Join 3,556 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

RIP Prince_Of_Cups
May 13, 2013 9:46 PM   Subscribe

It is my sad duty to relate some unfortunate news. Matthew Schuler, known here as Prince of Cups, passed away this morning.

I first knew him as [ouroboros] on Everything2. He introduced me and my social circle to some fancy cocktails (especially the Aviation) and will be sorely missed.
posted by mkb to MetaFilter-Related at 9:46 PM (194 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 9:49 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by lukemeister at 9:55 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by Brody's chum at 9:56 PM on May 13, 2013


Matthew's close friends and family are searching for a space for a memorial service. If you have any lines on one in the Portland (Oregon) area, you can MeMail me, or comment here.
posted by mkb at 9:59 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by gingerbeer at 10:01 PM on May 13, 2013


I remember enjoying his comment in the recent Mission Chinese post.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, mkb.

.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:01 PM on May 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Mitheral at 10:15 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by mynameisluka at 10:17 PM on May 13, 2013


.

And Shit, we nerded out over souis vides and fancy cocktails whenever we connected at a meetup.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:17 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:23 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by desuetude at 10:55 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:55 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:59 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by knile at 11:09 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by scody at 11:14 PM on May 13, 2013



posted by Cranberry at 11:21 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by smoke at 11:25 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by goshling at 11:29 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by Jughead at 11:32 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by verbyournouns at 11:41 PM on May 13, 2013


.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:47 PM on May 13, 2013


Crap.. Just saw this on G+ and figured I might also see something about it here. Sure enough. He was one of those people who I wound up meeting through like 3 different avenues at the same time (puzzle hunts, board games, metafilter) and then found out that we had a bunch of other crud in common.

He lived far enough away that I only met him in person a few times, but each time I ended up wishing that Portland and San Francisco were closer. He's a class act and a fun guy, and I'm very sad to learn he's gone.
posted by aubilenon at 12:24 AM on May 14, 2013


Horrible news.

.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 12:34 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by SuzySmith at 1:39 AM on May 14, 2013


I don't know what to say. Matthew was a wonderful cook and amateur bartender, a discriminating critic of many things, and a man who refused to accept poor-quality anything, especially when hosting, as he loved to do. He was loved by many people, and will be deeply, deeply missed by all of us. He was 40. His birthday was April 23rd.

I loved him, and he's dead. I will never, ever, be okay with this fact.

Please, love, please, be at peace.
posted by Kpele at 2:01 AM on May 14, 2013 [24 favorites]


.

Peace to you too, Kpele.
posted by Duke999R at 2:11 AM on May 14, 2013


.

Sorry for your loss, mkb, Kpele, and all those who knew him.
posted by bardophile at 2:33 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by gomichild at 3:06 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by klausness at 3:13 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:38 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:48 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by h00py at 4:08 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by pearlybob at 4:14 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by angrycat at 4:17 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by josher71 at 4:35 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by DingoMutt at 4:41 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Kinbote at 4:44 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:55 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by arcticseal at 5:10 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Harald74 at 5:15 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by dismas at 5:19 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Zonker at 5:19 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by MexicanYenta at 5:20 AM on May 14, 2013


My deepest condolences to those who knew and loved him.
posted by terrapin at 5:20 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:32 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by rtha at 5:32 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by gauche at 5:55 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by jquinby at 6:05 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by sonika at 6:05 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:09 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by travelwithcats at 6:12 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:14 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ignignokt at 6:26 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Jilder at 6:33 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:37 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by The Michael The at 6:57 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by yeoz at 6:58 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by xingcat at 7:04 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by mediareport at 7:05 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Jahaza at 7:06 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:21 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by burnmp3s at 7:27 AM on May 14, 2013


He was a good egg. My condolences.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:31 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Madamina at 7:31 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by bilabial at 7:32 AM on May 14, 2013


Just, shit. I didn't know him super well but he was a Portlander and so part of our comfortable little meetup crowd and it was always nice to see him when he made it out to one. Nice, wry, the best sort of friendly nerd with a keen eye for things. Hard to believe he's gone; we'll miss him.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:35 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by spec80 at 7:38 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by leslies at 7:43 AM on May 14, 2013


Comfort to those who love him. So sad.
posted by batmonkey at 7:44 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by oulipian at 7:52 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by plinth at 8:03 AM on May 14, 2013


We had some fun meetups, and I wish there could have been more. He was a super nice guy with a lot of knowledge to share. I'll miss him. I'm sorry for for your loss, Kpele, mkb, and others who were close to him.
posted by Secretariat at 8:06 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Mister_A at 8:12 AM on May 14, 2013


Oh, this is terrible. I met Matthew several times at meetups over the last two years, and he was great. Really friendly, super sharp, just wonderful to talk to. I was always happy to see him when he made it out.

Kpele: I am so, so sorry. I'm confident I speak for all of us in Portland when I say that if you need anything, to talk, whatever, we're here.
posted by maqsarian at 8:13 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by typewriter at 8:20 AM on May 14, 2013


.

Anyone who introduces the Aviation to a newcomer is a good man indeed.
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:21 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:23 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by donovan at 8:23 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by donnagirl at 8:27 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Gratishades at 8:32 AM on May 14, 2013


I was always happy to see his name in the list of meetup attendees. He will be missed.
posted by mimo at 8:39 AM on May 14, 2013


.

I hope heaven is full of Becherovka and sweet vermouth.
posted by yellowcandy at 8:45 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by Elsa at 8:46 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by bakerina at 8:58 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by motty at 9:11 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Lynsey at 9:16 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ego at 9:20 AM on May 14, 2013


Oh, no. So young. :(

Deep condolences, mkb and kpele.

.
posted by zarq at 9:22 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by snsranch at 9:23 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by stet at 9:31 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by daisyk at 9:32 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by R. Schlock at 9:45 AM on May 14, 2013


Sorry to read this.

.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:45 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by danhon at 9:54 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ottereroticist at 10:07 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by anya32 at 10:23 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:24 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:37 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Shouraku at 10:44 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by blurker at 10:47 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:47 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by mintcake! at 11:06 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by OolooKitty at 11:15 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by purpleclover at 11:30 AM on May 14, 2013


This is so very, very sad. I've had the pleasure of hanging out with him on many occasions. I am in shock. So young.

.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:50 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by needlegrrl at 11:54 AM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:05 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by sgt.serenity at 12:06 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by infini at 12:34 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:34 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by theora55 at 12:37 PM on May 14, 2013


I don't want to be a nagging Nelson, but If you MeFi people could not die so fucking much I would appreciate it.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:43 PM on May 14, 2013 [27 favorites]


.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:48 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:08 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by brundlefly at 1:29 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ChuraChura at 1:49 PM on May 14, 2013


.

We will have an Aviation for you.
posted by Miko at 1:49 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by luckynerd at 1:58 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by sarcasticah at 3:03 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by dg at 3:05 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by trip and a half at 3:07 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by ColdChef at 3:15 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Rock Steady at 3:33 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by foxhat10 at 3:34 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Tsuga at 4:10 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by drezdn at 4:29 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:43 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by scottymac at 6:27 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by IndigoRain at 6:31 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by peeedro at 6:33 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by nickthetourist at 6:58 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by Mngo at 7:34 PM on May 14, 2013


I don't remember how, but we followed each other's bookmarks starting back when del.icio.us was still del.icio.us, so I have this little list of links I saved from his bookmarks - I am glad to have learned about the origins of maraschino cherries, the trade in adulterated olive oil, cardamom coffee in Saudi Arabia, the Jamaican beef patty as NYC street food, the ecological disaster that is dolphin safe tuna. His bookmarks are really good - this library of interesting notes and curiosities. And I am glad I got to hang out with him one day when I was visiting Portland; it was an entirely pleasant experience with the nice odd kind of conversation between people who have been ambient acquaintances for years. I have been thinking all day about a person I barely knew but admired, and I am so, so sorry for people close to him.
posted by dreamyshade at 7:39 PM on May 14, 2013 [21 favorites]


.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:23 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by MissySedai at 9:37 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:37 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by jann at 11:00 PM on May 14, 2013


.
posted by liquorice at 11:41 PM on May 14, 2013


40? Jesus.

.
posted by marienbad at 5:12 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Andrhia at 6:26 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by bibliogrrl at 6:53 AM on May 15, 2013


I don't want to be a nagging Nelson, but If you MeFi people could not die so fucking much I would appreciate it.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:43 PM on May 14 [19 favorites −] [!]



Especially so young. So sorry.
posted by sweetkid at 7:44 AM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Phire at 7:56 AM on May 15, 2013


Matthew's housemate Christen and I will be finalizing memorial arrangements today. The memorial will be held Saturday in Portland, and I will post other details as soon as they're settled. There will also be smaller, more informal gatherings throughout the weekend and possibly forever.

Xen and I agreed that it would be better to share a little more about Matthew's death, because all of us are united in thinking that this is bullshit, and this should not have happened.

I'm just going to copy Xen's words here, because she is a writer and I don't think I could say it better than she has done already.

"In the brief public announcement I made about Matthew Schuler's death yesterday, I did not refer to the manner of death, more for brevity's sake than because we wanted it to be kept secret. I shouldn't be surprised to have received so many questions, given that Matthew was a young man (he had just celebrated his 40th birthday) and in relatively good health. I am sad to say that Matthew found himself overwhelmed by the events of a very stressful year and chose to end his life."

"Matthew could be very difficult, but as hard as he sometimes was on other people, he was always so much harder on himself. In the end he needed the kind of help he would have been more than happy to offer anybody else -- and upset if he couldn't -- but could not stand to seek out on his own. This enrages me and breaks my heart on so many levels, I cannot even tell you. "

Matthew was loved by so many people... SO. MANY. PEOPLE. We have been fucking overwhelmed by offers of help and support and love and grief, and the big problem with the memorial is finding a place that we think will be big enough for everyone who has said they want to be there. Puzzled Pint had a moment of silence for him last night. Local bartenders are organizing ten minutes of silence for Matthew in bars all over Portland Friday. He would have loved that, LOVED it for anyone else, and it is so fucking wrong he isn't here to see all this, all these ways that people are honoring what he brought into their lives, and what they will miss now, forever.

I am so angry, and so heartbroken, and any, all, of the people who are pouring one out for him and thinking of him would have been happy to help him, would have helped him in a hot second, and he sort of knew that intellectually but he didn't know in his deepest heart how much, how many, how completely we all loved him.

Please, please, please, please, all of you here, all of everyone, you are loved, I don't fucking care what you think, you are loved and even if you don't believe it or think you deserve it or whatever the fuck, you are loved. ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED HELP. YOU ARE LOVED AND WE WILL HELP YOU.

(I'm sorry to yell so much, but fuck this bullshit, seriously)
posted by Kpele at 8:29 AM on May 15, 2013 [71 favorites]


Dammit, I forgot to say: if you can't make the Saturday thing and want info on any of the smaller gatherings, MeMail me and I'll get you information.
posted by Kpele at 8:34 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by HandfulOfDust at 8:36 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Jaymzifer at 8:43 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by stoneweaver at 9:14 AM on May 15, 2013


Thank you for the moving comment, kpele. I'm sorry for your loss and pain.

If anyone reading that does think they could use some help, there is a resource on the Wiki called ThereIsHelp with links to AskMe threads, helplines, and other information.
posted by Miko at 9:21 AM on May 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


.
posted by Mooski at 9:21 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Joh at 9:30 AM on May 15, 2013


[ouroboros] was one of my mentors on E2 back in 1999.

.
posted by dmd at 10:02 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by ambrosia at 10:10 AM on May 15, 2013


I didn't know Matthew but Kpele's comment made me wish I had. I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by essexjan at 10:31 AM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:45 AM on May 15, 2013


What essexjan said, perfectly.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 11:00 AM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by nutate at 11:17 AM on May 15, 2013


I only encountered Matthew in the context of parties/visits to their shared house, aka Planet Motherfucker, and always looked forward to seeing him. Because he was the perfect host, I didn't have as many opportunities to sit down and really talk, which I truly regret. Although I am not a cocktail drinker by any stretch of the imagination, Matthew stretched his every time to mix me a drink I might enjoy, and I was always touched by this. He was a thinker and a gentleman. His death was a shock to me. RIP.
posted by cheekycheeky at 11:27 AM on May 15, 2013


I will miss him and his cocktail "prescriptions." Oh, and how he would present every cocktail with a look of expectant glee on his face. There was nobody who liked being gracious and giving his friends tiny gifts more than Matthew. I have been crying whenever I think of the bar at PMF (Matthew's long time home and where I most often saw him). That huge collection of well organized bottles is a testament to his passion, his generosity and his wonderful taste. I can't believe he is gone.

Thank you for your comment, Kpele. I will see you and Christen on Saturday.
posted by sweltering at 11:34 AM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


I did not know prince_of_cups, but every comment in this thread makes me wish I had. I am going to be in Portland next week. It pains me that I cannot ask Matthew himself, but maybe someone else can answer me... where should I go in PDX to order a well-made Aviation and raise a glass to him?
posted by usonian at 12:31 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 12:49 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by spinifex23 at 1:12 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 1:15 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Michele in California at 1:44 PM on May 15, 2013


ugh. heartbreaking.
.
posted by bdave at 2:41 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Iridic at 2:56 PM on May 15, 2013


usonian, his favorite bars in Portland were Teardrop and Rum Club. If you tell me when you're there I'll come drink with you and might bring other friends.
posted by Kpele at 3:17 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by beryllium at 3:59 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by casarkos at 4:19 PM on May 15, 2013


The memorial service for Matthew Schuler will take place from 1 to 4 p.m. this Saturday, May 18, at Sandbox Studios, 420 NE 9th Ave., 97232. The space is huge, so come if you can, we have room for everyone. And pass it on to anyone you know who knew him.
posted by Kpele at 5:27 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


May those of you who knew him find comfort in your memories. I'm sorry for your loss.
posted by NoraCharles at 6:04 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by Ruki at 6:20 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by camyram at 6:36 PM on May 15, 2013


.
posted by holgate at 9:31 PM on May 15, 2013


I enjoyed speaking with him. I enjoyed the handful of cocktails he made for me. I enjoyed running into him on the bus and during our lunch breaks.

I enjoyed hearing what praise others had for him; that was a frequent occurrence.
posted by parhamr at 10:18 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Coaticass at 2:14 AM on May 16, 2013


.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:18 AM on May 16, 2013


.
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:15 AM on May 16, 2013


We're collecting stories, photos, recordings, etc. to help us remember Matthew. Please contribute, share, etc. as you are inclined.

http://rememberingmatthew.com
posted by Kpele at 12:31 PM on May 16, 2013


I had a look at the site Kpele. It's really nice and sorry again about your friend.
posted by sweetkid at 3:01 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't know him, but this is an awesome picture.
posted by en forme de poire at 3:32 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


.

We lose too many good ones….
posted by HeyAllie at 4:24 PM on May 16, 2013


Writeup in today's Oregonian.
posted by geckoinpdx at 4:28 PM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


That's a beautiful writeup -- thanks for posting. Makes me wish even more that I'd known him.
posted by scody at 4:34 PM on May 16, 2013


Damn. :-(

My cousin made a similar decision a couple of weeks ago. You just wish for a chance to argue them out of it.

Let me paraphrase my mother on this (also gone now, through disease though): In most cases, you can't consider that this is some reasoned decision or some well-thought out plan - and you are just wrong as interpreting this as some sort of rejection of you and yours. Suicide is usually a crime of opportunity, and you're better off thinking of it as an accident like a car crash, or a disease like cancer, than some sort of philosophical statement about the world.

.

This article cheered me up a little though.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 4:43 PM on May 16, 2013 [8 favorites]


.
posted by peagood at 5:21 AM on May 17, 2013


.
posted by taff at 1:35 PM on May 17, 2013


.

Matthew was a good friend. He was always kind, and was one of my favorite people to talk to. The world is less for his passing.

Others that may read this: Please do whatever it takes to keep breathing.
posted by pmb at 5:27 PM on May 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by msamye at 12:46 PM on May 18, 2013


.
posted by DreamerFi at 5:06 PM on May 18, 2013


Others that may read this: Please do whatever it takes to keep breathing.

Quoted for truth. And do know that many of us here know what heroic efforts that takes sometimes, and if I or anyone else here can make that any easier at all whatsoever, PLEASE let us help.

And to Matthew's friends, again, my deepest condolences, and I am so sorry.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:09 PM on May 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Many years ago, I had the great pleasure of tending bar at one of Matthew's favorite bars in Portland. He was difficult, and discerning, and very intelligent, and I remember the owner of the bar was jealous that Matthew had the Ouroborous handle on a cocktail related forum.

We always named his checks that. Ouroboros.

I learned the news through facebook, as I live in California now, and am very disconnected from the Portland people I was once entangled with. I remember thinking it had to be wrong. He was too smart, and too kind, and too intelligent, but, but, but. I read in something Kim wrote that he was a Mefite, and I should have known, of course he would be. I come to this place to read the thoughts and ideas of intelligent, thougtful people, and he was certainly one of them. He knew more about the drinks I was serving than I ever did, and yet he was never intimidating, arrogant or rude. Just quietly informative, correct, and thoughtful.

I'm sorry that it's so hard to ask for help. It's a call I had to make once, and it took a year to crawl out of that hole. I'm sorry that no one knew.
I'm so, so sorry for our loss.
.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 1:52 PM on May 20, 2013 [6 favorites]


I never met Matthew but because of this thread I had an Aviation last night for the first time ever, and then a second. Delightful.
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:01 PM on May 24, 2013


We had a pitcher of them the other day at a meetup, with a little toast for Matthew. I'm kind of a trainwreck with mixing when I go off on my own, but following his recipe as best as I could it made for a very nice drink.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:07 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


« Older 100/day just isn't enough anym...  |  I'm hoping this gets back to m... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments