Fucking Fuck v4.0 September 21, 2017 6:17 AM   Subscribe

Come in. Sit on the couches. Bring a drink if you like. Or a blanket. And your dog. I don't know about you guys but it seems stress has ramped up in the last week or two. Let us let loose our fucks.
posted by yoga to MetaFilter-Related at 6:17 AM (115 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

In addition to the bullshit at the national level, I've become more and more aware of the bullshit at the local level. We have a mayoral race going on and the challenger, who could well be a nice guy and okay mayor, seems to have attracted all the bag-huffing conspiracy theorists who spend all their time worried about collusion between candidates based on yardsign color. What's not helping matters is that we have a Sanctuary City resolution up for a vote, so too many people are letting their inner racists flag unfurl.

So. Fucking. Tired. Of. This. Bullshit.

Anyways, here's what I've been thinking about by way of release. I've started to imagine that somewhere, there is a Hamburger Council. The Hamburger Council is a group of middle aged, doughy white guys - you know, the sort you see posting on your local newspaper's comment sections and agreeing with your racist uncle's latest dank meme. These are dudes who want to roll society back to what they imagine their prime was, when they were skinny and had hair and maybe touched a boob, and are constantly befuddled that the rest of the world doesn't want the same thing. They are men's men who like lite beer and eating hamburger sandwiches and they are worried that progress that does not involve them will end their access to hamburgers. Thus, the Hamburger Council will post its seal of approval to any social media comment that it things will help turn back time to a simpler age of hamburgers and being able to run 100 yards without throwing up.

So I just need to create a Hamburger Council Seal of Approval and maybe a social media presence so I can vent my frustrations on the doughy faces "just say'n" their way to fascism. I have a friend that rates troll comments out of 10 (and yes she has received death threats) and this feels like a similar, cathartic activity.

(I'm aware of the Mefi use of Hamburger - this is more of a reference to a throwaway MST3K line)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:41 AM on September 21 [7 favorites]


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel better now.
posted by Fizz at 6:46 AM on September 21 [2 favorites]


fucking fuck I am so stressed out that it is impacting my work performance, which relies on me having a cheerful face and actually works on saving the world, which means that when I suck at work I actually feel terrible about it even aside from the insecurity of possibly losing my job, which is even MORE stress. Fuck.

And my job requires that I stay engaged and talk about politics for eight hours a day, which means I am hyperfocused on the fact that we are all trotting down the road to oblivion.
posted by corb at 6:46 AM on September 21 [8 favorites]


Today is my wife's birthday. Last year, on the day after her birthday, her doctor confirmed what the radiologist had told her a few days previously, she had breast cancer.

Yesterday, on the day before her birthday, the same doctor scheduled her for a hysterectomy, as all the non-surgical options for her will increase the chances of the cancer coming back.

1. She really needs to develop a more productive relationship with her doctor.
2. Fucking fuck.

OTOH, it has been six days since I unfollowed every single friend (except wife and kids) on Facebook. That has turned out to be glorious little experiment that I am making permanent.
posted by COD at 7:12 AM on September 21 [24 favorites]


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

So in addition to All The Things, in the space of a couple days my father-in-law, who lives far away in his home country, appears to have suffered from a stroke, and we're trying to deal with that and make sure he's getting the help he needs. And I'm missing a ton of work because our cat is going through some terrible peeing-related illness and I'm constantly at the vet. And when I'm at work, it's really hard to focus when I walk by one of the TV sets that some genius decided should be on EVERY FLOOR and ALWAYS TUNED TO CNN and I see our shitbag POTUS promising to preemptively annihilate another nation if it sneezes disrespectfully.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
posted by duffell at 7:15 AM on September 21 [2 favorites]


I am so stressed out that it is impacting my work performance, which relies on me having a cheerful face and actually works on saving the world, which means that when I suck at work I actually feel terrible about it even aside from the insecurity of possibly losing my job, which is even MORE stress.

It me.

Aside from the cheerful face part; nobody gives a shit if I'm cranky because I mostly don't have to deal with people face-to-face. But nonproductivity itself is causing me to be less productive and to second-guess my own abilities, making me less likely to be successful in saving the world, which causes me to beat myself up in distracting and non-productive ways, causing me to be less productive...
posted by nickmark at 7:39 AM on September 21 [5 favorites]


I am spending a lot of time not exactly picking fights with co-workers but also not NOT picking fights with co-workers. I generally get along with them but they are just all so smug and complacent and sure that they will be okay which they probably will because other, more vulnerable people are fighting hard. They don't realize what they're thinking is "I'll be fine" because they aren't really willing to admit that other people won't be fine and they just think "the country will get through this" without acknowledging all the individuals who won't.

I've had both Republican and Democrat co-workers tell me that no one will actually die if the ACA is repealed because loss of coverage doesn't mean loss of care and I know that this isn't true and lots of people will die but I don't know enough about the healthcare system to respond. I get why they keep saying things like "I don't want to talk about this anymore" (I hear that more from centrist Democrats here than Republicans) because I definitely get...invested but it is so frustrating to me that they are just in this cocoon of privilege and refuse to help or even acknowledge that help is needed.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:08 AM on September 21 [18 favorites]


Just need a fucking job. My fault, but at this point would be quite happy with and actually wretched (fucking) job. Well not happy but would certainly go for one.
posted by sammyo at 8:26 AM on September 21 [4 favorites]


COD: 2. Fucking fuck.

Amen, you're entitled to that. Sorry about your wife's diagnosis, that's heavy for your whole family. I doubt that any words from us will make it feel better, but your own shouting might make it more bearable for a few hours. (My car's windshield has been pretty heavily fogged for the last couple of years, since I discovered this technique when shuttling between work and doctors and doctors and work and doctors.) An especially-shouty playlist can help compress this if you only have a short commute; PM me for suggestions.

Hang in there, man.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:43 AM on September 21 [7 favorites]


sammyo: Just need a fucking job.

Your profile says you're in the area; do you do any Unix sysadmin work? I will be posting something shortly in the Jobs site for an opening in Providence, RI, which was filled by MeFite ursus_comiter for the past four years.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:46 AM on September 21 [7 favorites]


I have become very blunt and kind of pitiless lately, which works against a year-long project to chill out at home. (Sorry, wife and kids.)

On the other hand, I also discovered My Best Friend Hank (personal web site, facebook, instagram), and I really want to find a way to get as relxed as Hank does at 0:54-1:07 in this video And also, the sounds of his tiny feets in this video make my heart leap.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:53 AM on September 21 [5 favorites]


I started training to be a school bus driver (only thing that seems to be hiring) but I can't pass the blood pressure test for the DOT medical certification. Gee wonder why. So I've been having to pay out of pocket for exams and meds because no health insurance. It's all very anxiety inducing which isn't helping my blood pressure, and I'm nearing the end of my unemployment and desperately trying to avoid falling onto welfare. And it would be nice if in the middle of all personal angst cops would stop brutalizing and shooting disabled people. Because hearing about a cop taking down a 14 year old autistic boy while sitting across from my 14 year old autistic boy is giving me heart palpitations.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 9:32 AM on September 21 [14 favorites]


Let us let loose our fucks.

Oh, no! The fucks have got loose. Now there are fucks all over the place. It's one whole mess of fucks.
posted by Grangousier at 10:12 AM on September 21 [12 favorites]


I guess the earthquake and twirly things sort of put *some* things in perspective, but chronic things and mean people just plain suck.

I was thinking that in my experience, either learning or functioning in an unknown place are distracting from the bullshit. So I had this idea: what if you had friends over for dinner, but with a twist: THEY have to make the dinner in YOUR kitchen, and you are not allowed to tell them where anything is.

And then next time it's at their house and YOU have to make dinner.
posted by yoga at 10:15 AM on September 21 [3 favorites]


(Hey, COD, I'm 30 months out now from breast cancer, and just want to let you know: It gets easier.)

(also, it has helped me immeasurably to stop reading the politics threads. but I still love you all.)
posted by something something at 10:16 AM on September 21 [9 favorites]


My stepdad--the man who helped raise me and my sister more than my dad did--is now undergoing hospice care. So I'm tired, numb, confused as to why I am not crying more, and very sad. I head back to South Carolina on October 2nd, but anything can happen between now and then.

I am trying to learn how to let friends know because I could use the emotional support, but I really hate putting the burden of a parent's illness on them.
posted by Kitteh at 10:22 AM on September 21 [14 favorites]


Caregiving for an in-law with stage 4 brain cancer, managing their spouse who is coping by ignoring everything, wrangling 3 yo twins, and trying to maintain a full time job. I'm worn out, and I can't keep up with the news bullshit anymore. I kind of want to make a job change, but the insurance bill uncertainty means I should keep my current job and its benefits. Fuck.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:39 AM on September 21 [16 favorites]


Damn, I stressed myself out just writing all that.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:41 AM on September 21 [5 favorites]


It's incredibly minor compared to the problems of others but fucking fuck, my current gripe is people who respond to my Craigslist posting with a "Is ITEM still available?" email and when I respond back within an hour "Sure is, let me know when you'd like to come take a look" and then they are murdered and never respond again. It's happened SIX time with some extra chain link fence I'm trying to get rid of.

FUCK
posted by Twicketface at 10:48 AM on September 21 [5 favorites]


Twicketface: - Try your local Facebook online yard sale group. I've had much better results there than on Craigslist.
posted by COD at 11:08 AM on September 21 [1 favorite]


COD - thanks! I thought to also try Nextdoor (which, I know has a host of its own problems) but not through FB.
posted by Twicketface at 11:21 AM on September 21


Event horizon fuuuuuuck just gets infinitely longer and more horrifying looking.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:26 AM on September 21 [1 favorite]


I'm super grumpy because I'm supposed to be flying to Canada this evening to visit my sister. However, I just found out that the letter I have saying my permanent residency status was extended for one year means one year from the date of the letter, ie tomorrow, not one year from the date my green card expired, ie December. My lawyers didn't know this, no one online seems to know this, it's not documented anywhere, USCIS didn't helpfully add "from the date of this receipt" to the letter like they could have, but three separate USCIS call center employees all said the same thing. So I'm not going to risk it. I know that compared to other people's immigration troubles, this is nothing, but I was just really looking forward to one last weekend of visiting with my sister before my baby is born. And I feel stupid because if I'd thought to ask this question two weeks ago, I could have fixed the problem. At least I realized before I got stuck outside the US. I blame Trump because before he started fucking with everyone's immigration status, USCIS had enough resources to process these applications before both dates and it didn't matter that it was ambiguous.
posted by carolr at 11:29 AM on September 21 [4 favorites]


Fuck is my favoritist fucking word EVAR! FUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!

I'm behind on just about everything I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not employed full time after being let go from a job and the ego still burns a bit from that. About to start a new self employed type venture thing in October and while I will be doing something I love, I'm scared to death to not have a regular paycheck. Did I mention I'm behind on everything and buried in overwhelming OMG?

Fuckity fucker fuck.
posted by MultiFaceted at 12:02 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


Things went pear-shaped briefly and so now every time I see a headline about a local man doing something batshit, I click and hold my breath until it turns out not to be my ex.

Related morbid amusement: apparently when there are multiple victims you say "murders-suicide", a la "attorneys general" or "mothers-in-law".
posted by Flannery Culp at 12:12 PM on September 21 [3 favorites]


80 Cats in a Dog Suit: "And it would be nice if in the middle of all personal angst cops would stop brutalizing and shooting disabled people."

Augh this shooting of Magdiel Sanchez, a Deaf Man in Oklahoma, has hit my social media and it is tripping my anger overloads. I'm starting to come around to the idea a friend is advocating that cops involved in a suspect fatality should be banned from being cops forever. And not just that jurisdiction; everywhere. With possible exceptions for violence cleared with higher ups after sober consideration (IE for snipers in hostage situations, that sort of thing.)
posted by Mitheral at 12:54 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


Oddly enough, I feel vicariously fucked and yet therapeutically soothed by the fucks in this thread. Ahhhh. Yeah, I know. Fuck you, strelitzia. Thanks again.
posted by strelitzia at 1:11 PM on September 21 [1 favorite]


I let my fucks off their leash and they got spooked by a mule and fell into a crevasse and now I have none. None more fucks.

The fact that I yelled "cry havok, and let slip the fucks of war!" immediately prior probably only added a certain irony to this.
posted by supercrayon at 1:23 PM on September 21 [19 favorites]


I spent a ridiculous amount of time today worrying myself to the point of tears about whether to text my mother something because if I do, when she texts back, she will ask when we are next coming to visit and I just cannot deal with it at the minute because my beloved is jobhunting and stressed and I know he needs us here right now. I love my parents, despite all the shit they've done to me, and no contact didn't work, but I hate that they make me dread every single contact. Argh.
posted by threetwentytwo at 1:50 PM on September 21 [5 favorites]


We always welcome freefloating hostility and various interesting strings of curse words in Metafilter's Own Official Metafilter Chat Channel!
posted by Evilspork at 2:22 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Let us review the last year: On November 8, the election of doom. On December 30, my father died (he was 89, had been failing for some time, it was not a surprise, it was still sad). On January 20, the inauguration of doom. Thence the Summer of Awful. On August 31, my sister's beloved husband and father of her two beautiful daughters died suddenly of an undiagnosed and non-symptomatic heart condition. Five months before he was due to retire, and on his oldest daughter's birthday.

My sister (who is my role model and my hero in all the ways my mother wasn't) is a fucking wreck, as are my nieces. Having 320 people show up to the memorial didn't, in fact, make it any easier.

I have fucking had it with the last twelve months.
posted by suelac at 3:14 PM on September 21 [13 favorites]


Next week is "Free Speech Week" at Berkeley, and I am not looking forward to it at all. The whole thing is just a big stunt to make the left look bad. They're intentionally hyping up this event, getting everyone nervous and angry, because they want this to be a staging ground for fights and violence. Milo Y is just itching to say "well, gosh, harmless little old me just wanted to exercise my freedom of speech, and look at what happened!" again.

There was even a National Review article that talked about how places like Stanford want to invite Milo Y because they're hoping they'll "get another Berkeley." These assholes don't give a shit about free speech. They want violence, because it means they can score political points. This is all a big game to them. They're in a win-win situation, because even if there's no violence, they can talk about how the campus has been freaking out for weeks over "just some harmless ideas that don't fit the liberal consensus," or some shit. But what they really want is for people to get hurt, because that's what will make the news. And this is the environment we all have to go to class in.

I don't know what's worse, that Milo Y is planning on being there with a bunch of other assholes, or that the Berkeley College Republicans wanted him to come. It's one thing for someone like Milo Y to be a dick, but for members of our own community to be making this happen is just horrible. It's like a big chunk of the campus is 4chan incarnate. Ugh. These are the same fucks who used to troll the Facebook groups with right wing articles about snowflakes. "I didn't choose the troll life, the troll life chose me XD!"

There's a bunch of other, minor stuff that has me saying "fuck" really forcefully to no one in particular. It's mostly good stuff that I've managed to bungle. An amazing professor offered to be a second advisor for my thesis, but I got nervous and waited three weeks to respond. It's been a week and I still haven't heard back. I'm trying to accept that I may have totally fucked myself over on that one. It would be nice if I could stop fucking myself over every time I get a nice break.

Anyway, the NYT put out a call for commentary from Berkeley faculty and students, but given their previous coverage of this stuff, I don't feel comfortable contributing anything. I don't trust them not to distort what I'm saying, or to feature a quote of me in a bad light. No thanks.

I am so fucking furious at Chancellor Christ for making this "free speech year." Way to be completely fucking out of touch. I'm glad our Chancellor is deeply concerned about scoring PR points over the safety and academic activities of Berkeley's faculty and students. Last year there were a bunch of memes about how Chancellor Dirks had misused public funds, but now there's a bunch saying "come back, Dirks, you can have all the public funds you want."

Ugh. What a fucking nightmare. Fuck.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:46 PM on September 21 [7 favorites]


frack, its like every 38 an a half minutes.
posted by clavdivs at 3:48 PM on September 21 [5 favorites]


still feeling kind of let down that the eclipse wasn't a harbinger of an ELE tbh
posted by poffin boffin at 5:35 PM on September 21


North Korea’s Kim Jong Un Calls President Trump ‘a Frightened Dog’ and ‘Dotard’

I'm so glad I work on environmental issues to help leave the planet a better place for the irradiated-cockroach descendants that inherit it from us.

Fuuuuuuuck.
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:39 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


ms. pixiecat’s Mom has rectal cancer, and they’re trying to shrink the tumour with chemo in hopes that it’ll become removable with surgery. She’s in remarkably good spirits given everything she’s going through, but jeez, the woman is 5-foot-4 and maybe 110 lbs soaking wet, you can’t help but worry, y’know? ms. pixiecat herself is choosing to remain cautiously optimistic, as am I. Stil, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
posted by tantrumthecat at 6:03 PM on September 21 [2 favorites]


So I was woken up this morning by a phone call from my ex-stepfather, asking me "Who is the President? Do you know who the President is?"

Which totally gave me all kinds of false hope, because he is not senile or anything like it, but it was only a conversational starter for the sharing of existential disbelief. Crushing disappointment. Luckily I hadn't taken my morning meds, so everything had a very surreal quality and I am suffering no emotional whiplash.

Going over the rest of my day in my head, it becomes no less surreal. Probably because I'm out of fucks, at least today.
posted by monopas at 6:33 PM on September 21 [1 favorite]


The other day I thought: what if school was just an injection you could get? So you get Year 1 injected when you are however old you are in Year 1, and you get riddled with learning-fever for like a week and have to have booster shots every 3 months until the learning "takes", but the rest of the time you can just play Xbox or whatever. I think that would be neat.

University degrees would be administered rectally, same way they are now.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:07 PM on September 21 [14 favorites]


I am seriously debating about whether I should post this here or in AskMe, but today contained the latest of many power struggles with men who think they are the arbiters of truth and “valid” opinions/assertions/decisions. I am the art director at my company. It is my prerogative to say, hey, I don’t like the way this was implemented, it doesn’t work for the overall design and it’s also not what I asked for.

However, one of my male coworkers, whose job is to communicate my feedback to the people building our products, doesn’t “understand” my “opinion”, because he disagrees and really likes what was done, and says I need to explain before he will accept my direction as “valid”, though in the same breath he acknowledges I have final say. It takes half an hour to get him to comply with my direction to remove this element. Half an hour! I had to finally say, “We will revisit this later. Remove it and we will revisit it later.”

My dad does this to me.

My last two bosses did this to me on things I was 100% in charge of, things they specifically asked for direction on, things that I was specifically hired to quality control.

This “valid opinion” shit always comes up after they’ve had an interaction with someone else who told them no.

I have never wanted to stab someone with a pencil or lock them outdoors in the rain so much in my whole life.

So fuck this, fuck them, and fuck whatever reasoning that goes on in their heads to treat me with such disrespect and waste my time because they feel like getting their way at any cost.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:09 PM on September 21 [32 favorites]


Aaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhh. The local women in tech networking group had a social tonight, which they managed (1) to have on Rosh Hashanah and (2) not to announce in advance, so that I found out about it when they posted pictures of it on their Facebook page, which I follow. Thanks, women in tech group! I guess I'm not techy enough and too Jewish for you?

Aaaaaarrrrggggh. I need to stop fuming and contact them to get on whatever list they use to announce things in advance, but it's annoying. And it's especially annoying because I think that I probably am techy enough for them, but I don't feel like I am, so I'm really hesitant to contact them.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:25 PM on September 21 [7 favorites]


Sigh. And the post with the photos says "it was great meeting women IT professionals," so maybe they only want people who actually work in the field?
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:31 PM on September 21


The duhpreshun is back with a vengeance and telling me I would be best served by not existing, which is egged on by my lack of circadian rhythm, which is extra fucking special because I slept from 1pm to 7pm today and I'm far north enough that that is now sunset so there goes seeing the fucking sun for the entire rest of the winter, l'shanah tova, everyone!!!!! I haven't called my parents in a month because I don't want to tell them how shitty I've been doing.
posted by Mizu at 8:03 PM on September 21 [13 favorites]


Depression is a liar, and I'm glad you exist, Mizu.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 8:44 PM on September 21 [38 favorites]


I had a job interview today. After the interview, I stopped off to have lunch and some beers to decompress. I got a call about 20 minutes into that endeavour that they wanted to have me for a second interview.

Thing is.... It's an IT/Admin/Networking gig. I've been doing that for 22+ years and.....

I'm sorta done with it. My wife is all up my ass, because the money will be good. And, she's not wrong. But, like, I dunno. I don't want to. How arrogant and self-absorbed is that ?

Anyway, I'll go to the second interview. Who knows, right ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:58 PM on September 21


I have to get a filling on Monday :/
posted by Calzephyr at 9:09 PM on September 21


Best to you all
'Tis the first day of fall
Stay in with your beloveds
Or stay safe with you.
Remember to keep life alive
In your heart let your radiance
Brighten the darkness.
Toast to every moment this world
Teems with life, quiet or riot,
Rife with promise, or stark with
Futility. Hark there will be crickets,
And gunfire, we the hunters or
We are the hunted. You can count on those
Fuckers to make every single thing worse.
Any ugly thing for a tingle, or the
Tinkle of coin. Rictus grinning sinner Senators,
Hitching their wagons to our scars.
He can't hear you,
I can't breathe
They shot my baby,
And the neurosurgeons left
A big scar in the middle of his forehead.
The Kochs are going to log the
Giant Sequoia, and dump coal ash
On the prime flyway.
All the wrong things are going extinct,
But the dresses were great this year.
And, it is finally cool.
Drink it in, but not in Houston,
Or the Carribbean, not in Mexico City.
Oh hey, anything but a woman president.
Could I interest you in some hate?
It is on sale, half price. If that is too costly
For you, I have some contempt.
Here, here, I will throw in a loud
Speaker. So he touches boys?
The other guy touches whomever he wants.
He is going to touch you with
Some very expensive airplanes,
Huge planes with removable parts,
That go boom like nobody's business.
I am tired of being tired, of being
Tired. Has, was, been, still teaching long division
To my grandson. He reached a tipping point.
He caught his breath, he got it. Then
Fill in the blank. Then, the wave came in,
The building fell, they came for his dad,
The wind came up, the ground shook,
He developed an allergy to fracking fluid,
He passed away from a Youtube overdose
Nah, had a toasted PB&J, and slipped away
To sleep, to grow in the night,
Despite my knowledge and resulting worries,
To start a fresh day.
The worst just hasn't happened yet,
Whatever that might be.
You can bet the dinosaurs were devouring
Ferns and each other right up until...
posted by Oyéah at 10:33 PM on September 21 [10 favorites]


My coworker gave me a cold, which I passed to my kids, and now I have it again pretty seriously. Someone at work has been out for two weeks now, so this week I worked ten hour days. My mother in law has been buying a bunch of stuff for me to take for my kids on our upcoming vacation even though I’ve repeatedly told her that I’m trying to pack lightly.

I’m just tired and sick and grumpy and I want a bowl of soup and to lie in the dark for three days straight.
posted by Night_owl at 10:38 PM on September 21 [5 favorites]


The small good news, to get that out of the way: the new apartment I fell in love with and fought for in July is finally feeling lived in with no real issues. It's super cute and I like it.

Other than that. Moving and refurnishing a place of my own that isn't 16 sqm ate away almost half of my savings. The stress of a new environment and depression are slamming into me with a vengeance. It's been a week since [common life stressor] and my appetite still hasn't 100% recovered. I couldn't eat normally for days and lost weight I can't afford to lose. I keep buying groceries to stock my kitchen so I have things on hand to cook but when I get home all I can eat is crackers. Going to make another attempt tonight and this weekend to have actual food.

The puzzle I bought last night as stress-reduction is apparently missing a corner piece. It's 300 pieces and I still have half left, but I found all the other border pieces, why not this one? I've sorted the remainders three times so far because I like to finish the border first. I was going to hang this on my wall this weekend, and now I might have to wait 2-3 weeks for a single piece if I still can't find it when the other 299 are slotted in place.

I'm feeling socially and physically isolated from the people I love. I don't really have local friends. Friends and family are separated by plane trips and country borders. I keep eyeing meetup.com groups but I'm so tired of spending money right now, even on transportation. I don't live in the US anymore so all I can do is watch the country literally and figuratively burn. Distance allows me to feel numb about it.

I'm trying to be more zen. But for today I just want to be able to eat actual food for dinner. Fuck.
posted by lesser weasel at 1:34 AM on September 22 [3 favorites]


Try your local Facebook online yard sale group.

Ok I have to get this off my chest. I have never met a bigger bunch of fucking shitheads in my life as my local Facebook yard sale group. Every time I post something there I get like a dozen questions that I literally answered in the description (like my post says: 19kg drum washer - 120,000w, and people will ask "is it a drum washer?" "How many kg does it hold?" "How much do you want for it?") Ahhhhhhh!

One time I was trying to find someone to take over my apartment lease and this woman came, looked at the place, said she liked it and went through all this hassle of like measuring stuff and verbally committing, but it turned out that she didn't have a resident visa for Korea, and she also didn't have the money for the deposit. Later I was renting out an apartment that I own and another person came and looked at the place (I clearly explained I was the owner), then asked me to show them a smaller place that was in their budget! I am clearly not a real estate agent, but whatever.

Finally! A woman on the group was trying to find someone to adopt two abandoned turtles. Full size, she said. Stupidly I believed her without doing any research. Six months later, they were the size of dinner plates!

I hate my local Facebook yard sale group. Ahhhhhhh!
posted by Literaryhero at 1:41 AM on September 22 [9 favorites]


I am upset by the idea that someone headbutting Toned Abs (poorly) might adversely influence Australia's absurd survey on human rights. However: (a) someone (allegedly) headbutted Toned Abs, and (b) this suggests the potentiality that someone better at headbutting may be able to do it in the future. These are things I can get behind.

...and Trump blundering into a war in Asia? Well, we all expected that anyway, right?
posted by pompomtom at 5:35 AM on September 22


I've been watching PBS' airing of Ken Burns' Vietnam, I guess because the extent our current fuckery isn't enough for me.
posted by klarck at 5:46 AM on September 22


About 2 PM yesterday my son calls that I need to come to the basement because the laundry room is flooded.

FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK

Turns out it the expansion tank on the water heater sprung a leak, so at least it was a cheap and easy fix.

Weekend looks good though. Tesla concert with my son tonight, and Tom Keifer with my wife tomorrow. It's always the 80s in our house!
posted by COD at 6:02 AM on September 22


Firstly, I've had ridiculous amount of unwanted change in the last year and a half.
Understatement.
Can somebody please stop this rollercoaster?
Kim wants to get the fuck off of it.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:43 AM on September 22 [6 favorites]


klarck: I've been watching PBS' airing of Ken Burns' Vietnam, I guess because the extent our current fuckery isn't enough for me.

Well, Peter Coyote does the voicework, and he's fucking fabulous.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:55 AM on September 22


Please, indulge my whining about this work trip I'm still on. It's been the worst.

Along with the EHS responsibilities I got a year ago, I am also the Risk Management person. Our risk people offer training once a year. This year, it's 2 weeks before a very big audit for the other program I'm responsible for at work. I figured everything would be mostly done for that, this is only a 3-day thing, and I could get a lot of work done during training/off hours so I signed up. Also I could learn valuable things about risk. Pretty much all of those plans went to shit.

- the class was not very useful. I now know alllllll about sprinkler systems and fire pumps and hydrants and water supplies to them and valves and how to commit arson, but that's pretty much it.
- related: when they were plugging their consulting services, they said that they go to conferences and get updated maps based on weather-related changes. Everything (flood, lightning, earthquake, etc) is getting worse. Nothing ever gets downgraded. Awesome!!!

-- I forgot my laptop charger at work. My colleague did let me borrow his for one charge-up which helped, but still. When I realized it Monday, I ordered a replacement to be shipped to the nearest Staples (~25 mi away ), but it didn't get there until Weds. I decided not to bother picking it up until I flew out, since I was flying out of the same city I had to pick it up in the next evening anyhow.

I picked it up, and I had ordered the wrong one, so I just returned it there.

- my period came a week early. Yay emergency tampon purchases!

- my flight last night was supposed to leave around 6. We boarded, pushed back, then the taxi steering broke. We were towed to the gate, deplaned, and said mechanics would be out in an hour to fix it. This is a tiny , tiny airport. The TSA checkpoint closed at 7, all the restaurants/stores (all 3 of them) closed shortly thereafter. At 10 pm, the flight was cancelled. This is my first ever cancelled flight, which isn't too bad actually.

They put me on another flight at noon today and sent me to a hotel w a voucher. This hotel is not great. The first room they sent me to was at the end of a very long hallway (like 50 rooms, no joke) and once I got there, the bathroom was not cleaned - dirty towels all over the place. I called the desk, they told me to come back down and they'd get me a new room. Which is right across from the pool. Oh and all of the bath amenities smell like Axe body spray. Awesome!

I just want to get home and do something worthwhile with my time. Soon! Hopefully! I could have gotten back faster driving.
posted by Fig at 7:07 AM on September 22


re the PBS documentary: the Vietnam Peace Commemoration Committee has been posting reviews on their site, and is encouraging peace activists to attend local PBS-sponsored viewing events so they can offer accurate remembrances of the movement.
posted by duffell at 7:17 AM on September 22


So I have been living in a total piece of shit apartment. Tenants are dealing drugs in the parking lot, we watched a woman getting beat in a car (screamed at the driver until he drove away), it's never clean, the neighborhood is so noisy that my dog is terrified to go outside, and there is just nothing around for us to do. We're sick of it, but rents everywhere have skyrocketed.

Out of the blue last week I noticed an ad for an apartment for the same price as ours, but with one more bedroom, in a non-smoking apartment with on-site management. They literally threw out the previous tenant because she would not respect the noise rules.

It's two blocks from the gorgeous Lake of the Isles, five blocks from a dog park, walking distance from my girlfriend's job, half an hour closer to my job, walking distance to two movie theaters, three grocery stores, two bookstores, the lake where my girlfriend does logrolling, a massive greenway, as well as hundreds of other amenities, while still being in a secluded and quiet neighborhood.

Two people had already looked at the apartment. We made an immediate appointment and I wrote a check on the spot for the deposit. I've never made a decision this fast, nor one I felt more comfortable with.

God, I can't tell you the relief. Everything else is killing me, but at least I'll have a home to go to that I am happy about.
posted by maxsparber at 7:28 AM on September 22 [51 favorites]


Well, Peter Coyote does the voicework, and he's fucking fabulous.

He played "Langley" (voice only) in the film Good Kill, which showed on TV here last night. Excellent film (in a stomach-churning realistic way, and triggers for everything) about contemporary drone warfare which maps out a lot of the arguments. On reading around it, found out that pretty much everything in the film has, like The Handmaid's Tale, already happened in real life. Ugh. But, a great film although one I don't want to see again.
posted by Wordshore at 8:14 AM on September 22


I am so fucking exhausted by the number of actively suicidal people in my life right now. Lately the tally's been hovering around three not counting myself, which is just too many, and someone I've gotten close to made super-vivid-but-plausibly-deniable suicide threat last night and left a bunch of us worried she was dead. She's adamantly anti-psychiatry and more depressed than anyone I've ever met, and I'm pretty clear on my options being "stay in her life, try to be a good psych recovery role model, and tolerate scares like this indefinitely" or "decide I'm done, and then miss having her around," and I know this isn't politics, and I'm not even asking for advice or support, just FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Thank you, fellow traumatized queers and miscellaneous crazy people of Metafilter, for talking about your shit and getting help and accepting help when it's offered.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:30 AM on September 22 [15 favorites]


(Oh shit I should add I'm actually pretty safe at the moment and I have an A+ safety plan with people I trust. Sorry to leave that implication dangling.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:32 AM on September 22 [13 favorites]


Never before have I wanted to rip off someone's leg and beat him over the head with it, but the thought crossed my mind this morning as I listened to a Heritage Foundation lackey describe how we needed a state "market-based solution", and why it is necessary for G-C to prevent states from setting up their own single payer systems.

And I couldn't scream my standard FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU at the radio, because of the little one in the back seat.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
...but I am calling my GP now to schedule a sick appt for an ongoing issue. Other people posting here has spurred me to do it
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 8:43 AM on September 22 [1 favorite]


The never-ending firehose of fuckery gets so old. Every time I think we're making some progress on heading a terrible plan off, another one of these wicked men runs off in another direction with a plan of equal or worse shittiness. It's so easy to break things.

I am currently searching for work--even have an interview today!--which makes it harder to focus on political action. It's also highly concerning that the field I'm going into could be badly affected by Graham-Cassidy.

In spite of all this meretricious malice that infects our lives each day, my mental health is better than it's been, possibly ever. The ACA allowed me to get mental healthcare and space to develop coping skills for difficult times, before our times got extra difficult. I get to do volunteer work that allows me to serve some very vulnerable people in our community. I've made some new friends along the way. I'm exploring different facets of spirituality for the first time (which is its whole own set of strange).

Coping, living, and trying to find the positive happening around me in this shitshow is my small act of defiance, I suppose. Bad things are going to keep happening to us collectively and some individually. However, there's a long tradition of oppressed people living defiantly, resisting whole-heartedly, and appreciating whatever joy there is to be found.

<333333
posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 8:50 AM on September 22 [5 favorites]


And I couldn't scream my standard FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU at the radio, because of the little one in the back seat.

I almost burst an eardrum the week before last because my kids were "helping" with some yard work. All I could do was moan gently and say "Uff-da" and "Oy" in a groaning way.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:51 AM on September 22


nebulawindphone, I've found myself in a similar situation lately. I feel like I'm living the Swamp of Sadness scene from Neverending Story, over and over again, as people I care about stop even trying to survive this, cancel doctor's appointments, refuse to tell their mental health professionals what's really going on, refuse to even attempt active coping when bad things happen, and then I become the bad guy for not being there for them when they're in crisis when being there for everybody I know when they're in crisis at this point would leave me no hours to sleep or work. I'm like desperately trying to convince people to do something, anything, as I'm watching them drown.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get an appointment with a new psychiatrist, I've started with a new therapist, and I think I have now installed every breathing and mindfulness app on the Play store, and I'm still having so many nightmares.
posted by Sequence at 9:13 AM on September 22 [5 favorites]


The other day I thought: what if school was just an injection you could get? So you get Year 1 injected when you are however old you are in Year 1, and you get riddled with learning-fever for like a week and have to have booster shots every 3 months until the learning "takes", but the rest of the time you can just play Xbox or whatever. I think that would be neat.

lol this was essentially the basis of the most terrifying children's sci fi i ever read, minus the xbox part
posted by palomar at 9:17 AM on September 22 [1 favorite]


cry havok, and let slip the fucks of war!

a call to arms for the ages!
posted by supermedusa at 10:11 AM on September 22


My 16-year-old daughter got dumped by her first boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. He was all "let's still be friends" when she had tickets to a concert that he wanted to go to, but now he's progressed to "You are like cancer to my soul." It turns out he was lying to her all along about a bunch of things, including being a low-level weed dealer, so good riddance to bad rubbish, but she is still pretty heartbroken and feeling betrayed.

Oh, did I mention they are in a rock band together?
posted by Rock Steady at 10:19 AM on September 22 [1 favorite]


Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, the Vice Provost at my university just unequivocally shut down any chance of us running a fall semester class/2 week winter break trip to Guatemala and Honduras. The reasoning is that they don't want to deal with any credit-bearing programs over winter break (we do not have a J-term). Explanations that the 3-credit class would take place in the fall semester, like we just said, fell on deaf ears. They're streamlining the study abroad program process, which in theory I support, but not at the expense of taking my students to two of the most fascinating and culturally-rich countries I have ever been to, not to mention spending 16 weeks next fall geeking out over the Popul Vuh and huipiles and archaeology.

We might have our super-successful Japan summer program cancelled as well, because it also runs for only 2 weeks, and "how can anyone earn 3 credits in 2 weeks?" (THE CLASSES ARE DURING THE SEMESTER, YOU NITWIT).

I mean, guess I don't need to plan that syllabus this weekend after all, but it's a hell of a silver lining.
posted by chainsofreedom at 10:47 AM on September 22


I am so sorry to all who are experiencing shittiness this season.

My mother, despite 9 months of no contact and expressly not doing the one thing (see a therapist) that would re-initiate contact, continues to pelt me with alternating profanity laced screeds and "we just want to LOOOOOVE YOOOOOOO" guilt trips. I'm down to the nubs on this one.

That said, today is the Autumnal Equinox here in the NoHe and I am grasping at the autumn season (my favorite) with a death grip.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:52 AM on September 22 [5 favorites]


Sophie1: ...I am grasping at the autumn season (my favorite) with a death grip.

Sophie1, would it improve your mood any to (re-?)read The Very Best Essay About Autumn On The Internet?
posted by wenestvedt at 11:52 AM on September 22 [6 favorites]


BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall.

Thank you wenestvedt. That totally helped.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:12 PM on September 22 [4 favorites]


terrible news here - my best friend took his own life last night. trying to cope with this horrible tragedy.
posted by thelonius at 12:33 PM on September 22 [6 favorites]


Oh thelonius. Sending you all the hugs. That is super awful and you have total permission to feel however you feel for however long it takes, and to reach for and lean on your support network.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The diseases that cause suicide are horrible and I hope we find better ways to cope with/cure them soon.
posted by bilabial at 12:42 PM on September 22 [6 favorites]


thelonius, do you have good people to be around, to share words about your friend's good points and good times, and the tears when they come?
posted by wenestvedt at 12:56 PM on September 22 [2 favorites]


thanks - yeah, I have some support here - I'm pretty shocked, although I am sad to say this was not a total surprise
posted by thelonius at 1:19 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


Sending strength, love, and hope to everyone here. And all the hugs, too. Hang in there, everyone.
posted by Nutritionista at 1:49 PM on September 22 [4 favorites]


thelonius, I'm so sorry mate. I'm sorry, dear hearts. Courage, dear hearts :'-(
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:46 PM on September 22 [5 favorites]


Shit, that's terrible, thelonius. All my best wishes and strength to you.
posted by soundguy99 at 2:50 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


hugs, thelonius
posted by supermedusa at 2:58 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


Condolences, thelonius.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 3:03 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


thanks all
posted by thelonius at 3:12 PM on September 22


I'm so sorry, thelonius.
posted by palomar at 3:29 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


That is terrible news. I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by Flannery Culp at 3:38 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


Sending love and good thoughts, thelonious. I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by Hermione Granger at 4:16 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. What a terrible thing.
posted by maxsparber at 4:32 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, thelonius.

.
posted by limeonaire at 6:15 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


I am so sorry, thelonius. Please take care of yourself.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:21 PM on September 22 [1 favorite]


I'm so sorry thelonius.
posted by daybeforetheday at 3:43 AM on September 23 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, thelonius.

And I'm sorry for anyone else who grieves today. It's been such a trying year. I'm so thankful for the farm and my new family here because it makes it much, much harder to just give up. Which I feel tugging at my elbow constantly.

Things are fine as long as I'm able to pretend the world ends at the end of the driveway. Some days that's easy, others not as much. I'm astonished at how many people in this country, and indeed the world, don't understand the purpose of civilization.

In any case, amongst the "Omnibus Shambles" as my Correspondent on the Continent and I call it, Charles Bradley, "the screaming eagle of soul," passed today. I'm going to miss him.
posted by ob1quixote at 3:03 PM on September 23


I really appreciate y'alls good wishes. Thank you. I talked to my friend's, well, widow, and she's doing OK - she has family with her, helping her with the dreadful things, like hiring crime scene cleaners, that must be done.
posted by thelonius at 3:19 PM on September 23 [1 favorite]


So here in the land of Oz we are currently enduring the worst amount of shit it has been my displeasure to witness in a long, long time. There is a plebiscite asking for people of voting age to give their opinion on whether the marriage act should be changed to allow people in same sex relationships to legally marry.

You know that wonderful attitude where people who get called racist act as if that accusation is worse than actually having to endure racism? Well, not only do we have that because there are a shit tonne of racist fucks here (along with all the other bigotry that goes along with it, islamophobia, anti-semitism et al) but now we get to listen to all these people sobbing about how awful they're being treated because they have told the world that they won't be voting for marriage equality. Oh, the howls and cries and lamentations! These people are so over the hatred of people who have the temerity to accuse them of intolerance!

It's sickening. I honestly feel sick to think that there are so many awful people out there who feel absolutely justified in their intolerance. An example so I can pass on my nausea: "I wish these fucking poofs would shut up and stop telling me about their sordid fucking lives. No wonder this country is so fucked with all these fucking poofters. I was going to vote yes but now they can go and get fucked and I hope their children get taken away before they pass on their perverted lifestyle to my kids". This is an actual quote. This person thinks that they can say this and when they are called on it they're all I have a right to my own opinion! You're repressing me! You're just as bad! I mean, what the actual fucking fuck?

Oh, and every fucking second story on my facebook timeline is about how Christmas is being stifled. One
local big retailer has Christmas trees for sale that don't have the word 'Christmas' on the box! Save the world! Our way of life is over! The muslims and the poofters are destroying everything we hold dear!

It's disgusting and infuriating and dishonest and utterly fucking horrendous. And they're everywhere! Surrounded by dickheads and buffoons, all bleating and ranting and making me feel like closing the door and never talking to anyone outside my bubble again.

And that's not bringing up Tr*mp and nuclear weapons and our own terrible federal government's constant bad decisions and climate change and the fucking hot weather and the fact that I'm supposed to have my lines learnt in 5 days and my terrible fat gut and the grey hairs in my eyebrows and my constant poverty and the stupid thing I'm in training for at work and the fact that I haven't had a solid stool in weeks.

Fucking fuck it all.
posted by h00py at 12:56 AM on September 24 [11 favorites]


One local big retailer has Christmas trees for sale...

A friend saw this on Twitter:
"Used to piss me off seeing Xmas stuff in shops in Sept, now I just admire their blind optimism that we'll still be around in three months time."
posted by thelonius at 4:02 AM on September 24 [12 favorites]


I could rant a little.

Another stellar example of the dumbing down of Americans that is pissing me right the fuck off this week: I somehow can't seem to escape advertisements for the new sitcom Young Sheldon about the childhood years of the Sheldon character on The Big Bang Theory.

Much like another beloved and wildly popular social conditioning tool in the 80s, Family Ties (with Michael J. Fox as Republican overachiever Alex P. Keaton), it's going to be all about how he's really smart—but all that book learning has led to major unacceptable flaws in his character. Message: advancing your education isn't all it's cracked up to be! Learning too much is bad because people inevitably pay a price for it socially; you don't want to be like that guy, do you? Keep it real, kid. ("Real" isn't standing out for your achievements. "Real" is fitting in. Look at all the wealthy, successful people insisting that they're just keeping it real. It's required.)

Over and over and over again with tv, all advertising (but that's a given), shite Hollywood movies, signs everywhere, pictures instead of words (rather than in addition to), warnings on plastic bags not to eat them. The incessant message is that we need to be given step-by-step instructions—do not go off all willy-nilly making your own decisions and thinking for yourself because you will fail. Here. Let us help you.

Yeah, it's not surprising that we elected an authoritarian fool. Gross, sure, but unsurprising. /rant

That's it really; everything else is going pretty well in my bubble. It's the country/world that I'm worried about.
posted by heyho at 5:53 AM on September 24 [5 favorites]


Massive hugs to you thelonius.
posted by yoga at 4:48 PM on September 24 [1 favorite]


I've spent the weekend alternating between sleeping and crying and just staring into the middle distance.

I haven't been close to my family for many years, just the odd checkin now and then. I moved out of the South and started a life in a city and met my soon to be wife and bought a house and changed careers and have just kind of drifted apart.

But I spoke to my mother Saturday morning. It turns out that her dog died in February, a long, slow boiling fight with her landlord came to a head and she moved out of her house of 10+ years in March. She's been living with her long term boyfriend in a week to week motel since then. Since the divorce 15 years ago, she's struggled with extremely severe depression and actute anxiety. Her trichotillomania has progressed to the point that she's pulled almost all of her hair out. She can't afford health insurance, and South Carolina has pretty shitty medicaid policies. She went to the emergency room as a last resort with severe abscesses, and they pulled out her front four teeth. She already has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and a host of other medical problems.

I used to think of how I wished we lived in a country where progress was being made on the finer points of health care and the social safety net. Where things like the link between mental and oral health was understood and funded. Now I wish we lived in a country where no one would have to settle for the ER as their only option, where god forbid a woman who spent 35 years as a nurse in labor and delivery / ER rotations might be able to get professional help to process and move past life altering tragedies like divorce. What little progress we made is just being rolled back.

Part of my new career is working on a HRSA funded grant that is trying to enhance training for primary care providers in mental health. And every day our team tries to move the line an inch, we also have to consider what will happen if the ACA gets killed, if the Republican administration decides to shut down our funding, or a million other possibilities that every day seem more and more likely.

We live in Trump's America and the Republican Party is actively debating the best way to kill my mom faster. Every time I read one more fucking tweet or article or whatever about repealing the ACA instead of working to make it even better and broader and more stable, I want to fucking burn the world down.

This is insanity. Fuck these motherfucking spiteful, evil fuckers right in their fucking eye sockets.

Thanks for the space to rant for a minute.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:21 PM on September 24 [10 favorites]


I'm not feeling up to sharing the various shitstorms in my own world (i.e. those in addition to the common-lot shitstorms we're all bearing up under), but they exist, and they have exacted a genuine toll.

Here's to my beloved friend who is seemingly being punished by the universe for simply asking for the things he deserves, after 19 years of taking it on the chin at work and in love, and now hovers precariously on the brink of homelessness, on his own in a city where he knows few and can rely on fewer.

Here's to my beloved friend who fought hard to get pregnant, and endured all the pain and expense of IVF only to lose her beautiful baby boy weeks after birth, and is now navigating through grief so searing that it robs all sense and order from the world.

Here's to my beloved friend who shouldered near-daily radiation and weekly chemo for the past three months, endured a nine-hour surgery, and may just make it back to themselves.

Here's to my beloved friends who are struggling with endometriosis, with depression and anxiety, with persistent unemployment, with homophobic parents, with an NHS that is willfully being sabotaged, with the prospect of ejection from the adopted country that they love and had thought of as a home, with being made to be the visible token representative of their ethnicity at a workplace which doesn't care about any of their other virtues, talents or skills.

Here's to all of us who are self-medicating our way through this terrible, terrible year, using whatever means lay ready to hand, knowing all the while it's probably not doing us any good in the longer term.

Here's to everyone who didn't make it.

Here's to all of us who are still putting one foot in front of another, who are determined to bite down, charlie mike and see this through, because there are people who need us and we'd rather burst into flames than disappoint or betray them. You have my love, you have my condolences, you have my solidarity and you have my gratitude.
posted by adamgreenfield at 4:34 AM on September 25 [11 favorites]


45 on yesterday's NFL demonstrations: "Standing with locked arms is good, kneeling is not acceptable. Bad ratings!"

Me: goddamn it, you are not running a fucking reality TV show, this is a COUNTRY and people's LIVES are being affected by your bullshit tweets what is this reality I can't even arrgh sdgdgjxdwdgh

/stops mashing keyboard, sobs
posted by Flannery Culp at 9:04 AM on September 25 [4 favorites]


/stops mashing keyboard, sobs

Awww. Please don't despair. Now is the time to remember how resilient you are. And every time you mash a keyboard, that little fucker does this: \0/

Don't let the little fucker \0/.

I had a real wtf year, Aug 2016–Sep 2017—like all the way off the crazy chain: major dental issue followed by retinal detachment followed by malignant breast cancer diagnosis and surgery followed by torture/murder of a family member followed by bad time with radiation treatment followed by my little cat's diabetes diagnosis and crazy, scary, rapid health decline followed by the bad side effects from the cancer drug I have to take for another five fucktastic years, then the death of the (same) best little kitty ever—RIP, little Pea, my tiny rock of stability. When she went on the 6th of September, it felt like the bottom had dropped out for me. So I talked to one of the psychologists at the consulting firm I work for, and he had this to say about my request for some coping skills:

A) I'm walking upright, so in a sense, I am coping and might be able to teach a master class in coping skills. (We laughed, but... yeah. I get what he was saying there. I tend to think I can't cope with shit, but really I do okay for the most part, and this really was just a little extreme.)

But here's the good part:

B) Instead of seeking comfort (which I'm too skeptical to receive, usually) when I feel like I'm being buried in bullshit, do the opposite: instead of trying to get comfort to come to me and make me feel better, I need to put it out there instead. Offer aid/comfort to others. (Even as he said it, I flashed on AskMes I've read where Mefites advise others to volunteer when feeling blue or while waiting for a spate of unemployment to end—similar concept.)

So I did two things. I got me a new cat (a rescue!) and reached out to my niece, who I know has a crap time of things—she's bipolar and is now properly medicated but also has an autoimmune disorder that makes it super hard to retain a job once she's been hired, and I just started being her cheerleader. We're brainstorming ways she can best situate herself for gainful employment. Working from home sounds super; she's not usually too ill to work—just to be around people; and she's unskilled, so she's needing some education—so we're gonna get her some so she can do this thing. And I'm curtailing my spending on frivolous shit and am going to help fund something awesome that will change her life for the better.

These two things that I'm doing have made my brain do a 180. Brain, I'm proud of you. For reals. And I've learned that I'm really kind of strong. I've never thought of myself that way.
posted by heyho at 10:25 AM on September 25 [16 favorites]


I did two concerts this weekend. Tesla on Friday night with my son, and Tom Keifer on Saturday night with my wife. Then could barely get out of bed Sunday due to food poisoning or a 24 hour virus. I'm refusing to consider the possibility that Sunday was the natural result of somebody my age attending back to back concerts in a weekend.
posted by COD at 5:23 PM on September 25


Good job, heyho's brain! And thanks for the perspective. Usually I keep it together but every now and then some little thing flips the WHAT WHY DEAR GOD switch and that was today's.
posted by Flannery Culp at 5:56 PM on September 25 [4 favorites]


*ENDLESS SCREAMING*
posted by Space Kitty at 10:11 AM on September 26 [1 favorite]


I still can't get in touch with my family in Puerto Rico, because whatever aid they are doing, it's not enough, and they're not bothering to set up communication centers.
posted by corb at 10:21 AM on September 26 [1 favorite]


Corb, I heard there are land lines up again today. Is anyone able to get messages around through a central POC down there, like the Red Cross?
posted by wenestvedt at 10:28 AM on September 26


These two things that I'm doing have made my brain do a 180. Brain, I'm proud of you. For reals. And I've learned that I'm really kind of strong. I've never thought of myself that way.
posted by heyho at 10:25 AM on September 25 [9 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]


0_o

“Strong”?

“STRONG”?

More like “fucking indestructible”!

Seriously, wishing you all the good fortune in the world. :)
posted by tantrumthecat at 5:14 PM on September 26 [4 favorites]


I'm just glad that my father didn't live to see this.
posted by Soliloquy at 1:12 AM on September 27 [2 favorites]


Why did I even hope for a minute that 2017 would stop fucking with me? Everything you ever wanted? Sure. You can think you have it for a few days. Oh what the hell, take the whole week.

SUCKER.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:47 PM on September 27


Corb, I heard there are land lines up again today. Is anyone able to get messages around through a central POC down there, like the Red Cross?

No messages still, but supposedly the mayor in the town has said no one has died? So I can subtract one fuck at least from the fuck chorus.
posted by corb at 4:03 PM on September 27 [2 favorites]


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKK AAAAAAALLL THIIIISS SSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT
posted by numaner at 8:14 PM on September 28


Corb, my thoughts are with you
posted by angrycat at 7:15 AM on September 29


It's strange. We weren't related, had no mutual friends or connections, I never met her, never saw her even in the distance on various trips to LA, never had any communication. But I read some of her writings over the years, and I still, now at this moment, miss Carrie Fisher a lot.
posted by Wordshore at 6:35 AM on September 30 [1 favorite]


Desirina Boskovich: "The GOP insists that the Vegas shooter's gun arsenal is "a right," but medical treatment for his 500+ survivors is merely "a privilege.""

AAAARRRRRGGGGGG FUUUCKK ALLLL THE THINGSSSS
posted by numaner at 10:51 PM on October 2 [2 favorites]


Hey this is like negative a lot of fucks, but I just heard from PR and my grandfather is okay and has food and water for the immediate future.
posted by corb at 5:22 AM on October 3 [16 favorites]


I'm so glad to hear that, corb!
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:11 AM on October 3


CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK. ALL THE TIME.

A L L.
T H E.
T I M E.

posted by entropicamericana at 9:51 AM on October 11 [2 favorites]


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.
that is all.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 1:06 AM on October 12


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