Weirdo alert! No, wait...

November 1, 2011 3:14 PM

Welcome MeFi's own Jeff Vandermeer, who says he's just popping his head in on Scattercat's post on The Weird, but it would be lovely if we could entice him to stay.
posted by Artw to MetaFilter-Related at 3:14 PM (47 comments total)

BRICK HIM INTO THE WALLS
posted by The Whelk at 3:18 PM on November 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHELK
posted by killdevil at 3:21 PM on November 1, 2011 [8 favorites]

YES! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
posted by shakespeherian at 3:33 PM on November 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

Stay, Jeff, stay!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:33 PM on November 1, 2011

Yay!

I'll take any excuse to go to the bookshelf and pull down The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases, which is one of my most favorite things ever.
posted by rewil at 3:41 PM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I like it when people say that something is an excuse to reread a book. I imagine an evil troll that lives in your bookcase that you have to justify your reading decisions to.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:48 PM on November 1, 2011 [12 favorites]

Would be excellent to have Jeff stay, but the more time on MeFi, the less time writing, and do we want to be responsible for that?

(Rewil - cool! I was lucky enough to be a contributor to The Guide - 'Inverted Drowning Syndrome' and 'Pentzler's Lubriciousness' were mine. Was a huge amount of fun to be part of, not least when it got reviewed by The Lancet).
posted by reynir at 3:50 PM on November 1, 2011

If it helps convince you to stay Jeff, I'd be willing to bet that no other online community has such a high percentage of people that actually solved to coded story in City of Saints and Madmen.
posted by Gygesringtone at 3:56 PM on November 1, 2011

I've always wanted to be bricked into a wall. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, for a short time. Thanks for the kind words.

Ah, the fake disease guide. Still in print! Still full of goiters.

Seriously, re the coded story? (I'm slowly working on a fantasy spy novella set in Ambergris that reads normally on the surface but tells a whole different story when decrypted. It's hard work.)

Jeff
posted by JeffVan at 4:20 PM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hi Jeff! Listen, no need to sign your posts, the handy little thingie there at the bottom of your comment lets everyone know it's you! And welcome to Metafilter.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:54 PM on November 1, 2011

It's *Jeff Vandermeer*.

Let the man sign his posts if he wants.

Sara
posted by spinifex23 at 5:10 PM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm an old-school curmudgeon.

Sincerely,

Jeffrog the Insane
posted by JeffVan at 5:12 PM on November 1, 2011 [12 favorites]

Firefox doesn't know how to open this address, because the protocol (ahttp) isn't associated with any program.
posted by edgeways at 5:13 PM on November 1, 2011

What someone can do and what they probably want to do are not necessarily the same. That said, it's no Damon Knight on Usenet incident.
posted by Justinian at 5:13 PM on November 1, 2011

Well, I haven't been here that long, but the community seems to have just the right combination of neuroses and free time to make it a possibility.

I'm trying to figure out how that's all that different from your other Ambergris books...
posted by Gygesringtone at 5:31 PM on November 1, 2011

I imagine an evil troll that lives in your bookcase that you have to justify your reading decisions to.

Wait, you mean you don't have one?
posted by Zed at 5:37 PM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

brick into the walls
for the love of god
That's what happened to Suster Bertken in 1415 in my hometown of Utrecht.
Voluntarily though. She lived like that for 57 years until her death at the age of 85.
posted by joost de vries at 6:02 PM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

YES! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
posted by shakespeherian at 3:33 PM on November 1 [2 favorites +] [!] No other comments.

Stay, Jeff, stay!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:33 PM on November 1 [+] [!] No other comments.


This is all weirdly reminding me of this song from 1776.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 6:22 PM on November 1, 2011

READ MOAR POE
posted by shakespeherian at 7:01 PM on November 1, 2011

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
posted by shakespeherian at 7:03 PM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, this is cool. Wait until he has as many comments as delmoi.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:08 PM on November 1, 2011

The Whelk: "BRICK HIM INTO THE WALLS"

I figured that's why we hadn't heard from Scott Adams for a while.
posted by arcticseal at 7:24 PM on November 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

This is like the second or third time I've made a post and the subject has appeared. First time for it being an actual well-known person, though.

I must use this power only for good.

Or maybe for pranks.

Only for good pranks, how about that?
posted by Scattercat at 7:28 PM on November 1, 2011

Ah so,
E.A. Poe.

I still prefer my link though, and I will not rest until 1776, The Musical has its proper place among the liberty bell and the McRib as a fundamental symbol of America.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 7:29 PM on November 1, 2011

Metafilter: NEMO ME IMPVNE LACESSIT.
posted by Iridic at 7:36 PM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's *Jeff Vandermeer*.

Oh.

OK, then! Carry on!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:04 PM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Scattercat, can you make Peter Watts appear?

Because that would be like witchcraft
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:35 PM on November 1, 2011

Jeff, I went out looking for mushrooms the other week (thanks to The Whelk) and thought of you. Stay! Yay Tallahassee!
posted by ch1x0r at 9:10 PM on November 1, 2011

I could most likely make Peter Watts appear.

Jeff, when does the book come out-b/c i am salivating.
posted by PinkMoose at 11:08 PM on November 1, 2011

/has thus far failed to summon Watts, despite apparently co-owning the PeterWatts tag.
posted by Artw at 12:19 AM on November 2, 2011

Why does all the excitement happen when I'm asleep?

Ah well.

/re-reads Finch. Again.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 1:34 AM on November 2, 2011

reynir writes "Would be excellent to have Jeff stay, but the more time on MeFi, the less time writing, and do we want to be responsible for that?
""

Well it's not like we're TV Tropes; you can put this website down.
posted by Mitheral at 2:24 AM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: have you written something? If so, can we be your groupie?
posted by hal_c_on at 2:49 AM on November 2, 2011

Metafilter: have you written something? If so, can we be your groupie?

People of Metafilter, I know you're all just enormously embarrassed by this devastating indictment of your essential shallowness. Surely it's a testament to the commenter's Herculean patience and tolerance that he can somehow remain an active contributor to this website, this hideous hive of pathetic sycophants. We all owe him a debt of gratitude for his noble attempt to raise us up out of our blindly hero-worshipping state.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:17 AM on November 2, 2011 [5 favorites]

I'm pretty much willing to be a groupie for anyone who's written anything.

Except Stephenie Meyer.
posted by Scattercat at 4:42 AM on November 2, 2011

You know what I like about MetaFilter? I have no idea who this person is, but on the basis of this welcome and the phrase 'Eccentric & Discredited Diseases' I'm about thirty seconds away from clicking a button labelled 'Buy now with 1-click'.

That said, if this turns out anything like that time I bought a JK Rowling novel on the basis of a MetaFilter thread, I will fucking cut you all.
posted by jack_mo at 5:57 AM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

Do it, jack_mo. You may also be interested in this.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 6:07 AM on November 2, 2011

Hi, Jeff VanderMeer. Please stick around, this is a good place.

I don't know anything about you, first I've heard your name, but this remains a good place. :)
posted by Malor at 6:07 AM on November 2, 2011

Metafilter needs more Jeffs, tbh. Someone go find Noon.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 6:10 AM on November 2, 2011

Welcome MeFi's own Jeff Vandermeer, who

on his first day gets taken straight over to MeTa - the grey room where the punishment is normally meted out.

Not sure this is the best way to welcome anyone, but here goes:

OK Vandermeer, if that's your real name, those comments were completely uncalled for, you've violated every guideline of this site, your account should be immediately deleted, and if I could vote on it, you'd be banned for life. It's people like you who are driving away long-term members like languagehat. Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!! Matt should take your five dollars, flush them down the toilet, and thoroughly wash his hands afterwards.

OK. Now you are officially a member of the club.

Secret handshake information to follow......
posted by three blind mice at 6:17 AM on November 2, 2011

I figured that's why we hadn't heard from Scott Adams for a while.


To derail... It's kinda weird how completely Dilbert has vanished from my life... considering it was the one constant of my internet life from almost the start until, well you know. It's like how I now have to make an effort to remember I once smoked.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:30 AM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

I sometimes have to make an effort to remember once I've smoked.
posted by longsleeves at 1:07 PM on November 2, 2011

"I'm pretty much willing to be a groupie for anyone who's written anything."

Me too!

"Except Stephenie Meyer."

Erm, good point. And maybe Dan Brown. Everybody else is awesome, though!
posted by Kevin Street at 1:54 PM on November 2, 2011

Hi Jeff... welcome to metafilter.
posted by crackingdes at 7:16 PM on November 2, 2011

I don't think you have to make an exception for Dan Brown. I always pictured him in a role like Julia in Nineteen Eighty-Four.
posted by Gygesringtone at 7:23 PM on November 2, 2011

It's kinda weird how completely Dilbert has vanished from my life

I tried to unsubscribe from the Dilbert daily cartoon a couple of years ago as I found it kinda boring after a while, but the unsubscribe link doesn't work so it's just consigned to my junk filter. Every so often when I check my junk mail folder, I realise why I unsubscribed in the first place.
posted by arcticseal at 8:55 PM on November 2, 2011

I write terrible novels that I never do much with, metafilter comments and angry rants about gender on reddit. Will you be my groupie?
posted by NoraReed at 8:56 PM on November 3, 2011