strange thing taking place on the front page

May 7, 2012 10:51 PM

Could someone explain the strange thing taking place on the front page right now?

At time of posting here is the last four in sequence: Grandpa was a Baller - The story of my man boobs - Here’s the thing, ladies: I don’t want to have sex with you - Why Black Women are Fat

I am not suggesting there is any premeditation or stuntiness, but it seems there is a meta-narrative being constructed from these post topics/titles. What does it mean? At what point can we confirm that there is indeed a meta-narrative? What is going on? How does one live a good life, in light of this? Please note that these are emphatically not rhetorical questions.

posted by Meatbomb to MetaFilter-Related at 10:51 PM (71 comments total)

Sounds like you went full astral. Never go full astral.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:57 PM on May 7, 2012 [63 favorites]

oh god its happened again, time to go VIOLET OMEGA HARWOOD
posted by The Whelk at 10:57 PM on May 7, 2012 [3 favorites]

Please note that these are emphatically not rhetorical questions.

I'll just close this up now.
posted by andoatnp at 10:58 PM on May 7, 2012

You took the red pill.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:59 PM on May 7, 2012

.
posted by special-k at 11:00 PM on May 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

don't worry, if the dimensional reality matrix tripped up we'd have an audio warning first
posted by The Whelk at 11:02 PM on May 7, 2012

It's the WTF Convergence, happens once every three years, usually corresponding to the Supermoon and Joss Whedon movie releases...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on May 7, 2012 [5 favorites]

CABAL CROW CENTRAL CONTAINMENT NOT WORKING ADVISE
posted by The Whelk at 11:06 PM on May 7, 2012

OK, since we're doing this - is it just me, or is the tone on metafilter especially nasty tonight?

I wanted to say this in the sex thread, and then the Burroughs thread, but I didn't want to be THAT GUY.
posted by lunasol at 11:10 PM on May 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

And you can now add "The honeybees are still dying" which fits in with the ongoing theme in ways I REALLY do not want to talk about.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:13 PM on May 7, 2012

Many of this evening's posts showed up on longform or longreads within the last 24 hours, before they hit the front page here.

I think you're just seeing a weird synchronicity. If it exists at all
posted by zarq at 11:23 PM on May 7, 2012

Since this thread exists, I think it's apparent that Meatbomb is exceptionally talented at spotting narratives that aren't directly indicated. But just in case, I think it's best that at least one person points out that nobody has any what you are talking about. What strange thing are you seeing?
posted by BurnChao at 11:27 PM on May 7, 2012

How exactly does gynocomastia relate to basketball, or is this Choose Your Own Adventure?
posted by Brocktoon at 11:29 PM on May 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

For what it's worth I too have felt a weird vibe on the blue tonight. Must be the supermoon.
posted by Scientist at 11:29 PM on May 7, 2012 [4 favorites]

Grandpa was a Baller - The story of my man boobs - Here’s the thing, ladies: I don’t want to have sex with you - Why Black Women are Fat

Then all the honeybees died. The end.
posted by salvia at 11:31 PM on May 7, 2012

The Powers That Be here still should double-check to make sure that the Twitter interface on user pages hasn't been hacked to let Twitter Trends leak in.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:36 PM on May 7, 2012

I thought they were all facets of Paul Revere myself.
posted by michaelh at 11:39 PM on May 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

nobody has any what you are talking about
posted by eddydamascene at 11:40 PM on May 7, 2012 [4 favorites]

I have some.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:43 PM on May 7, 2012 [7 favorites]

TL;DR: People are a bunch of petty, vicious bastards who desperately throw up an impenetrable wall of shitty throwaway zingers to avoid facing the fact that every last shred of idealism and empathy they ever had in them died, rendering them empty, poisonous mediocrities with absolutely nothing to offer. Rather than take a good hard look in the mirror, they project their self-loathing onto anyone--everyone!-- in a virtual never-ending bloodbath of derision, mockery, and hate.

I suppose the only way to win is not to play. Go sit under a tree, feel the sun on your face, the breeze in your hair, and read some Hafiz.
posted by doreur at 11:45 PM on May 7, 2012 [7 favorites]

Don't take the brown acid!
posted by dg at 11:50 PM on May 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

There's a lot of angry and dumb out there. I suspect the perigee-syzygy is tidally drawing all the dank salty juices out of people's downbelows up into their brains, resulting in a rare Superhurr event.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:43 AM on May 8, 2012

i was in post new topic before manboobs got posted. i didn't see it until after i posted. if i had seen it before, i probably would have sat on mine for a while.
posted by nadawi at 12:57 AM on May 8, 2012

Look me in the eye and repeat after me. Then everything will be alright.
posted by adamvasco at 1:00 AM on May 8, 2012

I suspect the perigee-syzygy is tidally drawing all the dank salty juices out of people's downbelows up into their brains.

I am *so sick* of people assuming I've got dank salty juice in my downbelows. My downbelows have never had dank salty juices in them. My downbelows have a miniscule quantity of thin, fruity sugar water in, and I'm sending off a query to Vice right now to see if they'd like 800 words on the subject.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:00 AM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Like Kool-Aid? Because, yum. (Also, is anybody in this thread holding? I'm asking for a friend.)
posted by taz (staff) at 1:04 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I thought that Paul Revere post was going to be about the Beastie Boys, but it cited that (florid) NYT article about the Brown University Library book conservation tech.
posted by gingerest at 1:06 AM on May 8, 2012

a friend once scored some purplesaurus rex years after it left the shelves. we celebrated by mixing it with everclear. then i puked in a mefite's bathroom as he tried to get in to pee. i'm pretty sure that was the first night i met him. this was probably before either of us had a metafilter account.
posted by nadawi at 1:11 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

taz: " is anybody in this thread holding"

Yes, but perhaps not in the way you mean ...
posted by dg at 1:14 AM on May 8, 2012

Correlation =/= causation? Also Taz, I'm holding but I don't want to share.
posted by Drumhellz at 1:21 AM on May 8, 2012

Yo, Meatbomb? You forgot to pass to the left about half an hour ago.

It's cool, though. Everyone else forgot, too.
posted by loquacious at 1:22 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Like Kool-Aid? Because, yum. (Also, is anybody in this thread holding? I'm asking for a friend.)

Holding Kool-Aid? I got orange, lemonade, tropical punch, and cherry. It makes great DIY Gatorade:

1 packet Kool-Aid
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/2 cup fruit juice

Top up to 1.8L with water.

Now if you'll excuse me, my wife is vomiting. No, really. That's why I'm making Gatorade.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:47 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I figured one of those threads would make it to MeTa, but not all of them.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:49 AM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Like Kool-Aid?

Yeah, I only got Jonestown flavour though.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:56 AM on May 8, 2012

It tastes like burning!
posted by loquacious at 2:12 AM on May 8, 2012

hmmmm..the response to this "jokey" meta is a bit different than the response to that jokey meta.

consistency folks, consistency...it helps the peasants understand their world better.
posted by HuronBob at 2:13 AM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Balls, boobs, ladies and sex. Is that the link? Do I win a prize?!
posted by Decani at 2:26 AM on May 8, 2012

Oh, and women. I missed women. Cuh! Story of my life.
posted by Decani at 2:27 AM on May 8, 2012

Actually there was already an open, active Metatalk post on favorites deletions at that point, HuronBob.

I read a comment in one of the these front page threads remarking on the current semi-weird series of Mefi posts, so I wasn't totally surprised to see it come up here.

As moderators we can't answer why each person chose to post what they did when they did, except to say we don't think they planned it out together. (We don't.) Nadawi has explained here what happened with her post.
posted by taz (staff) at 2:37 AM on May 8, 2012

Meatbomb, you know how you sometimes tell people to stop doing that thing they're doing, or there will be consequences?

Stop doing that thing you're doing, or there will be consequences.
posted by flabdablet at 3:28 AM on May 8, 2012

How does one live a good life, in light of this?

Don't look down
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:34 AM on May 8, 2012

Maybe this'll help you, meatbomb.
posted by crunchland at 4:18 AM on May 8, 2012

Grandpa was a Baller - The story of my man boobs - Here’s the thing, ladies: I don’t want to have sex with you - Why Black Women are Fat

Time for me to make another post about some old banjo player from Tennessee? Or some obscure soul singer from the early 60s that only me and Peter McDermott ever heard of? Cause that'll normalize things.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:15 AM on May 8, 2012

What do *you* think it all means? We're not here to do your homework for you.
posted by rocket88 at 5:30 AM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Look me in the eye and repeat after me.

Or sing it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:40 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

People are a bunch of petty, vicious bastards who desperately throw up an impenetrable wall of shitty throwaway zingers to avoid facing the fact that every last shred of idealism and empathy they ever had in them died, rendering them empty, poisonous mediocrities with absolutely nothing to offer.

For a very first MetaTalk comment, that's pretty snazzy.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:38 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

is it just me, or is the tone on metafilter especially nasty tonight?

Yeah it seemed like there were a bunch of people who were ignoring the H.A.L.T. warning signs and just kept posting here anyhow.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:05 AM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Like Kool-Aid?
-----
Yeah, I only got Jonestown flavour though.

That was Flavor Aid. And yet Kool Aid keeps getting all the awesome publicity.
posted by The Deej at 8:06 AM on May 8, 2012 [6 favorites]

[smashes through rack of servers] OH YEAH
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:24 AM on May 8, 2012 [7 favorites]

*stares at map of NYC on wall, brow furrowed, knuckles on hips*
*places thumbtack in Brooklyn neighborhood of Grandpa Was A Baller*
*places thumbtack in Man Boobs Bay*
*places thumbtack in Don’tWantToHaveSexWithYouVille in midtown*
*places thumbtack in Queens subway station of Why Black Women Are Fat Avenue*
*furrows brow more, drop of sweat dripping down forehead*
*shakes head slowly, sipping day-old coffee*
*suddenly opens eys wide*
"THAT'S IT!"
*draws pentagram connecting thumbtacks*
*draws small flaccid dick and balls in center of pentagram*
posted by Greg Nog at 9:12 AM on May 8, 2012 [14 favorites]

Thanks much Greg, that all makes sense now.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:20 AM on May 8, 2012

And now you know ....the rest of the story.
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 AM on May 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

While we're mentioning man boobs, can I just say that some years ago there was a question posted on AskMetafilter that asked, "Might man boobs ever become bodacious pecs?" and that I more than occasionally repeat that question to myself and then laugh inordinately?
posted by orange swan at 10:02 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I posted the Burroughs link and was a bit surprised that people had the 'this is bad and you should feel bad for posting this isn't Buddhism' reaction.

Also I too have no idea what this MeTa is about.
posted by sweetkid at 11:13 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's for gathering intel and investigating possible Extent Existential Threats. We don't want a rogue Continuity Creeper stalking around the site, un-fixing causality now do we?
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 AM on May 8, 2012

I know haha, but seriously what metanarrative?

weird vague MeTa what is your puzzle?
posted by sweetkid at 11:30 AM on May 8, 2012

>I suppose the only way to win is not to play. Go sit under a tree, feel the sun on your face, the breeze in your hair . . .

I win.
posted by Listener at 11:32 AM on May 8, 2012

sweetkid, I really, really loved that Burroughs link. In fact, it was exactly what I needed to read last night. So thank you for posting it!
posted by lunasol at 11:53 AM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Please note that these are emphatically not rhetorical questions.

Okay, Meatbomb, I'll take your questions seriously.

At least three of those posts are about the whole social-expectations-vs.-self-image thing. I guess you could read the "Grandpa Was a Baller" article in light of that, although I've only skimmed it and I'm not really sure what to make of it. Anyway, there is sort of a metanarrative there about defining your identity for yourself and being comfortable with who you are in the face of social pressures around masculinity, body weight, etc. -- pressures that we experience as identities, self-images, and expectations being forced on us by the culture we're embedded in.

I think it's valid to read those four posts as being thematically related in that way, even though it's just happenstance that they were posted one after the other. I'd even say it's useful to look at how posts on Metafilter relate to one another. Certainly there's a well-defined constellation of ideas and values that emerge from the uncoordinated actions of this community posting and commenting and favoriting; in reading the site and participating in that community, we're constantly exposing ourselves to those values, reevaluating or reinforcing our own views in relation to them (even if we don't always do this in a conscious, reflective way). But the risk in reading into coincidences is that it's super easy to impose your own preconceptions on the "pattern" you think you're seeing, which distorts your connection to reality.

None of this seems like a big deal to me, though. It's the sort of thing that happens all the time in all aspects of daily life, and I doubt these are new ideas to anybody here.

How about you, Meatbomb? What metanarrative are you seeing, and how would you answer your own questions?
posted by twirlip at 12:03 PM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Sorry, I was just emanatizing the eschaton. The neighbors called the cops, so I stopped.
posted by cmoj at 12:53 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I called it over a year ago:

Metafilter: There's sort of a narrative arc here.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:16 PM on May 8, 2012

I agree, Metafilter definitely has a narrative arc going on. Every so often, threads pop up that hit recurring themes.

I am always surprised by how many threads boil down to discussions about Fringe and/or untested psychedelics.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 1:21 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

There is more than one of everything.

similarly:

All this has happened before, and all this will happen again.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 1:41 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

All this has happened before, and all this will happen again.

And the owls are not what they seem.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:45 PM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

LIES
posted by The Owls at 1:56 PM on May 8, 2012 [6 favorites]

Yeah, no conspiracy here; just found a great article on the early NBA via Longform to share. Balls + my username, plus the other posts, made for an interesting lineup on the front page.
posted by porn in the woods at 5:55 PM on May 8, 2012

twirlip, you have a deeper and more mature understanding of the term than I do. What I was seeing wasn't a common theme unifying the threads, but a narrative that somehow connected the posts in sequence, telling a story. I wasn't sure what that story actually was.

Maybe it could be the descent from the Greatest Generation into mediocrity? Or that authenticity and honesty about ourselves in these modern times redefines what it means to be a "real man", or to be a hero?

Don't know, that's why I asked.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:18 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

My log knows what's happening.

But if it knows what's good for it, it'll keep it to itself.
posted by arcticseal at 7:45 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

" ignoring the H.A.L.T. warning signs"

I think HALTED us better - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Ennui-filled, Drunk
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:46 PM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

The deadly social web: Anelosimus eximius, also known as the South American Social Spider, are spiders that work together to repair webs and capture and kill prey much larger than any single spider.

Our planet is inhabited by two distinct kinds of intelligent beings — individual humans and corporate entities — whose natures and interests are intimately linked. To co-exist well, we need to find ways to define the rights and responsibilities of both individual humans and corporate entities, and to find ways to ensure that corporate entities behave as responsible members of society.

Like his legendary Hogg, The Mad Man, and the million-seller Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany’s major new novel Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders

AAAAAGH it's happening again but now it's Arachno-communists taking over the front page AIIIIIGH
posted by gingerest at 6:16 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

WEAVE WITH US FRIEND
posted by The Whelk at 6:46 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]