Bear vs. Monkey: -not- a valid AskMe? October 5, 2006 7:21 PM Subscribe
Honestly, can't we have a little fun every now and then? Am I missing some precedent here?
I thoroughly agree. Metafilter needs to lighten the fuck up.
posted by Dr. Wu at 7:24 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by Dr. Wu at 7:24 PM on October 5, 2006
We don't have enough questions in the green already? We need useless, stupid fucking questions in addition to some of the normal, stupid fucking questions that are already asked?
posted by SeizeTheDay at 7:25 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by SeizeTheDay at 7:25 PM on October 5, 2006
Did you miss this paragraph on top of the page on which you posted your question?
Note: AskMe questions should have a purpose, goal, or problem to be solved. Open-ended chatty questions that don't offer a problem to be solved are detrimental to the long term usefulness of the site. Also, please try to keep the questions from being too specific or too stupid. Don't be an ass, and ask your question if you feel it is important. If in doubt, check the guidelines.
Or this question from the FAQ: My Ask Metafilter question was removed as chatfilter. What does that mean?
posted by hooray at 7:26 PM on October 5, 2006
Note: AskMe questions should have a purpose, goal, or problem to be solved. Open-ended chatty questions that don't offer a problem to be solved are detrimental to the long term usefulness of the site. Also, please try to keep the questions from being too specific or too stupid. Don't be an ass, and ask your question if you feel it is important. If in doubt, check the guidelines.
Or this question from the FAQ: My Ask Metafilter question was removed as chatfilter. What does that mean?
posted by hooray at 7:26 PM on October 5, 2006
It was harmless but Matt can't really win here. If he had left it up, he'd never hear the end of...
"But...But...why was my flying pigs question deleted when that Bears vs. Monkeys was left up????? WTF??"
As soon as I saw it I thought: No matter if it is deleted or not, whiners will show up in Metatalk in 3...2...1...
posted by vacapinta at 7:29 PM on October 5, 2006
"But...But...why was my flying pigs question deleted when that Bears vs. Monkeys was left up????? WTF??"
As soon as I saw it I thought: No matter if it is deleted or not, whiners will show up in Metatalk in 3...2...1...
posted by vacapinta at 7:29 PM on October 5, 2006
I think that the primary purpose of AskMe is to help people answer legitimate questions, having the answer to which will have some real benefits. Amusing other members may very well be one of the purposes of AskMe, but it's definitely down the ladder in terms of importance.
posted by Pontius Pilate at 7:30 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by Pontius Pilate at 7:30 PM on October 5, 2006
I'll have to claim ignorance here. My fault for not thoroughly reading the guidelines. The question was obviously inappropriate for the forum. I apologize.
posted by es_de_bah at 7:37 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by es_de_bah at 7:37 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
can't we have a little fun every now and then?
no. no, you cannot. clearly you haven't been paying attention.
posted by quonsar at 7:37 PM on October 5, 2006
no. no, you cannot. clearly you haven't been paying attention.
posted by quonsar at 7:37 PM on October 5, 2006
sorry es_de_bah, I saw your lowish user number and didn't send you an email explaining why I'd removed your question. There are places for chattier type questions that may not belong here and you might want to give them a try.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:40 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:40 PM on October 5, 2006
Let's not make askMefi too utilitarian; askers will still show up, but I fear some of the most insightful answerers will begin to find it too much like a job.
A bit of whimsy serves to keep it fun. And besides, hypotheticals have been asked before.
posted by orthogonality at 7:53 PM on October 5, 2006
A bit of whimsy serves to keep it fun. And besides, hypotheticals have been asked before.
posted by orthogonality at 7:53 PM on October 5, 2006
The answer is obvious: I would win.
I'm not human, and I wiped out 1000 five year olds by wildly swinging the zombie corpse of another five year old.
posted by loquacious at 7:56 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
I'm not human, and I wiped out 1000 five year olds by wildly swinging the zombie corpse of another five year old.
posted by loquacious at 7:56 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
I swear this is a double, though I can't seem to find the thread. Anyone else remember seeing this before? Or was it all a dream?
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:01 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:01 PM on October 5, 2006
No matter if it is deleted or not, whiners will show up in Metatalk in 3...2...1...
*begs for instant deletion of 'why was this question deleted' threads*
posted by mediareport at 8:07 PM on October 5, 2006
*begs for instant deletion of 'why was this question deleted' threads*
posted by mediareport at 8:07 PM on October 5, 2006
cthulhu would win ... i thought everybody knew that
posted by pyramid termite at 8:13 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 8:13 PM on October 5, 2006
You know, I've been real pissy lately for no good reason. I apologize for my outburst. It was lame of me.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 8:17 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by SeizeTheDay at 8:17 PM on October 5, 2006
What a shame, I didn't type it fast enough to get it in before the thread went poof. For es_de_bah, here's my answer:
I think of it like the game of Risk. The monkeys start in Africa, Asia, and South America. The bears start in Asia and North America, the prime starting spot really.
There are a whole lot of cows, pigs, chickens, horses, and white-tailed deer in North America that the bears get to first. That means lots of Grizzly, Brown and Polar Bears on the move. I don't have much faith in the fighting prowess of the New World monkeys, so the bears would have little trouble taking over South America with maybe some resistance from the surly Howler Monkeys. That would give the bears all of the Americas with not much effort. From there, they can more into Europe, across from Brazil to Western Africa, or into Asia.
On the other front I give the Sloth Bears and Sun Bears a fighting advantage over the Old World monkeys in Southeast Asia. The Orangutans in Borneo and Sumatra would give the Bears a run for their money, but have you ever seen the claws on a Sloth Bear? And the tropical bears would also have backup from Central Asia from the Himalayan Brown Bears and the Asiatic Black Bears and also from Polar Bears crossing the Bering Straights; while the monkeys can only call in lesser ape claw-fodder like Gibbons for reinforcements. (And the Pandas? Either they can re-invent agriculture and Judo, otherwise they are goners, sorry.) Dominance over Southeast Asia gives the bears Australia, the island fortress, ignoring any possibility of a marsupial insurgency. If the bears have North America and Australia, there isn’t much the Monkeys can do to keep them from taking all of Asia.
The African Apes are a powerful force but they will be quickly hemmed in. They will take the entire African continent in no time, but their next move will be more difficult. They could either try to take the fight to South America or head north and keep the bears from getting a foothold in Europe. I give them poor odds of taking on the growing bear army of the South America and even if the monkeys can take all of Europe, they are still fighting on three sides. They will be starved of resources and forced into Madagascar to be slaughtered.
So in the game of world domination, my vote is for the bears.
posted by peeedro at 8:27 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
I think of it like the game of Risk. The monkeys start in Africa, Asia, and South America. The bears start in Asia and North America, the prime starting spot really.
There are a whole lot of cows, pigs, chickens, horses, and white-tailed deer in North America that the bears get to first. That means lots of Grizzly, Brown and Polar Bears on the move. I don't have much faith in the fighting prowess of the New World monkeys, so the bears would have little trouble taking over South America with maybe some resistance from the surly Howler Monkeys. That would give the bears all of the Americas with not much effort. From there, they can more into Europe, across from Brazil to Western Africa, or into Asia.
On the other front I give the Sloth Bears and Sun Bears a fighting advantage over the Old World monkeys in Southeast Asia. The Orangutans in Borneo and Sumatra would give the Bears a run for their money, but have you ever seen the claws on a Sloth Bear? And the tropical bears would also have backup from Central Asia from the Himalayan Brown Bears and the Asiatic Black Bears and also from Polar Bears crossing the Bering Straights; while the monkeys can only call in lesser ape claw-fodder like Gibbons for reinforcements. (And the Pandas? Either they can re-invent agriculture and Judo, otherwise they are goners, sorry.) Dominance over Southeast Asia gives the bears Australia, the island fortress, ignoring any possibility of a marsupial insurgency. If the bears have North America and Australia, there isn’t much the Monkeys can do to keep them from taking all of Asia.
The African Apes are a powerful force but they will be quickly hemmed in. They will take the entire African continent in no time, but their next move will be more difficult. They could either try to take the fight to South America or head north and keep the bears from getting a foothold in Europe. I give them poor odds of taking on the growing bear army of the South America and even if the monkeys can take all of Europe, they are still fighting on three sides. They will be starved of resources and forced into Madagascar to be slaughtered.
So in the game of world domination, my vote is for the bears.
posted by peeedro at 8:27 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
Wait, the 20k-ers have "lowish" user numbers?
posted by interrobang at 8:45 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by interrobang at 8:45 PM on October 5, 2006
Yeah, they've been members for almost two years, some of them.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:50 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:50 PM on October 5, 2006
I wouldn't call 20669 lowish but I certainly think 20419 is.
posted by Carbolic at 8:53 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by Carbolic at 8:53 PM on October 5, 2006
Whoa.
posted by interrobang at 9:02 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by interrobang at 9:02 PM on October 5, 2006
Honestly, can't we have a little fun every now and then?
That's what I said after everyone in the elevator got pissed off at me for yelling "incoming" and letting one rip.
Next time I'll yell 'fire in the hole'
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:10 PM on October 5, 2006
That's what I said after everyone in the elevator got pissed off at me for yelling "incoming" and letting one rip.
Next time I'll yell 'fire in the hole'
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:10 PM on October 5, 2006
Man, we (the legendary-in-our-own-minds 14Kers) are OLD.
Shit.
posted by yhbc at 9:11 PM on October 5, 2006
Shit.
posted by yhbc at 9:11 PM on October 5, 2006
Here's what I want to see...when people who to ask a question, they are asked to input a single sentence of what the question is about...like "I need a restaurant in new york city". That takes them to a search, which says at the top: "Ok, fuckwit, you've got 28 results in AskMe. Are you going to post something covered before that is going to piss off a bunch of AskMe addicted pedants? If so, know that you're going to get a swift kick in the virtual genitalia."
Then, they can choose to go ahead with full warning an deal with the consequences.
If, on the other hand, there are no results for that pre-posting search, they will be told: "Sweet Jeebus, you rock. You're looking for something kind of unique! Now, phrase it with tenderlovingcare and be clear and consise and don't be a weasel. Also, make sure your boyfriend doesn't have a riced-out car before posting."
...
And I'm choked because I only got one response to my question today that anyone with an old console game could answer, yet the AskMe list scrolled me right off. Why have thou forsaken me, AskMe?
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:31 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
Then, they can choose to go ahead with full warning an deal with the consequences.
If, on the other hand, there are no results for that pre-posting search, they will be told: "Sweet Jeebus, you rock. You're looking for something kind of unique! Now, phrase it with tenderlovingcare and be clear and consise and don't be a weasel. Also, make sure your boyfriend doesn't have a riced-out car before posting."
...
And I'm choked because I only got one response to my question today that anyone with an old console game could answer, yet the AskMe list scrolled me right off. Why have thou forsaken me, AskMe?
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:31 PM on October 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
Why have thou forsaken me, AskMe?
I wouldn't worry about it. Wait three days or so, and I'm sure the post will rise again.
posted by gsteff at 9:36 PM on October 5, 2006
I wouldn't worry about it. Wait three days or so, and I'm sure the post will rise again.
posted by gsteff at 9:36 PM on October 5, 2006
Am I missing some precedent here?
Yes. Besides, the correct answer was "raccoons."
posted by LarryC at 10:26 PM on October 5, 2006
Yes. Besides, the correct answer was "raccoons."
posted by LarryC at 10:26 PM on October 5, 2006
Hmm, maybe the guidelines should include something about future relevance and database-storage-worthiness. Might be fun in the moment but how useful is it to store a bear/primate discussion for the next decade. Ok fine, 100 years from now it becomes interesting again in a wow people were weird back then kind of way.
posted by scheptech at 10:39 PM on October 5, 2006
posted by scheptech at 10:39 PM on October 5, 2006
It wasn't always like this. The "how many five year olds could one guy take out" question lived a long and prosperous lifetime with no premature deletions.
Still, I totally agree that these days hypotheticalfilter needs the axe on Ask.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:54 PM on October 5, 2006
Still, I totally agree that these days hypotheticalfilter needs the axe on Ask.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:54 PM on October 5, 2006
Let's not make askMefi too utilitarian; askers will still show up, but I fear some of the most insightful answerers will begin to find it too much like a job.
Agreed, the price of nappies is driving the site.
Man, we (the legendary-in-our-own-minds 14Kers) are OLD.
anyone fancy a game of dominoes ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:08 AM on October 6, 2006
Agreed, the price of nappies is driving the site.
Man, we (the legendary-in-our-own-minds 14Kers) are OLD.
anyone fancy a game of dominoes ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:08 AM on October 6, 2006
The answer to this question, obviously, is that it the question would have survived if it was bears vs zombies or monkeys vs zombies (or bears and monkeys teaming up against the zombies).
posted by antifuse at 3:34 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by antifuse at 3:34 AM on October 6, 2006
Man, we (the legendary-in-our-own-minds 14Kers) are OLD.
OFF MY LAWN!! *shakes cane*
posted by ColdChef at 5:13 AM on October 6, 2006
OFF MY LAWN!! *shakes cane*
posted by ColdChef at 5:13 AM on October 6, 2006
I fear some of the most insightful answerers will begin to find it too much like a job.
How many is "some"? One insightful answerer? Hundreds of insightful answerers? A large majority? A small minority? A significant amount? A negligible number?
For the "number of people who will leave if we don't allow bears vs. monkeys questions" I'm going to put my money on... zero.
posted by Khalad at 5:24 AM on October 6, 2006
How many is "some"? One insightful answerer? Hundreds of insightful answerers? A large majority? A small minority? A significant amount? A negligible number?
For the "number of people who will leave if we don't allow bears vs. monkeys questions" I'm going to put my money on... zero.
posted by Khalad at 5:24 AM on October 6, 2006
AskMe is not for asking questions. It is for puffing out your chest and saying, "Hoom, hom, I am an EXPERT at this, so stand back!" It is impossible to show that you are a real-life expert at questions with no (current) real-life application.
posted by Eideteker at 6:01 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by Eideteker at 6:01 AM on October 6, 2006
See, I work freelance from home, and it's just too free. I need to visit MeFi during the working day to get my fix of mindless drudgery, petty politics, and stupid rules handed down from on high.
So please, let's keep up the no-fun, it's-a-job vibe, otherwise we're going to break my finely-tuned system.
posted by chrismear at 6:16 AM on October 6, 2006
So please, let's keep up the no-fun, it's-a-job vibe, otherwise we're going to break my finely-tuned system.
posted by chrismear at 6:16 AM on October 6, 2006
Wait, the 20k-ers have "lowish" user numbers?
*eyes 14kers warily*
OFF MY LAWN!! *shakes cane*
*reports 7.6ker to police*
posted by cortex at 6:27 AM on October 6, 2006
*eyes 14kers warily*
OFF MY LAWN!! *shakes cane*
*reports 7.6ker to police*
posted by cortex at 6:27 AM on October 6, 2006
What klangklangston said.
Also, 14K is the greatest K ever. Suck it, other-K'ers!
posted by languagehat at 6:48 AM on October 6, 2006
Also, 14K is the greatest K ever. Suck it, other-K'ers!
posted by languagehat at 6:48 AM on October 6, 2006
You know, when SARS does decimate the planet and we look to askMeFi for answers we'll be sorry the question was deleted! What will we do then?
[panics]
posted by clevershark at 7:36 AM on October 6, 2006
[panics]
posted by clevershark at 7:36 AM on October 6, 2006
Meh. 11Kers are totally the best.
posted by clevershark at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by clevershark at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2006
noobs.
posted by crunchland at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by crunchland at 7:38 AM on October 6, 2006
On behalf of the 10k'ers I must disagree with all the Johnny-come-latelies in this thread.
posted by jackiemcghee at 7:51 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by jackiemcghee at 7:51 AM on October 6, 2006
I'd just like to say that peeedro's answer to the bears vs monkeys question looks to be definitive and is probably the last word in hypothetical ursine/simian warfare research.
Also, I'm sure this thread would look longer to me if I didn't have this greasemonkey script that strips out comments from members with user numbers above 5000.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 8:02 AM on October 6, 2006
Also, I'm sure this thread would look longer to me if I didn't have this greasemonkey script that strips out comments from members with user numbers above 5000.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 8:02 AM on October 6, 2006
*shakes head at elitist pre-20Kers*
*smirks smugly at n00b post-25Kers*
posted by brain_drain at 8:38 AM on October 6, 2006
*smirks smugly at n00b post-25Kers*
posted by brain_drain at 8:38 AM on October 6, 2006
Whoo! I just realized I'm not a 25ker!
...story of my life. I'm not a GenXer or a Baby Boomer, either...
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2006
...story of my life. I'm not a GenXer or a Baby Boomer, either...
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2006
As AskMe becomes a repository of all the useful information in the world, slowly, one by one, all the important questions will be answered. When we reach that point, the remaining questions, no matter how inane will be reveal as the only unanswered questions, and the entire human race will devote itself to their resolution. Ladies and gentlemen, as the weight of years presses down on the human race, when we have long since mastered interdimensional travel, transceded this plane of existance, and figured out how they get the Caramilk inside the Caramilk bar, we will be left only with this question, echoing through the vastness of eternity: "Monkey or Bear?".... Monkey or Bear?... ...... .. ...
posted by blue_beetle at 9:49 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by blue_beetle at 9:49 AM on October 6, 2006
p.s Don't trust anyone over 30k.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:50 AM on October 6, 2006
posted by blue_beetle at 9:50 AM on October 6, 2006
blue_beetle: Could this be The Caramilk Secret?
Monkey v.s. Bear: I think LarryC has it. Raccoons are both monkey-like (opposable thumbs) and bear-like. Also, the Finnish word for raccoon, pesukarhu, translates literally as 'wash bear."
If raccoons evolve (sorry, bevets) larger craniums and larger brains to fill them then they will inherit the Earth.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 11:17 AM on October 6, 2006
Monkey v.s. Bear: I think LarryC has it. Raccoons are both monkey-like (opposable thumbs) and bear-like. Also, the Finnish word for raccoon, pesukarhu, translates literally as 'wash bear."
If raccoons evolve (sorry, bevets) larger craniums and larger brains to fill them then they will inherit the Earth.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 11:17 AM on October 6, 2006
*considers buying accounts now for potential future progeny so they will have web cred with this crowd*
posted by onlyconnect at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2006
posted by onlyconnect at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2006
I coulda' been a 14k'er, but I didn't sat through one or two of Matt's open registrations before deciding to chime in. Still, 17k'ers r00L.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:08 AM on October 7, 2006
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:08 AM on October 7, 2006
Blue Beetle: Well, with your spate of bullshit chatty answers in AskMe lately, I suppose that will finally be the confluence between your abilities and the questioners'.
posted by klangklangston at 8:25 AM on October 8, 2006
posted by klangklangston at 8:25 AM on October 8, 2006
You like your cliques, no?
posted by oxford blue at 6:38 PM on October 8, 2006
posted by oxford blue at 6:38 PM on October 8, 2006
"But...But...why was my flying pigs question deleted when that Bears vs. Monkeys was left up????? WTF??"
Why was this question deleted and the one about zombies left up?
posted by mlis at 6:09 PM on October 9, 2006
Why was this question deleted and the one about zombies left up?
posted by mlis at 6:09 PM on October 9, 2006
Why was this question deleted and the one about zombies left up?
Already covered
posted by antifuse at 4:13 AM on October 10, 2006
Already covered
posted by antifuse at 4:13 AM on October 10, 2006
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posted by klangklangston at 7:22 PM on October 5, 2006