how about mefi personals? October 31, 2006 12:01 AM   Subscribe

how about mefi personals?

(question asked partly in jest, partly in possible pursuit of a partner versed in the wonderful logic of mefi)
posted by localhuman to Feature Requests at 12:01 AM (150 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Isn't that what meetups are for?
posted by Pollomacho at 12:14 AM on October 31, 2006


And then when we go to AskMe for relationship advice after a few months, we can all suggest that we dump each other.
posted by gsteff at 12:45 AM on October 31, 2006 [3 favorites]


Meetups are nice, (even though I've yet to go to a Mefi-meet, I have in the past attended BBS meetups), but not everyone can attend, for an one of a number of reasons.

There are, what, 40K users now? Not that large a community to draw from, although it is a bit self-selected, and certainly romance has blossomed here before. A lot of the people, like myself, are already attached, I'd wager, which will cut down the pool considerably.

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but I think Matt has better uses for his time right now.
posted by pjern at 12:48 AM on October 31, 2006


Impersonals, created by the jam, was posted as a project, then on MeFi proper. I think a bunch of MeFites joined then. The site's been down for months, but this post reminded me of its existence, so I checked and it seems to be up again.
posted by booksandlibretti at 1:02 AM on October 31, 2006


Snarky white male ISO extremely patient woman.

No fatties.
posted by aubilenon at 2:17 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


What about mefi hookups? Anonymous sex with nerdy strangers. Well hung male looking for slim, big bottom girl. No stds, plz.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:25 AM on October 31, 2006


Let's not and say we did.
posted by peacay at 2:29 AM on October 31, 2006



Snarky white male ISO


what kind of software is that?
posted by matteo at 2:36 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Only if Mig's daughters read it (i could have been in Lisbon today you know).
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:47 AM on October 31, 2006


After Making a post about The Impersonals to the blue, now-mefite (then lurker) sarahsynonymous made a profile on The Impersonals and then later contacted me when I went to DC for the summer, and we dated…

You got your community weblog in my love life! I got my love life in your community weblog! Two flavors that taste great together.

posted by blasdelf at 4:18 AM on October 31, 2006


what kind of software is that?

Those are legacy systems. We don't support them anymore.
posted by horsewithnoname at 4:25 AM on October 31, 2006


DateMe. It's gotta be.
posted by hangashore at 5:12 AM on October 31, 2006


Would this mean I'd have to give up pr0n?
posted by bardic at 5:22 AM on October 31, 2006


And then when we go to AskMe for relationship advice after a few months, we can all suggest that we dump each other.

And post a coy listing on Jobs for a hitman to take care of the problem.

The ensuing trainwreck will make the news, and hence become newsfilter on the blue; I'll post a song about it on Music; French Fry will tape the Making Of and post the resulting documentary on Projects; and stavros will call it out on the grey (rightly as "so much wankery").
posted by cortex at 5:29 AM on October 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


"Isn't that what meetups are for?"

It's what this MeTa is for.

Hey ladies....
posted by klangklangston at 5:47 AM on October 31, 2006


I went to a hook^H^H^H^Hmeetup once and met someone. It was good.
posted by SpecialK at 6:12 AM on October 31, 2006


Well when you think about it, we all pretty much know each other's political leanings, beliefs, thoughts on family, etc.. (excepting those with little or no posting history). It sort of makes sense that something like that would work. Then again, nobody knows that my Mefi personality has been a ruse for the last five years and I'm really a 75 year-old man living in a trailer in Keokuk, Iowa. Maybe not such a great idea.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:56 AM on October 31, 2006


I've never gotten the whole idea of websites specifically for dating, though I have dated girls I met through message boards.

It seems to me that mefi already has pretty much everything you need to meet someone, if you're interested in that kind of thing. Look to see who is near you, read their posting histories, and you probably have a better idea of what they're like than any dating profile would give you.
posted by empath at 7:06 AM on October 31, 2006


Impersonals says there isn't a guy in my age range within 90 miles of here. That sounds about right. When I expand that out to 120 miles, I find some guy from phalusopolis and a bunch of 35 year old guys looking for 25 year old women.

I think the best way to implement this with a minimum of fuss would be to have some sort of check box in the user profile settings that just said something like "looking" that would turn into a big blinky AVAILABLE image on your userpage. In the meantime, you can always mark them as a "crush" in the relationship/contacts/xfn thingdo.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:14 AM on October 31, 2006


I didn't know about the trailer part KevinSkomsvold but the rest is exactly how I'd pegged you.
posted by Mitheral at 7:33 AM on October 31, 2006




you can always mark them as a "crush" in the relationship/contacts/xfn thingdo

/me checks contacts*

/me realizes he'll die alone and unloved

/me weeps
posted by dobbs at 7:35 AM on October 31, 2006


Did Consumating delete anyone else's profile all by itself? Mine vanished months ago... off into the ether.
posted by dobbs at 7:37 AM on October 31, 2006


Impersonals says there isn't a guy in my age range within 90 miles of here.

Yeah, but you could probably pick up a whole harem of boys on your recent trip out west. Just think of them as unusual souvenirs.
posted by loquacious at 7:41 AM on October 31, 2006


I met a nice boy on irc.metafilter.com and now we're getting married!

Oh the irony!
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:06 AM on October 31, 2006


If consumating had a "desperate and willing to settle" checkbox then it might be useful.
posted by cmonkey at 8:07 AM on October 31, 2006


Dear AskMeOut:

How do I find a body to dispose of?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:20 AM on October 31, 2006


This place IS MefiPersonals. If you're not hooking up, you're not doing it right.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:36 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Will bore you with pedantry and outrage against Bush, if you pay for sushi.
posted by orthogonality at 8:40 AM on October 31, 2006


I'll buy you sushi, orthogonality.
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:55 AM on October 31, 2006


Probably the most effective dating/relationship site I've seen is flickr.

People usually post many pictures of themselves in their photostream - not posed pictures but selected, natural ones of them at their best - with their friends, doing the things they love, etc. The photostream is also a window into their world, their interests, their tastes.

There are also spaces for public interaction (group discussions) as well as semi-private interaction (someone's photostream which is like a small party at someone's home) and fully private, safe interaction (flickrmail) I've lost count of the huge number of people I know of that have met through flickr.
posted by vacapinta at 9:00 AM on October 31, 2006


I'm really uneasy with the idea of us breeding.
posted by jonmc at 9:07 AM on October 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


No stds, plz.

No standards? Perfect...
posted by InfidelZombie at 9:23 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


blasdelf: that's awesome! I always wonder if anyone's actually having any success from the site.
posted by the jam at 9:27 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


This place IS MefiPersonals. If you're not hooking up, you're not doing it right.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:36 AM EST on October 31

Well, yeah, if doing it right is being twenty something and living in NYC. Being forty something in western North Carolina has not led to any mefi/flickr/mecha/consumating/impersonals dates for me. Although I have made some good friends, which is probably more important in the long run. So, much as I would love to see DateMe (in hot pink, with tabs - I think we can all imagine the tabs) for the hell of it or even for the name alone, I suspect it isn't going to break down the A/S/L barrier.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:46 AM on October 31, 2006


Woowoo, Hot pink DateMe. I love it.

But it's not just NYC- I could name couples all over the US (and world).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:02 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Yes yes!! Hot pink DateMe!! It must be so!!
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:05 AM on October 31, 2006


I Just can't be sure Metafilter will still respect me in the morning.
posted by French Fry at 10:18 AM on October 31, 2006


What do you mean "still?"
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:21 AM on October 31, 2006


A/S/L?
posted by Bageena at 10:25 AM on October 31, 2006


...but the rest is exactly how I'd pegged you.

Pun intended?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:25 AM on October 31, 2006


Age/Sex/Location
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:33 AM on October 31, 2006


I'd be willing to add some sort of secret Mefi section (or flag on profiles) on the Impersonals if there was interest (and it was kosher with Matt).
posted by the jam at 10:34 AM on October 31, 2006


I Just can't be sure Metafilter will still respect me in the morning.

Why should it? It dosen't respect me now.
posted by jonmc at 10:39 AM on October 31, 2006


Dear TangFilter:

I never thought it would happen to me. One hot summer day, I was cleaning the neighbor's pool. Sweat glistened off my muscular thighs as I knelt over and adjusted the chlorine levels. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to find the neighbor lady dressed in nothing but a....


goodnewsfortheinsane: "...but the rest is exactly how I'd pegged you.

Pun intended?
"


Couldn't let it pass, could you?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:41 AM on October 31, 2006


Dear TangFilter:

I thought that was the section for the astronauts. I'm so confused....
posted by jonmc at 10:42 AM on October 31, 2006


1) Tabs
2) Tang
3) ...
4) PepsiBlue!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:54 AM on October 31, 2006


This might just be me, but I think attempting to find a suitable partner without being heavily intoxicated is sheer foolishness.
posted by Football Bat at 11:12 AM on October 31, 2006


Hot pink DateMe

#f6c - the colour of ♥♥♥wuvvvvvv♥♥♥....
posted by hangashore at 11:21 AM on October 31, 2006


Well when you think about it, we all pretty much know each other's political leanings, beliefs, thoughts on family, etc..

When I think about it, I only know the stated thoughts and beliefs of the net.personas adopted by various MeFites. I don't assume that any given user actually believes what his or her persona posts about. For all I know, dios is a granola-packing professional shoplifter.

Impersonals says there isn't a guy in my age range within 90 miles of here. That sounds about right. When I expand that out to 120 miles, I find some guy from phalusopolis and a bunch of 35 year old guys looking for 25 year old women.

Impersonals has one woman just outside my age range in my area, and the rest of them within 30 miles are in another country.

And I'm 37 and looking for a woman ten years younger than me. Or younger. Because, frankly, that's important to me. You make it sound like this is detestable.
posted by solid-one-love at 11:30 AM on October 31, 2006


And I'm 37 and looking for a woman ten years younger than me. Or younger.

How's that working for you?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:35 AM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Pretty well, thanks, and I hope to continue dating 25-year-olds well into my 40s. With my youthful looks, I might be able to stretch that into my 50s.
posted by solid-one-love at 11:44 AM on October 31, 2006


For all I know, dios is a granola-packing professional shoplifter.

I doubt it. Granola is granular and tends to spill out of pockets, making it difficult to shoplift.
posted by jonmc at 11:50 AM on October 31, 2006


No one will ever love you.
posted by ND¢ at 12:00 PM on October 31, 2006


Nonsense. Everybody already loves me.
posted by jonmc at 12:04 PM on October 31, 2006


See, I thought he was packing the granola so that it would spill from his pockets while making his getaway, creating a hazard for anyone chasing him. Kind of like a hippy oil slick.
posted by InfidelZombie at 12:06 PM on October 31, 2006


Kind of like a hippy oil slick.

Due to suboptimal hygeine, hippies tend to leave oilslicks naturally, no granola neccessary.
posted by jonmc at 12:11 PM on October 31, 2006


You make it sound like this is detestable.

I think you may be reading a bit into it. Try again.

a bunch of 35 year old guys looking for 25 year old women.

Unless you object to the word "bunch"? Since I am not 25, this translates into "not for me" which is all I was saying. I find the concept of dating to be pretty bizarre anyhow. Out here you just stack wood in your front yard until someone pulls up in a pickup truck to help you stack it, and then you move in together and combine electric blankets (and woodpiles) to save on heating bills. No tagging necessary.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:14 PM on October 31, 2006 [7 favorites]


Well when you think about it, we all pretty much know each other's political leanings, beliefs, thoughts on family, etc..

what about the .gif loving, snark, the-internet-is-lol demographic who don't mind posting a pissing elephant every once in awhile. does this generalization work for them?
posted by Stynxno at 12:27 PM on October 31, 2006


Speaking of the Mefi Contact system, when is someone going to make cool charts/graphs showing how mefites are connected?
posted by vacapinta at 12:51 PM on October 31, 2006


the charts aren't neccessary, vaca. Most of us are connected by monomolecular fibers emanating from our nostrils.
posted by jonmc at 12:58 PM on October 31, 2006


We'd definitely need the <img> tag fixed.

Single Ceiling Cat ISO Pissing Elephant
posted by lekvar at 1:04 PM on October 31, 2006


Nah, I'm not really into elephants.
posted by Ceiling Cat at 1:07 PM on October 31, 2006


vacapinta, melissa may and I were talking about that exact thing today - wishing we could see a tree of mefite connections.
posted by taz at 1:29 PM on October 31, 2006


Hello Dolly!
How about suggesting that certain mefites are a match made in cyberspace? Knowing either of the matchees would of course, not be necessary.
posted by Cranberry at 1:31 PM on October 31, 2006


solid-one-love: "Well when you think about it, we all pretty much know each other's political leanings, beliefs, thoughts on family, etc..

When I think about it, I only know the stated thoughts and beliefs of the net.personas adopted by various MeFites. I don't assume that any given user actually believes what his or her persona posts about. For all I know, dios is a granola-packing professional shoplifter.
"

This was meant tongue-in-cheek but please do, go on.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:35 PM on October 31, 2006


How's that working for you?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero

Hey Nineteen
That's 'Retha Franklin
She don't remember
The Queen of Soul
It's hard times befallen
The sole survivors
She thinks I'm crazy
But I'm just growing old
posted by timeistight at 1:54 PM on October 31, 2006


This was meant tongue-in-cheek but please do, go on.

What more is there to say? People are, more often than not, different online than offline. Assuming that one knows what a person thinks or believes by what they post is foolish.

Tangentially, I kinda get a chuckle at the people who say "we will check your posting history" when they post a job listing at jobs.metafilter.com, too. Because, y'know, the number of wrong answers one gives in AskMe and the number of times one feeds one of Reklaw's trolls and how one feels about Diebold -- or how one purports to feel about Diebold -- is so, so relevant to what kind of Ruby on Rails guru you are, or whateverthefuck.

I'm looking forward to seeing personal ads that say "No Horde Griefers".
posted by solid-one-love at 2:06 PM on October 31, 2006


If I had met my girlfriend first through MeFi, there's no way in hell she would have ever dated me.

My incredibly masculine beard just doesn't pull the same way on the internets.
posted by klangklangston at 2:07 PM on October 31, 2006


Because, y'know, the number of wrong answers one gives in AskMe and the number of times one feeds one of Reklaw's trolls and how one feels about Diebold -- or how one purports to feel about Diebold -- is so, so relevant to what kind of Ruby on Rails guru you are, or whateverthefuck.

You might be missing the point a little, there—the specifics of political beliefs or the comprehensiveness of one's knowledge about bicycle repair probably don't reflect on suitability for hire, but being a complete asshole or (insert other observable behavioral pattern here) might reflict on hirability in general. It's still a bit silly, but not in the way you're suggesting.
posted by cortex at 2:13 PM on October 31, 2006


and god help you if you spell "reflect" wrong
posted by cortex at 2:14 PM on October 31, 2006


Crazy. I just went to the impersonals, did the general search that's on the main page, and mygothlaundry is at the top of the list.

(er...not that I'm hitting on her, and anyway I'm in New York, I'm just saying, it was funny.)
posted by bingo at 2:14 PM on October 31, 2006


You might be missing the point a little, there

Not at all:

but being a complete asshole or (insert other observable behavioral pattern here) might reflict on hirability in general

What I am implying is that being an asshole here doesn't mean you're an asshole; you are adopting the persona of an asshole. I don't think it speaks to hireability/desireability/whatevuhbility at all.

Refusing to hire/date/serve/befriend an asshole/Republican/vegetarian/atheist? Defensible judgments, more or less. Refusing to hire/date/serve/befriend someone who takes on the persona of an asshole/Republican/vegetarian/atheist? Foolish judgment, much less defensible.

If I had met my girlfriend first through MeFi, there's no way in hell she would have ever dated me.

I've had similar sentiments expressed by girlfriends who have later Googled me and found fifteen years of assorted asshattery. And they agree that I'm not the same person or persona.

And god knows I've dated enough women who play a much different role online than they do in the real world.
posted by solid-one-love at 2:35 PM on October 31, 2006


"What I am implying is that being an asshole here doesn't mean you're an asshole; you are adopting the persona of an asshole. I don't think it speaks to hireability/desireability/whatevuhbility at all."

This from someone who loudly proclaims that he's an asshole.
Hamlet III, ii, 239.

"And god knows I've dated enough women who play a much different role online than they do in the real world."

'Wait, you're not the 19-year-old nubile sex goddess your cyberchats promised?'
posted by klangklangston at 3:09 PM on October 31, 2006


being an asshole here doesn't mean you're an asshole

It might not mean you'd be an asshole boyfriend, but it does mean that there is at least someplace in the world where you are, in fact, an asshole.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:15 PM on October 31, 2006 [5 favorites]


for s-o-l's benefit (and that of any perspective employers): I am exactly the same in real life, only less pixilated, or more, depending on how much you've been drinking.
posted by jonmc at 3:30 PM on October 31, 2006


This from someone who loudly proclaims that he's an asshole.

My online persona is, yes. And, shit, man, where's Pot and Kettle when you need them? Your online persona makes mine look like Little Mary Sunshine, and if people generally took online personas at face value, you'd surely have been drinking alone in Vancouver the other week.

Hamlet III, ii, 239.

Except that I'm neither a lady nor protesting too much, nor protesting anything at all, you're completely correct. I bow to your prowess of drawing irrelevant quotes from the classics. Are you going to claim, next, that you'd rather rule in Hell or that the murderer was really an ape?

'Wait, you're not the 19-year-old nubile sex goddess your cyberchats promised?'

Oh, I only wish life was that uncomplicated.

It might not mean you'd be an asshole boyfriend, but it does mean that there is at least someplace in the world where you are, in fact, an asshole.

I remain unconvinced that MeFi, or any other site, is either a community or a place, so I disagree that "there is at least someplace that X", where X is whatever. And I maintain that personas are not, strictly speaking, persons or even reflections on that person. James Spader plays an asshole on Boston Legal; he has adopted a persona in the form of an actor's role. This doesn't make him an asshole, nor does it imply that there is "someplace in the world" where he is, in fact, an asshole. I mean, sure, he might be. He's an actor, so he probably is. But they don't relate.
posted by solid-one-love at 3:30 PM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


I imagine James Spader gets paid quite a bit. What's your motivation?
posted by vacapinta at 3:34 PM on October 31, 2006


Your online persona makes mine look like Little Mary Sunshine,

That's a harsh judgement. I've never met klang (and we've clashed on occasion) but he strikes me as ornery but likable, a good man to drink with.
posted by jonmc at 3:34 PM on October 31, 2006


What I am implying is that being an asshole here doesn't mean you're an asshole; you are adopting the persona of an asshole. I don't think it speaks to hireability/desireability/whatevuhbility at all.

I disagree. I think a propensity to act like an asshole pretty clearly indicates a propensity to act like an asshole, and other variations.

I'm not saying that I'd base my whole hiring decision for a talented individual in a scarce market on their internet attitude, but it may well color my judgement, and the ready availability of a general personality sketch in mefi comments would be a silly thing for a savvy mefi jobmeister to disregard.

I'd also consider things like significant grammar and spelling errors on a resume; sociability in a face-to-face or telephone interview; ability to meet time commitments promptly: all of these things, within the limited context of a job candidacy, will provide only thin insights into the true fundamental character and motives of a given candidate, but you look at them anyway.
posted by cortex at 3:47 PM on October 31, 2006


And I'm 37 and looking for a woman ten years younger than me. Or younger.

How's that working for you?

Okay, SERIOUSLY, 40-year olds STOP MESSAGING ME! SERIOUSLY!
posted by mlis at 3:52 PM on October 31, 2006


I imagine James Spader gets paid quite a bit. What's your motivation?

I imagine that that is not his motivation, since could could, conceivably, be paid just as well to play a respectable family man. My motivation is not relevant, nor is anyone's, really.

That's a harsh judgement.

I calls 'em like I sees 'em. He usually throws the first personal attack -- and did here, predictably -- and I seldom do. In my books, that puts his Asshole Quotient several standard deviations higher than mine. I wouldn't say it's a harsh judgment at all.

For the benefit of potential employers: I, as in me, the meatspace operator of the solid-one-love puppet, enjoy surfing the web at work, like I'm doing now. So you don't want to hire me. If you don't want to hire me because you don't like the way I portray myself on MeFi or how I portrayed myself on Usenet in 1992, you're just an unpowered tool whose brain was wired wrong at birth and I'm better off not putting up with you on a daily basis.

I disagree. I think a propensity to act like an asshole pretty clearly indicates a propensity to act like an asshole, and other variations.

I advise William Fichtner's wife to divorce him because he has apparently built a career on portraying violent rapists. I mean, he has had the option of taking other roles. He has chosen, by some motivation, to play certain characters and to rarely play more likeable characters, as he did in Contact.

"But that's different!" OK, why do people play evil characters in role-playing games? Why do people dress up as serial killers on Hallowe'en? Why do people talk shit about people they are friendly with, and why do we reward this behaviour at work? And so on, and so on.

the ready availability of a general personality sketch in mefi comments would be a silly thing for a savvy mefi jobmeister to disregard

And I disagree, for the reasons I've already stated. I wouldn't consider a person's online persona on a "community" site to be a reflection or 'personality sketch' of a person any more than I would consider their desire to play any other kind of character in any other kind of situation.

Okay, SERIOUSLY, 40-year olds STOP MESSAGING ME! SERIOUSLY!

Online, she knows you're 40. In real life, she only suspects it.
posted by solid-one-love at 4:04 PM on October 31, 2006


I'm better off not putting up with you on a daily basis.

Listen closely, that's the sound of 43953 weeping softly...
posted by jonmc at 4:12 PM on October 31, 2006


also:

"“We are who we pretend to be, so be careful who you pretend to be. ..." - Kurt Vonnegut
posted by jonmc at 4:15 PM on October 31, 2006


I wouldn't consider a person's online persona on a "community" site to be a reflection or 'personality sketch' of a person any more than I would consider their desire to play any other kind of character in any other kind of situation.

A lot of people here aren't playing roles, however, they're just being some variety of themselves. I'm sure there are some people here who only have a handle on MetaFilter to act out some wacky avatar scenario they have going on in their head, but I'd say it's a small minority not the majority, though I may just think that because I spend a lot of time in AskMetaFilter where people are asking questions nominally about their real lives and people are answering them because, in large part, they believe they are helping peple with their real lives.

If someone said, as you have, "hey man this is only an act I put on when I'm on the site" I'm sure there would be a lot fewer people who would want to help them out, give them the benefit of the doubt or generally interact with them. James Spader is an actor who puts on different personas because that's what he's paid to do, which explains why he might act like an asshole if he's not actually an asshole. Dorks surfing the Internet from work don't have that same justification, meaning there has to be some other motive for their wanting to be an asshole on a community site if it's not their job. Maybe it's their hobby? It's that motivation, or question of motivation that comes into play when someone is thinking about the hireability of someone based, in some small part, on their online history.

Maybe for you the online/offline divide is strong and unbreachable, but I think for many people the division is much more fluid and shifting.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:17 PM on October 31, 2006


I advise William Fichtner's wife to divorce him because he has apparently built a career on portraying violent rapists.

You keep making this sort of comparison. I don't buy it. We clearly disagree on the question of whether most people here are dressing up as characters who fundamentally diverge from their meatspace personalities: you seem to think that's the norm, I think the opposite is true. I guess I understand your position, but I think it's incorrect. And since I presume it's vice versa, good enough, sir.
posted by cortex at 4:30 PM on October 31, 2006


Sooo Cortex flips me off a lot...
posted by yodelingisfun at 5:05 PM on October 31, 2006


Just because I flip you off when I'm drunk doesn't mean I'm a surly drunk when I'm not at meetups, lady.

EMPLOY ME
posted by cortex at 5:09 PM on October 31, 2006


EMPLOY ME

OK, but I should probably let you know that I'm a pimp.

Now, [slap] where my money, bitch?! [slap]
posted by jonmc at 5:32 PM on October 31, 2006


A lot of people here aren't playing roles, however, they're just being some variety of themselves.

Oh, for sure. I agree that it's a continuum. But I don't think we can predict with any accuracy where on the continuum someone is, and so it is foolish to draw a conclusion based on a lack of actual information.

You keep making this sort of comparison. I don't buy it.

I gave a few other examples of people playing roles for whatever reason, too. IMHO, I think they're all analogous.

you seem to think that's the norm, I think the opposite is true.

We just have to agree to disagree, I figger.
posted by solid-one-love at 5:49 PM on October 31, 2006


You know for once I agree with solid-one-love, I hate it when people write "I'll read your posting history before you get the job", not because we're all pretending to be other people but because it smells like the kind of tin pot dictator pettiness that makes it so hard to work for people who can't handle having the slightest bit of authority. Now none of you little traffic cops are gonna hire me, good I say, good!

Now, me, I'm married, so I don't need a date, but if the little lady ever leaves me I'm having Skomsvold shaved and brought to my tent, 75 years old and he lives in a trailer? I bet he smells like boiled peas, meeeee-yow!
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:33 PM on October 31, 2006


Ironically I JUST hired a drunk angry guy to flip me off, maybe next time....
posted by yodelingisfun at 6:37 PM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


I would like it entered into the public record that from this day forward I shall be known as a 16 year old blonde cheerleader who smells of hazelnut. Thank you.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:42 PM on October 31, 2006


Ironically I JUST hired a drunk angry guy to flip me off, maybe next time....

You can get PAID to do that? Fuck!
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:48 PM on October 31, 2006


You know, solid-one-love, most of the other people here seem to consider this a community and treat it as such. If you're just here because you think this is a good place to "pretend" to be a big asshole, why don't you go play your jerky internet games somewhere else? By the way, I must compliment you on your online persona--you're a remarkable consistent asshole for someone who is just putting on an act.
posted by gokart4xmas at 6:57 PM on October 31, 2006


You can get PAID to do that? Fuck!

I hear that Ted Nugent even offers a seminar.
posted by gsteff at 7:25 PM on October 31, 2006



You know, solid-one-love, most of the other people here seem to consider this a community and treat it as such.


Yeah, six comments to the blue is sure indicative of participation in the community. Get back to me when you can grow a man's hair, fuckwit.
posted by solid-one-love at 7:27 PM on October 31, 2006


Or a woman's hair. Either works.
posted by solid-one-love at 7:29 PM on October 31, 2006


Get back to me when you can grow a man's hair, fuckwit.

why? are you a collector?
posted by jonmc at 7:33 PM on October 31, 2006


why? are you a collector?

Only of broken hearts and dreams.
posted by solid-one-love at 7:36 PM on October 31, 2006


Only of broken hearts and dreams.

and enemies.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:45 PM on October 31, 2006


*puts away tweezers*

your loss.
posted by jonmc at 7:47 PM on October 31, 2006


posted by solid-one-love I'm 37 and looking for a woman ten years younger than me. Or younger.

So, any nice young MeFites want to date solid-one-love? Anyone? Anyone? Step right up!
posted by fandango_matt at 8:07 PM on October 31, 2006


posted by KevinSkomsvold I would like it entered into the public record that from this day forward I shall be known as a 16 year old blonde cheerleader who smells of hazelnut. Thank you.

Mark Foley, is that you?
posted by fandango_matt at 8:12 PM on October 31, 2006


I am SO sad that I am an ancient 33 right now. It's heartbreaking.
posted by yodelingisfun at 8:12 PM on October 31, 2006


I grok that I post unpopular opinions. I often assert that there's little or no real friendship in online communities and that they really aren't communities in any useful sense, and I support those opinions (to varying degrees of success) with evidence, anecdotes, rhetoric and debate. Claiming that people online very often adopt a different persona than they do in the real world is also an unpopular opinion.

These opinions get people angry. Angry enough to come in and throw around personal attacks with their first response, much in the same way that people attack dios at first blush for his pro-Bush comments.

Enemies? I don't have a single enemy in the world. Lots of friends, though, and none of them are on MeFi, nor on any other site, board or online quasi-place that I frequent or have frequented.

You say 'enemies', I call it a non-sequitur.
posted by solid-one-love at 8:17 PM on October 31, 2006


solid-one-love writes "But I don't think we can predict with any accuracy where on the continuum someone is, and so it is foolish to draw a conclusion based on a lack of actual information."

Members can only judge you on your words. If your an asshole here everyone is going to assume that's how you are in real life because there is no evidence to the contrary.
posted by Mitheral at 8:19 PM on October 31, 2006


Get back to me when you can grow a man's hair, fuckwit.

*golf clap*

What a fascinating performance. I've never seen someone use the Internet to act like a jerk and then pass it off with "Oh, it's just the internet, it's not like we're real people here" before.

Astonishing, really.
posted by mediareport at 8:26 PM on October 31, 2006


I've never seen someone use the Internet to act like a jerk and then pass it off with "Oh, it's just the internet, it's not like we're real people here" before.

You must have missed the thread about a year ago, where I was arguing that online users weren't real people. I have softened that stance somewhat. I am not making that argument; I am drawing a delineation between person and persona.

Or you must be new to the Net in general. I didn't originate this concept, and at one time it was uncontroversial.

Next: I made the effort at one point to avoid responding to personal attacks, after a MeTa thread where we discussed whether or not it was appropriate to escalate personal attacks. I have changed my position on this -- I will happily escalate a flamefest in MeTa, but not in MeFi or AskMe. And I think that it is appropriate to do so, and not "astonishing", "fascinating", or "act[ing] like a jerk" to do so.

I don't see anyone chastising the folks who came in to throw the first punch. Just chastising me. Why's that? Here's a new topic: is hypocrisy endemic to online fora?
posted by solid-one-love at 8:36 PM on October 31, 2006


at one time it was uncontroversial.

Bullshit.
posted by mediareport at 8:37 PM on October 31, 2006


The best thing about this thread is solid-one-love finally admitting what we've known all along: he comes here to be an asshole.
posted by fandango_matt at 8:42 PM on October 31, 2006


Claiming that people online very often adopt a different persona than they do in the real world is also an unpopular opinion.

Dude you might be Mr. Fucking Rodgers on 8 tabs of ecstasy in the real world and we'll never fucking know or care, you're interacting here and your "I often assert that there's little or no real friendship in online communities and that they really aren't communities in any useful sense" is the shuck to end all shucks, it's the intellectual equivilant of tripping over a crack in the sidewalk and shouting "I meant to do that."

Be an asshole or don't, but the assholish behavior and subsequent covering up with "I'm not really like this" and "this isn't a community so who cares" is W-E-A-K.

These opinions get people angry...

Don't flatter yourself chief. More like annoyed, I'd say.

Or you must be new to the Net in general. I didn't originate this concept, and at one time it was uncontroversial.

GOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGG!
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:43 PM on October 31, 2006


Bullshit.

I would suggest that you first read Rheingold's "The Virtual Community: Homesteading on the Electronic Frontier", and work from there.

And pre-WWW, the in the era of Usenet and Fido and so forth, the idea that one's online personality had any relation to one's real-life personality would be puzzling at best and laughable to many.

Bullshit? No, not at all.
posted by solid-one-love at 8:48 PM on October 31, 2006


in the era of Usenet and Fido and so forth, the idea that one's online personality had any relation to one's real-life personality would be puzzling at best and laughable to many

Darling, I cut my teeth on early 90s Usenet, and you are so full of shit it's astonishing you're still able to type.
posted by mediareport at 8:54 PM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]



The best thing about this thread is solid-one-love finally admitting what we've known all along: he comes here to be an asshole.


No, you come here to be an asshole. Me being an asshole is just kind of a byproduct of speaking unpopular opinions and not caring if people don't like it.

Don't flatter yourself chief. More like annoyed, I'd say.

After reading your post, I've got five bucks on "angry".

Darling, I cut my teeth on early 90s Usenet, and you are so full of shit it's astonishing you're still able to type.

You were in some kind of Bizarro Usenet, my friend, because whatever opinion you formed was not based on reality. Early 90s Usenet was the classic era of the online persona.

There's a good bibliography of a number of good essays on the subject here. and anyone with five minutes and the Google-Fu will find many, many more. Your memory of history is flawed.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:01 PM on October 31, 2006


And, yeah, now that I've linked to a bunch of sources, you kinda have to come back with something better than "bullshit" or "full of shit" or "smells like shit" or something otherwise fecund. I've been putting the effort into explaining my assertions all thread.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:04 PM on October 31, 2006


First Usenet post I see of yours is from June, 1994, mediareport. That's not only post-Perpetual-September, it's post-Web. Your personal experience is too narrow to make the claims you're making, and I wouldn't exactly describe it as "early 90s". Darling.

Admittedly, I only got on under my own name two years earlier, but it was pre-AOL and pre-Web. The difference in the culture between 1992 and 1994 is like Germany before and after the Wall fell.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:11 PM on October 31, 2006


posted by solid-one-love Me being an asshole is just kind of a byproduct of speaking unpopular opinions and not caring if people don't like it.

Wait, so you first say you're an asshole, now you say you're not an asshole, you just say things people don't like, and you don't care that they don't like it, all of which you claim is merely your online persona, which you've subsequently admitted is that of an asshole. Help us understand, you poor liitle misunderstood snowflake.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:15 PM on October 31, 2006


Oh, god. I found postings by me from June, 1991. I think I've figured it out: my motivation is addiction.

I have a PayPal account. If I get a thousand bucks, I'll find a new hobby.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:17 PM on October 31, 2006


Help us understand, you poor liitle misunderstood snowflake.

Hell, I don't know anymore either. Pick whatever answer entertains you the most.
posted by solid-one-love at 9:19 PM on October 31, 2006


I love you solid-one-love, I really really do. Mostly because, as I've said before, you have the most ironic user name on mefi, but also because you actually have "I've been on usenet longer than you" dick measuring contests without even a blush or a demure giggle, you are a stupendous preposterous thing of a man and I wish you all the 25 year old girlfriends, wide eyed incredulity that people find you offensive and good health you can handle. If I'm ever in wherever it is you live I'll buy you a beer.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:34 PM on October 31, 2006


Yee-ha, troll-feedin' time at the mee-ta corral agin.

Let's see if I've got this straight: online people aren't real people, but it's very important that they understand you and how credible you are because of how far back your own online experience goes, even though online people aren't real so your own lengthy online experience is ipso facto not that of a real person either, yet somehow it lends weight to some impression you're trying to make on all these unreal people.

Think I've got it now.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:07 PM on October 31, 2006


solid, darling, I was reading long before I ever posted, and I'll say it again, since you've conveniently sidestepped the real issue (funny, just like all the other "waaah! none of this is real!" assholes I've dealt with over the years):

Anyone who says the "delineation between person and persona" was *ever* "uncontroversial" on the Internet is a fucking moron.
posted by mediareport at 10:08 PM on October 31, 2006


And this is why mefi personals will never take off.

*grin*

Too much poo-flinging and people get distracted.
posted by digitalis at 10:15 PM on October 31, 2006


Well, I'd let solid suck my dick, if that helps.
posted by mediareport at 10:17 PM on October 31, 2006


Honestly, judging by the relationship answers in the green I wouldn't let most mefites date wooden stick puppets. But I might date sol. I'm sure he just plays tough on the internets. What he really wants is somebody to smack him around a bit. He's just like a bad puppy who acts out for attention. After a couple of days I'd have him all set.
posted by nixerman at 10:20 PM on October 31, 2006


solid, darling, I was reading long before I ever posted

Of course you were. Still waiting on counter-citations. After you've found your dick, you can go look for those.
posted by solid-one-love at 10:56 PM on October 31, 2006


I'd say after meeting people at a MeetUp that a majority of the active Meta members present themselves the same online as they do in person. That being said, has anyone even looked at the ratio of males to females? The odds of us finding someone through a DateMe or what-have-you are going to be slim to none.

Still, nothing wrong with a little metalove.
posted by Derek at 11:12 PM on October 31, 2006


Well, I'd let solid suck my dick, if that helps.

Seriously. This bears repeating.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FUCK THAT POOR MOTHERFUCKER'S BRAINS OUT BEFORE THEY VANISH UP THEIR OWN ASSHOLE INTO A GALAXY-EATING BLACK HOLE OF EXISTENTIAL ANGST?

No, not me. Look, I'll make cookies. Ok, and I'll do your house chores for a month. Fine, yes, you can have my autographed copy of the nearly complete Hitchhiker's guide. No, you can't have my computer. Look, we're trying to save most of the galaxy here.
posted by loquacious at 12:36 AM on November 1, 2006


Honestly, judging by the relationship answers in the green I wouldn't let most mefites date wooden stick puppets.

Best. Quote. Ever.
posted by digitalis at 12:48 AM on November 1, 2006


I debated saying this, but after reading her response here,
all I can say is, "I love you, jessamyn."
posted by landis at 3:27 AM on November 1, 2006


Still waiting on counter-citations.

Counter-citations to demonstrate that folks who used the playfulness of the Internet to act like assholes while disclaiming responsibility for their actions because "none of this is real" were always controversial online?

Yeah, I'll get right on that.
posted by mediareport at 5:35 AM on November 1, 2006


Early 90s Usenet was the classic era of the online persona.

Do you actually say things like that out loud? Just copying-and-pasting that sentence makes me embarrassed.
posted by jonmc at 6:07 AM on November 1, 2006


Oh, god. I found postings by me from June, 1991.

So you've been at this awhile. I dub thee Asshole Emiritus.
posted by jonmc at 6:09 AM on November 1, 2006


I often assert that there's little or no real friendship in online communities and that they really aren't communities in any useful sense

You can assert it all you like, and you apparently need to believe it, but however true it may have been way, way back in the early '90s, when links had to be carried on sledges through the snow and pounded into place with rocks, it ain't true any more. I've met a fair number of MeFites and corresponded with many more, and my experience says you're wrong.

Don't worry, landis, most of us love jessamyn.
posted by languagehat at 6:20 AM on November 1, 2006 [1 favorite]


languagehat, you're just saying that.

~wink~
posted by cortex at 6:38 AM on November 1, 2006


solid-one-love writes "And pre-WWW, the in the era of Usenet and Fido and so forth, the idea that one's online personality had any relation to one's real-life personality would be puzzling at best and laughable to many.

"Bullshit? No, not at all."


Did you spend all your time on alt.warlord and alt.syntax.tactical or something? My recollection is that the vast majority of people were themselves on UseNet before the September that never ended. Fidonet had a slightly higher wanker level mostly because it had more teenagers, Usenet was protected by the fact that most posters were at least in College.

Your cites talk a lot about roles but they often are talking about MUDs and MOOs where, ya, people played roles not themselves.
posted by Mitheral at 7:50 AM on November 1, 2006


Your cites talk a lot about roles but they often are talking about MUDs and MOOs where, ya, people played roles not themselves.

You don't care a sword and attack rats and giant worms in real life?!!

also, why hasn't anyone pulled out the "in 1991, I was too busy talking to real girls rather than posting on usenet" card yet?
posted by Stynxno at 8:18 AM on November 1, 2006


because, to be honest, in 1991, I was working nights in a supermarket bakery and none of co-workers spoke english, so I didn't talk to anybody.
posted by jonmc at 8:20 AM on November 1, 2006


Hey, rad. I can actually say this with complete honesty: "In 1991, I was too busy making out with real girls rather than posting on usenet."

Though if I had a shell account in 1991 I probably would have missed out on making out with girls.

Then again, some of the girls I was making out with I met at BBS meets.

Ok, then. That was nerdy. Just think about all the nasty modulated bits that have shared your phone lines. WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?
posted by loquacious at 8:45 AM on November 1, 2006


Profile name: MetaFilter
Age: 7
Likes: Long walks on the beach, Pancakes, Exciting Flame-outs
Dislikes: Double posts, Self-linkers, img src (but only recently)
Seeking: Stimulating conversation on topics ranging from NewsFilter to batshitinsane. Occasional gangbangs.
posted by educatedslacker at 8:47 AM on November 1, 2006


posted by solid-one-love Oh, god. I found postings by me from June, 1991.

This explains the lack of social skills and a girlfriend. Back in the early 90s, while we were all making out with girls, solid-one-love was honing his craft on Usenet. Now he's just a fat, lonely asshole, looking for what we all found 15 years ago.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:11 AM on November 1, 2006


In '91 I was making out with Usenet and pretending to be an asshole on girls.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:32 AM on November 1, 2006 [1 favorite]


i'll admit, in 1991, I had no idea what the internet was. I had an 8088 at home and played with apple II's and other early macs in the school computer lab. I kicked ass at Oregon Trail, Number Munchers, and Defender.

I was also 9.
posted by Stynxno at 10:00 AM on November 1, 2006


I often assert that there's little or no real friendship in online communities and that they really aren't communities in any useful sense.

languagehat said: You can assert it all you like, and you apparently need to believe it, but however true it may have been way, way back in the early '90s, when links had to be carried on sledges through the snow and pounded into place with rocks, it ain't true any more. I've met a fair number of MeFites and corresponded with many more, and my experience says you're wrong.

Agreed. And before you pull out the "You Crazy New Yorkers" card, it's not just us; MeFi friends outside of NYC have done some really nice (i.e. "useful") things for me, and I try to do those things for them, too.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:04 AM on November 1, 2006 [1 favorite]


"My online persona is, yes. And, shit, man, where's Pot and Kettle when you need them? Your online persona makes mine look like Little Mary Sunshine, and if people generally took online personas at face value, you'd surely have been drinking alone in Vancouver the other week."

I was an asshole on the internet when I was 14. I'm now 27. I was going to BBS meetups (GREX!) in high school, and after high school did a road trip around the country where I met people from a Nirvana message board I posted on and tripped with 'em under a stormy sky in the Arizona rockies. But I got over being an asshole qua asshole years ago. When I call yer bullshit out, Little Mary Sunshine, it's because it's bullshit that's being defended vehemently by someone who seems to have a little too much invested in being an asshole online. (Hence the folio reference, gee-nee-us).

But hey, man, you're the one who brags of a killfile. I deal with people I get into tussles with and try not to hold grudges because, fuck, what do I care? And it's not because other people aren't real, but because what the fuck do I care? I don't worry about the kids who beat me up in high school or the retards I've worked with over the years. What's the point? I'd prefer to deal with people honestly and understand that I'll always have to deal with pricks, and that one day someone can be a miraculously deluded asshole, and the next be somebody I agree with and support.

Ah, but it's just a "persona." Y'know, I caught James Woods on Fresh Air about a week ago, and he was talking about playing convincing assholes. He said that there's a deep part of him that is an asshole and that his task is always being sympathetic to someone who he'd find repugnant to deal with. This whole-cloth thesis IS bullshit. And for someone who doesn't regard any of this as "real" or a "place," you've missed the central redeeming quality of such naked self-absorbtion— a sense of humor.

Well, that and y' don't seem to be able to take a comment impersonally. For all this talk of the imagined visages, yer still the one who brags about your killfile, ace. When somebody calls me a retard here, I let it roll off my back, and when I haven't been able to there've been two explanations: they're right; or I've gotten too involved in something and wrapped up too much of myself in some comment or another.

But yeah, I'd love to get a beer with most MeFites. I'll never drink with all of 'em, but I feel like MeFi is about the best barroom conversation in the world. Sometimes I get called a prick, sometimes I call someone else a prick, but they're still people. People who may or may not be pricks.

The reason why my girlfriend wouldn't have dated me based on MeFi? I laugh a lot more in person. I realize that sometimes what I say comes across as more a cold "aww, snap," but with a beer in my hand and a smile on my face, I've never had a problem calling the biggest guy in the room a pig-fucking son-of-a-bitch.

And it's too much work for me to imagine NOT being like that while I'm online. But hey, I'm not online griefing either. Maybe I just like living life too much. When I'm on my deathbed, I don't want to be thinking back to a consistent online personality construct— I want to think back on things that I've done (or have been told I've done).

Have fun with dhoyt's persona theory, dude. That worked out great for him. Me? I spend my "persona" money and time on booze, condoms and rock and roll. Arguably just as constructed, but a hell of a lot more fun. Otherwise, LittleMarySunshine would be mine.

And I have a feeling when I move to LA in about eight months, those investments will serve me better than any time I spend trying to be a dick on the internet.

(But Jesus, this is a long comment from someone just procrastinating instead of writing a stupid editorial for work...)
posted by klangklangston at 10:37 AM on November 1, 2006 [1 favorite]


"I kicked ass at Oregon Trail, Number Munchers, and Defender."

Stynxno has cholera. Jonmc has falled off the wagon and broken his leg.
(What, was I the only one who tried to finish the trail alone? Keep that pace gruelling!)
posted by klangklangston at 10:40 AM on November 1, 2006


Sometimes I get called a prick, sometimes I call someone else a prick, but they're still people.

This may be the best one-sentence summary of MetaFilter I've ever seen. Hell, it may be the best one-sentence summary of life I've ever seen.
posted by languagehat at 10:51 AM on November 1, 2006


Fandango, seriously, you've completely proven my point. I'm claiming that people generally act differently online than they do in real life: that our online personas are different from our meatspace personas.

This must be true; there's no way you could have survived to prepubescence otherwise. Assuming you've made it that far. I can't tell.
posted by solid-one-love at 10:57 AM on November 1, 2006


Jonmc has falled off the wagon

Has jonmc ever been on the wagon?

Lose 3 days at Fort Mashswiller. Jonmc found the saloon. Mmm, fresh corn moonshine!

Languagehat's dictionary is too heavy. Broken axle fording river. Quonsar fell in. Fish? Pants.

Lose 5 days - dios derails cart into unidentified immovable object resembling large cairn of glacial boulders - claims object is moveable. Cart is eventually bashed to pieces on immoveable object and is reassembled on the other side.

Smooth trails today - complicated flash games distracting surly natives. Found free camera, cats wedged in scanners. Cats tasted like chicken.

Lose 4 days. Lost camera. Damnit, that was a new card, too. Solid-one-love stops to argue with a turnip, loses. Trail washed out by giant flood of elephant pee - strangely identified when more than one member of company declared familiarity with the taste.
posted by loquacious at 1:46 PM on November 1, 2006 [2 favorites]


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