I'd like to apologise to the Australlian Nation.

May 24, 2006 4:49 PM

I'd like to apologise to the Australlian Nation.
posted by sgt.serenity to Etiquette/Policy at 4:49 PM (95 comments total)

I've been bigoted , i've been wrong , i'm really sorry and i hope you can all forgive me.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:49 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to the people who were with me in the elevator this morning.

Breakfast burrito. Sorry.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:50 PM on May 24, 2006

Metafilter is off the rails!
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 4:50 PM on May 24, 2006

Please obliviate sgt.serenity.
posted by puke & cry at 4:52 PM on May 24, 2006

I would like to apologize to myself. I have tried, and I have tried, but I have never given me as much as I so sorely deserve.
posted by cortex at 4:53 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize for being whiny.
posted by Azhruwi at 4:56 PM on May 24, 2006

Thanks guys. Apology accepted.
posted by esch at 4:57 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to New Zealand.
posted by horsewithnoname at 5:02 PM on May 24, 2006

Could you please apologise for the misspelling while you're at it?
posted by wilful at 5:03 PM on May 24, 2006

It's about fucking time. Now through another shrimp on the barbie, mate.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:07 PM on May 24, 2006

Or throw. Whatever works for you.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:09 PM on May 24, 2006

Damn right, mate.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:18 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologise to sgt. serenity for being Australian.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:18 PM on May 24, 2006

Mate Australia has great climate, great people, great places and are the best neighbours a country could ask for - I wouldn't apologise to them.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 5:24 PM on May 24, 2006

A country that performed so poorly in the Winter Olympics doesn't deserve an apology.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:33 PM on May 24, 2006

Is this a drunk dial? Anyone care to fill the rest of us in on what's going on here?
posted by GuyZero at 5:35 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to the Nation of Domination.
posted by selfnoise at 5:42 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize for cancer.
posted by EarBucket at 5:58 PM on May 24, 2006

Hee, hee, because of this?
posted by tellurian at 6:00 PM on May 24, 2006

Sartre regrets nothing!
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:12 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

You killed Reg Grundy? Bravo!
posted by strawberryviagra at 6:17 PM on May 24, 2006

I think it might be this one, in the Eurovision thread of all places:

I dont know what it is , i have the utmost respect for everyone except australians
posted by smackfu at 6:18 PM on May 24, 2006

If this is about the extinction of the large carnivorous marsupial native to Australia, known as the Tasmanian Tiger, or Thylacine, (Thylacinus cynocephalus) ... well, it was attributed to the relentless efforts of farmers, government-funded bounty hunters and, in its final years, collectors for overseas museums.. Bastards.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:24 PM on May 24, 2006

I'm just very confused about Postmodernism just now.
posted by 3.2.3 at 6:37 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize for that time I made out with your girlfriend in your car while you were otherwise occupied purging yourself of too many mudslides in the bathroom at that filthy truckstop or hooking up with trucker swampass or something. I don't remember. I was really drunk.

But I won't. Damn she's a good kisser.
posted by loquacious at 6:49 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to Canadia for refusing to pronounce your name correctly, while professing my undying respect at the same time.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:50 PM on May 24, 2006

I'm sorry about the mashed potatoes.
posted by brain_drain at 6:59 PM on May 24, 2006

I'm sorry about how badly this apology tanked.
posted by rollbiz at 7:05 PM on May 24, 2006

Joseph Gurl,

We accept. please send donuts to seal the accord.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 7:05 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize for calling you a fucking dick.



Fucking dick.
posted by eyeballkid at 7:16 PM on May 24, 2006

(disclaimer: I don't mean sgt.serenity)
posted by eyeballkid at 7:17 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to the English Department.
posted by oddman at 7:33 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to cranch Norstrilia.
posted by ?! at 7:33 PM on May 24, 2006

Austrailia sucks. Don't apologize.
posted by chasing at 7:35 PM on May 24, 2006

As a Canadian, I'd like to apologize to everyone - but I won't, for fear of leaving someone out. Sorry about that.
posted by Urban Hermit at 7:49 PM on May 24, 2006

This is the apology thread. Make of it what you will.

Wait a minute, NO IT'S NOT!!!
posted by evilcolonel at 7:58 PM on May 24, 2006

I apologize for not being remorseful enough.
posted by nadawi at 8:00 PM on May 24, 2006

Unless you have somehow annihilated beer and sunshine, I think Australia is over it.

Whatever it was.
posted by scarabic at 8:03 PM on May 24, 2006

We're so sorry, Uncle Albert.
posted by hangashore at 8:12 PM on May 24, 2006

I want to thank the Academy.
posted by brownpau at 8:13 PM on May 24, 2006

Go on then. We're waiting.
posted by pompomtom at 8:23 PM on May 24, 2006

Is this a drunk dial? Anyone care to fill the rest of us in on what's going on here?

Maybe he's just trying to inflate his post count again.

Yes, since you ask, I do remember MetaTalk threads from thread years ago, and no, I didn't have anything better to do tonight than sift through sgt.serenity's 1000+ MetaTalk comments in search of that thread. Thanks for asking.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 8:24 PM on May 24, 2006

Three! Three years ago, damn it.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 8:25 PM on May 24, 2006

Three years? Man, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
posted by dg at 8:35 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologise to the Australlian Nation.

Obviously your contempt for the proper spelling of my fine country's name displays your fundamental insincerity to apologise properly. Bastard. Flog him!
posted by sjvilla79 at 8:44 PM on May 24, 2006

i'd like to apologize to the australian nation for sabotaging the last shipment of duct tape ... hopefully not too many of you fell off ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 PM on May 24, 2006

i'm also sorry for deep frying skippy ... i was hungry
posted by pyramid termite at 9:08 PM on May 24, 2006

At least he used the s instead of the z!
posted by shoepal at 9:13 PM on May 24, 2006

lol pyramid termite.
posted by MadamM at 9:14 PM on May 24, 2006

dude - skippy tastes _good_.
posted by coriolisdave at 9:38 PM on May 24, 2006

Personally, I have no idea what the fuck is going on, and therefore, out of whimsy, I think we should throw sgt.serenity on some sort of isolated prison landmass. An island, mayhaps? I think that would be loverly.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:41 PM on May 24, 2006

sgt serenity, don't you need to also ask the Australian nation whether there's anything that you can do to atone?
posted by bingo at 10:03 PM on May 24, 2006

We should have let the Japanese keep them.
posted by delmoi at 10:10 PM on May 24, 2006

I'd like to apologize to Iceland.

You hear that Iceland? I'm sorry. Now, I'm expecting my return apology in the form of skyr. You send me fermented shark and the deal's off.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:10 PM on May 24, 2006

posted by icosahedral at 10:11 PM on May 24, 2006

posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 10:26 PM on May 24, 2006

posted by chasing at 11:26 PM on May 24, 2006

You know what I'd like? Mint milano cookies.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:41 PM on May 24, 2006

posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:53 PM on May 24, 2006

why is this still here? Matt must be doing laundry or something.
posted by puke & cry at 11:59 PM on May 24, 2006

Lucky pouch (ouch)
posted by strawberryviagra at 12:02 AM on May 25, 2006

You know what I'd like? Alyssa Milano cookies. Apparently she's a really good baker! and makes really yummy cookies.
posted by tellurian at 12:40 AM on May 25, 2006

Chasing - that is one of my favourite photo's of all time.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 1:13 AM on May 25, 2006

We should have let the Japanese keep them.

This is the type of analytical savvy and plain cut the mustard mental chops I have come to value the liberal amounts I am smothered (spoiled!) by in practically any thread on any subject that delmoi proffers an opinion (or, Hosannas! several!) on. Which, let us face it, is most of them. I am, however, disappointed by the lack of grammatical solecisms and egregious spelling errors that really put the mark the echt delmoi comment as such.
posted by Wolof at 3:40 AM on May 25, 2006

Mmmmmm, cut the mustard mental chops.
posted by rxrfrx at 4:37 AM on May 25, 2006

This is really rather funny.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 10:19 PM CET on January 24 [+fave] [!]
posted by sveskemus at 4:41 AM on May 25, 2006

I'd like to apologize to the astral plane. I had no idea that the elephant would actually fit through the portal, much less that mr_crash_davis had shared his burrito with it.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:05 AM on May 25, 2006

Australia is a great place. Apart from the fact that it's full of Australians...
posted by i_cola at 5:19 AM on May 25, 2006

Leaving aside the eponysterics, it is only right and proper that Hull be extracted from England, Britain and the DisUnited Kingdom and handed over to the Commonwealth of Australia forthwith. Upon delivery of said item a response to your entreaty will be provided.
posted by peacay at 5:24 AM on May 25, 2006

i_cola
Occupation: Smart Arse

Surely not!
posted by peacay at 5:26 AM on May 25, 2006

I broke the dam!
posted by MzB at 5:40 AM on May 25, 2006

From the ancient thread IshmaelGraves resurrected:

Damn.
The compulsive apologies are kinda creepy.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 11:26 PM EST on January 19

It's like a Twilight Zone episode!

Chasing - that is one of my favourite photos of all time.

And it's now one of mine. This thread was worth it just for that.

Oh, and that previous thread ended thusly; we'll see if history repeats itself:

my apologies .
im not even going to promise not to do it again,
i just wont.
posted by sgt.serenity at 12:38 AM EST on January 22
posted by languagehat at 5:40 AM on May 25, 2006

posted by dgaicun at 6:15 AM on May 25, 2006

This so called apology has now caused more harm to Australians than any bigotry previously posted. Please, please make it stop (I have learned my lesson).
posted by strawberryviagra at 6:30 AM on May 25, 2006

Sorry about the plums.
posted by OmieWise at 6:43 AM on May 25, 2006

Sorry I showed up at your party
Sorry I drank up all the Bacardi
Sorry I puked up on your bedspread
Sorry I wanted to be your boyfriend again
posted by ludwig_van at 6:51 AM on May 25, 2006

I'd like to "apologise" for spelling apologize like a wanker.

I'd also like an apology from "the Australlian nation" for Yahoo Serious.
posted by pardonyou? at 7:06 AM on May 25, 2006

I have forwarded this thread to my all of my Australian friends. For which I apologise.
posted by jack_mo at 7:08 AM on May 25, 2006

Friday night I crashed your party/
Saturday I said "I'm sorry"/
Sunday came you trashed me out again.
posted by OmieWise at 7:08 AM on May 25, 2006

Isn't Yahoo Serious Tazmanian?
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:12 AM on May 25, 2006

Isn't Yahoo Serious Tazmanian?

If he is, then I will apologize to the Australlian nation for demanding an apology. Then I will demand an apology from Tasmania the Tasmannian nation. But this page seems to suggest he's Australian, although his Young Einstein character was from Tasmania.

That reminds me ... while I'm at it, I'd like Yahoo Serious to apologize for Young Einstein
posted by pardonyou? at 7:17 AM on May 25, 2006

OK. As an Australian-American,* I'd like a fucking apology from those cock-nibblers at Outback Steakhouse for their years-long assault on the dignity of my people. Every fucking commercial those pus-lappers run is like a crampon-equipped mountaineering boot stomping over and over on the collective pride of all Austro-Americans. Where did they dig up that faux-metrosexual Waldo they're using as a spokesman now?

OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE, LET MY PEOPLE BE, YOU FUCKERS!

*1/4, to be exact. Grandma was war booty.
posted by COBRA! at 7:17 AM on May 25, 2006

Hey, bitch, I like the Bloomin' Onion. Apologize for that shit.
posted by dgaicun at 7:25 AM on May 25, 2006

posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:36 AM on May 25, 2006

Man, every petal of that fucking onion is fried in the tears of millions of oppressed victims like me. I hope you get heartburn. HEARTBURN, YOU HEAR ME?
posted by COBRA! at 7:36 AM on May 25, 2006

It hurts so good.
posted by dgaicun at 7:42 AM on May 25, 2006

I'd sorry about the cups.
posted by sciurus at 8:34 AM on May 25, 2006

Grandma was war booty

Man, that would make a great movie title. I don't care if it's a comedy or a tragedy, I'll go see it.
posted by languagehat at 10:12 AM on May 25, 2006

I saw it, it had Walter Matthau as the granny. A little known bit of trivia: Cary Grant was the screenwriter on the project, although he used Ring Lardner, jrs. name as a fuck-you to McCarthy and the Blacklist. He's reported to have gotten the idea after several of his lsd sessions, in which he had been pressed to discuss his work on I Was a Male War Bride. The tragedy is that his other project of the period: Bringing Up Baby Bonzo, a critical avant-biographical documentary of Ronald Reagan, never got the greenlight.
posted by OmieWise at 10:23 AM on May 25, 2006

Q: COBRA: Where did they dig up that faux-metrosexual Waldo they're using as a spokesman now?

A: From New Zealand
posted by barnacles at 4:29 PM on May 25, 2006

pardonyou: If Yahoo Serious is Tasmanian, he's still an Australlian.
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:25 PM on May 25, 2006

Why all the hatred against us Australians?

Oh, that's right. You lot are going to invade use sometime soon.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 5:10 AM on May 26, 2006

Q: COBRA: Where did they dig up that faux-metrosexual Waldo they're using as a spokesman now?

A: From New Zealand
posted by barnacles at 6:29 PM CST on May 25 [+fave] [!]

He's a pretender? Jesus, there's no bottom to this hole.
posted by COBRA! at 7:15 AM on May 26, 2006

Flight of the Conchords are very funny.
posted by nomis at 7:33 PM on May 26, 2006

1. I've been to Australia a bunch of times, it's a great place. As a straight male I enjoyed being hit-on by so many hot gay dudes.

2. I've eaten skippy. Really. Well, kangaroo. It tasted like curry. Goat is better.

3. The most ignorant person I've met in my entire life was an Australian guy I met at a pool bar in Vanuatu. He was jaw-droppingly ignorant for someone that was in to travelling.

4. Flight of the Conchords are from New Zealand.

Thank-you.
posted by The Monkey at 9:32 PM on May 26, 2006