1500 Anonyme strong January 28, 2007 1:09 AM   Subscribe

Our most troubled of AskMe users, Anonymous, notches up 1500 questions.
posted by Effigy2000 to MetaFilter-Related at 1:09 AM (40 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

So uh... what do we do? Congratulate him/her or get them a gift voucher for a really great therapist?

Either way, here's to 1500 more always entertaining questions!
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:15 AM on January 28, 2007


And no answers. Freeloader!
posted by null terminated at 1:36 AM on January 28, 2007


It's things like this that are gonna cost you your gold star, Effigy. After all, crediting all these questions to a single person would mean (a) we have in our midst a new World Record for Multiple Personality Disorder and (b) a lot of folks are going to be pissed when they realize somebody's found a way around the "two week" rule. And 1500 anonymous AskMes among 48,110 members ain't all that much. In fact, I'd say we still have a lot of work ahead of us. Have YOU submitted an anonymous yet?

Congratulations on the betrothment, E2K. Does she have a sister who's even more nearsighted? And when is the next episode of the Adventures of Agent Howie?
posted by wendell at 1:44 AM on January 28, 2007


We obviously need to join Anonymous Anonymous.
posted by jonmc at 5:00 AM on January 28, 2007 [2 favorites]


I was going to post an anonymous question about a skin condition on my, well...in any case, the idea that Matt and Jessamyn would know would be too much, so I'll just keep it to myself.
posted by maxwelton at 5:22 AM on January 28, 2007


Help me Hive Mind: How can I approach the administrators of my favorite web site for a threesome without revealing my identity? As usual there's
posted by grouse at 5:27 AM on January 28, 2007 [3 favorites]


Help me Hive Mind: How can I approach the administrators of my favorite web site for a threesome without revealing my identity? As usual there's

I thought we decided not to discuss Boing Boing here.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:23 AM on January 28, 2007


Help me Hive Mind: How can I approach the administrators of my favorite web site for a threesome without revealing my identity? As usual there's Matt and Jessamyn need
posted by null terminated at 6:27 AM on January 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Anonymous, what an asshole.
posted by The Deej at 7:39 AM on January 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


coming soon by anonymous:


- my husband is a serial killer and insists on keeping severed human heads in our freezer, what's the most eco friendly and least unsanitary way to warp them?

- what's the best lubricant to ram a 42-inches LCD HDTV up my ass?

- my roommate fell asleep 13 days ago on the couch and apparently hasn't woken up yet: the mild stench of putrefaction is annoying and scented candles aren't really helping: should I buy some Febreeze or simply call the cops?

- in a freaky string of mishaps, my teenage daughter has blown up the house: should I ground her now in the trailer we're taken refuge in or should I wait until we eventually buy another house?
posted by matteo at 9:14 AM on January 28, 2007 [2 favorites]


...what's the most eco friendly and least unsanitary way to warp them?

Your husband is warped. Ask him.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:25 AM on January 28, 2007


The real question here is: which one of you is Anonymous?
posted by champthom at 10:34 AM on January 28, 2007


i saw we pool our pennies and help anonymous buy himself a real name
posted by pyramid termite at 10:37 AM on January 28, 2007


"I am Anonymous!"

(Followed by a succession of MeFites standing forward and announcing, "I am Anonymous!")
posted by Afroblanco at 10:44 AM on January 28, 2007


There's a little bit of Anonymous in all of us.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:52 AM on January 28, 2007


*Stands up, ramrod straight, and announces*

"Yes! Afroblanco is Anonymous!"
posted by Kattullus at 11:04 AM on January 28, 2007


I'm Anonymous, and so is my wife.
posted by cortex at 11:27 AM on January 28, 2007


Isn't "anonymous" a little pompous?
posted by maxwelton at 12:03 PM on January 28, 2007


I'm Anonymous, and so is my wife.

is she frosting a cake with a paper knife?
posted by jonmc at 12:14 PM on January 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hey congrats Anonymous. Thanks for all your questions about your lecherous boss, your premature ejaculation, problems about your nipples, questions about your horrible spouse, personal moral issues regarding your mom who is evading taxes on her fancy goldfish farm, your daughter the prostitute, your boyfriend who wants to quit his job to join the WWE, your girlfriend who may or may not be a stripper, your wife who may or may not be cheating on you with your mistress' son who is trying out for WWE.

We all got problems, you've just got the most, Anonymous. We'll try to help with some answers. Cheers to 1500, baby. You don't look a day past 1225.
posted by jerseygirl at 12:47 PM on January 28, 2007


Spartacus has been strangely silent.

Also, anonymoose has asked 35 questions, the most sensative being about Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

And I can't believe nobody's paid the five bucks for the username PompousAss yet.
posted by wendell at 1:28 PM on January 28, 2007


Anonymous: "I'd like to sleep with my boss's wife and then kill her with an icicle. I'm pretty sure she's interested, because whenever I've met her at Christmas parties, she always makes a point of saying 'Merry Christmas', which to me indicates a deep primordial longing. I'm thinking a mixtape of Latin love songs would be the best possible way to make this happen, but there's a problem: I don't know any Latin love songs! Help me out, guys."

Anonymous's question is met with much derision, the harshest of which are reserved for his choice of Mix-Tape Romantic Overture.

Sadly, just as our would-be-murderer, Anonymous, is about to have a change of heart--crushed as he is under a deluge of snark--our goodly neighbourhood moderator steps in, with the smallest of fonts, and instructs the following:


Jessamyn: Try to keep the answers to what Latin lovesongs would be appropriate to woo the guys' boss's wife.
posted by The God Complex at 1:32 PM on January 28, 2007


Are all of Anonymous' contacts people who've used the alias before, or mainly just fans of the body of work?
posted by carsonb at 2:17 PM on January 28, 2007


And I can't believe nobody's paid the five bucks for the username PompousAss yet.

It's a good one, but I decided long ago that if I were to get a sock puppet, it would have to be Your Mom.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:26 PM on January 28, 2007


Are all of Anonymous' contacts people who've used the alias before, or mainly just fans of the body of work?

Lots of people like to track Anonymous threads. I think my favorite, though, is when every answer that seems like it could be a "Best Answer" in an Anonymous thread is favorited by the same person. This always makes me suspect that this person is, in fact, the Anonymous answer (who else would systematically favorite all the useful answers in a thread?).

Word to the wise: I'm watching you!
posted by The God Complex at 2:30 PM on January 28, 2007


I think everyone still agrees that we're better off with Anonypants doing the asking rather than the answering.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:15 PM on January 28, 2007


Hey, Anonymous says hi. :)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:16 PM on January 28, 2007


The list of most-used tags gives a really interesting picture of what people feel shy about. Is there a way to see how it looks beyond the top 10?
posted by escabeche at 4:45 PM on January 28, 2007


i say we pool our pennies and help anonymous buy himself a real name

I really and truly read that as "pool our penises." Perhaps more sleep is necessary.
posted by occhiblu at 4:47 PM on January 28, 2007


i saw we pool our pennies and help anonymous buy himself a real name

I misread that as: "i saw we pool our penises and help anonymous buy himself a real name." I'm all for it!
posted by ericb at 4:50 PM on January 28, 2007


err, on preview, what occhiblu just said!!!
posted by ericb at 4:51 PM on January 28, 2007


Come on guys -- I think a 'circle-jerk' is in store!!!
posted by ericb at 4:51 PM on January 28, 2007


I'm not swimming in any pool full of - - uh, pennies.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:54 PM on January 28, 2007


Are all of Anonymous' contacts people who've used the alias before, or mainly just fans of the body of work?

I've never asked an anon question. I'm just amused by the human trainwreck that is AnonAsk, and I figured the easiest way to track it was adding that username as a contact.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:58 PM on January 28, 2007


Ha! I'm so glad to know it wasn't just me.
posted by occhiblu at 5:04 PM on January 28, 2007


It's a good one, but I decided long ago that if I were to get a sock puppet, it would have to be Your Mom.

I've been waiting for someone to take bendadly.
posted by eriko at 6:45 PM on January 28, 2007


keep your smelly penny to yourself.
posted by exlotuseater at 7:29 PM on January 28, 2007


And I thought the bucket of cocks was bad...
posted by wendell at 8:20 PM on January 28, 2007


... but then you decided you liked it?
posted by dreamsign at 1:32 AM on January 29, 2007


...but a pool of penises is WORSE, screamdign.
posted by wendell at 8:06 PM on January 29, 2007


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