I'm disappointed that Matt hasn't solicited ads from the KKK
"I love when Coulter is mentioned. Because without fail, the same old sexually-frustrated and misogynistic comments come out about her gender and sexual activities. I guess she causes castration fear in men or something. Whatever the reason, there has never been a mention of Coulter here without some reference to sex. And it's so powerful that we even have people paying $5 to make jokes about sexual acts involving Ann Coulter. It's awesome because it is so blatant and obvious. And I love things that involve prurient interests, and Coulter always brings those out. There should be some term derived from ad hominem called "ad sexualem" or something that refers to making sexual attacks on the speaker."
Following is the transcript of Chris Curveball’s televised interview last night with Ann Coultist, held before a group of high school students.
CHRIS: We’re here to talk about the new book by right-wing commentator Ann Coultist, but first, Ann, we have a woman on the line who wants to ask you something.
ANN (uses fingers to comb back long blonde hair): Right wing! That’s a new one.
CALLER: Hello, Ann? I’m calling to ask why you were so mean to my mother.
ANN (runs fingers through hair): I don’t suppose your mother has a name?
CALLER: Mildred Quaker. And you said she was mean and ugly, but you never even met her, because she died years ago.
ANN (tosses back blonde hair): I happen to know that, darling, because I tripped over her tombstone in a cemetery and got grass stains all over myself. Was that my fault? When these Quakers insist on being pacifists who can be buried anywhere they want to be?
CALLER: We’re not Quakers. We’re SDA.
ANN (shakes out hair): FDA? Are they inspecting cemeteries now? The Chinese commies have been making our corpses into toothpaste.
CALLER: No, SDA stands for Seventh Day Adventist.
ANN (braids hair): Vegetarians. Enough said.
CHRIS: So what do you want to ask Ann, caller?
CALLER: Did you notice my mother’s death date? Because it was the same day as your birthday?
ANN: Is that my fault?
CALLER: It has been a family secret that my mother died giving birth to you, and you were put up for adoption.
ANN (unbraids hair): Orphanages are part of the whole socialist agenda. Begging in the streets has traditionally been good enough for orphans…
CALLER: That’s so mean…
ANN: …and people love to adopt pretty little blonde girls.