Distracting the boys

April 18, 2015 2:54 AM

I read it here in the last two years, but can't find it now; Can anyone link me to the post where a woman talks about how she was sent home from school for wearing spaghetti straps and exactly why that was so freaking unfair? Any similar articles about girl's attire and being sent home from school is of course also welcome.
posted by Omnomnom to MetaFilter-Related at 2:54 AM (20 comments total)

Are you sure it was on here? I've seen some really excellent posts about this from exceptionally articulate teenagers on Tumblr.
posted by NoraReed at 3:21 AM on April 18, 2015 [2 favorites]

I tried to google(site:metafilter.com -ask.metafilter.com) this in lots of combinations too because i remember it. It's definitely recent enough that i had returned from my hiatus, even. Which would put it somewhere in the past 2-3 years.

I kind of remember it being a story about something like this happening, but then the comments in the thread more discussed what you're saying... but i could be wrong.

It definitely was a post though, and i feel like it got an enormous pile of comments.
posted by emptythought at 4:23 AM on April 18, 2015 [1 favorite]

I immediately thought of this article from Slate about dress codes in schools, but I'm not sure if it was ever made into an FPP. It was published last June, for whatever that's worth.
posted by litera scripta manet at 4:49 AM on April 18, 2015

Is this what you were thinking of? It's about schools enforcing hair and dress codes in general. There's also this FPP about political statements via clothing, and there's also at least one FPP about corporate dress code that gets into the shaming that school dress codes are intended to do.
posted by zombieflanders at 4:56 AM on April 18, 2015

Yeah, I vaguely remember this too. Only wasn't it about being sent home from a dance? Whatever it was, it was a big controversy. Wasn't there a controversy regarding a girl at a dance being sent home due to parent monitors watching her from seating up above?

Anyway, here's a recent similar situation in Utah (new reading), where some girls discuss feeling singled out unfairly, and treated unfairly based on gender.
posted by Old Man McKay at 7:44 AM on April 18, 2015

Found that last story. It was a 17 year old attending a homeschooled dance of some kind. Her name was Clare, and she wrote up a blog post about the experience.

Her post was well received, and it got enough attention that the chaperones in question even came out and did interviews, I believe.
posted by Old Man McKay at 7:54 AM on April 18, 2015

It was a woman who was remembering an occurrence when she was a kid in the 90s, I think. She posted the picture of how she looked back then in the outfit that got her sent home. She also said that in contrast nobody in that school stopped the boys from harassing her even when she was appropriately dressed. That's all I remember!
Pretty sure I read it here, but it may have been linked in a comment, I guess?
posted by Omnomnom at 9:55 AM on April 18, 2015

I remember this too...I'll take a look, but I'm sure you're not imagining it! Or else a bunch of us are.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:50 PM on April 18, 2015

Here's a SLYT video blog with a young girl addressing slut shaming. It addresses dress code, and the comments also appear to discuss that.

Here's an Ask about a school administrator dealing with the same subject. The commenters go into detail about the differing expectations of boys and girls in school dress codes.
posted by codacorolla at 2:53 PM on April 18, 2015 [2 favorites]

"When I was in middle school, the powers that be decided to ban girls from wearing spaghetti strap tank-tops. Several of the girls organized a poster-campaign denouncing the fact that it was violating their constitutional "right to bare arms." They never got anywhere ("School is not a democracy" was the reponse). Still, it was pretty clever for middle schoolers."

By: cacofonie at 04:26pm on Jun 7
posted by Carol Anne at 9:27 AM on April 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

Teen Girls Sent Home From High School For ‘Distracting’ Boys With Their Visible Bra Straps [ThinkProgress]
posted by Little Dawn at 12:59 PM on April 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

How 'Slut Shaming' Has Been Written Into School Codes Across The Country [ThinkProgress]

What Do Dress Codes Say About Girls' Bodies? [Ms. Magazine blog]
posted by Little Dawn at 3:09 PM on April 19, 2015

School Bans Girls From Wearing Leggings Because They Are "Distracting" to Other Students [E*Online]

quoting North Dakota high school eliminates dangerous threat to male students: Yoga pants [Salon]

Enforcing School Dress Codes Teaches Girls to be Ashamed, Not 'Modest' [Alternet]

A constitutional right to leggings and long hair? When are school dress codes unfashionable? [Student Press Law Center]
posted by Little Dawn at 3:32 PM on April 19, 2015

Students at Stuyvesant Take Issue With Sexist Dress Code [Alternet]

citing Baring Shoulders and Knees, Students Protest a Dress Code [NYT]

Whose Dress Code Is It, and Why? [NYT Motherlode blog]

Girls Speak Out Against Sexist School Dress Codes [The Nation]

Students protest 'slut shaming' high school dress codes with mass walkouts [Guardian]

I've been running these links through the search box here, but so far I haven't found any posts referencing them...

I've also been looking for more about legal arguments or cases related to dress codes and claims for gender discrimination, but I haven't found much besides the Student Press Law Center link above and a post from the Vermont ACLU, which mentions "Some scholars believe the Supreme Court would be unlikely to overturn a school’s dress code unless it felt the code was really unreasonable or discriminatory," which groks with the SPLC post that notes:

In a 2-1 ruling issued in February, the federal Seventh Circuit decided that gender-based dress and grooming codes can violate both the federal Title IX gender discrimination statute as well as the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

and suggests:

The Hayden case provides interesting new avenues for challenging dress codes such as the "no leggings" rule that's currently provoking protests at a middle school in Evanston, Ill.

posted by Little Dawn at 4:14 PM on April 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

From Texas Monthly: Dress Code-Related Internet Outrage Is Fine, But Probably Won't Change a Thing.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:18 AM on April 20, 2015

Wow, you guys are great, thanks for the links!
posted by Omnomnom at 1:38 AM on April 21, 2015

Another one from Texas Monthly: Eisenhower High Abandons Problematic Prom Dress Policy, Teens Rejoice.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:33 AM on April 23, 2015

Huffpo: The Dress That Got A 5-Year-Old In Trouble With Her School.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:23 PM on April 23, 2015

Pennsylvania: Harrisburg prom dress deemed too 'revealing' triggers suspension; mom fights back.

"Alexus, who plans to graduate next month, said the assistant principal told her as much Tuesday. "She said, 'You have more boobs than other girls," Alexus said. "'The other girls have less to show.'""
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:16 PM on April 29, 2015

In other words, "Your body is inherently slutty and inappropriate."

Flames on the side of my goddamn face.
posted by Lexica at 4:41 PM on April 29, 2015