Gossip is better than tittyfucking October 5, 2005 5:29 PM Subscribe
I am very much against the anti-gossipy-threads bias of so many users and of Numero Uno. More inside.
How *do* you tittyfuck a guy anyway? Wouldn't he have to be with a guy fat enough to have really big man-boobs?
posted by clevershark at 5:34 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by clevershark at 5:34 PM on October 5, 2005
In other news, the magnesium citrate I took earlier is working like gangbusters. Whee!
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on October 5, 2005
It's nice to see I'm not the only one who zeroed in on the most crucial part of the discussion!
posted by clevershark at 5:35 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by clevershark at 5:35 PM on October 5, 2005
post it anonymously on askmefi, then: "How *do* you tittyfuck a guy anyway?"
that'd be a quality post. just don't mention Tom Cruise (as in, "how do you tittyfuck Tom Cruise when he gets old and fat?". now, that would make your post be deleted. the tittiyfucking part would be considered interesting)
posted by matteo at 5:39 PM on October 5, 2005
that'd be a quality post. just don't mention Tom Cruise (as in, "how do you tittyfuck Tom Cruise when he gets old and fat?". now, that would make your post be deleted. the tittiyfucking part would be considered interesting)
posted by matteo at 5:39 PM on October 5, 2005
"...the magnesium citrate I took earlier is working like gangbusters."
I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:40 PM on October 5, 2005
I do not wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:40 PM on October 5, 2005
But wait! Without quality posts like these, how else will the next generation learn how to properly tittyfuck Tom Cruise?
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:52 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:52 PM on October 5, 2005
Seriously, has there or has there not been a real live tittyfucking AskMe?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:59 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:59 PM on October 5, 2005
Thank you matteo.
posted by greasy_skillet at 6:00 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by greasy_skillet at 6:00 PM on October 5, 2005
Thank you kindly, maams.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:07 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:07 PM on October 5, 2005
Thanks for sharing.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2005
the occasional gossipy post won't kill the site.
No, but a deluge of them will.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2005
No, but a deluge of them will.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2005
It's really too bad that askme was anonymous, the member missed out on fame like is rarely seen here.
posted by Mitheral at 6:16 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by Mitheral at 6:16 PM on October 5, 2005
I guess I should just have a daily pointless open thread like dailykosistan? Is that what you really want?
posted by mathowie (staff) at 6:22 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by mathowie (staff) at 6:22 PM on October 5, 2005
the occasional gossipy post won't kill the site.
I'd have to agree with matteo, and my reason is the same reason I don't mind newsfilter posts; whatever else you can say about the membership of this site, we are intelligent, creative people. The ensuing conversation, even about something as trivial as the impending Cruiselet, is going to more interesting (or at least more funny) than anywhere else on the net. At this point, the strenght of the site is it's membership, not it's format.
posted by jonmc at 6:28 PM on October 5, 2005
I'd have to agree with matteo, and my reason is the same reason I don't mind newsfilter posts; whatever else you can say about the membership of this site, we are intelligent, creative people. The ensuing conversation, even about something as trivial as the impending Cruiselet, is going to more interesting (or at least more funny) than anywhere else on the net. At this point, the strenght of the site is it's membership, not it's format.
posted by jonmc at 6:28 PM on October 5, 2005
There is a reason AskMe exists. Google "How To Titty Fuck". The closest I got was:
Dog fuck movies free lesbian fuck free orgy, titty fuck fuck movies. Titty fuck forced fuck, high school fuck college fuck. Teacher fuck... [Read More] ...
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2005
Dog fuck movies free lesbian fuck free orgy, titty fuck fuck movies. Titty fuck forced fuck, high school fuck college fuck. Teacher fuck... [Read More] ...
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2005
a daily pointless open thread
Or, even, a monthly one. Say, on MetaTalk. A long, fun thread with boats and animals of sorts whether they be wild, domestic or scientologist.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:43 PM on October 5, 2005
Or, even, a monthly one. Say, on MetaTalk. A long, fun thread with boats and animals of sorts whether they be wild, domestic or scientologist.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:43 PM on October 5, 2005
C'mon, you honestly think tittyfucking is worse than Tom Cruise and his beard?
There's nothing interesting about delmoi's post. Take it to MeCha, where gabbing is the goal, or to MoFi, where at least they won't be mean about you posting it there.
posted by klangklangston at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2005
There's nothing interesting about delmoi's post. Take it to MeCha, where gabbing is the goal, or to MoFi, where at least they won't be mean about you posting it there.
posted by klangklangston at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2005
A long, fun thread with boats and animals
and chicks! and guns! and fire engines!
posted by jonmc at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2005
and chicks! and guns! and fire engines!
posted by jonmc at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2005
open threads? who, me? no Matt, it's your site, you're free to turn askme into asslicking101 if you want. I was more surprised at how many members passionately hate gossipy threads, that's all. me, I'd much rather trade every "this new Apple shit rawks" or "this Flash game's so kewl" thread with a Jessica Simpson one. but again, it's me.
maybe oneday a user will post a tittyfucking Flash game, no Tom Cruise in sight, and we'll all be happy
posted by matteo at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2005
maybe oneday a user will post a tittyfucking Flash game, no Tom Cruise in sight, and we'll all be happy
posted by matteo at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2005
Yeah, Kevin, a search of "titty fuck Tom Cruise", even quoted, yields several hits. But none of them deliver the goods they promise. So, I guess, there's a reason MeTa exists too. I truly believe this thread will deliver a google hit of substance.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:52 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:52 PM on October 5, 2005
you honestly think tittyfucking is worse than Tom Cruise and his beard
worse? I dunno. more embarrassing, certainly
posted by matteo at 6:53 PM on October 5, 2005
worse? I dunno. more embarrassing, certainly
posted by matteo at 6:53 PM on October 5, 2005
I guess I should just have a daily pointless open thread like dailykosistan? Is that what you really want?
Kind of like FYAD meets MeFi? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!?
posted by keswick at 6:54 PM on October 5, 2005
Kind of like FYAD meets MeFi? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!?
posted by keswick at 6:54 PM on October 5, 2005
the occasional gossipy post won't kill the site.
No, but a deluge of them will.
Well, they won't kill it, but they will change it into something that we no longer recognise. Same thing really, for me anyway. But then, all good things must come to an end.
note: this is not a prediction of the imminent death of metafilter
posted by dg at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2005
No, but a deluge of them will.
Well, they won't kill it, but they will change it into something that we no longer recognise. Same thing really, for me anyway. But then, all good things must come to an end.
note: this is not a prediction of the imminent death of metafilter
posted by dg at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2005
You already FYAD-leak all over MeFi all the time, keswick. No need to formalize it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:57 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:57 PM on October 5, 2005
no Matt, it's your site, you're free to turn askme into asslicking101 if you want.
You know, you can discuss your disapproval of the delete without continuously being a douchebag about other people's posts, which sorta kinda undercuts your argument for leaving the baby Cruise post, which was far worse than the analingus and e-coli question on any intelligent and tasteful person's scale.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:04 PM on October 5, 2005
You know, you can discuss your disapproval of the delete without continuously being a douchebag about other people's posts, which sorta kinda undercuts your argument for leaving the baby Cruise post, which was far worse than the analingus and e-coli question on any intelligent and tasteful person's scale.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:04 PM on October 5, 2005
A long, fun thread with boats and animals
so, you're basically promising fitzcarraldo? cool!
posted by dorian at 7:12 PM on October 5, 2005
so, you're basically promising fitzcarraldo? cool!
posted by dorian at 7:12 PM on October 5, 2005
The more people object against gossipy threads, the more you know they really like them.
posted by Quartermass at 7:29 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by Quartermass at 7:29 PM on October 5, 2005
If you want to post any damn thing and just joke around with fellow MeFites, go to Metachat. Good people, snappy site design, and bunnies!
posted by LarryC at 9:22 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by LarryC at 9:22 PM on October 5, 2005
y'know, there is the ability on the interweb to scroll past something. it's like riding a bike, you can take any route you choose. neat huh?
seriously though, this is a hysterical thread
posted by moonbird at 9:56 PM on October 5, 2005
seriously though, this is a hysterical thread
posted by moonbird at 9:56 PM on October 5, 2005
I enjoyed both the Furtwangler and the Wangfettling topics.
posted by Triode at 10:03 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by Triode at 10:03 PM on October 5, 2005
"I don't know, you naughty boy, I've never wangfettled."
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:18 PM on October 5, 2005
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:18 PM on October 5, 2005
Ooh! I love it! It'll be just like the discussion periods on coffee talk!
posted by shmegegge at 1:23 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by shmegegge at 1:23 AM on October 6, 2005
Scarabric I'll see your unicorn and raise you a fursecution.jpg
After this image I was never able to read that Ghandi quote - no matter how important the cause - without breaking into wild, scornful laughter.
posted by Ryvar at 5:12 AM on October 6, 2005
After this image I was never able to read that Ghandi quote - no matter how important the cause - without breaking into wild, scornful laughter.
posted by Ryvar at 5:12 AM on October 6, 2005
and chicks! and guns! and fire engines!
posted by jonmc at 6:45 PM PST on October 5 [!]
*shit!* *Shit!* *SHIT!*
posted by sic at 5:18 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by jonmc at 6:45 PM PST on October 5 [!]
*shit!* *Shit!* *SHIT!*
posted by sic at 5:18 AM on October 6, 2005
err, meet. meat to. also.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:03 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:03 AM on October 6, 2005
If I Had An Anus: you laugh, I had a friend who did that to her iBook with pink fur.
posted by Ryvar at 6:28 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by Ryvar at 6:28 AM on October 6, 2005
I had a friend who did that to her iBook with pink fur.
What, tittyfuck?
Ahem. Oh orificeless one, why soil the good name of 9622v2 (and the principles for which it so firmly stands) by referencing it in a thread about gossipy threads? Is that all we do? Gossip?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:43 AM on October 6, 2005
What, tittyfuck?
Ahem. Oh orificeless one, why soil the good name of 9622v2 (and the principles for which it so firmly stands) by referencing it in a thread about gossipy threads? Is that all we do? Gossip?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:43 AM on October 6, 2005
gnifty, you seem to have forgotten your tumultuous yet short-lived engagement to Cranberry.
Ryvar, I never laugh at furry things. I laugh with them. Later, I put down the nitrous for awhile.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:00 AM on October 6, 2005
Ryvar, I never laugh at furry things. I laugh with them. Later, I put down the nitrous for awhile.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:00 AM on October 6, 2005
Seconded. When I look at FPPs which seem to best fit the MeFi purist's protocol template they're frequently ho-hum at best, and the comments within tend to bear that out. They're likely to have a fairly narrow appeal to a relatively small subset of people and there will be a greater-than-average number of replies of the "Great post! Thanks!" type.
Yawn city.
The gossipy threads get lively and passionate and funny and rude and witty and are, in general, a monumental bag of laughs. Certainly in comparison with posts of the
"It's Scarlatti's birthday today so let's celebrate by linking a variety of cool sites about the great man and his nimble-fingered plinkery, shall we? *smirk, I am so eclectic and refined in my tastes*"
type.
I draw the line at furry pictures, mind. I do not wish to imagine titty-fucking a man in a furry suit, thanks.
posted by Decani at 7:20 AM on October 6, 2005
Yawn city.
The gossipy threads get lively and passionate and funny and rude and witty and are, in general, a monumental bag of laughs. Certainly in comparison with posts of the
"It's Scarlatti's birthday today so let's celebrate by linking a variety of cool sites about the great man and his nimble-fingered plinkery, shall we? *smirk, I am so eclectic and refined in my tastes*"
type.
I draw the line at furry pictures, mind. I do not wish to imagine titty-fucking a man in a furry suit, thanks.
posted by Decani at 7:20 AM on October 6, 2005
matteo : "worse? I dunno. more embarrassing, certainly"
I wasn't aware "avoiding embarrassment" was such a big goal of Metafilter.
And that was beautiful, Ryvar.
posted by Bugbread at 7:41 AM on October 6, 2005
I wasn't aware "avoiding embarrassment" was such a big goal of Metafilter.
And that was beautiful, Ryvar.
posted by Bugbread at 7:41 AM on October 6, 2005
Decani : "They're likely to have a fairly narrow appeal to a relatively small subset of people and there will be a greater-than-average number of replies of the 'Great post! Thanks!' type.
"Yawn city."
That's generally (not always, of course) because people are busy reading through the link, working through the site, and generally enjoying the destination instead of bouncing back to the blue for a quick ruckus.
Kinda like everybody hanging out in the lobby at a concert: that doesn't mean it's a good concert, it means the music inside is OK, but not interesting enough to engage folks. A post full of "This is good" is a sign that people like the music and they're all too busy listening to the band to hang out in the lobby and shoot the shit. Sure, it's yawn city if you go to concerts in order to hang out in the lobby, but if you go to concerts to listen to music, and chatting in the lobby is a secondary issue, then an empty lobby is far from an indicator of "yawn city".
posted by Bugbread at 7:47 AM on October 6, 2005
"Yawn city."
That's generally (not always, of course) because people are busy reading through the link, working through the site, and generally enjoying the destination instead of bouncing back to the blue for a quick ruckus.
Kinda like everybody hanging out in the lobby at a concert: that doesn't mean it's a good concert, it means the music inside is OK, but not interesting enough to engage folks. A post full of "This is good" is a sign that people like the music and they're all too busy listening to the band to hang out in the lobby and shoot the shit. Sure, it's yawn city if you go to concerts in order to hang out in the lobby, but if you go to concerts to listen to music, and chatting in the lobby is a secondary issue, then an empty lobby is far from an indicator of "yawn city".
posted by Bugbread at 7:47 AM on October 6, 2005
That's generally (not always, of course) because people are busy reading through the link, working through the site, and generally enjoying the destination instead of bouncing back to the blue for a quick ruckus.
Well, I'm sure it please you to believe that guess as much as it please me to believe mine. :-)
posted by Decani at 7:52 AM on October 6, 2005
Well, I'm sure it please you to believe that guess as much as it please me to believe mine. :-)
posted by Decani at 7:52 AM on October 6, 2005
I wasn't aware "avoiding embarrassment" was such a big goal of Metafilter
your posting history shows that, yes
;)
posted by matteo at 7:53 AM on October 6, 2005
your posting history shows that, yes
;)
posted by matteo at 7:53 AM on October 6, 2005
matteo : "your posting history shows that, yes"
I suppose it would. If I thought avoiding embarrassment was such a big issue, I would've focussed a lot more on avoiding embarrassment.
I somehow feel that your response was supposed to be some kind of zing at me, but I don't quite get it.
posted by Bugbread at 7:55 AM on October 6, 2005
I suppose it would. If I thought avoiding embarrassment was such a big issue, I would've focussed a lot more on avoiding embarrassment.
I somehow feel that your response was supposed to be some kind of zing at me, but I don't quite get it.
posted by Bugbread at 7:55 AM on October 6, 2005
Oh orificeless one, why soil the good name of 9622v2 (and the principles for which it so firmly stands) by referencing it in a thread about gossipy threads? Is that all we do? Gossip? - gnfti
We do not gossip. We are those that are gossiped about. A real-life soap opera with near-drownings, threats of cancellation, engagments, broken hearts, kermit-beatings and other melodrama.
Soap opera, certainly. Gossips? Certainly not.
posted by raedyn at 8:09 AM on October 6, 2005
We do not gossip. We are those that are gossiped about. A real-life soap opera with near-drownings, threats of cancellation, engagments, broken hearts, kermit-beatings and other melodrama.
Soap opera, certainly. Gossips? Certainly not.
posted by raedyn at 8:09 AM on October 6, 2005
bugbread - I like your concert analogy. Very fitting, I think.
posted by raedyn at 8:11 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by raedyn at 8:11 AM on October 6, 2005
Oh yes, the engagement! Wasn't that last year's season finale? I can't wait to find out who shot Nice Donkey.
Back to the subject of gossip: I heard If I Had An Anus has no, you know, *out hole*.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:18 AM on October 6, 2005
Back to the subject of gossip: I heard If I Had An Anus has no, you know, *out hole*.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:18 AM on October 6, 2005
(He also finds secret pleasure in destroying people's playgrounds).
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:24 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:24 AM on October 6, 2005
Naxos - you mean your Goatse t-shirt? I'd suggest eBay.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:25 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:25 AM on October 6, 2005
five things you can do to make naxosaxur happy:
1. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
2. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
3. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
4. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
5. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
thank you,
-naxosaxur
posted by naxosaxur at 8:32 AM on October 6, 2005
1. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
2. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
3. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
4. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
5. stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
thank you,
-naxosaxur
posted by naxosaxur at 8:32 AM on October 6, 2005
Asslicking is a sure shot way to get an STD in your bios.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:40 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:40 AM on October 6, 2005
MetitFucker: Where you'll come across the breast of the web.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:48 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:48 AM on October 6, 2005
computer STDS are more common then youd believe
and are highly contagious from the bios to humans so youd better wear some gloves or use a pencil or something tia
posted by naxosaxur at 8:58 AM on October 6, 2005
and are highly contagious from the bios to humans so youd better wear some gloves or use a pencil or something tia
posted by naxosaxur at 8:58 AM on October 6, 2005
stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
Um, why? It's not as though they were particularly salacious. I daresay they were fairly clinical, even. Do they offend your sensibilities? Because thousands of people use this site; You don't have much control (or the right to dictate, either) over so many users.
posted by veronica sawyer at 9:26 AM on October 6, 2005
Um, why? It's not as though they were particularly salacious. I daresay they were fairly clinical, even. Do they offend your sensibilities? Because thousands of people use this site; You don't have much control (or the right to dictate, either) over so many users.
posted by veronica sawyer at 9:26 AM on October 6, 2005
Can I Just Say No to all of the above?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:36 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:36 AM on October 6, 2005
She said: “How do I tittyfuck my boyfriend?”
He said: “How can I perform asslicking?”
Jeeves answered: “I think you may have misspelled something.”
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:40 AM on October 6, 2005
He said: “How can I perform asslicking?”
Jeeves answered: “I think you may have misspelled something.”
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:40 AM on October 6, 2005
MeFites are such cunning linguists.
posted by Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather at 10:07 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather at 10:07 AM on October 6, 2005
You took the... words... right out of my mouth.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:10 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:10 AM on October 6, 2005
MetitFucker: Where you'll come across the breast of the web.
The concept has merit but MetaTittyFucker is a far more euphonious neologism.
posted by y2karl at 10:46 AM on October 6, 2005
The concept has merit but MetaTittyFucker is a far more euphonious neologism.
posted by y2karl at 10:46 AM on October 6, 2005
Indeed!
posted by Metaphonious at 10:51 AM on October 6, 2005
posted by Metaphonious at 10:51 AM on October 6, 2005
It's not as though they were particularly salacious. I daresay they were fairly clinical, even.
exactly. if you really have to ask a sex question, at least make it interesting/salacious/funny/hot, whatever. like, "dear AskMe, I really want to fuck a frozen, dead penguin: how should I thaw it? what kind of lube should I use? should I wash it in warm or cold water after use?".
I mean, "Sex101 For Dummies" is very, very lame. especially since we're not exactly teenagers anymore. the Revenge of the Nerds was a funny movie, but it doesn't make a very interesting website
posted by matteo at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2005
exactly. if you really have to ask a sex question, at least make it interesting/salacious/funny/hot, whatever. like, "dear AskMe, I really want to fuck a frozen, dead penguin: how should I thaw it? what kind of lube should I use? should I wash it in warm or cold water after use?".
I mean, "Sex101 For Dummies" is very, very lame. especially since we're not exactly teenagers anymore. the Revenge of the Nerds was a funny movie, but it doesn't make a very interesting website
posted by matteo at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2005
Refrigerator. Eulachon grease. Tepid.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:50 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:50 PM on October 6, 2005
It's no longer frozen if you thaw it, silly goosefucker.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:52 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:52 PM on October 6, 2005
I know, but it feels pretty funny. I may have done something wrong in the dethawing process.
and by the way, here's a very valuable answer for an interesting AskMefi question:
What happens if your valuable stud dog goes sterile or even suddenly dies – maybe much too soon?
posted by matteo at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2005
and by the way, here's a very valuable answer for an interesting AskMefi question:
What happens if your valuable stud dog goes sterile or even suddenly dies – maybe much too soon?
posted by matteo at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2005
I mean, "Sex101 For Dummies" is very, very lame.
Well, perhaps they teach about rimjobs in Italian primary schools, but it's still a bit exotic in some parts of the US. Besides, the question-asker wanted to know about e-coli.
I called 311 just now, to see if they could give me a definitive answer to the e-coli question, but they had me on hold for an hour and 15 minutes so I hung up. Maybe the anonymous question-asker tried the same thing and chose to come here?
posted by veronica sawyer at 1:09 PM on October 6, 2005
Well, perhaps they teach about rimjobs in Italian primary schools, but it's still a bit exotic in some parts of the US. Besides, the question-asker wanted to know about e-coli.
I called 311 just now, to see if they could give me a definitive answer to the e-coli question, but they had me on hold for an hour and 15 minutes so I hung up. Maybe the anonymous question-asker tried the same thing and chose to come here?
posted by veronica sawyer at 1:09 PM on October 6, 2005
what about the titfuck question, then. the poster dialed 311, too?
posted by matteo at 1:13 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by matteo at 1:13 PM on October 6, 2005
and no, they don't teach it in school here. we practice after school, like homework
posted by matteo at 1:14 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by matteo at 1:14 PM on October 6, 2005
People here bandy about the term "ass licking Ask Metafilter thread" as though there really was such a thing. I know all about the titfucking one, but this, surely, is just an exaggeration? Was it posted by anonymous, who responded to it? I need to know these things for my files...
posted by jonson at 1:18 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by jonson at 1:18 PM on October 6, 2005
veronica sawyer you are surely going to hell for commiting analingus but maybe first the hospital for e-coli. and ass-harpies. also ass-crabs. maybe also ass-manuel-antonio-gonorrhea-noriega-moreno.
posted by naxosaxur at 1:30 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by naxosaxur at 1:30 PM on October 6, 2005
Y2Karl: I disagree. I find MeTittyfucking much more pleasing than your construction.
posted by klangklangston at 2:10 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by klangklangston at 2:10 PM on October 6, 2005
especially since we're not exactly teenagers anymore. - matteo
Depends what you mean by "we". Certainly many - maybe most - MeFites are aged 20+. But not all. I've read AskMe's from people still in high school. I think you're jumping to conslusions to assume what age anyone is.
posted by raedyn at 2:58 PM on October 6, 2005
Depends what you mean by "we". Certainly many - maybe most - MeFites are aged 20+. But not all. I've read AskMe's from people still in high school. I think you're jumping to conslusions to assume what age anyone is.
posted by raedyn at 2:58 PM on October 6, 2005
I lived in constant fear of my stud dog suddenly going sterile... well, NO MORE!
posted by Krrrlson at 5:18 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by Krrrlson at 5:18 PM on October 6, 2005
see? AskMefi always helps you out!
(who's masturbating the dog to get the sample anyway? what kind of a job is that for chrissakes?)
posted by matteo at 5:41 PM on October 6, 2005
(who's masturbating the dog to get the sample anyway? what kind of a job is that for chrissakes?)
posted by matteo at 5:41 PM on October 6, 2005
Metafilter: "Who's mas..."
aw... fuck it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:02 PM on October 6, 2005
aw... fuck it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:02 PM on October 6, 2005
Was naxosaxur's account hacked, or is she on some kind of monosyllabic spree?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:05 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:05 PM on October 6, 2005
stop posting titfucking and asslicking threads on askme
Can we post assfucking and titlicking threads, then?
posted by Decani at 6:35 PM on October 6, 2005
Can we post assfucking and titlicking threads, then?
posted by Decani at 6:35 PM on October 6, 2005
NICK AND JESSICA: NOT OVER
- Nick: I'll even tittyfuck her tonight, if I can figure out how.
posted by mr.marx at 6:48 PM on October 6, 2005
- Nick: I'll even tittyfuck her tonight, if I can figure out how.
posted by mr.marx at 6:48 PM on October 6, 2005
can I replace that?
NICK AND JESS
almost split over
TITTYFUCK
WEBSITE
saved marriage
posted by mr.marx at 7:04 PM on October 6, 2005
NICK AND JESS
almost split over
TITTYFUCK
WEBSITE
saved marriage
posted by mr.marx at 7:04 PM on October 6, 2005
the occasional gossipy post won't kill the site. maybe we should grow a sense of humor, myself included.
As LarryC said, you sir need to get your ass down to MetaChat. It's like what Metafilter would turn into if it was locked up in a room for like a year without contact with the outside world. Oooh, plus it has bunny-brained zombies!
posted by Popular Ethics at 7:21 PM on October 6, 2005
As LarryC said, you sir need to get your ass down to MetaChat. It's like what Metafilter would turn into if it was locked up in a room for like a year without contact with the outside world. Oooh, plus it has bunny-brained zombies!
posted by Popular Ethics at 7:21 PM on October 6, 2005
Popular Ethics has posted 1 link
Comedy Returns to Video Games?posted by matteo at 8:09 PM on October 6, 2005
I've been searching for a funny computer game to give my father for christmas, after last years gift of Grim Fandango went over brilliantly. Unfortunately, it seems that in games as in any media dying is easy, comedy is hard.
With the upcoming release of their first game, Psychonauts, Double Fine productions, hopes to resurrect the art. How do I know it's going to be hilarious? The company is headed up by headed up by Tim Schafer of Grim Fandango, Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle fame. Oh, and they're all utterly insane
And lest anyone accuse me of corporate shilling, check out the scummVM and FreeSCI projects which allow you to play classic LucasArts and Sierra comedy adventures on your linux, mac or palm computers. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
posted by Popular Ethics at 3:10 AM CET
Dude, matteo shakes his ass at MetaChat all the time (though I don't know what your FPP history has to do with anything).
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:16 PM on October 6, 2005
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:16 PM on October 6, 2005
Qué? It wasn't an insult man, I just thought you'd like MeCha.
As for my posting history, I'm working on it, I'm working on it. You're right though, the quality bar is high enough that its inhibited me from making more FPPs. That's just not such a bad thing IMO.
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:00 PM on October 6, 2005
As for my posting history, I'm working on it, I'm working on it. You're right though, the quality bar is high enough that its inhibited me from making more FPPs. That's just not such a bad thing IMO.
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:00 PM on October 6, 2005
Monsanto Chief Financial Officer Says Recent Success Sets The Stage For Growth In 2006-2007
Monsanto Confirms Fiscal Year 2005 Earnings Per Share Guidance; Updates Fiscal Year 2005 Free Cash Flow Guidance
SAN FRANCISCO (Sept. 21, 2005) - In a presentation today, Monsanto Company's (NYSE: MON) Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer Terry Crews will outline paths for continued growth of Monsanto's strategy. Crews' presentation will be part of the 35th Annual Investment Conference sponsored by Banc of America Securities.
Crews will note that the company's discipline over the last two years has resulted in an established seeds and traits platform for fiscal year 2005, and has reinforced its ability to grow in the years ahead.
"Our strategic evolution has established Monsanto as the leading innovator in agricultural seeds and technology," says Crews. "The financial discipline we have exercised has also allowed us to establish a solid foundation which is poised for growth in the years ahead."
Crews believes Monsanto's growth will come from two key areas: the accelerated growth of the company's core business primarily driven by its corn seeds and traits business, and through the recent acquisitions of the Seminis vegetable seed and Emergent cotton seed businesses.
Fiscal Year 2005 Guidance
Crews will also confirm earnings per share (EPS) guidance for fiscal year 2005 in range of $0.82 to $0.87 on a reported basis, and $2.00 to $2.05 on an ongoing basis.
Additionally, Monsanto now expects that free cash flow will roughly break even for fiscal year 2005, compared with the previous estimate in the range of negative $400 million. Crews said the improvement in free cash flow was driven primarily by improvements in working capital compared with the previous estimate. Monsanto expects net cash provided by operations to be approximately $1.7 billion, net cash required by investing activities to be approximately $(1.7 billion), and net cash required by financing activities to be approximately $(550) million, resulting in a net decrease in cash and cash equivalents of approximately $(550) million.
Crews' presentation slides and a simultaneous audio webcast of the presentation will be available through Banc of America's conference web site today. To access the webcast of this presentation, go to: http://www.veracast.com/webcasts/bas/35th-annual-2005/id42307551.cfm.
Following today's live broadcast, scheduled for 10:30 a.m. PDT (1:30 EDT), a replay of the webcast will be available for two weeks through this same link. Crews' presentation slides will also be archived at the Investor Relations section of Monsanto's website at www.monsanto.com.
Monsanto will report its complete financial results for the fourth quarter and fiscal year 2005 on Wednesday, October 12.
Monsanto Company is a leading global provider of technology-based solutions and agricultural products that improve farm productivity and food quality. For more information on Monsanto, see: http://www.monsanto.com
Cautionary Statements Regarding Forward-Looking Information:
Certain statements contained in this release are "forward-looking statements," such as statements concerning the company's anticipated financial results, current and future product performance, regulatory approvals, business and financial plans and other non-historical facts. These statements are based on current expectations and currently available information. However, since these statements are based on factors that involve risks and uncertainties, the company's actual performance and results may differ materially from those described or implied by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause or contribute to such differences include, among others: the company's exposure to various contingencies, including those related to Solutia Inc., litigation, intellectual property, regulatory compliance (including seed quality), environmental contamination and antitrust; successful completion and operation of recent and proposed acquisitions; fluctuations in exchange rates and other developments related to foreign currencies and economies; increased generic and branded competition for the company's Roundup® agricultural herbicides; the accuracy of the company's estimates and projections, for example, those with respect to product returns and grower use of the company's products and related distribution inventory levels; the effect of weather conditions and commodity markets on the agriculture business; the success of the company's research and development activities and the speed with which regulatory authorizations and product launches may be achieved; domestic and foreign social, legal and political developments, especially those relating to agricultural products developed through biotechnology; the company's ability to successfully market new and existing products in new and existing domestic and international markets; the company's ability to obtain payment for the products that it sells; the company's ability to achieve and maintain protection for its intellectual property; the company's ability to fund its short-term financing needs; and other risks and factors detailed in the company's filings with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Undue reliance should not be placed on these forward-looking statements, which are current only as of the date of this release. The company disclaims any current intention or obligation to revise or update any forward-looking statements or any of the factors that may affect actual results, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
RECONCILIATIONS OF NON-GAAP FINANCIAL MEASURES
The presentations of ongoing earnings per share (EPS) and free cash flow are not intended to replace net income (loss), cash flows, financial position or comprehensive income (loss), and they are not measures of financial performance as determined in accordance with generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP) in the United States. The following tables reconcile ongoing EPS and free cash flow to the respective most directly comparable financial measure calculated in accordance with GAAP.
Reconciliation of EPS to Ongoing EPS: Ongoing EPS is calculated excluding certain after-tax items which Monsanto does not consider part of ongoing operations.
Total Monsanto Company and Subsidiaries:
Fiscal Year 2005 Target
Diluted Earnings Per Share $0.82 - $0.87
In-Process R&D Write-Off Related to the
Seminis and Emergent Acquisitions 0.91
Solutia-Related Charge 0.66
Tax Benefit on Loss from European Wheat and Barley Business (0.39)
Restructuring Charges - Net 0.03
Income on Discontinued Operations and Related Restructuring (0.03)
Diluted Earnings per Share from Ongoing Business $2.00 - $2.05
Reconciliation of Free Cash Flow: Free cash flow represents the total of cash flows from operations and investing activities.
Total Monsanto Company and Subsidiaries:
Fiscal Year 2005 Target (in millions
Net Cash Provided by Operations $1,700
Net Cash Required by Investing Activities $(1,700)
Free Cash Flow --
Net Cash Required by Financing Activities $(550)
Net Decrease in Cash and Cash Equivalents $(550)
posted by Jamie Farr at 1:16 AM on October 7, 2005
Monsanto Confirms Fiscal Year 2005 Earnings Per Share Guidance; Updates Fiscal Year 2005 Free Cash Flow Guidance
SAN FRANCISCO (Sept. 21, 2005) - In a presentation today, Monsanto Company's (NYSE: MON) Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer Terry Crews will outline paths for continued growth of Monsanto's strategy. Crews' presentation will be part of the 35th Annual Investment Conference sponsored by Banc of America Securities.
Crews will note that the company's discipline over the last two years has resulted in an established seeds and traits platform for fiscal year 2005, and has reinforced its ability to grow in the years ahead.
"Our strategic evolution has established Monsanto as the leading innovator in agricultural seeds and technology," says Crews. "The financial discipline we have exercised has also allowed us to establish a solid foundation which is poised for growth in the years ahead."
Crews believes Monsanto's growth will come from two key areas: the accelerated growth of the company's core business primarily driven by its corn seeds and traits business, and through the recent acquisitions of the Seminis vegetable seed and Emergent cotton seed businesses.
Fiscal Year 2005 Guidance
Crews will also confirm earnings per share (EPS) guidance for fiscal year 2005 in range of $0.82 to $0.87 on a reported basis, and $2.00 to $2.05 on an ongoing basis.
Additionally, Monsanto now expects that free cash flow will roughly break even for fiscal year 2005, compared with the previous estimate in the range of negative $400 million. Crews said the improvement in free cash flow was driven primarily by improvements in working capital compared with the previous estimate. Monsanto expects net cash provided by operations to be approximately $1.7 billion, net cash required by investing activities to be approximately $(1.7 billion), and net cash required by financing activities to be approximately $(550) million, resulting in a net decrease in cash and cash equivalents of approximately $(550) million.
Crews' presentation slides and a simultaneous audio webcast of the presentation will be available through Banc of America's conference web site today. To access the webcast of this presentation, go to: http://www.veracast.com/webcasts/bas/35th-annual-2005/id42307551.cfm.
Following today's live broadcast, scheduled for 10:30 a.m. PDT (1:30 EDT), a replay of the webcast will be available for two weeks through this same link. Crews' presentation slides will also be archived at the Investor Relations section of Monsanto's website at www.monsanto.com.
Monsanto will report its complete financial results for the fourth quarter and fiscal year 2005 on Wednesday, October 12.
Monsanto Company is a leading global provider of technology-based solutions and agricultural products that improve farm productivity and food quality. For more information on Monsanto, see: http://www.monsanto.com
Cautionary Statements Regarding Forward-Looking Information:
Certain statements contained in this release are "forward-looking statements," such as statements concerning the company's anticipated financial results, current and future product performance, regulatory approvals, business and financial plans and other non-historical facts. These statements are based on current expectations and currently available information. However, since these statements are based on factors that involve risks and uncertainties, the company's actual performance and results may differ materially from those described or implied by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause or contribute to such differences include, among others: the company's exposure to various contingencies, including those related to Solutia Inc., litigation, intellectual property, regulatory compliance (including seed quality), environmental contamination and antitrust; successful completion and operation of recent and proposed acquisitions; fluctuations in exchange rates and other developments related to foreign currencies and economies; increased generic and branded competition for the company's Roundup® agricultural herbicides; the accuracy of the company's estimates and projections, for example, those with respect to product returns and grower use of the company's products and related distribution inventory levels; the effect of weather conditions and commodity markets on the agriculture business; the success of the company's research and development activities and the speed with which regulatory authorizations and product launches may be achieved; domestic and foreign social, legal and political developments, especially those relating to agricultural products developed through biotechnology; the company's ability to successfully market new and existing products in new and existing domestic and international markets; the company's ability to obtain payment for the products that it sells; the company's ability to achieve and maintain protection for its intellectual property; the company's ability to fund its short-term financing needs; and other risks and factors detailed in the company's filings with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Undue reliance should not be placed on these forward-looking statements, which are current only as of the date of this release. The company disclaims any current intention or obligation to revise or update any forward-looking statements or any of the factors that may affect actual results, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
RECONCILIATIONS OF NON-GAAP FINANCIAL MEASURES
The presentations of ongoing earnings per share (EPS) and free cash flow are not intended to replace net income (loss), cash flows, financial position or comprehensive income (loss), and they are not measures of financial performance as determined in accordance with generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP) in the United States. The following tables reconcile ongoing EPS and free cash flow to the respective most directly comparable financial measure calculated in accordance with GAAP.
Reconciliation of EPS to Ongoing EPS: Ongoing EPS is calculated excluding certain after-tax items which Monsanto does not consider part of ongoing operations.
Total Monsanto Company and Subsidiaries:
Fiscal Year 2005 Target
Diluted Earnings Per Share $0.82 - $0.87
In-Process R&D Write-Off Related to the
Seminis and Emergent Acquisitions 0.91
Solutia-Related Charge 0.66
Tax Benefit on Loss from European Wheat and Barley Business (0.39)
Restructuring Charges - Net 0.03
Income on Discontinued Operations and Related Restructuring (0.03)
Diluted Earnings per Share from Ongoing Business $2.00 - $2.05
Reconciliation of Free Cash Flow: Free cash flow represents the total of cash flows from operations and investing activities.
Total Monsanto Company and Subsidiaries:
Fiscal Year 2005 Target (in millions
Net Cash Provided by Operations $1,700
Net Cash Required by Investing Activities $(1,700)
Free Cash Flow --
Net Cash Required by Financing Activities $(550)
Net Decrease in Cash and Cash Equivalents $(550)
posted by Jamie Farr at 1:16 AM on October 7, 2005
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the occasional gossipy post won't kill the site. maybe we should grow a sense of humor, myself included.
these posts certainly make us look less bad than the "how do I tittyfuck my boyfriend" askmefi posts, the "omigod I'm 42 and I'm a virgin tell me how to fuck this girl I met" askmefi posts, the asslicking askmefi posts, the "do I have to wear that condom before, after, or during sex" askmefi posts.
and yeah, I read every day Le Monde and perezhilton.com. I usually find perezhilton more interesting
posted by matteo at 5:30 PM on October 5, 2005