Death to Bike Thieves
September 10, 2012 11:17 PM   Subscribe

MeFi's own bhance got a commendation for his work on the Stolen Bike Registry.
posted by turbodog to MetaFilter-Related at 11:17 PM (35 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Hey! I know that guy!
posted by mrzarquon at 11:19 PM on September 10, 2012


Hey! I've had a bike stolen!
posted by item at 11:26 PM on September 10, 2012


Hey! I don't know that guy! But I like the cut of his jib. Yay!
posted by barnacles at 12:45 AM on September 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


I had a gorgeous brand-new Raleigh road bike stolen 20 years ago. I didn't have the money to buy a new one, either. If I still lived in Houston I'd still be keeping an eye open for it -- very distinctive bike, unusual components.

I'm glad someone else has the idea of "Death To Bike Thieves" just as much as I do.
posted by dancestoblue at 12:48 AM on September 11, 2012


Good for you bhance! Bike thieves are a shit stain on urban life.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:50 AM on September 11, 2012


Hey! I turned bhance onto MetaFilter!
(He also maintains the Mayday Mystery website, for varying values of 'maintain'. )

Good on ya, Hance!
posted by carsonb at 4:58 AM on September 11, 2012


Sometimes mathowie comments on bikeportland.org and it's like two worlds are coming together. Sometimes I forget Metafilter people exist beyond the Internet.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:10 AM on September 11, 2012


>>>I had a gorgeous brand-new Raleigh road bike stolen 20 years ago. I didn't have the money to buy a new one, either. If I still lived in Houston I'd still be keeping an eye open for it -- very distinctive bike, unusual components.

Sorry to break it to you, but if it was stolen in Texas then that bike crossed over into Mexico 19 years 11 months and 29 days ago.
posted by item at 6:53 AM on September 11, 2012


Hey! I know that guy!

Me too! Cool.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:59 AM on September 11, 2012


After I cleaned up my act, I lived in a halfway house in Dallas - a place that cost 8 bucks a night for a small locker, a mat on the floor, and a bowl of beans a day. Other than the clothes on my back and the few possessions in my locker (which for some reason was mainly filled with books - go figure), my only possession was an ugly purple yet really nice 20-year-old Specialized road bike a friend had given me. I had no money for the train/bus (or food), so that bike was my lifeline to finding a job and getting back on my feet. The place wasn't in the best part of town but still the management there wouldn't let me store the thing inside. I only had a mid-range U-lock, not the best protection but all I could muster. I did the best I could to secure it in the most out of view spot I could find.

Within a week, some assholes came along in the middle of the night and cut every single lock on every single bike (and a lawnmower) outside. I'd had bike yanked before that, but because of the situation I was devastated. Later that day, I got a ticket for riding the train without paying. If I'd gotten my skinny little hands on the methheads that jacked my bike, I'd probably end up in prison.

I'm over it now, all is good in my life. But I miss that bike.
posted by item at 7:06 AM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey! That guy is on some website I use!
posted by cmoj at 7:22 AM on September 11, 2012


I don't have anything to add that isn't already covered!
posted by Rodrigo Lamaitre at 7:35 AM on September 11, 2012


I had so many bikes stolen out in Kingston that it wasn't even funny. In Kelowna I had my beautiful, beautiful, and super-handy Ute stolen. From the controlled-access parking garage at work, which was an additional blow. Going the few months without that baby was hard. Bought a new one in 2009, and it's been good so far.

It helps that for a while I was using a 2kg chain and a 0.5kg lock. Only problem with that is when your keys break off in the lock...it's not so easy to get at it. Over Thanksgiving I:
- Called campus security, who promptly gouged out their big 3-foot bolt cutters on the chain
- Bought a handsaw, spent three hours sawing at the lock, made it through maybe 1/3rd of one side before it went dull.
- Bought an angle grinder, went through about 3 of the 4" cut-off disks before finally getting through the goddamn lock.1 Nailed the lock to my wall as a point of pride.

Nowadays I won't rent any place that doesn't have a shed/garage for my bike, it's not worth the hassle. I've carried accordion+music stand+lawn chair, carried a new computer in its box, pushed a sofa, carried suitcases, ironing boards, anything I need. And ridden about 125km on this 40 pound monstrosity. As soon as I get the money next spring I'm buying a kayak and figuring out a way to mount it to the bike so I can ride to the lake.2

Which is a long way of saying, Congratulations! And I am getting the hell out of that Death to Bike Thieves sticker.

1: I was chuffed to get a few visits from Campus Security who reported that they got calls about the "dude trying to steal a bike with a circular saw", but luckily were the same guys from the broken bolt cutters.
2: If I can find a way to mount my bike to the kayak as well I am going to do the weirdest portage trip ever.

posted by Lemurrhea at 7:56 AM on September 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Yay bhance! Come to a damn meetup!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:59 AM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Congrats on some recognition, bhance!
posted by Secretariat at 8:31 AM on September 11, 2012


Yay, bhance! Congratulations on the recognition and many thanks for such a useful project!
posted by Lexica at 9:40 AM on September 11, 2012


yay bhance! I once met him at a bike meetup, not a mefi one, so yeah, world's colliding.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:34 AM on September 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Let's go ride our bikes!
posted by davejay at 10:39 AM on September 11, 2012


The daughter of one of my best friend's just had a Cannondale, which was given to her this summer, stolen from in front of her high school last week. It was her only transportation and my friend is a single mom on a strict budget. I think I am going to try to implement something like this registry here now. Our police force doesn't even look into bike thefts. I use my own beater bike for my transportation in a not so bike friendly city, so I know how awful bike theft is. (Don't get me started on the beautiful black 3 speed Raleigh "English Racer" stolen from me 30 years ago that I still mourn...)

Great idea and congrats on the recognition.
posted by Isadorady at 11:22 AM on September 11, 2012


Yay for advancements in anti-bike theft for bhance!

Just so you know, there is a national bike registry and a way to register your stolen bike there.

I've had no experience with them other than paying $ to register my new darlin', though.
posted by jillithd at 11:51 AM on September 11, 2012


Yay bhance! Come to a damn meetup!

Ironically, I ran into him about an hour after I left Saturday's PDX meetup.
posted by turbodog at 1:03 PM on September 11, 2012


Yay bhance! Come to a damn meetup!

Ironically, I ran into him about an hour after I left Saturday's PDX meetup.


What we're trying to say here cortex is that everyone's hanging out without you. It's super fun.
posted by Aizkolari at 1:46 PM on September 11, 2012


IT'S THE HAIRCUT, ISN'T IT

EVERYBODY'S WEIRDED OUT BY THE HAIRCUT
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:49 PM on September 11, 2012


It's changed you, man.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:55 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Some updates required.
posted by barnacles at 9:38 PM on September 11, 2012


Nobody ever said those photos had to reflect current hair length. In fact, everybody's profile photos are actually incorrect almost all of the time; I'm just aggressively highlighting the issue.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 PM on September 11, 2012


cortex: "Nobody ever said those photos had to reflect current hair length."

Well, not until the Senate finally gets around to passing the Honest and Accurate Informational Representation for Communicating Updates Pictorially act of 2012. Lousy deadbeat senate!!
posted by barnacles at 10:56 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yes, that's right. The HAIRCUP Act. Lousy spelling-deficient deadbeat senate!
posted by barnacles at 11:04 PM on September 11, 2012


Oh Cortex... I named a haird drive after you but since you cut your hair...gonna have to change that name
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:12 PM on September 11, 2012


don't worry Jessamyn, I still have a hard drive named for you
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:13 PM on September 11, 2012


I need to see a photo of the new cortex haircut before I can decide.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:14 AM on September 12, 2012


Current hair status.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:44 AM on September 12, 2012


Hey, I like it! Will I get kicked off of MetaFilter now?
posted by bluedaisy at 11:48 AM on September 12, 2012


Wow. I'm late to the MeTa comment party due to work travel and general life stuff. However, in no particular order:

1) Any mefite who wants a "death to bike thieves" sticker, or perhaps the less severe "I want my @#%$ bike back" sticker, memail me a name and address and I'm happy to send you some.

2) Yes I will come to a meetup. I've pretty much been awol from everything* thanks to work

3) I'd love to tap the mefi talent pool on the SBR in a number of ways if anybody wants to help contribute. (Website redesign and iPhone app, for starters)

4) omg current cortex hair status

* carsonb: mayday included and I'm worried they're going to put out a hit on me or something for not updating MM in months
posted by bhance at 2:28 PM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I know bhance too! He is a cool guy and the bike registry is great and I wholeheartedly support his coming to meetups.

despite appearances to the contrary, I also support my coming to meetups

stupid work what the hell kinds of days off are tuesday and wednesday grumble grumble
posted by maqsarian at 12:17 AM on September 13, 2012


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