Mods, Don't Squash This October 20, 2015 6:51 PM   Subscribe

This is perhaps the most serious thread that will have ever been taken to Metatalk. Avoid it at your peril.

The pumpkin GIFs on the Submit page look like they're jamming down to a massive dance party.
posted by WCityMike to MetaFilter-Related at 6:51 PM (75 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

That is, specifically, the Ask Metafilter "New Question" posting page, which, if you can't see it because you've asked a question too recently, has it's seasonal reminder from these guys that you should search first: dancing askme pumpkins
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:56 PM on October 20, 2015 [23 favorites]


Punkin #3 appears to have crazy eyes.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:02 PM on October 20, 2015


Punkin #3 appears to have crazy eyes.

Pumpkins and molly don't mix. Many a good patch have been lost to the dance.
posted by Sangermaine at 7:05 PM on October 20, 2015 [12 favorites]


It's the second one that's weirding me out the most. I mean, what kind of body is that? Are those its hips or its knees? The first pumpkin is looking at it with bafflement also.
posted by h00py at 7:10 PM on October 20, 2015 [41 favorites]


Remember when we had the <img> tag? It would have made this post a little less cryptic.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:11 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


What is that thing in the middle? I'm scared.
posted by Elly Vortex at 7:15 PM on October 20, 2015 [6 favorites]


This is collusion with the 49th annual television broadcast of 'The Great Pumpkin.'

🗿Brought to you by Silver Shamrock🍀
posted by clavdivs at 7:16 PM on October 20, 2015 [7 favorites]


Jesus - on first seeing this, I didn't realize how terrifying pumpkin #2 is.
posted by ryanshepard at 7:16 PM on October 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dude into the middle is a beta goblin from Diablo II.
posted by clavdivs at 7:17 PM on October 20, 2015 [3 favorites]


Clicking on this thread fucks up the mobile interface, BTW. Boo!
posted by Xavier Xavier at 7:22 PM on October 20, 2015


Remember when we had the IMG tag?

Micturating pumpkins? I weep to think of what might have been.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:23 PM on October 20, 2015


🗿Brought to you by Silver Shamrock🍀

Oh God, the song...

♫ 11 more days till Halloween! ♫
posted by teponaztli at 7:23 PM on October 20, 2015 [5 favorites]




Pumpkins don't look like that.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:26 PM on October 20, 2015


h00py you are body shaming.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:29 PM on October 20, 2015 [14 favorites]


Nerd Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.
posted by Artw at 7:30 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mods, Don't Squash This

Yep, this is a gem of a thread, a real prizewinner, and the mods had butternut screw it up.
posted by jedicus at 7:31 PM on October 20, 2015 [10 favorites]


I limit that kind of thing to badly drawn pumpkins and those awful mirrors in dressing rooms that let you see yourself from behind.
posted by h00py at 7:32 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


jedicus I'm giving you a big moon for that comment.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:37 PM on October 20, 2015


(that was a bit grosser and less funny than I expected, it's perfectly kosher - link)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:38 PM on October 20, 2015 [4 favorites]


Sorry it's been a long day.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:39 PM on October 20, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh god, now I'm even more stressed about figuring out a costume for this year.
posted by octothorpe at 7:44 PM on October 20, 2015


This is my legacy. I picked those pumpkins.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:59 PM on October 20, 2015 [105 favorites]


I was trying to think of some pumpkin-related puns, but the only ones I could think of were pretty pie-tiful.
posted by teponaztli at 9:08 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well it's a very delicata matter, formulating the proper puns. You don't want to do a kabocha'd (botched...) job of it. (Yes, that was a stretch.)
posted by XMLicious at 9:12 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Way to fuck up your legacy with pumpkin #2 jessamyn. Criminy.
posted by MoonOrb at 9:14 PM on October 20, 2015 [15 favorites]


The first one just arrived from an episode of Super Why! The second seems uncertain because he's only recently grown limbs and can't quite balance himself. Then the first pumpkin ate the second and now became the third
posted by aydeejones at 9:27 PM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Those pumpkins have names, you know. We got Bumpkin Pumpkin, Shrunken Pumpkin, and Drunken Pumpkin.

And since all those pumpkins are looking in roughly the same direction, I moved my laptop around until they were all looking at me. And waving. Waving at me! Those pumpkins are so happy to see me! This makes me happy, too. It's a pumpkin party!
posted by barchan at 9:47 PM on October 20, 2015 [21 favorites]


Pumpkin #2 looks looks like he fell out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 9:53 PM on October 20, 2015 [7 favorites]


I think #2 would make a great Halloween shirt.
posted by rhizome at 11:14 PM on October 20, 2015


Punkin #3 appears to have crazy eyes.

HER NAME IS SUZANNE GODDAMMIT
posted by shakespeherian at 1:49 AM on October 21, 2015 [23 favorites]


ahhh that middle little pumpkin homunculus is so cute
posted by threeants at 1:55 AM on October 21, 2015


Mefi's own homunculus? No way!
posted by marienbad at 4:15 AM on October 21, 2015


I'm hoping that the mods do squash all the things — then we can have delicious pumpkin pie!
posted by metaquarry at 5:10 AM on October 21, 2015


Mmmmm, pie...
posted by metaquarry at 5:10 AM on October 21, 2015


jessamyn: "This is my legacy design."
posted by Rock Steady at 5:38 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mefi's own homunculus? No way!

hompumpkulus
posted by Going To Maine at 6:04 AM on October 21, 2015 [6 favorites]


It's the second one that's weirding me out the most. I mean, what kind of body is that? Are those its hips or its knees?

Nothing pb can't fix...
posted by Namlit at 6:08 AM on October 21, 2015


Punkin #3 appears to have crazy eyes.

She prefers to be called Suzanne.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:25 AM on October 21, 2015


Oh jeez they're animated on the actual page. The horror!
posted by yhbc at 6:33 AM on October 21, 2015


Now I'm imagining Leonard Cohen playing a guitar and singing to a pumpkin.
posted by barchan at 6:33 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


Pumpkin #2 follows you home when you get banned. When it arrives, the horror begins, and when it leaves... well, no one has survived to report the final indignity.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:42 AM on October 21, 2015


Voice of experience here. It's probably best not to look too closely at number two because you'll see he wears seven crowns. They're not there, but you'll see them all the same.
posted by comealongpole at 7:09 AM on October 21, 2015


Please for everyone's sake don't leave a straight-faced reference to "number two" laying around where I can get at it easily.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:33 AM on October 21, 2015 [7 favorites]


Pumpkin #2 is going to be tattooed right next to my Party Dog tattoo that I'm also not going to get except in my imagination.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:53 AM on October 21, 2015 [4 favorites]


U RANG???
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:57 AM on October 21, 2015


Almost 50 comments, and no one has used 🎃 emoji? Seriously, people, keep up!

For anyone who can't see it, it's the jack-o-lantern emoji.
posted by bjrn at 8:12 AM on October 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


Now I'm imagining Leonard Cohen playing a guitar and singing to a pumpkin.

Gourd on the Wire?

Carving Time?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:26 AM on October 21, 2015 [3 favorites]


Halloluweenjah
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:29 AM on October 21, 2015 [6 favorites]


(they say that there's a gourd above, etc etc)
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:31 AM on October 21, 2015 [6 favorites]


Now I'm imagining Leonard Cohen playing a guitar and singing to a pumpkin.

Now I've heard there was an orange gourd
That David carved, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for courgettes, do you?
It goes like this
The lid, the seeds
The crazy eyes, the grinning mouth
The baffled king carving jack o' lantern

Jack o' lantern
Jack o' lantern
Jack o' lantern
Jack o' lantern

etc, etc
posted by jedicus at 8:35 AM on October 21, 2015 [21 favorites]


Maybe Warren Zevon?

Oh Pepita/
Hold me tighter/
I think I'm sinking down/
I'm all strung out on Halloween/
On the outskirts of town
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:35 AM on October 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


Don't Go Home with Your Pumpkin's Hard-on
posted by item at 8:48 AM on October 21, 2015


Oh, I carve you, I carve you, I carve you
On a chair with an old magazine
posted by thetortoise at 8:52 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


Three kitten munchkins they lost their pumpkins,
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear
Our pumpkins we have lost.
What! Lost your pumpkins, you naughty munchkins!
I'll wedge you in the pie.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow,
I don't know how, but why.
posted by Kabanos at 9:18 AM on October 21, 2015 [3 favorites]


I don't carve pumpkins. Like my ancient Irish forebears, I carve turnips, and the results are terrifying.
posted by maxsparber at 9:27 AM on October 21, 2015 [9 favorites]


I carve turnips, and the results are terrifying.

Those neeps give me the creeps.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:38 AM on October 21, 2015 [7 favorites]


Oh jeez they're animated on the actual page. The horror!

Oh yeaaaaaahh, the animated ones are WAY better.
posted by cynical pinnacle at 9:53 AM on October 21, 2015


Those pumpkins have names, you know. We got Bumpkin Pumpkin, Shrunken Pumpkin, and Drunken Pumpkin.

Hippest of all is The Funkin’ Pumpkin.

What is that thing in the middle? I'm scared.


The #2 pumpkin looks like the love child of a renegade squash and Reddy Kilowatt.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:56 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


The #2 pumpkin looks like the love child of a renegade squash and Reddy Kilowatt.

Deady Kill-o-squash?
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:39 AM on October 21, 2015


Hokkaidoes nobody have any more pumpkin puns?
posted by progosk at 11:02 AM on October 21, 2015


No punkins here.
posted by maryr at 11:09 AM on October 21, 2015


motion to have the pumkins animated in this thread too so i don't have to keep pretending i'm about to post an ask
posted by poffin boffin at 11:12 AM on October 21, 2015 [5 favorites]


Seconded.
posted by maxsparber at 11:13 AM on October 21, 2015


All in favor say pumpkin.
posted by maxsparber at 11:14 AM on October 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


it's the timeless battle between pumpkins and dance
posted by janey47 at 11:26 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


It goes like this
The lid, the seeds
The crazy eyes, the grinning mouth
The baffled king carving jack o' lantern


Oh damn it. Obviously it should be "The crazy eyes, the grinning teeth"

Also, who knew it was "The baffled king..."? I always hear it as "barefoot."
posted by jedicus at 11:33 AM on October 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


Forget pumpkin pie - pumpkin custard is where it's at.
posted by Telpethoron at 12:37 PM on October 21, 2015


You are wrong although I still respect you as a person.
posted by ardgedee at 12:40 PM on October 21, 2015


I know flan is great, and pumpkin pie is great so... pumpkin flan?
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 12:58 PM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


There is a pumpkin shortage, were struggling here in the Midwest, the canned pumpkin consortium is frantic. Slim Pickens at the market.

Really, I saw him handing out squash fritters at the A&P.
posted by clavdivs at 1:04 PM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'll just leave this here: zucca alla scapece.
posted by progosk at 1:13 PM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am opposed to this.
posted by maggieb at 2:27 PM on October 21, 2015


There is a pumpkin shortage, were struggling here in the Midwest, the canned pumpkin consortium is frantic. Slim Pickens at the market.

This happened in New England a couple years ago and my parents live in fear of it happening again. "Those are the canned pumpkin!" they tell me proudly, as I go looking for tea in the cabinets. "We order from some place called Kroger's? It's the best place. All the online dog forums say to order from Kroger's."

"Oh," I say politely.
posted by maryr at 6:08 PM on October 21, 2015 [5 favorites]


*enters in, looks at thread, wipes a tear from my eye* I'm just so happy.
posted by WCityMike at 12:12 PM on October 26, 2015 [2 favorites]


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