Clean-up on aisle 30730 September 5, 2006 9:27 PM   Subscribe


seconded
posted by matkline at 9:28 PM on September 5, 2006


Thirded. He's shitting all over Ask as I type.
posted by dobbs at 9:28 PM on September 5, 2006


BE WARNED...DO NOT EXPRESS TRUE FEELINGS ON THIS SITE....THEY WILL LOG YOUR ID AND REPORT YOU AND REMOVE TRIVIAL QUESTIONS THAT RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT MOVING OUT OF THIS COUNTRY....BE WARNED...THIS SITE REPORTS SUBVERSIVES TO THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS....ASK ME I KNOW.
posted by jamie939 at 12:25 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]


be warned, this site censors questions that do not agree with the government in power in the USA...hide your username and identity from these people.
posted by jamie939 at 12:19 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]


do not count on answers here....askmefi censors questions that have an anti usa slant.
posted by jamie939 at 12:12 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]


just be careful with your questions....askmefi will censor you if they do not like the liberal tone of your question.
posted by jamie939 at 12:10 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]


Be very careful what you ask...AskMeFi censors quesitons that challenge the established government in the USA.
posted by jamie939 at 12:14 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]


THIS SITE CENSORS ANTI USA IDEAS...BE WARNED...CONCEAL YOUR EMAIL ETC....
posted by jamie939 at 12:22 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:29 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


For the kids who'll surely miss out while they're sleeping.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:29 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Fourthed. This is particularly...interesting.
posted by cerebus19 at 9:29 PM on September 5, 2006


Gosh. I was just coming over here to mention this.
posted by Alison at 9:30 PM on September 5, 2006


Fifth-ed.
posted by ktrey at 9:30 PM on September 5, 2006


Here's the cause
posted by cillit bang at 9:30 PM on September 5, 2006


And here.
And here.
And here.
And here.
And here.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:31 PM on September 5, 2006


I'd e-mail him, but he/she has pulled their address from the site. I'll just call my pal GEORGE BUSH and have him LOCKED UP FOR A THOUSAND YEARS, MWA HA HA!!!!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:31 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


And here I was thinking the deletion of his question was a little excessive. What a tool.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:31 PM on September 5, 2006


The last question he asked is still open to new comments. Just saying.
posted by brownpau at 9:31 PM on September 5, 2006


BE WARNED...THIS SITE REPORTS SUBVERSIVE IDEAS TO GOVERMENT OFFICIALS...THEY PLAY THEMSELVES OFF AS BEING A REALLY RAD, COOL, SITE FOR LIKE MINDED FOLKS...IT IS NOT....IT IS A COLLECTION POINT FOR ENEMIES OF THE STATE....ASK ME, I KNOW FOR A FACT...U WILL MOST LIKELY SEE THIS POST DISAPPEAR SOON....
posted by jamie939 at 12:31 AM EST on September 6 [+fave] [!]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:32 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Oh no, what if he's right?????????
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:32 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


You can kind of follow how his responses become more and more crazy as time progresses and he gets more irritated that anyone dare censor him. The raving paranoia kicked in at 12:19 AM and, after that, it's all caps rambling. Kind of fun.
posted by MegoSteve at 9:32 PM on September 5, 2006


What a friggin maroon.

Dude, Canada doesn't want you either!
posted by dobbs at 9:33 PM on September 5, 2006


MetaFilter: A collection point for enemies of the state.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:33 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


No one was engaging him... so he had to switch to the caps. Wait until he figures out he can use bold and italic.
posted by smackfu at 9:33 PM on September 5, 2006


AskMefi questions are never censored for appearing "liberal".
posted by orthogonality at 9:34 PM on September 5, 2006


What's the holdup between posts? There's a 9 minute gap between his last 2 comments.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:34 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Well, I don't think Canada currently has a policy about granting asylum to paranoid American homosexuals, so unfortunately I think we're stuck with him.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:34 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


He probably had to poop.
posted by MegoSteve at 9:34 PM on September 5, 2006


orthogonality: it's all about you, isn't it?
posted by Stynxno at 9:35 PM on September 5, 2006


Hmmm, total comment count just went from 65 to 63. I think the cleanup has begun :-(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:36 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Yeesh, you know the one thing this site doesn't do is censor anti-USA rants...
posted by frogan at 9:36 PM on September 5, 2006


bwaha
posted by sergeant sandwich at 9:37 PM on September 5, 2006


Now all that downtime today makes sense. #1 was installing hardware for his secret NSA wiretaps.
posted by Humanzee at 9:39 PM on September 5, 2006


What's the holdup between posts? There's a 9 minute gap between his last 2 comments.

That's when they took him away to the camps. It took a few minutes to get the plant in place. Did Matt forget to CC you on that or something?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:39 PM on September 5, 2006


There is no "Matt". Only an evil robot logging all our evil, anti-government thoughts! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! FLY EVIL ROBOT FLY!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:40 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


What a twit. I'm tired of the periodic posts every three months of someone saying "oh noes!! I have to leave the USA!!!" on ask mefi, but the whole "facists will come after us gays first!" was totally over the top. He could search for the umpteen threads about how to try and get a job and citizenship abroad.

Shitting all over the site seals his fate. Permabanned.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:40 PM on September 5, 2006


Yay!
posted by ktrey at 9:41 PM on September 5, 2006


Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:41 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


Maybe I'm just drunk, but he sounded sexy.
posted by MegoSteve at 9:43 PM on September 5, 2006


Maybe I'm just drunk, but he sounded sexy.

You're drunk. Lay down. It'll pass.
posted by frogan at 9:45 PM on September 5, 2006


For the record, I've checked with a few of my fascist buddies, and once the glorious revolution comes we're definitely targeting the intellectuals first. Oh sure, among the intellectuals, I suppose we'd prioritize the GAY intellectuals. And then within that subgenre I suppose we'd just go in alphabetical order. But yeah, the non-intellectual gays have nothing to fear until slightly later. If you look around, and don't see anyone reading Sartre, stop blowing that dude & hop a train to Canada.
posted by jonson at 9:51 PM on September 5, 2006 [10 favorites]


Wow. That's the craziest we've had in a while. Good times.
posted by bob sarabia at 9:55 PM on September 5, 2006


Um, i saw a crazy dude. But now hes gone.

I think he went to mexico.
posted by gergtreble at 10:00 PM on September 5, 2006


Agent Howie could feel the heat closing in on him. Ever since he had stolen the book that the Librarian had asked him to steal weeks ago he could feel the walls closing in on him. It was almost as if someone knew who he was, what he had done and what he was doing here in Andorra. He couldn't shake this uneasy feeling that all his hard work was about to come unstuck.

He had to get his mind off of the subject, and he felt that there was no better way than to check in on Project Metafilter. After all, it had come in handy in answering question to his most puzzling situations in the past. And besides, it was probably important. After all, the book had prophesied that his project would "change the world." Maybe, thought How, MetaTalk would provide a funny flameout between two internet nerds and he could get his mind off of the subject.

Scanning the threads, How saw one that looked like it could have just the right stuff to do it. "Clean-up on aisle 30730" he said. "Interesting. I wonder what twerp has gone and shat all over Metafilter this time. But clicking the link to the thread in question brought Howie nothing but dread. His mouth dropped open and his heart began to race. Someone by the name of 'jamie939' had posted the words Agent Howie never ever wanted to read on Metafilter.
"BE WARNED...DO NOT EXPRESS TRUE FEELINGS ON THIS SITE....THEY WILL LOG YOUR ID AND REPORT YOU AND REMOVE TRIVIAL QUESTIONS THAT RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT MOVING OUT OF THIS COUNTRY....BE WARNED...THIS SITE REPORTS SUBVERSIVES TO THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS....ASK ME I KNOW."
"Holy shit!" thought Howie. "Who the fuck is this cunt? And how the hell does he know?!?" Quickly he deleted the comments. In the back of his mind, he desperately hoped Operative R hadn't seen them. Indeed, he hoped as few people as possible had read the comments. A leak like this could derail not just the invasion, but expose The Agency itself!

As he contemplated the thought, the silence of the room was pierced by the sudden ringing of his mobile telephone. "It can't be Operative R" How assured himself. "If it was him he'd have used the secure line. It must be someone else." Looking at the display, the caller ID cryptically read "Withheld."He had no choice. He quickly answered the call, secretly afraid of who it might turn out to be, but also hoping that the call might provide the clues to this latest spanner in the proverbial works.

Agent Howie soon had his answer. "Hello again, Agent Howie" said the female voice on the other end of the line. He recognized it instantly. It was The Librarian.

"You again!" said How. "What do you want."

"That which you stole for me" said The Librarian. "And I'd like it today. No more delays. It's my birthday, after all."

"Yeah, I was getting to that" said Howie. "You would have gotten a call soon. I only stole the damn thing two days ago. I'm pretty busy here, you know, and a man needs his sleep."

"I understand How" she replied. "But similarly, a girl likes her trinkets*. And that book is something I really, really want. Now no more delays."

Howie could take it no more. "Now you listen here, dammit!" he said tersely. "I'm not the kind of guy who likes to take orders. And like I said, I'm in the middle of something. Now unless you have something important to say, then I'm hanging up!"

"Oh but I do, my dear" The Librarian responded. "I've been following the latest happenings on Metafilter. I trust by now you've seen jamie939's work. I'm sure you'd like to know who he is and how he know's Metafilter's true purpose."

"I would."

"Then let me tell you How. He's the one you're after. He's the one who killed your friend, Agent Babyguru. He's the one you so desperately want to kill. And only I know where to find him. And the quicker you and I meet and I get that book, the quicker you'll have your revenge."

That was all he needed to know. In an instant the meeting was set and the call ended. Agent Howie got up, turned off the computer, and picked up his gun. Looking down at it, he knew what he needed to do.

It was time to go celebrate a birthday party...

See The Adventures of Agent How #54: No Talking Allowed", wherein Agent Howie's profiling of The Librarian and her past reveals that she is infact an expert jewel thief.
posted by Effigy2000 at 10:00 PM on September 5, 2006 [12 favorites]


I can't wait for the next thrilling installment.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:09 PM on September 5, 2006


Thank you pink, you are now my superhero. This thread would have been so vacant without that.
posted by caddis at 10:13 PM on September 5, 2006


I always make sure to sign my posts so that you know who posted it.

ninjew
posted by ninjew at 10:16 PM on September 5, 2006


To be fair, he had a pretty healthy answers to questions ratio.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:20 PM on September 5, 2006 [1 favorite]


He....seems....pretty....unhinged....there....too.
posted by bob sarabia at 10:29 PM on September 5, 2006


I miss all the action.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:44 PM on September 5, 2006


Damn -- I wanna talk about my cat getting raptured! But this is fun, too.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:46 PM on September 5, 2006


Ok, so this is pretty much solved.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:47 PM on September 5, 2006


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