I did not answer the question.

July 8, 2006 9:54 AM

I did not answer this question with the punchline from the "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!" joke. I'd like it to be known it took enormous will.

You're welcome
posted by mojohand to Etiquette/Policy at 9:54 AM (48 comments total)

Did someone really put a picture of their wang on AskMefi? Wow.
posted by Loto at 10:03 AM on July 8, 2006

Maybe you could cure him with your mojohand.
posted by jonmc at 10:07 AM on July 8, 2006

Dammit, there were only eleven hours to go.
posted by Gator at 10:08 AM on July 8, 2006

Hey, he's just a guy looking for help with a pretty intimate problem, do we need to laugh at all of the intimate questions we get here? Clearly not being an exhibitionist either.
posted by moonbird at 10:09 AM on July 8, 2006

I stupidly didn't realize I was marring a pristine day until after I posted, Gator. Apologies.

That's my point, 'bird. We're staying out of the way and letting people whose humor has progressed beyond adolescence help a brother out. But it ain't easy.
posted by mojohand at 10:14 AM on July 8, 2006

We call this "paying you to stay out of jail" in my family.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:26 AM on July 8, 2006

Could have taken a picture sans balls.
posted by justgary at 10:44 AM on July 8, 2006

I bet that guy get ALL the girls now.
posted by Balisong at 10:50 AM on July 8, 2006

AskMe users are unbelievably kind and generous. They actually looked at pictures of this guy's schlong and gave him sincere advice.

They are better people than I. I can't bear to actually click on the picture, and I'm passing by on the other side. (In my defense, this is appropriate since I couldn't have given any knowledgeable advice.
posted by orange swan at 11:00 AM on July 8, 2006

You're a better man than I, mojohand. Stay strong.

The fact that this guy's pimpled wang is now in my browser window strikes me as a joke. A cruel, cruel joke.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:00 AM on July 8, 2006

That pic is pretty useless for any diagnosis, it's way out of focus.

But still. Ouch and/or eww.
posted by loquacious at 11:18 AM on July 8, 2006

I saw a co-worker looking at pimpled wangs on AskMe at work, should I get him fired?
posted by mullacc at 11:20 AM on July 8, 2006

Thanks for the wallpaper, Devileyezz!
posted by sourwookie at 11:21 AM on July 8, 2006

Was he looking over his shoulder all shifty-like, mullacc?
posted by Gator at 11:23 AM on July 8, 2006

Gator: Yes, it was very distrubing. I couldn't even finish watching the hardcore porn I had on the projector screen in the conference room.
posted by mullacc at 11:26 AM on July 8, 2006

Boy, I'd sure hate to see the picture photoshopped for comedic effect.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:26 AM on July 8, 2006

Who knows? This could be the first of many. Though I hope nobody asks me to look at an anal fissure.
posted by idest at 11:29 AM on July 8, 2006

This askMe reminds me of that FPP, which seems to have been deleted, about penis pains. What was that link?
posted by bjork24 at 11:37 AM on July 8, 2006

Nevermind... found it. Perhaps these two are related somehow.
posted by bjork24 at 11:40 AM on July 8, 2006

Yeah, I'm tempted to favorite that one myself, if for nothing more than the dental porn.
posted by Gator at 11:43 AM on July 8, 2006

Oh no he didn't name that "pimp.jpg."
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:01 PM on July 8, 2006

what a dick.
posted by kcm at 12:06 PM on July 8, 2006

I was really hoping the picture would be close-up enough that no penis shaft would be visible; that it would be just a photo of a pimple surrounded by skin.

I was sorely disappointed.
posted by jayder at 12:57 PM on July 8, 2006

I was sorely disappointed.

haha good work
posted by xmutex at 1:03 PM on July 8, 2006

Hey, he's just a guy looking for help with a pretty intimate problem

I'm not sure what his deal is. He asks for "more nice answers" as if the mention of the possibility of herpes wasn't what he wanted to hear. Sorry dude, but you may have herpes. It ain't nice, but neither is ignoring it.
posted by scarabic at 1:12 PM on July 8, 2006

I had a penis pimple once. ONCE. I guess I should have taken a picture of my dick and posted it on askmetafilter. Don't worry, if I get another one I'll tell you guys about it.
posted by puke & cry at 1:51 PM on July 8, 2006

Boy, I'd sure hate to see the picture photoshopped enhanced using Adobe® Photoshop® for comedic effect.
posted by youarenothere at 2:18 PM on July 8, 2006

Unless anyone wants to claim the poultry penetration image, that thread marks the first time any MeFites have posted a picture of their own junk on the site, doesn't it? A watershed moment.

Heh, I said head. Sort of.
posted by emelenjr at 2:44 PM on July 8, 2006

Sorry, I have to ask. Why is the colour of his hand so different to his penis?
posted by movilla at 2:53 PM on July 8, 2006

According to urologists every "pimple" on the genitals is herpes until proven otherwise. And FWIW I think he's yanking his our chain.
posted by Devils Slide at 2:54 PM on July 8, 2006

He's not getting anywhere near my chain with that crotchrot.
posted by loquacious at 2:59 PM on July 8, 2006

whew. I guess it's finally safe for me to post some pics of my yeast infection.
posted by madamjujujive at 2:59 PM on July 8, 2006

Sorry, I have to ask. Why is the colour of his hand so different to his penis?

Might have used a wedding photographer. They're always yanking people around.
posted by yerfatma at 3:08 PM on July 8, 2006

The poster says it's a recurring problem. Matt, maybe now you can increase the wait time between AskMe posts?
posted by klarck at 6:44 PM on July 8, 2006

Why is the colour of his hand so different to his penis?

I guess SOMEbody needs a lesson in black wang pigmentation.
posted by Gator at 6:51 PM on July 8, 2006

He asks for "more nice answers" as if the mention of the possibility of herpes wasn't what he wanted to hear.

By the looks of things, you've got a deposit of gold in that penis!
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 7:49 PM on July 8, 2006

mojohand you are a hero to us all.
posted by delmoi at 8:12 PM on July 8, 2006

If I'd known it was this kind of party, I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes. But not the same mashed potatoes.

Of course, if I was going to make that post, it'd damn well have been anon.
posted by absalom at 8:46 PM on July 8, 2006

Just when I think I will no longer be amazed by an AskMe thread...
But seriously, what orangeswan said - people are behaving themselves damn well in those comments. Unless someone behind the scenes is cleaning it out every now and then...
Er, the thread I mean. Not anything else. That I know of.
posted by batgrlHG at 11:34 PM on July 8, 2006

Why is the colour of his hand so different to his penis?

He said the penis was his, he didn't mention the hand.
posted by Tarrama at 4:05 AM on July 9, 2006

Much like the Amish, I, too, will not take the thing from his hand.
posted by horsewithnoname at 6:21 AM on July 9, 2006

I'm puzzled by the talk or urologists. Seems to me he'd you'd want to see a dermatologist.
posted by bingo at 6:50 AM on July 9, 2006

(shaft!)

canya dig it?
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 7:04 AM on July 9, 2006

I'd post a picture of my wenis, but MeFi users tend to frown on side-scrolling.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:24 AM on July 9, 2006

"I guess SOMEbody needs a lesson in black wang pigmentation."

FPP! FPP!
posted by graventy at 5:09 PM on July 9, 2006

As far as I know urologists deal with STD's and issues related to the netherregions, bingo.
posted by Devils Slide at 8:42 PM on July 9, 2006

"I guess SOMEbody needs a lesson in black wang pigmentation."

Or, more succinctly:

"I guess SOMEbody needs a lesson in black wang"

You know, or, to be more general and inclusive:

"I guess SOMEbody needs a lesson in wang"

But as long as we've got our fly unzipped let's just say it all at once, shall we:

"wang"

After all, it's a one-word answer for most things in the world.
posted by scarabic at 8:40 PM on July 11, 2006

Hahaha!!

"Wang"

Hahahehehe!
posted by Balisong at 11:04 PM on August 3, 2006