Apology presented for poorly thought-out post June 11, 2006 10:04 PM   Subscribe

I wish to apologize to some senior citizens of this forum. [more inside]
posted by Neiltupper to Etiquette/Policy at 10:04 PM (170 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

I recently made my first post to MetaFilter. It was not a good post, which I can see in retrospect, and I had my ears roundly boxed as a consequence. Clearly I offended some of the VIPs of the group and that has prompted in me a serious examination of the flaws in my post. I would like these people to know that their advice has not been lost on me, and that I accept their criticisms in the spirit in which they were intended.

First, my post was not a post. It was an observation and as such, did not meet any metric of what a post should be. Nevertheless there are some observations which do meet such a metric.

Sadly, I realize now that my post was lazy fucking navel gazing and that I couldn't possibly expect any argument with the thesis. I should have posted on a subject where there is a clear divide, such as whether the Florida election was a debacle or not.

It was foolishly a case of "look what I didn't find on the Internet", which is completely opposed to the purpose of MetaFilter. An exception to this rule of course, are things that are found in USA Today.

Evidently, most people do not give a shit about the appropriation of an English word. They are however, vitally interested in people using proper English.

If there is one lesson that I have learned from this experience, it is that I must respect the exemplars offered by amd the consistency shown by these elders of this forum.
posted by Neiltupper at 10:04 PM on June 11, 2006 [1 favorite]


amd and. Sigh. . . even my typing's bad
posted by Neiltupper at 10:11 PM on June 11, 2006


I don't usually get involved in this type of post, however . . .

Wow. Way to be a whiny bitch.
posted by necessitas at 10:13 PM on June 11, 2006


The internet is serious business.
posted by Evstar at 10:14 PM on June 11, 2006


As a man that's weathered many a year I found your post(s) to be entirely offensive and am glad to see that you've sought redemption.

P.S. Depends aren't all that dependable am i rite, anyone want to co-sign?
posted by rob paxon at 10:20 PM on June 11, 2006 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure what's happening here, but I think it's going to get interesting.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:23 PM on June 11, 2006


There was an interesting Ask Metafilter post about this very topic, highlighting that it's not the topic you chose (or the one newsy (abortion-rich) link, one Wikipedia link and one Google News search link you chose to include) it's you. This MetaTalk thread is not helping.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:23 PM on June 11, 2006


Friends, I think our long flame-out drought may be about to end.
posted by LarryC at 10:27 PM on June 11, 2006


I am nearly dead from the flu (I'm not really overstating very much, here) so someone is going to have to explain to me whether Neiltupper's apology is sarcastic or straightforward.
posted by Ryvar at 10:35 PM on June 11, 2006


Rothko is absolutely correct.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:37 PM on June 11, 2006


As a matter of course, editorializing within the post text is generally frowned upon, especially when the subject matter is controversial or contentious.

(It is regrettable that the (editorial) comments you link are not also frowned upon, since they should be put here instead. But that's just how it goes.)
posted by Mr. Six at 10:38 PM on June 11, 2006


Ryvar :( Get better my dear friend.
posted by rob paxon at 10:39 PM on June 11, 2006


I am nearly dead from the flu (I'm not really overstating very much, here) so someone is going to have to explain to me whether Neiltupper's apology is sarcastic or straightforward.

Neither: it's insufferable
posted by Joseph Gurl at 10:41 PM on June 11, 2006


Ryvar: --someone is going to have to explain to me whether Neiltupper's apology is sarcastic or straightforward.

Sarcastic.

Neiltupper: It was not a good post--

Correct. In the early days of the web (early 1990s), NCSA used to have something called "Cool Site of the Day." That's what people here are most interested in seeing: websites which are cool or interesting in some way (technical innovation, excellence in design, unusual content, content that you'd only see on the web).

Short news articles aren't usually interesting. Long investigative articles that go into a lot of details are sometimes interesting.

Short op-eds aren't interesting. Long essays are sometimes interesting.

Disclaimer: I'm not claiming that my own posts to MetaFilter have been exemplars of MetaFilter quality.
posted by russilwvong at 10:43 PM on June 11, 2006


Bonus points for moxie, all lost and then some for being so utterly unsympathetic. Welcome to the family, you unpleasant little thing.
posted by cortex at 10:43 PM on June 11, 2006 [1 favorite]


Main screen turn on!
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:48 PM on June 11, 2006 [1 favorite]



posted by Rhomboid at 10:50 PM on June 11, 2006


Are you some kind of masochist?
posted by delmoi at 10:54 PM on June 11, 2006


Short news articles aren't usually interesting. Long investigative articles that go into a lot of details are sometimes interesting.

Believe it or not, how interested you are in a particular thing is not the universal measure of interestingness.
posted by delmoi at 10:57 PM on June 11, 2006


Were the people on the internet mean to you?
posted by dazed_one at 11:00 PM on June 11, 2006


Anyway Neiltupper if you're looking for sympathy you've come to the wrong place. You got caught in the middle of a long-simmering flame war between different factions who disagree about policy, and your post was not remarkable in terms of quality (low or high).

Just relax.
posted by delmoi at 11:00 PM on June 11, 2006


Somehow I don't think you ought to bring the punning clan all the way to the grey from the blue.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:01 PM on June 11, 2006


Great post. Skewer the old farts and their senile remembrances of the Golden Age of Old Metafilter, also known as the Age of Incest.
posted by Rumple at 11:06 PM on June 11, 2006


People are hypocritical! Therefore, I am immune from criticism!

32 million preteens whined this argument tonight at their bedtimes.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:06 PM on June 11, 2006



posted by puke & cry at 11:07 PM on June 11, 2006


Wow. Just... wow.


posted by loquacious at 11:13 PM on June 11, 2006


Can we close sign ups for metafilter now? please.
posted by bigmusic at 11:17 PM on June 11, 2006


This isn't a flameout. It's a scented candle in a room full of farts.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:24 PM on June 11, 2006


Really I have no idea what the fuck is going on here, so here's a picture of a some bunnies with pancakes on their heads.


posted by loquacious at 11:28 PM on June 11, 2006


People are hypocritical!

Most of the examples he chose aren't really hypocritical. But A+ for obsessive research and grudge-holding, definitely.
posted by mediareport at 11:28 PM on June 11, 2006


BIRDS ARE DYING!!
posted by jonson at 11:41 PM on June 11, 2006


BIRDS ARE DYING!!

Which may have some relation to my flu, yes.
posted by Ryvar at 11:46 PM on June 11, 2006


Which may have some relation to my flu, yes.

That's why you really shouldn't be fucking those chickens.
posted by loquacious at 11:47 PM on June 11, 2006


Nice.
posted by Ryvar at 12:00 AM on June 12, 2006


Yeah, that's what your mom said when I told her about the chickens. She was wondering why you refused the soup.
posted by loquacious at 12:10 AM on June 12, 2006


jonson posted: BIRDS ARE DYING!!

:-(
posted by grouse at 12:13 AM on June 12, 2006


I recently made my first post to MetaFilter.

I think you mean to say your first non-deleted post. You made a one-link post to a BBC news article that you yourself did not consider newsworthy back in 2004. It was deleted. So the fact that your more recent post not only stuck around but had some defenders is a sign that you are getting the hang of things.

For future reference, you may want to reread Brundlefly's polite explanation of what went wrong with your recent post.

Generally speaking, everybody comes to Metafilter looking for interesting links. Some people come looking for interesting discussion. If you post a link that is inherently interesting, you will make everybody happy. If you make a post with a number of links that, collectively, make for a meaty conversation topic, you will at least please those looking for interesting conversation. As your post gets less and less meaty, you will move down a sliding scale, where you please fewer and fewer people and piss more and more of them off. You seem to think that finding posts from various locations on that sliding scale proves something, but I'm not sure quite what.

Look, there's no law saying every Metafilter post has to please everybody. But there's also no law saying you have to post to MetaFilter. If the kind of post you want to make doesn't seem to be the kind of post people here want to read, then you may want to find a site that's more your style. It's all just a bunch of words on a computer screen. Why get worked up about it one way or the other?
posted by yankeefog at 12:20 AM on June 12, 2006


This chicken-fucking meme is making me feel a little weird. Weird in my pants.

If there is one lesson that I have learned from this experience, it is that I must wear looser pants.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:20 AM on June 12, 2006


I'm still kind of hurt you never responded to my haiku, stav. That was written out of love. I feel like the girl you never called back, you callous bastard.
posted by Ryvar at 12:32 AM on June 12, 2006


*feels the weird in stravros' pants*

Yup, it's plenty weird. And little. But plenty weird.
posted by loquacious at 12:34 AM on June 12, 2006


I feel like the girl you never called back, you callous bastard.

*waits for the light to glint off his manly, callous jawline in just the right way as he directs his steely gaze into the sunset*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:40 AM on June 12, 2006



posted by loquacious at 12:41 AM on June 12, 2006


well, that certainly brings new meaning to the proverbial bucket of cocks.
posted by scody at 12:49 AM on June 12, 2006


So this is where all the cocks hang out.
posted by bigmusic at 12:51 AM on June 12, 2006


Neiltupper, don't let the (multiple) bastards get you down.

The post was so-so. My early ones were too. They'll get better over time. As for the peanut gallery, many long-term mefites have nothing better to do than hate on newcomers and cheer on their virtual constituencies. They think it's their club, which it sort of is, unfortunately, but just continue to FPP stuff you find interesting, albeit with as many decent links as possible. If it's really, really bad Numbers One or Two will delete it. The fuckwits who should get their own community blog never will, they'll just pretend anyone beyond their own personal cheer squad cares about what they have to say.


That said, nicely done. My immediate advice? Stick to the blue and never come back to 12062 ever again. Matthowie probably won't kill this (ill advised) thread, so let's try this little experiment--take note of all the whiners who jump all over you. Go to their user profile page, and notice how few stimulating FPP's they've ever made, or even half-decent ones. Notice how often they post in the gray as opposed to the blue. Notice that they'll hit you over the head, repeatedly, in the name of some objective, pristine, invisible standard of "community policing," which really boils down to nothing more than a constant, ubiquitous pissing match between (apparently) self-loathing prigs. Feel free to remind them of this in the gray, and resist the impulse to let it hang out in the blue. Notice how they didn't really take you very seriously when you asked, in what seemed to me total sincerity, how you could make better posts in the future. Because they honestly don't care. Not a wit.
posted by bardic at 12:52 AM on June 12, 2006


What bardic said.
posted by Mr. Six at 12:58 AM on June 12, 2006


What bardic said, but also remember that bardic is a raving lunatic and it's a full moon.
posted by loquacious at 12:59 AM on June 12, 2006


True dat.
posted by bardic at 1:00 AM on June 12, 2006


bardic must have the flu too.

Feel free to remind them of this in the gray, and resist the impulse to let it hang out in the blue. Notice how they didn't really take you very seriously when you asked, in what seemed to me total sincerity, how you could make better posts in the future. Because they honestly don't care. Not a wit.

Who exactly is this they?
Why is it that the numerical statistics of the people who are actively criticizing Neil seem to fall well short of your insipid generalizations?
How in the fuck could a person not delerious from the flu think Neil was being sincere?
When, exactly, did you stop beating your wife?

I guess what I am kinda trying to say here is that you are completely full of shit.
posted by Ryvar at 1:05 AM on June 12, 2006


He asked in this previous clusterfuck. The "self-policing" police where in fine form there, and I regret I didn't mention that some folks gave him some good advice. God forbid someone should, ya know, take a liking to mefi (blue) and try to contribute to it once in a while.

The names of "they" are protected, as usual, to protect the guilty.
posted by bardic at 1:13 AM on June 12, 2006


You fucking fucker.
posted by loquacious at 1:15 AM on June 12, 2006


He asked in this previous clusterfuck.

Ah. I avoided that thread like the plague, but caught it anyway.
posted by Ryvar at 1:27 AM on June 12, 2006



posted by mullingitover at 1:42 AM on June 12, 2006 [1 favorite]




Neiltupper: sarcastic, thin-skinned, and holds a grudge. Don't worry, dear friend. With qualities like that, you're sure to fit in just fine here. In fact, your inevitable meltdown in the near future will only cement your status as a typical Metafilter user who takes their contributions here far too seriously. Cheers!
posted by SeizeTheDay at 4:07 AM on June 12, 2006


Wait, are you serious? What's the punchline?
posted by OmieWise at 4:26 AM on June 12, 2006


what seemed to me total sincerity

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by helcat at 4:51 AM on June 12, 2006


Neiltupper was rejected and it felt inconsistent and unjust. Cry me a river.
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:49 AM on June 12, 2006


Puke & Cry, I might be fired for reading this thread now, but it was worth it.
posted by slimepuppy at 5:50 AM on June 12, 2006


The chicken inline is seriously bad form. If you want to chase away everyone browsing from work, you're doing a great job. It was funny the first time. The 5th time or whatever, not so much. And the more you post it, the more others post it, and the more acceptable stuff like that becomes without any nsfw warning.
posted by Mid at 6:19 AM on June 12, 2006


(post whatever you want with a nsfw warning)
posted by Mid at 6:19 AM on June 12, 2006


*waits impatiently for flameout*
posted by languagehat at 6:26 AM on June 12, 2006




C'mon, Neil, are you gonna take this shit? From a bunch of hypocrites? They're dissing you man, dissing you on the internet where everyone can read it. You have to strike back. Get in here and defend yourself.
posted by LarryC at 6:29 AM on June 12, 2006



posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:40 AM on June 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


Neiltupper, if your original post had been as well put together as this one, there would have been nothing but positive comments.

In general, any attempt to make sense of the multiple conflicting "rules" people will lay out for you will result in only madness. And if you made a post in the blue looking to have your self-worth validated, well, that was a non-starter from the beginning. If you want to be appreciated, volunteer with Big Brothers or something. To quote the great John Cleese, "This is abuse."
posted by GuyZero at 6:41 AM on June 12, 2006


[removed inline chickenfucking image]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:41 AM on June 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


Neil, where are you? I'd prefer to call you a whingy little lickspittle to your face.
posted by jack_mo at 6:42 AM on June 12, 2006


lol he picked on my pancacke post.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:44 AM on June 12, 2006


bardic : "take note of all the whiners who jump all over you. Go to their user profile page, and notice how few stimulating FPP's they've ever made, or even half-decent ones. Notice how often they post in the gray as opposed to the blue. Notice that they'll hit you over the head, repeatedly, in the name of some objective, pristine, invisible standard of 'community policing,' which really boils down to nothing more than a constant, ubiquitous pissing match between (apparently) self-loathing prigs. Feel free to remind them of this in the gray, and resist the impulse to let it hang out in the blue. Notice how they didn't really take you very seriously when you asked, in what seemed to me total sincerity, how you could make better posts in the future. Because they honestly don't care. Not a wit."

bardic : "The names of 'they' are protected, as usual, to protect the guilty."

I'll just assume that "they" refers to me.

And welcome, Neiltupper. This post shows you'll fit in very well as one of "us" in the grey.
posted by Bugbread at 6:44 AM on June 12, 2006


Quick summary thus far:

Neiltupper: comes in and waves his cock around

Usual Mefi Assclowns: come in and piss in the corners and on Neiltupper, wave their dicks around and fuck a chicken.

In conclusion: cocks.

Really, every post in the grey should end with "...and in conclusion, cocks."
posted by FunkyHelix at 6:50 AM on June 12, 2006


I suggest you invest five bucks in a new user name.
posted by caddis at 6:56 AM on June 12, 2006


Oh, and GYOBF.
posted by caddis at 7:04 AM on June 12, 2006


Nt: nothing to commit suicide over, dude.
posted by mischief at 7:13 AM on June 12, 2006


The chicken inline is seriously bad form. If you want to chase away everyone browsing from work, you're doing a great job. It was funny the first time. The 5th time or whatever, not so much. And the more you post it, the more others post it, and the more acceptable stuff like that becomes without any nsfw warning.

wah wah wah. It's deleted so shut the fuck up.
posted by puke & cry at 7:15 AM on June 12, 2006


caddis : "Oh, and GYOBF."

Would you get off fuckwit's case? He already got a blog.
posted by Bugbread at 7:15 AM on June 12, 2006


puke & cry : "It's deleted so shut the fuck up."

Uh, he said that before it got deleted.
posted by Bugbread at 7:16 AM on June 12, 2006


He's being contrite! Oh, wait... No...

"Believe it or not, how interested you are in a particular thing is not the universal measure of interestingness."

Because that's measured with a noumenameter, where the essential quality of the thing itself comes through. Sadly, your post did rate very low on the noumenameter.

Try to make more posts like Bardic's on four-square. That one was good.
posted by klangklangston at 7:18 AM on June 12, 2006



posted by Mikey-San at 7:21 AM on June 12, 2006


my internet picture is broken :(

i lose the thread
posted by Mikey-San at 7:22 AM on June 12, 2006



posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:34 AM on June 12, 2006


wah wah wah. It's deleted so shut the fuck up.

Pure class.
posted by Mid at 7:37 AM on June 12, 2006


If there had been as much effort put into the MeFi FPP that started this whole rigamarole, well, then this rigamarole would never have been started.

And besides, not to be all 'Hey, lookit me!' but I'm a little miffed that I wasn't included in Neiltupper's indepth investigative piece on hypocrites on the Blue, despite being the first to illustrate how it failed to meet the metric. Was it my erroneous use of 'An" instead of 'A' that disqualified me from inclusion on Neiltupper's love list? My 29k member number? My ironclad and tight as a drum posting history? My awesome delts?

Sorry to rant, just really pissed. I thought this was going to involve actual senior citizens, and would end in everyone getting a refreshing glass of Peach-Flavored beverage and ribbon candy.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:44 AM on June 12, 2006


Neilttuper doesn't link to any other MetaFilter members.
1 MetaFilter user(s) link to Neiltupper:
bardic
posted by adamvasco at 7:49 AM on June 12, 2006


ceilingcat
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:51 AM on June 12, 2006


My 29k member number? My ironclad and tight as a drum posting history?

I'm voting for that, Alvy. You're not sufficiently Elder. Kinda hard to play that Cranky Inbred Fogeydom card if you're forced to admit consistencies and inconsistencies of character that exist independent of usernumber.

I only point this out because, as a 7Ker, I get immunity on Mondays. (And on Thursdays? We get half off on any second entree at Denny's.)
posted by cortex at 8:00 AM on June 12, 2006


Wotta rip off.

If anyone needs me I'll be in the parking lot keying up Rascals and slashing the tires.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:14 AM on June 12, 2006


This was an awesome metatalk post. Quadruple well researched hypocrite callout -- excellent.
posted by ducksauce at 8:21 AM on June 12, 2006


1 MetaFilter user(s) link to Neiltupper:

Make that two.
posted by Mr. Six at 8:28 AM on June 12, 2006


Yes, have some.
posted by Captaintripps at 8:32 AM on June 12, 2006


You showed us, Mr. Six!
posted by klangklangston at 8:41 AM on June 12, 2006


You know monju I have no idea exactly why, but that pic you posted is the greatest thing I have seen in ages. The juxtoposition is fantastic. Kudos, my freind, kudos.
posted by ozomatli at 8:47 AM on June 12, 2006


The only thing I've really managed to understand in this thread is that puke & cry is a dickhead.
posted by peacay at 8:54 AM on June 12, 2006


Hey, if the post pissed off Dios, I'm all for it.
posted by scottymac at 8:54 AM on June 12, 2006


Who's Dios?
posted by mrmojoflying at 9:05 AM on June 12, 2006


>PSA tag< blockquote>Fuck NSFW!/>PSA tag<
posted by mischief at 9:15 AM on June 12, 2006


That went well.
posted by mischief at 9:16 AM on June 12, 2006


Mischief, I think you need to apologize to some senior citizens of this forum.
posted by Bugbread at 9:25 AM on June 12, 2006


People bitching at each other online is just not what it used to be.
posted by Captaintripps at 10:04 AM on June 12, 2006


Juno Reactor's "Beyond the Infinite" is a really good CD to program to. It's like it's actually helping the code pour out of my brain.
posted by boo_radley at 10:11 AM on June 12, 2006


What do you think would happen if we did away with user numbers? What if we couldn't tell a 1k'er from a 30k'er? Would we lose the ability to argue? Or would everyone have to state, in each FPP and comment, the date they joined so as to garner the correct amount of respect or disdain, love or hatred?

What if a 1k'er mated with a 30k'er? Would we end up with a 15k'er?

If they had twins, what would the chances be that one of the twins would be a 1k'er and the other a 30k'er. All other things being equal would the 1k'er twin be sent to work in a Nike factory while the 30k'er was sent off to Harvard?

What if we just read the posts, and if we didn't like them, moved on to the next one?

What if it cost a dollar for every complaint in the grey...but you got a huge prize if your complaint caused a very pretty flameout?

What if a bad fpp meant someone could hunt you down and pull off your pants and throw them out the window on the bus, in front of that girl from the 7th grade you had a crush on, would we all be more careful?

What if nobody really cared?
posted by HuronBob at 10:14 AM on June 12, 2006


I was with you up until the part about not caring.
posted by cortex at 10:17 AM on June 12, 2006


boo_radley : "Juno Reactor's 'Beyond the Infinite' is a really good CD to program to."

It's been a while since I listened to it, but I can see how that would work. I'd forgotten how low the BPM was on a lot of it, though. Pelinpala's "My cd has landed on the next door neighbours dog" is absolutely horrible to program to, though.
posted by Bugbread at 10:22 AM on June 12, 2006


What if a bad fpp meant someone could hunt you down and pull off your pants and throw them out the window on the bus, in front of that girl from the 7th grade you had a crush on, would we all be more careful?

Is that the bus with these women on it?
posted by Gator at 10:24 AM on June 12, 2006


Die, Newsfilter, Die!

Neil, feel free to post something that is not ripped from the headlines, or immersed in speculation. I don't have a problem with you posting to MeTa about your oopsie; it's better than taking it out in the thread itself. But other people might. It's a community website, so you have to either deal with the vast number of personalities on the site jockeying for popularity or ignore them entirely and share websites that fill you with joy.
posted by Eideteker at 10:47 AM on June 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


Who is handing out the buckets of cock this time?
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:01 AM on June 12, 2006


What do you think would happen if we did away with user numbers? What if we couldn't tell a 1k'er from a 30k'er?

Seeing as how http://www.metafilter.com/username/mathowie works the same as http://www.metafilter.com/user.mefi/1, I don't understand why #1 mathowie doesn't get rid of visible user numbers. Studies show that doing so could decrease overall twattishness by up to 1%.
posted by jack_mo at 11:01 AM on June 12, 2006


jack_mo: "... I don't understand why #1 mathowie doesn't get rid of visible user numbers."

Here, here!

-ewagoner, 1387, July 19, 2000
posted by ewagoner at 11:23 AM on June 12, 2006


God dammit, I criticized his post, too! Why didn't he scour MY posting history for all those times that I posted crappy google news searches to the front page?!

oh, I suppose it's because I never did that.

oh well, I guess his post just sucks, then.

I would like to say, though, that this is what happens when the admins let crappy newsfilter stay on the front page. when some truly abyssmal crap newsfilter post gets deleted, the whiny bitches just scour the site for all the examples that didn't get deleted and make "YOU'RE ALL HYPOCRITES!" threads like this. this is the peril of inconsistent moderation.
posted by shmegegge at 11:29 AM on June 12, 2006


ewagoner : "Here, here!

-ewagoner, 1387, July 19, 2000"


Agreed.

-bugbread, user number redacted, June 18, 1994
posted by Bugbread at 11:35 AM on June 12, 2006


Over twelve hours and still NO dramatic flame-out? I can't believe I read this far down for nothing.
posted by MrZero at 11:47 AM on June 12, 2006


LarryC: Get in here and defend yourself.. Thanks - I'll try.

Ryvar: As you will have discerned by now, the post was sarcastic. All except for the admission that it was not a good post, a fact which several respondents constructively pointed out.

cortex: Unsympathetic? To whom?

delmoi: masochist? Nah. I'm on the other team.

yankeefog: you're right. But it was two years ago, and deleted. Cut me some slack? I did read Brundlefly's comments and was appreciative. Seriously.

mullingtower: chuckle

SeizeTheDay: inevitable meltdown? FUCK YOU YOU, YOU FUCKIN' LIMP_DICKED HOOPLEHEADED COCKSUCKER. IT'S MY FAMILY LUCK, OVER CENTURIES, TO GET REPEATEDLY FUCKED UP THE ASS, AND HERE, IN THIS FUCKIN' FORUM, IS WHERE THE CHAIN GETS FUCKIN' BROKEN! ( Bless you David Milch! )

OmieWise: why would there be a punchline if I was serious?

mrmojoflying: it felt inconsistent and unjust No. Invigorating.

jack_mo: I'd prefer to call you a whingy little lickspittle to your face. Here in Vancouver - with my face in front of the monitor.

mr_crash_davis: my pancacke post.Probably the only part of my post that I have any regrets about. It was a constructive criticism, thanks, but that pancake was just was just waiting to be grilled.

caddis: new user name. Huh?

Alvy Ampersand: I wasn't included Sorry Alvy, you're not a senior citizen. And you're reply didn't meet my metric - not snarky enough.

shmegegee: God dammit, I criticized his post, too! Why didn't he scour MY posting history for all those times that I posted crappy google news searches to the front page?!
Hey! You passed the vitriol test, but your hypocrisy quotient didn't pass muster. Don't feel bad, at least I checked.
posted by Neiltupper at 11:49 AM on June 12, 2006


So, no flameout? Not even a little tiny one?

*looks at Neiltupper with puppy dog eyes*
posted by iconomy at 11:56 AM on June 12, 2006


Ryvar: As you will have discerned by now, the post was sarcastic.

Buh? About the only thinking I'm discerning at the moment is that I really, really regret continuing to live through this.
posted by Ryvar at 12:07 PM on June 12, 2006


Thing, I mean. I think. Thanks to loquacious for the ibuprofen suggestion, though - I know longer feel like my joints have been broen with a sledgehammer.
posted by Ryvar at 12:08 PM on June 12, 2006


[removed inline chickenfucking image]
posted by jessamyn at 9:41 AM EST on June 12 [+fave] [!]


How could anyone find such an image anyway?
posted by caddis at 12:09 PM on June 12, 2006


cortex: Unsympathetic? To whom?

To the reader, the denizen of Metatalk, the supposed consumer of your presentation.

To be clear, I'm using unsympathetic to denote that your post was presented in a way that drew zero sympathy—you are, in your writeup, an unsympathetic character.

I do not mean it in the sense that you are failing to feel/express sympathy for others—that's obvious right out the gate and is tied directly to the moxie bonus.

To restate with less overloaded terms:

I appreciate and admire your willingness to research and post a snarky complaint flush with citations, but you came off as such an unpleasant ass in the writeup that you lost any bit of ground you might have gained through your exhibit of weird diligence. I found myself respecting the work but loathing the presentation.
posted by cortex at 12:15 PM on June 12, 2006


Ironically, it was jessamyn who first posted it, and to her, I and many others among us are forever indebted.
posted by brownpau at 12:18 PM on June 12, 2006


(Note, however, that my impression of the assholeness of your post reflects as much a dislike for the ongoing Oldbie/Newbie bitchery that your post springboards off of as anything—an explicitly value-neutral reading of it is milder. However, as you were pretty clearly springboarding off the Elder notion, you don't get any slack there.)
posted by cortex at 12:20 PM on June 12, 2006


MetaFilter: respecting the work but loathing the presentation
posted by brain_drain at 12:21 PM on June 12, 2006


Caddis: He didn't find the image, he made the image. *shudders*
posted by LarryC at 12:35 PM on June 12, 2006


Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously yelling the word "Savages!" after losing six thousand dollars on a roulette spin at the Choctaw Nation Casino and Sports Book. When I was growing up, the meaning of this word in our household closely approximated the Hawaiian "Aloha," and my use of it in the casino was meant to express "Until we meet again."
posted by Heatwole at 12:36 PM on June 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


it was jessamyn who first posted it

No, it was jessamyn who first *linked* it. The difference is important. Every time it's been posted as an inline image since then, it's been deleted.
posted by mediareport at 12:55 PM on June 12, 2006


Heatwole, joo talkin' ta me?
posted by cortex at 1:05 PM on June 12, 2006


mediareport points out an important distinction - not only did jessamyn link instead of inline, she also made a (NSFW) comment right beside her link.
posted by raedyn at 1:11 PM on June 12, 2006


wins.
posted by shmegegge at 1:19 PM on June 12, 2006


Several years ago, In California, I ate my first clam and said it tasted "like a gonad dipped in motor oil." I would like to apologize to Bob 'n' Betty's Clam Fiesta, and especially to Bob, who I found out later had only one testicle. I would like to apologize to the waitress, June, and her affiliates, and to the DePaul family dog, who suffered the contents of my nauseated stomach.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 1:24 PM on June 12, 2006


I like it when people stick a fork in convention.
posted by Captaintripps at 1:30 PM on June 12, 2006


Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously yelling the word "Savages!" after losing six thousand dollars on a roulette spin at the Choctaw Nation Casino and Sports Book. When I was growing up, the meaning of this word in our household closely approximated the Hawaiian "Aloha," and my use of it in the casino was meant to express "Until we meet again."

Oh dead lord, I fear I might have done an injury to my sac during the laughing and table pounding fit. Bravissimo, you magnificent fucker.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:34 PM on June 12, 2006


You might like the full essay.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 1:36 PM on June 12, 2006


Still Funny.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:37 PM on June 12, 2006


Metafilter: Removed inline chickenfucking image
posted by Duncan at 2:22 PM on June 12, 2006


I want a flameout, and I want it now. If you're going to be an egregious ass, at least give us the entertainment we deserve.
posted by languagehat at 2:43 PM on June 12, 2006



posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:54 PM on June 12, 2006


We need to spec a flameout standard, so that n00bs can do it right.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:58 PM on June 12, 2006


I think the process starts something like this:

Step 1: have a few drinks
Step 2: Get righteous
Step 3: have few more drinks
Step 4: Make sure you defend yourself and your position against all complaints, no matter how small. Remember, you are right and everybody else is WRONG.
posted by caddis at 3:13 PM on June 12, 2006


I think I like this Neiltupper.
posted by loquacious at 3:45 PM on June 12, 2006


You say that about all the fresh meat.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:12 PM on June 12, 2006


Some days I come on here and really wonder why all this fun is only $5.
posted by Surfurrus at 4:15 PM on June 12, 2006


You say that about all the fresh meat.

You just crossed the line, bub. From now on I'm calling you special sashimi sampler.
posted by loquacious at 4:20 PM on June 12, 2006


Here in Vancouver - with my face in front of the monitor.

For the first time, I wish I had one of those iSight webcam thingamajigs ;-)
posted by jack_mo at 4:21 PM on June 12, 2006


I don't understand why #1 mathowie doesn't get rid of visible user numbers. Studies show that doing so could decrease overall twattishness by up to 1%.
posted by jack_mo at 7:01 PM GMT on June 12


Spoken a true NON MEMBER OF THE 14k ARMY !
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:22 PM on June 12, 2006


er , like.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:22 PM on June 12, 2006


No, you were correct the first time, sarge.
posted by NoMich at 4:34 PM on June 12, 2006


14K REPRAZENT!
posted by languagehat at 4:43 PM on June 12, 2006


RARRR !!!!
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:49 PM on June 12, 2006


Not for a long time has anyone joined metafilter for links to the best of the web. A cheapening thought. Metatalk is the black well around which everything else orbits. Metatalk alone has the power to turn the vapid and the vacuous solid, to give it form, a weight worthy of attention. It destroys.. yes. But it creates a pure white noise narry a fly can ignore. Or something.
posted by econous at 5:26 PM on June 12, 2006


Uh, I don't know if you were aware but it's possible to read the site to your heart's content without being a member. Only for the privilege of sharing your wisdom do we require you to sign up. Or something.
posted by mullingitover at 5:44 PM on June 12, 2006


Metatalk alone has the power to turn the vapid and the vacuous solid, to give it form, a weight worthy of attention.

That. That is why I come here.
posted by cortex at 5:47 PM on June 12, 2006


Two words: eleven-eight-oh-six.
Wait, that's four words.
So just fucking think about those two words.
posted by signal at 6:04 PM on June 12, 2006


Ah, the good ol' days, when n00bs like Neiltupper were a dime a dozen (or was that $5 each?)

And I was one of them.

</gazing at own navel>
posted by Doohickie at 6:57 PM on June 12, 2006


So, whose sockpuppet is econous?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:39 PM on June 12, 2006


Man, I love it when you sissy ninnies get fucked with.
posted by Captaintripps at 8:33 PM on June 12, 2006


The call me an old fart. Not because I'm aged, but because I'm silent but deadly.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:43 PM on June 12, 2006




"that feels MUCH better"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:48 PM on June 12, 2006


14K 4 Lyfe
posted by Ryvar at 3:16 AM on June 13, 2006


I came for the flameout, I stayed for the laughs. Did y'all grow up or something?
posted by Sparx at 4:17 AM on June 13, 2006


It's increasingly seeming that way. We've been trying to have a flameout for so long now and all the promising ones just end up fizzling. I keep getting promised Ragnarok and instead it's just more goddamn cocksucking.
posted by Ryvar at 4:23 AM on June 13, 2006


Nobody has passion anymore, that's the problem.
posted by caddis at 4:26 AM on June 13, 2006


I'd prefer to call you a whingy little lickspittle to your face.
...Here in Vancouver - with my face in front of the monitor.


I recognize the cold, sharp smack of a bitch-slap when I hear it! Well done.

[removed inline chickenfucking image]

Posterity will not be kind to you, Jess, for robbing it of such wonders.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:15 AM on June 13, 2006


is this a call out thread? did i do something wrong?




posted by tnai at 5:57 AM on June 13, 2006


My bucket of cocks and I are going home and taking our ball with us. This thread is a great disappointment.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:27 AM on June 13, 2006


But, but, but . . .
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:46 AM on June 13, 2006


This thread is closed to new comments.
































Hah! That never gets old.
posted by loquacious at 6:48 AM on June 13, 2006


Nobody has passion anymore, that's the problem.

Passion? I thought we were supposed to have poisson.
posted by Mid at 7:10 AM on June 13, 2006


Something's a little fishy about this post...
posted by Deoridhe at 9:07 AM on June 13, 2006


Wow, that's the best you could do to highlight the horrid, horrid hypocrisy I shed upon the Blue? Or, for that matter, anyone else you bothered to call out?

This kind of bitching reeks of a fundamental insecurity. Might I suggest your next post be one to AskMe requesting information on how to take criticism without being such a Drama Queen?
posted by mkultra at 10:42 AM on June 13, 2006


oh by the way, thank you to monju_bosatsu for having linked that steve martin article. it almost makes up for forcing me to type out your entire inscrutable name in order to thank you.
posted by shmegegge at 11:47 AM on June 13, 2006


Poisson pantalones.
posted by cortex at 12:15 PM on June 13, 2006


take criticism without being such a Drama Queen?

oh, shut up. he was being sarcastic. it was funny.
I knew there was a spark left in this thread. thanks mkultra!
love,
carson + everyone else still holding on to the hope of a flameout.

posted by carsonb at 4:31 PM on June 13, 2006


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