No, I will not spread your email chain April 17, 2011 7:37 AM Subscribe
My opinion: Email chains have no place on Metafilter. This post is just a repost of an email chain that has been sent around the world a zillion times. It is not Best of the Web. It's schlocky, saccharine hallmarky crap that is only going to engender chatfilter US vs Them discussions. There is nothing new here, nothing to be learned, nothing to be taken away. The only thing missing is the "Please send to a million people that you love or your left pinky toe will fall off."
I agree. I don't mind the intent, but there's nothing here I haven't seen since 1997 cluttering up my inbox. Maybe I'm too snarky, maybe I can't appreciate it because I'm not a mom, but the only thing a link like this accomplishes is running the risk of being a childless vs with children argument.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:42 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:42 AM on April 17, 2011
Oh, THIS is why we preview.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:42 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:42 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Er, sorry...that was aimed at Jess. The "fair enough" thing. Ya, ya know what...I need more coffee....my grar is working faster than my brain. Erm. Happy Sunday everyone? ;)
posted by dejah420 at 7:43 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by dejah420 at 7:43 AM on April 17, 2011
FREE PLOWCHOPS in your BRAND NEW MOTORHOME!!!!!!1
posted by Meatbomb at 7:46 AM on April 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 7:46 AM on April 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
This thread is now about your favorite pasta recipes.
TORTELLINI WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATOES AND FETA CHEESE
1. In a large stockpot, bring 2 gallons of water to a boil. Salt the water liberally and cook tortellini according to directions on package.
2. Meanwhile, heat three tablespoons of olive oil in a saute pan over medium heat. Cook one onion, finely diced, 6-7 minutes or until beginning to turn translucent. Add one whole garlic clove, chopped, and one 5 oz. package of sun-dried tomatoes, chopped, and cook for another minute. Add one cup of white wine and bring back to a boil, then remove from heat.
3. Drain pasta when it is just shy of al dente, then add to the tomato/wine/garlic/onion mixture, and toss to coat.
4. Spoon into four bowls and sprinkle each liberally with feta cheese.
posted by jbickers at 7:53 AM on April 17, 2011 [26 favorites]
TORTELLINI WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATOES AND FETA CHEESE
1. In a large stockpot, bring 2 gallons of water to a boil. Salt the water liberally and cook tortellini according to directions on package.
2. Meanwhile, heat three tablespoons of olive oil in a saute pan over medium heat. Cook one onion, finely diced, 6-7 minutes or until beginning to turn translucent. Add one whole garlic clove, chopped, and one 5 oz. package of sun-dried tomatoes, chopped, and cook for another minute. Add one cup of white wine and bring back to a boil, then remove from heat.
3. Drain pasta when it is just shy of al dente, then add to the tomato/wine/garlic/onion mixture, and toss to coat.
4. Spoon into four bowls and sprinkle each liberally with feta cheese.
posted by jbickers at 7:53 AM on April 17, 2011 [26 favorites]
I didn't stick my nose in the thread because I'm happily childfree and it said it was for moms, which I suspected meant it was exactly the kind of schlock it seems to have been. But on a quick skim of the comments in the thread, I'm grateful to the mods for closing it off before the (some) childed vs childfree thing got out of hand. Posts that encourage that are never best of the web.
On preview: Dad's homemade sauce recipes includes 2 6 oz cans of tomato paste, 1 6 oz can (measured in the paste can) of red wine, onions and garlic and Italian herb spices to taste. For meat, Italian sausage cut into bite size and sauted in olive oil. Serve over spaghetti with the wine you used to cook. Yum!
posted by immlass at 8:00 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
On preview: Dad's homemade sauce recipes includes 2 6 oz cans of tomato paste, 1 6 oz can (measured in the paste can) of red wine, onions and garlic and Italian herb spices to taste. For meat, Italian sausage cut into bite size and sauted in olive oil. Serve over spaghetti with the wine you used to cook. Yum!
posted by immlass at 8:00 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Please chill with the recipes already. That's not what we do here.
posted by hermitosis at 8:02 AM on April 17, 2011 [22 favorites]
posted by hermitosis at 8:02 AM on April 17, 2011 [22 favorites]
On preview: Dad's homemade sauce recipes includes 2 6 oz cans of tomato paste, 1 6 oz can (measured in the paste can) of red wine, onions and garlic and Italian herb spices to taste. For meat, Italian sausage cut into bite size and sauted in olive oil. Serve over spaghetti with the wine you used to cook. Yum!
Yum indeed; I use an almost identical recipe, even though I am not a dad.
posted by Forktine at 8:04 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Yum indeed; I use an almost identical recipe, even though I am not a dad.
posted by Forktine at 8:04 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
having been a cook, there are so many things wrong with that recipe that a novice would destroy that it is, in fact, not funny
posted by efalk at 8:07 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by efalk at 8:07 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
WEEKNIGHT CHEESY TUNA PESTO PENNE BAKE THING
Package of penne
200g tinned tuna, in olive oil
190g jar pesto - or make your own!
Grated cheddar (or any sharpish cheese), about 100g
Punnet of cherry tomatoes; sundrieds are good too!
1. Boil the pasta. While it's doing its thing, combine the tuna, oil, pesto, tomatoes, and cheddar into a bowl. Smoosh to combine. (This is a fun job for people who have had a hard day at work, or four-year-olds.) Turn on the broiler/grill (the thing on the top of the inside of your oven).
2. Drain the pasta when finished and toss through the tuna pesto mixture in the bowl. Pour everything into a baking dish, top with the remaining cheese, and blast-furnace that thing under the grill until the cheese is melty and crunchy and all kinds of wonderful.
3. Serve with a salad, if you can keep everyone out of the bowl long enough to get it onto plates.
4. Sneak out of your room at three in the morning and eat all the leftovers before your housemate gets up.
posted by mdonley at 8:08 AM on April 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
Package of penne
200g tinned tuna, in olive oil
190g jar pesto - or make your own!
Grated cheddar (or any sharpish cheese), about 100g
Punnet of cherry tomatoes; sundrieds are good too!
1. Boil the pasta. While it's doing its thing, combine the tuna, oil, pesto, tomatoes, and cheddar into a bowl. Smoosh to combine. (This is a fun job for people who have had a hard day at work, or four-year-olds.) Turn on the broiler/grill (the thing on the top of the inside of your oven).
2. Drain the pasta when finished and toss through the tuna pesto mixture in the bowl. Pour everything into a baking dish, top with the remaining cheese, and blast-furnace that thing under the grill until the cheese is melty and crunchy and all kinds of wonderful.
3. Serve with a salad, if you can keep everyone out of the bowl long enough to get it onto plates.
4. Sneak out of your room at three in the morning and eat all the leftovers before your housemate gets up.
posted by mdonley at 8:08 AM on April 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
This thread is now about your favorite pasta recipes.
We've already had to ask in the past that people not intentionally bomb metatalk threads with recipes. This is me asking again.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:11 AM on April 17, 2011 [33 favorites]
We've already had to ask in the past that people not intentionally bomb metatalk threads with recipes. This is me asking again.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:11 AM on April 17, 2011 [33 favorites]
having been a cook, there are so many things wrong with that recipe that a novice would destroy that it is, in fact, not funny
A proper recipe would involve cooking directions, true. That was really an ingredient list. (If it was my dad's cooking directions, it would probably include the words "a little salt, a little sugar, and five minutes longer.)
posted by immlass at 8:11 AM on April 17, 2011
A proper recipe would involve cooking directions, true. That was really an ingredient list. (If it was my dad's cooking directions, it would probably include the words "a little salt, a little sugar, and five minutes longer.)
posted by immlass at 8:11 AM on April 17, 2011
The most amusing thing is that there are people here who sit around waiting for the moment where they can post their humorous recipes.
posted by Dumsnill at 8:12 AM on April 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Dumsnill at 8:12 AM on April 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
Part cheese, part syrup, part saccharin.
NB: not a recipe.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:13 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
NB: not a recipe.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:13 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
*ducks* - also not a recipe.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:14 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:14 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
So how about that crappy post eh?
posted by Meatbomb at 8:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 8:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Well, I'll just put my recipe for building bridges and communicating well back in the cupboard then.
ANYTHING ELSE, recipe haters, you want our children now too?!
'cause if she doesn't do the dishes in 10 minutes, I'm totally fine with that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:19 AM on April 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
ANYTHING ELSE, recipe haters, you want our children now too?!
'cause if she doesn't do the dishes in 10 minutes, I'm totally fine with that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:19 AM on April 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
This post speaks to me because I simultaneously dropped both a souffle and my finest crystal at the urgent call of "Mom". And I'm a dad! And the crystal was meth.
posted by leetheflea at 8:23 AM on April 17, 2011 [24 favorites]
posted by leetheflea at 8:23 AM on April 17, 2011 [24 favorites]
I think this should be closed up. The OP of the original thread already seemed surprised that it wasn't going well, and there's no reason to drag a semi-new user through the MeTa mud.
posted by Think_Long at 8:30 AM on April 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Think_Long at 8:30 AM on April 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
To contrast my comment in the thread, I would like to make a boast about wonderful and unique and special my kid is:
Happy Spring from Ellie and Lewis!
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:31 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Happy Spring from Ellie and Lewis!
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:31 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
So I woke up with One More Freaking Dollar going through my head and I had to smile at what a crazy dream that was. A couple of clicks later and Oh My God! My bed? It's dry. But I feel like I might need to be deprogramed. That was one crazy rabbit hole.
posted by Sailormom at 8:33 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by Sailormom at 8:33 AM on April 17, 2011
We've already had to ask in the past that people not intentionally bomb metatalk threads with recipes. This is me asking again.
I'm with Think_Long. There's not a lot else this thread can do besides recipes, so if we're not wanting those is there a reason to keep this open? Not sure what more needs said.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:38 AM on April 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
I'm with Think_Long. There's not a lot else this thread can do besides recipes, so if we're not wanting those is there a reason to keep this open? Not sure what more needs said.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:38 AM on April 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
There's not a lot else this thread can do besides recipes...
Might be a good time to highlight what makes a good post on Metafilter, or how this post could have survived/been made better.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:41 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Might be a good time to highlight what makes a good post on Metafilter, or how this post could have survived/been made better.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:41 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I hadn't seen it (I've trained the four people that still communicate with me to NOT send that stuff), it reminded me of a couple of events from when the kids were little, and, in the end, took about two minutes of my time and made me smile...
Ya know, folks, sometimes you just need to ignore the stuff that doesn't interest you, it really wouldn't make the world a worse place to do so. And, sometimes, the rest of us could care less if you didn't like it.
posted by tomswift at 8:42 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Ya know, folks, sometimes you just need to ignore the stuff that doesn't interest you, it really wouldn't make the world a worse place to do so. And, sometimes, the rest of us could care less if you didn't like it.
posted by tomswift at 8:42 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
True story: one of the two people who used to send me loads upon loads of that schmaltzy crap where you have to send it on to 10,000 people or your testicles will rot off, well, he was in the army. Very much the roughy toughy type. Specialised in close protection. I never quite reconciled what he found so appealing about those type of emails.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:47 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by MuffinMan at 8:47 AM on April 17, 2011
stay on target people, please continue debating the shitty deleted thread... stay on target...
posted by Meatbomb at 8:49 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by Meatbomb at 8:49 AM on April 17, 2011
There's not a lot else this thread can do besides recipes...
On the contrary, this seems to have become the thread for posting baby videos or photos.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:49 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
On the contrary, this seems to have become the thread for posting baby videos or photos.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:49 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm glad that thread was deleted, because I'm kind of fond of my left pinky toe. My right I can take or leave.
posted by DU at 8:50 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by DU at 8:50 AM on April 17, 2011
There's not a lot else this thread can do besides recipes...
The thread doesn't have to do anything, actually. Usually we close threads because they need to be closed for some reason, not because there's no reason to keep them open. You're welcome to go enjoy your day.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:20 AM on April 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
The thread doesn't have to do anything, actually. Usually we close threads because they need to be closed for some reason, not because there's no reason to keep them open. You're welcome to go enjoy your day.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:20 AM on April 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
I think I just figured out how to make MetaTalk TEN THOUSAND TIMES more wonderful than it already is:
After a certain number of comments in a thread--say, 150 or so--a random Youtube video of adorable baby animals loads in the page, cuteroulette style. 150 comments of Nerd Thunderdome, adorable animals, 150 more comments, more cute animals!
Man, if I knew even the slightest bit about how to make Greasemonkey scripts, I would totally make this happen.
posted by meese at 9:24 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
After a certain number of comments in a thread--say, 150 or so--a random Youtube video of adorable baby animals loads in the page, cuteroulette style. 150 comments of Nerd Thunderdome, adorable animals, 150 more comments, more cute animals!
Man, if I knew even the slightest bit about how to make Greasemonkey scripts, I would totally make this happen.
posted by meese at 9:24 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Might be a good time to highlight what makes a good post on Metafilter, or how this post could have survived/been made better.
Well, for starters, the framing of "you must be a female who has procreated" put me off from the get-go, and I never bothered clicking through to the actual article but just read the discussion thread which wasn't supportive enough of the post, and kind of creepy (child molesters hiding in McDonald's bathrooms? This is heartwarming and weepy? WTF?)...
I don't know how it could have been better, but the framing was hackle-raising from the outset.
posted by hippybear at 9:25 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, for starters, the framing of "you must be a female who has procreated" put me off from the get-go, and I never bothered clicking through to the actual article but just read the discussion thread which wasn't supportive enough of the post, and kind of creepy (child molesters hiding in McDonald's bathrooms? This is heartwarming and weepy? WTF?)...
I don't know how it could have been better, but the framing was hackle-raising from the outset.
posted by hippybear at 9:25 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
meese, that basically happened, but with recipes, and it was annoying.
posted by Put the kettle on at 9:30 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Put the kettle on at 9:30 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
UbuRoivas, that child's cheeks need snorgling and zlurpy kisses. I demand that you send him/her to me at once. You can have my teenager and her learner's permit in exchange.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 9:45 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by SuperSquirrel at 9:45 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Man, as someone who doesn't molest children, this sure taught me to stop hiding in McDonald's bathrooms.
posted by klangklangston at 10:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by klangklangston at 10:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
Multi-forwarded chain email, yeah. Badly written, yeah. Still, it's hard to know how the thread might have gone if it hadn't been wrenched so badly off track in the fourth comment, which was left by the OP. People were already starting to be snide about the glurgey quality of the writing, but it was the OP who shifted things from "what sappy writing and insipid ideas LOL" to "if you don't have children you just don't understand and never can and by implication are obviously inferior to those of us who do".
Thread-tending rarely works well. Thread-tending by turning the thread into people-without-children vs. people-with-children will never work well.
posted by Lexica at 10:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [10 favorites]
Thread-tending rarely works well. Thread-tending by turning the thread into people-without-children vs. people-with-children will never work well.
posted by Lexica at 10:17 AM on April 17, 2011 [10 favorites]
But once again, Burger King gets a free pass.
posted by klangklangston at 10:18 AM on April 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by klangklangston at 10:18 AM on April 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
AskMetafilter, not MetaTalk, is the place for recipes on Metafilter.
posted by John Cohen at 10:18 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by John Cohen at 10:18 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
"if you don't have children you just don't understand and never can and by implication are obviously inferior to those of us who do".
It was three words. It's not totally clear what she means but it's also clear that no matter what she meant, her comment was not going to make the thread better. People get touchy about parenting stuff.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:22 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
It was three words. It's not totally clear what she means but it's also clear that no matter what she meant, her comment was not going to make the thread better. People get touchy about parenting stuff.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:22 AM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Burger King flame broils, of course they get a pass.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:36 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:36 AM on April 17, 2011
They flame broil children in the bathroom? That's gotta be against code.
posted by cmyk at 10:46 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by cmyk at 10:46 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Lexica: " Thread-tending rarely works well. Thread-tending by turning the thread into people-without-children vs. people-with-children will never work well."
I agree.
But from experience it can be difficult to create a post and not feel personally attacked when someone complains about the content. It takes a certain personality (or act of will) to not feel compelled to respond. That's not to say the OP's response was good or that the post itself was great. I don't think this was so much a framing problem as a content problem.
Even so, it kinda bugs me that the way this Meta is framed and the comments on the original post could have made a sorta new, low-volume user feel like shit for posting something to the front page that didn't violate any guidelines. I wish I could suggest a way that could have been avoided here.
posted by zarq at 10:51 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I agree.
But from experience it can be difficult to create a post and not feel personally attacked when someone complains about the content. It takes a certain personality (or act of will) to not feel compelled to respond. That's not to say the OP's response was good or that the post itself was great. I don't think this was so much a framing problem as a content problem.
Even so, it kinda bugs me that the way this Meta is framed and the comments on the original post could have made a sorta new, low-volume user feel like shit for posting something to the front page that didn't violate any guidelines. I wish I could suggest a way that could have been avoided here.
posted by zarq at 10:51 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I MeMailed with the user and I think she's fine about it. I stressed that she didn't do anything wrong but stumbled into a difficult topic for MeFi with a sort of lightweight post.
I didn't mention her own comment, it sort of didn't matter. People need to be prepared that their post might go badly for no fault of their own (or their own fault) from the get-go.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:55 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I didn't mention her own comment, it sort of didn't matter. People need to be prepared that their post might go badly for no fault of their own (or their own fault) from the get-go.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:55 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posting something to the front page that didn't violate any guidelines
Let's take a look at the Guidelines:
Let's take a look at the Guidelines:
Follow the golden rule, treat others' opinions with the same respect that you would like to be afforded. . . .posted by John Cohen at 11:01 AM on April 17, 2011
Comments should not be directed at other members of the site -- remember to stick to the subject and issues raised by the post, not the person who made it or others that commented on it. . . .
Might be a good time to highlight what makes a good post on Metafilter, or how this post could have survived/been made better.
There's a fascinating post that could have been made on that particular anecdote, but it would have needed to be framed as about the nature of chain emails, not the particulars of moms and daughters and yadda-yadda ... which is a minefield.
As a non-parent with various siblings and close lifelong friends who have kids, my line is always something like, "You are doing the most creative thing a human being can do. It puts my creative endeavors into shallow perspective." Of course, the flip of this is the unspoken part, best contained in a fellow writer friends snarky line about writers talking about the their writing: "It's like parents talking about their kids. Conceivably interesting but never as much as they think it is."
posted by philip-random at 11:28 AM on April 17, 2011
There's a fascinating post that could have been made on that particular anecdote, but it would have needed to be framed as about the nature of chain emails, not the particulars of moms and daughters and yadda-yadda ... which is a minefield.
As a non-parent with various siblings and close lifelong friends who have kids, my line is always something like, "You are doing the most creative thing a human being can do. It puts my creative endeavors into shallow perspective." Of course, the flip of this is the unspoken part, best contained in a fellow writer friends snarky line about writers talking about the their writing: "It's like parents talking about their kids. Conceivably interesting but never as much as they think it is."
posted by philip-random at 11:28 AM on April 17, 2011
That reference is on a giant billboard less than a quarter mile from my house. I cannot ride, walk or drive past it without getting JUST THAT LINE stuck in my head.
posted by klangklangston at 11:48 AM on April 17, 2011
posted by klangklangston at 11:48 AM on April 17, 2011
jessamyn: "I MeMailed with the user and I think she's fine about it. I stressed that she didn't do anything wrong but stumbled into a difficult topic for MeFi with a sort of lightweight post. "
Cool. Good to know. Thank you. :)
People need to be prepared that their post might go badly for no fault of their own (or their own fault) from the get-go.
True. Still, frustrating.
posted by zarq at 11:49 AM on April 17, 2011
Cool. Good to know. Thank you. :)
People need to be prepared that their post might go badly for no fault of their own (or their own fault) from the get-go.
True. Still, frustrating.
posted by zarq at 11:49 AM on April 17, 2011
I'm pretty sure when I got that email it was multicolored and centered.
posted by neuron at 12:04 PM on April 17, 2011
posted by neuron at 12:04 PM on April 17, 2011
John Cohen: "Let's take a look at the Guidelines"
The post didn't violate any guidelines.
If you have a problem with the OP's behaviour in the thread, that's a separate issue.
posted by zarq at 12:04 PM on April 17, 2011
The post didn't violate any guidelines.
If you have a problem with the OP's behaviour in the thread, that's a separate issue.
posted by zarq at 12:04 PM on April 17, 2011
They flame broil children in the bathroom? That's gotta be against code.
Clearly, you've never been a parent.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:05 PM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Clearly, you've never been a parent.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:05 PM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
But from experience it can be difficult to create a post and not feel personally attacked when someone complains about the content. It takes a certain personality (or act of will) to not feel compelled to respond.
So don't read the comments. I've made a few posts to metafilter and I haven't read the comments for any of them because I know I would feel personally attacked if I read someone complaining about it. Besides, a good post doesn't need the op in it anyway. If it is attacked other people will stand up for it. My attitude is like "Here's something I think you guys would like. Have fun. I'm goingto reddit out to play until it scrolls off the page."
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:35 PM on April 17, 2011
So don't read the comments. I've made a few posts to metafilter and I haven't read the comments for any of them because I know I would feel personally attacked if I read someone complaining about it. Besides, a good post doesn't need the op in it anyway. If it is attacked other people will stand up for it. My attitude is like "Here's something I think you guys would like. Have fun. I'm going
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:35 PM on April 17, 2011
The post didn't violate any guidelines.
I think a single-link-glurge post pretty clearly violates the very first guideline. It's not interesting content that most people haven't seen before. That was the reason I flagged it. I failed to move on because of the implication I saw in the OP's comment that only a certain kind of people were entitled to comment in the thread. As far as I'm concerned, that's never OK on Metafilter. Everybody who pays their five bucks gets a voice, and there's no secret handshake required to join any conversation.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
I think a single-link-glurge post pretty clearly violates the very first guideline. It's not interesting content that most people haven't seen before. That was the reason I flagged it. I failed to move on because of the implication I saw in the OP's comment that only a certain kind of people were entitled to comment in the thread. As far as I'm concerned, that's never OK on Metafilter. Everybody who pays their five bucks gets a voice, and there's no secret handshake required to join any conversation.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
from experience it can be difficult to create a post and not feel personally attacked when someone complains about the content. It takes a certain personality (or act of will) to not feel compelled to respond.
Oh, definitely. That's why, the few FPPs I've made, I hit "post" and then literally went away from the computer so I couldn't keep checking to see what people were saying.
I think it falls under the "learn MeFi culture and exercise self-control" heading, like "why MeFi will never have killfiles" or "why we have no intention of making it possible to set up a non-posting, non-commenting account". Otherwise, a couple of technowhiz solutions come to mind. Like, the OP may make one comment within five minutes of posting the FPP (to allow for the occasional "here's how I learned about this" or "for more info, here are links that didn't quite fit the FPP"), but other than that the OP's account is blocked from commenting in the post for at least 2 hours. Or, if the OP tries to post a comment in their own FPP, the system pops up a message "It looks like you may be in danger of thread-tending. Is that really what you want to do?"
posted by Lexica at 1:09 PM on April 17, 2011
Oh, definitely. That's why, the few FPPs I've made, I hit "post" and then literally went away from the computer so I couldn't keep checking to see what people were saying.
I think it falls under the "learn MeFi culture and exercise self-control" heading, like "why MeFi will never have killfiles" or "why we have no intention of making it possible to set up a non-posting, non-commenting account". Otherwise, a couple of technowhiz solutions come to mind. Like, the OP may make one comment within five minutes of posting the FPP (to allow for the occasional "here's how I learned about this" or "for more info, here are links that didn't quite fit the FPP"), but other than that the OP's account is blocked from commenting in the post for at least 2 hours. Or, if the OP tries to post a comment in their own FPP, the system pops up a message "It looks like you may be in danger of thread-tending. Is that really what you want to do?"
posted by Lexica at 1:09 PM on April 17, 2011
"Wait...BabyKiller uses that line in advertising? Are you kidding?"
Nah, it's a 97.1 KDAY billboard, right at Fountain and Virgil.
posted by klangklangston at 1:13 PM on April 17, 2011
Nah, it's a 97.1 KDAY billboard, right at Fountain and Virgil.
posted by klangklangston at 1:13 PM on April 17, 2011
If you have a problem with the OP's behaviour in the thread, that's a separate issue.
I don't see much distinction between "the post" and a comment by the OP a few minutes after posting it. The guidelines say if you violate them, your post might get deleted.
Look, you can invoke the guidelines to defend the OP, but then I'm going to read those guidelines and point out that the OP violated them.
posted by John Cohen at 1:15 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't see much distinction between "the post" and a comment by the OP a few minutes after posting it. The guidelines say if you violate them, your post might get deleted.
Look, you can invoke the guidelines to defend the OP, but then I'm going to read those guidelines and point out that the OP violated them.
posted by John Cohen at 1:15 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
So I woke up with One More Freaking Dollar going through my head...
Oh my god, me too. It's still in my head. I fear the lengths I'll have to go through to remove it.
posted by cooker girl at 1:17 PM on April 17, 2011
Oh my god, me too. It's still in my head. I fear the lengths I'll have to go through to remove it.
posted by cooker girl at 1:17 PM on April 17, 2011
nooneyouknow: " So don't read the comments.
Unpossible! :D
Honestly, I pay more attention to some threads than others. Some I forget about the moment I click "Post." Others I keep an eye on out of concern they'll derail, or because I think the topic is interesting and I'm hoping for a good discussion. But tbh, it probably took me a good 100 some-odd posts before I got the hang of just letting go. Which is totally my fault, no one else's. I was treating my MeFi posts as if they had been posted to my blog. Bad move.
My attitude is like "Here's something I think you guys would like. Have fun. I'm going to reddit out to play until it scrolls off the page.""
:) I like it.
posted by zarq at 2:42 PM on April 17, 2011
Unpossible! :D
Honestly, I pay more attention to some threads than others. Some I forget about the moment I click "Post." Others I keep an eye on out of concern they'll derail, or because I think the topic is interesting and I'm hoping for a good discussion. But tbh, it probably took me a good 100 some-odd posts before I got the hang of just letting go. Which is totally my fault, no one else's. I was treating my MeFi posts as if they had been posted to my blog. Bad move.
My attitude is like "Here's something I think you guys would like. Have fun. I'm going to reddit out to play until it scrolls off the page.""
:) I like it.
posted by zarq at 2:42 PM on April 17, 2011
They say I'm ugly, but it just don't faze me.
posted by box at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
The post didn't violate any guidelines.
If there isn't a guideline saying comments are only welcome from a particular sub-set of the community, then there probably should be.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:39 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
If there isn't a guideline saying comments are only welcome from a particular sub-set of the community, then there probably should be.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:39 PM on April 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
John Cohen: " I don't see much distinction between "the post" and a comment by the OP a few minutes after posting it. The guidelines say if you violate them, your post might get deleted."
Posts are treated differently than comments around here. Editorializing in the body of a post is more problematic than a single crappy comment. The former is more likely to get a post deleted than the latter. People might not bother to click on a post to read the comments if it's framed well or within the guidelines. Many of us might pass a post by entirely if the subject doesn't interest us. But one framed in an argumentative manner might draw comments regardless.
Anyway, the comment would most likely not have been deleted unless it was being flagged to death, because "says the childless?" wasn't a direct attack on another poster.
Notice that the parents vs. non-parents derail didn't occupy the majority of comments in the thread. It fizzled out.
posted by zarq at 5:00 PM on April 17, 2011
Posts are treated differently than comments around here. Editorializing in the body of a post is more problematic than a single crappy comment. The former is more likely to get a post deleted than the latter. People might not bother to click on a post to read the comments if it's framed well or within the guidelines. Many of us might pass a post by entirely if the subject doesn't interest us. But one framed in an argumentative manner might draw comments regardless.
Anyway, the comment would most likely not have been deleted unless it was being flagged to death, because "says the childless?" wasn't a direct attack on another poster.
Notice that the parents vs. non-parents derail didn't occupy the majority of comments in the thread. It fizzled out.
posted by zarq at 5:00 PM on April 17, 2011
Nah, it's a 97.1 KDAY billboard.
KDAY is 93.5, my good sir. And a fine radio station it is.
posted by joechip at 6:29 PM on April 17, 2011
KDAY is 93.5, my good sir. And a fine radio station it is.
posted by joechip at 6:29 PM on April 17, 2011
No more recipes? I must have missed that thread. Recipes were my favorite part of MeTa, aside from prompt resolution of the issues of the day.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:42 PM on April 17, 2011
posted by Ghidorah at 6:42 PM on April 17, 2011
Eh, I take as don't be obnoxious about recipes, particularly as a way of shutting down conversation, no matter how inane you (the general you) may think the conversation is.
Basically, don't be a dick.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:55 PM on April 17, 2011
Basically, don't be a dick.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:55 PM on April 17, 2011
In the harsh light of day I can see how completely inappropriate both the post and my comments within the thread were. I hadn't realised it was a chain mail that I was posting, and as suggested a quick google would have sorted that out.
I hadn't anticipated such a negative reaction and was surprised by it. A few too many wines resulted in some obnoxious responses on my part.
Lessons learned:
1. Research before posting.
2. People are free to dislike posts and be vocal about it.
3. No thread tending.
4. No posting after wine.
posted by skauskas at 7:20 PM on April 17, 2011 [28 favorites]
I hadn't anticipated such a negative reaction and was surprised by it. A few too many wines resulted in some obnoxious responses on my part.
Lessons learned:
1. Research before posting.
2. People are free to dislike posts and be vocal about it.
3. No thread tending.
4. No posting after wine.
posted by skauskas at 7:20 PM on April 17, 2011 [28 favorites]
I've been biting my tongue about this. Thanks for having the integrity to recognize that those specific pixels weren't exactly gleaming with fabulousness, alauskas. That's a hard thing to do; good on you for doing so.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:32 PM on April 17, 2011
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:32 PM on April 17, 2011
er ... skauskas .
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:54 PM on April 17, 2011
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:54 PM on April 17, 2011
skauskas: "Lessons learned:
1. Research before posting.
2. People are free to dislike posts and be vocal about it.
3. No thread tending.
4. No posting after wine."
All great points to follow. That was an exceptional apology. As Pareidoliatic Boy said, not an easy thing to do. Good for you skauskas.
posted by zarq at 7:58 PM on April 17, 2011
1. Research before posting.
2. People are free to dislike posts and be vocal about it.
3. No thread tending.
4. No posting after wine."
All great points to follow. That was an exceptional apology. As Pareidoliatic Boy said, not an easy thing to do. Good for you skauskas.
posted by zarq at 7:58 PM on April 17, 2011
My mother was child-free.
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:31 PM on April 17, 2011
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:31 PM on April 17, 2011
"KDAY is 93.5, my good sir. And a fine radio station it is."
Heh. It's number five on the car's radio presets. It's my antidote to NPR when I'm driving.
posted by klangklangston at 8:48 PM on April 17, 2011
Heh. It's number five on the car's radio presets. It's my antidote to NPR when I'm driving.
posted by klangklangston at 8:48 PM on April 17, 2011
All great points to follow. That was an exceptional apology.
That wasn't an apology and, even if it was, there is no need to apologize. A not-so-great post got deleted and the OP learned some general rules that will help her make a better future post.
posted by Falconetti at 9:57 PM on April 17, 2011
That wasn't an apology and, even if it was, there is no need to apologize. A not-so-great post got deleted and the OP learned some general rules that will help her make a better future post.
posted by Falconetti at 9:57 PM on April 17, 2011
For everyone who posts to the front page, I think one of the best things to [try to] remember is that by and large you as the poster are going to mostly be forgotten, except in rare circumstances. Maybe a very few people keep very careful track of who has posted what, and when, and how, but I think most people are like me, and here's how I am: Even if you're my very, very bestest friend who I love, love, love, and would donate my kidney to if you needed it – I'm not going to remember what posts you posted. Even if you are my sworn enemy for whom I'm sharpening the long knives and waiting for you to drift off to sleep (now that I have a copy of your house key -- thanks, cleaning person you failed to tip last Xmas!): I'm not going to remember what posts you posted.
To be really remembered for a particular post, said post has to be somehow big-"O" Outlandishly bad or silly, turn into an epic flamewar (with the OP at the center of the fracas), have the bad luck of turning into an longlasting inside meme (even then... most original posters aren't specifically remembered; pretty much the only specific user I remember that way is the poor guy who happened to keep signing his name at the bottom of his posts, and I only remember him because his sig became the meme)... or the poster must be really egregiously trying to play/cheat/pull one over on the community, or someone famous or semi-famous.
Other than that, what usually happens is that after a looooong time of posting, some posters become known for extra good posts, or posts that push a certain agenda, or posts about a particular topic, or posts with a certain style peculiarity, or posts that exhibit special insider/particularly well-informed knowledge, or posts that constantly smell trollish or tick a certain mostly-shared community nerve. But really? All that still amounts to a pretty infinitesimally small percentage of posters. Truly? No matter how good or bad your post is, you are probably not going to be remembered for it.
If somebody really, really likes or hates some post or comment[s] you make, they might go back and look at what else you've posted, and possibly even remember something about that (though, again, if like me – probably not, even after specifically looking up what you've posted from your history). Basically, the only people who are going to really be paying that much attention are you as the poster, and perhaps someone you've really, really pissed off recently.
tl/dr Rule of Thumb for The Vast Majority of Posters: Even if they remember your post, it's unlikely they will remember that you, specifically, posted it.
posted by taz at 5:25 AM on April 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
To be really remembered for a particular post, said post has to be somehow big-"O" Outlandishly bad or silly, turn into an epic flamewar (with the OP at the center of the fracas), have the bad luck of turning into an longlasting inside meme (even then... most original posters aren't specifically remembered; pretty much the only specific user I remember that way is the poor guy who happened to keep signing his name at the bottom of his posts, and I only remember him because his sig became the meme)... or the poster must be really egregiously trying to play/cheat/pull one over on the community, or someone famous or semi-famous.
Other than that, what usually happens is that after a looooong time of posting, some posters become known for extra good posts, or posts that push a certain agenda, or posts about a particular topic, or posts with a certain style peculiarity, or posts that exhibit special insider/particularly well-informed knowledge, or posts that constantly smell trollish or tick a certain mostly-shared community nerve. But really? All that still amounts to a pretty infinitesimally small percentage of posters. Truly? No matter how good or bad your post is, you are probably not going to be remembered for it.
If somebody really, really likes or hates some post or comment[s] you make, they might go back and look at what else you've posted, and possibly even remember something about that (though, again, if like me – probably not, even after specifically looking up what you've posted from your history). Basically, the only people who are going to really be paying that much attention are you as the poster, and perhaps someone you've really, really pissed off recently.
tl/dr Rule of Thumb for The Vast Majority of Posters: Even if they remember your post, it's unlikely they will remember that you, specifically, posted it.
posted by taz at 5:25 AM on April 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
Can someone please tell me that I am not crazy and that "email chains" sounds wrong
You are not crazy, floam (or at least, not about this). It should clearly be "chain email", deriving from it's snailmail ancestor, the chain letter.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:01 AM on April 18, 2011
You are not crazy, floam (or at least, not about this). It should clearly be "chain email", deriving from it's snailmail ancestor, the chain letter.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:01 AM on April 18, 2011
Jesus, those baby goats are adorable.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:02 AM on April 18, 2011
posted by ryanshepard at 6:02 AM on April 18, 2011
Is this the place to rant about glurge? I'd like to complain about the Facebook chain status (chain Facebook status? Facebook status chain? viral Facebook status? floam, please advise) that goes "Most of us have a thousand wishes. A, B, C,... A cancer patient has only one--to get better..."
Bullshit. I'm pretty sure that if I were ever diagnosed with cancer, that would only mean that I had a thousand and one wishes rather than a thousand. It wouldn't (I hope) suddenly obviate all my other hopes and dreams for life. It wouldn't (I hope) reduce me to being only a cancer patient. And I think that's more than a bit insulting to cancer patients/survivors to suggest that it would. And I suppose it's possible that that's one of those things I couldn't possibly understand without having had it, but I doubt it. I think it's telling that the people I've seen post that drivel are not, as far as I know, cancer patients/survivors themselves, and I've never seen any of the actual cancer survivors I know post anything like that.
I've held my tongue and not responded to posts like those so far because a) I'm presuming they mean well and b) they're friends, or at least acquaintances that I generally like, but I don't know how long I can hold out.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:45 AM on April 18, 2011 [9 favorites]
Bullshit. I'm pretty sure that if I were ever diagnosed with cancer, that would only mean that I had a thousand and one wishes rather than a thousand. It wouldn't (I hope) suddenly obviate all my other hopes and dreams for life. It wouldn't (I hope) reduce me to being only a cancer patient. And I think that's more than a bit insulting to cancer patients/survivors to suggest that it would. And I suppose it's possible that that's one of those things I couldn't possibly understand without having had it, but I doubt it. I think it's telling that the people I've seen post that drivel are not, as far as I know, cancer patients/survivors themselves, and I've never seen any of the actual cancer survivors I know post anything like that.
I've held my tongue and not responded to posts like those so far because a) I'm presuming they mean well and b) they're friends, or at least acquaintances that I generally like, but I don't know how long I can hold out.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:45 AM on April 18, 2011 [9 favorites]
That's why, the few FPPs I've made, I hit "post" and then literally went away from the computer so I couldn't keep checking to see what people were saying.
Protesters in France destroyed Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" today. I thought about doing a post about it, but, if such a post were to appear, I would want to comment in it, and would not want to seem like I posted the story just so I would have a place to rant about the subject.
It's a sort of paradox of MetaFilter. Threads often go better if the OP stays away from them, but the OP has probably posted something they feel pretty passionately about, and so it's going to be hard to stay away.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:00 AM on April 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Protesters in France destroyed Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" today. I thought about doing a post about it, but, if such a post were to appear, I would want to comment in it, and would not want to seem like I posted the story just so I would have a place to rant about the subject.
It's a sort of paradox of MetaFilter. Threads often go better if the OP stays away from them, but the OP has probably posted something they feel pretty passionately about, and so it's going to be hard to stay away.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:00 AM on April 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
I've held my tongue and not responded to posts like those so far because a) I'm presuming they mean well and b) they're friends, or at least acquaintances that I generally like, but I don't know how long I can hold out.
There's a way to mute people on Facebook -- you click the little x in the upper right-hand corner of their post and you are given the option of hiding the person.
It's quite useful if you have a friend, acquaintance, or family member who tends to post those sorts of things.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:02 AM on April 18, 2011
There's a way to mute people on Facebook -- you click the little x in the upper right-hand corner of their post and you are given the option of hiding the person.
It's quite useful if you have a friend, acquaintance, or family member who tends to post those sorts of things.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:02 AM on April 18, 2011
I'm aware of that, Astro Zombie, and have used it on occasion, but one obnoxious cancer-patient status is not in and of itself enough cause to hide someone who posts otherwise interesting (to me) things.
Maybe it's all the more annoying because it comes from otherwise intelligent people, and not the usual crackpots whom I've already hidden (or at least I don't see it when the crackpots post it).
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:10 AM on April 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Maybe it's all the more annoying because it comes from otherwise intelligent people, and not the usual crackpots whom I've already hidden (or at least I don't see it when the crackpots post it).
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:10 AM on April 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Protesters in France destroyed Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" today.
This is probably a good place to talk about one of my favorite pieces of meta-art. An artist got a plexiglass cube, filled it with urine, and put a copy of "Piss Christ" in it, thus, the "Piss Piss Christ." During the art opening, an unrelated performance artist saw his opportunity and whipped out his dick and pissed on the Piss Piss Christ, and thus the Piss Piss Piss Christ was born. If you love Jesus, piss on this comment and forward it to all your friends!
posted by fuq at 9:42 AM on April 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is probably a good place to talk about one of my favorite pieces of meta-art. An artist got a plexiglass cube, filled it with urine, and put a copy of "Piss Christ" in it, thus, the "Piss Piss Christ." During the art opening, an unrelated performance artist saw his opportunity and whipped out his dick and pissed on the Piss Piss Christ, and thus the Piss Piss Piss Christ was born. If you love Jesus, piss on this comment and forward it to all your friends!
posted by fuq at 9:42 AM on April 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
It's a sort of paradox of MetaFilter. Threads often go better if the OP stays away from them, but the OP has probably posted something they feel pretty passionately about, and so it's going to be hard to stay away.
I thought (fuzzy memory, and I'm not where I can spend time digging into the MeTa archives right now) that this is why the mods tend to discourage making FPPs about topics one's passionate about. Because the OP of an FPP is supposed to take a somewhat hands-off or neutral position, if a topic is something one wants to be able to discuss with vigor, it's better to let somebody else post it.
posted by Lexica at 11:11 AM on April 18, 2011
I thought (fuzzy memory, and I'm not where I can spend time digging into the MeTa archives right now) that this is why the mods tend to discourage making FPPs about topics one's passionate about. Because the OP of an FPP is supposed to take a somewhat hands-off or neutral position, if a topic is something one wants to be able to discuss with vigor, it's better to let somebody else post it.
posted by Lexica at 11:11 AM on April 18, 2011
Yeah it's a bind. Our general feeling is that if you're making a post because People! Must! Know! about the topic, it's likely you'll make a post that may not have a lot to interest people who do not care about the topic otherwise. There's often a sense to those posts like "Everyone really cares about what's been going on with Topic X, so here's a post about recent developments" where recent developments are often an annoying lawsuit or some jackass saying something stupid about it.
So, it's interesting if you're interested in the topic, but it's minutiae if you're not. Additionally the "sign my petition" sorts of posts are almost always terrible. So, it's really different if you have a political-type topic [i.e. something that has related legislation, enforcement or voting] and much different if you're just interested in something so much so that you made a post about it [giant easter eggs, astronomical phenomena, new and nifty scientific stuff, art history]. I'm sure there's a way to encapsulate that, but if the post's general push is to get you to go do something, as opposed to just enjoying whatever it is that is linked to, then it may be seen as axe-grindy or overly advocacy based. And the additional problem is that if the OP cares passionately about the topic and other people are like "Who cares" or "I don't care about this topic" it's set the OP up to be oppositional to people in the thread.
This goes extra for when the topic posted about is something that the OP assumes everyone will likely agree with [usually some sort of "We all hate X" or sometimes "We all love X'] and the post is phrased like that which immediately sets up people who disagree as oppositional and they say so. So it's good to be enthusiastic and passionate about your subject, but you have to be able to make a post with the requisite amount of distance so that you can let the thread sort of do what it's going to do and not try to bend it to your will. This is difficult but not impossible but there are definitely people for whom it is much more difficult than others.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:46 AM on April 18, 2011
So, it's interesting if you're interested in the topic, but it's minutiae if you're not. Additionally the "sign my petition" sorts of posts are almost always terrible. So, it's really different if you have a political-type topic [i.e. something that has related legislation, enforcement or voting] and much different if you're just interested in something so much so that you made a post about it [giant easter eggs, astronomical phenomena, new and nifty scientific stuff, art history]. I'm sure there's a way to encapsulate that, but if the post's general push is to get you to go do something, as opposed to just enjoying whatever it is that is linked to, then it may be seen as axe-grindy or overly advocacy based. And the additional problem is that if the OP cares passionately about the topic and other people are like "Who cares" or "I don't care about this topic" it's set the OP up to be oppositional to people in the thread.
This goes extra for when the topic posted about is something that the OP assumes everyone will likely agree with [usually some sort of "We all hate X" or sometimes "We all love X'] and the post is phrased like that which immediately sets up people who disagree as oppositional and they say so. So it's good to be enthusiastic and passionate about your subject, but you have to be able to make a post with the requisite amount of distance so that you can let the thread sort of do what it's going to do and not try to bend it to your will. This is difficult but not impossible but there are definitely people for whom it is much more difficult than others.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:46 AM on April 18, 2011
When you click that little x in Facebook, it now gives you the option to hide just that post, and not the person. I find that really useful with people I generally like but who post occasional annoying things, or things on topics that I just need to stay away from.
posted by not that girl at 12:04 PM on April 18, 2011
posted by not that girl at 12:04 PM on April 18, 2011
Bullshit. I'm pretty sure that if I were ever diagnosed with cancer, that would only mean that I had a thousand and one wishes rather than a thousand. It wouldn't (I hope) suddenly obviate all my other hopes and dreams for life. It wouldn't (I hope) reduce me to being only a cancer patient. And I think that's more than a bit insulting to cancer patients/survivors to suggest that it would. And I suppose it's possible that that's one of those things I couldn't possibly understand without having had it, but I doubt it. I think it's telling that the people I've seen post that drivel are not, as far as I know, cancer patients/survivors themselves, and I've never seen any of the actual cancer survivors I know post anything like that.
Oh my god, thank you. YES. I'm wrapping up cancer treatment and I find all these assumptions about "what I want" and "who I am" to be wholly off-base in so many ways. There's this weird cultural assumption (as well-meaning as it is) that having cancer immediately turns you into some sort of Tragic Noble Warrior, whose entire life becomes focused on slaying the dragon of mortality (as if we're the only ones who have to face death, and that no one else ever dies of congestive heart failure or MS or stroke or complications of diabetes or renal failure or massive head injuries sustained in car crashes or the thousand other ways we all wind up dying). I mean, yeah, treatment is a big part of my life right now, and this past year has changed my life in a lot of ways, but it doesn't define who I am and "getting better" is not my sole wish in the world. I have lots of wishes -- more now than ever, perhaps.
Anyway, sorry to derail -- just really glad to see that not everyone thinks that such glurge really represents the mindset of everyone who happens to have cancer.
posted by scody at 1:20 PM on April 18, 2011 [14 favorites]
Oh my god, thank you. YES. I'm wrapping up cancer treatment and I find all these assumptions about "what I want" and "who I am" to be wholly off-base in so many ways. There's this weird cultural assumption (as well-meaning as it is) that having cancer immediately turns you into some sort of Tragic Noble Warrior, whose entire life becomes focused on slaying the dragon of mortality (as if we're the only ones who have to face death, and that no one else ever dies of congestive heart failure or MS or stroke or complications of diabetes or renal failure or massive head injuries sustained in car crashes or the thousand other ways we all wind up dying). I mean, yeah, treatment is a big part of my life right now, and this past year has changed my life in a lot of ways, but it doesn't define who I am and "getting better" is not my sole wish in the world. I have lots of wishes -- more now than ever, perhaps.
Anyway, sorry to derail -- just really glad to see that not everyone thinks that such glurge really represents the mindset of everyone who happens to have cancer.
posted by scody at 1:20 PM on April 18, 2011 [14 favorites]
Protesters in France destroyed Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" today.
Holy shit ...
Seriously.
Is there only the one "Piss Christ"? If so I saw it a few years back on one of my extremely infrequent trips to an official "Art Gallery". It's really quite a beautiful thing, which could just as easily have been called something like "Saviour In Amber" and sold to true believers.
posted by philip-random at 3:09 PM on April 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Holy shit ...
Seriously.
Is there only the one "Piss Christ"? If so I saw it a few years back on one of my extremely infrequent trips to an official "Art Gallery". It's really quite a beautiful thing, which could just as easily have been called something like "Saviour In Amber" and sold to true believers.
posted by philip-random at 3:09 PM on April 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
But once again, Burger King gets a free pass.
That's only if you got busy there, even if only once.
We can't go to Burger King EVER AGAIN
Sorry, I have nothing substantive to add. I have a child, but I'm male, and it made me feel really creepy and a little sick...
posted by pupdog at 3:46 PM on April 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
FREE PLOWCHOPS in your BRAND NEW MOTORHOME!!!!!!1
If something doesn't make me laugh so hard I have to hurriedly leave the office at least, oh.. say.. twice a month, I'm not truly living.
posted by herbplarfegan at 4:27 PM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
If something doesn't make me laugh so hard I have to hurriedly leave the office at least, oh.. say.. twice a month, I'm not truly living.
posted by herbplarfegan at 4:27 PM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
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posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:41 AM on April 17, 2011 [6 favorites]