Tell me jokes! May 23, 2007 1:57 PM   Subscribe

What's your favorite simile about dumb people? Is this seriously not ChatFilter? It's a subjective question with a link in the post to a Google search with a ton of answers to choose from.
posted by 0xFCAF to Etiquette/Policy at 1:57 PM (69 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

It still kind of baffles me how some of you people insist on policing AskMe when you don't get even one cent of all the click ads thereupon. What kind of false currency are you trading in that makes it worth your while?
posted by Burhanistan at 2:05 PM on May 23, 2007




All the animals come out on Ask Metafilter- self-linkers, chatters, cat namers, blog namers, warez peddlers, amiriters. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the internets. I go all over. I visit the blue, the gray, I even visit music. I don't care. Don't make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won't even look at projects. Don't make no difference to me.
posted by ND¢ at 2:12 PM on May 23, 2007 [13 favorites]


OK, Tom Joad, so noted. But if it makes any difference, mine is for a research project.
posted by luser at 2:15 PM on May 23, 2007


Fill in the blank: "I'm in yr _____, ____ing up yr ____." I've heard various phrases to refer to stupid comments. Googling brings up interesting simple or inanimate objects such as a sugar beet, tapeworm and dirty sock. (I've always used domicile, defenestrate, and doorknob for some reason...) I'm looking for the ultimate funny comparison!
posted by googly at 2:15 PM on May 23, 2007


Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the internets.

Each night when I log off the site, I have to clean the cum off the keyboard. Some nights, I clean off the blood.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:17 PM on May 23, 2007 [10 favorites]


No, *I* care less about this then anyone else who posts in this thread. I care so little, I will write a long comment explaining all the reasons I don't care, and I will suggest that people who do care are wasting their time. Plus, they have no lives- they're just dumb internet nerds! I will include specific examples of the things they do that make them internet nerds. I will be witty and snarky and I will get dozens of favorites. I will become known for how little I care. Soon, people will take the things I say and put them over pictures of cats, and the whole internet will LOL at how little I care. So, really. I care less then anyone else in this thread. No one else in this thread cares less about this then I do. You can all go home now.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:17 PM on May 23, 2007 [13 favorites]


ThePinkSuperhero wins the derail portion of the thread. Which is currently all of it.
posted by 0xFCAF at 2:21 PM on May 23, 2007


Oh, man, I am so bent out of shape on this and so many other matters. It is an outrage. How dare they! Gripe, gripe, gripe. Groan, groan, groan. Rant, rant, rant. Mumble, mumble, mumble.
posted by y2karl at 2:23 PM on May 23, 2007


y2karl just made a sarcastic comment about outrage. I think my irony meter just exploded.
posted by GuyZero at 2:30 PM on May 23, 2007


It always happens—the flags come in after the metatalk post.

It seems kind of lame and chatty, now that I see it. Language-y "help me find a word for x" threads seem a bit less shamelessly chatty than some things, but that might just be my personal opinion. (And I certainly don't see much of a problem, for example, with luser's query linked by NDcent.)

Jess is out of the office for the afternoon, so AskMe is getting a little less love than it normally would. I'm not sure how she or Matt'd feel about this question, so I'll just let it stand for now and we'll weather the storm together, like so many Bickles in the jar called life, yeah?

Look at it this way. A man makes a post, you know? And that question - I mean, like that - That becomes what he is. You know, like - You ask a thing and that's what you are. Like I've been a relationship counselor for thirteen years. Ten years at night. I still don't have my own girlfriend. You know why? Because I don't want to. That must be what I want. To be on the night shift fixin' somebody else's relationship. You understand? I mean, you become - You make an askme, you become the askme. One guy posts from Brooklyn. One guy posts from Sutton Place. You got a lawyer. Another guy's a doctor. Another guy breaks up. Another guy gets married. Cats are declawed, y'know? I envy you, your high user number. Go on, get laid, post drunk. Ask anything. You got no choice, anyway. I mean, we're all banned. More or less, ya know.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:33 PM on May 23, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'm with ya, 0xFCAF. I think what people are trying to say with the derails here is "flag it and move on." Which is funny, now that I think about it, because adding noise here instead of just moving on is exactly the opposite of what they seem to be asking you to do.
posted by vytae at 2:33 PM on May 23, 2007


Chatfilter has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In the blue, in the green, the gray, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's chatty man.
posted by buriednexttoyou at 2:37 PM on May 23, 2007


If only we had some system by which we could alert the admins of the site that the post is noise or breaking the guidelines. This would probably keep us from posting silly little MeTa threads.

A man can dream.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:38 PM on May 23, 2007


Dear AxMe: I’m considering declawing my cat and turning my newborn into a vegan. What would these actions make me dumber than?
posted by found missing at 2:40 PM on May 23, 2007


I flagged it earlier in the day, moved on, and waited. Posted this once I saw anon questions being posted (which means at least some mod is awake). So yea, I know how that works, but thanks for the snark Citrus.

Unfortunately for you guys, I will not be flaming-out in this thread if the question stands or people make fun of the half-assed call-out. Hopefully we can descend in to total apathetic chaos as I am enjoying it so far.
posted by 0xFCAF at 2:41 PM on May 23, 2007


I | Chatfilter.
posted by psmealey at 2:42 PM on May 23, 2007


I flagged it earlier in the day, moved on, and waited. Posted this once I saw anon questions being posted (which means at least some mod is awake). So yea, I know how that works, but thanks for the snark Citrus.

So you flagged it. And action was not taken. And you knew that an admin was awake and probably saw your flag.

So you decided to make a MeTa post... why?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:45 PM on May 23, 2007


By the way, if you put a fake website in your user profile, it will only help creeps like this one.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:48 PM on May 23, 2007


So you decided to make a MeTa post... why?

To try and understand why something which he sees as obvious chatfilter has not been deleted.
posted by vacapinta at 2:49 PM on May 23, 2007


Looks like you were pretty much the only one to flag it prior to this post, 0xFCAF.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:49 PM on May 23, 2007


So you decided to make a MeTa post... why?

Since the question is still around, either a) ChatFilter does not mean what I think it means or b) the admins did, in fact, not see it. Hence the squiggly thing in the post indicating that there is a question.

Burhanistan - thanks for pointing that out, my friend actually registered it and there used to be content there, but it expired. Removed it.
posted by 0xFCAF at 2:49 PM on May 23, 2007


Glad to help. Aloha to all and everyone.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:52 PM on May 23, 2007


This is my reasoning on the issue: it had not been deleted because no admin deleted it (Yeah, I know, "duh.") You'd have to ask the admins for their reasoning on that.

Going with what cortex said, I would wager it was not deleted because nobody else flagged it, and since nobody else flagged it I guess nobody else had a problem with it. Admins generally delete things that are heavily flagged.

That's just my theory, though.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:54 PM on May 23, 2007


ND¢, are you talkin' to me? you must be talkin' to me cause there's no one else here...
posted by jonmc at 2:58 PM on May 23, 2007


Looks like you were pretty much the only one to flag it prior to this post, 0xFCAF.

Really? I flagged the hell out of it about three hours ago. Flagged it so hard something something.
posted by gleuschk at 3:03 PM on May 23, 2007


Hence the convenient "pretty much" qualifier to cover my ass on explicit assertions made while distracted by background dayjobbing. Heh. But, yes: no storm of flags in the admin console, prior to the post; it didn't catch my attention.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:06 PM on May 23, 2007


In the AskMe thread, I posted the one-word comment 'Chatfilter,' which has since been deleted. If I posted 'He has the IQ of a chatfilter,' or 'Dumb as a box of chatfilters,' would those comments also be deleted?
posted by box at 3:09 PM on May 23, 2007


box, it's thread-crapping. Even AskMe threads that might get nuked shouldn't get crapped in.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:11 PM on May 23, 2007


Did you ever see what a flag can do to a woman's derail? Did you ever see what it can do to her chatfilter?
posted by Bookhouse at 3:21 PM on May 23, 2007


It still kind of baffles me how some of you people insist on policing AskMe when you don't get even one cent of all the click ads thereupon. What kind of false currency are you trading in that makes it worth your while?
posted by Burhanistan at 5:05 PM on May 23 [+]
[!]


Is that a rhetorical question, or are you one of those people who confuse value with money?

More explicitly, I think it's the notion that the site shouldn't degenerate into what it's explicitly not, since what it explicitly is has value (even if there's no check cut to the community members).

As for why the MeTa thread, probably for the reasons above: to try to understand the admin reasoning.
posted by Tuwa at 3:22 PM on May 23, 2007


Dumb as a box of chatfilters

lol
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:50 PM on May 23, 2007


psmealey : I | Chatfilter.

You pipe chatfilter? That's pretty fucked up. Is that some kind of threat or something? Like I knife double posts, or I baseball bat misspellings?

You have a lot of anger issues.





Yes, I know.
posted by quin at 3:52 PM on May 23, 2007 [2 favorites]


I flagged it earlier in the day, moved on, and waited. Posted this once I saw anon questions being posted (which means at least some mod is awake).

"moved on"- I do not think you understand what that phrase means.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:05 PM on May 23, 2007


"What kind of false currency are you trading in that makes it worth your while?"

Woofie, or whatever that shit note with Doctorow's pic on it is.

"No, *I* care less about this then anyone else who posts in this thread. I care so little, I will write a long comment explaining all the reasons I don't care, and I will suggest that people who do care are wasting their time."

Who cares? I don't care! A horse's ass is better than yours!

"box, it's thread-crapping. Even AskMe threads that might get nuked shouldn't get crapped in."


Umm... Sorry about that then... But, so, like, if I crap in the thread and comment here, I don't have to go and flag it as bullshit chatfilter, right? Because that'll be implied? I find the flagger to have an intollerable lag pretty often...
posted by klangklangston at 4:37 PM on May 23, 2007


Who cares? I don't care! A horse's ass is better than yours!

Remind me never to take you to Aqueduct.
posted by jonmc at 4:41 PM on May 23, 2007


The best MeFi lesson I've learned has been that complaining about a thread either being deleted or not having been deleted is just a bad maneuver, as demonstrated by my own clusterfuck. Mefi moderation is not a democracy, it's an oligarchy, and frankly, I'm fine with it that way: otherwise, we'd have Wikipedafilter, and God, would that suck. The combined tastes of cortex, mathowie and jessamyn usually result in much signal and low noise.
posted by WCityMike at 5:07 PM on May 23, 2007


That wasn't a pipe, quin. That was a heart from the side.
posted by psmealey at 5:11 PM on May 23, 2007


Here, have a tissue, gleuschk, to clean up that something something.
posted by deborah at 5:33 PM on May 23, 2007


MetaTalk... shit; I'm still only in MetaTalk... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the blue. When I was home after my first login, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the blue. I'm here a week now... waiting for a post... getting softer; every minute I stay in the gray, I get weaker, and every minute cortex squats in the moderator's box, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around, the gray got a little browner.
posted by languagehat at 5:38 PM on May 23, 2007 [3 favorites]


i tend to see chatfilter as totally undefinable, by now. there are some very clear definitions of it in the guidelines, but it is the most softly moderated of the violations (I use softly to mean "with varying levels of discretion" because it seems to be the violation that requires the most case-by-case attention to diagnose and treat) and it simply isn't possible to get a hard explanation for any given case. they all start with "well, it might be, but it seemed more like [x] to me, so..."

this is the way of the mefi. love it or leave it or something.
posted by shmegegge at 5:49 PM on May 23, 2007


Jess is out of the office for the afternoon, so AskMe is getting a little less love than it normally would.

Hi I'm back from the doctor! Unless we add a new guideline that specifically disincludes "Name my X' or "I'm trying to think of a word that means ______" questions like these will continue to show up. I don't care for them much myself but cortex is right, only one person flagged it before this thread popped up.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:59 PM on May 23, 2007


MetaFilter: I'm God's chatty man.
posted by YamwotIam at 6:07 PM on May 23, 2007


only one person flagged it before this thread popped up.

Is that meant to explain why the thread hadn't been deleted at the time this MeTa was posted, or is that meant to imply that flags which follow (and possibly result from) a MeTa are given less weight?
posted by cribcage at 6:19 PM on May 23, 2007


is that meant to imply that flags which follow (and possibly result from) a MeTa are given less weight?

I have it on good authority that this is the case.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 6:33 PM on May 23, 2007


Once again, I seriously object to the use of flags as the main indicator of whether or not a post, or comment, should be axed. Use some discretion and axe stuff without the need for full consensus. This isn't a democracy. And if you make a couple mistakes here and there, and you will, man up, say that you agree it was a mistake or that you felt that it was justified, and continue with the same policy. You'll never please everyone. But you have to have the balls to be mildly heavy handed in the green. A LOT of whiny, narcissistic, bullshit will end up passing muster otherwise.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:42 PM on May 23, 2007


only one person flagged it before this thread popped up.

That was me. Do I win a prize?
posted by stet at 6:47 PM on May 23, 2007


What kind of false currency are you trading in that makes it worth your while?

Usability of the resource?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:20 PM on May 23, 2007


is that meant to imply that flags which follow (and possibly result from) a MeTa are given less weight?

At the very least, they're viewed differently. If a question gets posted to the green and is given no special attention and yet gets 10 flags in three hours, there's definitely something going on there. (Occasionally, what's going on is no big deal, but usually it's a flagrant transgression of some sort.)

If a question gets posted to the green, gets a flag or two in three hours, and then gets pointed at from the grey and suddenly gets another 8 flags, that's a different story: people have been primed to examine a thread for trouble.

The two situations are very different. It's like a push poll during election season (though without the implicit sliminess): you can't help but look at the thing in the light it's presented, and so the flag loses a lot of it's organic meaning because it's an agreement (or, occasionally, disagreement—"fantastic post" shows up now and then) rather than an independent, self-motivated reaction.

I don't disregard them, but I do consider them differently, and part of that is a tendency to weigh the raw numbers more lightly, yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:34 PM on May 23, 2007


And if you make a couple mistakes here and there, and you will, man up, say that you agree it was a mistake or that you felt that it was justified, and continue with the same policy. You'll never please everyone. But you have to have the balls to be mildly heavy handed in the green. A LOT of whiny, narcissistic, bullshit will end up passing muster otherwise.

I don't know if you're doing that "man up" "have the balls" dicktalk to annoy me or titillate me, but it's doing neither. We are mildly heavy-handed in the green and some people would like us to be more so, clearly you are among them. We often remove stuff without full faith and credit of flagging to back up our actions, but not always. When I saw this post I thought "eh it's borderline and almost no one flagged it and I have to go" if there's a mistake to apologize for, I guess that's it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:35 PM on May 23, 2007


I don't disregard them...

I hope not. I understand your point and I agree — but, well, post hoc ergo propter hoc. Just because I flagged a comment that had already been MeTa'd doesn't mean that I saw the MeTa thread; and even if I did see the thread, that doesn't mean the comment wasn't noise.

Moreover, it might be useful to encourage flagging as a means of agreeing with somebody's callout (instead of commenting in the MeTa thread and contributing to the pile-on effect).
posted by cribcage at 7:51 PM on May 23, 2007


Just because I flagged a comment that had already been MeTa'd doesn't mean that I saw the MeTa thread; and even if I did see the thread, that doesn't mean the comment wasn't noise.

Absolutely. And if there was no stark rate-change in flagging frequency after the metatalk post, we wouldn't need to consider the issue at all. It's the explosion of flags that bears careful consideration.

I consider flagging to be a damned useful group feedback tool—much more so now that I actually use them, and I wish more people flagged so that we had a bigger and broader data set to work with. But there has to be a long-term separation between the act of flagging and the expectation of action, especially for the more qualitative things, neh?
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:56 PM on May 23, 2007


Yes. It's been suggested to make flagged deletion automatic — for example, after 10 flags a comment automatically gets axed — and I don't support that. Ditto for red-light cameras.
posted by cribcage at 8:03 PM on May 23, 2007


Next time I post a chatfilter question, I wouldn't be surprised if some newly-signed-up user posted a MeTa callout before anybody had time to flag it, thereby making the question deletion-proof. Mwa-hah-ha etc.
posted by nowonmai at 8:19 PM on May 23, 2007


Next time I post a chatfilter question, I wouldn't be surprised if some newly-signed-up user posted a MeTa callout before anybody had time to flag it, thereby making the question deletion-proof. Mwa-hah-ha etc.

Let me know if you need any help with that. I'm a pro.
posted by 0xFCAF at 8:20 PM on May 23, 2007


The problem with this question is that we had the exact same question months ago, and the answers there were a lot better and funnier.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:29 PM on May 23, 2007


So, now that that's settled, I'm thinking of taking up heroin. Any suggestions?
posted by jonmc at 8:30 PM on May 23, 2007


Use clean needles. And sunscreen.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:08 PM on May 23, 2007


I am really surprised that no one has said GYOFB in this thread.
posted by RussHy at 4:39 AM on May 24, 2007


Well, somebody just did.


TPS, my lawyers will contact you. I think you know why.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:01 AM on May 24, 2007


Personally, I didn't flag it on first reading because it was so clearly chatfilter that I figured it'd get quickly deleted whether I flagged or not. I went back to flag it after seeing this post, because I was stunned to see that the lack of flags was being used as reasoning for leaving it.
posted by vytae at 8:20 AM on May 24, 2007


I don't think it's nice, you flagging. You see, my mule don't like people flagging. He gets the crazy idea you're flagging his posts. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.
posted by Koko at 9:04 AM on May 24, 2007


Guess what, Kirth Gerson? That's right- I don't care.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2007 [1 favorite]


The fact that you posted an answer argues otherwise.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:00 AM on May 24, 2007


I can't really tell if this is an exquisite deadpan bit or an unintentionally ironic rehash.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:13 AM on May 24, 2007


Oh, sure - like you care.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:28 AM on May 24, 2007


something something yuppies something
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:35 AM on May 24, 2007


The former, cortex.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:30 PM on May 24, 2007 [1 favorite]


I didn't try to make my comment sound "boyzone"-like, jess, but I am a bit frustrated. (And I forgot that the green was your place, so i wasn't trying to point you out.) Sorry. But i do think that there are way too many "wah wah, my bf/gf/dog broke up with me" questions.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 3:38 PM on May 24, 2007


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