AskMe Shoutout October 14, 2005 1:50 PM   Subscribe

Dear Matt, thank you so much for Ask Metafilter.
posted by Nelson to Etiquette/Policy at 1:50 PM (37 comments total)

Your point being?
posted by Plutor at 1:57 PM on October 14, 2005


I think Nelson wants my five dollars back.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:58 PM on October 14, 2005


If the answer is "this question is so stupid that it made me stupider just trying to comprehend the circumstances that led to the poster thinking 'I should post this on AskMe'", then I will point you to this awesome gem.
posted by Plutor at 2:00 PM on October 14, 2005


cmonkey rules.
posted by cortex at 2:01 PM on October 14, 2005


Your point being?

The joy of recursive anal meta-analysis.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:08 PM on October 14, 2005


Oh, wait, are you suggesting Nelson is being sarcastic?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:10 PM on October 14, 2005


The joy of recursive anal meta-analysis.

You can't be anal if you don't, as your handle implies, have an anus.
posted by Plutor at 2:11 PM on October 14, 2005


Holy crap. That post cannot be true. Ten bucks says Nelson is Todd Solondz researching a new script.
posted by xmutex at 2:12 PM on October 14, 2005


You are incorrect, sir. I am the ultimate in retentive.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:12 PM on October 14, 2005


Oh, wait, are you suggesting Nelson is being sarcastic?

Yes, I was. Now that you've pointed it out, maybe I'm not so sure. In which case I agree.
posted by Plutor at 2:12 PM on October 14, 2005


Finally!
posted by naxosaxur at 2:20 PM on October 14, 2005


I think it's fairly obvious that Mary is omitting something and fabricating lots.

But you're not really allowed to question the situation in Ask Metafilter. It's bad form-- like pointing out that someone made a wild guess and presented it as authority.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:21 PM on October 14, 2005


I read a short story once about a guy who cooked microwave dinner and put on a porn by way of "entertaining" his date. It had something to do with how he had no fucking clue what to do on a date or what women like, and, naturally, that his own standards and life were completely fucked up and gross.

What should you make of his intentions? I'm sorry. The correct answer is: "Who gives a shit? Run."
posted by scarabic at 2:32 PM on October 14, 2005


I'm being completely sincere - That's the second greatest Ask Metafilter post in history.

Although it pales in comparison to my favorite.
posted by SweetJesus at 2:34 PM on October 14, 2005


Well duh! Everyone knows you don't whip out the anal vids 'til the second date.
posted by nthdegx at 2:45 PM on October 14, 2005


butts lmao
posted by keswick at 2:49 PM on October 14, 2005


I think it's fairly obvious that Mary is omitting something and fabricating lots.

But you're not really allowed to question the situation in Ask Metafilter. It's bad form-- like pointing out that someone made a wild guess and presented it as authority.

posted by Mayor Curley at 2:21 PM PST

To the best of my knowledge this event happened exactly the way I told it.

My husband Dave and Mary work the graveyard shift together which leads to a lot of down time and a lot of intimacy. He says he is sure she wasn't lying, that he would be able to tell. I get the impression that she has dated many, many bad/weird men which is how she ended up being 39 and unmarried. I firmly believe that her dating sense is seriously impaired.

Oh, and for the record, Tom was married and is now divorced.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:29 PM on October 14, 2005


"I think it's fairly obvious that Mary is omitting something and fabricating lots" in italics, with my bad eyes, reads as "I think it's fairly obvious that Mary is emitting something and lubricating lots", which would actually make more sense in the context of the thread in question.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:35 PM on October 14, 2005


My favorite, of course, is # 7921.
posted by odinsdream at 5:19 PM on October 14, 2005


This *is* what AskMe is for: not primarily, perhaps, but it serves its purpose very well here. Delicate subject? Yes. Unnecessary callout? I would say yes.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:12 PM on October 14, 2005


My favorite, of course, is # 7921.

Pah! 7028, all the way.
posted by flashboy at 6:16 PM on October 14, 2005


Paging Quentin Tarantino...
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:22 PM on October 14, 2005


I firmly believe that her dating sense is seriously impaired.

I support your-- erm... firmness.
posted by scarabic at 7:26 PM on October 14, 2005


What's wrong with anal sex videos if the co-starring goat signs a release form?
posted by davy at 7:47 PM on October 14, 2005


AxMe.
posted by davy at 8:20 PM on October 14, 2005


<img src='http://static.flickr.com/30/52579066_61bdc26dbf_m.jpg' alt="grillin' w/anal"
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:45 PM on October 14, 2005


the titty-fucking thread is my favorite, but i don't feel like finding it and linking it.
posted by shmegegge at 8:51 PM on October 14, 2005


Genius.

Note to self...buy some anal porn before you invite the ladies over.
posted by graventy at 8:52 PM on October 14, 2005


Yay. Somebody deleted my snark.
posted by jimfl at 8:54 PM on October 14, 2005


The post was obviously made by a sniggering troll who wanted to say "anal sex porn" ever so much. But so what?
posted by Decani at 9:38 PM on October 14, 2005


Good lord, we're a cynical bunch at Metatalk. It never occurred to me that when I wrote "thank you, Matt" that people would think I was really saying "screw you Matt, I hate your web site". Then again, y'all couldn't know it was midnight I'd just finished a bottle of wine and a glass of kirsch and I was laughing hysterically at that wonderful AxMe thread.

Good things happen on MeFi a lot.
posted by Nelson at 10:58 PM on October 14, 2005


No, Decani, Secret Life of Gravy is definitely not a troll.
posted by taz at 11:34 PM on October 14, 2005


I heard that somewhere in Asia they catch monkeys by hollowing out a coconut, leaving a hole (just big enough for a monkey to get his hand inside), baiting it with seeds or nuts, and chaining it to a tree. The monkey reaches in for the seeds, but can't withdraw a closed fist. The locals can then walk up and catch the monkey, who will not let go of the seeds to open his fist.
We had a plan to catch one of our co-workers like this once, using a fridge with a hole in it and a can of beer. Maybe the finger trap would have been easier.
posted by dg at 4:10 AM on October 15, 2005


The post was obviously made by a sniggering troll who wanted to say "anal sex porn" ever so much. But so what?

If you think someone is a troll, wouldn't it make sense to briefly check their posting history before you publicly accuse them? And more than that, do you at all pay attention to the other members of this site? SLoG has been around for a good long time, and has a solid reputation as a smart & respectful contributor. sheez.
posted by zarah at 8:17 AM on October 15, 2005


Troll? Even if the situation was completely invented for comedy, it wouldn't be a troll. Trolls try to piss people off, not make something up so that everyone can have a laugh.
posted by cmonkey at 9:16 AM on October 15, 2005


Thanks for the support, Taz and Zarah!

This turned out to be a wild ride. My initial reaction to the story was shock, horror and disgust but once I started reading the comments, I started laughing and I never really stopped.

There are so many funny comments over at AskMe, but my favorite is:

"Dave is positive Mary is not lying about the evening in any respect.
Tom wants to have sex with Mary and doesn't know how to express himself."

OK, this is starting to sound like a logic puzzle.

Dave has either sheepdogs or alpacas.
No one who has alpacas can have sex with Mary.
Tom is allergic to vicunas.
Fred has had threesomes with Tom...

posted by languagehat at 5:28 PM PST on October 14

There was a weird feeling of familiarity when I was writing up the details but I didn't understand why until Languagehat figured it out.

Thanks for all the great responses. Dave has promised that when he goes back to work Monday night, he will try to get more information from Mary.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:40 AM on October 15, 2005


Is this a callout thread or not? My sarcasm detector may be down.
posted by knave at 2:29 PM on October 15, 2005


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