Happy New Year!

January 1, 2006 12:40 AM

Now that all of North America and Europe (where apparently >99% of us are) have passed into 2006, what are MetaFilterer's predictions for upcoming events this year?

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!
posted by Kickstart70 to MetaFilter-Related at 12:40 AM (43 comments total)

Sorry to be a downer, but I'm predicting (at least) airstrikes by the US in Iran, and of course then a strengthening of the hard-line anti-US regime there, and a wilting of the more liberal elements.

I'm also predicting a further erosion of the NATO alliance due to the US's unilateral military actions. By the end of 2006, the US will stand alone, and Mexico will begin to parachute troops into the midwest - giving rise to a legendary resistance movement. Go Wolverines!
posted by Dag Maggot at 12:47 AM on January 1, 2006

(fires weapon into the air)
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:59 AM on January 1, 2006

(gets the hell away from mathowie and his 'weapon')
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:00 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict that some stuff will happen and then that one thing will occur. You know the one, it's that one with stuff and things that'll make you go, "Wow!"

Criswell predicts that I'm going to correct your punctuation and feel no regret about it: MetaFilterer's => MetaFilterers'
posted by gramschmidt at 1:14 AM on January 1, 2006

(Nitpick: this was posted 20 minutes before Alaska had joined the rest of North America in 2006. Everyone forgets Alaska.)
posted by rhapsodie at 1:15 AM on January 1, 2006

It's still 2005 in American Samoa... and thus, Dag Maggot's prediction is null and void, and everyone will just get along, instead.

Happy New Year, MeFi!
posted by taz at 1:19 AM on January 1, 2006

I'm predicting that New Zealand won't go to war with anybody. Except maybe Australia.

Actually, we might invade Belgium later in the year, to steal all of their beer.
posted by The Monkey at 2:39 AM on January 1, 2006

Don't mess with us Australians. Cronulla was just the beginning.
posted by sjvilla79 at 3:25 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict Metafilter will be bought by Yahoo!, renamed "Yahoo! StupidCrap", and Mathowie will retire to a tropical island where quiet, dark-skinned butlers can bring him martinis by the pool while he shoots the shit with Tom Wolfe and the guy who invented coloured bubbles.

I'm predicting that New Zealand won't go to war with anybody. Except maybe Australia.

Will they call a cease fire if we return Russel Crowe?
posted by Jimbob at 4:02 AM on January 1, 2006

(BTW, I declare 2006 the "International Year of Diazepam")
posted by Jimbob at 4:04 AM on January 1, 2006

I have it on good authority that Diazapam it will leave you dead.
posted by redsparkler at 4:09 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict that someone will post a comment to the effect that New-Year's resolution threads are a boring waste of bandwidth.

Others will post comments about flagging and moving on, or not reading it boo-hoo.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:13 AM on January 1, 2006

Oooh, someone's on the ball...

posted by Jimbob at 4:15 AM on January 1, 2006

I also predict that I will realize the I wrote "resolution" when I meant to write "prediction," thus totally destroying the miniscule humorous effect of my post. Then I will find some coffee.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:23 AM on January 1, 2006

I'm going to pull something completely out of my ass here, because I've heard no authority state it, but it seems logical enough:

Regardless of what happens with the US v. Iran*, I think it's pretty safe to assume that in late 2006 the US will pull out of Iraq due to domestic pressures, and the resulting power vaccum will cause the country to quickly collapse into a civil war. Syria will back the Sunnis, Iran will back the Shiites, and the outcome will be decided by Iran's preoccupation with the US at that time. Saudi Arabia will make at least a token effort to restrain its people from flocking there as well, and probably fail with possible complications in its relations with the US.

On tech, the release of Windows Vista is going to play havoc in the realm of DRM/Trusted Computing/etc. Supposedly older DVD drives, and all but the most recent monitors will experience significant limitations with it. The multiplicity of versions isn't going to help the situation much, either. Any guesses as to the final shape of things after all this upheaval are at this point shots in the dark, so there's nothing further to say here.

That's about everything that feels worth speculating on - and at this point speculation is all it is.

*I'm not yet convinced there will be an major offensive - not even airstrikes - as Karl Rove probably won't sign off on it with the Republicans so embattled. Ultimately the persistence of domestic pressure on the GOP will be the determining factor.
posted by Ryvar at 5:28 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict a few cult threads of historic proportion, blowing mushroom and 9622v2 out of the water.

OK, seriously, I have a gut feeling that something 'big' will happen between late August and early October which will have a serious effect on the 06 elections. The gov't may seek to delay the elections. That said, I am not a psychic and I've not even played one in community theatre. Best of luck & wishes!
posted by moonbird at 5:47 AM on January 1, 2006

This being a World Cup year there will be the usual tussle over the number or sawccer-related threads with some folks going to slightly too much effort to point out how little they care about the game. Which will mean nothing as #1 loves the footie so the rest of us can enjoy the fun. Brazil will probably win but England are a good bet and the Dutch may yet keep it together for an entire tournament.

I don't think much else is going on altho', on a personal note, if I'm still doing the same 'king job this time next year without an escape plan I'm not going to be a happy hare...
posted by i_cola at 6:14 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict an upsurge in the excellent use of " 'king" as an adjective.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:23 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict that my hangover will finally subside on or about the 5th of March.
posted by JeffK at 7:02 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict young people will begin to refer to anything cool as being the "shitty titty."
posted by maxsparber at 7:41 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict flamewars, fark posts, and multiple nitpicky complaints to Matt, and lots of good stuff to drown it all out.
posted by caddis at 8:07 AM on January 1, 2006

Americans will continue to become fatter and more apathetic whilst consuming more of the world's non-renewable resources.

I'd type more but I really don't care, and the wife's waiting in the SUV to go to McDonald's for breakfast.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:10 AM on January 1, 2006

Postroad will change his name to Double Postroad.
posted by y2karl at 8:27 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict that gullible 30-somethings will start using completely fabricated catchphrases like "shitty titty" in an attempt to stay, you know, "rad".

Also, impeach Bush and stuff.
posted by 40 Watt at 8:28 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict that true peace and a genuine, flourishing democracy will be achieved in Iraq before August.

Damn, that was some great acid I dropped last night.
posted by Decani at 8:55 AM on January 1, 2006

I'm predicting that whole 'Impeach Bush' thing too.
And that there will be a Conservative minority government in Canada.
And Iraq will be a complete clusterfuck still because of the craptoads in the White House.
And that the housing crash will start, although it'll be more like letting go an air-filled balloon, but slower.
And I'm going to have a healthy baby girl in June (gods, I hope healthy; I am not concerned about the gender, but a girl would be great)
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:23 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict jimbob wil learn about the date function in cold fusion.
posted by Mick at 9:41 AM on January 1, 2006

I predict way more MeFi offspring, since it's already been a growing trend. (mazel tov, Kickstart!)

I predict that we'll have about 50k members by the end of 2006.

I predict that we'll have a new couple (or bunch of couples) as enduring as Rothko and dios. ; >

I predict that this will continue to be a great place, and never ever boring.

And i'm with moonbird, but think it won't happen til 08, and they'll be the ones making it happen.
posted by amberglow at 11:03 AM on January 1, 2006

Oh yeah: censure if not impeachment, and way way more GOP indictments in 06. Also, Lieberman will join the administration in some job--Rummy's?
posted by amberglow at 11:05 AM on January 1, 2006

I'm going to pull something completely out of my ass here.

boy that was a relief. anyway, where were we?
posted by andrew cooke at 12:14 PM on January 1, 2006

It always comes back to somebody's ass eventually doesn't it?
posted by i_cola at 12:28 PM on January 1, 2006

I see spats coming back in a big way.
posted by Protocols of the Elders of Awesome at 12:39 PM on January 1, 2006

Once it's fully digested it always comes back to the ass. If not, you have a serious problem.

I am actuallt quite encouraged by the 2006 at the bottom of the page, considering Matt's previous problem with outdated copyright dates. But maybe we need to make sure: Matt, would you please write me a check?

(fires weapon into the air)
posted by mathowie at 12:59 AM PST on January 1 [!]
There are much better ways to start the year than having to deal with mathowie's weapon. I mean it Matt; write me a check.

And I predict that the biggest events of the next year will occur unpredicted, yet in retrospect be seen as predictable.
posted by wendell at 12:43 PM on January 1, 2006

Happy 6, folks!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:10 PM on January 1, 2006

I predict that a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.
posted by soiled cowboy at 1:30 PM on January 1, 2006

Will they call a cease fire if we return Russel Crowe?

We'd turn your whole 'king country into fused glass. Apart from Bondi, for obvious reasons.
posted by The Monkey at 2:56 PM on January 1, 2006

Hope that weapon Mathowie fired into the air was a sword. Lat/long shows he is only 30 miles from me. Dang transplanted Californians cause all kinds of trouble. Predict even more of them will flee to Oregon in 2006.
posted by Cranberry at 3:29 PM on January 1, 2006

I predict that South America will have at least 1 if not 2 female presidents, and an Aymara one as well.
posted by signal at 6:58 AM on January 2, 2006

piñera is aymara?! ;o)
posted by andrew cooke at 7:26 AM on January 2, 2006

Happy 6, folks!

Has anyone yet created a viable shorthand way to refer to this decade? Civilization should really get that project started.
posted by sleslie at 9:22 AM on January 2, 2006

a viable shorthand

I think The Naughties is far too precious, so I advocate referring to this decade as The Aughts. It will, of course, be much more appropriate in retrospect: "Back in aught-six, we did that one impossibly nostalgic thing," etc.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:31 AM on January 2, 2006

I predict that a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Here in Northern California, it's rained so much that it's actually washed a lot of scum back on to the streets.
posted by Lynsey at 12:35 PM on January 2, 2006

I predict that a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Here in Northern California, it's rained so much that it's actually washed a lot of scum back on to the streets.

Paging Travis Bickle...
posted by soiled cowboy at 2:19 PM on January 2, 2006