Bageena (another too-sudden loss), you're always welcome here. I hope you'll be able to find some comfort, not only in the resources shared within the posts but in the warmth of people who care for you and your family.
posted by Madamina at 12:06 PM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

So shocked and sorry to read this. Balisong was a wonderful member of this community, with a voice and point of view all his own. Most sincere condolences to his family, who I'm sure adored him.
posted by bearwife at 12:07 PM on February 4, 2011

One of the good ones.

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posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 12:12 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by painquale at 12:21 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:25 PM on February 4, 2011

41 and two young children. What a horrible thing.

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posted by evilcolonel at 12:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by everichon at 12:28 PM on February 4, 2011

Julia, best of wishes for you and your children in such a hard time. So very sorry to hear this news.
posted by torticat at 12:29 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by ceri richard at 12:29 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Craig at 12:32 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:40 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by item at 12:41 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Lemurrhea at 12:52 PM on February 4, 2011

God, I'm so sorry. Sometimes life throws things at us that just seem insurmountable. Thank you, Julia, for letting us know, and wishing you the very best.
posted by jokeefe at 12:52 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by spinifex23 at 12:54 PM on February 4, 2011

Thank you for taking the time, Julia. I am really sorry for this loss to you and the kids.

Take care.
posted by Danf at 12:56 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by fraula at 12:58 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by darkmatter at 1:00 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by cashman at 1:03 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Chichibio at 1:05 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by pearlybob at 1:10 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by TedW at 1:13 PM on February 4, 2011

Oh man, I'm really sorry to hear this news.



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posted by Elmore at 1:16 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by gomichild at 1:19 PM on February 4, 2011

The consolation of a sudden death is that the man did not suffer, and did not have to linger in a care facility supported by tubes and tanks. The family will not have to make heart-wrenching end of life decisions. Cold comfort, but some comfort.
posted by Cranberry at 1:22 PM on February 4, 2011

What a loss. I never really knew him, but always kind of thought of Balisong as a mefi fellow-traveler, because we (and not many others!) were into a lot of the same things.

My favorite comment of his is this one, a paean to the American every-day-carry pocketknife. It exemplifies the insightful, informative, and just plain proud manner which marked Balisong's participation on this site; it's a crying shame that we won't see its like again.

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posted by vorfeed at 1:24 PM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Too young, too young. My condolences to his wife and children.

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posted by dg at 1:26 PM on February 4, 2011

Julia, thank you for thinking of the community here. I'm very sorry for your loss.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:26 PM on February 4, 2011

So very sorry to hear of your (our) loss. Rest in peace, Balisong.

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posted by IndigoRain at 1:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by saturnine at 1:27 PM on February 4, 2011

I'm really sorry to hear about this. My best wishes for your family, Julia.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:31 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Rhaomi at 1:37 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by joe lisboa at 1:48 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by snsranch at 1:49 PM on February 4, 2011

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My sincere condolences to his family. I recognized the username right away. He made a real contribution to Mefi, sometimes by swimming against the tide and making us think about the positions we hold dear.
posted by desjardins at 1:51 PM on February 4, 2011

Oh, awful. His children are so young - much too little to lose their dad. My thoughts are with them and their mama.

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posted by thehmsbeagle at 1:58 PM on February 4, 2011

-ages 4 and 2-

geez, that makes the sad hang heavier.
Thanks for thinking of us Julie and best wishes for a tolerable way forward.
posted by peacay at 2:07 PM on February 4, 2011

..Julia
posted by peacay at 2:09 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by sveskemus at 2:13 PM on February 4, 2011

so sad for your loss, julia.

so sad for our loss, metafilter.

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posted by msconduct at 2:15 PM on February 4, 2011

I am so sorry to hear this. I liked Balisong very much.
posted by winna at 2:21 PM on February 4, 2011

wow this is so shocking. he was so young....my heart goes out to his young family
posted by supermedusa at 2:22 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by longsleeves at 2:22 PM on February 4, 2011

Oh, this is horrible. His wife and children have all my thoughts right now. Rest in peace Balisong.
posted by OmieWise at 2:37 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Artw at 2:42 PM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear this.

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posted by dog food sugar at 2:48 PM on February 4, 2011

Oh geeze. My condolences to you and your kids, Julia. I will miss Balisong's voice here.

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posted by ooga_booga at 2:50 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Hobgoblin at 2:58 PM on February 4, 2011

Aw crap, man. He always cracked me up. And he's my age. That sucks.

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posted by lumpenprole at 3:03 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by keli at 3:04 PM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry. And we shared the same birthday too.


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posted by Tesseractive at 3:05 PM on February 4, 2011

Oh crap. I hate this so hard.

[I sometimes wish that I could hope that the song My Blue Heaven is about the place the Mefites gather after life to comment on world affairs. This is one of those times.]
posted by pjern at 3:05 PM on February 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

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posted by Joe Beese at 3:09 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by penguin pie at 3:18 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by altopower at 3:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jmd82 at 3:33 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by TheophileEscargot at 3:38 PM on February 4, 2011

My condolences, Julia. Balisong was a memorable part of Metafilter. I will miss him. My thoughts are with you and your children.
posted by halonine at 3:56 PM on February 4, 2011

I never met balisong in person, but I read enough of his comments here to think he was a good man.
I'll miss his contributions.


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posted by lekvar at 3:57 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:58 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:00 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by greycap at 4:05 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by zoinks at 4:06 PM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear of this.

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posted by anniecat at 4:20 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Cyrano at 4:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by pinky at 4:32 PM on February 4, 2011

I am so sorry for your loss, Julia, and for your children's loss. 41 is far too young.
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posted by mosk at 4:37 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by liquorice at 4:38 PM on February 4, 2011

This is so sad. Goodbye, Balisong. We'll miss you.
posted by FishBike at 4:38 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jaruwaan at 4:38 PM on February 4, 2011

Rest in peace. May the family have the easiest transition.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:57 PM on February 4, 2011

That's a damn shame. I'm very sorry for your loss, Julia. Thank you for letting us all know.
posted by msalt at 5:05 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by foggy out there now at 5:09 PM on February 4, 2011

He always seemed like a good guy.

RIP.
posted by jonmc at 5:13 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by flibbertigibbet at 5:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Navelgazer at 5:34 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Meta Filter at 5:39 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by cooker girl at 5:39 PM on February 4, 2011

This is terrible news, and I am incredibly touched that Julia thought to let us know, when she is sure to be still very much in shock. I'm another one who didn't agree much with him, but he really seemed like a lovely guy, someone you'd really enjoy sitting down and arguing with, with no hard feelings after. From the tiny bit of his personality I saw here, he seemed like someone who'd be easy to like: intelligent, thoughtful and opinionated, but still a nice guy. I know he will be missed here, by people who (mostly) never even met him in person, so I am sure he will be fondly and long-remembered by those who knew him in person.

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posted by biscotti at 5:43 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by sgt.serenity at 5:49 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Kangaroo at 5:52 PM on February 4, 2011

Rest in peace Balisong.
posted by Daddy-O at 5:54 PM on February 4, 2011

That truly and totally sucks rocks. My condolences to his family.

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posted by patheral at 5:54 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by ltracey at 5:56 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by thinkpiece at 5:56 PM on February 4, 2011

So sorry Julia.

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posted by stagewhisper at 6:00 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by the_bone at 6:00 PM on February 4, 2011

He was a grouchy old crank in the absolute best sense of the word, and he will be missed.
posted by infinitywaltz at 6:11 PM on February 4, 2011

Balisong seemed nice. What a terrible shame. And those poor little kids, losing him just as they're old enough to miss him. Very sad.

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posted by Gator at 6:12 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jquinby at 6:13 PM on February 4, 2011

My deepest sympathy Julia.

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posted by terrapin at 6:19 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by divide_by_cucumber at 6:20 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by contrariwise at 6:31 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by initapplette at 6:35 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Windigo at 6:40 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by dobbs at 6:41 PM on February 4, 2011

Sad news. 一路走好。
posted by Abiezer at 6:59 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by limeonaire at 6:59 PM on February 4, 2011

Lo! some we loved, the loveliest and best
That Time and Fate of all their Vintage prest,
Have drunk their Cup a Round or two before,
And one by one crept silently to Rest.

-Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám


be well
posted by edgeways at 7:04 PM on February 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

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posted by mynameisluka at 7:05 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by ninazer0 at 7:10 PM on February 4, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear about Balisong. He was a fine contributor to this place; his words will be here for as long as here is here and that's a good thing. My deepest condolences, Julia.
posted by h00py at 7:18 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by leslies at 7:25 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by kid ichorous at 7:39 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by jalexei at 7:42 PM on February 4, 2011

I am deeply sorry for your loss.
posted by Errant at 7:44 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Crabby Appleton at 7:46 PM on February 4, 2011

wtf
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posted by Dano St at 7:50 PM on February 4, 2011

So sorry to hear this. I enjoyed Balisong's contributions. Julia, it was very thoughtful of you to let the community know.

Wishing you peace and comfort.
posted by amyms at 7:54 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by naoko at 8:15 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by artemisia at 8:22 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by TrialByMedia at 8:54 PM on February 4, 2011

Balisong signed up on 18th Nov 2004, along with me & the other very first $5 noobs, when signups opened again after a long freeze.

Right up until this thread last December, I always parsed his name as a "song from Bali", thinking gamelans & terraced rice paddies, Hindus & hippies, frangipani, hibiscus & incense, beaches and palm trees. Maybe throw in a bamboo flute, culturally incorrect or not, to complete the scene.

Over six years with that image in my mind, and it turned out that it's actually the name of a flick-knife, the kind that might be carried by a gangster or petty thief lout.

Not that this revelation changed my opinion of him; I never completely got the peaceful Balinese imagery out of my head. May he rest in exactly that kind of peace; it's a beautiful image.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:57 PM on February 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

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posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:57 PM on February 4, 2011

With more than a hundred thousand of us here now, I often wonder how newcomers make any sense of the noise and if anyone really associates a particular voice to a username anymore.

For me, one voice I very much recognized and enjoyed is now silent. I'm very sorry to hear it.

Peace.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 9:01 PM on February 4, 2011

Death is in the middle of life and nothing is truly certain.
How horrible for his family for him to die so young.
My sincere condolances.
posted by joost de vries at 9:09 PM on February 4, 2011

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Whenever I've had brushes with grave illness and the passing of those I love, I find that Freddie Mercury's late work gives me strength. He will be remembered.
posted by Existential Dread at 9:26 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 9:35 PM on February 4, 2011

Some time ago, Balisong made a comment that raised my hackles (I don't even remember what it was now). I clicked his profile and as soon as I saw his picture, my hackles went down. That smile reminded me that behind each comment here is an actual person.

Even now, when someone makes a comment that raises my grar level, I check their profile before responding. I always find a reason to let it go.

Rest in peace, Balisong, and thank you for the friendly smile.
posted by dogmom at 9:50 PM on February 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

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posted by CrystalDave at 10:11 PM on February 4, 2011

Those young kids - so heartbreaking. My thoughts are with Julia and kids.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:16 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by gompa at 10:21 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by cmyk at 10:45 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:09 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by hortense at 11:25 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by stray at 11:43 PM on February 4, 2011

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posted by dirigibleman at 12:13 AM on February 5, 2011

I'm so sorry to learn this. I really enjoyed his comments. 41 is too young.
posted by orthogonality at 12:22 AM on February 5, 2011

My grandfather died of a heart attack at 44; two uncles from the other side of the family in their fifties. I survived one.

It's so arbitrary. A blockage in one artery on one side of the heart is often survivable if you get care real soon; in the corresponding artery on the other side of the heart, no real chance. It comes down to where the cholesterol plaque formed; I was 90%+ blocked in one artery, only 20% in the artery on the other side.

Three years before my MI, I easily passed a stress test. My Dad got lucky when five blockages happened to be detected when he was in his thirties. If that hadn't been noticed, he's surely be dead now. His brothers seemed healthier: indeed, both were jogging when they died. I should exercise, but there's no way I'm going to take up jogging.

And what's more frustrating is that a heart attack is so sudden. So immediate, no time to say goodbye or put your affairs in order. Someone you love is there, then they're gone, just clipped out of the frame of your life in a instant, leaving a hole in your world.

Sometimes I'm so scared by that -- by the death, but even more by the suddenness --, that I can't sleep. Of course, lack of sleep causes inflammation, which increases the risk of... heart attack. It just happens. Sure, there are warning signs. Which are essentially indistinguishable from acid reflex or back pains. It's just arbitrary, it happens when it will.

Julia, I've been there. I was just luckier than Andrew was. So I can tell you this, I think: it is sudden, and arbitrary, and even if you have time to realize what's going on, you're pretty distracted by what's going on, by comprehending what's happening to you, by trying to deal with it.

I know it doesn't help much, and I hope I'm not being too forward, too personal.

But during a heart attack, whether you have time or strength or stamina left to say it -- or even if in extremis, you're no longer physically able to say it -- you are thinking of those you love, wishing you had the time to tell them that you'll miss them, wanting to hold them one last time, wishing to once again tell them what they mean to you. And to tell them that while this is really bad, that they'll get through it, and that a big part of the pain isn't just physical, but knowing you won't be able to be there in person for them, to help them get through it. And to tell them how much they've enriched your life in the too short time you've had.

I don't know if during his heart attack, Andrew had the chance to tell you and your kids this, but I can attest from personal experience that he was thinking it.
posted by orthogonality at 1:06 AM on February 5, 2011 [25 favorites]

Oh no, how sad. I'm so sorry, Julia.

RIP Balisong.

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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:44 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by Skygazer at 2:44 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by DreamerFi at 2:45 AM on February 5, 2011

oh no.
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posted by obloquy at 2:50 AM on February 5, 2011

Julia, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us all know. Please have some peace.

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posted by nevercalm at 2:57 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by Mister Bijou at 3:40 AM on February 5, 2011

Julia, you share your name with my daughter. I'm a year older than your late Andrew. I feel your loss in my bones. I'm so sorry this happened.

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posted by lilywing13 at 3:48 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by monster truck weekend at 3:51 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by arcticseal at 5:11 AM on February 5, 2011

My deepest condolences. It's a terrible shock.

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posted by Smart Dalek at 5:22 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by hydropsyche at 5:28 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by mosessis at 5:50 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by gudrun at 6:25 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by harriet vane at 6:54 AM on February 5, 2011

Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss, Julia. Please give an extra hug to the children from us; losing a parent at that age is so hard and I wish you and them all the love in the world.
posted by mediareport at 6:57 AM on February 5, 2011

Julia, I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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posted by apricot at 7:15 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by buzzman at 7:34 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by LN at 7:47 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by Ruki at 7:59 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by onalark at 8:30 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by EatTheWeak at 9:17 AM on February 5, 2011

I'm terribly sorry, Julia.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:39 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by hot soup girl at 9:41 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by hackwolf at 10:18 AM on February 5, 2011

A valuable contributor to our community. I will miss him. I'm very sorry for your loss, Julia.
posted by Kwine at 10:30 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by phaedon at 10:37 AM on February 5, 2011

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posted by dhruva at 10:49 AM on February 5, 2011

Oh that smile, and his comments, and his gentlemanly restraint in the face of adversity. I am saddened by his loss.

I lost my father suddenly to heart disease when he was 54. I was 19 and even then I had a hard time handling his death so my thoughts are with his family. Community support is comforting when sudden tragedies like this occur, and so like many others, Julia, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you know from this thread that there is a community of people here who cared deeply for him and welcome you here.
posted by miss-lapin at 10:57 AM on February 5, 2011

Julia, I know three things about your husband, all gleaned from his posts and comments here: he had an interesting, quirky mind; he knew a whole lot about knives; he loved you and your kids more than anything in the world, so much so that anytime he mentioned you or them, love and joy and pride radiated from the words.

I am so, so sorry. Please remember to take care of yourself.
posted by dogrose at 11:41 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

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A distinct and gentlemanly voice silenced all too soon.

Julia, thank you for sharing with us his passing. May you and the children be well, and find peace.

Should you need anything from us, let us know.

We will do what we can.

First Bill, then Andrew... 2011 WAS supposed to be kinder...

I guess we will have to be kinder to each other, still

Love and Light to all MeFites...
posted by PROD_TPSL at 11:41 AM on February 5, 2011

I'm so terribly sorry to hear this -- 41 is way too young. Even when we disagreed with each other, I'm another one who could always see from Andrew's comments how deeply he adored and cherished his family. Julia, my heart goes out to you and your children. Peace.
posted by scody at 12:32 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by LittleKnitting at 1:08 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by St. Sorryass at 2:34 PM on February 5, 2011

This is so sad. RIP Balisong - we'll miss you!

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posted by garnetgirl at 3:37 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by ericb at 3:40 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by kyrademon at 4:25 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by safetyfork at 4:43 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by mephron at 5:12 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by ghharr at 5:31 PM on February 5, 2011

RIP Balisong

I liked his style. He will be missed here.

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posted by Sk4n at 6:04 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by Iron Rat at 6:16 PM on February 5, 2011

"He is also survived by his parents.."

this is where I teared up. so, so sorry for everybody. he will be missed.

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posted by victors at 7:16 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by Wuggie Norple at 8:11 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by arnicae at 9:46 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by sarcasticah at 9:47 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by trip and a half at 10:00 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by disclaimer at 10:27 PM on February 5, 2011

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posted by heeeraldo at 10:51 PM on February 5, 2011

So very young.
posted by arse_hat at 11:22 PM on February 5, 2011

I am so, so sorry. I always was very interested in what he had to say. Too awful :(

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posted by tristeza at 11:40 PM on February 5, 2011

Yikes. I'm late to this, but always enjoyed Balisong's contributions even when I usually disagreed with him.

Hang in there Julia. I'm sorry for your loss, and ours.
posted by spitbull at 7:23 AM on February 6, 2011

Deepest sympathies, Julia.

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posted by Ahab at 8:43 AM on February 6, 2011

My condolences to his wife, kids, and family. What a tragedy.

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posted by defenestration at 12:08 PM on February 6, 2011

Strangely, I dreamed about this last night. I dreamed that I was sitting at a kitchen table talking to Julia (whom I've never met, of course) and that she said something like "Many people have longer lives, but I'm not sure they had better ones. He had so much joy."

Take it for what it's worth - I didn't know him well enough to know whether it's an accurate sort of statement, but the sentiment moved me and I hope he did have a life full of joy.
posted by Miko at 12:10 PM on February 6, 2011 [3 favorites]

Oh God, how sad, leaving such a young family.


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posted by essexjan at 12:11 PM on February 6, 2011

This is so shocking and tragic, his passing so young and leaving such small children. I am so sorry, Julia. I hope that his comments here will serve as a lifelong reminder for his children of how devoted he was to them, how passionate about their upbringing.
posted by palliser at 2:27 PM on February 6, 2011

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posted by LeeJay at 3:51 PM on February 6, 2011

I am really saddened to hear this. I'm neither a prolific commenter nor poster, but Balisong was one of the people I really looked forward to hearing from when I first came here (I'm an 18K-er) and ever since.

Julia, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and agreeing with everyone that he left far, far too soon.
posted by exlotuseater at 4:24 PM on February 6, 2011

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posted by Morrigan at 5:17 PM on February 6, 2011

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posted by byanyothername at 7:06 PM on February 6, 2011

I hate just leaving a dot, but everything I write sounds trite or otherwise wrong. I was, as a result, going to slink off and pretend I hadn't noticed, but I can't.

Balisong was a really good bloke. He made me laugh and he made me think. He made Metafilter a better place for being here, and I'm sure he made the outside world better too.

RIP
posted by GeckoDundee at 8:39 PM on February 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

My condolences to Julia as well -- I am so sorry to hear this news.
posted by y2karl at 9:59 PM on February 6, 2011

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posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 10:55 PM on February 6, 2011

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posted by josher71 at 6:22 AM on February 7, 2011

Yet another loss to the MeFi community.

ご冥福をお祈りします。
posted by armage at 7:02 AM on February 7, 2011

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posted by generalist at 7:36 AM on February 7, 2011

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posted by cass at 9:13 AM on February 7, 2011

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posted by redsnare at 10:10 AM on February 7, 2011

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank-you for taking the time to tell us, at what must be a terrible time for you.

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posted by alasdair at 1:35 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by bdave at 1:51 PM on February 7, 2011

Oh, man, Balisong was a big part of our community. I don't recall if he and I ever had a specific moment of communication but, like others have written here, his comments were frequently intelligent and he could drop a witty five word comment with the best of them.

So sorry for your family's loss, Julia. Sorry for our community's loss, too.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:54 PM on February 7, 2011

("frequently intelligent" wasn't what I meant to post - I managed to delete some words in the middle - I originally wrote "frequently outstanding and always intelligent")
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:57 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by 404 Not Found at 3:15 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by VelveteenBabbitt at 5:08 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by sandraregina at 6:19 PM on February 7, 2011

That's very sad news. Goodbye.
posted by anigbrowl at 6:41 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:41 PM on February 7, 2011

Dammit.

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posted by azpenguin at 9:45 PM on February 7, 2011

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posted by Richard Daly at 9:46 PM on February 7, 2011

Aww, dear Julia, what a tremendous shock to read this news! I'm so utterly sorry for the loss you and your two small children are facing.

I really enjoyed Balisong's presence on the blue. Hearing about his sudden and much too early death makes me cry.

His comments gave me a distinct impression of his character, that he was intelligent, thoughtful, fun, funny, direct, honest, passionate, dedicated, unpretentious, caring. I will miss him. Looking at the photograph on his profile page he does radiate joy. I'm sure you and his children were very much part of that joy.

It's my experience in losing loved ones that their presence does live on. There is an essay that has helped me profoundly over the years, I don't know what your beliefs are but perhaps this may offer you some comfort too. Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing To Do With God.

It's a powerful thought imagining that "he spent much of his daily free time reading and posting to [MetaFilter]", to know we were valued in his life and he in ours.

My loving thoughts to you, your children, his parents and his sister.
posted by nickyskye at 10:23 PM on February 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

PS I would like to send a donation to

Ent Federal Credit Union
account 551314
P.O. Box 15819
Colorado Springs, CO 80935-5819
800-525-9623

but do not know how to do that via PayPal. Perhaps somebody here can advise me?

Or I can snail mail a check with Ent Federal Credit Union account 551314 in the Pay To the Order Of line?
posted by nickyskye at 10:30 PM on February 7, 2011

Or I can snail mail a check with Ent Federal Credit Union account 551314 in the Pay To the Order Of line?

Yes, for paper checks you can write the account number on the "Pay to" line, but for clarity's sake it's best to also use the name associated with the account. Usually it's something like "Bullock Memorial Fund" or "Bullock Children's Educational Fund" but in this case, since it's not specified in the obituary, simpy putting "Bullock, Acct. 551314" in the "Pay to" line should be sufficient. You can also include a little note along with the check so the credit union knows what your intentions are.
posted by amyms at 11:24 AM on February 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hi Julia, I'm a local mefite in Colorado Springs. I never met your husband, but I always enjoyed his comments -- the years when I was living out of state, his words and humor reminded me what a strange and wonderful little gunbarrel town we have. I am so sorry for your loss. Please do reach out if I can help, even a little.
posted by mochapickle at 11:32 AM on February 8, 2011

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posted by Halloween Jack at 11:38 AM on February 8, 2011

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posted by allkindsoftime at 11:03 PM on February 8, 2011

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posted by merelyglib at 11:53 PM on February 8, 2011

I since learned that some people don't always think a favorite 'means' something specifically, but, I know to me, this one Balisong shared with me meant a great deal, particularly when it first appeared. It was on one of my first comments ever here, and one which I imagined would not have been particularly 'well received' everywhere, likely not so well taken in all places, and easy enough to ignore. Not that this 'favorite' meant it was intended as "favorite", but however it was intended, that signal that someone had seen words I posted, and taken time to look at it, it encouraged, even pushed me to continue to share thoughts, even if I didn't actually always post them, and to do as was done for me the same, by reading what others write and wrote, and to engage with an eye to open-mindedness, and consideration of the differences and similarities we all have, attempts at understanding the elements -the times, places and spaces- that had shaped others, this all helped shape my feeling that this was a place I could find people who would challenge me, my assumptions, help me find ways of understanding the world around me, and where I might also learn from the experiences of others. A favorite may not inherently 'mean' something specific, but this one was indisputably important to me, and I will continue to value this small way I was able to be a part of the life of people who continually surprise me, and in particular Balisong, thank you for bringing me into your world in that small way, my thoughts are for your family. Sleep secure. The world is a less vibrant place for all of the losses this community has seen, I am sorry I never said thank you to you... the interactions you had have surely shaped people here, people who will go on, and hopefully continue to consider the ways you were, and so your words and ideas, like your children as they grow, will continue to shape this world. Thank you; thank you Julia, for sharing your husband with everyone here.

I am tremendously sorry at the loss of this (and every) member of the community, as noted by others, and shown in his own words, he was clearly a considerate, devoted and wonderful father and husband, a thoughtful person, he played a part in making me look closely at this community. I appreciate so very much how people share their minds here, often intimate details and the most personal elements of themselves with this community (it never ceases to amaze me how well people can do this, and often with a few short concise words, [I'm learning, I'm trying to shorten])... I am so sorry for the loss to the world; this community has lost so many in a short time, I do not mean to ignore others who have been lost either, for reasons external, I was sort of unable to find and put right words in sequence, a way to express how deep was the level of loss, to find the right space to express. We ([if as a new user I may use that signifier], and I did not know personally those lost, so I am sorry, and so very much do not at all intend to take from those who did know, from those who know the pain of loss so much more acutely than I possibly could) have lost so many people this year, it is overwhelming. But also the responses have been overwhelming to me. One cannot find a more developed and considering community, nor, I imagine, would one want to. As seemingly always here, it is stunning to me how events in a 'simple' online setting create, and enflame a desire to help, to be a part of other people as they struggle through the battles, victories and tragedies of life - from simple questions and answers, to the most important decisions, to understanding society, challenge and change - people here prepared to help others with all things, giving freely of possibly the only truly non-renewable resource in the universe... Time.

As ever, I find myself wishing I could simply give time from my own little hourglass, to allow one more day to those lost so soon, literally, too soon. I am sorry. People out there, please stay strong, don't give up hope, just don't give up. You matter. You do. I forget to say this enough. It doesn't mean it isn't true. Each and every person has a vital part to play in shaping the way our world works, operates and interacts, it is the gift of being human to use this super-power to show others new ways of thinking, to exchange ideas, give and take, to reshape the ideas of others - and to borrow the words and sentiment of others, allowing them to permeate and even reshape our own thinking - you really never know who is thinking about something you say or do. I am thankful to everyone who shares their thoughts, ideas, and unique way of perceiving and understanding their differing perspective on the world. We are all richer for it. Because it is important to note, and I have not often enough stated; it gets better. For together we will make it so.


What is it that made this world now seem so-suddenly-vast?
As you will see, hearts' flags still wave at half of their mast.
Lives have been stolen, we all share this sudden undeniable grief.
It just isn't fair, how can we hope to catch such an invisible thief?

You are all so much more than I know, so much more than I dare,
If we were all tested, surely I could never even ever compare;
As we all are gathered upon this broken down day
Seeking in vain, to find just the right words to say…

We know you'd be saying, that we need to stay standing strong
Keep making me realize, I haven’t even been here that long
But the time that I have, is worth more now than I know
I only wish I could share it, so now you just won’t have to go


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posted by infinite intimation at 12:10 AM on February 17, 2011 [4 favorites]