Anonymous Ask Metafilter Archive

June 26, 2006 7:15 PM

"Why does eating in a restaurant make me crap my pants?" and 994 other anonymous gems from the Anonymous Ask Metafilter archive. As AskMe readies for it's 1000th anonymous question, the community is hereby polled: How has the feature worked out for the community? Do you ever wonder how some threads were resolved? And at the risk of seeming too voyeuristic, has anyone ever thought about writing fiction based on the scenario in an anonymous AskMe question?
posted by Saucy Intruder to MetaFilter-Related at 7:15 PM (23 comments total)

There is the argument that at least some portion of the anonymous AskMe questions were themselves acts of fiction.
posted by cortex at 7:20 PM on June 26, 2006

I'm too embarassed to answer your questions.
posted by Mr. Six at 7:21 PM on June 26, 2006

God, I've ALWAYS wanted to know about that celebrity-affair one. I NEED CLOSURE!
posted by tristeza at 7:26 PM on June 26, 2006

*its
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:28 PM on June 26, 2006

Meh.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:01 PM on June 26, 2006

God, I've ALWAYS wanted to know about that celebrity-affair one.

*raises hand*

I admit it. It was I who posted the question. However, I changed some of the details so that it wouldn't be so obvious who the celebrity was and who I was.

In fact, it was not a married man. It was a single woman. And a friend of hers. And she was not 7 years my senior, but in fact just a few months younger. Yes, that's right, it was Naomi Watts. And the friend who played along with us? None other than Cheryl Hines. I did them both at the same time and in tandem and between rounds I watched them do each other.

Every third Sunday of the month we invited spectators, usually Europeans; some could not help themselves and had to join in. My favorites were Charlotte Rampling (June), Charlotte Gainsbourg (December), Isabelle Huppert (April and August) and Terence Stamp (January thru March).

I remember one time in particular when Terry and Mi (Watts) were sitting on my Takahama Suzanne Loungers, sipping sake-spiked lemonade and eating dehydrated coconut-skin samosas filled with curried cauliflower and peas. Because Cheryl's legs were wrapped tightly around my ears, I may be a bit off on the dialogue and who said what when, but it went something like:

Mi: Oh, god, he fucks like a stallion.

Terry: Not even in my youth could I have kept up with him.

Mi (yelling, to me): Make her purr, D!

Me: (garbled)

Terry: Not even in my youth.

Mi: Pour me another lemonade, will you dear?

Sound: ice tinkling in the pitcher as Cheryl's screams fill the room.
posted by dobbs at 8:48 PM on June 26, 2006 [4 favorites]

....and....Scene.
posted by Mr. Six at 8:56 PM on June 26, 2006

I found this MeTa so fascinating, I crapped my pants.

Thanks a lot guys.
posted by rollbiz at 9:44 PM on June 26, 2006

I don't really give a shit about any anonymous questions. The most interesting ones are probably made-up anyway.
posted by puke & cry at 9:46 PM on June 26, 2006

Ahh, u.n. owen.
posted by 517 at 10:43 PM on June 26, 2006

I am a anonymous askme junkie. It was better when I would forget about it for a few months, so looking at the page I would have a full evening's worth deliciously personal questions to ogle. Now that I have it bookmarked at both home and work it isn't quite so fun. There were a few weeks there when Friday nights would bring a slew of 'em, but that seems to have slowed.

Seriously, it's like grouphug.us but jucier... meatier.

I love how talking about this causes me to use words related to succulent food. I'm not hungry, either.
posted by frecklefaerie at 11:07 PM on June 26, 2006

Seriously. I check the anonymous contributions page more often than I check boingboing. They've been a few weeks behind these days for my web surfing habits.
posted by frecklefaerie at 11:11 PM on June 26, 2006

So, really, what should I do about knocking up my blind girlfriend's sister?
posted by jenovus at 12:05 AM on June 27, 2006

Oh, wait, that one wasn't anonymous. Oops.
posted by jenovus at 12:10 AM on June 27, 2006

I like and have used anonymous ask.metafilters for ... delicate questions. What I think would be useful would be for the anonymous poster, perhaps using a special code generated for that question, to be able to respond. I've read a couple of anonymous posts where I think I could give a good answer, but need a clarification on a point.
posted by tomble at 12:42 AM on June 27, 2006

How has the feature worked out for the community? Do you ever wonder how some threads were resolved? And at the risk of seeming too voyeuristic, has anyone ever thought about writing fiction based on the scenario in an anonymous AskMe question?

Miguel? Is that you?

I jest because I love! Come back, Migs!
posted by languagehat at 6:02 AM on June 27, 2006

I've never used it, but I think it's a great feature, although the usual IANAD/IANAL cautions apply. As for fiction, I think we've collectively proven again that truth is stranger.

Oh, and:

LICK MY FUCKING FEET YOU FILTHY BASTARD.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:07 AM on June 27, 2006

What a dick. A thousand questions and no answers? And nothing to the grey or the blue? Ban him.
posted by Plutor at 6:36 AM on June 27, 2006

I love anonymous AskMes.

I think, though, that anonymous posters need some way to post within the thread (having jessamyn post on someone's behalf is a kludge, not a hack; I don't doubt that jessamyn is considerate and discreet but others might not share that confidence).

Also I think that since a lot of the questions are personal, "best answers" might not be immediately obvious, or perhaps ever be obvious. So it makes it hard to judge the effectiveness of the feature. You have doubts about it, Saucy Intruder? (I see puke & cry does. Or doesn't, rather.)
posted by Tuwa at 9:20 AM on June 27, 2006

I only asked one anonymous question, but I think it was rejected. I have a feeling maybe Matt or Jess thought I was joking. :(

Either way, an email would have been nice.
posted by ODiV at 10:44 AM on June 27, 2006

ODiV, they shared your question with me and I told them to recommend an easily available pharmaceutical... you mean they didn't pass along the message?

Kidding! I'm kidding!

I didn't recommend anything, I just laughed heartily!
posted by languagehat at 11:15 AM on June 27, 2006

I asked a question about a family crisis, and got some wonderful and sensitive advice from folks who have been through similar challenges.
posted by LarryC at 3:31 PM on June 27, 2006

i posted anonymously once. i got a ton of support and practical examples of how to deal with what i was dealing with. many thanks for the feature.
posted by ifjuly at 2:54 PM on June 28, 2006