I was quoting ROMANCE May 23, 2015 2:53 PM   Subscribe

I would like to bring the mods' attention to a conspiracy that appears to have been operating for a number of years. This is not about me, specifically, but I think it's time that we, as a community, address how it has been affecting me.

I know everyone likes to pretend the "cabal" is just a "joke" tossed around by "jokey" "jokers," but I have been amassing evidence that it is ANYTHING BUT. The roots of this problem, as far as I can tell, date back to 2007, when I first met the mefite named zoomorphic. She soon convinced me that we were "friends", and I subsequently became "friends" with another mefite: her boyfriend, then fiancee, then husband, Optimus Chyme.

Over the course of the next few years, this couple frequently invited me over to their house for what they CLAIMED were innocent parties. However, their twisting, winding, snakelike plans became evident in the spring of 2012, when I, standing in their backyard, noticed their roommate's friend standing nearby - a frankly stunning woman whom I had never met before.

I would like to make it clear that I would have been MORE THAN HAPPY to simply NEVER SPEAK TO THIS WOMAN, except that a CERTAIN MEDDLER named Stynxno, who was also at this party, brought her over to where I was standing and thinking innocently about cats, and told me that this woman was, coincidentally, also a mefite. A mefite named likeatoaster.

Not wanting to be impolite, or to shy away from conversing with a fellow-filterererer, I INNOCENTLY started up a conversation in which it became clear that we had many things in common and enjoyed speaking with each other. So then I VERY INNOCENTLY asked if she was planning on attending the meetup that the young rope-rider was throwing on the following Wednesday.

This "likeatoaster", as was the name she went by (even though it was NOT her birth name), said she wasn't sure, but that she would try to make it.

Well, well. Wednesday night rolls around, and GUESS WHO decides to show up, conversing with me FURTHER like some kind of SKELETOR or EVIL LYNN (spelling? mods? plz correct the spelling of Evil Lynn, the henchwoman to Skeletor. i am trusting your judgement here, I am not even strictly speaking sure if "henchwoman" was Evil Lynn's official position, it was kind of unclear if they were like dating each other or just co-workers)

So after ONE event with mefites present, and ONE official mefi meetup, this SNEAKY SNEAKER and I had had TWO full conversations. She then drew me in further by leaving her book (a copy of Red Mars, by Kim Stanley Robinson) at the bar. So that I had to email her to tell her that I had helpfully taken her book home, and would be happy to return it to her. At which point she informed me that she had not brought that book to the bar, and that I had, in fact, stolen someone else's book.

Devious.

So at this point, this "mefite" (if she even IS a mefite) spent the following summer months away from NYC, knowing FULL WELL I would be spending those months thinking about her, and about her book, which was not her book, and who had I even stolen that book from. (some guy, as it turns out? some random guy who liked sci-fi? mods?) So that by the time she returned to NYC, I was CONNED into agreeing to meet her for a drink after innocently emailing her to ask if she wanted to get a drink.

Well, before I knew it, we were dating, and then we were moving to a new city together, and then I was somehow CONVINCED to ask her if she would marry me (possible neuro-linguistic programming? possible ESP? let's not rule this out, let's use Occam's Razor here), and then, naturally, having pulled all my strings with duplicitous angles like POSITIVE EMOTIONS and SUPPORT and JOYFUL COHABITATION, she said yes.

The NERVE.

I don't want to belabor this, but the end result of this CONSPIRACY is that today, we got married in Vermont, where jessamyn officiated our wedding. That's right: the conspiracy runs SO DEEP that even A FORMER MOD was a part of it.

I guess my point in posting this is not to shame anyone specifically (obviously, I would never name names), but to ask, as a community, how we can resolve this kind of thing. Am I surprised? Am I confused? Obviously. But this isn't about me. This has nothing to do with me. Please, I entreat you to stop thinking about me. This is about ALL OF US, and how, if we're not careful, ANY of us could be the next person caught up in a web of social connections that facilitate love on a site that was SUPPOSED TO BE about DISCUSSING THE LINKS
posted by Greg Nog to MetaFilter-Related at 2:53 PM (284 comments total) 406 users marked this as a favorite

Woohoo! Congrats!

EDIT: Also: All hail the cabal!
posted by small_ruminant at 2:57 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Devious! Where do the cravings for tagalongs come into it?
posted by Going To Maine at 2:59 PM on May 23, 2015


I'm so sorry this happened to you.
It is an OUTRAGE.

congrats! that's awesome!
posted by chococat at 3:01 PM on May 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


Aw, this is wonderful! Hope you two are very happy! (jessamyn officiating...! I think that would be something.)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:01 PM on May 23, 2015


TL;DR
posted by briank at 3:02 PM on May 23, 2015 [14 favorites]


This was such a lovely ceremony.
posted by mountmccabe at 3:02 PM on May 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


Ah, excellent, I see everything is proceeding according to The Plan.
posted by Ruki at 3:04 PM on May 23, 2015 [10 favorites]


Wait wait wait. You got married TODAY? And you're posting to MetaTalk?!?!
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:06 PM on May 23, 2015 [82 favorites]


There Is No Cabal Celebration.
posted by Lemurrhea at 3:09 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


THIS IS OUTRAGEOUSly adorable
posted by kagredon at 3:12 PM on May 23, 2015 [21 favorites]


Aww, you made me cry, Greg Nog. I've only met you once IRL, but you impressed me as a great guy and were so friendly to me and everyone else at the NoHo meet-up many moons ago.

Just wanted to let you know that my husband used to work for Tony Robbins and he knows NLP, and taught it to me, so while we were standing around outside the bar in NoHo, I implanted these suggestions into your head. Now I see it's finally paying off!!!

Anyone who wants TRUE ROMANCE can write to me for my book.

CONGRATS from the sekret CABAL.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 3:12 PM on May 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


Please, I entreat you to stop thinking about me.

OK
posted by Wolfdog at 3:16 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations on your discovery of the conspiracy.
posted by sciencegeek at 3:19 PM on May 23, 2015


Congrats! Wish you lots of happiness together! (mods?)
posted by catchingsignals at 3:21 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


LOVED ALL YOUR LIFE
posted by bleep at 3:21 PM on May 23, 2015 [44 favorites]


Aw.
posted by gaspode at 3:21 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


The cabal works in romantic and wonderful ways. I certainly hope the canal conspires to keep you both happy for many years to come.

HOORAY!
posted by rmd1023 at 3:21 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


So cool! Congrats :)
posted by Calzephyr at 3:26 PM on May 23, 2015


I know more about this than you can possibly imagine.... we all do.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:27 PM on May 23, 2015 [16 favorites]


Now, before we all get excited about the apparently beneficent character of this conspiracy, maybe we should consider the relative merits of meeting and falling in love with someone and discussing the links. Speaking rationally, I must give preference to the latter, and am willing to post at least 153 comments in this thread to defend my position, on which I have written at length at other online fora, making it completely ironclad, no matter how many times my conviction in it has gotten me banned.

Thank you both for giving me this opportunity to bring enlightenment to the benighted denizens of this horrid excuse for a message board.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:35 PM on May 23, 2015 [22 favorites]


MARRIAGES FOR THE MARRIAGE GOD

No, that's not right.....

RICK. RICK. LOVE IS HOW WE FEEL INSIDE, RICK

No, no...

WHAT THE FU-

Nah, that ain't right either.

THERE IS NO LOVE CABAL

Wait, I think I've got it now

METAFILTER: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

So very happy for you both. May you have a long and beautiful marriage!
posted by zarq at 3:37 PM on May 23, 2015 [50 favorites]


Reader, I married them.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:48 PM on May 23, 2015 [395 favorites]


...you may have made a mistake, she thought red mars was boring.
posted by knapah at 3:51 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


MAY YOU BOTH BE FAVOURED WITH THE FUTURE OF YOUR CHOICE

MAY YOU LIVE TO SEE A THOUSAND REASONS TO REJOICE
posted by poffin boffin at 3:51 PM on May 23, 2015 [35 favorites]


[muffled kossack dancing in the distance]
posted by poffin boffin at 3:52 PM on May 23, 2015 [22 favorites]


METACLERGY!
Congrats, and what a post!
posted by clavdivs at 3:54 PM on May 23, 2015


I laughed, I cried, I read a hymn to Hestia.

All the love in the world to Greg, Heather, Thunder, and Caliban!
posted by ausdemfenster at 3:57 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


yay!!!!!!

<3 <3
posted by nadawi at 4:06 PM on May 23, 2015


Awwwwww, so sweet! Congratulations!
posted by Dip Flash at 4:07 PM on May 23, 2015


The groundhog is heartbroken.
posted by Etrigan at 4:12 PM on May 23, 2015


You've cracked the code. Wait until your new wife finds out you're the only known portrait of Shakespeare drawn during his lifetime.

It's a confusing cabal on purpose, none of us knowing what that purpose is...

Except of course, as Vonnegut said, we are all here to help each other through this thing, whatever it is.

Carry on in matrimonial bliss, and remember to always be kind to one another.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:12 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
posted by ellieBOA at 4:17 PM on May 23, 2015


Congratulations! All best wishes for a beautiful future.
posted by Pardon Our Dust at 4:20 PM on May 23, 2015


Congratulations, Nogs!
posted by bakerina at 4:21 PM on May 23, 2015


IF YOUR CONTACT STATUS DOES NOT CHANGE TO SPOUSE TO REFLECT YOUR IRL STATUS I SUSPECT ALL OF THIS MAY BE A SHENANIGAN OR TWO SHENANIGANS
posted by cgc373 at 4:23 PM on May 23, 2015 [26 favorites]


How wonderful for you both. Your dedication in stealing an innocent person's book to engineer another meeting and secure likeatoaster's private details was endearing and sweet. Congratulations, guys.
posted by smoke at 4:25 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


(Repeating glass clinks)
posted by clavdivs at 4:26 PM on May 23, 2015


Yay. *Throws cats*.
posted by adamvasco at 4:34 PM on May 23, 2015 [16 favorites]


CONGRATS!
posted by terrapin at 4:34 PM on May 23, 2015


congratulations team nogtoaster!
posted by en forme de poire at 4:36 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


Official congrats to you both! Can't wait to celebrate the post-nuptials and hang out a few more times this Summer before you head off to the land of Bourbon and Baseball Bats™.

Also I now have an unofficial life goal of being married by Jessamyn and buried by ColdChef. It's probably not as far-fetched as it sounds.
posted by Ufez Jones at 4:38 PM on May 23, 2015 [18 favorites]


*draws red MSPaint arrows all over your wedding photos* ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED
posted by NoraReed at 4:42 PM on May 23, 2015 [11 favorites]


Reader, I married them.

We'd heard you were polymarryous, but I didn't believe it until now.

Congratulations Greg Nog and likeatoaster!
posted by jamjam at 4:46 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I subsequently became "friends" with another mefite: her boyfriend, then fiancee, then husband, Optimus Chyme.

Well it figures that it all starts with Chyme. He's nothing but trouble.

(Also I thought Red Mars was boring, too.)
posted by octobersurprise at 4:50 PM on May 23, 2015


Fantastic news! Mazel tov!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 4:50 PM on May 23, 2015


It has long been considered auspicious to marry on Eurovision Day. May your life be an unbroken run of middle-aged Balkan balladeers, animal-themed dancing, campy lessons in European geopolitics and drunk people telling you the result of the vote.
posted by Kattullus at 4:51 PM on May 23, 2015 [34 favorites]


YAAAAYYYYY!!!! Congratulations! I am so happy for you both!
posted by rtha at 4:51 PM on May 23, 2015


This is so great!!! I wish many years of joy and happiness for you both!! ❤️❤️❤️
posted by pearlybob at 4:54 PM on May 23, 2015


This is the best! Congratulations to you both.
posted by billiebee at 4:54 PM on May 23, 2015


Woohoo! Congrats, you crazy kids.

I met you both in Nashua once, and Mr. Nog once before that. Good people. Real good people.

I knew y'all were getting hitched but I didn't know Jessamyn was doing the service. That's extra awesome!
posted by bondcliff at 4:55 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations to you both!
posted by gauche at 5:00 PM on May 23, 2015


Now you can get a cabal modem.


Congratulations!
posted by pjern at 5:02 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


The two mefites in question once slept in my living room so I think technically this post is about me
posted by shakespeherian at 5:02 PM on May 23, 2015 [13 favorites]


I, for one, welcome our new happily married couple overlords.
posted by duffell at 5:03 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Couldn't have happened to a nicer couple of people. Congratulations!
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:06 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is *exactly* what this site needed right now. Congratulations, my good sir! So very happy for you both. :D
posted by shiu mai baby at 5:07 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I blame the grapefruit
posted by shakespeherian at 5:08 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


Congratulations! What a wonderful day for marriage!
posted by epj at 5:13 PM on May 23, 2015


I'm not sure I approve of Same-Mefite marriage myself
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on May 23, 2015 [22 favorites]


everyone join in
posted by griphus at 5:14 PM on May 23, 2015 [9 favorites]


Also 🎉💗👏🌟🎂✨🍕💍
posted by The Whelk at 5:15 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


This is simply the best thing I have ever read.
posted by stoneweaver at 5:17 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I remember the night you met! Thrilled to have been there to witness the beginnings! Much love and blessings to both of you.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:22 PM on May 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


BOOYAH. Congrats you two. Blessings, love, and all the things for y'all.
posted by Stynxno at 5:26 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Something old, something new, something borrowed, the front page....
posted by the man of twists and turns at 5:30 PM on May 23, 2015 [14 favorites]


It has long been considered auspicious to marry on Eurovision Day.
And it's also the day of the National Cartoonists Society Reuben Awards, better known as "let's give Stephen Patsis 2nd place day". A perfect day to cast your pearls...

My lifelong experience with marriage (starting with my parents) is that the only happy marriages I know of include at least one Mefite, but preferably two.

I toast you both... with nog.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:31 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Scene from our house:

stynxno: Ahh, and the Metafilter Wiki is already updated!
Me: Who do you think updated it?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:31 PM on May 23, 2015 [25 favorites]


Best MeTa ever! Congratulations to both of you!
posted by dialetheia at 5:38 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Can the Cabal please call me? After reading this I realize I need to up my hailing.

And congrats!
posted by artof.mulata at 5:44 PM on May 23, 2015


Oh my, that was adorable. Congratulations Greg Nog and likeatoaster!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:46 PM on May 23, 2015


CONGRATS GREG AND LIKEATOASTER!

Great engagement announcement.

Great everything. Happy days!
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:50 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was convinced you were dating SOMEONE from this site, and was certain I knew who it was, and would very often smirk to myself and sigh with appreciative happiness whenever you two would interact with each other inthread. But no, you couldn't leave well enough alone, and had the unmitigated gall to announce here, in Metatalk, that all along you were actually in a relationship with someone completely different?

Fucking flagged, man. I know the lurkers will support me in MeMail when I say that this is over the line. Mods, please ban Greg Nog for this 11-dimensional long-game trolling.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:01 PM on May 23, 2015 [12 favorites]


The correct spelling is Evil-Lyn, geez. Do some research before posting.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:02 PM on May 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


I mean, CONGRATULATIONS! May your married life be long and happy! May your cats' bladders never develop crystals!
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:03 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]




Oh, I always conspiracy theorize at weddings.

Congrats!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:14 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


YAAAAAAY! Congratulations!!
posted by xingcat at 6:15 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations you crazy kids.
posted by trunk muffins at 6:17 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


However, their twisting, winding, snakelike plans became evident

Oh, man. If you plan like a snake, you win like a snake. If the cabal plans are snake plans, no one even has a chance.

TBH, snakes are great at relationships because relationships are just another form of planning. So, the cabal probably picked you a better mate than you could have chosen for yourself anyway. The invisible snakes of the cabal are a lot like the infallible invisible hand of the Adam Smith that way. In fact, they may even know each other and have their kids at the same daycare.
posted by ignignokt at 6:19 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh, so THAT'S why there were so many invisible guests. They were snakes!
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:30 PM on May 23, 2015


Congrats. (although, I'm confused. was this woman with you when you found me on the subway with the popeyes meal?)
posted by jonmc at 6:33 PM on May 23, 2015


Congrats. And Evil Lynn and Skeletor never dated, he was married to his work.
posted by emjaybee at 6:51 PM on May 23, 2015


Congrats, likeatoaster and Greg Nog!
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 6:56 PM on May 23, 2015


Let me just point something out:

griphus' link above contains a Vine of a guy in a kilt dancing the hora at a wedding in a barn in Vermont.

Somehow that feels like the concentrated essence of Metafilter right there.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:58 PM on May 23, 2015 [17 favorites]


Congratulations, Greg Nog and likeatoaster!

Well done jessamyn of the peace.
posted by plinth at 7:13 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


The cabal which does not exist is/was/will be pleased. Your union was/is/will be foretold. Your eternal happiness is/was/will be a happy side effect of your entrance into the cabal. Which, while currently not existing, is none the less quivering with joy like a well done blancmange.
posted by dejah420 at 7:13 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


congratz!
posted by juv3nal at 7:15 PM on May 23, 2015


Congratulations toasterNog!
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 7:18 PM on May 23, 2015


*loud whistling, stomping of feet, banging on table*

CONGRATUMALATIONS to the Happy Couple!!! A toast!!

*swigs drink, falls out of chair*
posted by soundguy99 at 7:22 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:43 PM on May 23, 2015


Q: How is Jessamyn at Nog-Toaster wedding like an abomination of nature?

A: They're both a fishy ant.
posted by not_on_display at 8:03 PM on May 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


!!!!!!
posted by pipoquinha at 8:14 PM on May 23, 2015


Congratulations and felicitations!
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:20 PM on May 23, 2015


Awww, congrats!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:35 PM on May 23, 2015


Something, something *awkward pun starting with the dangers of putting egg nog in a toaster then weirdly segueing into a cheerful invitation to toast the happy couple with an egg beverage*.



Yup, I think that went well.

(Congratulations from Sydney!!!)
posted by taff at 8:49 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:11 PM on May 23, 2015


Halfway through your post I was expecting a marriage proposal, instead I got an actual marriage. Congratulations to both of you!
posted by Rangi at 9:13 PM on May 23, 2015


I dramatically read this, the best MetaTalk ever, to my kissfriend this evening and he laughed and laughed, thanks for that
posted by NoraReed at 9:19 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


Congrats, I guess.

Seriously, some >100kers are probably okay, but I wouldn't want my daughter marrying one. Or my Nog, for that matter.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:37 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mazel tov!

This post has made my evening, I have the stupidest grin on my face.
posted by The Master and Margarita Mix at 9:39 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I hate to be all sincere, but huge congratulations and best wishes to two of the warmest, smartest, most fun folks anyone could hope to meet. Mazel tov!
posted by lalex at 9:45 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


The correct spelling is Evil-Lyn, geez. Do some research before posting.

respectfully refuse to do any research ever
posted by Greg Nog at 9:52 PM on May 23, 2015 [12 favorites]


Hip deep in the conspiracy, now, you are. Congratulations!
posted by jadepearl at 9:54 PM on May 23, 2015


ONE N. DAMN IT. LYN WITH ONE N, AND ALSO NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT.

May you both be blessed with the ability to think up a terrible joke in a tense situation. Mazel tov.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:57 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


More and more reasons to celebrate! Congrats all!!
posted by blurker at 10:05 PM on May 23, 2015


This story screams unreliable narrator. We may never know if anyone even got married at all. Frankly, it seems doubtful.

Whatever the case, I hope all people involved are happy and doing well.
posted by nom de poop at 10:24 PM on May 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


Holy shit. "Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars" is an EXACT anagram of "There is no MetaFilter Cabal". COINCIDENCE?

Congratulations youse!
posted by davidjmcgee at 10:24 PM on May 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


You can't fight the power






...of LURVE
posted by Segundus at 10:46 PM on May 23, 2015


I don't know if we can yet rule out the theory that zoomorphic, Stynxno, et al engineered this whole scheme to prevent a new episode of Lil Friendys from being uploaded this week.

Congratulations!
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 11:00 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Congratulations, you wuvbirds!
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 11:19 PM on May 23, 2015


Congrats, folks!
posted by scottymac at 11:23 PM on May 23, 2015


[Greg Nog, likeatoaster, [don't ever] cut it out. ]



(with apologies to the original artist!)
posted by taz (staff) at 11:31 PM on May 23, 2015 [99 favorites]


Congratulations!!
posted by peripathetic at 11:48 PM on May 23, 2015


Huge congrats you guyzes! ♥
posted by Lynsey at 11:55 PM on May 23, 2015


Oh awesome, congrats!
posted by klangklangston at 12:26 AM on May 24, 2015


Welcome to the "I Married a MeFite" club.
posted by klangklangston at 12:27 AM on May 24, 2015 [6 favorites]


DOUSES SELF IN SCOTCH

DOES THE TRADITIONAL CELEBRATORY DANCE


CAT REAMAINS UNIMPRESSED





I like to imagine Xharl was there.


Anyway. this is awesome. And you know that is not a word I use... OK I use it lightly every day BUT THIS TIME I MEAN IT. I AM FILLED WITH AWE. I even said "Awwwww" - that was the sound of the AWE leaking out.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:28 AM on May 24, 2015 [9 favorites]


Mazel tov! So happy for you both, but surely the work off the cabal can't be finished without a celebratory NYC meet up...
posted by Salamandrous at 12:50 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


See what happens? You mess with the cabal and get a life sentence.
Wish you both all ♥ happiness.
posted by Cranberry at 12:55 AM on May 24, 2015


Pics or it didn't...
posted by Namlit at 1:04 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


Best to you both. What a lovely story!

(Welcome to the Cabal! Ha ha ha! No no no, j.k. There is no Cabal! Not here! Ha ha ha Cabal jokes are jokey fun! Ha ha ha!)< />
posted by From Bklyn at 1:28 AM on May 24, 2015


Happy Happy Joy, Joy, and congratulations ::raises glass in celebration::
posted by Faintdreams at 2:31 AM on May 24, 2015


Aww, congratulations!
posted by badmoonrising at 2:46 AM on May 24, 2015


yay
posted by XMLicious at 3:02 AM on May 24, 2015


THAT'S a story. Congratulations, kids!
posted by kinetic at 4:05 AM on May 24, 2015


wow it's like a rom-com with real people happily dancing on my screen
Congrats!
posted by angrycat at 4:05 AM on May 24, 2015


Congratulations!
posted by RainyJay at 4:17 AM on May 24, 2015


Congratulations, toasternogs!
posted by daisyk at 4:18 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


was this woman with you when you found me on the subway with the popeyes meal?)

That was the mefite ausdemfenster, who was one of my groomshumans!
posted by Greg Nog at 4:37 AM on May 24, 2015 [5 favorites]


I was at that first meetup, so you're welcome LAT for not seducing Greg as was my plan that eve. Please return my enchanted copy of Red Mares at once. Congratulations I guess you ungrateful muggles.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:45 AM on May 24, 2015 [8 favorites]


Sounds like you fell for the old book in the pub trick, Mr. Nog. I guess that makes your lady a...

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

Caballer.

CONGRATULATIONS!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 5:12 AM on May 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


YAY!!!!

Congratulations!
posted by kewb at 5:35 AM on May 24, 2015


!
posted by Jacqueline at 5:38 AM on May 24, 2015


I never read MetaTalk; I only came over here to find out what happened to that thread on the Duggars. This is a sign that you will have 19 children. Be sure to name one Randomkeystrike in my honor!
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:41 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


Many congratulations to you!
posted by treehorn+bunny at 6:03 AM on May 24, 2015


♥ MAZEL TOV!!! ♥

I was just talking to some of the St. Louis cabal last night about concert plans. I think this calls for a celebratory meetup when y'all are back.
posted by limeonaire at 7:10 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congrats!
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:17 AM on May 24, 2015


Now that Internetland knows about the Cabal, there will henceforth be complete transparency in all marital conspiracy proceedings.

Congratulations!
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 7:25 AM on May 24, 2015


And then you drew me in with a Seemingly innocent and pleasant so-called "meetup" in St. Louis. Well, all I can say is I think you'll be very "happy." Congratulations.
posted by theora55 at 7:29 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


*Kermit arms*

Hooray!
posted by ocherdraco at 7:30 AM on May 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


Huzzah! Congratulations!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:31 AM on May 24, 2015


félicitations vous deux !
ceci n'est pas une félicitation de la cabale
posted by fraula at 7:47 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]


Mazel tov!
posted by brujita at 8:06 AM on May 24, 2015


And the plot thickens...
posted by blue_beetle at 8:08 AM on May 24, 2015


So happy for you both -- congratulations! Wishing you many happy adventures through the years together!
posted by vers at 8:25 AM on May 24, 2015




[start after bagpipes]
posted by The Whelk at 8:58 AM on May 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


That is some good marrying.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 9:00 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


My condolences for falling prey to this foul conspiracy. I hope that you will confound the conspirators by spending many happy years together.
posted by klausness at 9:06 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!!!
posted by _Mona_ at 9:31 AM on May 24, 2015


groomshumans is a fun word to say.
posted by jonmc at 9:41 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Here's the text of the ceremony if people are curious. Many MeFi shoutouts.

That is really sweet and nicely done, and was lovely to read.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:42 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


You know what else the cabal has in store for you?




Yep, that's right: they plan to torment you with lifelong happiness. Run while you can!
posted by easily confused at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2015


This is wonderful news. Congratulations!

This is important: if you're going to move to St. Louis, you need to know that it ain't in Kentucky.
posted by double block and bleed at 10:25 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


Usually this is where we talk about rings not having a beginning or an end. But in true internet person nitpicker fashion I’ll tell you that they do have a beginning. They were made from rocks which were turned into metals which were polished into bands which were chosen and sized and delivered.

:'-)
posted by danb at 10:34 AM on May 24, 2015



The Cabal's Constant Conspiracy Connects Constant Commenters Conjugally!

Mazel Tov!!!
posted by bearwife at 11:05 AM on May 24, 2015


This is just the best thing! Many congrats to both of you!
posted by carter at 11:09 AM on May 24, 2015


if you're going to move to St. Louis, you need to know that it ain't in Kentucky.

Amusingly, they live in St. Louis now and are moving to Louisville. That misread didn't even really occur to me until I wrote out the ceremony and somebody else made the same correction.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:21 AM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


The deviousness of this scheme is staggering. What's next, the pitter-patter of Mini-Nogs? Most troubling. But also impressive, as conspiracies go, so congrats to you all!
posted by homunculus at 11:24 AM on May 24, 2015


Congrats!!
posted by Fig at 11:25 AM on May 24, 2015


homunculus: "What's next, the pitter-patter of Mini-Nogs?"

Surely little Let-Go-My-Eggos.
posted by double block and bleed at 11:29 AM on May 24, 2015


Congratulations!!
Finally. The conspiracy has been exposed and the truth is now apparent to everyone.
posted by gt2 at 11:34 AM on May 24, 2015


jessamyn: "Amusingly, they live in St. Louis now and are moving to Louisville. That misread didn't even really occur to me until I wrote out the ceremony and somebody else made the same correction."

We understand here in flyover country. "Close to one of those states that starts with a vowel" is the best we can hope for, really. (totally kidding)
posted by double block and bleed at 11:39 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


The younguns will be refered to as likeanogs....

Congrats on the beginning of your future together!
posted by mightshould at 11:48 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


SCANDALOUS!

(Congratulations, and best wishes for every happiness!)
posted by MissySedai at 1:15 PM on May 24, 2015


The first rule of the cabal is that you don't talk about the cabal.

The second rule of the cabal is that you DON'T TALK ABOUT

Oh wait, I just did...

Nevermind. Congratulations!
posted by 4ster at 1:32 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mash Allah!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:12 PM on May 24, 2015


I don't know if we can yet rule out the theory that zoomorphic, Stynxno, et al engineered this whole scheme

The users involved are not a coincidence. Mefi marriages are a MLM pyramid scheme. We all profit each time. You should see NortonDC and onlyconnect in the Mefi blue Caddy.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:14 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


if you're going to move to St. Louis, you need to know that it ain't in Kentucky.

Amusingly, they live in St. Louis now and are moving to Louisville.


Alas, I read this right the first time and now I'm sad. At least we'll still have puppets.
posted by limeonaire at 2:22 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


The nerve of some people!

(mazel tov!)
posted by palomar at 2:28 PM on May 24, 2015


: "Reader, I married them."

Yay for triads?

Seriously, grats to all and sundry, and I wish you all the absolutest best that I can!
posted by Samizdata at 2:40 PM on May 24, 2015


They'll move from St. Louis to Louisville and finally settle in Lou.
posted by The Whelk at 3:14 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


I've met you both! Which is amazing since rural NH isn't even flyover country. Greg in NoHo and the bothoyez
in Nashua. Congratulations! Now, who do I see about getting the Cabal involved in my batchelorhood?
posted by Hobgoblin at 3:16 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Pics or it didn't...

At the risk of overcommenting I will note that I took a few pictures.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:32 PM on May 24, 2015 [23 favorites]


Anybody that thinks Red Mars is boring is clearly a person of taste and refinement.

Congratulations to both of you!
posted by Confess, Fletch at 3:55 PM on May 24, 2015


Jessamyn, thank you for sharing the text of the ceremony! One of my favorite points:
It seems only appropriate, then, on the occasion of your marriage at this slightly fancy meetup that in the unsolicited advice portion of the ceremony, that I return to the sage relationship advice given by our mutual friends, the internet people.
The whole thing read as delightful and funny and lovely.

(Also, yeah, there were bagpipes? So awesome.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 4:38 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is great. Congrats, and many happy returns!
posted by sockermom at 4:43 PM on May 24, 2015


Oh, my, that ceremony text was beautiful (pats chest lightly, swallows hard, looks upward.)
Felicitations! I like being married and wish a happy marriage on everyone who wants one. I'm glad the internet started this one.
posted by gingerest at 5:22 PM on May 24, 2015


Hooray!

I was all, "why isn't there a new episode of Lil' Friendys up?" but this is a pretty good reason.
posted by Ragged Richard at 5:45 PM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]


Congrats!
posted by sevenofspades at 5:54 PM on May 24, 2015


Wooooooooooo, congrats, best wishes, huzzah!
posted by sarcasticah at 6:13 PM on May 24, 2015


Cool!
posted by oceanjesse at 6:33 PM on May 24, 2015


Thanks, everyone! We feel really lucky to be together! And, judging by the last few years, we will probably eventually be Coming to a City Near You.
posted by likeatoaster at 7:20 PM on May 24, 2015 [21 favorites]


It was an honor to be at your wedding, kids! It was the most sincere wedding I think I have ever attended. Not a single moment of bullshit!

NAILED IT IN ONE!
posted by not_on_display at 7:23 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


Wow, congratulations!

> The conspiracy runs SO DEEP that even A FORMER MOD was a part of it.

... so that's how deep the rabbit hole goes. (Lovely ceremony! Even a Velveteen Rabbit bit.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 7:41 PM on May 24, 2015


HAPPY NEWS!

Congratulations to you both! Woo hoo!
posted by Miko at 8:04 PM on May 24, 2015


Well!! I HAD considered enspousenating you but if you're going to run off and enspouse Mefites IRL, I'll just have to forget it.

Really, congratulations to you and your toaster.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:06 PM on May 24, 2015


❤ Congratulations! ❤
posted by mochapickle at 9:11 PM on May 24, 2015


Well done, kids!
posted by mykescipark at 9:42 PM on May 24, 2015


Congratulations, you wonderful kids, it's really great to—waaaaait, hold the phone, it's like egg nog except with the word Greg
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:42 PM on May 24, 2015 [11 favorites]


Cortex combusted!

(No for real though I just looked at the list of married MeFites and was like "waaaaait X and Y are lesbians?" and it turns out I've been casually misgendering a rather eponysterical person to misgender ...)
posted by Devika at 9:45 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Anyway, I crawl out of the lurky depths to offer my congrats! Finally, something on MetaFilter to smile about.
posted by Devika at 9:50 PM on May 24, 2015


No one has read from the Velveteen Rabbit in this ceremony so I can just use this time to paraphrase from it: when you are loved for a long, long time, not just played with, but REALLY loved, that is when you become real.


That was nice of you to paraphrase unlike a CERTAIN jerkbuttmittenface at my cousin's wedding who made me cry and probably everyone else too.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:11 PM on May 24, 2015


Congratulations!!! Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and strength together. Jessamyn, what a lovely ceremony - I have happy tears running down my face. Cheers!
posted by missmary6 at 12:38 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


What a lovely couple, story, ceremony, and MeTa post! Stop doing life right, you're showing up the rest of us. Sincere congratulations to both of you. You guys rock.

Also: "Additionally: Believe what people tell you about themselves" oh man I am totally ganking partial credit for this
posted by Phire at 2:13 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


And oh you clever chap, getting me to thinking that somehow I am to participate in this charade of shadows and say congratulations to the seemingly wondrous occasion?
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:53 AM on May 25, 2015


Can I have a metafilter husband?
posted by b33j at 2:59 AM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


a) CONGRATULATIONS

b) 'flower girl with captured newt' is the best photo

c) I cried reading the ceremony, which is just like being there but less embarrassing. (also laughed, which ditto.)

d) CONGRATULATIONS
posted by you must supply a verb at 3:18 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


<3!!! Next time I see you, beer, pie, and pretzels for all! Congratulations!!!!
posted by ChuraChura at 3:57 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congrats to House NogToaster!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 4:51 AM on May 25, 2015


duplicitous angles like POSITIVE EMOTIONS and SUPPORT and JOYFUL COHABITATION

you are the best! Congratulations on your marriage.
posted by corb at 5:31 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sorry guys, but I, for one, would like to take this MeTa seriously - as further evidence of a real and horrifying problem with MetaFilter, and one which will inevitably lead to the destruction of our society.

Let’s just examine what has happened here: jessamyn, once a vital cog in the moderation processes of this website, quits her job here and immediately starts marrying off some of our most pleasant-smelling and delicious members. I don’t doubt that the profound love that Greg Nog and likeatoaster bear toward one another will, thanks to this marriage, grow and strengthen endlessly, sured up by the support and best-wishes of all their friends.

In other words, our dreams of marrying one of them ourselves for immigration reasons (à la “Green Card”), or being trained by one of them as their child assassin-protege (à la “Léon: The Professional”), or even just fusing our DNA together in a transporter accident (à la “The Fly”), are OVER.

The net result of this amputation of our dreams is that MeFi is infinitely poorer, while THEIR union is infinitely richer. So there now exists another, rival community to MeFi (composed of Greg Nog and likeatoaster) set up by the radical schismatic jessamyn (probably in a drunken fit of rage).

I call it the ‘Dark MeFi’ - and the very name sends a ghoulish chill down every right-thinking spine.

How long before the Dark MeFi is the death of us all? Answer THAT, cortex - if you still have any love left for the website that you took over when you brutally deposed mathowie in the glorious revolution of March ’15. Those were giddy times, when a sweet, new zephyr of freedom tickled the cobwebs of our crust-filled noses, and we dreamt of a thousand year reign of a new, just King. But now, the great enemy jessamyn has created an utter foe right on our thinnest border, and I tremble for the continuance of us all. Time for a new leader? Just sayin’. Vote #1.

And congratulations to Greg Nog and likeatoaster!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 5:48 AM on May 25, 2015 [53 favorites]


Congrats kids! :'D
posted by dismas at 5:58 AM on May 25, 2015


This is all extremely delightful.

Congrats, you guys!
posted by pseudonymph at 6:32 AM on May 25, 2015


Here's a nice pic, which shows off Greg's kilt, made of the formal Erskine tartan.
posted by likeatoaster at 7:27 AM on May 25, 2015 [21 favorites]


Love you two! (Thanks Jessamyn!)
posted by DesbaratsDays at 8:36 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
posted by meinvt at 9:25 AM on May 25, 2015


Congrats!
posted by Kwine at 9:30 AM on May 25, 2015


So delightful! Congratulations!
posted by jamaro at 10:22 AM on May 25, 2015


Here's a nice pic, which shows off Greg's kilt, made of the formal Erskine tartan.

OMG barefoots! LOVE.
posted by mochapickle at 10:24 AM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


I am very happy for both of you--the ceremony looks beautiful, as does the venue, as do the bride and groom.

HOWEVER

I am genuinely concerned at how these nuptials and all their accoutrement; honeymoons, visiting with family, merriment, etc, will affect the output of the sensational Lil Friendys web series.

Ceremonies that consecrate lifelong relationships are important. But how important are they really when compared to a web series about puppets in hell cubicles?
posted by Alex Goldman at 10:30 AM on May 25, 2015 [9 favorites]


Woo hoo! Congratulations to you both!

It's a perfectly cromulent cabal.
posted by carmicha at 11:00 AM on May 25, 2015


May I add: Huzzah!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:46 AM on May 25, 2015


ALERT: He knows too much, initiate emergency protocol Delta.

Congratulations to you both!
posted by arcticseal at 1:26 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Jessamyn, those are some pretty excellent vows, btw.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:51 PM on May 25, 2015


So what is the proper portmanteau? Goaster? Groaster? Legg Nog?

THE TWO MUST BE ONE
posted by drlith at 3:16 PM on May 25, 2015


I thought that in the end, there can be only one.
posted by Melismata at 3:27 PM on May 25, 2015


Ugh, you guys are TOO ADORABLE, which is obviously part of the conspiracy. I'm glad I met you before you became part of Dark Mefi. Innocent times, those were.
posted by desjardins at 4:34 PM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Not an actual insanity-fueled flameout.

Disappointing.
posted by GuyZero at 5:26 PM on May 25, 2015


They're flaming out on their love for the rest of us.
posted by desjardins at 5:37 PM on May 25, 2015


Whilst We would like to take credit for your good fortune, We regret to admit that it was just your own pure awesomeness that created this happy outcome.
posted by the Cabal at 5:39 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


If I'd known Metafilter actually improved people's lives, I doubt I would have been here so long.

zomg j/k

CONGRATS!

And,
Good show to the rest of you for Aiding and Abetting!
posted by lkc at 5:42 PM on May 25, 2015


Wonderful. You guys are swell.

It just goes to show that best wishes and good intentions count for a lot, gets me all tingly-eyed. That's to say, the journey is where it counts, eh?
posted by mule98J at 6:37 PM on May 25, 2015


I have been in awe of you two since the "grapefruit thread". A million congratulations and long may the adventures continue.
posted by biggreenplant at 6:52 PM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


likeatoaster: "Here's a nice pic, which shows off Greg's kilt"

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. I thought Greg was a puppet!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:15 PM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


(drlith, I suggest "likenog" or "toastnog".)
posted by gingerest at 8:44 PM on May 25, 2015


So what is the proper portmanteau? Goaster? Groaster? Legg Nog?
THE TWO MUST BE ONE


French toast.
posted by Kabanos at 9:41 PM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Congratulations to you both. Can I stop crying in my beer now?
posted by wallabear at 9:47 PM on May 25, 2015


obviously, I would never name names

Obviously!

Congrats. As an aside, what is the "Lil Friendys web series" I hear of? Googling is not helping.
posted by Admira at 11:04 PM on May 25, 2015


Lil' Friendys
posted by The Whelk at 11:26 PM on May 25, 2015


Congratulations!
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:56 AM on May 26, 2015


Congratulations! Yay!
posted by heyho at 5:27 AM on May 26, 2015


Welcome to MetaFilter+! The network of private sites and services only available to discerning members of MetaFilter!

Since your membership was sent as a gift from MetaFilter+ user Rock Steady+ we are sending you this brief orientation message to acquaint you with some of the features of your new level of membership. Be sure to email the 24-hour concierge at concierge@metafilter.com if you need further assistance.

Award-winning personal services such as child care, landscaping, petsitting, and spa treatments can be arranged through TaskFilter.

Be sure to check out MetaBank for our full suite of financial and investment services. MeFund averages have beaten projections for 16 quarters in a row now, and with moderator/CFO Robert Reich (user robbyreich+) in charge, you can be sure that your funds are both safe and ethically utilized.

The general discussion forum, The Gold, is a place where MeFites+ can engage in high-minded, cordial, intellectually stimulating discussions about the issues of the day, large and small. Celebrity guest moderators like Jon Stewart (jonstew+), Dame Judi Dench (M+), and the Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Notorious RBG+) ensure the discussion remains friendly and respectful.

Live streaming video of several MetaFilter+ World Headquarters locations, as well as the best entertainment content from all the well-known video streaming sites (as well as some secret streaming services, like Amazon Double Prime and The Good Netflix) is available at MeFiVision. If you'd like to travel to any of the Headquarters sites, be sure to book through TravelFilter for deep discounts and special rates on chartered flights! Note that travel to and from Space Station MeFi+ is currently not available due to the end of NASA's space shuttle program. We hope to be able to relieve the current caretaker of the Station, user Paphnuty+, sometime in the next 10-15 years.

Welcome and enjoy!

Congrats, you two crazy kids!
posted by Rock Steady at 7:04 AM on May 26, 2015 [10 favorites]


Wait. If THAT'S the Cabal, who have I been feeding wet cat food to through the vents in my office?

Congratulations!
posted by Atreides at 7:07 AM on May 26, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yay!

Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaåaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:30 AM on May 26, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hey, this is great news! (They would plan such a thing? They would do such a thing?). Congratulations and best wishes; I think the fact that the Cabal site brought you two together is fantastic! (They're using you! They're using you!)

Good thoughts being sent your way from this internet person.
posted by nubs at 8:36 AM on May 26, 2015


I have been paralyzed with post-block trying to come up with something clever to say all weekend. So I'll just say congratulations instead!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:55 AM on May 26, 2015


I only just saw this thread and all the clever things have been said already, so I will just chime in with my own congratulations as well!
posted by Gelatin at 11:18 AM on May 26, 2015


!
posted by Michele in California at 12:17 PM on May 26, 2015 [1 favorite]


Conga rats! It's always nice when good things are made to happen by the cabal (TINC) to nice people.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:24 PM on May 26, 2015


That is one freaking beautiful ceremony, and an amazing post about it!

Many many congrats to you both, and best wishes for a brilliant future together!
posted by jasper411 at 4:47 PM on May 26, 2015


Congratulations! May your reign be long and your justice swift!
posted by KathrynT at 4:55 PM on May 26, 2015


oh this is so great. Mazal Tov!
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 6:09 PM on May 26, 2015


I am pretty disappointed to learn that a Metafilter wedding is almost nothing like a Moonie wedding. I mean, there was no matching by the mods of couples who were previously strangers, no ritual cleansing, no 40 days of celibacy, and no oath of loyalty to a cult of personality. How can you even say you're married?!?

Seriously, though, congrats!
posted by decathecting at 6:11 PM on May 26, 2015


there was no matching by the mods of couples who were previously strangers, no ritual cleansing, no 40 days of celibacy, and no oath of loyalty to a cult of personality.

You sure about that? (hey-ooooo)
posted by gingerest at 6:16 PM on May 26, 2015


yay, congratulations!!!
posted by ghostbikes at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2015


Felicitations, y'all!
posted by ob1quixote at 10:20 PM on May 26, 2015


Did you find out who the book belonged to?
posted by infini at 3:09 AM on May 27, 2015


And congratulations for a secret cabal initiation.
posted by infini at 3:10 AM on May 27, 2015


Congratulations, guys! All the happiness.
posted by Iridic at 4:03 AM on May 27, 2015


(And if you think the Cabal is cool now, wait until your numbers station codebook arrives in the mail. You're gonna 7-4-0-0-5 your 2-9-4-2-4!)
posted by Iridic at 4:10 AM on May 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Did you find out who the book belonged to?

Yeah, it turned out to be the property of this guy who went to Cornell's Med School (his student ID was between a couple of the pages). I worked at a medical/research place that had a bunch of admin access to Cornell's student information, so I was able to find his email address and let him know, and I got the book back to him within a day or so.

Also, thank you to all for your congratulations and well-wishing!

(also there should be a new Lil Friendys up on Friday)
posted by Greg Nog at 7:25 AM on May 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


Thank God, I'm having withdrawal symptoms! I mean, I hope you enjoyed the wedding and the break and all but it's nearly as if posting more episodes isn't even your priority or something??
posted by billiebee at 7:36 AM on May 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh please please please take this with the love with which it is intended: Greg Nog, all this time, your wit and intelligence had me convinced you were gay.

Congratulations! May your lives together be filled with music and laughter and friends and books and everything good!
posted by janey47 at 9:52 AM on May 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


greg is actually 4 cats and an overexcited possum riding around in a mechanical human suit, this works out very well since heather is 4 cats and a toaster.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:59 AM on May 27, 2015 [13 favorites]


I wish I could come up with something funny or punny to say, but honestly, this is just lovely. And Jessamyn, your ceremony is funny and wise and perfect in text, and I imagine even more so in person.

I'm in the very beginning stages of planning my own wedding (a looong time coming). Although we have about zero details decided, we both know that we want it to be personal and meaningful, and it seems like you managed to achieve that and more at your celebration.
posted by radioamy at 10:10 AM on May 27, 2015


Seriously, some >100kers are probably okay, but I wouldn't want my daughter marrying one. Or my Nog, for that matter.

I feel obliged to point out here that I am actually a ~60ker, but I changed my username shortly before The Plan Unfolded to further shroud myself in mystery and obscure the nefarious Conspiracy.
posted by likeatoaster at 10:29 AM on May 27, 2015 [13 favorites]


TL;DR

I agree. Totally Lovely; Delightful Reading.
posted by yoink at 11:51 AM on May 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


(And if you think the Cabal is cool now, wait until your numbers station codebook arrives in the mail. You're gonna 7-4-0-0-5 your 2-9-4-2-4!)

Language, please.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:22 PM on May 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Language, please.

Seriously, I know everybody's excited about the alleged cabal of which there is not one, but if you're going to write stuff like that in a thread that people might be decrypting from work, at least throw the tertiary cipher on it so they'll get gamma vibes as a warning.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:48 PM on May 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


Yeah, it turned out to be the property of this guy who went to Cornell's Med School (his student ID was between a couple of the pages). I worked at a medical/research place that had a bunch of admin access to Cornell's student information, so I was able to find his email address and let him know, and I got the book back to him within a day or so.

mm-hmm . . . too bad that was too late to keep him from being arrested by the university cops for refusing to leave the library the next night, spending the weekend in jail, and losing his fellowship.

Oh well, his petition for reinstatement might succeed, and if it doesn't there's always Grenada!
posted by jamjam at 1:53 PM on May 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Marry a Mefite?

Preposterous.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:24 PM on May 27, 2015 [9 favorites]


Ok, for real, this warms the cockles of my cold black heart. I hereby announced my intentions to divorce my current (non mefite) meat spouse for a current mefite for whom any mod or post-mod will bless with lifelong bliss.

Seriously, I am a long term yahoo here, and I am in search of someone who can deal with long hours of me fighting the good fight and then coming home drinking lots of bourbon and listening to lots of the Clash, my kids are seriously cute and I need someone who A. Appreciates Greg Nog and B. Is a mefite who "understands" why I keep coming back here after (whatthefuck?) 11 years.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:20 PM on May 27, 2015


Is this turning into a smoopy enspousenation thread?
posted by infini at 12:46 AM on May 28, 2015


Only just saw this - Mazal tov to the both of you!
posted by Mchelly at 6:41 AM on May 28, 2015


Also I haven't READ ALL THE COMMENTS, so apologies if SOMEONE already pointed this out, but if you only read every fourth word of your post, it says

To attention that been number is specifically it's as how affecting everyone the a by I evidence ANYTHING of far tell 2007 met zoomorphic me "friends" became mefite fiancee Chyme. Of years invited their they parties winding evident of standing noticed standing stunning had I make I MORE simply THIS CERTAIN who this over was innocently told woman a named...

This is where I got tired of counting, but clearly there is more beneath the surphase to plumb, in the wee hours, when the two of you are tired of giggling.
posted by Mchelly at 6:50 AM on May 28, 2015 [2 favorites]


hey congrats guys!
posted by sweetkid at 8:00 AM on May 28, 2015


CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
posted by edbles at 8:19 AM on May 28, 2015


Mubarak!
posted by bardophile at 11:01 AM on May 28, 2015


Late to the party, but BOY HOWDY GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY RAISE HIGH THE ROOFBEAMS CARPENTERS CONGRATULATIONS!
posted by Kinbote at 1:15 PM on May 28, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would like to belatedly inform mefi that my mom found this thread, and said, "Now, tell me about this 'metafilter'. I saw that website where you said you guys got married, and everyone was so nice! Is 'metafilter' the kind of place where they.. 'filter' out the jerks?"

And I immediately started laughing and said, "oh no, there are still plenty of jerks"
posted by Greg Nog at 8:36 AM on May 31, 2015 [27 favorites]


MetaFilter: Still Plenty of Jerks
posted by Going To Maine at 11:04 AM on May 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


It's more that we're a choice selection of premium handcrafted artisinal jerks, for the discerning jerk consumer.
posted by XMLicious at 11:25 AM on May 31, 2015 [5 favorites]


These jerks don't come from a store
posted by The Whelk at 11:37 AM on May 31, 2015 [8 favorites]


The store was running out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:10 PM on May 31, 2015 [8 favorites]


The store was running out.

So that's what was supporting Metafilter all these years -- not ads, but selling off our excess jerks?

And the 'banhammer' folderol was just a cover story?

I should have known.
posted by jamjam at 1:20 PM on May 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


I once gave a five minute presentation about a fictional reputation-management company the core narrative theme of which was that little slice of George Costanza's life. It was a few years ago, but even then there was a lot less of a sense of people actually getting the jerk store references than I'd expected.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:49 PM on May 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


So apparently despite being unable to make the wedding I won the centerpiece from the table I wasn't sitting at and then Jessamyn mailed it to me and I have it set up on the table on the deck so in a certain way you could say Greg Nog and likeatoaster were actually married in Chicago and I am their rightful heir
posted by shakespeherian at 3:55 PM on May 31, 2015 [8 favorites]


even then there was a lot less of a sense of people actually getting the jerk store references than I'd expected.

That joke was funny!

hello momnog.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:45 PM on May 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Aw, hi Greg Nog's mom! We will ply you with summery drinks and harmless gossip, you come sit by us over here.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:52 PM on May 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am their rightful heir

sorry guys but any future children, pets and/or sentient AIs built with both of your input are pretenders
posted by NoraReed at 9:06 PM on May 31, 2015


(sorry about the delay we got Lil Friendys Episode 12 up and running finally for those of you who are curious about Khoronzoth)
posted by Greg Nog at 10:53 AM on June 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


CONGRATULATIONS!!!
posted by Julnyes at 12:28 PM on June 1, 2015


<3 Love you two, and know that the world is a better place with you in it, and together. Mazel tov!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 12:19 PM on June 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


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