I had a dream...

July 19, 2007 1:50 AM

I had a dream about Metafilter. I think that's sort of meta, so I'm sharing it here.
posted by Deathalicious to MetaFilter-Related at 1:50 AM (41 comments total)

In my dream, MetaFilter wasn't (just) a website, it was a city. MetaFilter was a literal community, people living together in a large citiy that was both hip and sun, yet somehow also a bit dark, grimy, and gloomy.

Instead of threads, you had discussion rooms. Discussions took place in the real world. The post (everything before the more inside) would be written outside on the street. To participate in the thread, you went down stairs into cellers or caves where everyone gathered to talk. Because it was real life, they were a bit less animated and a lot less democratic -- individuals were much more likely to dominate conversations.

The most popular "posts" were in a category that doesn't exist in MetaFilter at all -- MetaHowTo, in which the poster would provide instructions on how to make one or another useful or quirky item. Often these were based on the poster's own work, and occasionally visiting the post meant you could buy (or get for free?) a kit that helped you make the item descriped in the MetaHowTow post. For example, one person ingeniously invented a way to create a cat transporter out of a set of legos and a large block of wood (the kit provided included the instructions and the legos, but the block of wood, the poster stated, would have to be cut by the reader themselves. Over time, MetaHowTo lost its original spirit of "how to make weird things using materials at hand" and became more like self-help books, pushing habits and behaviors.

I saw this change as a very negative thing. I decided I would post on MeTa about what I saw as the degredation of MetaHowTo, but realized that if I was a newcomer, and *especially* if I had shown up on the scene way after MetaHowTo had already changed, then my criticism wouldn't seem all that legit (in my dream, MetaFilter was way older, with posts dating back to 1992 or 1993). So, I asked mathowie how long I'd been on (in?) MetaFilter. He asked cortex to look up my information (in the MetaFilter world, there was a whole fake-computer-tech-in-films-esque team with cortex at the helm). But cortex snapped that he wasn't on the database right now, and anyway I could look it up my damn self.

At this point I woke up. I have on idea what it means, except that I probably spend too much time on Metafilter.
posted by Deathalicious at 1:51 AM on July 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

Yeah, I know. Get my own blog or something.
posted by Deathalicious at 1:51 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure this is a double post.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:02 AM on July 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

Oh, shit. I think I forgot to tell you what was in those delicious double dark chocolate brownies.

Just go back to bed. You'll be fine. Just remember that you can't really fly. Oh, and if you happen to discover your totem animal - eating it is an inappropriate response.
posted by loquacious at 2:05 AM on July 19, 2007

My wife tells me about her dreams, and I have to pretend to care because I love her. You are not my wife.
posted by Optamystic at 2:11 AM on July 19, 2007 [10 favorites]

Whoa, that reminds me that I had a dream that starred metafilter in it too.

I dreamt that Metafilter as it existed ten years in the future, except that by this time it had become and major world institution with buildings and such that existed outside the web (none of this Second Life nonsense). In any case, the website still had all the sections that MetaFilter currently has, just much much bigger. I was on MetaTalk in the dream and was coming to the realization that somehow MetaFilter had gone from just being a really awesome website to some super organization with shadowy powers. I remember having visions of cortex wielding this power but then everything got super abstract. It was a total reification experience.

When I woke up I was kind of scared. Now I'm kind of creeped out again. I think I'd much rather have a dream about MetaHowTo and cat transporters.
posted by Mister Cheese at 2:14 AM on July 19, 2007

I've totally had this same dream. Except that I always end up executing anyone that disagrees with me by firing squad. Other than that, completely the same.
posted by puke & cry at 2:40 AM on July 19, 2007

I often have dream about MeFi. The last one was last night and I was at the Portland meet-up. Jessamyn was making sure people who've had too much to drink took cabs home. I waited in line outside for the cab and some other user (dunno who) was wearing the same outfit as Jessamyn. The other girl was trashed, and Jessamyn was making snarky comments about how she looked better in the outfit than the drunk girl.

I have no idea what corner of my subconscious spawned that image, but it was entertaining.
posted by Brittanie at 2:53 AM on July 19, 2007

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends. I have a dream that one day this community will rise up and live out the true meaning of its tagline: "Feature requests, bugs, etc."
posted by Abiezer at 3:13 AM on July 19, 2007

I dreamt about my tractor.

A popular female mefite was helping me hook the rotavator up to the tractor, but we couldn't get the PTO shaft to slide into the splined receiver on the implement.

(I told her I had never had this trouble before, but I lied--secretly ashamed. What kind of farmer was I, unable to work the field, unable to plant seed in the fecund earth so a crop might be harvested months later?)

She kept telling me to work the button on the rotavator receiver so the splines would slide in, but I ignored her. There was plenty of grease, but the PTO seemed oddly lifeless--how could something forged of steel not be up to this simple task?

My mefite friend finally gave up, though she was gracious enough to suggest she had enjoyed trying to hook up the rotavator, I knew the truth.

The field remained unturned, the seed remained unplanted, and at the center stood I, a broken shell of a farmer.

I awoke. When my wife said good morning, I was unable to look her in the eye.
posted by maxwelton at 3:14 AM on July 19, 2007 [9 favorites]

"individuals were much more likely to dominate conversations."

Is this even possible?

"Over time, MetaHowTo lost its original spirit of "how to make weird things using materials at hand" and became more like self-help books, pushing habits and behaviors."

Kinda how like the most popular posts on AskMe are no longer useful practical questions and now tend to be the "help me feel better about this" variety? I mean, with the cost of therapy in this country, who wouldn't pay $5 for a touchy-feely session on Axe?
posted by Eideteker at 3:28 AM on July 19, 2007

In my dream, MetaFilter was a gigantic cruise ship, containing a series of rooms, each carpeted in red and representing a post, with the thread's participants seated cinema-style, watching the post page on the big screen. As you progressed towards towards the back of the ship, you moved backwards in time through the posts, until you reached post 19, and then finally found the toilets.

The queue was massive.
posted by chrismear at 3:34 AM on July 19, 2007

I dreamed that everyone on MeFi hated me and ... oh fuck, I've been awake all along, haven't I?
posted by jacalata at 4:04 AM on July 19, 2007

*glances at clock twice*
posted by dreamsign at 4:09 AM on July 19, 2007

In my dream, Metafilter was a shallow pool in a balmy jungle clearing. The water was crystal clear, and yet also seemed to contain a myriad of colours - blue, green, grey, with occasional red and white flashes - that danced and sparkled and sang as I stared, enraptured, into the cool expanse.

Removing my clothes, I stepped naked into the water, and submerged myself. I floated, just below the surface, for what seemed an eternity; I cannot be sure, I but I fancied I heard all manner of angelic and uncouth voices speaking to me in languages I did not know, but understood perfectly.

I rose at last from the pool, and stood dripping in the jungle heat - only to percieve, standing by my clothes at the water's edge, an old, blind man of indescribable age and sunken features. His cracked and furrowed face seemed to tell of all the glories and horrors of history; to have lived too many lives, witnessed the same sadness too many times to believe in the false hope that people may learn from their failures.

I approached him. He smiled, toothlessly.

"That's not water," said the old man, "That's a giant puddle of elephant piss. Oh, and I just left some fish in your pants."

I awoke, with tear stains on my pillow and a strange sensation of emptiness in my being. Ever since then, I have walked the routine paths of my life as a ghost, virtually unseen and unable to understand m - I stare at the world, but comprehend nothing.

In my abandoned state, one horrifying fear grips me above all others. Am I - was I ever - a person, real and tangible? What was I before I entered that pool? Did I dream Metafilter... or did Metafilter dream me?
posted by flashboy at 4:13 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

"... unable to understand my surroundings". Cock it.
posted by flashboy at 4:14 AM on July 19, 2007

quonsar: not blind, nor completely toothless.
posted by quonsar at 4:26 AM on July 19, 2007

This is desperately sad on so many levels...
posted by i_cola at 4:53 AM on July 19, 2007

Metafilter: Desperately sad on so many levels.

I feel dirty now.
posted by Optamystic at 5:12 AM on July 19, 2007

Previous dreams.
posted by gleuschk at 6:04 AM on July 19, 2007

I love how idiosyncratically detailed dreams can be.

The parts about MetaHowTo and the lego cat carrier are classic.
posted by Afroblanco at 6:53 AM on July 19, 2007

He asked cortex to look up my information (in the MetaFilter world, there was a whole fake-computer-tech-in-films-esque team with cortex at the helm). But cortex snapped that he wasn't on the database right now, and anyway I could look it up my damn self.

Was I wearing a tiger suit?
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:05 AM on July 19, 2007

In my dreams, MetaFilter is a Viking.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:31 AM on July 19, 2007

Cortex, in my dreams, you're always wearing a tiger suit. And your catchphrase is, "They call me Cortex because I'm the only one!"
posted by Afroblanco at 8:03 AM on July 19, 2007

I hope we all had our clothes on in this "dream"...

you pervert
posted by gomichild at 8:34 AM on July 19, 2007

I dreamed MetaFilter was a cat. I ran it over with my Humvee, then cooked it on the engine block while I drove around making donuts in Boing Boing's lawn.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:40 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

In my version of this dream, I was naked, and MetaFilter was high school.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:05 AM on July 19, 2007

We were rolling a big doughnut. And there was this snake, wearing a vest...
posted by Miko at 9:14 AM on July 19, 2007

All of metafilter is actually a dream, and the moment mathowie wakes up this whole place will be gone.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:57 AM on July 19, 2007

And it'll turn out he was sleeping on his arm and couldn't really breath right.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:10 AM on July 19, 2007

I dreamed that I ate MetaFilter. When I woke up my pillow was missing.
posted by brundlefly at 11:38 AM on July 19, 2007

Lo, I have become MetaFilter, destroyer of words!
posted by blue_beetle at 11:58 AM on July 19, 2007

I love this dream.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 1:43 PM on July 19, 2007

In my dreams, cortex isn't wearing a tiger suit, but for some reason, I'm calling him "tiger" anyway.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:45 PM on July 19, 2007

Wait, mathowie is the windfish? And MetaFilter is Koholint? So that makes jessamyn Marin and cortex an owl.

Don't do it, Link!
posted by Mister Cheese at 5:38 PM on July 19, 2007

El jardin de mathowies que se bifurcan
posted by ludwig_van at 6:02 PM on July 19, 2007

Put the keyboard down, and step away.
posted by The Deej at 8:13 PM on July 19, 2007

Did you awake with your head on the keyboard, drool between the keys, mouse over `Post' ?
posted by philomathoholic at 11:02 PM on July 19, 2007

from my personal blog, November 2001:

[dream] in 2 parts: (1) looking for a metafilter party, which was somewhere off of 6th ave. (I seem to remember looking for 7th & Church. um, elaine? there’s no Church St. in Tacoma.) (2) meeting up with Matt in his top-secret lair on that Mutant X island, and then flying with him in his little glider plane. man, that was cool!

I just had to share that because the phrase "Matt in his top secret lair" cracks me up, 5+ years later.

it would be an interesting topic for a survey to see how many mefites, past and present, have had dreams about mefi or other mefites.
posted by epersonae at 8:46 AM on July 20, 2007

Metachat. Shhhh.
posted by Miko at 8:59 AM on July 20, 2007

I had a dream about Metafilter, too... it was a sort of VR environment where links showed up as physical objects.

(Guess what my next feature request is going to be?)
posted by Many bubbles at 10:06 PM on July 20, 2007