Nominations for best one-liner evar

March 13, 2003 4:26 PM

After the one-liner thread started, I began wondering what is the greatest one-liner in the history of MeFi. Any nominations?
posted by gluechunk to MetaFilter-Related at 4:26 PM (38 comments total)

We have cameras, by a long shot.
posted by dg at 4:40 PM on March 13, 2003

dg beat me too it. 3000 noses shot coke at monitors that day.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:46 PM on March 13, 2003

Coca-Cola, I mean.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:47 PM on March 13, 2003

I was going to self nominate a one-liner of mine, but it's been replaced by a Cold Fusion error. That'll teach me to be arrogant, eh?
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:52 PM on March 13, 2003

it's a three-liner, but right here!
posted by amberglow at 4:54 PM on March 13, 2003

Please, if you will, gently and slowly fuck the fuck off.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 5:03 PM on March 13, 2003

i second Yelling At Nothing's nomination. I mean, come on... side-splitting and it's Miguel of all people!
posted by poopy at 5:29 PM on March 13, 2003

from the same thread as Miggy's ultimate putdown, comes this gem:
"And I know you don't care as long as we're all looking at you, but dancing around MeFi in your underwear with your tongue hanging out and urine running down your legs isn't exactly doing much to boost confidence in NeuroProsthesis News" !

Laugh? I nearly bought a round...
posted by dash_slot- at 6:34 PM on March 13, 2003

A recent favorite from our rittle yerrow fliend.
posted by yhbc at 6:39 PM on March 13, 2003

And, though it may now seem to have suffered from overuse, the original oldie but goodie was a devastatingly brilliant put-down for its moment.
posted by yhbc at 6:46 PM on March 13, 2003

I will see you and raise: what was the most inspired multi-party riff?

Humbly offered generic example.
posted by y2karl at 8:32 PM on March 13, 2003

motherfucking DUH.
posted by homunculus at 9:29 PM on March 13, 2003

"What's the tackiest piece of 9/11 memorabilia you've seen?

warblogs.

posted by jcterminal at 8:24 PM PST on August 12"
posted by RJ Reynolds at 10:55 PM on March 13, 2003

I've always though the "Spell, baby, spell" line from the "motherfucking DUH" thread was better.

Also, this one from y6y6y6: "I really get the idea that many here care, and many just enjoy spinning around with their dick out, spraying urine all over the place." It never fails to give me a chuckle.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 1:50 AM on March 14, 2003

Crap, is anyone else bookmarking these? It makes me feel kinda bad.
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 1:51 AM on March 14, 2003

the "warblogs" comment is definitely one of the best ever, the classic "pancakes" has unfortunately been killed by pointless overuse (I'm guilty of it, too).

holgate's old "In your Arab-hating dreams" has a special place in my heart. Because the irony is, of course, that the Arab-hating dream sadly came true

And, if taglines count as one-liners, there's a lot of great ones
posted by matteo at 4:51 AM on March 14, 2003

My all-time favorite favorite, followed very closely by

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
MATT?

which really isn't a one-liner - it's a four-liner. But I love it anyway.
posted by iconomy at 5:51 AM on March 14, 2003

Oh. Oh dear.
posted by adampsyche at 6:12 AM on March 14, 2003

Not a one liner, but one of my favorite memes-by-proxy which happens now and then:
"fishfucker, you have a good point."

I just love it when people get all serious and include some of the more trollish user names.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:14 AM on March 14, 2003

sorry i was made these post because a error...

administrator!!! please hope me!
posted by walrus at 7:33 AM on March 14, 2003

I remember someone ranting about how people will say things on the metafileter they would never, ever, ever say to someone in real life...to which someone responded.

"Nigga what?"
posted by sexymofo at 9:07 AM on March 14, 2003

Earlier cognate thread for your, um, enjoyment.
posted by mcwetboy at 10:28 AM on March 14, 2003

...some of the more trollish user names.

if only this was just a username...

*cries*
posted by fishfucker at 11:15 AM on March 14, 2003

I second RJ Reynolds' nomination. It also wins best one word comment.
posted by pitchblende at 11:18 AM on March 14, 2003

mcwetboy, that thread was nothing but a bunch of poo-flinging.
posted by languagehat at 11:50 AM on March 14, 2003

CC: Dude *a-huh*. You just like *huh*, came on to like 10, 000 guys.

Busy weekend ahead...
posted by i_cola at 1:46 PM PST on August 2

Everything past Coldchef's repeated admission makes me laugh to this day.
posted by daver at 11:57 AM on March 14, 2003

I know this is not a very funny one-liner by itself, but I every time I read this comment after the huge fight and Matt's scolding I crack up. Maybe it is because in my head I see it as: mathowie="Calvin's mom" and moz="Calvin after destroying the garage or some other mischief".
posted by fjom at 4:07 PM on March 14, 2003

I'd like to bite her in the ass, develop lockjaw, and be dragged to my death.
posted by jonson at 4:24 PM on March 14, 2003

fjom, that whole thread is one of my favorites, but the one that caused it is even better—I'm desolated that it's no longer extant. Anybody have a copy?
posted by languagehat at 5:04 PM on March 14, 2003

This isn't a one liner, but the last few lines of Awol's comment had me laughing for days.
posted by the biscuit man at 5:45 PM on March 14, 2003

This comment by ColdChef at the top of the thread about rapper Ice-T's new ice cream brand triggered an actual spit-take of coffee on my iBook.
posted by planetkyoto at 7:34 PM on March 14, 2003

What? No pancakes, ponies or vibrating yet? You guys are slipping.
posted by Hackworth at 6:33 PM on March 15, 2003

Fuck you Miguel, fuck you Miguel, Fuck you Miguel.
posted by DBAPaul at 7:07 PM on March 15, 2003

Yeah, I remember that one. ;)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:20 PM on March 15, 2003

I think he wants to fuck you, miguel.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:04 AM on March 16, 2003

*blushes*
posted by ColdChef at 3:08 PM on March 17, 2003

...he doesn't want to kill anybody--he's a tobacco farmer.

*petitions for the retirement of NortonDC's user number.*
posted by xiffix at 1:58 PM on March 18, 2003

*takes the hand of a MeFi friend to my left, takes the hand of a MeFi friend to my right, bows head in sadness and silence*
posted by y6y6y6 at 6:57 AM on March 20, 2003