Tags:

"Lavaballing" thread sexist and dissenting comments deleted
June 20, 2013 10:21 AM   Subscribe

The lavaballing thread is man-hating and sexist and comments pointing this out are deleted. There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health. If I posted an essay that contained "women cross their legs when they sit, what bitches amirite?" it would get deleted and rightly so. What is the process for deleting a post as sexist?
posted by ishrinkmajeans to Etiquette/Policy at 10:21 AM (64 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

It's a good essay and a good post. Not man-hating.
posted by Mngo at 10:23 AM on June 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


Which of the comments do you feel are sexist? Or is it the essay itself you find sexist?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:24 AM on June 20, 2013


As a human being who has testicles, I totally understand the desire to sit with legs splayed, particularly on a hot day. You know what? That doesn't give me a right to anyone else's personal space. Spreading your legs beyond the width of your seat is, at a minimum, rude.

I would have said it was going a bit far to call it out as an exemplar of male privilege, until I saw this Metatalk post, that is.
posted by 256 at 10:28 AM on June 20, 2013 [46 favorites]


The author was bullied by men (which is horrible) but then decides to deride how men sit on the subway (splay legged to protect their testicles from overheating) is a grounds for derision. It would be like if I had a bad break up with my girlfriend and then claim "all women are hysterical". I don't need made up terms for the way I sit being bandied about when I have to because my gender requires it. I'm tired of being called a monster because I'm a guy.
posted by ishrinkmajeans at 10:28 AM on June 20, 2013


The thread.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yeah, I'm not seeing where this is man hating and sexist. Maybe you can point out some relevant examples?
posted by iamabot at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2013


It would be like if I had a bad break up with my girlfriend and then claim "all women are hysterical".

No, it's actually not like that at all.

I'm tired of being called a monster because I'm a guy.

Can you point to these repeated comments that have explicitly called you a "monster" on account of your gender?
posted by scody at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2013 [30 favorites]


For the record, the deleted comments were pretty viciously worded.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 10:30 AM on June 20, 2013


It would be like if I had a bad break up with my girlfriend and then claim "all women are hysterical".

No it wouldn't...that's not even close to an accurate analogy.
posted by iamabot at 10:30 AM on June 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, if your testicles are such infernos, maybe you should stop shrinking your jeans.
posted by 256 at 10:30 AM on June 20, 2013 [297 favorites]


I have to say, this meta is eponysterical.
posted by alms at 10:30 AM on June 20, 2013 [23 favorites]


STAND.
posted by blue t-shirt at 10:31 AM on June 20, 2013 [9 favorites]


Nothing about your gender requires you to sit like that. It seems that in your rush to create yet another MetaTalk thread all about you, you did not notice that there were men commenting in that thread about how much they hate it when inconsiderate assholes sit with their legs splayed out and encroach on their space.
posted by palomar at 10:32 AM on June 20, 2013 [56 favorites]


I flagged your comment, which was a complaint about how the term "lavaballing" was juvenile. Your gender doesn't require you to sit next to a woman in order to air your testicles. You could, for instance, stand. Or find an aisle seat. Or find a seat that's not next to another rider. I think you misunderstand the complaint of lavaballing. Nobody's calling you a monster.
posted by boo_radley at 10:32 AM on June 20, 2013 [8 favorites]


I'm tired of being called a monster because I'm a guy.

Seriously, nothing in that thread nor in the essay says this.
posted by jetlagaddict at 10:34 AM on June 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


Can we just cut to the chase? This is another example of tone deaf commentary on your part, and what is turning in to a pretty repetitive and flagrant clamor from attention from the community. Stuff the false outrage already.
posted by iamabot at 10:35 AM on June 20, 2013 [91 favorites]


I can only favorite this once.
posted by Mister_A at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


Also, if your testicles are such infernos, maybe you should stop shrinking your jeans.

Oh, snap. It's my bad, but for some reason, this Meta's poster's username drives me crazy. The ongoing attendant mishegoss just gilds the lily.
posted by thinkpiece at 10:37 AM on June 20, 2013


Lewis's Law: "Comments on any article about feminism justify feminism."
posted by mcwetboy at 10:38 AM on June 20, 2013 [153 favorites]


Basically, see nawadi's comment,
nadawi: " we've been hearing about your balls since you first discovered them. there is not a woman over the age of 12 that isn't acutely aware of how tender, cumbersome, and funny your nuts are to you. it does sometimes take us a while to learn that your sore jibblies aren't our problem."
Air out your groin however you can, but try not to encroach on people. Your testicles shouldn't get you into other people's space, no more than my back injury and arthritis should allow me to drape myself over two or three adjacent seats.
posted by boo_radley at 10:39 AM on June 20, 2013 [10 favorites]


Y'know, if you're upset about your stuff getting deleted, and someone else's stuff not getting deleted, then your beef is with the mods. There's a "Contact" link, in the bottom right corner of the page, that you can use to bring your concerns to them without waving your ignorance in public like this.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 10:40 AM on June 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


This post is definitely like a dude sitting with his legs spread out far more necessary than required for the safety and comfort of his testicles. Stop rubbing up against the site so much, dude.
posted by planetesimal at 10:40 AM on June 20, 2013 [52 favorites]


The process for getting a thread deleted for being sexist starts with it actually being sexist. You should hold out next time until that happens.
posted by donnagirl at 10:41 AM on June 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


Can we please close this up, already?
posted by rocketman at 10:42 AM on June 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


An ishrinkmajeans post and a Tanizaki post on MeTa in one day? I had to double-check to make sure it wasn't Friday.
posted by mokin at 10:45 AM on June 20, 2013 [16 favorites]


I'm tired of being called a monster because I'm a guy.

You're not a monster because you're a guy, you're a monster (I KID, I KID... you're THE ROOT CAUSE OF SOME MINOR ISSUES) because you've been a member of a much-loved, super-diverse, phenomenally-wise, excellently-moderated community for a little over a month and you've already acquired a reputation as a trouble-fomenting, knee-jerk-contrary... I don't even know what. What IS this behavior? No, really: not rhetorical. Why'd you spend the five bucks to join if you weren't, 1. Aware of how this place works, and 2. Willing to work within the existing framework?
posted by julthumbscrew at 10:46 AM on June 20, 2013 [37 favorites]


What is the text-based equivalent for the guy that sucks all the air out of the room? Whatever it is, you are that. After your last MetaTalk performance piece, I am not sure why anyone even attempts to engage earnestly with you, since you have yet to reciprocate.
posted by Falconetti at 10:48 AM on June 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


Dude said the 'B' word.
posted by Mister_A at 10:50 AM on June 20, 2013


PITCHFORKS! GET YOUR PITCHFORKS RIGHT HERE! $20 SAME AS IN TOWN!
posted by Big_B at 10:50 AM on June 20, 2013 [11 favorites]


What IS this behavior?

Participation-grade trolling, which is something that--sad trombone and rimshot here--"dealing with" is one of the weaknesses of moderation policies of this site.
posted by Drastic at 10:50 AM on June 20, 2013 [6 favorites]


Have you tried reddit? You can rail against the evils of feminazis all you'd like there and reap a healthy karma crop for it. This site doesn't seem to suit you.
posted by Sangermaine at 10:51 AM on June 20, 2013 [33 favorites]


I'm a dude, I read the article and the thread, and I totally don't feel attacked. Then again my knees never spread beyond my shoulders when I am sitting in public spaces. Maybe my balls are not as hot as those (presumably) being sported by ishrinkmajeans; I have no way of objectively knowing this information. I'm totally open to any suggestions from ishrinkmajeans on how we can establish how hot my balls are compared to his, though.
posted by Sternmeyer at 10:53 AM on June 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm not trying to be mean, honest. Nor do I have any opinion whatsoever on the various topics on which ishrinkmajeans has opined. I just feel a civic duty to point out to the dude, "Yo, are you aware that the way in which you're acting could be construed as obnoxious by most reasonable persons?"

A friend of mine once dated a woman who acted in a similar manner. The tone or topic or direction of conversation didn't matter... she'd always find a way to lob a vocal cow-patty of "YOU ARE ALL WRONG!!!!" into the dialogue. I just... don't... get it.
posted by julthumbscrew at 10:53 AM on June 20, 2013


I Am Tired Of Being Called A Monster Because Of My Hot Testicles

and then on the back of the shirt the little [!] symbol
posted by Greg Nog at 10:54 AM on June 20, 2013 [102 favorites]


a) This site isn't for you, ishrankmajeans.
b) You should be ashamed that you can't fit in here, because it's the gigantic lavaentitlement you've got in your crotch which is upsetting everyone.
posted by ambrosen at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


Don't bother playing the contrarian in threads like these. That ship has sailed on MetaFilter a loooong time ago. Your comments get deleted on the Blue and you get tarred and feathered on the Grey.

Instead, take a break, skip the thread. Consider how unimportant this online thing is in the grand scheme of things, how there's probably something or someone in your life that deserve heaps of positive attention today.

Leave the subway ball analysis to the professionals.
posted by phaedon at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hey Sternmeyer, your balls are plenty hot.
posted by Mister_A at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


MONSTER
posted by scody at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Whoa, whoa, whoa... minor flash of insight: 1. Rails against perceived systematic misandry, and, 2. Cannot control the flow of crotchety, argument-bait-y statements emerging from his fingertips...

... is Scott Adams back?! Doesn't he have a burrito restaurant to run?...
posted by julthumbscrew at 11:00 AM on June 20, 2013 [6 favorites]


What is the process for deleting a post as sexist?

Flag it and move on.

If you're feeling especially motivated, you can use the contact form to write a nice note to the mods expressing your dismay at the sexism on display. And move on.

Moving on is hard. It really is. It's tough to just let something be a way that you don't want it to be. But it gets easier with practice. What I find that helps is to remember that most of the things I encounter, most of the behavior I see, most of the interactions that I'm a part of, even most of the conversations I'm participating in, really aren't about me. That helps.

What else helps is knowing that I don't have to, and indeed I can't, fix or change very much at all in this world. I can't really fix or change metafilter, because there are all these other people here. I can't fix or change my workplace for the same reason. My town. My country. Even my marriage, I'm only fifty percent of the people in my marriage, so there's only so much I could do to fix or change it. I can fix or change myself, though. That's something I can do.

And, knowing that, I can start to move on from the things I see in my job, my town, my country, that I think are wrong. I can change myself. I can leave. And I can put up with things as they are. That's really all I can do.
posted by gauche at 11:00 AM on June 20, 2013 [14 favorites]


There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health.

Hi, dude here. This is not true of all, or even most, men.

Also, it's in pretty poor taste to throw around hyperbolic accusations without at least providing examples.

HTH
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:01 AM on June 20, 2013 [17 favorites]


The legs spread on the subway conversation already happened in MeTa before.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:02 AM on June 20, 2013


My new line of lightweight dude underwear is 60% corn starch and 40% privilege. Look for it in Sears next month.
posted by mintcake! at 11:02 AM on June 20, 2013 [10 favorites]


If your balls are THAT big, you should just carry 'em over your shoulder like a continental soldier.
posted by Mister_A at 11:02 AM on June 20, 2013 [62 favorites]


It's pretty clear ishrinkmyjeans is deliberately fucking with us at this point.

I don't think I'd mind at all if the moderators told him to fuck the fuck off back to r/MensRights/. (Not that the moderators would do such a thing, because they are kindly to a fault).

An ishrinkmajeans post and a Tanizaki post on MeTa in one day?

Bingo!
posted by jack_mo at 11:03 AM on June 20, 2013 [8 favorites]


Also, I see the new feature of "My request requires community input and cannot be addressed by contacting MetaFilter staff" may not be as effective as hoped.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:04 AM on June 20, 2013 [21 favorites]


but then decides to deride how men sit on the subway (splay legged to protect their testicles from overheating) is a grounds for derision.

No, your cluelessness on the essay and thread is grounds for derision
posted by caddis at 11:04 AM on June 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think the tone and content of Tanizaki's post is really quite different from this post, and don't think it's particularly fair to compare them.
posted by scody at 11:04 AM on June 20, 2013 [51 favorites]


An ishrinkmajeans post and a Tanizaki post on MeTa in one day?

Tanizaki's post is good, though.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2013 [15 favorites]


I'm all for comfort, but it does get tiresome running into young men's knees on the bus every day.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2013


Jinx!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2013


I agree, scody; the Tanizaki post is a reasonable conversation, though I disagree with his position.
posted by Mister_A at 11:06 AM on June 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


What is the process for deleting a post as sexist?

You can press Alt+F4 to delete every post on your browser screen, actually! Just shrink the window down to just the one if you don't feel like nuking everything in sight. Glad I could be of service! :)
posted by invitapriore at 11:08 AM on June 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


reddit.com/r/mensrights
posted by easy, lucky, free at 11:08 AM on June 20, 2013


On a more positive note, I have that Willow Smith song stuck in my head again.

I shrink ma jeans back and forth I shrink ma jeans back and forth I shrink ma jeans back and forth...
posted by jack_mo at 11:10 AM on June 20, 2013 [8 favorites]


The lavaballing thread is man-hating and sexist and comments pointing this out are deleted.

Posting something on MetaFilter is not the same thing as the poster endorsing that thing. It's certainly not the same as mathowie or MetaFilter endorsing that thing.

I don't see a notice that any comments were deleted, but a garden-variety "the linked essay is sexist and has no place being discussed on MetaFilter", which is what you indicate that you wrote, would I believe be deleted as a matter of course because the discussion of what's appropriate on MetaFilter belongs here, in MetaTalk, and not on MetaFilter.
posted by gauche at 11:11 AM on June 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health
by ishrinkmajeans
Maybe you need to stop shrinking those jeans.
posted by k5.user at 11:11 AM on June 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health.

I was on the bus yesterday and did not notice any men who were sitting this way. They guy who sat next to me - shopping bags and all - did not sit this way. Am I to assume they must not have had balls? Or should I instead assume that they were acting the way people should act in public spaces, which is to not encroach upon the space of other people?
posted by rtha at 11:13 AM on June 20, 2013 [15 favorites]


I don't need made up terms for the way I sit being bandied about when I have to because my gender requires it. I'm tired of being called a monster because I'm a guy.

I'd also like to add that your gender does not "require" you to splay your legs across 3 seats, and no one has called you a monster.

If you want some kind of real, actual, honest community discussion, try a reality-based approach and avoid needless, dramatic exaggeration. If you just wanted a spot to vent about "misandry", there's always Tumblr.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:13 AM on June 20, 2013 [9 favorites]


There are NO reasons men have to sit splay legged for physical health. Overheating is a red herring, just an excuse. Most guys do this just to claim more real estate, nothing more; they think it makes them look cool etc. even when there is no one sitting next to them. When someone is, it is also aggression.
posted by caddis at 11:15 AM on June 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


It's completely orthogonal, in addition to River-Jordan-wide overshare, but as a teenager I was unfortunate enough to have more than one hydrocele. As a result of this, both now and especially -hoooo boy especially - then, I can clearly assert that my nuts are larger than average.

I can, I'm happy to report, sit with my legs crossed very tightly with no discomfort, never put them wider then my shoulders, and have produced a child with my searing hot, magma-like sperm.

I have even, on occasion, tucked the whole business right far to the back, and in falsetto called to my long-suffering partner that I am a "pretty young girl".

Ball size is not really such a huge factor.
posted by smoke at 11:17 AM on June 20, 2013 [68 favorites]


I say this with all due respect (and I do mean, 'all due respect') but ishrinkmyjeans you are a terrible troll.

By which I mean you are terrible at being a troll. You have no finesse, no style.

If you're going to troll properly you can't be so flagrant about it: try some subterfuge. Rather than Saruman, the crafty wizard who ingratiated himself to the wizened Gandalf in order to gain control over a sizable portion of Middle Earth, you instead are more like the berserker from The Two Towers, diving headlong into the walls of Helms Deep only to get yourself blowed up. Only instead of destroying the walls and clearing the way for your orcish brethren you just get blowed up.

My father always told me 'you always have time to do something right.' If you're going to troll, take the time to do it the right way. Here are some tips:

- Learn about the objects of your trolldom. If you can better understand where they are coming from you will be better suited to get into their heads.
- Read far and wide. 'There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health' might have a grain of truth to it somewhere and if you can find some evidence, even better! The truth, however slight, is the troll's greatest weapon!
- Know when to talk and know when to listen. If you're always dogmatic and persistent in your views the community will know when you're up to your trollery. I suggest that you listen and only speak when you have something of value to add to the conversation.

These are the first few steps, certainly - but they're a good place to start.
posted by Tevin at 11:17 AM on June 20, 2013 [22 favorites]


There are reasons why men need to sit splay legged for their physical health.

Bullshit. Get over your precious bollocks. Plenty of other men seem to have managed to.
posted by Decani at 11:17 AM on June 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


Well, I think this thread has run its useful course. People are debating thread subject matter in this thread too, the original poster is no where to be seen and this whole thing looks a bit of a mess.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:18 AM on June 20, 2013 [17 favorites]


« Older Cribcage hit the nail on the h...  |  The obesity-as-disease thread ... Newer »

This thread is closed to new comments.