Long Time, No See

December 15, 2018 8:11 AM

Hi, it's been a while. Just wondering if Metafilter still has a thing for pancakes. If so, y'all might be interested in this.
posted by mr_crash_davis to MetaFilter-Related at 8:11 AM (49 comments total)

Pancakes pancakes pancakes
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:15 AM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

*pours one out for Oolong*
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:15 AM on December 15, 2018 [22 favorites]

does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by jozxyqk at 8:23 AM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

Mmmm. IHOP Blue.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:16 AM on December 15, 2018 [7 favorites]

Hello, mr_crash_davis.
posted by dobbs at 9:29 AM on December 15, 2018 [8 favorites]

It's dangerous to start your day without breakfast. Take these pancakes!
posted by carsonb at 9:51 AM on December 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

* nods at crash, like it were nothing *
posted by yhbc at 9:54 AM on December 15, 2018 [11 favorites]

Not my buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons.
posted by clavdivs at 10:15 AM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

I had funfetti pancakes for dinner last night. It was great.
posted by peeedro at 10:32 AM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

It's an old meme but it checks out, sir.
posted by loquacious at 10:37 AM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Jessamyn? Can't remember. Butter or no butter?
posted by Sophie1 at 12:55 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

Butter. And real maple syrup. Which means IHOP is dead to me unless we're at the one store in Vermont. But I like this goofy shop. And all of you.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 1:42 PM on December 15, 2018 [10 favorites]

I like pancakes, but I do not like IHOP.
posted by killdevil at 1:50 PM on December 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

I'm all out of snark, I'm so lost without you.

Nice to see ya, mr. Been a while.
posted by theora55 at 2:52 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

I do not understand how anybody could prefer fake butter and fake maple syrup. Tolerate because the price is right, sure. Actually prefer? Pistols at dawn.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:56 PM on December 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

My old dog Samson loved pancakes.

My older dog Tikko also loved pancakes.

My current dog Peter loves pancakes but I have no photographic proof!
posted by moonmilk at 2:59 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

PANCAKE BLUE
posted by bleep at 3:48 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

I thought we'd moved on to waffles... and leggo my leg. Oh.

There was an IHOP (with the high roof) close to my home growing up, but we didn't go there often. And when we did I preferred the blueberry and/or boysenberry syrup (they rarely had both at the same time, probably because they looked totally alike and tasted rather similar) to the kindamaplish... yeah, definitely Pancake Blue.

Just glad to see CRASH didn't totally wendell.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:44 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Want
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:32 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

Yeah. I've now been craving pancakes for a good 8 hours.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:53 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

My wife and son went to the new IHOP that opened up last week. She sniffed that it wasn’t nice at all and the only thing that would save it is staying open so late. (Also it was dirty and messy, which at a brand new place is a bad sign.)

I nodded because duh, that’s IHOP, all right but then I realized she thought it was, like, a normal restaurant where the food matters.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know her.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:14 AM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]

Pancakes! (scroll down for ones you can make at home).
posted by gudrun at 6:01 AM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh my goodness, it's mr._crash_davis!!! Whoo hooo!! Greetings!

Okay, when it comes to pancakes, I'm firmly in the real butter/real maple syrup category. (And have any of you ever had ployes? OHMIGOD, so good.)

And, if any of you are ever in Augusta, Maine, I will treat you to pancakes at our simple and beloved AHOP.

BUT, here's the thing for me about IHOP -- yes it's crap, but it means a lot to me because an IHOP was the scene of one of my favorite memories of my late mother, and this seems like a good time to share it. See, when I travel with my immediate family, well, they like to eat junk, so during those times I pretty much have to too. So one morning my mother (who was about 80 years old at the time), my sister, my nephew and I found ourselves walking over to the IHOP next door to the hotel. (Really, this story is better if I can get up in front of you and act it, but I'll tell it the best I can.) My sister gets to the door first, and holds it open for the rest of us. Only, she doesn't hold it open just a little, like most of us do -- she actually pushes it all the way open inside so it's at a right angle to the door frame, and then stands there next to it holding it. I was the next one in, and even though she wasn't doing it on purpose, it struck me as somehow . . . . ceremonial. She almost looked like a soldier, standing there. So, when I come in I stand immediately to her left, at attention. My nephew has the same sense of humor as I do, so he promptly stands right next to me, so there are three of us in a row at attention, and my sister holding the door. Then, as Mother enters, my nephew and I gesture grandly with our left arms and bow slightly. And my mother, she walks straight past us, no eye contact, and walks straight up to the little hostess stand and says, "Table for one."

That woman, you could NOT out-smartass her.
posted by JanetLand at 6:13 AM on December 16, 2018 [34 favorites]

We were an Elmer's family growing up; local chain if I remember, mostly just in Oregon though I think there were a couple in Washington too? Anyway, my childhood conception of IHOP was as a result actually Elmer's and I remember being a little surprised the first time I actually ate at an IHOP that it didn't feel right in there. I want to say Elmer's was more of a dark varnished wood aesthetic, maybe better food, though I haven't been in one in probably thirty years so who knows.

For the bulk of my childhood I was, however curious or precocious I may have been about other things, deeply incurious about the actual practical geography of the world immediately around me, so that trips anywhere in the car consisted only of start points and end points and a vague haze of passing landmarks. So when we would go to Elmer's I would know we were going there but I wouldn't really know how we were getting there; and when we were going somewhere else and happened to pass an Elmer's on the way it was a kind of shock, like spotting a unicorn, like HOLY SHIT ELMER'S IS RIGHT THERE and the ensuing belief that maybe we would just stop and decide to have pancakes right then, which to my recollection we never did because the person driving the car was an adult with any kind of sense of responsibility.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:54 AM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]

But anyway now I am the adult and now I remember where stuff is better because I have to drive the car from start point to end point, and none of the places I usually go have an Elmer's on the route, so I still don't actually know where the Elmer'ses are, and now and then I'll pass one and honestly I'm still like HOLY SHIT ELMER'S IS RIGHT THERE but now the adult stopping us from just pulling over and having pancakes is just me.

I have been on this website a long time.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:58 AM on December 16, 2018 [8 favorites]

I've been craving pancakes but keep waking up too late to make them. :(
posted by Going To Maine at 12:00 PM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

So many businesses here in San Luis Obispo have names that start with "SLO" (SLObrew, SLOcycle, SLOtransit), I wonder why there isn't a SLOHOP.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:59 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

1. Get pancakes.
2. Butter pancakes.
3. Chop up pancakes.
4. Pour maple syrup on pancakes.
5. Eat.

Any of you heathens who do not cut up the pancake before hosing down with syrup are philistines and deserve the dry, dense experience you’ve created for yourselves.
posted by disclaimer at 4:21 PM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

Thoughts in order:

1. Hah! Crash! Cool.
2. I wonder how Oolong is doing?
3. Oh god how long do rabbits live? Are they one of the short and sweet or weirdly long?
4. ::reads comment by cortex:: oh goddamnit
posted by lazaruslong at 5:36 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

There is a local cool pancake house that is on my shit list because they charge an extra like $2 for maple syrup. I mean seriously, get real.
posted by rhizome at 7:18 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

I would like to dutifully report that on Saturday morning I wore a pancake as a hat to impress a toddler.
posted by loquacious at 8:02 PM on December 16, 2018 [11 favorites]

Did it work?
posted by rhizome at 8:55 PM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]

Yes, the toddler was very impressed. His mother? Not as much.

I will note that wearing a warm, unadorned pancake as a hat is rather soothing and comforting. I would not expect the same results if it had butter and syrup on it.

Oolong was on to something and this may explain how people are able to photograph their pets with pancakes on their heads, and why the subjects all seem to have quizzical, confused looks on their faces. The sequence of thoughts and sensations I felt as I donned my pancake hat was something along the lines of "What the fuck? This is silly." followed shortly by "Wait, that's actually kind of pleasant, like a warm fluffy quilt for my head."

Of course I ate the pancake, don't be silly.
posted by loquacious at 10:18 PM on December 16, 2018 [8 favorites]

Two sharks met in the middle of the desert. You know what one said to the other.
posted by unliteral at 1:51 PM on December 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

We have cameras?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:02 PM on December 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

Today s National Maple Syrup Day which I learned from Bernie Sanders' twitter and all the replies were variants of "You suck" or "Run in 2020" and none of them were YUM which is what I would have said. Happy Maple Syrup Day y'all.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:03 PM on December 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Today s National Maple Syrup Day which I learned from Bernie Sanders' twitter and all the replies were variants of "You suck" or "Run in 2020" and none of them were YUM which is what I would have said. Happy Maple Syrup Day y'all.

The benefits of bilingual packaging become clear. In our fridge right now is...

One bad ambré.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:17 PM on December 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Nods silently, almost imperceptibly, at crash, mentally salutes him with a pancake spatula. Hey there.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:18 PM on December 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

{spills syrup on loquacious}
posted by clavdivs at 6:22 PM on December 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

{spills syrup on loquacious}

Bad clavdivs! You lick that off!

wait stop no help
posted by loquacious at 6:44 PM on December 17, 2018 [4 favorites]

Nice to meet you, mr_crash_davis. Congrats on surviving the coma or whatever. My unsolicited advice: Avoid the megathreads if you want to stick around for awhile. Welcome back!
posted by Bella Donna at 6:56 AM on December 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I don't share the love for IHOP that everyone here seems to have - for me my true 24-hour love will always be Denny's. That's right, I said it.

I moved to the US from Norway when I was 14. A lot has changed in Norway since then, but when I left there were so many things that US had that Norway didn't. Giant supermarkets. All day cartoons. Hot fudge sundaes. And TWENTY-FOUR HOUR DINERS. That any restaurant could be open TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY blew my little immigrant mind, and I was in love. In high school, as soon as we were old enough to drive (at 16! Amazing!), Denny's was the place we'd go grab food at midnight. The cheapest/most filling thing was the Grand Slam, which had pancakes, eggs and your choice of meat, and the syrup from the pancakes would frequently spill over into my eggs. The first time it happened I thought it was a bit weird, but by the end of the meal a new tradition had been born, and from then on I would pour syrup directly over my eggs as well.

All my friends made fun of me for my choice of late-night dining establishments (we were in Los Angeles; it's not like there was a shortage), but I didn't care - it became my thing, and I was fiercely loyal. No IHOP for me, no sirree. In college, we had a tradition of going to Vegas after every finals week, and as you can imagine, it was sacred custom that our first meal be at our favorite Denny's on the strip (there were three for a while; not sure if they're still around). I've since moved to the East Coast and don't make it to Vegas or Denny's much, but to this day, whenever one of my college friends goes to Vegas, they send me a picture of themselves eating eggs with syrup at a Denny's.

Pancakes.

Welcome back, crash!
posted by widdershins at 9:55 AM on December 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

Waffles.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:27 PM on December 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I guess you can only tell that fun joke once, and then it gets a bit tired. Thanks for the lead in mr_crash, I shall now retire it (maybe) - vale John’s dad.
posted by unliteral at 5:03 AM on December 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

There is a local cool pancake house that is on my shit list because they charge an extra like $2 for maple syrup. I mean seriously, get real.

There is a breakfast café that made my shitlist for the same, especially when the wait person didn't bring the maple and seemed confused about the idea that there were two different options, and what's the difference anyway?

(The café did not redeem itself the one other time I went and found a huge honking piece of shell in my my omlette.)
posted by jaruwaan at 11:49 AM on December 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

2 a.m. and hungry now dammit.
posted by carter at 10:59 PM on December 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

grade b maple syrup 4 lyfe yo
posted by entropicamericana at 9:37 AM on December 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I love pancakes. To me, pancakes are large and relatively thin, the way we bake them in the Netherlands. They can be savoury (Cheese! Bacon!) or sweet (Banana! Ginger! Syrup! Jam!) Mmm pancakes.

Vegan pancakes are ridiculously easy:
Mix equal parts apple juice and carbonated water. Mix this with wheat flour to the desired viscosity. Add a bit of salt, and some baking powder for extra fluffiness. If you like you can also add some vanilla sugar to round off the flavour a bit more, the apple juice does this as well.

Bake your pancakes in oil like you normally do and serve immediately.

That's it, that's all. As our neighbours to the south would say, meer moet dat niet zijn.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:21 AM on December 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

To this day I still have a black-and-white copy (printed on an HP at work) of bunny with a pancake on his head photo taped up in my cubicle. From like four jobs ago. Because it's such a good illustration of my sense of humor. Y'all seem to be the only ones who get it.
posted by vignettist at 1:59 PM on December 22, 2018 [2 favorites]