Here's how my old human relations AskMe ended up turning out.posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 6:28 PM on June 22, 2012 [6 favorites]
I basically did what most people suggested and cut contact -- not hang out with the French couple myself, but not guilt my boyfriend for doing so. I also did not confront the French couple.
-I never ended up speaking to the French girl again since I posted my question. Several months later she added me on Facebook... while in the middle of a European vacation with the ex. Maybe they wanted to giggle over my pics together, but I didn't say anything and just declined it.
-I interacted with the guy twice more. Once he called the house for my boyfriend and pretended not to remember my name... after we'd been living together for two years. The second time, my boyfriend invited him to stay with us for Christmas without telling me. I found out when he walked in as I was wrapping Christmas presents. That was kind of my final straw, and I lost all perspective and maturity. I went into my bedroom and intended to stay there until the guy left. Eventually after a lot of wine, in the wee hours of the morning, my boyfriend realized he hadn't seen me all night. He ended up confronting the French guy that night. The French guy blamed it all on his girlfriend, then left early in the morning before I got up. They are still friends.
-The French girl ended up breaking up with him. She's now back in France where she will stay permanently.
-My boyfriend's ex moved back to her hometown, 1000 miles away from here.
-Unfortunately, as a lot of people pointed out, it turned out that the way this was handled was symptomatic of some deeper, much more serious underlying problems in my relationship with my boyfriend.
I asked this question three years ago: http://ask.metafilter.com/123723/Where-is-this-quotation-from-and-how-am-I-misremembering-itposted by telegraph at 7:03 PM on June 22, 2012 [3 favorites]
Tonight I found the answer!! I wanted to update the thread for posterity but it's closed already. Can a mod still add a comment? Here's the answer if so:
The quotation is from the short story "A Slow Boat to China", and here it is in full:I forced words out: "There are some things about myself I can't explain to anyone. There are some things I don't understand at all. I can't tell what I think about things or what I'm after. I don't know what my strengths are or what I'm supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail, the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared, I can only think about myself. I become really self-centered, and without meaning to, I hurt people. So I'm not such a wonderful human being."
I asked how to deal with a colleague who was publicly shunning me. The advice in that thread helped me stay on the high road. I continued to treat her like I'd treat any other colleague; she continued to act unprofessionally. About six or so months after I posted that question, she was given the choice of resigning or getting laid off. She resigned. I'm still happily working there.posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 6:19 PM on June 24, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:34 PM on June 22, 2012 [8 favorites]