I think I'll go and eat worms December 9, 2013 9:59 PM   Subscribe

It was my 10th birthday yesterday and no one remembered. No cake, no presents, no birthday post, not even a memail.
Ask MetaFilter.
posted by unliteral to MetaFilter-Related at 9:59 PM (121 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

This question is textbook chatfilter.
posted by mannequito at 10:02 PM on December 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


Hey neat!
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:04 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


What is the color that folks are complaining about near the top of the thread?

Hopefully not the ever-tasteful deep green?
posted by Sara C. at 10:22 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


FWIW Ask Metafilter Green is one of my favorite colors.

Seriousl
posted by Sara C. at 10:22 PM on December 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Happy belated birthday, cuz.
posted by Meta Filter at 10:24 PM on December 9, 2013 [18 favorites]


Can I eat this cake?
posted by The Whelk at 10:39 PM on December 9, 2013 [18 favorites]


I have a piece of cake from the first AskMe birthday. It's been sitting on the counter since then, though the temperature never gets about 100 degrees in our house. It hasn't yet achieved sentience, though it seems to respond to certain stimuli. Ethically speaking, is it okay to eat this?
posted by Ghidorah at 10:41 PM on December 9, 2013 [36 favorites]


Wow. I've been answering there since day two and it still kind of feels like a relatively new part of the site to me.
posted by zsazsa at 10:42 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


DTMFA
posted by the quidnunc kid at 11:29 PM on December 9, 2013 [19 favorites]


How do these people got their cats wedged into their scanners, and why?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:32 PM on December 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Isn't that always THE QUESTION?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:32 PM on December 9, 2013


"I think today we'll see a lot of questions and then they'll eventually peter out."
posted by MadamM at 12:04 AM on December 10, 2013 [24 favorites]


Ask Metafilter started in Dec. 2003?? I can't believe I continued to lurk till 2007. How did I manage to quash my advice-giving impulses for that long?
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:19 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Look at the calendar! Who has time for cake on December 10? So much shopping to do!
posted by crapmatic at 12:20 AM on December 10, 2013


♫Happy Birthday to you ♥ AskMetafilter, and many more.♫
posted by Cranberry at 12:28 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait was there a time without AskMetafilter? What did people DO?
posted by Namlit at 1:10 AM on December 10, 2013 [9 favorites]



One thought I had about this is that it might generate more AdSense revenue than MetaFilter. People at MeFi just want to chat, but the discussions ... will be more easily tied to products
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:53 AM on December 9, 2003


Heh.
posted by spitbull at 1:16 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Suck it, Frenchy.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 1:40 AM on December 10, 2013


It ain't easy being green.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:20 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


That's awful. Have you tried therapy?
posted by Decani at 3:55 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


This sounds like one of those Ask vs. Guess Culture kinds of things. DTMFA and seek therapy.
posted by NoraCharles at 4:17 AM on December 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


Holy crap. Look at all the obsolete user names in that old thread.
posted by pracowity at 4:33 AM on December 10, 2013


Damn, I always forget about Ask. I feel like I should read it more but it's all full of people with problems.
posted by octothorpe at 5:03 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have a piece of cake from the first AskMe birthday. It's been sitting on the counter since then, though the temperature never gets about 100 degrees in our house. It hasn't yet achieved sentience, though it seems to respond to certain stimuli. Ethically speaking, is it okay to eat this?
posted by Ghidorah


Perfectly fine. Just make sure you declaw and circumcise it first, and DTMFA afterwards.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:07 AM on December 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


This is a question for a competent lawyer in your jurisdiction. Also, that sounds like a red-winged blackbird.
posted by jquinby at 5:21 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think today we'll see a lot of questions and then they'll eventually peter out.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:35 PM on December 8, 2003.

More innocent days.
posted by penguin pie at 5:31 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
posted by tilde at 5:33 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I am a birthday well-wisher, but I Am Not Your Birthday Well-Wisher (IANYBWW).

Actually, now that I think of it, I kind of am (IKOAYBWW).
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:34 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


The birthdays only get worse and worse, kid.
posted by JanetLand at 5:37 AM on December 10, 2013


TEN YEARS


where did the time go...
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:40 AM on December 10, 2013


Not here, I assure you
posted by Namlit at 5:41 AM on December 10, 2013


Does the cake have teeth?
posted by Artw at 5:47 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Only 6 more years until Ask Metafilter wants the keys to Mathowie's car.
posted by COD at 5:47 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


I wonder how that Anonymous person turned out.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 6:02 AM on December 10, 2013 [21 favorites]


almost eponysterical
posted by Namlit at 6:04 AM on December 10, 2013


What do you get a gateway drug that has everything?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:06 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


You know, whether they ever got the dog.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 6:06 AM on December 10, 2013


And here I'd just assumed it had been around forever.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 6:09 AM on December 10, 2013


Has AskeMe checked the mailbox? I bet there is a banjo from anonymous there....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:09 AM on December 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


Great. Can we get rid of it now?
posted by Wolfdog at 6:10 AM on December 10, 2013


IAAWWITIMYNSH

(I am a well-wisher in that I mean you no specific harm)
posted by Ghidorah at 6:11 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


my first ask metafilter response was about a cookbook (which is awesome, because i lost that cookbook and couldn't remember which one it was. i love when past me answers my questions). i was surprised to see that i wasn't participating over there until 2005. so i dug around a bit more and discovered that i weirdly (and for seemingly no reason) left the site in oct 2003 and didn't come back until july of 2005 - or at least didn't comment again until then. and it still took me another few months to find ask metafilter.

anyway, happy birthday!
posted by nadawi at 6:32 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I left the AskMe cake out all night. Can I eat it?
posted by 4ster at 6:38 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Was it raining?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:46 AM on December 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'd eat it. You'll never have that recipe again.
posted by pemberkins at 6:48 AM on December 10, 2013 [13 favorites]


Interesting - my first AskMe answer was also my first "Best Answer". I still find the product on offer a little small, but recently bought my own wheels to DIY up the larger style metal carts popular around here.
posted by tilde at 7:00 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: I still find the product on offer a little small
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:03 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter: recently bought my own wheels.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:16 AM on December 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


MetaFilter: Popular around here
posted by Rock Steady at 7:18 AM on December 10, 2013


Did you ask MetaTalk for a pony?
posted by cooker girl at 7:18 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am a lawyer, but I am not your lawyer, unless you have retained me and are reading this, in which case, this "post" still can not be construed as legal advice (without further billing according to section 1 of our Retainer Agreement), so this won't hold up in court and I haven't even researched this as fully as if you were actually my client (again those reading who might be my clients, in fact, refer back to our Retainer Agreement for details on billing for this "post"), but I'll just offer this bit of advice, based on my own experience, not necessarily of a legal nature:

Eat the cake. It's fine.
posted by mattbucher at 7:20 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


I did not celebrate because you, AskMe, are a drama monarch of indeterminate gender and an attention prostitute.
posted by Mister_A at 7:20 AM on December 10, 2013


Sorry for the length, tl;dr: I help all my friends find answers to their questions, no matter how big or small, and NONE of them, literally NOT ONE of them stopped to wish me a happy birthday. Do I have the right to feel upset?
posted by xingcat at 7:30 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Happy Birthday!
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:37 AM on December 10, 2013


I met anonymous at a meetup once. Hella interesting person, but such a kvetcher.
posted by griphus at 7:47 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Fantastic heading, unliteral!
posted by Melismata at 7:54 AM on December 10, 2013


Nthing this.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:59 AM on December 10, 2013


It was my 10th birthday yesterday and no one remembered. No cake, no presents, no birthday post, not even a me mail.

Sorry, I was trapped in my room.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:08 AM on December 10, 2013 [6 favorites]


I made my first AskMe post on December 16th. Here's to ten years of long-winded questions and overthinking every single decision I've ever made!
posted by bondcliff at 8:11 AM on December 10, 2013


It's why I'm here.
posted by Rash at 8:27 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Love you, Ask! I'm sorry I missed your birthday - I hope you got a lot of "help me name my [cute pet]" questions with pictures and stuff.
posted by rtha at 8:30 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


It was my 10th birthday yesterday and no one remembered. No cake, no presents, no birthday post, not even a me mail.

Sorry, I was trapped in my room. Brandon Blatcher

And lost my glasses. tilde
posted by tilde at 8:30 AM on December 10, 2013


Obviously those of a technical nature are going to meet with the most success...

IANAL, IANAD, DTMFA, go ahead and eat it.

I love how things sometimes change over time and grow in unexpected ways.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:55 AM on December 10, 2013



Wait was there a time without AskMetafilter? What did people DO?

They just ate it.

And then they died.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:02 AM on December 10, 2013 [12 favorites]


Dear Ask MeFi: Someone I know who is wise and patient and funny -- but also sometimes a bit of a knee-jerk reactionary -- had a birthday but I missed it. I know, I am a terrible friend. Will they be mad at me forever? Is there any way I can make it up to them? (Complicating things is the fact that they don't live nearby so we can't go out for drinks or anything else in-person.)
posted by wenestvedt at 9:16 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


A day-old cake with teeth in it should do the trick.
posted by Namlit at 9:18 AM on December 10, 2013


And then they died.

That's spelled "diet"
posted by Namlit at 9:19 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I left my salmon cake in the bed for two weeks because I was trapped in my room while I was looking for my missing cat because I suspected my partner was cheating on me. Should I eat the cat?
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


What's a good book to read to improve my coding skills while I skin this cat? Also, can I use a slow cooker?
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


In case you're wondering, here's What Not to Post to AskMe.
posted by Melismata at 9:42 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Happy belated birthday, Ask! I actually joined MeFi because Ask exists - this song identification question that I'd had for years was well worth my $5, and it was answered in just a few minutes.
posted by capricorn at 10:22 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


That "what not to post to AskMe" post has led me to the dark dungeons of Yahoo Answers. If you don't hear from me within a week -- someone please post an AskMe to try to save me.

from myself
posted by blurker at 10:43 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Dear AskMe,

As you are now 10 and in the precarious "tween" years, if you could just put down the Playstation for a moment, I'd like to tell you Happy Birthday. Hey, where are you going? Get off that skateboard and get back here, AskMe and...I...well, happy birthday anyway, young AskMe. Sheesh, I can hardly wait until you turn 13....
posted by Lynsey at 10:44 AM on December 10, 2013


It was an AskMe thread that first brought me to MeFi (and no, I will not reveal the topic, nosy). Then another brought me back. Then another. Then I started exploring the other facets of the site and was consistently impressed with the level and tone of discussion. Then I signed up. Then I lurked a bit. Then I started answering questions and, less often, contributing to threads on the blue. Then I started having STRONG OPINIONS about aspects of the site culture.

Aaaaand that brings us to now.
posted by Elsa at 10:44 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Should I eat the cat?

Practice basic AskMe food safety, declaw and circumcise first!

(And don't leave it out on the counter overnight)
posted by needled at 10:44 AM on December 10, 2013


AskMe never figures out my song identification questions and it's not getting a damn birthday card from me until it does.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:54 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I think today we'll see a lot of questions and then they'll eventually peter out."

Thankfully, he's not my investment advisor. It's funny him saying that, & now Ask is the generator that keeps the site open & his kids fed. You just never know. Keep throwing stuff at the wall, Matt! When it sticks, it's all good.

And yeah, I rarely ask questions, but my last one was resolved in like, 10 seconds after I had no success at all for years. I now have a high res print on Neil Fucking Young wearing a T-shirt I printed. Keep on asking in the free world!
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:57 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ok, fine I'll move it to ask.metafilter.com and far, far, away from here.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:17 PM on December 8, 2003 [1 favorite +] [!]


No, keep it here!

I swear to god I'm not just dissenting to be a pain. I actually do think it should stay incorporated with the rest of Metatalk for the time being.
posted by cortex at 5:45 PM on December 8, 2003 [+] [!]


Matt: The links for new posts, (7 new), on the ask.metafilter.com page be broken.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:52 PM on December 8, 2003 [+] [!]


Whoa! Crazy color.
posted by anathema at 7:08 PM on December 8, 2003 [+] [!]


Yikes that colour is very unappetising.
posted by riffola at 7:16 PM on December 8, 2003 [+] [!]


Lovely little piece of site history there. Matt changed the color moments later. Does anyone know what the original "Yikes!" Green was?
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:03 AM on December 10, 2013


Happy birthday, AskMe! Don't tell Blue or Gray, but you are my favorite.
posted by kimberussell at 11:09 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


wow
doge ask
what r you doing
much questions
answers contradictory
cat declaw
you has
wiiierd birthday
posted by lalochezia at 11:21 AM on December 10, 2013 [6 favorites]


To think, when AskMe was born we didn't have LOLCat or Doge. The double rainbows of Internet verbiage.
posted by The Whelk at 11:26 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


************General Announcement about Doge.


Doge spells things correctly. Doge does not use improper grammer outside of a unique "Such" and "Very." Doge often speaks in complete sentences. Doge is much smarter than LOLcats. Do not pet Doge. Do not make fun of Doge. Doge is a nice dog but very respect. Thank you.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:31 AM on December 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


Doge is about as literate as a tag cloud.
posted by Artw at 11:35 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:44 AM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


So literate
posted by The Whelk at 11:46 AM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Doge spells things correctly.

UNTRUE THESE ARE LIES ABOUT DOGE
posted by elizardbits at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow

So literate


Much fragmentation
posted by Artw at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow. I remember this so clearly... the idea was floated in metatalk, and then we "tried it" for a bit... the rest is history. One benefit (side effect?) of reading AskMetafilter every day for the last ten years, is that my real life friends are often like "how do you know all of this?!" when I bust out the answer for how to get a funky smell out of their car (ExStink), or what to do about a sucky boyfriend (DTMF) or a tricky emotional problem (therapy!). Lots more obscure examples I can't think of right now, but which pop instantly into my head when a similar problem crops up in my life or a friend's life.
posted by bonheur at 11:57 AM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


bonheur, that is amazing, because I actually need to get a smell out of my car and was thinking of Asking Metafilter.
posted by Sara C. at 12:01 PM on December 10, 2013




> How do these people got their cats wedged into their scanners, and why?

Please, people, let this be the last time. You CAN scan your cat. You CANNOT use the document feeder.
posted by jfuller at 12:02 PM on December 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


BEHOLD THE METADOGE:

   wow 911   much 9-11    little advertising   so afghanistan       very        wow     africa   much 
     america   much animals       wow      animation       very        wow     apple        such architecture 
                    such art astronomy        wow     australia   much baseball       batshitinsane    
    such bbc biology        wow     blog   so blogs       wow      very book  so books       wow 
     brokenlink bush business       wow      california   much canada   much cars     wow      
cats       wow      children       very        wow     china   much christmas       wow      cinema   
    much comedy        wow     comics       wow      computers       wow      copyright crime      
      such culture        such deadlink death design       very        wow     documentary        
 wow      drugs       wow      economics       wow         economy        wow            education       
    very        wow     election       very        wow     environment evolution       very        wow     
  fashion       very        wow     fiction       very        wow     film flash food football france        
   such fun       very        wow     funny        wow     game        such games       wow      
  gaming   so gay        wow     georgebush georgewbush google        such government     many health 
 hiphop history        wow           very  humor illustration       wow     india              much internet 
  so iran       very        wow     iraq islam israel japan       very        wow     jazz 
journalism language        such law literature      such london       very        wow     maps       
     wow      marriage        such math media   much medicine        such microsoft  oh military
         wow     money        wow     movie        such movies       wow      mp3 music nasa   much news       wow 
     newyork   doge  nsfw   very nyc    much nytimes       wow      obama   much obit 
          obituary      wow     parody        wow     philosophy        wow     photographs       wow      
     photography        wow     photos       wow      physics       wow      poetry        wow     
   police        such politics       wow      privacy        wow     psychology        wow     race      
such racism  radio religion       very        wow     research rock russia   much satire       
 such science        such sciencefiction       very        wow     scifi security        wow     sex     
       many slyt    software        such space        such sports       wow      starwars  
     wow      technology        wow     television       very        wow     terrorism travel 
       tv twitter uk us       wow      usa   much video videogames       wow      
war web women       very        wow     writing   so youtube     

posted by Artw at 12:03 PM on December 10, 2013 [21 favorites]


Doge is not a democracy.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:04 PM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Anyway, congrats Mefi.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:07 PM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Happy birthday, AskMe.


You're out of the house when you're 18.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:32 PM on December 10, 2013


such bbc biology. so blogs.
posted by Mister_A at 12:47 PM on December 10, 2013


Dear Ask Metafilter:

I need to get more wrong answers to my questions. Which is better for wrong answers: Yahoo Answers, eHow, Experts Exchange or Stack Overflow?
posted by double block and bleed at 1:59 PM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm surprised the mods did nothing to discourage the Yahoo Answer trolling. Wonder if it would fly today?
posted by Omnomnom at 2:03 PM on December 10, 2013


Zombie Enrico Dandolo is very confused and upset right now.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:03 PM on December 10, 2013


Dear Ask Metafilter:

How is babby made?
posted by double block and bleed at 2:04 PM on December 10, 2013


But you said you would delete dumb questions!
posted by fritley at 2:07 PM on December 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dear Stack Overflow,

Which jQuery plugin is used to make babby?
posted by Artw at 2:07 PM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Dear Quora,

What are the best ways to get the word out about my home-based marketing business? None of my friends will answer their doors.

Thanks in advance
Doge T Doge
findouthow2market@gmail.com
SuchmarketingLevels.net
@wow
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:14 PM on December 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm surprised the mods did nothing to discourage the Yahoo Answer trolling. Wonder if it would fly today?

IIRC, Taz did voice her annoyance about it, although she wasn't a mod at the time.

And then, in a follow-up thread, she wrote a hilarious fake question that still has me laughing to this day.
posted by Melismata at 2:26 PM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I thought it was so cool when I did a meetup in Hong Kong, and the two of us totally agreed that human relations was the best thing EVAR.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 2:35 PM on December 10, 2013


Wasn't there a problem near the beginning with people just blatantly scraping Ask and putting up their own Q&A sites with banner advertising?
posted by ceribus peribus at 2:40 PM on December 10, 2013


"For me, this beats AskSlashdot any day."

Ha!
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:16 PM on December 10, 2013


Once you're in double digits, none of this matters.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:55 PM on December 10, 2013


Holy crap. Look at all the obsolete user names in that old thread.

As a new person to the site (joined 2012!), I'm more surprised that all the user names aren't obsolete.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:57 PM on December 10, 2013


I have had an awful day dealing with left sectarian B.S., so seeing this has made me SUPER happy. Happy birthday! :)
posted by Mistress at 5:10 PM on December 10, 2013


double block and bleed: "Dear Ask Metafilter:

I need to get more wrong answers to my questions. Which is better for wrong answers: Yahoo Answers, eHow, Experts Exchange or Stack Overflow?
"

One possibility.
posted by Lexica at 6:50 PM on December 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Another 8 years and it can join the coast guard.
posted by salishsea at 11:28 PM on December 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Dear AskMe: should I put on pants?
posted by arcticseal at 3:08 AM on December 11, 2013


Dear AskMe: should I put on pants?

The answer to that question can be found around 1:08 in Rebecca Black's Saturday video.
posted by Wordshore at 4:05 AM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dear AskMe: should I put on pants?

On Slashdot the answer would have been "Pants are optional, but recommended for you."

Slashdot still affects me with a "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" vibe. I dread finding out what (Ask)MeFi's natural lifespan is - although as long as it's long enough I guess I'll be ok. Happy 10th birthday, Ask.
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:51 AM on December 11, 2013


I love how things sometimes change over time and grow in unexpected ways.

Much like that cake you've been leaving out on the counter for several days.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:22 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I looked and looked and could not find you a gift. However, I found a perfectly great website for you to join in place of this one. It is called ffffound.com.
posted by parmanparman at 5:09 PM on December 11, 2013


Hey, I share a birthday with AskMe?! Awesome.

I am a LITTLE older though.
posted by wintersweet at 5:12 PM on December 12, 2013


Do you realize Metafilter is older than some of its users now?


Maybe?
posted by mazola at 11:27 PM on December 12, 2013


I'm thinking about posting an AskMe question. What shall I title it?
posted by BlueHorse at 6:16 PM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm thinking about posting an AskMe question. What shall I title it?

Of the many attractive rest stops in Iowa, which is the loveliest?
posted by Wordshore at 4:48 PM on December 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


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