Chop your wife into pieces March 31, 2005 12:14 PM   Subscribe


It's just you.
posted by LouReedsSon at 12:16 PM on March 31, 2005


yeah, AC needs a vacation. No way does that size bag store arms, and what about the drippy blood? I wish people would think through their "answers" before blurting out the first plausible thing that comes to mind.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 12:19 PM on March 31, 2005


Ok, thanks for clearing that up.
posted by craniac at 12:20 PM on March 31, 2005


This is what the flag post button is for.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2005


Well, it made me laugh like a drain, so I'd rather Mr. Cooke didn't go on vacation.

I know we're supposed to only provide sensible answers to AskMe qquestions but surely a bit of occasional light relief isn't such a big deal. Is it? Really? Some of those questions positively beg for it.
posted by Decani at 12:24 PM on March 31, 2005


That was pretty insensitive. Some of us have actually been chopped up and sold in bags.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:24 PM on March 31, 2005


I should have pointed out that, as a child, I was raised to adulthood by two foam bags, making this post very hurtful.
posted by craniac at 12:26 PM on March 31, 2005


A deletion would suffice. Still, how sturdy were the bags? Are we talking some thin, sandwich bags or some really thick ones that could hold several pounds of rigid flesh and bone without breaking.
posted by Arch Stanton at 12:27 PM on March 31, 2005


isn't selling things in dime bags illegal?
posted by matteo at 12:28 PM on March 31, 2005


It did come out of left field. I think probably mecran01 wasn't looking for advice on how to chop and store a dead body.

But I was, so I'm glad you called attention to that thread.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:35 PM on March 31, 2005


Well, it made me laugh like a drain,

Your drain laughs?

Maybe, you need a vacation, dude. At a place with nice soft walls.
posted by jonmc at 12:41 PM on March 31, 2005


I don't know. I think that although that may not have been the answer he was looking for, it was a perfectly good suggestion. I mean c'mon, how many times have you been in a situation where you need some handy storage for body bits?
posted by Specklet at 12:42 PM on March 31, 2005


Your drain laughs?
Mine do, gargle gargle.
When I read it, I had to pause to realize the poster gave tmi and iirc had ignored the comment which is his call. If you decide to send Andrew on a vacation and it’s a fun place, please send me too.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2005


c'mon, how many times have you been in a situation where you need some handy storage for body bits?

Hm. Good question. Scarabic?
posted by taz at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2005


just sent this to matt as email, but site now back. might be bad conexin here. in a rush.

hi,

ironically, i'm about to leave on vacation (a few days in valdivia), so
please can you post this email when the site comes back, if you have a
moment? i've been called out on meta for posting something to askme. the
original question was chatty, i thought, but yes, it was too chatty as a
response, and i'm sorry for that. however, i guess it's being objected to
for the content. it was meant as a joke, but obviously if a joke like
that fails then no explaining will help. it's also struck me now, seeing
it out of context, that it might be taken particularly as a statement of
violence against women, which, as i hope is obvious, was certainly not the
intention.

if there are comments about other posts in the thread, well, i can't
address those. i am indeed exhausted. i left work early at the end of
last shift after a very difficult week and, indeed, have a vacation that i
am very much looking forwards to. i didn't thinking i was posting worse
than normal in general, and try to give useful answers on askme generally,
but it's possible that i've missed things.

sorry, this is the second time in a few days i've been called out. i
thought the first was unfair, but i guess twice is more than unlucky.
i'll be back in a few days.

andrew
posted by andrew cooke at 1:23 PM on March 31, 2005


andrew cooke writes "it's also struck me now, seeing it out of context, that it might be taken particularly as a statement of violence against women, which, as i hope is obvious, was certainly not the intention."

Only by humorless PC axe-grinders afraid that even cracking a smile would be a ideological thought-crime.

Oh, right, we're on MetaFilter.

I keed, I keed, I love you all! /orthogonality the Insult Comic Dog.
posted by orthogonality at 1:34 PM on March 31, 2005


andrew - your body disposal tactics are so amateurish as to come off as an OBVIOUS joke and I mean IMMEDIATELY.

So yeah, we get that. But come on. Even as a joke that wasn't a nice thing to say to the wife. Not to mention being unhelpful.

But if ever there was a time to just use the flag and move on, this is it. AC makes deletable comment. What's the big deal? Don't take it too hard. We still love you.
posted by scarabic at 1:37 PM on March 31, 2005


have fun on your vacation. Also, don't check that luggage.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:54 PM on March 31, 2005


What's the big deal here? WIth such a wide readership, don't you think it plausible that someone out there needs a way to store bits of the wife in? Or do we now discriminate against wife-killers as well?
posted by dg at 1:56 PM on March 31, 2005


Personally, I generally discriminate against wife-killers. It's possible my mind could be changed on that, but at this moment I feel comfortable with that, and hope there's other MeFites that feel the same way.
posted by raedyn at 2:02 PM on March 31, 2005


Whatever you do, DO NOT use any form of the word "egregious" around andrew cooke. He starts spitting like an ornery hellcat!
posted by naxosaxur at 2:13 PM on March 31, 2005


I need a vacation. I've been working 70+ hours/week on these *#!*@ tax returns, and I'd like to go somewhere relaxing. April 15 is a Friday, and I get the following Monday off, so I'm thinking a weekend in NYC might be the ticket. Thanks for asking.
posted by anapestic at 2:14 PM on March 31, 2005


"Personally, I generally discriminate against wife-killers. It's possible my mind could be changed on that, but at this moment I feel comfortable with that, and hope there's other MeFites that feel the same way."

Well, that just shows what an awful person you are, doesn't it? Wife-killers need jobs and groceries and a nice backrub, too, you know. The world isn't all about you, you, you.

"He starts spitting like an ornery hellcat!"

That response is extreme. It's way, way, um, excessive.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:15 PM on March 31, 2005


I just want help brainstorming what these could be used for, so I can unload them. I don't even need to charge more than two bucks apiece. From the original AskMe question (emp. mine).

Given this part of the question, no answer is out of bounds.
Brainstorming.
The act of which you don't eliminate any answer until all answers are submitted. Therefore I, personally, have more objection to the form of the question (not the question itself), then the answer.
posted by edgeways at 2:19 PM on March 31, 2005


Ehtereal Bligh, how inept are you that you can't deduce colorful lexicon as hyperbole? sheet.
posted by naxosaxur at 2:27 PM on March 31, 2005


what's going on in here?
posted by naxosaxur at 2:31 PM on March 31, 2005


Nothing, mom.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:48 PM on March 31, 2005


jesus that's rough. I deleted it.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2005


Metafilter: Spitting like an Ornery Hellcat
posted by BoringPostcards at 2:54 PM on March 31, 2005


Metafilter: Metafilter:
posted by sonofsamiam at 3:11 PM on March 31, 2005


Personally, I generally discriminate against wife-killers. It's possible my mind could be changed on that, but at this moment I feel comfortable with that, and hope there's other MeFites that feel the same way.
I am sure there are - those that have never been married ;-)
posted by dg at 3:31 PM on March 31, 2005


Good times, good times.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 3:37 PM on March 31, 2005


Ethereal James Rutherford Bligh! Take that mathowie out of your mouth this instant! Ugh...you don't know where that's been!
posted by spaghetti at 3:41 PM on March 31, 2005


We, here, at the Divine Bleeding Heart Church of Sacred Wife Killers Who Depend on Small Padded Bags will not be mocked. You will be hearing from our lawyers and/or our God.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:43 PM on March 31, 2005


Personally I don't see the big deal - we have laws against the wife-laugh-chop-bits-bag type scenario, do we really need censorhip as well?
posted by Samuel Farrow at 4:48 PM on March 31, 2005


I thought it was funny, but out of place...

I had thought of the Mike Meyers on SNL sketch, "you could put your weed in there, maaan."

AC, enjoy your vacation!
posted by schyler523 at 4:50 PM on March 31, 2005


Perhaps, craniac, you could visit websites where the humorless are better welcomed?
posted by xmutex at 4:59 PM on March 31, 2005


The humorless are completely welcome at AskMe. What are you talking about?
posted by scarabic at 5:10 PM on March 31, 2005


Without the humorless, what would the rest of us do?
posted by mischief at 5:23 PM on March 31, 2005


"I thought it was funny, but out of place..."

Exactly.
posted by klarck at 5:48 PM on March 31, 2005


Good point, mischeif. Not only would we have no world bank, no traffic signals, no streetsweeping, etc, we would have no one to make fun of!
posted by scarabic at 6:16 PM on March 31, 2005


I've heard a lot of things about that comment, klarck, but never that it wasn't helpful to the question.
posted by scarabic at 6:40 PM on March 31, 2005


Ethereal James Rutherford Bligh! Take that mathowie out of your mouth this instant!

spaghetti: calling mathowie a cock so i don't have to.
posted by quonsar at 7:27 PM on March 31, 2005


I don't think you ever "have to", quonsar.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:50 PM on March 31, 2005


Ethereal Bligh: stating the obvious because he's read the RFC
posted by quonsar at 8:07 PM on March 31, 2005


sonofsamiam : "Metafilter: Metafilter:"

Metafilter: Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:
posted by Bugbread at 8:13 PM on March 31, 2005


That famous comment from Scarabic is one of my all-time favorites. In fact, on several occasions I have quoted from it in conversations involving the disposal of the recently deceased (to which I get a variety of stares and my interlocutors generally request the origin of such knowledge and I proudly state "Metafilter.").
posted by shoepal at 9:16 PM on March 31, 2005


The comments in this thread are funny. The original was just sorta dumb. I shouldn't have posted about it here, poor etiquette on my part.

Earlier in the day I had been reading about the BTK serial killer in Wichita while my wife underwent minor surgery, then I read that comment and it just seemed not that funny and weirdly aggressive, like "Hey dumbass! You need help with your furnace? Stuff your wife's body in there man!" and I overreacted.
posted by craniac at 9:23 PM on March 31, 2005


*waits for follow-up post about the best way to cut through bone cleanly*
posted by dg at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2005


I need a vacation.
posted by grouse at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2005


"Hehehe hey what's up?" "nothing, man" "Hey, why don'tchew put on that MC, the MC... uh... the... with, y'know the one that had the thing, and the stuff, and the, I... y'know I don't remember exactly but it was tiiight! Why dontcha put that on?" "I think I deleted it." "WHaaa hahaha? What'dya mean you deleted it?" Psst. It was MC Frontalot.
posted by loquacious at 2:20 AM on April 1, 2005


jonmc: for your edification and enlightenment.

You need a vacation, dude. Maybe outside the US?
posted by Decani at 6:41 AM on April 1, 2005


You need a vacation, dude. Maybe outside the US?

My mom says there's a lot of foreigners outside the Us.
posted by jonmc at 7:14 AM on April 1, 2005


She's lying.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 9:35 AM on April 1, 2005


Is this one of those threads that's addressing the [adjective] of [noun]? If so, I cannot [verb] the matter to any great degree, as I [adverb] have little interest or concern for [noun], [adjective], or any [verb] pretaining to [noun]...
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:35 AM on April 1, 2005


My mom says there's a lot of foreigners outside the Us.

Your mom is right. But there are a lot of foreigners inside the US too. Like me. With my strange idioms. Cor, and indeed, blimey, Mary Poppins.
posted by Decani at 12:45 PM on April 1, 2005


Don't forget neap!
posted by squirrel at 11:23 PM on April 2, 2005


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