secret quonsar 2014: signups are now open November 1, 2014 1:30 AM   Subscribe

It's secret quonsar time again! Participants will find out who they have drawn on Wednesday, November 12, and the send by (or on) date is Monday, December 1*. Please sign up by 11:59 PM EST on Monday, November 10. The spending guideline: $10-20.

secret quonsar (wiki) is the MeFi holiday-adjacent gift swap. Each participant sends a gift to an awesome Mefite; each participant receives a gift from an awesome Mefite. Awesomeness and gifts abound. You will note that the signup deadlines and draw dates fall in the first half of November this year; we did this to ensure more time for research, gift acquisition, and shipping.

Signing Up
There will be a link at the end of this post. Follow it. We need an actual MeFi username, an email address you check, your name & mailing address, and some good guidance for the person who draws your name.

You will get a confirmation email within 24 hours of signing up that will show you the information you submitted. Please check your spam/junk mail folder. If you do not get this confirmation within 48 hours, send me a memail. If you have not gotten a confirmation email, you may not be signed up or you entered the wrong email address. We can fix that. Fun Fact: Every year, several people accidentally typo their own email addresses, which leads to confusion and consternation, and sometimes no gift for someone until late in the season.

You will get your draw via email. It will contain key information about the person you will be gifting: MeFi username, real name, mailing address, and hopefully helpful guidance from the person you drew. It should allow you get off to a running start.

If you are having trouble putting together your guidance section, ocherdraco put together a list of questions a few years ago to help you focus. You don't have to answer all (or any of) the questions, but this is a good place to start if you are stumped by the Guidance section.

We will not share, abuse, sell, or spindle your email address. The person who draws your name will not get your email address. We will delete all emails sent and received at the end of the sq season.

The Rules
If you failed to send your giftee a gift last year (without working it out with us), don't even bother signing up. You've been banned from this year's festivities. If you do try to sign up, your name will be yoinked from the swap. You can try again next year, but two strikes and you will be out. If you don't send a gift this year, you will be banned next year. You will get only one second chance. If you sign up anyway, you will be removed from the list and you will hear from me.

If you find that you can't participate after signing up but before the draw, after all, then send me a MeMail or an email to the address below. I'll remove your entry. If you find that you can't participate after all after the draw, please send an email to that same gmail account as soon as possible so we can contact the folks who drew you and whom you drew and redirect or reassign as appropriate.

If you do not think you can mail a gift in a reasonable amount of time, please do not participate. It's not OK to plan now on finding and sending your gift after your life calms down in January or late December or on Valentines Day.

Hey! You have a question!
We're happy to serve as anonymizing middlemen if you have a question for your recipient, to send messages to your recipient on your behalf, to find out if a package has been sent or has been received. Send us an email at our google address (see below), and we'll see what we can find out for you.

A Note About the Swap Groups
The list has changed slightly from last year. If we do not get enough people to do a swap in a group, I will contact folks in the underpopulated swap groups to see what can be done before the swap.

A Note about International Swapping
I STRONGLY recommend mailing as early as possible if you are going to send anything internationally, especially if the US is involved. Customs holds up lots of packages for varying amounts of time (with some, it seems forever.) If you sign up for the International/Anywhere option, please be aware that shipping times may stretch out longer than you'd prefer.

Signing up for the international swap doesn't guarantee that you will get a gift from and/or will send a gift to someone outside of the country in which you live (particularly if you live in the USA).

Communicating with us
Unless you need to contact us specifically about one of the organizers, please use our gmail account secretquonsarswap. This will help us make sure we don't overlook anything and can be as efficient as possible.

Who we are
This year, I will be helped by arcticseal and phunniemee. If you drew one of our names and have anonymous questions; contact one of the other quonczars to get your answers.

* Send Date
We have set the send by date to be Monday, December 1. Because this comes at the end of a high-travellin' shopping-friendly holiday weekend in the U.S., we understand that some folks may need an extra day to get that package out. We do expect folks to have their gifts in the mail or on their way to the post office at the very beginning of December. This is not a free pass to mailing it out the next weekend.

The signup link
Sign Up Here.
posted by julen to MetaFilter-Related at 1:30 AM (250 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

Hooray! Thanks julen!

The sign up link in this post works just fine, but the one in the email takes me to a page saying "The form Secret Quonsar 2014 - Sign Up is no longer accepting responses."

I am excited to get quonsing!
posted by bethnull at 1:39 AM on November 1, 2014


D'oh! When gmail modernized drive, they must have changed the URL from last year.

Luckily, gmail is only letting me send 100 emails a day from a spreadsheet (new this year! grrrr), so I can now fix that for 50% of the signups are open notification emails going out.
posted by julen at 1:43 AM on November 1, 2014


So pumped about this, one of my favourite things about the community, and it's consistently exposed me to members I may not have come across otherwise.
posted by smoke at 1:59 AM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]


Oh, and the email (at least on my Gmail) is showing the links as HTML code.
posted by divabat at 2:05 AM on November 1, 2014


Yeah, I just noticed that in my own signups are now open email. It didn't even occur to me to test drive the gmail portion of this first to see it wasn't converting hand-typed in (or pasted) html into rendered html! I could have sworn it used to do that. I can see I'm starting the "Things to Fix or Change for Next Year" notes early this year.
posted by julen at 2:16 AM on November 1, 2014


Yay! Signed up!

Just a note re: international shipping from the US. This year postage jumped again... Friends in Colorado and Oregon recently sent me (France) small packages of seriously lightweight goodies (bubblegum, jerky), and both of them paid $22 apiece for Priority Mail postage, which is the cheapest. Ugh. It's more reasonable from other countries I've seen, but if you're on a budget, do check.
posted by fraula at 4:13 AM on November 1, 2014


Gyah. Ever since I heard about it, this will be the first year I won't be able to participate due to finances. I am a very sad puppy.
posted by TrishaLynn at 4:32 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yay! I just signed up. Bring on the quonsmas cheer!
posted by LN at 4:45 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


Signed up, with delight. (And apologies to my gifter who has to read through my thesis of what I do and don't want.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:51 AM on November 1, 2014


Woo! Thanks for all the hard work in putting is together.

Can I register now and add/update the guidelines later, or should I wait until I've figured out what to put down?
posted by Room 641-A at 4:58 AM on November 1, 2014


So ... I signed up for this this thing finally, and I'll tell you why. Because I have a broken tooth filling, and I have been mixing oxycontin and vodka. Plus, it's Halloween.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:13 AM on November 1, 2014 [8 favorites]


This email is intended for: Young Jeffrey Arthur

HOLD NOTIFICATION
THE MATERIAL LISTED BELOW IS BEING HELD FOR YOU
and is now available for pickup at the location listed below the title.

Please pick up or cancel the material within 5 days of the date on this
notice or you will be charged $1.00.

Wow. That was quick!
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:19 AM on November 1, 2014


After years of non-participation, I'm thinking of opting in this year. The most appealing part to me is how you can dig through someone's posts to come up with just the right idea. Does that still happen with the Guidance box? Can I request a non-Guidance-filler match?
posted by daisyace at 5:19 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Signed up and left a note for you, julen, in the address field - while I'll be mailing from Europe before going on vacation, I'll be receiving at an address where we've had issues before for mail from the US, just fyi. Also you may want to remove that "note to julen" from teh address fields :)
posted by infini at 5:21 AM on November 1, 2014


Woohoo! Someone's getting quonsed this year. Quonsed hard.

Wait, that doesn't sound right...
posted by Ghidorah at 5:31 AM on November 1, 2014 [8 favorites]


Signed up! Hit submit before I meant to, but I think everything was there..
posted by needlegrrl at 5:57 AM on November 1, 2014


It's the most. Wonderful time. Of the yeeeaaarrrrr!!!
posted by carmicha at 6:15 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


As is my wont to say every year:

It's the most Quonsical time of the year!
posted by deezil at 6:23 AM on November 1, 2014


I'm in!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:29 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


Quonsmas is one of the best things about MeFi, I love the interaction I get with everyone. Can't wait!

Also, julen and phunniemee are simply wonderful to work with. Let the quonsing begin!
posted by arcticseal at 6:29 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]


Confirmations will be trickling out throughout the day - google is only letting me send 100 emails a day from a spreadsheet, and I already used up my quota on 1/4 of the signups-are-open notification emails. Technology! *shakes fist* (For the record, I could send out 750 emails from spreadsheets last year during a 24 hour period.)

Room 641-A: "Woo! Thanks for all the hard work in putting is together. Can I register now and add/update the guidelines later, or should I wait until I've figured out what to put down?"

I recommend that you wait until you have all your info together; that said, if you want to augment or change your submission after submission, reply to the confirmation email you will get.

daisyace: "After years of non-participation, I'm thinking of opting in this year. The most appealing part to me is how you can dig through someone's posts to come up with just the right idea. Does that still happen with the Guidance box? Can I request a non-Guidance-filler match?"

Yes it does! I'd put something in your guidance section along the lines of: I think you can learn a lot about me from my site participation - It will be awesome to see how that translates into a gift. and if you need to add other key info, you could say By the way, I am allergic to wombats or whatever other key info you need to include.

Your secret quonsar may still have other questions for you after exploring your site participation, which we will be glad to pass on.
posted by julen at 6:33 AM on November 1, 2014


it is indeed the most quoniscal time of the year! :)

Thanks Julen!
posted by firei at 6:58 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yay! This is one of my favorite things about the season, even though I agonize over what gift I'll send and always dawdle too long.
posted by xingcat at 7:17 AM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]


I will quonse until I can quonse no more! Thanks julen!
posted by Sophie1 at 7:29 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Long time quonse viewer, first-time quonse participant.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:35 AM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]


Signed up! Thanks for running this, julen!

For anyone who hesitates because you don't feel like you're a huge part of the community, or you mostly lurk, or you're not a known username or have a low usernumber or do donate or don't donate, please don't. This is a warm-n-fuzzy thing that transcends all of that. The Quonsar thank you threads are just magical to read.
posted by kimberussell at 7:38 AM on November 1, 2014 [14 favorites]


Gyah. Ever since I heard about it, this will be the first year I won't be able to participate due to finances. I am a very sad puppy.

I was just thinking about this as soon as I saw this post. I know you weren't asking for money, but I also know you're not the only one in this situation. I have $50 I could put in a pot and those who wanted some cash from this pot to participate could take it. I am sure others would also kick in, so this money pot could presumably grow large enough to allow all who wanted to participate to do so. I'm not volunteering to manage this magic money pot, but I think it would be a good idea.

Maybe even turn it into a pseudo-fund raiser for the site or the charity thing pinksuperhero has done in the past. Those wanting to send Matt some cash, those needing it ask Matt for some cash, any that's leftover goes into the operating costs. I'd even suggest if someone asks for some cash and doesn't quonsar it that would be fine as well.

Maybe this is too godfather.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:50 AM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]


It's too godfather.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:56 AM on November 1, 2014


Yeah! My secret quonsar email completely brightened my rainy morning. Thank you julen, arcticseal and phunniemee for keeping the spirit of quonsmas alive!
posted by amelliferae at 8:02 AM on November 1, 2014


Hmm.. along cjorgensen's line of thought--

Perhaps we could make a list of people willing to sponsor another gifter? I certainly would like to make it possible for anyone to participate, finances notwithstanding.
posted by nat at 8:03 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]


Yes. Sponsorship.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:04 AM on November 1, 2014


This is so much fun; I look forward to the quonsmas swap every year. Thanks, julen, arcticseal, and phunniemee. You guys do such a great job.

My usual store, Uncle Fun, closed this year, which makes me very sad (but I'm so happy for him and his husband!). I guess I'll need to try to find another store that was MADE for quonsmas.

Will there be second-chance/overeager giftors on standby this year (in case someone gets stiffed)?

Also, I like the idea of a fund that would allow more people to participate.
posted by heyho at 8:07 AM on November 1, 2014


My phone on shuffle has been playing Christmas songs a lot more lately. Jingle Rock Bell came on a few days ago and I LET IT PLAY because I knew it was a harbinger of Quonsmas!

Yay, Happy Quonsmas!
posted by vespabelle at 8:26 AM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


A fund to help more people participate is a wonderful idea! Quonsmas for everyone!

(And thank you julen, arctic seal, and phunniemee -- SQ is one of my favorite things about metafilter!)
posted by mochapickle at 8:44 AM on November 1, 2014


I did music swap for the first time this year and it was great. Quonsmas here I come.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:44 AM on November 1, 2014


BTW, does one refer to the sending the gift as the 'quonsor' and the one receiving it as the 'quonsee'?
posted by benito.strauss at 8:47 AM on November 1, 2014


Quonsar and quonsee, benito.strauss.

I'm in, huzzah!
posted by ocherdraco at 8:49 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hooray! I'm off to fill out my forms and this cold cold gray sad Saturday has gotten bright and cheerful!
posted by ChuraChura at 9:06 AM on November 1, 2014


WooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!

(excited about Secret Quonsar; not a ghost)
posted by jeoc at 9:06 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]


(excited about Secret Quonsar; not a ghost)

Boo.

(Not disappointed; a ghost.)

posted by Room 641-A at 9:44 AM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]


Signed up. THANK YOU!
posted by kalessin at 9:49 AM on November 1, 2014


Signed up and ready to quonse! As usual I made a really un-directive what-I-like section; I'm just happy to get a gift, any gift, my sekrit quonsar might send.

And if you need me, julen, sign me up for the Second Chancer giver's list.
posted by easily confused at 9:53 AM on November 1, 2014


I've got to figure out whose address I can use as a mail drop. After that I'm signing up.
posted by Gygesringtone at 10:14 AM on November 1, 2014


I am IN!! Forst-time secret quonsar-er! Yay!
posted by sarcasticah at 10:16 AM on November 1, 2014


Signed up. Happy to be a Second Chancer, too. I've been waiting for this ALL YEAR!
posted by angiep at 10:54 AM on November 1, 2014


Yes - we are signing up second chancers for this year, in the hope we won't need them. If you'd like to be one, send us an email volunteering.

(angiep, easily confused - I've already added you to our list.)
posted by julen at 11:01 AM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Signed up! I cannot let my toenail clippings fall into the hands of my enemies, but it's too dangerous to keep them here. So that's two birds with one stone.*

* Quonsee: Please do not remove them from their individual envelopes--the date, time, barometric pressure and my letter to Beyoncé for that day is critical information which needs to stay with the specific specimen, or the entire mission will be compromised.
posted by maxwelton at 11:08 AM on November 1, 2014 [11 favorites]


So excited that I broke out my official quonsmas hat, made from the yarn I got last quonsmas, to celebrate! Bring on the best holiday of the year!

Look closely in the picture to spot the dinosaur coloring book page on my wall. Why yes, I am that awesome.
posted by ActionPopulated at 12:13 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


So nervous that I won't actually be signed up from link failure! Can we be put on manually? *makes big puppy eyes at julen*
posted by corb at 12:26 PM on November 1, 2014


waaahhh! Link no worky for me either. I e-mailed the gmail address - hope it gets fixed soon. This is my favorite time of year.
posted by dbmcd at 12:37 PM on November 1, 2014


Corb, try this address:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?usp=drive_web&formkey=dDNiRS1IbzRVSFhsVWZZUTZRMktYV0E6MA#gid=0

About 1/3 of all recipients (Usernames A through I) got an email with the wrong URL in it. I apologize. The URL in this post - and above - should work.

(Long story short: I can't access the old URL due in part to the fact that I didn't realize there was a change to the URL which is related to the fact that google updated both drive and spreadsheets - including treating forms and spreadsheets as if they were both independent AND related. The result is, because I had an imperfect understanding of which files were "original but renamed" and which were "duplicates but renamed", I deleted the original spreadsheet file thinking it was a cloned file. And yet, the form associated with that original spreadsheet lives on in a weird unaccesible limbo. I can't access it to point at the new url.)
posted by julen at 1:47 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


"After years of non-participation, I'm thinking of opting in this year. The most appealing part to me is how you can dig through someone's posts to come up with just the right idea. Does that still happen with the Guidance box? Can I request a non-Guidance-filler match?"

Yes it does! I'd put something in your guidance section along the lines of: I think you can learn a lot about me from my site participation - It will be awesome to see how that translates into a gift...


Makes good sense. I was more thinking about my quonsee - whether I could request one who doesn't fill in their Guidance, at least not so specifically that there wouldn't be any call to rifle through their posting history. But then I saw one of your older posts saying that guidance was often interesting and delightful. So, should be good either way... Here goes...!
posted by daisyace at 1:48 PM on November 1, 2014


I love Quonsmas and secret quonsar with all of my little quonsing heart! Thanks so much to the quonczars for organizing!
posted by Diagonalize at 2:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


This news is the best Candy Hangover Cure ever.
posted by wenestvedt at 2:20 PM on November 1, 2014


I wait for this ALL YEAR LONG! I'm signed up and ready to go!
posted by patheral at 2:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]


Signed up for the first time this year, sounds fun!

If whoever gets me reads this, I forgot to mention that if you get anything food related I'm a vegetarian. I don't think my recommendations will send you in that direction, but just in case.
posted by Drinky Die at 2:26 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but pignutcicles are mostly vegetarian, so that would work.
posted by heyho at 2:36 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Signed up. Yay!
posted by gaspode at 3:23 PM on November 1, 2014


Oh goodie! Last year was my first year, and I had a great time both buying treats for my "person" and receiving fantastic, thoughtful stuff from my giver! Shipping charges necessitated I pull a couple cool items from my box (~it was to weep~), but the giving and the getting were tons of fun. I'm definitely in again!
posted by but no cigar at 4:06 PM on November 1, 2014


The first 101 signup confirmations have gone out. If you signed up before 3pm Eastern (US) time (which is about 4 hours and 20 minutes ago), you should have gotten one. There are about 20 more signups in the queue right now, and I'll get to those later/tomorrow morning.
posted by julen at 4:21 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Got my confirmation. Thanks for organizing this, julen (and arcticseal and phunniemee, the quonsar elves).
posted by benito.strauss at 4:28 PM on November 1, 2014


cjorgensen: You are awesome for using my plea to think of other quonsians who aren't able to participate.

Thanks to you and two other MeFites who messaged me to offer virtual hugs and whatnot, I'm wondering if there are any quonsees who would be interested in receiving the gift of writing, since that's all I can really offer right now that's worth anything of value. Like, considering the suggested dollar amount, I'd be willing to write a short story about a subject of the quonsee's choice that's either 250 words long or takes me two hours to write, whichever comes first. Or should I start a second swap of my own for that sort of thing?
posted by TrishaLynn at 4:47 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm in! (Sorry for whoever gets me as my guidance is basically "I like anything just send me Stuff!")

I got a-maz-ing things from the lovely fraula last year, which put my own gift to shame, so I promise to do my best for my Quonsee this year.
posted by billiebee at 4:52 PM on November 1, 2014


Thanks, julen, arcticseal, and phunniemee! Just submitted my form (which did not work in Opera but worked in Safari) (alternatively, I submitted my form 14 times. sorry.)

I had such great Quonsars for the past two years and I was comparatively a rubbish Quonsar but I will do better! Super excited :D
posted by you must supply a verb at 5:16 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


See, I don't see why the quonsar gifts have to have a dollar amount that's anything more than a guide. I'd say a short story would be cooler than most $20 packages. I'd take something crafty or something handmade (cookies for example).
posted by cjorgensen at 5:16 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]


Signed up. So very excited.
posted by RainyJay at 5:37 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


I signed up for the first time in several years! Would not be opposed to getting some ham in the mail hint hint no that is not a euphemism i just really like ham
posted by backseatpilot at 6:41 PM on November 1, 2014


Aren't you still working on your wedding ham? Also not a euphemism.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:44 PM on November 1, 2014


Oh! I was a Second-Chancee last year, and it was THE BEST. Just when I had given up all my Quonmas hopes, I got a package full of awesome.

Please put me on the list of Second-Chanceurs this year. I want to pay it forward, even though I can never live up to a hand-carved bas relief of Kryten.
posted by jeoc at 6:49 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yay! This is one of my favorite things about the season, even though I agonize over what gift I'll send and always dawdle too long.

FWIW, you did an awesome job last year!
posted by bondcliff at 7:03 PM on November 1, 2014


See, I don't see why the quonsar gifts have to have a dollar amount that's anything more than a guide.

I love Secret Quonsar because it is unexpected, interesting stuff from strangers. I always viewed the $ amount recommendation as a way to moderate expectations and avoid people one-upping each other with ever more amazing expensive things.

I don't think I'm alone in feeling that this is one of the highlights of my holidays. In a season that can be full of obligation and expectation, participating in this exchange feels like an act of love and faith. I'm sharing my home address and lots of personal information with a total stranger, and trusting that unknown person to come through with kindness and thoughtfulness. And they do! (usually)

I'm fortunate enough (and it is luck, rather than any kind of merit) to be able to participate without a thought to the cost. I don't know how this would work, but I would definitely join in a SQ "scholarship" fund or some other arrangement that allows people without financial means to participate.

Perhaps creating a category of people (similar to the geographic categories) that are willing to receive no-cost/low-cost creative items? I don't know the answer, I just hate the idea that people who want to participate, with valuable things to contribute, might feel they can't.
posted by jeoc at 7:13 PM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]


Signed up!
Quonsmas is the best mas!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 7:32 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


Just for the record, I am not allergic to wombats. (I forgot to put that in my guidelines.)
posted by small_ruminant at 8:40 PM on November 1, 2014


Wombats! I totally should have said I love wombats. Also capybaras. This will have to do.
posted by Glinn at 8:55 PM on November 1, 2014


It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Third year here. I can't wait! I've had such a good time getting to know my quonsee each year through their posting history. It's almost as fun as reading through the thank-you thread.
posted by MsVader at 10:12 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]


I just signed up; it's my first SQ, even though I've been on MeFi for years. It sounds wonderful.
posted by jeri at 12:21 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Got my confirmation email! I'm so stoked.
posted by patheral at 12:25 AM on November 2, 2014


Signed up. Already thinking about what weird little Japan things to send out this year.
posted by emmling at 1:29 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Quonsmas is my favorite holiday because for the past several years my parents just asked me what I wanted and gave me money for it. So it's the only time I get surprise gifts. Even if they're off my wishlist I still don't know what's coming.

Would not be opposed to getting some ham in the mail hint hint no that is not a euphemism i just really like ham

Ponyo? Is that you?
posted by IndigoRain at 1:52 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]


Yay! This year was my first CD Swap, and now I'm signed up for my first quonsmas!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:12 AM on November 2, 2014 [2 favorites]


Signed up! Woo!

I like quonsing more than exchanging gifts with my own family/friends... I think it's the effort that both parties go through in giving information about themselves, and trying to pick out the -perfect- gift for a recipient, since you only get one shot to get it right... unlike friends/family, where you generally buy at least two gifts per year (birthday and holidays) for years on end, which means some are guaranteed to be duds, and the level of effort is a lot lower.

....and, after talking that one out for myself, I no longer feel guilty about enjoying Quonsmas more than Christmas.

Let's Quonse the heck out of this holiday season!
posted by Fig at 7:56 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]


Loved it last year, despite never hearing from the person I Quonsed. In again this year!
posted by dotgirl at 8:14 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yay! Halloween is my favorite holiday so I'm always a little sad when it's over, but when the end of Halloween means the beginning of Quonsmas season, that makes it all better. I'm signed up for the--4th? 5th?--year in a row and ready to quonse the heck out of some wonderful someone, as I have had the heck quonsed out of me each year.

I'd also like to be a Second-Chancer again this year, are there signups for that yet?
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:54 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Gadzooks, it is officially the best time of year.
posted by Nackt at 9:55 AM on November 2, 2014


rhiannonstone - I've added your name to the list of second chance volunteers. Thanks!
posted by julen at 10:03 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


any quonsees who would be interested in receiving the gift of writing

cjorgensen was my quonser last year, and I was really delighted that he included a printed copy of his Anansi Poems chapbook; it was an awesome gift, and I think most any quonsee would appreciate receiving the gift of words crafted with skill and love (or in the case of cjorgensen's Anansi Poems, apparently copious amounts of alcohol and perhaps a touch of PTSD).
posted by drlith at 10:12 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


eeee signed up!
posted by brilliantine at 10:32 AM on November 2, 2014


any quonsees who would be interested in receiving the gift of writing

I put "homemade and handmade stuff" in the (rather longish) list of things I like, and that absolutely includes written pieces or other forms of MeFite-made art!
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:24 AM on November 2, 2014


Perhaps creating a category of people (similar to the geographic categories) that are willing to receive no-cost/low-cost creative items? I don't know the answer, I just hate the idea that people who want to participate, with valuable things to contribute, might feel they can't.

Is there a requirement that gifts need to be purchased at all? I think it's more important that the gift is in the quonsee's realm of interest. If that is indeed the case, maybe that could be clarified in the official info.

On preview, I also included a line about loving homemade/handmade gifts in my form. I'd be thrilled to receive nothing but a couple of hand-made cat toys!
posted by Room 641-A at 11:38 AM on November 2, 2014


Done and done!
posted by PussKillian at 12:14 PM on November 2, 2014


I have only a vague idea of what being part of the Second Chance crew entails, but from what I read from the previous SQ posts, I'd like to volunteer.
posted by introp at 1:28 PM on November 2, 2014


introp: being a Second Chancer means you might get lucky enough to send a second stranger a gift, if (for whatever reason) somebody doesn't get one in the first round! The package their original gifter sent might have gotten lost in the mail or held up in customs or eaten by dinosaurs, and julen & her merry crew of Quonsmas elves don't want anybody to be left out like that.
posted by easily confused at 2:13 PM on November 2, 2014


introp: "I have only a vague idea of what being part of the Second Chance crew entails, but from what I read from the previous SQ posts, I'd like to volunteer."

easily confused nailed it. I don't want to say certain inspectors and agents in certain customs services are dinosaurs, but have you ever seen an allosaur and a Canadian customs officer at the same Tim Horton's?

We collect a list of lovely people who are able and happy to send out a second gift into the world so that if a package is lost/missing/eaten/stolen, the recipient is not left giftless (sometimes the original gift shows up later - I think mailed-in-December-arrived-in-April is the current winner in the longest-time-to-arrive stakes. Not every volunteer is called upon; we generally assign a second chancer based on geography, if they've gotten their gift yet, how often we have used them in the past (we like to spread it around), karma, region, and drama. (I once opted not to assign user A as a second chancer to user B since they were currently wrangling in MeTa.If it had been 3-6 months later, when passions had cooled, I wouldn't have cared.)

In late December, I'll send out an email to second chancer volunteers to make sure they are still willing, able, and happy to second chance - sometimes situations change, and it's totally cool to step out when it comes time to gift because your life has changed.

If it still sounds good, I'll be happy to add you to the list.
posted by julen at 2:38 PM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Loved it last year, despite never hearing from the person I Quonsed.

That might have been me. After receiving my quonsing Stuff started happening in my Life and December/January turned out to be kind of difficult. Every day I chastised myself for not sending a thank you, but I kept letting it slide.

To whomever quonsed me last year, thank you, and I am very sorry for not thanking you sooner!
posted by mudpuppie at 3:02 PM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


merry crew of Quonsmas elves

How did you know I had a bottle of wine open?
posted by arcticseal at 3:36 PM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Is there a specific place to sign up on the second chancer list? Also, uh, my geography is a little complicated.. when would second chancing happen? I might be on a different continent, depending.
posted by nat at 4:18 PM on November 2, 2014


Quonsmas Second Chance Crew sounds like a job I'd love to take. If called up, I may stencil up a shirt with the name on it.
posted by introp at 4:21 PM on November 2, 2014


nat - send an email to our secretquonsarswap@gmail acount with the parameters of where you'll be when. We'll add a note our spreadsheet field so when we're assigning second chancers we can do so reasonably.

introp, I'll add you to the list!
posted by julen at 4:40 PM on November 2, 2014


My quonsar sent me the most delightful of gifts and I too never got around to a thank you. This year I vow to be a better quonsee and send thanks on the day of receiving!
posted by Go Banana at 5:04 PM on November 2, 2014




I can't believe it's Quonsmas season already! Yay! Festive pompoms for everyone!

(Julen, if you need more second chancers, count me in.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 7:02 AM on November 3, 2014


So I used ocherdracho's helpful list of questions in my guidance section, but didn't quite realize I'd managed to write a blasted novel until I looked over my answers in my confirmation email ... kind of embarrassed about that, so my apologies to whomever gets me (please don't feel obligated to read the whole thing!). Nevertheless, this is my first year participating in Quonsmas and I'm really excited about it - thanks, julen, arcticseal, and phunniemee for keeping the fun going!
posted by DingoMutt at 7:55 AM on November 3, 2014 [2 favorites]


You think you're embarrassed now, DingoMutt, wait until your quonser takes revenge on your overly specific prolixty by sending you a gallon of cattle lube.
posted by drlith at 8:05 AM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


Aren't you still working on your wedding ham?

You can never have too much ham! How long does this stuff last, anyway?
posted by backseatpilot at 8:15 AM on November 3, 2014


I am signed up! So much fun last year! This year, someone gets a needle felted critter. I mention this in case you are my quonsee: Don't worry, I will include a note indicating what the animal was supposed to be, as well as chocolate...

I mentioned in the guidance section that I'd love something made by or local to whoever gets me. This most definitely includes a short story of 250 words (time travel, please).
posted by AllieTessKipp at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


RedOrGreen - Added you to the Second Chancers list. We'll check in with SC volunteers before assigning people.

needle felted critter - I may put a flipper on the Randomizer to get one of those.
posted by arcticseal at 8:45 AM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


after getting a plate of butter cookies (thru the mail none the less), I had to sign up again…and this time Im going international! Can't wait!
posted by ShawnString at 8:57 AM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


How long does this stuff last, anyway?

Ricky Skaggs promises "no frigerate, no expire date, you know you can't hurt ham."
posted by drlith at 9:07 AM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


Signed up!

Just in case no one has said it yet, if you've participated in the past it may worth searching your Gmail for "quonsar" or the like - you'll probably come up with last year's verification form which will have whatever you wrote last year.

PS: I forgot to write this but dear Quonsar, if you are in San Francisco please just send me wolverine bread from Arizmendi and cinnamon rolls from Devil's Teeth, kthxbyeluvya.
posted by maryr at 9:32 AM on November 3, 2014


I'm happy to be on the second chancer list, too.
posted by ocherdraco at 9:37 AM on November 3, 2014


I had such a fun time with this last year, looking forward to participating again!
posted by capricorn at 9:51 AM on November 3, 2014


Signed up, and ready to quons the shit out of someone.
posted by Kabanos at 9:53 AM on November 3, 2014 [4 favorites]


I've been reading these threads for a while now, but I think this year may finally be time to join the quonstivities.
posted by deludingmyself at 12:48 PM on November 3, 2014 [3 favorites]


Alright. Talked to the Quonsmas elves, and I'm putting my name in! Which means that anyone whom I get has already opted in for homemade stuff, and I feel less squirrelly about this now.

Let the Quonsing begin!
posted by TrishaLynn at 2:18 PM on November 3, 2014 [5 favorites]


(I'm another one who added homemade/handmade to my ideas list. And vice-versa: If my quonsee would like something homemade, I'd love the excuse to sew up something unique.)
posted by mochapickle at 3:29 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


Quonsee:

You might be getting a poem. It'll probably be a pantoum.
posted by RainyJay at 5:25 PM on November 3, 2014


If you think you've signed up for secret quonsar and have not gotten a confirmation in your email, please check your spam or junk folders. If it's not there, drop us a memail at our gmail account (secretquonsarswap) or here to me via MeMail.
posted by julen at 7:50 PM on November 3, 2014


All signed up !! :)
posted by seawallrunner at 9:34 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


I mentioned in the guidance section that I'd love something made by or local to whoever gets me. This most definitely includes a short story of 250 words (time travel, please).

Even if I don't get you, I may just end up writing that story. :)
posted by TrishaLynn at 10:42 PM on November 3, 2014 [2 favorites]


Last year was my first Quonsmas and I had the greatest delight assembling what I thought was just the right assortment of things for dot girl. I found her a hedgehog, by golly, and a marzipan pig and I went shopping at the MeFi Mall for fantastic art. By the time I'd got her package in the mail I sighed with happiness and thought to myself, Quonsmas is the best thing ever. I was content. Then a package arrived from Hairy Lobster with a little iron snail sculpture and bas relief brass plaque decorated with fabulous hummingbirds and flowers and I was excited and thrilled all over again. The snail lives on my desk diary. I can't wait to get my new Quonsee's name and start shopping!
posted by Anitanola at 11:58 PM on November 3, 2014 [6 favorites]


Thanks for organizing this, julen.
posted by smackfu at 5:35 AM on November 4, 2014


I've had a great quonsar experience year after year; I'm happy to join again!

Also, I wanted to report back to cubby after some field testing so I will do it here while I'm thinking of it: My gift from last year is doing so awesome out in the wild. It is in my regular repertoire of kitchen utensils and it feels really great in my hand while I use it. It also makes me feel happy and special for some reason every time I use it, because of the unique story behind it. But it's also the perfect shape and size for many activities, including honey-dispensing, coffee grounds from the grinder-retrieving, spice-adding, and more. I am not super gentle with my stuff and it has held up great, perhaps even better-looking with age. I do maintain it with oil and haven't done anything silly like leave it in the sink. A+++ would spoon again. :)
posted by NikitaNikita at 9:41 AM on November 4, 2014 [6 favorites]


Back again for some Quonsmas fun! I kept my guidelines brief because I didn't want to restrict my Quonsar, hopefully I didn't leave them hanging with too little detail.
posted by Julnyes at 2:25 PM on November 4, 2014


Quonsar, the event where I got a friggin dinosaur footprint? SIGN ME UP
posted by DigDoug at 9:22 AM on November 5, 2014 [5 favorites]


Woohoo! Form submitted, eagerly awaiting my confirmation. I was so bummed last year when I spaced out and missed the signup deadline and missed Secret Quonsar for the first time in 4 years. SO VERY BUMMED.

Two things:
  1. Huge thanks as always to julen, arcticseal, phunniemee and anyone else I am missing for organizing this madness. I suspect it's a lot more work than any of us realize.
  2. Participants: please, please, please fill out something meaningful/useful in the signup guidance box. Especially if you don't have much of a posting history that your Secret Quonsar can use to figure out what you're into. Even if it's just a link to your Etsy favorites or Amazon wishlist! Otherwise I may have no choice but to send you fruitcake.

posted by usonian at 1:17 PM on November 5, 2014


I may have no choice but to send you fruitcake

I thought the interwebs were already sending me that each day?
posted by infini at 1:32 PM on November 5, 2014


Out of curiosity, is anyone organizing a cookie swap this year?

(I think there was also an awesome craft swap at one point, but that might be better post-holiday season)
posted by maryr at 3:07 PM on November 5, 2014


PS: Maybe I LIKE fruitcake.
posted by maryr at 3:08 PM on November 5, 2014 [3 favorites]


I mean, as infini points out, I like you folks.
posted by maryr at 3:08 PM on November 5, 2014


Actually maryr, I got myself thinking about making a Quonsmas pudding to include in my package. This recipe is flat out amazing.
posted by usonian at 5:04 PM on November 5, 2014 [2 favorites]


Signed up, got my email, stoked.
posted by signal at 5:35 PM on November 5, 2014


usonian - god damn does that woman get presentation. Photos of her food are always simple and straightforward and fucking mouth watering. Gah. (Her writing is also charming.)
posted by maryr at 8:24 PM on November 5, 2014


So, last year, I saw this post and clicked the link, went back and forth, waffled a little, waffled some more, here I came, a waffling, hesitated, and finally after a week, I signed up with an "eep!"

This year, I clicked on MetaTalk, saw this post, went "eee!" and signed up within five minutes. Such is the joy of knowing what participating in Quonsmas is actually like! (I am still writing faithfully in my question-a-day journal I got last year.)
posted by ilana at 9:18 PM on November 5, 2014 [1 favorite]


ilana: here I came, a waffling

...among the leaves so green?
posted by deludingmyself at 1:42 PM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


I've got a question and a comment.

Q: Is it traditional to reveal yourself to your quonsee? My impulse would be to stay as anonymous as possible, just enough details for the return address on the package, so that the gift comes from the general good spirit of Mother Quonsmas. What do others do?

C: Instead of expecting my quonsor to get the perfect thing for me, I'm hoping to get the perfect thing from them. I've got family who know exactly what I like; I'm hoping my quonsor to gift something unexpected that they know about. Which I guess is just my way of saying that my sign-up guidance is only guidance; feel free to leave it behind. And handmade is good too: food, crafts, writing. etc.. If you're writing a poem, make it about owls, because why not.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:44 PM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


...among the leaves so green?

More among the page so grey, really.
posted by ilana at 2:13 PM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Q: Is it traditional to reveal yourself to your quonsee?

A: It is a matter of preference. Some never reveal their identity, some don't reveal until a comment of thanks appears in the post-quonsing thank you thread, some reveal their identity in the gift packaging itself, and some get in touch before the gift is even sent (if they anticipate issues, or need some clarification).

Note: if you need to reach your quonsee before you send your package, the organizers of SQ can act as go-betweens so that you don't have to reveal your identity unless you want to.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:14 PM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]


Instead of expecting my quonsor to get the perfect thing for me, I'm hoping to get the perfect thing from them. I've got family who know exactly what I like; I'm hoping my quonsor to gift something unexpected that they know about.

Me too! I already hate making a Christmas list for my mom, let alone Internet strangers. I'd much rather receive something completely random that my SQ was totally into and wanted to share.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 9:23 PM on November 6, 2014 [2 favorites]


Everyone who has signed up should have received a confirmation email by now. If you haven't already, please check it to make sure you've entered your postal address correctly (including zip codes!), and you are happy with the guidance provided. Please let us know if there is information to be updated.
posted by julen at 1:57 AM on November 7, 2014


Yay! Count me in for my second year.
posted by Songdog at 2:46 PM on November 7, 2014


To whoever gets me as a quonsee: please don't feel intimidate by my wishlist. It's an experimental project for multiple swaps, so just read what you can!
posted by divabat at 3:25 PM on November 7, 2014


Just signed up for year two of quonsar. I swear, if I had infinite monies and time, everyone could just send their quonsar wishlist to me and I would fulfill it merrily, but not whistling all the way as I cannot whistle.
posted by pandalicious at 12:44 AM on November 8, 2014


A helpful tip for folks who want to remain anonymous but are using a service like UPS to send mail: If you actually go to the UPS delivery location (like a UPS Store or any other location that offers UPS shipping) and pay for the shipping from there, the return address will be the UPS location and not yours. That way anonymity can be maintained. This is something I learned when I received my package last year and when I looked up the address, it was for the UPS Store in their state. Not sure if this works for other international shippers, but it doesn't hurt to look into it.
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:25 AM on November 8, 2014 [1 favorite]


I got the signup notifications email again, with the same raw html.
posted by divabat at 5:39 PM on November 8, 2014


That was me. Clearly I need remedial script training.
posted by arcticseal at 8:37 PM on November 8, 2014 [1 favorite]


pandalicious: in that case, if I draw your name I'll send you a whistle.
posted by easily confused at 6:50 AM on November 9, 2014


i am confused by the multiple emails and am not sure if I've been signed up or not. Help me!
posted by corb at 3:27 PM on November 9, 2014


Corb - that's an elven mistake on my part. Please ignore any second email sent out yesterday.
posted by arcticseal at 4:04 PM on November 9, 2014


Quonsmas PSA-Quonsmas PSA-Quonsmas PSA-Quonsmas PSA-Quonsmas PSA

Gentle reminder that signups end Monday night (11:59 Eastern time). Please sign up via the Sign Up link if you wish to participate.

Key Dates: Participants will find out who they have drawn on Wednesday, November 12, and the send by (or on) date is Monday, December 1.
posted by arcticseal at 4:08 PM on November 9, 2014


So, this is what is going on:

Google is in the midst upgrading Google Drive/Docs. And they are updating/converting spreadsheets from an old style to a new style. They aren't doing this account-by-account but by spreadsheet-by-spreadsheet (or doc by doc). So half of our documents are old style, and half are new-style. And in the conversion, web addresses changed, scripts didn't work quite the same way, and google sometimes present spreadsheets as if they were the form that feeds the spreadsheet, sometimes as if they were the spreadsheet, and sometimes as if they were two entirely different documents (both of which link to the same spreadsheet!

It's fascinating, but I think we've finally figured out all the in-progress changes. Whee.
posted by julen at 1:08 AM on November 10, 2014 [3 favorites]


The conversion has had a number of odd side-effects - a changed URL for the signup form, sending out email as raw text when it was managed HTML last year, other formatting issues, et cetera.

On the good news front, 370 folks have signed up so far!
posted by julen at 1:16 AM on November 10, 2014 [3 favorites]


On the good news front, 370 folks have signed up so far!

In case anyone else was interested, I grabbed these stats from the wiki:
The first Secret Quonsar, in 2007, had 73 participants.

The second Secret Quonsar, in 2008, more than doubled participation with 164 Mefites joining in.

2009 saw 252 participants joining in the fun.

In 2011, 315 people signed up, in 6 swap groups: International, USA only, UK only, Canada only, Europe, Asia & Australia. 54% of people who signed up went for International (send anywhere, receive from anywhere).

In 2012, 359 people signed up in 4 swap groups (International, USA Only, UK Only, Canada Only)

In 2013, there were 368 participants from 15 Countries and 6 Continents in 6 swap groups (International, US Only, UK Only, Canada Only, Europe Only, and Australia/New Zealand)
posted by Room 641-A at 8:19 AM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


73 - 164 - 252 - ? - 315 - 359 - 368 - 370.
Huh. At this rate, we'll need to start adding fractional Mefites next year...
posted by RedOrGreen at 10:58 AM on November 10, 2014 [2 favorites]


We're up to 380 now, with a little less than 9 hours still to sign up (or change your swap group).
posted by julen at 12:22 PM on November 10, 2014


Signups are now closed. (I accidentally fell asleep earlier, so there were a bonus 2 hours and 49 minutes of signup fun, in which several people did the equivalent of Indiana Jones rolling under a closing door. Whee!)

Tomorrow, there we will be reviewing the signups, setting up the hamster wheels of randomization, creating the drafts of swap notifications, stretching our fingers, and putting together the first stats of the season. Happy quonsmas, everyone.
posted by julen at 11:54 PM on November 10, 2014 [10 favorites]


ponders whether falling asleep accidentally during sales meetings might actually help revenue
posted by infini at 9:09 AM on November 11, 2014


Oh no!! I went on a MeFi break for increased internet hygiene and now I missed the sign-up! Is it too late to be included?
posted by cubby at 9:18 AM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]


Eep! I forgot to send my signup in too! Can you squeeze me in too? If not, have fun everyone!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:11 AM on November 11, 2014


Damn, missed it. Too late for one more?
posted by schleppo at 11:39 AM on November 11, 2014


OK. If you email the gmail account or memail me today (before 9PM EST), I will slide you in.

I need to know:


User Name
Real Name
Address
Which swap group (international, us only, uk only, canada only, europe, aus/nz)u want to be in
Guidance.

Happy quonsmas.
posted by julen at 12:12 PM on November 11, 2014 [6 favorites]


It's a Quonsmas miracle!
posted by MsVader at 12:45 PM on November 11, 2014 [6 favorites]


Oh, and email address! I need that so we can send you sq emails (like who you drew! or updates from your quonsar!)
posted by julen at 2:25 PM on November 11, 2014


Hey!! Wake up! It's tomorrow already!

*Starts panting with anticipation*
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 1:38 AM on November 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


I got my swap! So excited to start shopping...
posted by billiebee at 2:30 AM on November 12, 2014


The hamsters have begun sending out the swap notifications.

While they seem to be doing it one by one, I thought I'd do the first stats of the season:

secret quonsar: the stats

393 people have signed up, hailing from 19 Countries on 5 continents & Oceania in 6 different swaps: International, Europe, Australia/New Zealand, UK only, Canada only, and US only. We hail from 42 US States, 6 Canadian provinces, and 2 Australian states, not to mention two national capital districts. Apparently only 1 of us lives on Earth.

The international swap is the largest swap, but it has only 3 more participants than the US only swap.

There has been a shocking upturn in the usage of the phrase "Go Nuts". Of the 43 people who used that term, 8 of you were not particularly helpful, and 5 more were mildly helpful. I strongly suspect you will be getting anonymized queries from your quonsars.

There is at least one pair who have drawn each other's names.

Oh, look the hamsters say they're done. They're muttering things about donuts and catching their plane, so I probably should end this here.
posted by julen at 2:33 AM on November 12, 2014 [10 favorites]


The email seems to be stamped 11/11/14 at 7:14, which is when I generated the emails last night, as opposed to 11/12/14 at elbow o'morning, which is when I actually sent out the emails.

So you might have to sift down your email inbox a bit. Sorry about that - we'll have a more accurate timestamp next year.
posted by julen at 2:38 AM on November 12, 2014


Holy snappin' duckshit, Batman. Dare I check my emails? I think I will.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 3:25 AM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


EXCITEMENT OVERLOAD!

Is it weird that I'm crying with relief and delight? It is, isn't it? I don't care. This is going to be challenging and fun, and may the gods of Quonsmas smile upon you all, as they have me.

YAY!
posted by malibustacey9999 at 3:33 AM on November 12, 2014


eeeeeeeeeeeee So excited!

I lost count of how many times I said, "Me, too!" while reading my quonsee's guidance. Could I have drawn my alter ego?
posted by erloteiel at 3:42 AM on November 12, 2014


Amazing. Just looked over the posting-history of my Quonsee™. This person will be so frikken easy to buy for. Is there a stat for the fastest-package-fulfillment?

Because, they're getting their package ... like... tomorrow.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 4:16 AM on November 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


The fastest package delivery record is nearly unbeatable. It's 5 minutes. That's what happens when a husband draws his wife's name.
posted by julen at 4:51 AM on November 12, 2014 [4 favorites]


I spent the bus ride to campus this morning humming Quonsmas Carols! I'm so excited!
posted by ChuraChura at 5:02 AM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


I immediately looked up my quonsee and after looking at all the comments they've made on the blue, grey, and green, I wanted to add them as a contact and favorite some comments immediately. But that would give away the game!

Does anyone else have this problem?
posted by TrishaLynn at 6:12 AM on November 12, 2014 [8 favorites]


I am so, so excited - my Quonsee wrote me a wonderfully long guidance note! I am kind of bad at the "just go nuts" quonsing (what if they hate my gift???) so it's especially exciting to get a lot of details about my Quonsee - they have many similar interests to me and gave me so many ideas! Hurray!
posted by meggan at 6:12 AM on November 12, 2014


I got a name! I got a name! Lots of ideas!

Happee Quonsmas Ever One!
posted by mochapickle at 6:19 AM on November 12, 2014


My quonsee is freaking adorable and I can't wait to start picking out her gifties!!!
posted by Sophie1 at 6:54 AM on November 12, 2014


Does anyone else have this problem?
posted by TrishaLynn at 8:12 AM on November 12


I have that problem as well. Also I could give her an answer to a question she asked ten years ago. (Unless she didn't ever read a lot of Madeline L'Engle.)
posted by artychoke at 7:29 AM on November 12, 2014


Oh, I forgot to add Squeeeeeeee! Seeeecret Quonsar!
posted by artychoke at 7:31 AM on November 12, 2014


+1 person who also has to restrain herself from adding a bunch of favorites to old answers/comments by Quonsee.

I'm really excited and a little nervous to buy for mine - her tastes and interests are quite different than my own, but she seems pretty awesome. I don't want to disappoint!
posted by Fig at 7:38 AM on November 12, 2014


The fastest package delivery record is nearly unbeatable. It's 5 minutes. That's what happens when a husband draws his wife's name.
Any package that a husband quonser can deliver to his wife quonsee in 5 minutes is: (a) probably not on the approved list for general quonsing; (b) 5 minutes? c'mon dude.
posted by drlith at 7:44 AM on November 12, 2014 [6 favorites]


What about fastest finding of random stuff mentioned by SQ in guidance?

Was thrilled to find something that I hope "fits" and excitedly told the salesperson too ;p
posted by infini at 7:48 AM on November 12, 2014


Ok it's ON.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:50 AM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm excited because my quonsee is pretty new to metafilter - I hope I can make their first quonsmas fun!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:00 AM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is pretty nifty. I'm so excited, the challenge is going to be not going overboard.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 8:25 AM on November 12, 2014


I'm excited because my quonsee is pretty new to metafilter - I hope I can make their first quonsmas fun!

My quonsee's been around, like, forever but hasn't posted or commented too much recently. Excited that my quonsee has come out for SQ!
posted by mochapickle at 8:27 AM on November 12, 2014


It's the most quansical time of the year! Very excited to get my quonsee their gift!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:21 AM on November 12, 2014


Apologies if this has been mentioned, but is this a SECRET secret quansor? Like, do I not sign the gift and it's just a box with a random present in it, or is it just secret until they get their gift and see the card or whatever?
posted by Weeping_angel at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2014


Asked and answered.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:38 AM on November 12, 2014


Thanks!
posted by Weeping_angel at 9:40 AM on November 12, 2014


I've never done SQ before, but now that I have my quonsee I am ALL IN. This is so exciting!
posted by kostia at 11:13 AM on November 12, 2014


Oh, this is so exciting! My quonsee was very specific about certain categories of things so I have lots of ideas already! I think I may get a whole bunch of little things in a bunch of categories so I can send a bunch of little presents to open. This is really the funnest gift exchange of the season.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:15 AM on November 12, 2014


I don't crochet, so my quonsee is getting a needle felted octopus.

Or possibly some other animal if the octopus does not turn out.

Maybe I should send both. My quonsee has a cat and wonky octopi probably make great cat toys. The cat won't care if the eyes are crooked, right?
posted by AllieTessKipp at 11:30 AM on November 12, 2014


Got my quonsmatch this morning as I was in the midst of getting ready for work. Very excited about the quest for quonsing items.
posted by sciencegeek at 11:47 AM on November 12, 2014


My quonsee has a cat and wonky octopi probably make great cat toys. The cat won't care if the eyes are crooked, right?

Especially if you stuff them with catnip. I'm at work now, but can deliver a Metafilter craft swap enabled reply video confirming this this evening.
posted by maryr at 12:05 PM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Also! I am very excited anf have far too many ideas for my Quonsee, so they'll get what I like sending best - a box filled with stuff.
posted by maryr at 12:07 PM on November 12, 2014


*ponders viability of using Tom of Finland postage stamps*
posted by infini at 12:15 PM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ohhhh, this is a perfect draw! I stalked him a bunch anyway just for fun, but I very quickly realized that I know how to make my quonsdraw do little cartwheels of w00p! when his package arrives. Ha haaaaaa, I can't wait!
posted by heyho at 12:19 PM on November 12, 2014


Oh thank God, I have got someone easy to buy for. I even know which shops I will be going to.
posted by biffa at 1:03 PM on November 12, 2014


Metafilter: No one likes an angry marmoset covered in bubblewrap and duct tape.
posted by deludingmyself at 1:05 PM on November 12, 2014 [3 favorites]


Especially the marmoset.
posted by arcticseal at 1:11 PM on November 12, 2014 [5 favorites]


Metafilter: No one likes an angry marmoset covered in bubblewrap and duct tape.

Speak for yourself...
posted by billiebee at 1:32 PM on November 12, 2014


Welp, I've got the bubblewrap and duct tape (moving house in just under 2 weeks) but the marmosets are hibernating in this neck of the arctic
posted by infini at 1:33 PM on November 12, 2014


I had a shitty morning which was brightened by the Quonsmas email, which was a gift that kept on giving throughout the day as More Shit kept happening and I could go to my happy place by thinking 'Oh, I will get That Thing from this shop and then those two stores will probably have More Good Things' and just generally thinking of possible presents and grinning in the face of dystopia. THANK YOU QUONCZARS FOR SAVING WINTER I am pretty excited I hope my quonsee likes their stuff even though it will not include octopods because everyone seems to be making pretty cool octopods and i am not which i find disappointing but hopefully i will not disappoint my quons maybe next year i will learn to knit a squid or like maybe a marmoset
posted by you must supply a verb at 2:24 PM on November 12, 2014 [3 favorites]


My quonsee has a cat and wonky octopi probably make great cat toys. The cat won't care if the eyes are crooked, right?

Especially if you stuff them with catnip.


Except, of course, my cat who doesn't play with toys and isn't affected by catnip. I have a weird cat. But if I got a gift like that, I could put in on the Quansmas tree. :)
posted by patheral at 3:47 PM on November 12, 2014


I've never not enjoyed quonsmas shopping, but this year was the first year I got my quonsee's info, gasped a little, and thought "oh my God, I know just the things!"
posted by ActionPopulated at 3:55 PM on November 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ran into my Metafilter-using colleague last week and got all excited discussing our first Quonsmas and what we were hoping to receive. I was late to work stalking my quonsee online this morning after getting my email. Can't wait to see what everyone winds up with!
posted by JannaK at 5:18 PM on November 12, 2014


Alright! Just ordered my stuff for my quonsee. I hope you don't mind that it's all coming from different places, I want it to get to you as soon as possible!
posted by divabat at 5:23 PM on November 12, 2014


Holy cow is someone already done!
I am a little nervous about mine and the very brief directions. But I am very hopeful I will do right by them.
posted by Glinn at 5:29 PM on November 12, 2014


I've found some awesome ideas that bring me to the top of the price range, but the shipping is KILLER (like, almost the spending limit itself). I'll either have to brainstorm some different ideas or just suck it up and shell out for the shipping costs. Curse you, evil spendy mail gods!
posted by MsVader at 5:46 PM on November 12, 2014


I was so excited, I just went out and got almost everything together, I just need to find a box and shipping supplies!!

Now comes the trepidation of hoping they're the right SQ offerings...
posted by jetlagaddict at 6:26 PM on November 12, 2014


Mine won't be shipped out anytime soon, but I will make the deadline. Without giving anything away... I have to buy some yarn first...
posted by patheral at 8:21 PM on November 12, 2014 [3 favorites]


Today I learned that a marmoset is a kind of monkey and not some sort of large, cheerful type of rodent, like a marmot or a beaver or a woodchuck, as I had assumed. I found this perfect item that I was going to try to pass off as a marmoset and stay on theme for 2014, but turns out it's really more wombat-adjacent than monkey.
posted by mochapickle at 9:23 PM on November 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


Been shopping today. I'm sending snakes, frogs and a drop-bear (amongst other things) to the other side of the planet.

(But they're not alive, and also not in bubblewrap and duct-tape, I promise. But not knitted either.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 1:10 AM on November 13, 2014


mochapickle, don't you know about the long and glorious tradition of the Quonsmas Wombat? It wouldn't be Quonsmas without a wombat. Send the wombat. Or wombat-adjacent item.
posted by you must supply a verb at 1:16 AM on November 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


Guys! My Secret Quonsar has already sent me - and my cat! - our presents! I haven't received anything yet, but I am so excited to! Thanks, arcticseal!
posted by ChuraChura at 5:27 AM on November 13, 2014


I was confused! My secret quonsar is not ArcticSeal, but they were delivering the message! So thank you, Arcticseal for conveying messages and not claiming to have sent a probably AWESOME present, and thank you, mysterious secret quonsar whose identity is still unknown, for my probably AWESOME present!
posted by ChuraChura at 6:04 AM on November 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: more wombat-adjacent than monkey.
posted by maryr at 6:30 AM on November 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


I ordered some things today, which is the most organised about gift-buying I have been EVER! Was very excited, and then (too late) checked the shipping costs... Ah well, hopefully it will be worth it to put a smile on a stranger's face, and I'm sure my actual friends and family will be happy with gifts which don't cost much but are of sentimental value.

by "gifts" I mean "crap I found at the back of the wardrobe" and by "sentimental value" I mean they can double up as a memento of the time they murdered me for spending all my money on an internet stranger
posted by billiebee at 7:34 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


I've just had a nice afternoon thinking of a gift that might meet my quonsee's lovely request. Hopefully I've nailed it, if not I hope I make them smile. And bonus fun is that it should be there by Dec 1st too!
posted by SuckPoppet at 7:34 AM on November 13, 2014


On the off chance you got me and just read my epic metawishlist: I just made an important addition! (Just that I hate licorice).
posted by divabat at 11:13 AM on November 13, 2014


Wow, the Etsy person I ordered from was very punctual, so my giftee is getting a very early gift.
posted by smackfu at 12:15 PM on November 13, 2014


I just have to say that I am reminded every year how wonderful people who quons are. It's a really nice pick up this time of year.
posted by julen at 12:24 PM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


Just remember one word, julen, one word.

Octopods.
posted by infini at 12:45 PM on November 13, 2014


I now feel tremendous pressure to ship an AWESOME present to my Quonsee. Let's just hypothetically say it is fantabulous and leave it at that.
posted by arcticseal at 12:48 PM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


My quonsee is awesome and we have a lot of interests in common! I just hope they don't already have any of the stuff I'm sending them. I would send them anonymous questions, but I don't want to give away the nature of the gifts. :(
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 1:00 PM on November 13, 2014 [2 favorites]


I ordered things for my quonsee already too. One of them shipped today. One other is ordered, but depends on the goodwill of a sort-of-famous person to finish it in a timely fashion. And one is arguably from space.
posted by kostia at 1:08 PM on November 13, 2014


Ordered my quonsee's gifts today! Should get there in a week or so.
posted by cozenedindigo at 2:19 PM on November 13, 2014


So after mochapickle's marmot/marmoset epiphany this morning (well. my this morning), some sort of octopus/marmoset/wombat tale started trying to take shape in my head. First it was like a Bremen Town Musicians feel, then by the time I was walking to the train at the end of the day I was having fantasies of people making Quonsmas stories and art based on this trio, which culminated in my really wishing I was artistic enough to pull off a nativity scene with a huge glorious octopus in a human-infant-sized manger, with proud parents Marmoset (pygmy marmoset, obv) and Wombat looking blissfully and (justifiably!) proudly on their new babe. Although I do think there's something more poetic about Marmot and Marmoset. Plus marmots are cuter. But not marsupials, sadly, and that's such a cool thing.

There might be an unasked-for homemade gift in my Quonsee's box in addition to the other goodies.

I apologise in advance.
posted by you must supply a verb at 2:37 PM on November 13, 2014 [2 favorites]


Felted octopodes are a go. I repeat, felted octopodes are a go.
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:59 PM on November 13, 2014 [4 favorites]


I can't even. I had no idea felted octopodes even came this small.
posted by kostia at 4:52 PM on November 13, 2014 [3 favorites]


The Cambodian snake wine vendor I have contacted is reporting shipping delays due to a methanol contamination. Don't worry though, the snakeskins are 100% genuine and the package should be delivered on time.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:00 PM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]


As promised, my cat enjoying an octopus.
posted by maryr at 8:05 PM on November 13, 2014 [4 favorites]


All year, every year, y'all panic about how dangerous Australian animals are, and NOW I find out I should have included a wombat (which scratches and bites and can write off your car if you're unlucky enough to hit one on the road)?!?

Good grief. Some people are hard to please.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:11 AM on November 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


Since it seems some folks will be getting their gifts relatively soon ... if your gift arrives, look to see if there is a sq thank you thread and if there isn't one, please create it!
posted by julen at 9:19 AM on November 14, 2014


So the octopus theme everyone's going with. If, hypothetically, one's Quonsee lives in Japan, and theoretically the Quonsar was making something that the Quonsee would possibly wear around in public, would it be weird/creepy if the Quonsar sewed octopus tentacles on the thing? Not an octopus, just tentacles. 2 dimensional tentacles. The Quonsar happens to be good at sewing tentacles. In Japan, would that be...ew?
posted by artychoke at 9:29 AM on November 14, 2014


So the octopus theme everyone's going with.

No, not everyone!
posted by heyho at 9:39 AM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]


Yeah, I have no beef with cephalopods, but I have no intention of including any (or items with that theme) in my gifts.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:29 AM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


Okay, forget that I implied that everyone was cephalopoding. Tentacles: creepy or not?
posted by artychoke at 10:38 AM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hey! My SQ specifically mentioned octopods thus therefore and hence...
posted by infini at 11:04 AM on November 14, 2014


Okay, I just realized that the extensive Quonsar octopus discussion did not take place in this thread, but in this one.
posted by artychoke at 11:10 AM on November 14, 2014


There is now a thank you thread to ... well, thank folks for gifts, make your fellow quonsees jealous, and generally provide us all with gift ideas for our friends and families based on what folks got.

This thread is still great for questions and issues around gift selection and sending, quonsarin' etiquette, and the like.
posted by julen at 6:18 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]



OK, as I just announced in the other thread, we will do an OOPS, I MISSED THE SIGNUPS post draw secret quonsar swap.

This will be the last last chance to quons this year.

You must memail me or email the secretquonsarswap account your: mefi name, real world name, address, guidance, and email address by Monday morning at 6 am EST (That is 38ish hours away from this post). You will still have to shoot for the December 1 shipping deadline, and the rest of the usual rules apply, especially marmoset-related rules.
posted by julen at 10:37 AM on November 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


Thanks to a great description from my quonsee, I'm way ahead of the game this year! My gift is away!
posted by rouftop at 5:06 PM on November 18, 2014


I totally missed it this year. Too bad.
posted by koucha at 6:24 AM on November 26, 2014


:| If it will help for next year, we will keep this same schedule - signups at the beginning of November, buying and sending for the rest of November. Also!

Also, if you haven't already considered it, the sq signups are open! notification list may be of interest.
posted by julen at 8:08 AM on November 26, 2014


I mailed mine today. 8 days they said.
posted by infini at 12:19 PM on November 27, 2014


I quonsed, therefore I am....happy! The package was sent last Tuesday and should meander its way across the country by Wednesday, December 3rd.

This only my second year and I hope I did a better job this year than last year.
posted by Altomentis at 10:12 AM on November 29, 2014


I spent the afternoon remembering how to read crochet patterns, so now I, too, can crochet octopuses!
posted by ChuraChura at 9:28 PM on November 29, 2014


I got my gift! Adorable chocolate mice! Put them out at Thanksgiving and everyone loved them.

The bad news is my son "helpfully" put the wrapping in the bin before I could note the name. So, if you're out there, please make yourself known so I can thank you!

(Oops - posted in wrong thread. )
posted by dotgirl at 10:44 AM on November 30, 2014


My gift was mailed Monday.
posted by maryr at 6:46 PM on November 30, 2014


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