Can this guy be real? January 17, 2007 9:28 PM   Subscribe

I feel like a jerk even saying this, cuz maybe this is totally legit, but can this guy be real? He has 7 kids and still has time to have sex 12 to 14 times a week? He makes 500-750k? He made straight 'A's all his life without studying? Yet he was always popular? I didn't want to call him out in the thread. Maybe he's totally for real. Maybe he's just slightly exhagerating. Maybe this question is too open ended and everyone will proceed to flame me. (Bring it on flamers!) But.... Thoughts?
posted by serazin to Etiquette/Policy at 9:28 PM (173 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

The question read completely legit to me, but maybe I'm just gullible.
posted by onalark at 9:30 PM on January 17, 2007


I know people like this. They are real. I don't know if anon is real, but I don't see why not.
posted by caddis at 9:32 PM on January 17, 2007


mathowie already showed that he thought it was real by posting it. The poster prolly ain't coming in here to out themselves. So what's the point?
posted by popechunk at 9:34 PM on January 17, 2007


I guess you're right popechunk. Sigh. Since I've failed to brilliantly roust an evil fake postor from his lair, I should probably get back to my chemistry homework.
posted by serazin at 9:39 PM on January 17, 2007


I assume the 500-750k thing was a typo, because no one should have money troubles earning 5000000 (five hundred thousand) per year. But other than that I didn't really see a problem.
posted by shelleycat at 9:41 PM on January 17, 2007


What caddis said. He's not real because you dont know people like him? I do. The 750k a year helps with the 7 kids you know? (think: nanny) On the other hand his writing is a bit run-on and incoherent but that may be more to with his current state....

People can and do have money troubles at every income level. In a sense thats the point of his post: On the surface he's got almost everything other people wish for but...its not making him happy.
posted by vacapinta at 9:44 PM on January 17, 2007


(Bring it on flamers!)

This is improper technique. Back to your chem homework indeed, and chop chop.
posted by cortex at 9:47 PM on January 17, 2007


It made my Spidey senses tingle as well.

Oh, wait. I've just got a cell phone stuck in my asscrack. Nebbermind.
posted by ColdChef at 9:53 PM on January 17, 2007


I was thrown by the 500-750k thing too, mostly because he described it as a "decent" salary. I'm thinking the fellow may not be in the U.S. or Europe, and is referring to his salary in local currency.

As for the rest of it, it sounds perfectly legit to me. Classic gifted high achiever who's brain chemistry has turned on him.
posted by tkolar at 9:54 PM on January 17, 2007


serazin, I actually got the same feeling, and only checked MeTa to see if anyone had started a thread about it.

The 500k-750k income is what sealed it for me, however, I suppose that just makes me cynical since if I simply take shelleycat's assumption that it was a typo and he makes 50-75k, then it sounds much more realistic. And he already said he has ego issues, so I automatically assumed that he was exaggerating a bit.

but vacapinta is right, even if he *does* make that much, he's entitled to be unhappy.
posted by johnstein at 10:01 PM on January 17, 2007


tkolar, oh I hadn't thought about the non-USD currency aspect.

*gets globe out to refresh his memory that there's more than one country in the world*

oops.
posted by johnstein at 10:02 PM on January 17, 2007


With seven kids and bad spending habits, it's certainly possible to bleed money with a "decent" salary. He didn't say he was starving, just that he wasn't really living like most people that pull in 500k.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 10:04 PM on January 17, 2007


With seven kids and sex 12-14 times a week how would you find time to DO anything else?

And the over-eating, too. I kind pictured him shagging the little lady in the laundry room while shoving great fistfulls of popcorn in his maw.
posted by popechunk at 10:05 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sounds plausible to me, but then again, I often have to deal with people who don't believe I'm incredibly hung and so awesome in bed that I've melted people's fillings.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:10 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


...but more importantly,

.... Thoughts?

This is improper technique. Back to your chem homework indeed, indeed!
posted by carsonb at 10:11 PM on January 17, 2007


Fancy cars, extra homes, private schools for seven kids, perhaps a few bad investments, especially leveraged ones, it would not be difficult for somone in his situation to get into financial difficulties. 12 to 14 times per week though? That's newlywed territory.
posted by caddis at 10:11 PM on January 17, 2007


I completely believe it. I know of several such people in area. Phenomenally wealthy, struck it rich because they're effective at managing their hyperactivity, plus got lucky with getting in big on the right thing at the right time, and happen to have bred like rabbits.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:11 PM on January 17, 2007


The solution is obvious, he needs to capitalize on the equity available in his kids. I bet you can get at least 50k for one.
posted by loquacious at 10:12 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


just about anybody can spend far more than their income allows at that level, even in US dollars. All you have to do is think that you make enough not to have to worry about how much you spend, et voila! Financial problems.

I can see why the post might seem suspicious, but as rare as they are (living within the top .05% of all earners in the US, if that's where he's from), people in this situation do exist.
posted by shmegegge at 10:15 PM on January 17, 2007


Actually, my alarm bells rang when I read about his sexual frequency not his income, but more power to him!

Really, whatever aspects of his story are real, I feel for him. I was going to suggest behavioral therapy until I got suspicious.

(Oh, and I finished all my homework and now I'm off to schtup my wife 20 or 30 times before bed.)
posted by serazin at 10:21 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Part of me thought it wasn't real, and part of me thought it was my old slimeball boss that I mentioned elsewhere. :)

About the sex, read again what he said: basically she's doing him a favour. I'm sure that doesn't take much time. It's not like it's a mutual passion, obviously. It's not like those allnighters... anyway, I didn't wanna point out his apparent selfishness on that point, in that thread. It's just another burden to him, and for sure I've seen people like that!
posted by Listener at 10:25 PM on January 17, 2007


serazin, I just favorited your comment, and the sex thing sends off serious alarm bells to me, too, but then I think "you know, if a guy has a wife that likes to have sex as often as I and most of the men I know like to, then that's totally possible." Of course, I don't know anyone whose wife is like that. Of course, I don't know that much about the sex lives of all that many married couples.

So yeah, I say the hell with it. The world is too various and wonderful to assume it ain't possible.
posted by shmegegge at 10:27 PM on January 17, 2007


wait, doing him a favor? Did I misread his statement entirely? He said she was an angel in that regard. Sure that might mean a favor, but it might mean she's an angel because she's as sexually voracious as he is.
posted by shmegegge at 10:28 PM on January 17, 2007


Sure that might mean a favor, but it might mean she's an angel because she's as sexually voracious as he is.

Angels are more often characterized as being...
a) charitable
b) sexually voracious

?
posted by juv3nal at 10:32 PM on January 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


I did not read the question, have only skimmed this thread and took sleeping pills earlier (well nighttime Advil actually) because I had a terrible headache and couldn't relax, so now my brain feels weird and mushy like wet bread. Also I am now up because something I ate has apparently turned to molten lava as it moves through my digestive system. All of that said, I am confident that the question is fake. You have my permission to delete it.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:44 PM on January 17, 2007


Sex 12 to 14 times a year is not unheard of for married couples, though a bit over the top.
posted by maxwelton at 11:14 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


1. What would the point be?

and

2. Who cares?

Regardless of whether it is real or not, it is just a fucking archetype, compulsive achiever has conquered the outside world but he can't stuff that empty hole inside no matter how much he eats. Ho hum.
posted by nanojath at 11:18 PM on January 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Perhaps by "sex" he means "going to the bathroom"? I would guess that I go to the bathroom 12-14 times a week and I do enjoy it, though I am not overcome with an unusual desire to eat afterward - just my normal baseline Escalade-esque appetite.
posted by milkrate at 11:33 PM on January 17, 2007


"Angels are more often characterized as being...
a) charitable
b) sexually voracious

?"

If it's b and they're hot chick angels, I might start going in for that Judeo-Christian ritual worship stuff.
posted by klangklangston at 11:39 PM on January 17, 2007


If Larry Ellison can have financial troubles, a dude making 500-700k can. The fact that he called it just decent seems more indicative of the fact that he's a perfectionist than anything else.
posted by !Jim at 11:45 PM on January 17, 2007


Angels are more often characterized as being...
a) charitable
b) sexually voracious


How completely disingenous.

Here's a question: Is it or is it not possible for a human being to use the term angel to mean "wonderful?"
posted by shmegegge at 11:59 PM on January 17, 2007


i am an angel.
posted by b33j at 12:03 AM on January 18, 2007


and on another note:

is this just tough love, or really really callous?
posted by shmegegge at 12:04 AM on January 18, 2007


The reason I thought it was a typo is that it's totally unstandard to call five million dollars "500k" (or five hundred thousand). I've certainly never heard millions described as hundreds of thousands. I know salaries are normally listed in 'k', where that means times a thousand per year, but it still just doesn't work for me.

I know there is something country specific that happens when you get to billions, although I can't remember exactly how it works, sio if there's also something US-based where millions can be expressed as hundred thousands then I take it all back. I also hadn't thought of different currancy types, and that would work too. The differences in currancy already probably mean my expectations from a US$50k salary and a US$ five million one aren't entirely correct either.

Whatever, the jarring note of the salary can be explained away. The sex thing maybe not so much, but it sounds like the guy is addicted to food already so no reason why he can't be addicted to sex too. There's definitely an emotional need unmet somewhere in there.

(I won't be utterly surpised if he's outed as a fraud, but at the same time it seems true enough to be, well, true too. But then I can be a bit wishy washy at times.)
posted by shelleycat at 12:24 AM on January 18, 2007


something US-based where millions can be expressed as hundred thousands

Or, you know, non-US based and non-NZ based as there are more than two countries in the world.
posted by shelleycat at 1:05 AM on January 18, 2007


Can anonymous post in MeTa? or is it just AskMe? 'cause you'll never get any answers if he can't post here.
posted by kisch mokusch at 1:15 AM on January 18, 2007


Sigh. Since I've failed to brilliantly roust an evil fake postor from his lair, I should probably get back to my chemistry homework.

Oh, right. You study chemistry. wink.
posted by dreamsign at 1:38 AM on January 18, 2007


shellycat: a million is a thousand thousand. 500k is half a million.
posted by markdj at 2:01 AM on January 18, 2007


I'll admit it, it's me. I make 500-750k a year and shag my hot wife 12-14 times per week. I made up the kids thing for sympathy.
posted by Justinian at 2:01 AM on January 18, 2007


If you're getting paid $1000 per service, and you're servicing 12 to 14 women a week, you'll be making about $600k (and if you're married, you might need an angel for a wife).
But seriously, it doesn't seem fake to me.
posted by bunglin jones at 2:09 AM on January 18, 2007


I think the confusion over the 500-750k is happening because it's actually denominated in pennies. I also like to tell people my income in pennies when they ask how much I make.

"How much do you make?"
"Oh, about five million a year"
posted by mullingitover at 2:26 AM on January 18, 2007


I call BS.
posted by fixedgear at 2:29 AM on January 18, 2007


750K is far from outrageous for someone who's built his own business. And if 7 percent of Americans are millionaires, the overwhelmingly American MeFi userbase may contain many thousands of such people. But then again, you don't get rich bitching on blogs...
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 4:22 AM on January 18, 2007


Well, if it is a real question, it is a poorly executed one. The condition could have been easily described without all the meaningless statistics. If it's fake question, then it is simply poorly executed, and the statistics have a WTF ? meaning.
posted by lobstah at 4:56 AM on January 18, 2007


I think the numbers are the thing about it that makes it more likely to be real. The guy's an Engineer. Applying number to everything's probably a deeply ingrained aspect of his personality.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:16 AM on January 18, 2007


Of course the income thing was a typo, he meant millions, and it's obviously Donald Trump. Did no one else notice?
posted by micayetoca at 5:16 AM on January 18, 2007


I kind pictured him shagging the little lady in the laundry room while shoving great fistfulls of popcorn in his maw.

Angels are more often characterized as being... sexually voracious

now my brain feels weird and mushy like wet bread. Also I am now up because something I ate has apparently turned to molten lava as it moves through my digestive system.


Hottest MeTa thread evar!
posted by ND¢ at 5:58 AM on January 18, 2007


I think the best thing about the question is the total lack of perspective on behalf of the asker which I think is very real and perfectly common amongst America's new rich. I know people like this, with their "decent" 500K salaries, who consider their millionaire parents "upper middle class." Give me a fucking brake. If dude wants to snap out of his malaise he should spend some of that cheese on a trip to Africa and volunteer in a hospital or an orphanage. If you're in the Philadelphia area I'll hook you up with a volunteer spot working directly with the homeless.

It's called gratitude, motherfucker, get some.

Oh, and stop trying to spend, eat and fuck your way to happiness, it's obviously not working out so good.

Sorry, I didn't want to post this in the thread but forgive me if I don't give a shit about your midlife crisis, Mr. Anonymous Dude.
posted by The Straightener at 6:07 AM on January 18, 2007 [8 favorites]


I call BS too BUT as far as making that kind of cake and having money troubles... my best friend ( a private banker) sees it all the time. All these rich people living beyond their means.
People making 200K to a million living paycheck to paycheck.
Big house, 100K cars and no common sense.
posted by beccaj at 6:13 AM on January 18, 2007


now my brain feels weird and mushy like wet bread

Bzzzt! No tactile nerve endings in the brain! You're a fraud!
posted by cortex at 6:13 AM on January 18, 2007


Amazing how unwilling people are to believe that there are people in the world who aren't like them and the people they hang out with.
posted by languagehat at 6:18 AM on January 18, 2007 [3 favorites]


And of course someone making 500K a year describes it as a "decent" salary. People making that kind of money don't compare themselves with you, they compare themselves with people making millions a year. And I know this is hard to believe, but the more you make, the more you spend, so yeah, rich people have money problems.
posted by languagehat at 6:20 AM on January 18, 2007


Of course this is plausible. Doesn't anyone else watch Real Housewives of Orange County?

Perhaps I have revealed too much.
posted by amro at 6:21 AM on January 18, 2007


now my brain feels weird and mushy like wet bread
Bzzzt! No tactile nerve endings in the brain! You're a fraud!
cortex, you're just wrong. Clearly, this person has opened his skull and peeled back the dura, and is palpating his brain. I think this is the obvious interpretation. Please give people the benefit of the doubt when there is a plausible explanation besides "such and such is an impostor." Occam's razor, bro.
posted by Mister_A at 6:25 AM on January 18, 2007


Amazing how unwilling people are to believe that there are people in the world who open their skulls and peel back the dura, and palpate their brains more than they and the people they hang out with do. Sheeshkabobs!
posted by ND¢ at 6:27 AM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


spend, eat and fuck your way to happiness.


Bloody career adviser, I knew there was some other option he wasn't mentioning.
posted by micayetoca at 6:36 AM on January 18, 2007


Christ, Mister_A, you're right. I have to stop letting my anti-neurosurgery worldview color my estimations of other people.
posted by cortex at 6:42 AM on January 18, 2007


Based on the number of times he has sex per week, you know it's not me. I'm up in the 20-30 times per week range.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:51 AM on January 18, 2007


What lh said.
posted by OmieWise at 6:58 AM on January 18, 2007


Based on the number of times he has sex per week, you know it's not me. I'm up in the 20-30 times per week range.

with yourself doesnt count.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:10 AM on January 18, 2007


but then again, I often have to deal with people who don't believe I'm incredibly hung

You should meet up with this guy and form a support group.

Yes, that's Justin Schlegel who you might remember from Deadwood Pancackes.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:16 AM on January 18, 2007


Unless you're practicing semen retention techniques, sex more than 3-4 times a week is going to totally drain all your energy.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:18 AM on January 18, 2007


Past age 30, anyways.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:18 AM on January 18, 2007


I feel like a jerk even saying this...

I'd imagine this would've been an ideal impetus to pause and collect your thoughts, reflect for a very brief moment, then walk away from the keyboard. Try it, you'll like it.
posted by prostyle at 7:27 AM on January 18, 2007


The reason I thought it was a typo is that it's totally unstandard to call five million dollars "500k" (or five hundred thousand). I've certainly never heard millions described as hundreds of thousands.

yeah, it's unstandard because it's wrong! He makes half a million to three-quarter million per year. If he had his own business and 7 kids and only made 50-75K he would not call it a decent income - that's a decent income for a single person and an average income for a small family. It would be pretty tight for a big family. He's rich, but not insanely.

The sex could be explained as sort of part of a gold-digger deal, too... i also read 'angel' as doing him a favor (sure, it means "wonderful" but generally in a generous sort of way)
posted by mdn at 7:29 AM on January 18, 2007


I'm pretty jealous of the guy, honestly. I'm a smart, lazy perfectionist who loves food and has occasional mental health problems. I've also ruled out therapy and drugs for probably irrational reasons. But I got crappy grades in school, I only make $30-$40k, and I only get sex 1-2 times a week. At least I don't have the burden of seven kids from three marriages to deal with.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:33 AM on January 18, 2007


Just avoid fluoridated water, and you'll be fine.
posted by atrazine at 7:34 AM on January 18, 2007


Whether he's real or the poster is writing a book and needs to flesh out a character, he seems normal enough in kind, same problems as many just writ large.

Kinda hard to answer though, it's one of those 'here's the problem' and 'here's all the solutions that work for other people but won't for me' posts.

He's taken the trouble to emphatically pre-eliminate solutions proven to work for others, as if he's literally unique somehow. He's 'devout atheist' rather than just 'atheist'. He takes zero medicine, not even aspirin, having apparently lived a charmed life he's never had an infection requiring anitbiotic treatment and unlike regular-issue humans he's man enough to just gut it out he when catches the flu. He lives a generally amp-ed up life in a world of big numbers, grand gestures, and amazing experiences - all driven by himself.

Sounds like basic control-freak-ism that's run it's course, he's found the edge of the world he's able to control and it's making him edgy. Reailty bites, as it were.
posted by scheptech at 7:35 AM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


Unless you're practicing semen retention techniques, sex more than 3-4 times a week is going to totally drain all your energy.

What are you smoking?
posted by caddis at 7:37 AM on January 18, 2007


That does sound a little bit Gen. Jack Ripper there, Burhanistan. Purity of essence, baby!
posted by Mister_A at 7:37 AM on January 18, 2007


No opinion on his legitimacy, but I honestly could hardly read his question because of the enormous blocks of text with no white (green?) space. Oh, for the ability to write in paragraphs...
posted by Robert Angelo at 7:47 AM on January 18, 2007


languagehat wrote...
And of course someone making 500K a year describes it as a "decent" salary.

That has not been my experience, and I have a fairly wide sample set.

The concept of people so wealthy that they have no grasp of society at large is pretty iffy. This fellow owns a company -- he knows what he's paying his employees, and I really doubt that it's 500K/year.

While the word "decent" might be used in conversations with people making similar amounts of money, it's an odd usage for a post to the internet at large.

Regardless, as others have pointed out money is not really his problem either way.
posted by tkolar at 8:06 AM on January 18, 2007


I don't think there is anything inherently implausible about this story, with one exception. He is clearly lying when he says he has been married for 8 years, but still has sex regularly. That is far less likely than the salary or anything else.
posted by dios at 8:08 AM on January 18, 2007


I think we could all learn a lesson from MC Hammer. You can always end up broke no matter how rich you are. (just don't bank on hammer pants.)

I never questioned its authenticity because he sounds exactly like a guy I once knew. He was bipolar and had this disturbingly flat affect. I don't know how else to describe it. He was really intelligent but also hugely narcissistic and pretty toxic to be around, and that's just when he wasn't manic. When reading the post I could picture him writing it and it made me feel queasy.
posted by loiseau at 8:12 AM on January 18, 2007


shmegegge wrote....
is this just tough love, or really really callous?

Little of both, I'd guess. Just because the guy needs a swift kick to the rear doesn't meen ikkyu2 didn't enjoy supplying it.

I wonder if there have ever been studies done on the particular delusion that a person's body is so unique that things that work well for billions of other humans (aspirin, for example) are not applicable to them personally.

I'm guessing it's a mortality thing: if your body is different from everyone else's, then maybe you'll turn out to be the one human who will never die.
posted by tkolar at 8:16 AM on January 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


Sounds perfectly legit to me. In fact, fudge the numbers and it sounds just like me. I won't assume my "condition" is the same as the poster's but success (creatively, socially, financially, professionally, etc.) followed by their extreme opposites (stagnation, misery, impuissance, etc.) pretty much describes my life pre and post age 28.

Unless you're practicing semen retention techniques, sex more than 3-4 times a week is going to totally drain all your energy.

Not for everybody. Many people GET energy from sex and are more "drained" when not getting laid regularly. And "regularly" is different for everyone.
posted by dobbs at 8:17 AM on January 18, 2007


There are circles in Manhattan where 500k-750k is nothing, especially for a business owner (who should be making more according to some) with 7 kids (big expense).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:27 AM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


He's having money troubles because his "angel" of a wife is sticking the $ away for when she dumps his lard ass. It's the only way she puts up with such incessant interruptions. Think of the money, think of the money when you are in he laundry room.

Whatever...

His situation may well be possible, but reads like badly written fiction and (ohmygosh I'm about to disavow the existence of anyone like me) I'd be surprised if the question was, in fact, legitimate.
posted by edgeways at 8:33 AM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


He is clearly lying when he says he has been married for 8 years, but still has sex regularly.

I feel so sorry for people who make jokes like this. I really do.
posted by agregoli at 8:34 AM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


Y'know, just because the responses here aren't in AskMe doesn't mean the OP won't read them; and whatever you think of him personally from the little you know, he's still someone in quite a bit of distress about his life. Mocking him in this thread, for whatever reason, doesn't really seem like it's helping anyone, and probably makes him feel worse. (And not in a potentially productive way, like ikkyu2's answer.)
posted by OmieWise at 8:48 AM on January 18, 2007 [3 favorites]


I agree, OmieWise - it's not like Metafilter is a cuddly community by any means, but this is really nasty for nasty's sake.
posted by agregoli at 8:56 AM on January 18, 2007


who the fuck cares anyway?
posted by matteo at 9:05 AM on January 18, 2007


Well Omie and agregoli, I hate the nasty side of metafilter, so I guess I shouldn't have posted this at all - if for no other reason than that I was unintentionally inviting a bunch of "that fat asshole should go fuck himself" style comments. My hope was to have a conversation about what to do with fake anon posts, but whatever, there's not much useful that can be said about it – I see that now. Popechunk made the point in the 4th comment on this thread that Matt basically deemed this post legit so I probably should have just kept my reservations to myself. In any case, there's no way to know either way.
posted by serazin at 9:05 AM on January 18, 2007


he knows what he's paying his employees, and I really doubt that it's 500K/year.


If he is paying each of his employees the same that he makes a year, that right there might be the source of his economic problems.

Or, as he calls them, "bad decisions."
posted by micayetoca at 9:17 AM on January 18, 2007


You people know nothing of chi.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:20 AM on January 18, 2007


Maybe not, but I know Chi Chi.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:25 AM on January 18, 2007


As much sex as he wants with his hot wife "Angel", owns his own business, 50 employees, half-a-mil-a-year... you guys are missing all the obvious signs:

It's hard out there for a pimp.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:51 AM on January 18, 2007 [4 favorites]


well, the fedora and bling budget alone would be murder.
posted by jonmc at 9:57 AM on January 18, 2007


i agree with omie
posted by sgt.serenity at 11:14 AM on January 18, 2007


Y'know, just because the responses here aren't in AskMe doesn't mean the OP won't read them; and whatever you think of him personally from the little you know, he's still someone in quite a bit of distress about his life. Mocking him in this thread, for whatever reason, doesn't really seem like it's helping anyone, and probably makes him feel worse. (And not in a potentially productive way, like ikkyu2's answer.)
posted by OmieWise at 8:48 AM PST on January 18


His complaints are fucking stupid because anyone who makes half a mil a year can just go buy a jet ski and jet ski his troubles away. I am not joking; I honestly think that the jet ski is the cure for all depression and anxiety. So in conclusion, he should buy me a jet ski and I will show him what he has been missing.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:31 AM on January 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


Well, this is definitely the place for that kind of request. Anyone else want the OP to add you to his growing list of kids?
posted by micayetoca at 11:33 AM on January 18, 2007


Yes, please, can we close this? Ruthlessly mocking another community member simply for having the gall to be having problems with his life is incredibly mean-spirited and nasty. And while I don't think serazin meant for the thread to turn out that way, it has. (Which should be noted by people tempted to post similar threads in the future.)
posted by occhiblu at 11:35 AM on January 18, 2007


i agree with omie

I agree with the sarge.
posted by languagehat at 11:36 AM on January 18, 2007


The concept of people so wealthy that they have no grasp of society at large is pretty iffy.

You apparently have never watch My Super Sweet 16.
posted by drezdn at 11:41 AM on January 18, 2007


Or paid any attention to the Bush family.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:47 AM on January 18, 2007


There are idiots at every strata of society. This gentlemen is not one of them.
posted by tkolar at 11:48 AM on January 18, 2007


Ruthlessly mocking another community member simply for having the gall to be having problems with his life is incredibly mean-spirited and nasty.

No. we're mocking him because he manages to make more money than most of us ever will and still manages to whine about it.
posted by jonmc at 11:52 AM on January 18, 2007


we're mocking him because he manages to make more money than most of us ever will and still manages to whine about it.

He's "whining" on the portion of the site specifically designed for people to ask for help. It's just atrociously ugly for people to be complaining here about someone asking for help on AskMe. That's what it's there for.
posted by occhiblu at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2007


occhi, sometimes the best 'help,' you can give somebody is to say 'you've got it better than 99.99% of the human race. snap out of it.'
posted by jonmc at 11:59 AM on January 18, 2007


I totally agree. So people who want to say that should go say that in the thread. They should not be making fat jokes about the guy and speculating about his wife's sexual urges here.
posted by occhiblu at 12:01 PM on January 18, 2007


jonmc wrote...

No. we're mocking him because he manages to make more money than most of us ever will and still manages to whine about it.


Ah, "If I only had more money all of my problems would be solved." The perpetual whine of the perpetual underclass.

See, we can do economic snobbery both ways here...
posted by tkolar at 12:02 PM on January 18, 2007


Ah, "If I only had more money all of my problems would be solved." The perpetual whine of the perpetual underclass.

Not at all. Rich people have problems, too. But if you make $750k/yr and still manage to have money troubles, I don't know what to tell you.
posted by jonmc at 12:08 PM on January 18, 2007


750K is far from outrageous for someone who's built his own business.

Yes it is, considering it's a 50-person business, unless it's in a very specialized field. The U.S. may have a significant amount of millionaires, but all that means is that they have $1m+ in assets. It's certainly possible to achieve that goal over time on a good-not-great salary through wise investing and reasonable frugality. Many millionaires also inherit their money or make it through a windfall (e.g. sale of a business). People who make that money year over year are few and far between.
posted by mkultra at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2007


mkultra: the OP said the his 'income' was 500k-750k, not his net worth which means either he is indeed super-wealthy, or he's putting us on.
posted by jonmc at 12:15 PM on January 18, 2007


See, we can do economic snobbery both ways here...

Yes, but making fun of poor people is bad sprtsmanship--it's kicking someone when she's down. Rich people can afford earplugs.
posted by dame at 12:17 PM on January 18, 2007


watched
posted by drezdn at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2007


jonmc- Sorry, I wasn't clear on my point, which is that I think it's a strong indication of B.S. People who live at that level (in terms of both income and responsibility) tend not to have time to hang around MeFi.
posted by mkultra at 12:28 PM on January 18, 2007


He reminds me of the guy who wanted to dump his loving wife because she wouldn't (couldn't?) have more children and he wanted more, as his adult kids had turned out unsatisfactory. I've been looking for that askme and its accompanying meta thread on and off all day, though, and I can't find it (I have no searchmefi-fu) so all I'm going on is a memory. Still, the voice seems eerily familiar - very similar phrasing and long disjointed paragraphs.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:32 PM on January 18, 2007


mkultra, I hang around MeFi. This place is only for people who make less than 500k? I wish y'all had told me that sooner.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:32 PM on January 18, 2007


no stick around, Johnny. But you gotta spring for the hookers and blow.
posted by jonmc at 12:35 PM on January 18, 2007


*revs Ferrari*
posted by Mister_A at 12:37 PM on January 18, 2007


mgl, here.
posted by OmieWise at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2007


Actually, but for the particulars, he might have been writing about me. A brief bio would probably make me read as fairly successful by most standards, too (nowhere near this poster's level on any front, but certainly beyond the point where I would expect any sympathy). It hasn't made me happy. And more of the same isn't likely to make the difference, either. Judging someone for not being emotionally satisfied by the superficial trappings of success is equally superficial.

This man's complaint isn't that he doesn't have enough money, or sex, or success - he isn't whining about what he has. He clearly states that he has it good, but is still so depressed that he's beginning to have trouble holding on to what he has. He admits that he's been making mistakes because of his depression and feelings of being overwhelmed, so pointing out that he should be able to make it on what he has is exactly missing the point.

I can empathize.

On the other hand, since he took medication, counseling, and spirituality off the table from the get-go, I'm not entirely sure what he expected to accomplish with his "question." Which is the primary reason I would never have posted this to AskMe, myself. Better to confess here, where the sting of the mocking, unfettered by the strict AskMe code of limiting responses by my own artificial constraints, might actually provide a dose of harsh truth.

/not the OP
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:56 PM on January 18, 2007


"Actually, but for the particulars, he might have been writing about me."

You mean the money and the sex, right?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:04 PM on January 18, 2007


I agree with Omie too, and as I commented last week, I think it's really fucking lame to mock someone's askme question just because you can.

It'd be one thing if all the comments in this thread were stricly conjecture on whether this guy is real or a troll. (I'm not entirely convinced he is real. If he is, my guess is personality disorder, or bizarrely unchecked compulsivitiy. But whatever.)

But if he IS real, it's not constructive to mock his problems. And people of all backgrounds have problems. As Biggie Smalls said, mo money mo problems.

He asked for our help. Would that we all had nothing worse to worry about than what we were going to name our freakin' cats.
posted by veronica sawyer at 1:07 PM on January 18, 2007


Let's just say... the numbers don't add up the same, and leave it at that.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:07 PM on January 18, 2007


I'm naming my cat 'anonymous.'
posted by jonmc at 1:09 PM on January 18, 2007


I'm naming my cat "jonmc."
posted by Kwine at 1:45 PM on January 18, 2007


Hundreds Of Hand-Drawn Turkeys!
posted by Dizzy at 1:55 PM on January 18, 2007


...it's not like Metafilter is a cuddly community by any means, but this is really nasty for nasty's sake.
posted by agregoli at 8:56 AM PST on January 18


who the fuck cares anyway?
posted by matteo at 9:05 AM PST on January 18


I do. I can normally walk away from the occasional nasty outburst here but really, it sounds as if the anonymous poster is in a good deal of pain - none of this shit is helping anyone and reflects badly on the community. Shame on you.
posted by ceri richard at 1:59 PM on January 18, 2007


Not good: when people assume the biochemistry causes the mental effects rather than it is not a homeostasis between them, that can in fact be changed without gross chemical intervention. I wish the "try meds" people would stay out of the "I don't want meds" threads just like I stay out of the "Which AD should I try first" threads.
posted by Listener at 2:23 PM on January 18, 2007


This guy wasn't looking for answers. He was looking to brag.

"I make a comfortable living, have a wife who I love and share a passionate relationship with, and have enjoyed the challenge of creating and growing a successful business, but..."

But instead we got a laundry list of stuff straight out of the High School Dreamer's Guide to Being a Rich Dude. It just doesn't ring true.
posted by maxwelton at 2:29 PM on January 18, 2007


You people are unfuckingbelievable.
posted by Roach at 2:44 PM on January 18, 2007


I wish the "try meds" people would stay out of the "I don't want meds" threads just like I stay out of the "Which AD should I try first" threads.

Not going to happen. Too many of us "try meds" people were formerly "I don't want meds" people. A major event in many of our lives was when we finally internalized that we didn't *have* to be miserable, we were just choosing to stay depressed by ignoring obvious and well proved alternatives.

I, for one, intend to keep letting people know loud and clear that they have a choice not to continue being depressed.
posted by tkolar at 2:47 PM on January 18, 2007


tkolar writes "I, for one, intend to keep letting people know loud and clear that they have a choice not to continue being depressed."

I'm all for that, but keep in mind that choosing not to take meds and choosing to stay depressed are not the same thing. You've bruted about the notion of "chemical imbalance" to explain depression, but there's very little evidence to support that as the etiology of depression. It essentially boils down to marketing language on the part of the medication companies.

My job is helping people to get better from all sorts of mental illnesses, and I know that some people are helped by meds, and some aren't. Some people are helped by therapy, and some aren't. The numbers in studies come out to be about the same for each set. I'm certainly not suggesting to anyone that they change what works for them or that they stop talking about what works for them, but I do think that it's always worth keeping in mind that just because something worked for you doesn't make it THE thing, it just makes it YOUR thing. People should know that YOUR thing worked for you so they know that that thing is out there, but they should still be left plenty of room to come to their own conclusions about what they need. (Of course that may well be medications.)
posted by OmieWise at 2:58 PM on January 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


BREAKING NEWS: Material success doesn't buy happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's stupid to justify mocking someone who's reached out for help just because he makes more money and gets more sex than you do. Lost, depressed people come from all backgrounds. This is like a kindergarten-level principle.

I'll leave you with the words of the man who said it best, the late great B.I.G.
posted by granted at 3:02 PM on January 18, 2007


occhi, sometimes the best 'help,' you can give somebody is to say 'you've got it better than 99.99% of the human race. snap out of it.'

Completely and 100% disagree. the results of telling someone this are:

1) he still feels exactly as bad
2) he feels worse because on top of his original problem, he now has a huge guilt trip about how lucky and ungrateful he is
3) he feels even more hopeless about his (very real) problem because you've belittled it and told him it's not a real problem

Seriously, "money doesn't buy happiness" is a cliche for a reason. because it's FUCKING TRUE.

Money, success, sex, all these things can be nice for a while. But they ultimately are not what makes you happy. The tragedy of some people is that they think that by accumulating more money, more success, more whatever, they'll finally get there. it's like shopping in country that doesn't except your currency. You can have a million dollars or a billion or a trillion, and you can keep getting more and more hoping they'll give you what you want, they just don't take dollars, period.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:09 PM on January 18, 2007


["accept" your currency]
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:09 PM on January 18, 2007


Not good: when people assume the biochemistry causes the mental effects rather than it is not a homeostasis between them, that can in fact be changed without gross chemical intervention

which thread do the "try English" people go to?
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:11 PM on January 18, 2007


"It's stupid to justify mocking someone who's reached out for help just because he makes more money and gets more sex than you do."

I agree with you, and kinda sorta said as much above, but... I think there's also some legitimacy to questioning the poster's motives in making sure we know that he makes more money and gets more sex than we do. If the money and sex aren't relevant to his happiness, then going into great detail about same just seems like pointless bragging, and evidentally doesn't endear him to everyone.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on January 18, 2007


IRFH, I don't think money and sex are irrelevant to his happiness. One's circumstances are very relevant to one's mental state. I simply object to the line of thought that goes: he has so much money that he should be satisfied/content/happy, and if he isn't, it's his own fucking fault, and if it's his own fucking fault, he's fair game for the vultures.

So, yeah, I think his life situation was worth bringing up just for contextual purposes if nothing else. Which isn't to say he wasn't bragging, but all told I think that's pretty forgivable.
posted by granted at 3:45 PM on January 18, 2007



I'm all for that, but keep in mind that choosing not to take meds and choosing to stay depressed are not the same thing.

Choosing to write off any potential solution without trying it is choosing to stay depressed. If you've tried everything and it didn't work, then fine -- you're fucked, your depression is not voluntary. But as long as there are plausible things to try and you're coming up with reasons not to try them, you're choosing to stay depressed.

You've bruted about the notion of "chemical imbalance" to explain depression

Actually I didn't, as I don't understand the topic well enough to posit that sort of detail. I did say (and will stand by) that depression is a brain chemistry thing, and that any and all solutions to it will have to affect brain chemicals one way or another. Exercise, meditation, diet, therapy, and anti-depressants are all ways to do that.

...they should still be left plenty of room to come to their own conclusions about what they need.

As if any of us have the ability to force a solution upon an anonymous stranger on the internet?
posted by tkolar at 3:49 PM on January 18, 2007


It'd make all the difference ff they guy had written it differently, naturally.

"I'm in my 30s, married with kids, making good money, and feel like I should be happy with what I have—but I'm not. Here's what I've tried..."

He could have painted the picture without coming off as, in IRFH's description, a braggart. That he didn't have that restraint is tacky, maybe, but so long as we're not committing to a full-on torches-and-pitchfork job on a confirmed spoofer, it's not doing a damn bit of good to anyone to jump on him, whoever he is. Benefit of the doubt, not very small portion of the benefit of the doubt while also mocking weight and sexuality and so on.
posted by cortex at 3:54 PM on January 18, 2007


Omiewise: My job is helping people to get better from all sorts of mental illnesses . . . I do think that it's always worth keeping in mind that just because something worked for you doesn't make it THE thing, it just makes it YOUR thing. People should know that YOUR thing worked for you so they know that that thing is out there, but they should still be left plenty of room to come to their own conclusions about what they need.

I think that people ask for help on their terms. It's not like that was a person who wasn't aware of medication. In my experience, having it shoved at me made me LESS likely to try it. Having my requests disrespected made me think LESS of any solutions offered by those who couldn't give basic respect.

tkolar: I did say (and will stand by) that depression is a brain chemistry thing, and that any and all solutions to it will have to affect brain chemicals one way or another. Exercise, meditation, diet, therapy, and anti-depressants are all ways to do that.

So, you reduce it to chemicals, and then push the solution that worked for you because it worked for you: benighted. It just makes you chemical-reductionists look like kooks.
posted by Listener at 4:21 PM on January 18, 2007


Some mental illnesses, such as OCD, can be marked by pressured speech and writing, so I wouldn't mark this guy down as fake (or undeserving) just because of the style of his post. Quite the opposite.
posted by footnote at 4:56 PM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


if you make $750k/yr and still manage to have money troubles, I don't know what to tell you.

Then don't say anything.

It's stupid to justify mocking someone who's reached out for help just because he makes more money and gets more sex than you do. Lost, depressed people come from all backgrounds. This is like a kindergarten-level principle.


Just wanted to repeat that because it's so true.
posted by languagehat at 5:03 PM on January 18, 2007


So, you reduce it to chemicals, and then push the solution that worked for you because it worked for you: benighted. It just makes you chemical-reductionists look like kooks.

Yup, us people who are stuck in a purely physical reality often come off that way. On the other hand, the asker went out of his way to stress atheism and an engineering background, so he likely shares the same view.
posted by tkolar at 5:06 PM on January 18, 2007


I don't think this guy's bragging, and even if he is, why are people so threatened by it? Who cares? It seemed to me more like he was bound and determined to list things and put all of his thoughts down, in an almost obsessive way - not bragging. I could almost see him pacing back and forth and back and forth, stopping to write his thoughts down as they occured to him, when I read his post.

He uses sex as a temporary escape, much in the same way that he uses food, or even money. A lot of people seem to be really annoyed with his "bragging" about how much money or sex he has, yet no one is annoyed with or feels threatened by how much food he says he eats. He seems to use both sex and food as a way to numb himself, and may very well be addicted to both, but everyone's focusing on the sex, and some people are downright hostile about it. You all need a brisk rogering.
posted by iconomy at 5:27 PM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


The question was a fictional thought experiment, along the following lines:

"What if I wrote an anonymous question in which the questioner claimed all the trappings of a successful life (lots of money, lots of great sex, lots of professional success) but claimed to be deeply unhappy? What would the MeFites advise?"

Consider the nature of the complaints:

-- He hates his wife 1% of the time. (Who doesn't hate their spouse 1% of the time?)
-- He feels like his job is perpetually on the brink of disaster. (Who, in any job of real consequence, doesn't feel on the brink of disaster all the time?)
-- He feels like he and his family spend too much money, despite making 750K a year. (Every rich family spends a lot of money.)

The question is bogus. It's a fun creative writing experiment.
posted by jayder at 5:29 PM on January 18, 2007


All of you idiots who think he's talking about the money and sex angle to brag seem to forget that he FUCKING POSTED ANONYMOUSLY.

Bunch of cut-rate, knee-jerk, jealous fucking monday-morning psychologists in this thread.

There are a few of you who's opinion I respected prior to reading this thread that I'm just AMAZED by.
posted by Roach at 5:29 PM on January 18, 2007


And so many of you sound so SURE of yourself.

Against the entire spirit of AskMeFi. Fucking jackals.
posted by Roach at 5:31 PM on January 18, 2007


Roach, all questions of propriety aside, this isn't AskMeFi.
posted by cortex at 5:44 PM on January 18, 2007


Metatalk: You all need a brisk rogering.
posted by moonbird at 5:46 PM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


I have many leather-bound books and my office smells of rich mahogany.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:53 PM on January 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think we've all learned a simple lesson here, as we do in so many metatalk threads: Some things are bad to do, and we should not do them. What things, you ask? You know...those things. Naughty things. Things the Republicans want to take away from us, even in the privacy of our own homes. And that's why I won't stand for anonymous! If he's not really rich, he's a liar. If he is rich, then he's probably a Republican, and he wants to take my naughty things away. You can have my naughty things over my cold, dead, body, anonymous!
posted by Kwine at 6:42 PM on January 18, 2007


all questions of propriety aside, this isn't AskMeFi.

Giving people the (apparently completely valid, given that this thread is still open) idea that if they do post to AskMe, they're fair game to be attacked in MeTa, does affect AskMe. This thread would sure as hell give me pause about posting any single fucking question to AskMe, and it makes me pretty determined never to post anonymously and thus leave myself unable to defend myself from the mean-spirited nasty behind-the-back attacks that would be allowed in MeTa.

If we allow people to ask for help on one part of the site, we cannot use another part of the site to attack them for doing so. This thread is a complete violation of the trust that that anonymous posters should have with Matt, and with the community.

The guy asked for help. He did not impugn anyone; he did not break any guidelines; he did come back and harass anyone who tried to help him. He used the site as it is supposed to be used. And here we are, saying that because he mentioned his salary and his sex life when asking for help with his life in general, we're allowed to mock him anyway. This entire thread sucks.
posted by occhiblu at 6:44 PM on January 18, 2007 [5 favorites]


Well, I've certainly learned a valuable lesson! I will NEVER post such an open-ended and open-to-bashing style question in MeTa again. I wish I could take it back. Whether or not I believe anon is real, I think fatphobia, meanspirited talk, and holier-than-though superiority is just sad.
posted by serazin at 6:47 PM on January 18, 2007


I agree with occhiblu. And with Roach, although his delivery leaves something to be desired.
posted by iconomy at 6:54 PM on January 18, 2007


P.S. To be clear, I'm really, really sorry I posted this. I mean it.
posted by serazin at 7:01 PM on January 18, 2007


I believe you! You had a question about a post and you brought it here instead of posting it in the thread, which is what you're supposed to do. No problem. You obviously didn't see how ugly this was going to turn. Lesson learned.

But I think we need to establish that anon questions have been screened already by either admin and let it go at that in the future though, because unless an anon outs themselves there's no way for them to participate in the callouts, and that sucks. It would be nice if either Matt or Jessamyn weighed in on this.
posted by iconomy at 7:15 PM on January 18, 2007


So you'd pause before asking an anonymous question because you wouldn't be able to defend yourself? That makes no sense. Why would you care what people said?

Frankly, I don't care one way or the other about this dude's question, I read it as fake and went on with my life. However, the reactions of some of you folk to the comments in this thread is pretty interesting. There is almost no way a thread questioning the sincerity of a question which laments life in the fast lane, posted by an anonymous person wealthier than all but 40 or 50 users (statistically) of this community, is going to end well.
posted by maxwelton at 8:05 PM on January 18, 2007


shellycat: a million is a thousand thousand. 500k is half a million.

Gah! how did I get that one wrong? Now you all know why I'm studying biology instead of maths, I suck at numbers.

So I take it all back. Just pretend I was never in this thread.
posted by shelleycat at 8:19 PM on January 18, 2007



Perhaps we should be talking about why American business culture rewards manic personalities. The guy's sex life is his own affair.
posted by bad grammar at 9:44 PM on January 18, 2007


tkolar, you missed omiewise's answer, and line of work. I am an atheist science-lover too, but reducing the human mind to chemical causation and then evangelizing to people who already said they don't want it is just so born-again. You just don't get it, do you.
posted by Listener at 10:29 PM on January 18, 2007


The thread in question is a microcosm of the internet itself: nobody really knows what's real and what isn't. It's like living in a really, really boring David Lynch flick. I figured this out when I was fifteen. Accept it. Love it. Go fuck your wife while shovelling clodhoppers down your gullet. Whatever.
posted by The God Complex at 11:32 PM on January 18, 2007


lot of hostility there, roach.
posted by j at 12:00 AM on January 19, 2007


Two men talking. One says "My wife's an angel" "You're lucky", replies the other, "mine's still alive"

*Ducks*
posted by essexjan at 3:32 AM on January 19, 2007


Whether he's real or the poster is writing a book and needs to flesh out a character,

OH MY GOD, HE'S TOM WOLFE!
posted by shmegegge at 4:26 AM on January 19, 2007


What occhiblu said. Why is this repellent thread still here? Matt closes down perfectly inoffensive threads because he decides "there's nothing more to say" or "this is about done," and he leaves this shitfest?
posted by languagehat at 6:16 AM on January 19, 2007


Ever since Matt had to change diapers, shitfests don't scare him so much.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:32 AM on January 19, 2007


i am charlotte simmons
posted by exlotuseater at 7:35 AM on January 19, 2007


^ Tom Wolfe, while a dapper gent, is clueless.
posted by exlotuseater at 7:35 AM on January 19, 2007


I agree that this thread is bad. Whether the whole story is true or not, and I have no reason to believe it was not, here is someone reaching out for help in a personal crisis. Then in steps the MeFi Encyclopedia Brown crowd who with no information other than intuition can tell us everything about a poster, their life, their veracity, all from reading a single post. Amazing.
posted by caddis at 8:24 AM on January 19, 2007


Metafilter: cut-rate, knee-jerk, jealous fucking monday-morning psychologists
posted by Pacheco at 8:27 AM on January 19, 2007


Unless that thread has been markedly cleaned up, I think he's been treated very respectfully - there is advice, sympathy, people telling their own stories. And this metatalk thread is about an anonymous poster, so I thought of it more as an abstract question, ie, a curiosity about whether having 7 kids, sex twice a day, and an annual income of over a half mil, is evidence of fiction. I responded above without considering the individual issues of mr anonymous, just addressing the likelihood of his given particulars.

The guy is a classic case to almost an uncanny degree, and the extremes of his descriptions make the whole thing even harder to believe. He probably makes 10x as much money as the average mefite, and probably has sex about 10x as often - people are going to notice that. On top of that, he rejects the classic answers before they're even given (therapy, meds, spirituality), which makes the whole thing kind of feel like a bizarre puzzle. But on the other hand, these things are cliches because they happen, and the extreme nature of his life is probably further evidence of a bipolar scenario.

Basically, the askme thread seems to be going fine, and while this thread may have some snark in it, I really don't see it as a noticable deviation from our usual light-hearted bitchiness.
posted by mdn at 8:43 AM on January 19, 2007


You don't seem to grasp that this thread does not exist in some separate universe from AskMe; while it's certainly conceivable that the anonymous questioner will never find it, it's equally possible that he will, and I don't think he would regard it as an example of "light-hearted bitchiness." Fuck him, you say? Well, that's one approach. Another is:

Giving people the (apparently completely valid, given that this thread is still open) idea that if they do post to AskMe, they're fair game to be attacked in MeTa, does affect AskMe. This thread would sure as hell give me pause about posting any single fucking question to AskMe, and it makes me pretty determined never to post anonymously and thus leave myself unable to defend myself from the mean-spirited nasty behind-the-back attacks that would be allowed in MeTa.

posted by languagehat at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Listener wrote...
tkolar, you missed omiewise's answer, and line of work.

Umm, your original beef was with my response to Omiewise.

I am an atheist science-lover too, but reducing the human mind to chemical causation and then evangelizing to people who already said they don't want it is just so born-again.

Born-again evangelism....hmm, wouldn't that be the fastest growing movement in the United States?

It's almost as if repeatedly and consistently telling humans that there is hope and providing public personal testimony about it was an effective way to change minds and win converts.

You just don't get it, do you.

That you find the evangelization a great big turn-off? Yep, got it. Don't care much, I'm afraid. I would rather 100 people be annoyed than one person with depression have to live one more day with it.
posted by tkolar at 9:05 AM on January 19, 2007


languagehat: "This thread would sure as hell give me pause about posting any single fucking question to AskMe, and it makes me pretty determined never to post anonymously and thus leave myself unable to defend myself from the mean-spirited nasty behind-the-back attacks that would be allowed in MeTa."

You know, I think for me personally, it would work the other way around.

I'm a very sensitive person. I find it very difficult to cope with the kind of assumptions that are made in really personal AskMe threads. When I posted anonymously I took those assumptions to heart far less than when I have posted under my usual identity. It was frustrating to not be able to easily defend myself; but also, sometimes I think it's better not to jump to constantly defend myself or correct false assumptions, so being limited by the anonymous cover was a good thing. It kept me from feeling hurt.

If it is necessary, there is always the option of another poster or a moderator posting a response for you.

Not to say that this thread is good or bad -- just saying that I'd rather have it be about me under anonymity than something that is much closer to the real person with real feelings.
posted by loiseau at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2007


For 5 beans, the anon poster can set up a sock puppet and defend himself all he wants if he so chooses. The are plusses and minuses to doing so.

Although I think this thread bootleg, I am not so sure that it matters that the OP can see the questioning of his authenticity or the calling out of his way of life. I think it helps him to evaluate the quality of the answers on AskMe that he receives. Knowing that this is not a community of his peers or one that can readily relate to his problem would make the answers have less credibility or certainly put them in context. I would rather know this is what the community thought about me and my post than to not know I was subject to ridicule.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:18 AM on January 19, 2007


That you find the evangelization a great big turn-off?

No, that it is uncool to force yourself on people. Yes, I know you don't care. That your apparent belief that your way is logical and "true" because you reduce it to physical is ridiculous leap of faith and identical to the JW's who don't understand "Do not disturb" posted by the doorbell.
posted by Listener at 1:53 PM on January 19, 2007


I like the ducks. More ducks please!
posted by flabdablet at 2:28 PM on January 19, 2007


MeTa
posted by caddis at 2:36 PM on January 19, 2007


I'll close this, folks can discuss the meta issue in the subsequent thread.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:08 PM on January 19, 2007


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