It Vibrates

September 24, 2004 11:14 AM

I will pay mathowie $10 (or more) to auto delete any post that contains "it vibrates". I'm 100% serious.
posted by jonah to Feature Requests at 11:14 AM (52 comments total)

Is that $10 per deletion, or $10 for the whole job? I'm 100% not serious.
posted by footballrabi at 11:19 AM on September 24, 2004

Lapdaaance!
posted by Stan Chin at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2004

That's good you're not only like 67% serious.
posted by xmutex at 11:23 AM on September 24, 2004

Even if he agreed to it, you'd regret it once the collective lazy smirk engaged and everyone started putting 'it vibrates' in every single post. If you're actually 100% serious, by posting the offer here, you've already shot off 73% of your foot.
posted by picea at 11:24 AM on September 24, 2004

that's 27% of a good point
posted by jonah at 11:29 AM on September 24, 2004

wait...this ten dollars--it vibrates?

that's 10 so far...who's with me? let's bankrupt jonah. (and matt will finally be able to afford that mansion and a yacht) ; >

what's so wrong with "it vibrates"? it reminds us of the hysterical vibrating broom episode.
posted by amberglow at 11:34 AM on September 24, 2004

So this 27%, it vibrates?

Oh my god, I'm being deleted!!!!
posted by InfidelZombie at 11:36 AM on September 24, 2004

I'll raise you to $15 if he deleted every comment or FPP that has the word ______Filter.
posted by adampsyche at 11:36 AM on September 24, 2004

CellPhoneFilter: When my cell phone is set to "silent", it vibrates instead of ringing. Sometimes this startles me. How can I make it stop?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:38 AM on September 24, 2004

mathowie deletes far too much as it is.
posted by quonsar at 11:41 AM on September 24, 2004

Next time the server needs upgrading, mathowie should just set prices on the whole in joke page.

I'd match AdamPsyche's $15 (one time only) if it also carried over to AskMe. That place would be 100% perfect if everyone realized the ____Filter joke is over.
posted by Gary at 11:41 AM on September 24, 2004

Hey guys, can you believe it's been more than two years since the first Harry Potter broom thread was posted?

Good times.
posted by turaho at 12:05 PM on September 24, 2004

I just paid mathowie $10 to *not* auto delete any post that contains "it vibrates".

So you can all go home now. The fun's over. Nothing to see here.
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:09 PM on September 24, 2004

I should start a dropcash site. y6^3 did in fact pay me ten bucks. Who's gonna beat him? :)

(seriously, don't give me money for this)
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:10 PM on September 24, 2004

Drop a tenski in for any Goatse post and I'll kick in half. Jesus H. Christ....
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:23 PM on September 24, 2004

/me vibrates profusely!

/me vibrates even more profusely!!

/me brisantly explodes.
posted by loquacious at 12:29 PM on September 24, 2004

Tired in-joke is trotted out yet again. Film at 11.

...

DOH!
posted by scarabic at 12:31 PM on September 24, 2004

unfortunately, bankrupting me does not equal mansion and yacht, think more doghouse and Sunfish

More to the point, the prevalent "it vibrates" comments are just one of those pet peeves of mine, they never add anything to the discussion and just harken back to a not-so-amusing inside joke.

Purely a personal problem for me, I know. In attempt to alleviate my personal burden, i made a flippant offer (although in good faith) and that's that.
posted by jonah at 12:56 PM on September 24, 2004

He should start with this thread.
posted by The God Complex at 1:08 PM on September 24, 2004

I'll give Matt $10 to delete any user who bitches in MetaTalk about "it vibrates."
posted by eyeballkid at 1:13 PM on September 24, 2004

Complaining about 'it vibrates' is equivalent to proclaiming 'no sense of humor'. ;-P
posted by mischief at 1:33 PM on September 24, 2004

you'll have to beat the $10.01 I sent. And I'm not bitchy. I'm moody.
posted by jonah at 1:34 PM on September 24, 2004

I just gave Matt $10. Thats it, really.
posted by vacapinta at 1:39 PM on September 24, 2004

I think Matt should start deleting users, too. Deleting them... permanently. [evil laugh echos through the darkened room]
posted by five fresh fish at 1:41 PM on September 24, 2004

"echos" as in: you just disappeared?
posted by scarabic at 2:30 PM on September 24, 2004

FRIENDS! LISTEN FOR THIS CONCERNS US ALL!

METAFILTER has DESCENDED from its SELF-POLICING IDEALS
into a TOXIC CESSPOOL of CORRUPTION and BRIBERY!
Where anyone with TEN BUCKS can exercise PROXIMATE CONTROL
over a SO-CALLED "COMMUNITY" of thousands!
I tell you FRIENDS the time has come to RESTORE VIBRANT DEMOCRACY
to this VIRTUAL TAMMANY HALL
together we will SWEEP THE RATS OUT of their DARK CORNERS!
and into the BLUE LIGHT OF DAY!
DO NOT BE AFRAID for the FOUNDATION will be built again!!!
posted by Hildago at 2:44 PM on September 24, 2004 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter (the wiki, actually) is number 2 on the Internet for injoke.

You can't pay for that kind of exposure!
posted by me3dia at 2:47 PM on September 24, 2004

Hildago - can I give you $9.99 to retract that inflammatory propaganda? Maybe you haven't heard of the trickle down effect, it's good for the greater community.
posted by jonah at 3:01 PM on September 24, 2004

Hildago=Emma Goldman? : >

(but on AskMe, ___Filter serves as our own categorizing thing, so shhh.)
posted by amberglow at 3:01 PM on September 24, 2004

I'm vibrating just because loquacious said "brisantly"...
posted by LairBob at 3:09 PM on September 24, 2004

How much does a good stepladder cost? Because I'll pay for a roomful of 'em if it means the I Hate In-Jokes Brigade will just get over it.
posted by scody at 3:30 PM on September 24, 2004

I don't hate in jokes, in jokes are funny (thus the joke designation). "It vibrates" is just tired.
posted by jonah at 3:52 PM on September 24, 2004

It's sort of too bad that Matt almost certainly has pesky principles and vacuous values. Because we have people like Midas Mulligan who claim to be flush, and aggrieved at the MeFi community (its bias, say). Imagine the havoc they could cause. Ten bucks is nothing. Think more like $5,000, which is a very persausive amount but still small enough to be something a lot of people would blow on something as trivial as molding MeFi to their evil whims.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:54 PM on September 24, 2004

quonsar wears ostensibly "nanotechnological" pants. Or so I am told...
posted by y2karl at 4:12 PM on September 24, 2004

I'm going to throw in ten bucks for every time eyeballkid says "I hate you all" and another ten for every time mcsweetie says "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP".
posted by iconomy at 4:14 PM on September 24, 2004

And what's to say that isn't already what's happening, EB? [muwahahahahaha!]

Ahem.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:15 PM on September 24, 2004

technically, won't matt have to delete this thread and you would pay him $10 for doing it?

I'd be willing to add an "it vibrates" comment to each and every political message, if only to clean up the site, and give Matt his financial freedom, even if it puts jonah into the poorhouse.
posted by crunchland at 4:21 PM on September 24, 2004

I'm going to throw in ten bucks for every time eyeballkid says "I hate you all"

I haven't really said that in a while ico. I just keep my hate bound up in a little ball now. And I use a lot of smilies. ^_^

Truthfully, I don't hate you all anymore.

Just Eternal Blight and EBjr.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:40 PM on September 24, 2004

.
posted by y2karl at 5:08 PM on September 24, 2004

I'd happily pay Matt $20 if he truncated all of Ethereal Bligh's posts to the first 100 characters with trailing dots. I don't know Cold Fusion, but in VBScript you'd write it like this:-

Response.Write (Left (EB post, 100) & "...")

Seriously.

maybe not
posted by SpaceCadet at 5:28 PM on September 24, 2004

Wait... mathowie deletes things? From Metafilter?
posted by eustacescrubb at 5:29 PM on September 24, 2004

Is this something I'd need to read the MeFi wiki to understand? Because I don't read the MeFi wiki.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:34 PM on September 24, 2004

I just don't know
posted by leotrotsky at 6:08 PM on September 24, 2004

my pony, it vibrates when i feed it the best.pancakes.ever
posted by pyramid termite at 6:09 PM on September 24, 2004

posted by y2karl at 6:36 PM on September 24, 2004

This could be bad news for jonah...
posted by Fezboy! at 6:59 PM on September 24, 2004

matt:

1. find comment using searchstring "it vibrates".
2. delete comment
3. ?????
4. profit!
posted by iconomy at 7:37 PM on September 24, 2004

(and matt will finally be able to afford that mansion and a yacht) ; >

don't forget the monocle polish!
posted by mkdg at 7:39 PM on September 24, 2004

y2karl: I suddenly have a hankering for some skittles.
posted by falconred at 7:45 PM on September 24, 2004

Y'know, if we had to elect a tyrannical leader, I'd vote Matt in a heartbeat. He's my kinda tyrannical!
posted by five fresh fish at 8:58 PM on September 24, 2004

iconomy: I think it goes

1. find comment using searchstring "it vibrates".
2. delete comment
3. collect $10 from jonah
4. profit!

So we've finally discovered the missing link. We've finished the internet!

You can go outside now kids...
posted by i_cola at 11:01 AM on September 25, 2004

It's funny because it's true.
posted by iconomy at 7:19 AM on September 26, 2004