Update to the drunk friend thread

March 20, 2004 12:03 AM

Update to the thread detailing my friend getting busted by the cops: He made a plea bargain with his court appointed lawyer and had his sentencing dropped to 3 years probation with Alcohol Rehabilitation classes. He doesn't get drunk anymore.
posted by Keyser Soze to MetaFilter-Related at 12:03 AM (54 comments total)

Old Link
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:05 AM on March 20, 2004

Help me out here : how is this Metafilter related?

Hey guys! I took a massive dump today, and since I've mentioned my bowels on this site before, I thought I'd just keep you all updated on all the details!

Perhaps you should get your own weblog, Keyser Soze. Then those of us who were interested in any way at all could visit it to keep up with all the news of your friend's legal adventures. And those of us who aren't interested in the slightest could remain blissfully ignorant.

Or, alternately, that thread you link to is still open. You could and should have posted your 'update' there.

The side benefit of these modest proposals would of course be that you might then stop using Metatalk as a chatroom.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:23 AM on March 20, 2004

Jeez, guys. Reading this took up twenty seconds of my time, and I thought it was interesting to find out what had happened, since the original thread was so controversial. I would never have gone back to the original AskMe thread, since they expire so quickly. This is good to know.
posted by interrobang at 1:14 AM on March 20, 2004

I have to agree with interrobang.

[He forces me! Have a heart! He's sending me my Beer Nuts and if I say as much as a smidgen against his every utterance, Bloomington, Indiana and its fine products are forever closed to the likes of me.]

No, really. This enters into the essential "Good To Know" category.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:22 AM on March 20, 2004

Yes, its good to know. I'd like an update every two weeks on his progress. That's what metatalk is for, right?

No, wait, that's what BLOGs are for. So confusing.
posted by justgary at 1:50 AM on March 20, 2004

...sorry?

There doesn't seem to be a way to put this on a system that shows you the outcome of an axme question. yet.
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:33 AM on March 20, 2004

Thanks for the update Soze.
posted by feelinglistless at 3:22 AM on March 20, 2004

I, for one, yearn to know the final outcomes of various AskMe questions (a persistent itch that has received very little scratch, so far - what the hell did oissubke name his company? What did limitedpie name his/her daughter? What about the dental school cafe? Will we ever learn what's been making noises in goethean's wall? And, btw - Mayor Curley, I've since found that a liberal post-bathing application of Johnson's Baby Oil Jel is a fantastic solution!), but I have to agree here. Sorry, Keyser - drop and give us 100 pushups, then go do something perfectly useless for many, many hours - like cleaning the latrines with a toothbrush or digging a really big hole with a spoon. I don't know... something miliitary-like.
posted by taz at 3:50 AM on March 20, 2004

Great news, Keyser, but asking a non-MetaFilter-related question on AskMe doesn't make follow-up news on it MetaFilter-related. This is the second time, as far as I can tell, that you've done this. If everyone here thought follow-up news to an AskMe thread was worthy of a MeTa post, we wouldn't have time on MeTa for the epic flamewars. You gotta realize what's important here. :)

I wish your friend well.
posted by attackthetaxi at 4:52 AM on March 20, 2004

I don't know... something miliitary-like.

I suggest clavdivs for the R. Lee Ermey part
posted by matteo at 5:02 AM on March 20, 2004

"There doesn't seem to be a way to put this on a system that shows you the outcome of an axme question. yet."

There actually is a way to do this: put it in the question's thread. I plan to do so soon when I make the final decision about my last question. Unfortunately that's not very attention-getting, and old Ask threads are especially hard to keep track of, but the forum for such messages is there. This'll all get better when Ask MetaFilter version 1.0 comes out.

For what it's worth, I appreciated the followup, just not the forum used for it.
posted by majick at 6:00 AM on March 20, 2004

I'm with Miguel. It did get discussed here, and I was curious to know. But Stavros is right. You ought to get a blog, Keyser. A lot of the blogs I read I found via metafilter anyway.
posted by zaelic at 6:29 AM on March 20, 2004

I'm glad you updated us. I hope your friend takes this as an opportunity to turn his life around.
posted by bshort at 7:37 AM on March 20, 2004

Followups are a good idea... what about something like this:

1. When an AskMe poster replies to his/her own thread, there is check a box that says "I am posting the resolution/answer to my question". (only once per thread, only the original poster)
2. The "answer" might be just saying "so-and-so answered the question!" or it might be a followup like this one.
3. Here's the important part: A sidebar is added to AskMe entitiled "Recently Resolved Questions:" or some such.
4. Everytime an original poster replies to a thread, and tags their reply as a resolution, the thread is added to the sidebar

Whaddya think?

It would allow for this kind of thing without having to change the simple chronological order of the page and I imagine it wouldn't be too terribly hard to create.
posted by malphigian at 7:57 AM on March 20, 2004

i'm with malphigian on fixing askme,
and it is good to hear, Keyser : >
posted by amberglow at 8:04 AM on March 20, 2004

Keyser, I'm glad my dire prediction did not prevail, but he still needs the support network of his friends.

But why the fuck did you post it here??? ( j/k ;-)

+malphagian
posted by mischief at 8:10 AM on March 20, 2004

Maybe there could be an Answered page (AskMe with a slash thru it?), where AskMe posts go when they're solved/resolved? or with just links to those solved? We could post our links there ourselves using a simple form, and then all of them would be in one place.
posted by amberglow at 8:44 AM on March 20, 2004

How about if you're interested in following an AskMe thread, you bookmark it? Gosh, the wonders of these new technologies.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:02 AM on March 20, 2004

Ctrl + D
posted by matteo at 9:04 AM on March 20, 2004

It's not about following; it's about knowing that an answer/solution/etc was finally provided or occurred. It would also help in preventing repeat questions. (For instance, if limitedpie's baby is not born within 30 days, we're out of luck, and will never know.)
posted by amberglow at 9:46 AM on March 20, 2004

amber,
we all know we owe the 30-day limit to the cult thread junkies
posted by matteo at 10:01 AM on March 20, 2004

I remembered the post in question, but I didn't really see how the post fit MetaTalk. And yet:

I took a massive dump today, and since I've mentioned my bowels on this site before

Here's a young kid with a close friend who has problems. He cares enough and can't find help elsewhere so he turns to MetaFilter and you have the motherfucking temerity to compare his friend's life to a bowel movement. That just sucks. Do me a favor and stop. Whatever your problem is stavros, unfuck it elsewhere. You bring shame to the name of a beloved Kojack sidekick.

Seriously. I've always been confused by you. You can be funny, interesting, entertaining, but also be old and crochety. Except it's been a long time since you've been consistently unpricklike. Perhaps you could Ask Metafilter how to stop taking your unahppiness out on others.
posted by yerfatma at 10:11 AM on March 20, 2004

Here's a young kid with a close friend who has problems.

.

(as in, the world's smallest violin)
posted by SpaceCadet at 10:34 AM on March 20, 2004

He cares enough and can't find help elsewhere

really , i guess aa and alanon are a figment of my imagination then.
posted by sgt.serenity at 10:35 AM on March 20, 2004

and he's in an iron lung , posting by a special pc that reacts to eye blinks.

I hope you feel really bad now stav , you bastard.
posted by sgt.serenity at 10:38 AM on March 20, 2004

and can't find help elsewhere so he turns to MetaFilter

SupportGroupFilter?
Is this something we should strive to achieve?
I thought that very proposal had been struck down long ago.
AskMeFi should be "I don't know much about this shit, can any of guys help me out on this narrow, often-technical topic?". Not "I'm really emotionally affected by this issue, I need your support".
"AskMeFi". Not "SupportMeMeFi".


you have the motherfucking temerity to compare his friend's life to a bowel movement

"Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass." -- Bill Hicks

/cynical bastard

posted by matteo at 11:37 AM on March 20, 2004

Another cool thing about having a "question resolved" check box or something is that one could go back and look for the really tough questions that no one solved if you are feeling especially resourceful. i.e...
-----
AskMe - Unanswered:
| | "Can I bring about world peace?"
| | "How do I build a better mousetrap?"
| | "Cure for the common cold?"
etc.
-----
I like the idea of keeping the thread open until it is solved, but unfortunately that would also mean that the really crappy questions that no one cares about would be around forever.

on preview, I agree with matteo, it really is a slippery slope, first someone writes about their friends or relatives big troubles, then someone figures they can write about their friend's minor illness, then all of a sudden it's I'm-sad-because-my-cat-is-sick-let's-talk-about-it filter.
It's best to keep that stuff with your real-life friends, your blog, or some sort of mental health professional.
posted by milovoo at 11:51 AM on March 20, 2004

Am I the only one who giggled guiltily over Keyser Soze posting about "my friend getting busted by the cops"???
posted by wendell at 11:56 AM on March 20, 2004

Honestly, I wasn't bothered by stavros or anyone elses comments for that matter. I apologize if this isn't *truly* metafilter related, but in a way it is. A lot of people responded on the axme post and I wanted a way to show the outcome, and it seems overall it wasn't the worst idea ive had yet.

If you post a follow up to an axme question thats more than 3 days old the odds your original audience is going to A: care and B: remember why they wanted to care is very slim. I would not expect people to look back in mefi for old posts constantly, as I hope others would not expect the same from me.

Another reason I posted is because of the positive outcome of the situation. My friend stopped getting drunk. No more waking up naked in your backyard, breaking your wrist in a fight, putting your arm through a window drunk. I honestly think if any of you really knew how true these stories are.......

I should get a blog. I just.... well... I would just feel so dorky. Maybe I should throw away my misconceptions.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:09 PM on March 20, 2004

milovoo: awesome idea.
posted by Keyser Soze at 12:22 PM on March 20, 2004

well, Keyser, you could only use it for stuff like this...or for stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else. A lot of us are interested in what's going on with you (re: military or college, etc), and your friend's problem engrossed us too. We're really nosy : >
posted by amberglow at 12:33 PM on March 20, 2004

I changed my mind. You're all right. There's no sense caring about people unless they're some oppressed group that lives on another continent and you can't really do much for them.
posted by yerfatma at 1:46 PM on March 20, 2004

*gets some good hits in on yerfatma*
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:17 PM on March 20, 2004

He doesn't get drunk anymore.

But does he still drink?
______________________
Oh, and get your own damn blog, Keyser!
The "recently resolved" AskMe sidebar sounds like a really good idea. We really need to have a concerted effort for a Haughey fund drive.
posted by anathema at 3:23 PM on March 20, 2004

*throws a crate of beer at anathemas head*
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:25 PM on March 20, 2004

Seriously. I've always been confused by you.

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

It's not that I don't care, yerfatma (well, OK, in this case I actually don't care, but I'm speaking in airy generalities here so as not to confuse you any more), it's that this thread was ill-advised, as others have mentioned.

You'd do better to display the kind of equanimity that Keyser himself did, young'un though he is, upthread.

Whatever your problem is stavros, unfuck it elsewhere.

I got no problem, other than one with you, now, chuckles.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:05 PM on March 20, 2004

There's no sense caring about people unless they're some oppressed group that lives on another continent and you can't really do much for them.

....you haven't noticed the dozens of FPPs going on about how oppressed homosexuals are in the US? No? Join the bandwaggon my friend! No need to look abroad for a minority to care for!
posted by SpaceCadet at 4:13 PM on March 20, 2004

I got no problem, other than one with you, now, chuckles.

Oh happy Christ. We're all well aware of the trail of pixelated bodies behind you. Somebody save me from the wrath of an online persona!
posted by yerfatma at 5:59 PM on March 20, 2004

I don't know if I should be the one saying this, but you both need to grow up or get off the computer and enjoy some analog forms of communication. No offense, and thanks for standing up for me, but lets just move on from throwing rocks at each others glass houses.
posted by Keyser Soze at 6:54 PM on March 20, 2004

HEY LOOK EVERYBODY! A SHINY THING!
posted by quonsar at 7:40 PM on March 20, 2004

will you be my sponsor , keyser ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 8:05 PM on March 20, 2004

Somebody save me from the wrath of an online persona!

No wrath, merely moderate amusement at your histrionics. If this causes you to be fucked in some way, please take your own sage advice, and unfuck yourself elsewhere.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:52 AM on March 21, 2004

Also : I have a trail of pixelated bodies behind me? Cool! You shall know me by the trail of dead!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:54 AM on March 21, 2004

last word.
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:27 AM on March 21, 2004

last word.

No, I want the last word dammit!
posted by SpaceCadet at 4:01 AM on March 21, 2004

so what happened to the woman who lost her kitten ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:32 AM on March 21, 2004

A friend of my colleague's brother got stitched up by the police for a burglary he didn't do. Now that I've told you all, I'll make a MeTa FPP next week to let you all know the latest.
posted by SpaceCadet at 5:43 AM on March 21, 2004

But what did limitedpie call the baby?
posted by biffa at 1:15 PM on March 21, 2004

I feel like jumping on the "smack Keyser Soze" upside the head" bandwagon, if only because he used that obnoxious "Axme" word.

Seriously, while there are plenty who are interested in how this turned out, it is in no way MetaFilter related and any update should have been put in the original AskMe thread or, at the very worst, you could have started a new AskMe thread linking to the original. I am sure you would have no problem asking a new question about your friend's situation.

If you think you are too cool to get a blog for yourself, you could always go through the user pages of those who showed an interest in the situation and send them an e-mail to update things.

On the other hand, you could
HEY LOOK EVERYBODY! A SHINY THING!
*runs over to look*
posted by dg at 2:08 PM on March 21, 2004

You know what, maybe we should all use our own userpages to update each other on AskMe results. Thanks, dg!
posted by amberglow at 2:24 PM on March 21, 2004

Having my own weblog is the coolest thing about me.
posted by timeistight at 2:38 PM on March 21, 2004

yeah, but you're canadian, timeistight ; >
posted by amberglow at 3:47 PM on March 21, 2004

Having my own weblog web site is the coolest thing about me.
Me too. Scary that someone can be so un-cool and still be alive.
posted by dg at 4:12 PM on March 21, 2004

Cute, aren't they?
Puppy breath.
Shiny eyes.
Eager.
Responsive.
Genuine.
Amusing.

Let's hug them
and squeeze them
and call them all George.
posted by Opus Dark at 10:06 PM on March 21, 2004