Success... I celebrate any that I can

May 14, 2013 9:10 AM

I'm hoping this gets back to mrgrowler, he expressed interest in a solution. When I asked this question, I had an idea that the culprit might be my blood pressure medicine. But I was exploring other options. The doctor even sent me to drink barium. The radiologist gave me half of a tip, he said that I was having spasms. I finally got desperate enough to talk to my doctor about changing meds. I haven't had an episode since.
posted by notned to MetaFilter-Related at 9:10 AM (60 comments total)

Yay!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:22 AM on May 14, 2013

I'm hoping this gets back to mrgrowler, he expressed interest in a solution.

Send him a MeMail!
posted by mokin at 9:41 AM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

No! Choose a more circuitous method!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:56 AM on May 14, 2013 [25 favorites]

I recommend a window! And shouting!
posted by davejay at 9:57 AM on May 14, 2013 [5 favorites]

That window, but at night with a flashlight and morse code!
posted by phunniemee at 10:02 AM on May 14, 2013 [8 favorites]

"The Man Who Shouted Teresa" by Italo Calvino.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 10:05 AM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

I'm glad you drank my relative and not me! :)
posted by beryllium at 10:11 AM on May 14, 2013 [6 favorites]

Julius Caesar on an Aldis Lamp
posted by scody at 10:19 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

> I'm glad you drank my relative and not me! :)

What, you don't like being drunk?
posted by languagehat at 10:24 AM on May 14, 2013 [10 favorites]

Beryllium salt solutions are reputedly very sweet but astonishingly toxic, 'hat.
posted by scruss at 10:41 AM on May 14, 2013

Psst! Mrgroweler! Notned told me to tell you that that thing was from his blood pressure medication!
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:50 AM on May 14, 2013

Metroid Baby: "Psst! Mrgroweler! Notned told me to tell you that that thing was from his blood pressure medication!"

[telephone game, time passes]

Hiss Lister Flower, snotbedmoldy futon ring from KISS flood Escher federation.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:56 AM on May 14, 2013 [8 favorites]

If notned, then who? All people who have GERD, acid reflex, etc: Try eating a little carton of Activia every day. It really helps solve these nasty and persistent problems.
Tip: Vanilla Activia is repulsive. It tastes and smells like artificial vanilla. Get the other flavors.
posted by Cranberry at 11:00 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Send all your Vanilla Activia to me. Yes, it tastes like you'd imagine a cheap vanilla candle would taste. But that's a feature not a bug!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:07 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

I dont know that shipping cartons of activia in the mail is such a super idea, buddy.
posted by Mister_A at 11:14 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

If anything the best place to ship them would be tumblr. CARTON 533-B AND CARTON 1287-F, BFF, OTP.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:21 AM on May 14, 2013 [8 favorites]

Mister_A: "I dont know that shipping cartons of activia in the mail is such a super idea, buddy."

You thought it made you poop before.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:23 AM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

*fills envelope with vanilla Activia, mails to MCMikeNamara*

*gets nasty note from Postmaster*
posted by Cranberry at 11:44 AM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

Is there a cranberry Activia?
posted by Mister_A at 11:57 AM on May 14, 2013

There should be cranberry Activia. I also should have stock in the company since I frequently recommend it. Hmm, maybe I'll contact Ocean Spray too.
posted by Cranberry at 12:02 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Make it happen!
posted by Mister_A at 12:03 PM on May 14, 2013

Activia Blue(berry is also a good flavor)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:22 PM on May 14, 2013

Terrible adventures in going home to visit the parents: mistaking peach Activia for yogurt.
posted by phunniemee at 12:29 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

I recommend a bathroom! And shouting!
posted by davejay at 1:01 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

MetaTalk: Brought to you by that girl yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis uses to poop.
posted by elsietheeel at 1:15 PM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

All people who have GERD, acid reflex, etc: Try eating a little carton of Activia every day. It really helps solve these nasty and persistent problems.

I have long standing acid reflux and eating yoghurt regularly, including Activia, does nothing, Which makes scientific sense. The one thing that really does help, consistently and no matter what else I do, is taking my medication (in my case I don't tolerate PPIs so take H2RAs, but both work for my reflux fortunately). Of course avoiding my food triggers is also helpful but yoghurt isn't involved there either.
posted by shelleycat at 1:46 PM on May 14, 2013

A well placed hyphen would have helped me parse that tagline.
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

But a misplaced one is more fun... like a "girl yogurt-Jamie Lee Curtis" could be the sequel to The Stuff in an alternate universe where the original was more successful and Halloween was not.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:50 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have tried a colony of parrots to repeat the advice you have given. Soon, I will let them free into the wild and have them teach others the words, by God's grace, they should reach mrgrowler wherever he is.
posted by The Whelk at 1:59 PM on May 14, 2013 [6 favorites]

You are doing this all wrong.

Semaphore at night. It is the best way.
posted by cmyk at 2:13 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

i r a editer
posted by elsietheeel at 2:23 PM on May 14, 2013

> Beryllium salt solutions are reputedly very sweet but astonishingly toxic, 'hat.

I wasn't talking to potential drinkers of beryllium, I was talking to beryllium. And asking beryllium why beryllium doesn't want to get drunk.
posted by languagehat at 2:54 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Can you explain that joke more circuitously?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:08 PM on May 14, 2013

It's elementally dry, my word hat son.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 3:28 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Beryllium salt solutions are reputedly very sweet but astonishingly toxic, 'hat.

I wasn't talking to potential drinkers of beryllium, I was talking to beryllium. And asking beryllium why beryllium doesn't want to get drunk.

Languagehat's joke was perfect, y u take so literally and miss point?
posted by sweetkid at 3:33 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

How much drunk would a wooddrunk drunk, if a wooddrunk could drunk... beryllium?
posted by scody at 3:35 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Be drunk 4
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 3:37 PM on May 14, 2013

> I was talking to beryllium. And asking beryllium why beryllium doesn't want to get drunk.

Languagehat's joke was perfect, y u take so literally and miss point?


I guess I just don't like that aggressive passive humor. I don't consider it participle discourse.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:46 PM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

Well, if you can't helium or curium....
posted by lazaruslong at 5:37 PM on May 14, 2013

Of course beryllium doesn't want to get drunk - it's all there in the Hitchhiker's Guide.
posted by winna at 5:53 PM on May 14, 2013

I actually did a barium swallow last week. Surprisingly the worst part wasn't the barium itself, but the sodium bicarbonate solution they make you drink (DON'T BURP!) before the barium.

And unflavored barium is not as bad as strawberry barium.

Diagnosis: Hiatal hernia causing reflux.
Treatment: PPIs probably for life and don't eat or drink anything you enjoy.
posted by elsietheeel at 6:17 PM on May 14, 2013

Glad you're feeling better, notned.
posted by arcticseal at 6:28 PM on May 14, 2013

Beryllium?! I hardly... um.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:30 PM on May 14, 2013 [5 favorites]

Dear Reader, I Samarium.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:36 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

And unflavored barium is not as bad as strawberry barium.

Strawberium!
posted by davejay at 8:46 PM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

A friend's wife sat next to Jamie Lee Curtis on a flight a few years ago. Luckily it was a short trip, because the entire time she had to battle the urge to sing, "Ac-ti-vi-AH!," which she didn't think would go over that well.
posted by katemonster at 8:49 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

I actually did a barium swallow last week.

I was going to make an "African or European?" joke here, but instead I'm going to wish that things go well with your reflux treatment.
posted by zamboni at 8:58 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

I actually did a barium swallow last week. Surprisingly the worst part wasn't the barium itself, but the sodium bicarbonate solution they make you drink (DON'T BURP!) before the barium.

For me the worst part was the subsequent week of constipation where all of my poops were ghost white little deer poops the size and shape of marbles. TMI, probably, but this is the shiz the doctors don't tell you about.

Attention all doctors and future doctors of MetaFilter: if something's gonna fuck with my poops, please disclose. Thank you.
posted by phunniemee at 9:16 PM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

They were kind enough to warn me about that part. But I'm chronically anemic so my experience with hardcore iron supplementation prepared me and I had solution ready.

I call it the Cybill Shepherd--4 ounces prune juice, 4 ounces pineapple juice, and 2 tablespoons of polyethelyne glycol.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:36 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

How much drunk would a wooddrunk drunk, if a wooddrunk could drunk... beryllium?

Tilda Swinton can speak to woodchucks and knows of the sweetness of beryllium, friend.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:42 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

We have our annual health checks coming up. All teachers have to get chest x-rays and other tests. As a bonus, if you're 35, or 40 and over, you also have to drink the berium. Mind you, this is done at school, on school days, with normal classes. Of course, you're not allowed to eat beforehand, so everyone wants to get it done with in the morning. This translates into older teachers staggering into classes, trying to do battle with the barium, and the barium, it just wants to be free.

There are a lot of miserable teachers over the health check time. Luckily, I won't be forty for another couple years.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:45 PM on May 14, 2013

I happily ate Activia until the one day I tried an organic, full fat yogurt. I tried Activia again and nearly gagged. I can never go back. Cream top all the way!
posted by HMSSM at 11:49 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

How many bars of gold-pressed latinum would it cost to buy 1 oz of Strawberium?
posted by marienbad at 5:17 AM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

I happily ate Activia until the one day I tried an organic, full fat yogurt. I tried Activia again and nearly gagged. I can never go back. Cream top all the way!

My partner and I used to fake-fight over who got to finish our kids' Yobaby when they were small.
posted by not that girl at 6:12 AM on May 15, 2013

Hmm, maybe I'll contact Ocean Spray too.

Ironically you can do that through me. My family is a supplier.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:17 AM on May 15, 2013

YoBaby is really good! I recommend the beryllium flavor.
posted by Mister_A at 9:24 AM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Note: barium sulfate, the compound used for GI tract imaging, is only non-toxic because it's quite insoluble; more soluble barium compounds are toxic. It is also worth noting beryllium poisoning is usually acquired by inhalation rather than ingestion, but I would still strongly suggest not trying that beryllium yogurt.
posted by beryllium at 10:05 AM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

I have long standing acid reflux and eating yoghurt regularly, including Activia, does nothing, Which makes scientific sense.

But it is the shit for yeast infections!
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:12 AM on May 15, 2013

Activia: Now With More Osmium Tetroxide!
posted by Mister_A at 2:39 PM on May 15, 2013

This thread really helped me with guess my word today.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]