MPDSEA: The fact is, even attention that isn't "crude" can still be highly sexualized, and in many contexts many women find this completely unwanted. If a man approaches a woman in a professional context and expresses obvious, non-professional interest, the woman may quite justifiably feel degraded, since she can recognize that she is being viewed as a sexual person (object, even) in a context in which she is trying to project a professional person.
drjimmy11: But it's relevant because movie stars are like attractive women in that they make a lot of people feel bitter, insecure and inferior, to the point where they'll make up any convoluted excuse to justify treating them shittily.
MPDSEA: If, on the other hand, you're saying that attractive women are obligated to accept more unwanted sexual advances due to the fact that they are attractive, then I strongly disagree.
It's unfortunate as well that you're so quick to disregard the "professional" enclave that women have worked so hard to try to create. Yes, the distinction is artificial, but it is important for there to be areas of life where women and men can together pursue professional, academic, and political goals as equals. Traditional sexual roles are not conducive to such an environment, and many men unfortunately have trouble viewing a woman as both a sexual being and a competent professional peer. The best interim solution is to discourage sexual advances in certain realms.
It's true that women and men often form sexual relationships with coworkers, and if you're happy making people feel uncomfortable and marginalized just because you think they're hot and might be willing to hook up with you, then I suppose not much of what I have to say is going to be meaningful to you.
I would at least ask, though, that before you make overtly sexual advances on a coworker you try to develop enough of your relationship that when the advance does come it will seem more like "you seem like a great person" and less like "I like your tits."
It's shocking that you scoff at the idea that unwanted sexual advances might be damaging and humiliating.
Yes, the distinction is artificial, but it is important for there to be areas of life where women and men can together pursue professional, academic, and political goals as equals.
scody: This, of course, A) presumes that the only women who receive unwanted advances are those who look like models and movie stars, and B) they deserve said advances (even if they make women uncomfortable, angry, frightened, humiliated, etc.), because it's naturally the fair price to pay for magically getting to "mate" with anyone they like (a situation which automatically and necessarily flows from the aforementioned state of looking like a model or movie star).
But you don't have to be exceptionally attractive to be subject to frequent come-ons. I've got a few good features, I can clean up tolerably well, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself any more than average-looking at best.
myeviltwin: hincandenza: I respectfully suggest that you ask some actual women about the kinds of unwanted advances they typically encounter. You may be inclined to revise your theory afterward.
dersins: You've never eaten at the French Laundry, have you?
No, this would be the cost of dining there every day.
We do try to understand what's going on inside your heads and figure out what makes women tick, so it's always nice if you return the courtesy.
For all their pop psych silliness, the "Mars/Venus" type books do stress one very important point: we as genders are a little different in ways beyond the merely physical, and that each of us should try to understand and respect how others operate, and expect the same courtsey in return.