Personally I think putting the word "penises" in a title makes it NSFW. June 12, 2007 12:38 PM   Subscribe

I'm a little sorry I opened this post at work. Maybe a little "NSFW" or title changing could happen? Supposedly the question was about blogging. Not a huge deal either way.
posted by salvia to Etiquette/Policy at 12:38 PM (70 comments total)

The basic policy here is that there are no NSFW warnings for text. If your work is a place where having a bad word on the screen might cause trouble, you would be better off not reading MeFi from work. This was discussed most recently here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:41 PM on June 12, 2007 [3 favorites]


Of course, now I just did the same thing to other people, as well as filling up my history with about six more clicks on things with "penis" in their title. I'm definitely fired now.
posted by salvia at 12:42 PM on June 12, 2007


Thanks a lot, I just got fired from the innocuous-penis-reference factory.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 12:49 PM on June 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


You've got to be kidding. Pictures and video, sure. A word on a webpage? Stay away from the web where you work. Everything is NSFW. Life is apparently NSFW.
posted by purephase at 12:53 PM on June 12, 2007


WTF. So you put the same word that you think should be labeled NSFW in the title of your MeTa post?
posted by amro at 12:53 PM on June 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


  <O
  ( \
   X
8====D
posted by dios at 12:55 PM on June 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't care that it's there in text on the screen -- no one's going around doing screen captures on me at work or anything -- but it being in the title means it could show up in some sites-browsed list, yes? To our hypothetical tattle-tale work monitor, what's the difference between going around intentionally reading discussions about penises and clicking on pictures of penises? Ah well, if everyone else agrees this is a stupid request, I'll get over it.

And amro, uh... you did see that I noticed that like one second later, right?
posted by salvia at 12:59 PM on June 12, 2007


Yeah, salvia, I saw. Just pointing out my astonishment that you did it at all.
posted by amro at 1:05 PM on June 12, 2007


Well fuck me sideways. Someone used a the proper anatomical term to describe a body part you would find on nearly half the population? On the internet? What the fuck is the world coming to?
posted by eyeballkid at 1:13 PM on June 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Reading about salvia on the web has been known to lead to NSA wiretapping and/or nadzapping. I'm just sayin'.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:14 PM on June 12, 2007


salvia: to further any paranoia and sense of trouble, the word "penis" would show up to a filter even from a view of the front page of askme: it's contained in the url for the thread in question, since thread titles are urlized.

There's not much to be done; AskMe is wild and wooly, that way, and if "penis" in a thread is going to get you in trouble, the front page could probably get you in trouble too.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:20 PM on June 12, 2007


IM ON YUR INTERNETS PENISING YUR WORKPLACE
posted by found missing at 1:23 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


this is MeTa hall of fame material. I'm going to start calling out stuff just so I can commit the infraction in the callout. It's so meta my hair hurts!!!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:24 PM on June 12, 2007


salvia's issues aside, I'm curious about the nature of work monitoring. I've never been in an environment where it happens, thankfully. If one is monitored, would they really be ok with mefi even though it's not porn? I ask because I really have no idea what bosses who monitor internet usage are looking for. It seems to me that I'd be bothered by both porn and metafilter for the same reason: they're not work. that is, I'd be bothered if I were the kind of boss who'd monitor internet usage. I'm neither that kind of person, nor anyone's boss.
posted by shmegegge at 1:25 PM on June 12, 2007


Face it: MetaFilter is just one, big penile colony.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:31 PM on June 12, 2007


While we're all here, why can't people use apostrophes' correctly!!
posted by Kwine at 1:44 PM on June 12, 2007


Uhoh.
posted by These Penises Are Alarmed at 1:47 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


While we're all here, why can't people use apostrophes' correctly!!

Damned grocers' union. You can't fight City Hall.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:47 PM on June 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


and hosted from Uranus already mentioned it, but I think it bears repeating: salvia is a psychoactive drug (well, okay, salvia divinorum, but let's not split hairs). Also, 'box' is a slang term for the female anatomy.
posted by box at 1:48 PM on June 12, 2007


Well, there goes my post about how the pen is mightier than the sword.
posted by googly at 1:49 PM on June 12, 2007


It's Raining Florence Henderson is a euphemism for Wesson-oil and denture-cream bukkake.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:52 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


penis penis penis fire salvia penis penis penis penis yeah you mr. IT guy reading logs penis penis penis penis go ahead and report it penis penis penis penis penis.

penis.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 2:03 PM on June 12, 2007 [27 favorites]


if "penis" in a thread is going to get you in trouble

Yeah, you know, not so much. I just lately try to minimize the degree to which things at first glace seem totally inappropriate as a quick break from work. (NYTimes: good! Posts about blog software: good! Posts about penises: not good!)

But cortex, you're saying that my hypothetical imaginary work monitor, some uptight busybody but one who only has enough time to do a quick scan of what people are doing on the network, would notice URL text on a front page with the same cursory vigilance as the titles of the actual webpage I'm on? If so, a world of clicks is now open to me. (Only during lunch or breaks, of course.)

And so, the line on NSFW-ness is images? Bad because people can see them from afar? It's the "from afar" risk that causes people to mark things NSFW? Okay, I learn something new every day and will hover over any link I'm going to click, and people, myself included, can continue listing sexual body parts in the titles of their posts without me objecting. :) Now I'm getting back to work.
posted by salvia at 2:07 PM on June 12, 2007


FIST CRISCO CALVING GLOVE BLOOD BLISTER

I'm in my impressionist period now.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:08 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


To make is safer, we should use term "p33n" instead.
posted by dios at 2:08 PM on June 12, 2007


penis penis penis fire salvia penis penis penis penis yeah you mr. IT guy reading logs penis penis penis penis go ahead and report it penis penis penis penis penis.

Geez. Grow up, poo poo face.
posted by iconomy at 2:09 PM on June 12, 2007


NY Times: good!

THINK TANK; The Penis as Text for Serious Thinkers: Be Careful What You Wish For

December 22, 2001, Saturday
By EMILY NUSSBAUM (NYT); Arts & Ideas/Cultural Desk
Late Edition - Final, Section A, Page 21, Column 1, 840 words

ABSTRACT - Emily Nussbaum Think Tank column on the different ways the penis has been regarded throughout history, subject of David M Friedman's book A Mind of Its Own

posted by found missing at 2:13 PM on June 12, 2007


"Floyd" is a slang term for the male member.
Really.
It's true!
Pink "Floyd?"
"Floyd" the barber on Mayberry RFD?
"Floyd" Virginia?
I rest my case.
posted by Floydd at 2:15 PM on June 12, 2007


Am I the only one who read mathowie's comment with the badgerbadgerbadger music as a backing track?

Maybe cortex can record it in time for the next podcast?
posted by googly at 2:17 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


And so, the line on NSFW-ness is images? Bad because people can see them from afar? It's the "from afar" risk that causes people to mark things NSFW?

You wanted something marked NSFW without even understanding the rationale for the convention? Sigh.
posted by desuetude at 2:17 PM on June 12, 2007


Yeah, found missing, I read NYT back issues from 2001 and they're the worst about retitling articles that appear to be about blog software with the word penis.
posted by salvia at 2:18 PM on June 12, 2007


I rest my case.
posted by Floydd at 2:15 PM PST on June 12


With two Ds for a double dose of this pimpin.
And if you don't think CyberSitter doesn't know that...
posted by kosem at 2:19 PM on June 12, 2007


My only question is this, salvia: Did you post this MeTa from work? Good show!!

Well fuck me sideways. Someone used a the proper anatomical term to describe a body part you would find on nearly half the population? On the internet? What the fuck is the world coming to?

Profanity is the crutch of an inarticulate motherfucker.

Oh, and I'll see your fucked sideways and raise with three nipples and a popefelching nunshitter.

I could explicate with gusto and startlingly creative swearing at length, and so on and so forth until the cows come home blue in the face, but anything further would just be derivative, so fuck it.
posted by loquacious at 2:21 PM on June 12, 2007


I'm so happy I'm the one that monitors the company internet access. In the nude.
posted by NationalKato at 2:27 PM on June 12, 2007


For the record: most of the 'monitoring' that goes on is for historical information. That is, noone is sitting at a workstation scanning the logs, JUST WAITING for you to click on popefelchingnunpenises.com.

It's more the kind of thing they go back through, after the fact, when they're looking for evidence to fire you. So you're already probably fucked, might as well enjoy the ride!
posted by coriolisdave at 2:37 PM on June 12, 2007


I'm definitely fired now.

They'll have to swab us all down with CheckMate.
posted by peacay at 2:42 PM on June 12, 2007


I did not have sexual relations with that penis.
posted by loquacious at 2:48 PM on June 12, 2007


Bring in the stunt penis!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:03 PM on June 12, 2007


Ma...he said anus!
posted by ericb at 3:04 PM on June 12, 2007


For some reason this memorable movie exchange comes to mind:
Michael: Maybe it was an iguana.
Elliot: It was NO iguana.
Michael: You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?
Gertie: Alligators in the sewers.
Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it.
Elliot: I couldn't have imagined it!
Michael: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.
Gertie: A deformed kid.
Michael: Maybe an elf or a leprechaun?
Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis-breath!
posted by ericb at 3:08 PM on June 12, 2007


But cortex, you're saying that my hypothetical imaginary work monitor, some uptight busybody but one who only has enough time to do a quick scan of what people are doing on the network, would notice URL text on a front page with the same cursory vigilance as the titles of the actual webpage I'm on?

Nope, that's not the imaginary work monitor I'm considering. I'm imagining automated logging with a scan for objectionable stuff to be checked out by humans as needed/desired/prompted-by-boredness. If a machine is scanning the things you pull across the network for keywords, a penis is a penis is a penis and Metafilter is not and never will be a safe thing to read at work.

If you've got folks randomly eyeballing your net usage in real time, that might be a bit different, but that is not the norm.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:16 PM on June 12, 2007


1: Hovering over the link shows it's about penises. Penises are not safe for work. I have to leave mine at home. Sometimes I forget, and I have to leave it in my bike's pannier, before entering the building.

2: I'm afraid I will get fired to looking at this link, which features Lisa Simpson in a compromising position.
posted by The Deej at 3:27 PM on June 12, 2007


PLEASE, ONLY TITLES WITH BUNNIES 'N PUPPIES 'N UNICORNS WITH RAINBOWS KTHXBYE
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 4:33 PM on June 12, 2007


Firefox + Greasemonkey + Profanity Filter might assist in terms of pure asthetic appearance. The text is altered only right before you see it, so it'd still be noticed by any automated means.
posted by WCityMike at 4:38 PM on June 12, 2007


PLEASE ONLY TITTIES WITH BUTTERFLIES 'N PUNS 'N STARS WITH TWINKLES
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 5:26 PM on June 12, 2007


Fortunately, I'm my own boss.




OMG, I just fired me for reading this thread!
posted by languagehat at 5:33 PM on June 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Popefelchingnunpenises = great band name.

You should buy the popefelchingnunpenises.com domain right now.
posted by misha at 6:34 PM on June 12, 2007


BABA-BOEY, BABA-BOEY, HOWARD STERN'S PENIS, BABA-BOEY BABA-BOEY!
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:43 PM on June 12, 2007


"Fortunately, I'm my own boss.




OMG, I just fired me for reading this thread!"


When you start your search for someone to replace you, will you be accepting resumes or will you be promoting from within?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:49 PM on June 12, 2007


i remember this game:

penis!

penis!

penis!!


N.B.: this comment is slightly funnier when read in naked HTML.
posted by spiderwire at 8:05 PM on June 12, 2007


wait, the "big" tag works in the live preview but not on the actual page?

maaaatt, stop screwing up my phallus jokes!
posted by spiderwire at 8:06 PM on June 12, 2007


maaaatt, stop screwing up my phallus jokes!

Would you rather he screwed down your phallus jokes?
posted by loquacious at 10:41 PM on June 12, 2007


I thought we had all agreed to use the WARNING: HORSE COCK label for anything that might be nsfw. Has there been a new memo issued?
posted by madamjujujive at 11:10 PM on June 12, 2007


AskMe: So I just registered popefelchingnunpenises.com. Got the host (Angelfire.com). Got the blogware (MS Word). Have an idea (the Pope felching nuns with penises). Don't have anything else. Help.
posted by LordSludge at 7:05 AM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, I always used to take my penis to work with me. Never had any trouble.
posted by Joeforking at 7:21 AM on June 13, 2007


We have a "Take Your Penis To Work Day" here.
Gets a little complicated for the ladies, though.
posted by Floydd at 7:27 AM on June 13, 2007


How do you felch with a penis? Am I totally mistaken about the definition of this word?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:36 AM on June 13, 2007


stop beanplating the penisfelching, solipsophitocracy.
posted by misha at 1:03 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Am I totally mistaken about the definition of this word?

You may be, but I think you are misunderstanding the larger sentence where the "nuns with penises" section is actually meant to be "nuns that have penises" (I know, life is so complicated) not that the penises are what the Pope is (are?) using to do the felching with. ok?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:16 PM on June 13, 2007


How do you felch with a penis? Am I totally mistaken about the definition of this word?

OED: "Usually of a male homosexual: to stimulate the anus of (a sexual partner) orally; spec. to remove orally semen ejaculated into the anus of (a partner). Also: to insert a small animal, esp. a gerbil, into the anus of (a partner) for sexual stimulation." First cite from 1972 (Anthropological Linguistics 14 101 "Feltch, to use one's mouth or tongue on the anus of his partner; anilingus"), second from 1985 (National Lampoon Sept. 15 "What is your definition of ‘kinky’?.. Felching [a prominent politician]").

I can't believe this word is in the OED. Also: can anyone with a Sept. 1985 Nat Lamp tell us who the politician was?
posted by languagehat at 1:35 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


That gerbil thing is in no way how I understand the word, that's sort of weird and screwed up.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:48 PM on June 13, 2007


Talk to the dic, 'cause the hat ain't listening.

Actually, I think they overgeneralized from this cite:

1993 Private Eye 10 Sept. 17/1 A felching session had gone seriously wrong. ‘I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Faggot, our gerbil, in... I tried to retrieve Faggot but he wouldn't come out again.’
posted by languagehat at 1:51 PM on June 13, 2007


I can't believe that's in the OED. What would James Murray say?
posted by languagehat at 1:52 PM on June 13, 2007


VAGINA!
posted by deborah at 1:54 PM on June 13, 2007


Felching [via Wikipedia].
posted by ericb at 4:16 PM on June 13, 2007


Ah -- ye olde 'gerbil in the anus' story.

Paging Mr. Richard Gere, white courtesy phone in the lobby. Mr. Richard Gere.
posted by ericb at 4:18 PM on June 13, 2007


wow languagehat, you found something wrong with the OED. Not that I'm surprised, but I feel that you deserve a medal and/or I'd like to make a big deal out of that or something.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:06 PM on June 13, 2007


wrong as in logically wrong, or wrong as in that's just wrong?

i still can't decide if languagehat is joking or not. since i have the condensed OED, i can't verify. :(
posted by spiderwire at 8:13 PM on June 13, 2007




If one is monitored, would they really be ok with mefi even though it's not porn? I ask because I really have no idea what bosses who monitor internet usage are looking for. It seems to me that I'd be bothered by both porn and metafilter for the same reason: they're not work.

Does anyone read the posts down here? Just in case the person asking the question is, we are monitored here at work but, being a modern organisation, the powers that be recognise that people need to maintain a "healthy work-life balance" and that means people need to access the 'net for personal reasons during work hours. We are permitted "reasonable personal use of Internet and e-mail facilities" but are prohibited from accessing or distributing material that is "inappropriate for the workplace", whatever that means. Actually, to say we are monitored is not completely true - everything we access is logged and may be monitored if the need is identified (ie if someone complains about your habit of surfing pr0n in plain sight of the young ladies you work with). Up to 200Mb per month of personal access is considered a reasonable maximum and we can access the log of our surfing via our browser at any time (mine is usually about 300Mb per month and I haven't been quizzed in 2.5 years, but I'm careful what I click on).

My department has the honour of being noted that having the highest number of people fired for accessing pr0n at work than any other in the state for the past two years running, which just proves that some people are too stupid to have 'net access when they are doing that despite knowing everything is being logged.
posted by dg at 12:12 AM on June 14, 2007


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