Sometimes I Feel (Like A Very Small Girl's Blouse) October 30, 2007 4:16 PM   Subscribe

Sorry if I've offended. Let's bring disagreements here.

At the risk of seeming somewhat self-centered, there were a few comments in the "Viagra (in a needle) for women?" thread that lead me to believe I'm routinely pissing certain people off. Look, that's not what I want to do. Sorry if that's the case. If you have something you want to say about it, I guess it'd be good to hear about it here, rather than wasting space in a thread. And I'd rather get it out into the open, rather than wondering about it and then saying something else to piss people off.

I have a feeling it has something to do with what could be charitably called my 'polemical style' of relishing the invention of insults. I think I'll stop with that. I know I probably earned Pope Guilty as an enemy pretty quickly like that, for one. Sorry, Pope Guilty.
posted by koeselitz to Etiquette/Policy at 4:16 PM (150 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

And... the first two are gone. Anyway, tkchrist, everybody, feel free to vent here.
posted by koeselitz at 4:23 PM on October 30, 2007


Paging wendell.
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:23 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


We need popcorn. STAT!
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:26 PM on October 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


If it makes you feel any better, I have no idea who you are.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:30 PM on October 30, 2007 [22 favorites]


Yeah, that helps a good deal.
posted by koeselitz at 4:30 PM on October 30, 2007


"everybody, feel free to vent here."

I was on the phone with Time Warner's fucking internet customer service for a fucking hour last night, doing that "Now turn your modem off" bullshit again and again, before they told me that "Oh, yeah, there's been a service outage in your area all day." I had to talk to four people before someone noticed this. WHAT THE FUCK, TIME WARNER?
posted by klangklangston at 4:31 PM on October 30, 2007 [15 favorites]


Christ. Well, this was probably really stupid. One wonders what else one should do, though.
posted by koeselitz at 4:40 PM on October 30, 2007


...everybody, feel free to vent here.

I just got a new windshield and a local club put a postcard on it to promote Girls Gone Wild doing a taping there. It rained all night and the next morning it was stuck fast to my windshield. Even after using Goo Gone to peel it off, the imprint of the ad is stuck to the glass. So, now I have to drive around looking out a brand new $200 windshield with a permanent advertisement for Girls Gone Wild. FUCKING BULLSHIT LOCAL CLUB!
posted by sneakin at 4:40 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


No, it's mostly that tkchrist is being a dick, lately.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:43 PM on October 30, 2007


“If it makes you feel any better, I have no idea who you are.”

You know, that came out—or at least it seemed to me—as having too much of a sense of “I'm one of the cabal and you're merely a peon—why'd you make this stupid post, anyway?” vibe.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:45 PM on October 30, 2007 [13 favorites]


sigh.

Well, I guess Blue Cross/ Blue Shield kinda sucks. I mean, I just spent half the day on the phone with their obnoxious computer system. And they still haven't processed my enrollment, even though it went through at the beginning of the month. Stupid, stupid blue cross/ blue shield of Florida.
posted by koeselitz at 4:45 PM on October 30, 2007


If it makes you feel any better I HATE YOUR GUTS!!!!

And if it makes you feel any better I LOVE YOU!!!!


Not snarkin'. Just funnin'.

posted by The Deej at 4:45 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


On last night's episode of I Love New York 2, I can't believe Tailor Made gets to stay after picking a fight with Buddha and then spitting on Mr. Wise!
posted by fandango_matt at 4:46 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


...everybody, feel free to vent here.

There's never any fucking milk in the kitchen at work first thing in the morning. What, I have to bring my own milk in now if I want white coffee? Is this how low we've sunk? Jesus. Fuck.
posted by flashboy at 4:46 PM on October 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


Honestly, what gets me is a sort of lower-grade version of konolia- while she's smugly Saved and Has Proof of God but she Won't Share It With You, Sinner, you come off in the atheism thread with this sort of complete dismissiveness, not to mention the insufferable snottiness in the g-shot thread. Here, examples:
A spiritually empty society inevitably overestimates the benefit of raw immediate pleasure.
and
Every public teaching that is based in opinion, educated or not, is a religious teaching. The second an atheists demands assent without knowledge, that atheist is a religious person. The real opposite of believe isn't disbelief; it's indifference. This person is certainly not indifferent.
I rather like the invention of insults, even if the "girl's blouse" line baffles me.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:47 PM on October 30, 2007


I don't think you said anything wrong. I understood where you were coming from, but I think some others didn't, and thought you were coming from a more conservative and restrictive angle than you were. I also think you took some bait you should have avoided in favor of clarifying your position.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:49 PM on October 30, 2007


I don't really know what this is all about, but grammatical hiccups aside, out of context, those two blockquotes of Pope Guilty's sound (nearly) spot-on to me.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:52 PM on October 30, 2007


...everybody, feel free to vent here.

The Bush administration is a full-scale disaster and yet Bush still gets 30-35% approval in polls. WTF, people? Is a third of the US douchetarded?
posted by found missing at 4:55 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


You know, that came out—or at least it seemed to me—as having too much of a sense of “I'm one of the cabal and you're merely a peon—why'd you make this stupid post, anyway?” vibe. posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:43 PM on October 30 [+] [!]

I have no idea who you are, either.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:55 PM on October 30, 2007 [14 favorites]


O GOD! OIL WITH CARE!
posted by breezeway at 4:57 PM on October 30, 2007


I rather like the invention of insults, even if the "girl's blouse" line baffles me.

"big girls' blouse" is british for weakling or inconsequential person

the first time i read it about 10 years ago, i was baffled, too
posted by pyramid termite at 5:02 PM on October 30, 2007


This is the venting thread? OK, I was hoping to go out to dinner with my fiancé. but he calls at 5:30 pm and says he has some work thing to go to tonight. So he's somewhere dining on steak, while I've heated up a frozen dinner.

Oh, and I have no idea who you are, either.
posted by desjardins at 5:02 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


...everybody, feel free to vent here.

Honest to fucking christ, stop with the wendell and popcorn "jokes". Seriously. Not funny. Hasn't been for a very long time. Find a new route. Cut the shit!
posted by tristeza at 5:02 PM on October 30, 2007 [6 favorites]


Honest to fucking christ, stop with the wendell and popcorn "jokes". Seriously. Not funny. Hasn't been for a very long time. Find a new route. Cut the shit!

This will wendell.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:03 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Christ. Well, this was probably really stupid. One wonders what else one should do, though.

Have another drink. Or, two. Or, three!
posted by ericb at 5:03 PM on October 30, 2007


I'm going home. And I'll have about five, thank you.
posted by koeselitz at 5:04 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Cheers to koeselitz!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:04 PM on October 30, 2007 [4 favorites]


max power hasn't shown up in his meta thread yet. It's been over 30 minutes since the thread was opened. I demand instant gratification.

*injects frontal lobes with collagen*
posted by maudlin at 5:08 PM on October 30, 2007


Cheers to koeselitz!

who?
posted by found missing at 5:09 PM on October 30, 2007 [4 favorites]


Honest to fucking christ, stop with the wendell and popcorn "jokes". Seriously. Not funny. Hasn't been for a very long time. Find a new route. Cut the shit!

IM IN UR METAFLTR STINKIN' IT UP WIT MEMES & JOKES. STOP IT? FUCK NO. GETTIN' OUT MY LWN CHAIR TO WATCH THE FLMEOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ericb at 5:09 PM on October 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


I find you profound, lithely athletic and a perfect match for the hand-woven wallhangings/ faux-fur rug ensemble that adorns my snug, koeselitz.
MetaFilter discussions would obviously go better with fewer uncharitable readings, which are what I feel lie at the root of any unpleasantness here. I can have a shouting match with any old passing cunt; arguments are more engaging if we are actually addressing one another's points.
Pope Guilty - "big girl's blouse" is an English insult of some vintage. It is further evidence of the foul and intellectually bankrupt nature of the koeselitzian project that he even dares to suggest it may somehow be something of his own invention. The man must be stopped!
posted by Abiezer at 5:09 PM on October 30, 2007


Some people seem to be able to bust a nut just from stroking their ego, life ain't fair.
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:09 PM on October 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


People that disagree with me piss me off.
posted by liquorice at 5:10 PM on October 30, 2007


I'm going home. And I'll have about five, thank you.

Drive before you drink -- and not the other way around!
posted by ericb at 5:10 PM on October 30, 2007


Thanks to this thread, I have "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" playing in my head, infinity loop stylee. I'm quite fond of that song, though, so for now, I'm okay with the whole situation. But if it's still stuck a couple of hours from now, I'll probably re-enter this thread with a need to vent, vent, VENT
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:11 PM on October 30, 2007


The Bush administration is a full-scale disaster and yet Bush still gets 30-35% approval in polls. WTF, people? Is a third of the US douchetarded?

No, it's more like 50%. The bottom 15% or so are just so dumb they can't even answer the poll correctly.
posted by god hates math at 5:15 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Naw, the bottom 15% are members of Bush's family and administration.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:18 PM on October 30, 2007


If it helps, I fucking HATE you as much as I fucking HATE everyone else on this site.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:20 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


People that disagree with me piss me off.

Well, see, that's where I think you're wrong...

ducks to avoid thrown object
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:21 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


First of all: I know who koeselitz is even though I sometimes confuse him and smedleyman together for reasons completely opaque to me. But every once in a while I think something like: "Wait! How's "smedleyman" a Nietzsche reference?" I believe I've promised koeselitz a beverage of his choice if we ever find ourselves in the same geographical region which makes me think that he's a good guy. I generally don't offer people beverages unless they're good people. Unless it's a beverage to the face, in which case all bets are off. But seriously, koeselitz is a fairly active commenter, you have to be pretty blinkered not to have noticed him. His comments can be jarring, but I've found him to be open to reasoned argument. But he's a good guy, as evidenced by his apology to Pope Guilty.

Second of some: Remember when knee-jerky put-downs where funny? I don't.

Third of whatsit: It's good when people air bullshit. Yeah, bullshit stinks whether it's enclosed or out in the open, but in a contained area the bullshit fumes can build up such a pressure that there's an explosion. Nobody wants a bullshit explosion.

Fourth of thisisn'tcuteanymore: Yeah, throwing out insults tends to alienate more people than it brings in.

Fifth: This was a perfectly cromulent use of MetaTalk.
posted by Kattullus at 5:24 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sorry to rerail the thread, but I found koeselitz's post a sensible way to handle the situation, and I'm going to actually respond to it. So there.

koeselitz: Taking shit is an inevitable consequence of a polemical style. Even those of us who appreciate a good verbal joust sometimes take things wrong (or right, even) and get bent out of shape, and those who prefer a nice rendition of Kumbaya are going to have a hissy fit. There are a number of MeFites it took me a while to appreciate because it's not always easy to tell garden-variety asshats from verbal jousters, and you're one of them. But I wouldn't worry about it in this case; like stavros says, you didn't say anything terrible in that thread. Your first comment was a tad gnomic, people jumped on you for it, lah de dah. Have a drink on me; tomorrow you will have forgotten this whole thing.
posted by languagehat at 5:28 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


meh. Some people express opinions and then people get their panties in a knot about it. I think I got called the village idiot the other day.

Let me reiterate: meh.
posted by GuyZero at 5:32 PM on October 30, 2007


I got called a republican once. Which was more ridiculous than anything else.
posted by puke & cry at 5:45 PM on October 30, 2007


"Your first comment was a tad gnomic"

Great, now I have to look shit up just to understand MeTa threads. Thanks a whole fucking lot, lh.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:47 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


I do know who you are. You are an opinionated, well-spoken commenter who often ruffles feathers but makes good points while doing so. You tend to get personal, but you generally back off after you've calmed down and digested the other person's point of view and/or concerns.

Also, those bastards from the DPW left my empty garbage can right in the middle of the street AGAIN.
posted by yhbc at 5:59 PM on October 30, 2007


SPOILER ALERT




























THERE IS NO FISH IN QUONSAR'S PANTS
posted by loquacious at 6:00 PM on October 30, 2007


everybody, feel free to vent here

I fucking hate that there is no socially acceptable way to constantly show someone who doesn't really know you how much you love them.

All the guilt that springs from the feelings and (implied) accusations of being creepy and stalker-esque is such bullshit. I just want you to know that I love you. I Fucking Love You, okay? I wish there was just a button I could push every minute of every hour to prove it. That would make things so much easier for everyone.

But instead, I have to go on pretending like I don't care. Like I don't care if you look at me or read what I write. Like I don't care if our lives head in totally different directions from this point on. Like I don't care if the awesome-ness of us banding together to take on the fucking world is never manifested.

Because if I were to grab you by the shoulders and tell you how much I care and then show you What This World Is Really About, you would just freak out on me. The whole building would just implode with the societal norms that I would be taking down.

So we'll just have to continue leading our lives like we've been. For the safety of all the others. But thanks for the opportunity to vent. I feel like we made some real progress.
posted by dogwalker at 6:04 PM on October 30, 2007 [20 favorites]


feel free to vent here

Excellent. I was tired of tying pantyhose to the end of my dryer's vent tube.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:04 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


SPOILER ALERT

I did pretty well blinking until I had to scroll.

Also, I set the over/under for that atheism thread way low, and I'm sorry, and if anybody has grievances to air let's piggyback here.

If I've learned anything today, it's that atheists are angrier than first suspected.
posted by pokermonk at 6:10 PM on October 30, 2007


How is that even possible?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:16 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


"everybody, feel free to vent here."

I'm fucking tired of getting a reciept for every goddamn thing, even the most trivial of purchases. I swear if I get one more fucking receipt for a pack of gum, I'm gonna fucking shout and scream and kick the walls and shit.

Managers make cashiers give you receipts because compulsory receipt-giving makes it easier for management to detect dishonest cashiers. In other words, this irritating practice, which I fucking swear is like a papercut to my subconscious, basically amounts to corporate America making you, the consumer, do their dirty work for them. How about fucking paying your cashiers a living wage, you heartless sons of bitches? Maybe if you treated them a little bit better and actually gave them health insurance and shit, they'd be a little less eager to rip you off. Fuck you and your receipts, you cheap-labor capitalist swine!

Fuck no I won't do what you tell me!

Fuck no I won't do what you tell me!

Fuck no I won't do what you tell me!

Fuck no I won't do what you tell me!

And fucking stop giving me so many goddamn napkins.
posted by Afroblanco at 6:20 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Those aren't napkins. They're receipts.
posted by found missing at 6:21 PM on October 30, 2007 [4 favorites]


(aneurysm)
posted by Afroblanco at 6:31 PM on October 30, 2007


Afroblanco: ""everybody, feel free to vent here."

And fucking stop giving me so many goddamn napkins.
"

I hate that Subway only gives me two napkins. I need more. If you're penny-pinching with napkins, what else are you doing that I should know about?

And the CTA? Blows. Take your filthy buses, rude drivers, non-existent schedules, disgustingly filthy trains, and your doomsday signs and shove it.

Maybe all the money you spent paying Kinko's to print color signs on expensive colored paper would have been better spent on cleaning your nasty trains. Lazy, greedy, incompetent idiots.
posted by who squared at 6:33 PM on October 30, 2007


Oh, now you started it.

I either catsup packets or napkins - not both. When I need napkins, I get catsup, and when I need catsup, I have to beg for it, and I still don't get any napkins.

At Dunkin' Donuts, I will get way too many catsup packets, and salt and pepper even with a freaking SAUSAGE CROISSANT (who puts catsup on a croissant? anyone? Bueller?) but no napkins.
posted by yhbc at 6:35 PM on October 30, 2007


I ^get^ either
posted by yhbc at 6:36 PM on October 30, 2007


Oh, and I fucked up the end of that first paragraph. I was too pissed off about getting a giant wad of napkins stuffed in a bag with no catsup packets to type clearly.
posted by yhbc at 6:38 PM on October 30, 2007


How is that even possible?

I have no idea which part you were referring to, so in order:
-Curious if it could be done when that was on the carte du jour, I managed to work it out pretty well, but by "pretty well" i do mean it was still a horrible failure.

-A. There didn't seem to be a lot of heavy debate early and even though I knew they'd come out of the woodworking eventually, I figured the initial steam wasn't enough to carry it. B. This thread is already mostly derailed, I doubt anyone will mind.

-I think there's a big list somewhere that a girl in a colonial uniform put together that will explain everything. It's wicked long.
posted by pokermonk at 6:43 PM on October 30, 2007


I note that you live in NYC, Afroblanco, which I guessed before I checked. This is a reciept-and-napkin-happy town. Buy a can of soda, get three napkins, a straw and a receipt. Maybe a small paper bag. Maybe its the paper mafia forcing bodega owners to buy tremendous amounts of paper products.
posted by Bookhouse at 6:55 PM on October 30, 2007


Think of the Blue Cross enrollment runaround as practice. When you make a claim for some procedure your doctor ordered, Blue Cross will deny it (that's their business plan), and only after you argue, beg, and plead will they agree to pay it "this time."
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:19 PM on October 30, 2007


Maybe if you treated them a little bit better and actually gave them health insurance and shit, they'd be a little less eager to rip you off.

nah, some people will steal no matter how much money they make

forbidden fruit tastes sweeter, i guess

my rant?

people who drive on cellphones - do you know what could happen to you, mr and mrs inattentive idiot with a suv and a cellphone? - you could get into an accident - the force of the accident could send the cellphone straight up your stupid nose - the cellphone itself could be implanted in your brain in such a manner that the best brain surgeon in the world would blanch at operating for fear of killing you - and therefore, your cellphone would remain inside of your otherwise well functioning brain as you recuperated from your injuries - and, as you realized how seriously your life had changed, three thoughts would occur to you

1 - "i wish i hadn't talked on my cell phone and driven"

2 - "i had no idea that my cellphone number was one off from 1-800-TEE-NHOS"

3 - "why, oh WHY, did i leave my motherfucking phone on VIBRATE?"
posted by pyramid termite at 7:27 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Venti? I asked for a FUCKING GRANDE you worthless scum! And stop being so fucking happy. C'mon it's 7 am and all I wanted was a plain cup of fucking medium coffee and you made me learn a whole new language!

It is always the guy in front of me though
posted by Sk4n at 8:15 PM on October 30, 2007


"If you're going to have a stupid conversation, at least do it when you're not driving!"

"Don't distract me, Pat. Accidents. Crashes. A family is changed forever."

Speeding is also bad.
posted by Tehanu at 8:22 PM on October 30, 2007


EB: "No, it's mostly that tkchrist is being a dick, lately."

Actually, I've rather enjoyed his stuff recently. I feel like he's mellowing out a bit. Same goes for Pastabagel - I think he's achieved a sort of confidence that just lets him say whatever the hell he feels like saying.

I'm also pleased as punch that it's ok to say you believe in God and post on metafilter. Seriously - it's got me giddy.

I believe in God! I do I do!

*dances about like a big girl's blouse*
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:24 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty pissed that Word's Find-and-Replace with regular expressions works correctly when I have Track Changes turned off but goes all screwy when I turn Track Changes back on and I need these changes tracked. Seriously, Word, what the fuck?

I lead a sad and pathetic life.
posted by Partial Law at 8:28 PM on October 30, 2007


Oh good God... when I go into goddamn Starbucks and ask for a short cappuccino and they goddamn give me a fucking small cappuccino. Y'know what?! If it's over 6 ounces of liquid it's not a fucking cappuccino! Why, Starbucks, why must you screw up the only good coffee product you make? If I wanted a whatever-you-call-a-small-cup cappuccino that's what I'd damn ask for.

I guess I'll have to stick to their vanilla chai lattes. Unholy as they are, at least they taste like childhood.

I lead a rad and pathetic life.
posted by Kattullus at 8:32 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


koeselitz: Sorry if I've offended.

Not me. Sometimes I agree with what you write, sometimes I don't, but when I disagree it doesn't make me think you're a Bad Person.

A spiritually empty society inevitably overestimates the benefit of raw immediate pleasure.

I like this Solzhenitsyn quote on the limits of materialism:
The turn introduced by the Renaissance evidently was inevitable historically. The Middle Ages had come to a natural end by exhaustion, becoming an intolerable despotic repression of man's physical nature in favor of the spiritual one. Then, however, we turned our backs upon the Spirit and embraced all that is material with excessive and unwarranted zeal. This new way of thinking, which had imposed on us its guidance, did not admit the existence of intrinsic evil in man nor did it see any higher task than the attainment of happiness on earth. It based modern Western civilization on the dangerous trend to worship man and his material needs. Everything beyond physical well-being and accumulation of material goods, all other human requirements and characteristics of a subtler and higher nature, were left outside the area of attention of state and social systems, as if human life did not have any superior sense.
So what's missing? H. Allen Orr:
The key question is: Is there any religious faith beyond supernaturalist religion that remains untouched by the enlightenment case? [Philip] Kitcher concludes that there might well be. He calls this final variety of faith "spiritual religion." Spiritual religion abandons both the supernatural and literalism and, in their place, offers ethical models of right action and moving portraits of nobly lived lives.
In this case, I wouldn't assert that this kind of cosmetic surgery is wrong, exactly, but it seems to me that it reflects a rather skewed sense of what's important.
posted by russilwvong at 8:39 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


koeselitz: you don't even know who I am.
posted by SteveTheRed at 8:42 PM on October 30, 2007


For the record I don't care if you believe in god or not, please don't care if I believe in god or not and everything is aces. Good night and be well.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:45 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


I sure hope this poolios soon (and well), because I just need directions to Fisherman's Wharf and/or Rockefeller Center. Who are you, again?
posted by trip and a half at 8:52 PM on October 30, 2007


Bit of a tangent among tangents - but thank you, koeselitz, for your enthusiasm in my recent Vampyr post.
posted by Iridic at 8:55 PM on October 30, 2007


Actually, I've rather enjoyed his stuff recently. I feel like he's mellowing out a bit.

Heh.
posted by liquorice at 9:05 PM on October 30, 2007


Oh, and who squared: I'm with you wrt the CTA. You'd have thought that all the fares I've poured into their coffers could have bought a new cross-tie or two for their goddamn "slow zones," but apparently my money only defrayed the expenses associated with removing track, stations, buses, trains and functionality from the system. I'm walking from now on. It's a hell of a lot faster than the El.
posted by Iridic at 9:05 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


"everybody, feel free to vent here"

I don't know who I am.










:(
posted by Brittanie at 9:15 PM on October 30, 2007 [3 favorites]


O, di immortales! that "viagra for women" thread is a train-wreck.
posted by Kattullus at 9:29 PM on October 30, 2007


Driving while phoning? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I hate the whole phucking phone phetish the world is on. Used to be, phones were devices in homes and offices that, unless you were a stockbroker, hollywood agent or teenage girl, you used maybe ten minutes a day, tops. Now, no-one under the age of forty seems to be able to do anything without simultaneously nattering to some other cretin about it.

And as if talking on the damn things isn't bad enough, everyone has to talk *about* them all the time too. "Have seen the new iTphone? It has a camera, a TV, video recorder and a 16-track digital recording studio. The built-in Apache web server fearures php and MySQL so you can simultaneouly podcast all your conversations. Plus it regualarly updates twitter with your GPS location and randomly pokes all your facebook contacts so you don't have to."

Jesus, people. They're just phones. Hang 'em up every once and a while!
posted by timeistight at 9:43 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Buying a used car is a huge pain in the ass, especially when you're living on the fringes of civilization. Who knows what's happened to these damn things?

People calling the Red Sox the new Yankees get my goat, too. Yes, the Sox are a large market team with a big payroll, but it's still like $50m less than the Yanks'.

The ultimate meaninglessness and futility of existence has been dragging me down a bit lately, too.

koeselitz seems like an OK guy. Disagreements, even heated ones, need not be harsh judgments of others' character. Especially on the internet, for gosh sakes.
posted by ibmcginty at 10:07 PM on October 30, 2007


...everybody, feel free to vent here.


HR managers, are, without a doubt, the weirdest, most neurotic people out there. They seem to relish petty feuds, backstabbing and general catty behavior. Hanging out with them is like wearing tight sandy shorts on a sweaty uphill slog. And part of my day job is to get them to interact together on a regular basis. It is a thankless fucking task.

Why why why?
posted by KokuRyu at 10:14 PM on October 30, 2007


ibmcginty: "People calling the Red Sox the new Yankees get my goat, too. Yes, the Sox are a large market team with a big payroll, but it's still like $50m less than the Yanks'."

Well, sorry, but I think I'll keep doing it for a week or two. It's been a hard week out here in Denver. I still think it was a management problem that lost us that series; Terry Francona's just the best there is, that's flat it, and Clint Hurdle couldn't quite hack it; he made all the right decisions for two months, and then fell flat. I'd rather see the Sox win over the Yanks any day, though. Also, $50m less than the Yankees? We're, like, $150m behind you guys, if you count Matsuzaka's $50m negotiation agreement.

In general, to all, this was a nice thread. dogwalker, the comment is appreciated, and I hope you know how much. A very good deal, I'll just say. And the sentiment is returned in cold glasses to all at the table, that large quaffs may be taken.

In fact, I'm feeling somewhat warm, but we can all just say it's the beer, if that suits. Here, everybody. Look at some pictures of me and my wife out in Yellowstone a few weeks ago.

And if I get any jokes about "Fairy Falls," I swear, I'm starting another MeTa.
posted by koeselitz at 10:24 PM on October 30, 2007


Hmm... "The glorious Fairy Falls."

Fairy falls... glorious fairy falls.... the glorious fairy falls... hmm... the glorious fairy falls...

hmm... nope... don't see it. What's there to joke about?
posted by Kattullus at 10:27 PM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Oh, and who squared: I'm with you wrt the CTA. You'd have thought that all the fares I've poured into their coffers could have bought a new cross-tie or two for their goddamn "slow zones," but apparently my money only defrayed the expenses associated with removing track, stations, buses, trains and functionality from the system. I'm walking from now on. It's a hell of a lot faster than the El."

Really? I was there just a couple weeks ago, and (aside from a random arson on the brown line) everything was fine, even the buses. I mean, it doesn't really matter to me, but the "we needz states money" ads seemed convincing, and I (being from the midwest) understand what construction looks like (slow zones on the Blue).

Maybe it's just because I live in LA and miss real mass transit, but the CTA seems to be an OK bureaucracy dealing bureaucratically with entrenched problems.
posted by klangklangston at 12:02 AM on October 31, 2007


Well, I'm sorry koeselitz, I hate you now. I perused the pictures you linked and you appear to be engaged in a loving relationship with a charming partner surrounded by natural beauty. All I could feel was the rush of a welling resentment in the blackened depths of my cold and wizened heart.
posted by Abiezer at 12:04 AM on October 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Retail people, when delivering change, coins first, then notes, please. The opposite, and the coins are sliding around on top of the notes and it's all an unnecessarily delicate balancing act. Why is this so difficult?
posted by normy at 12:36 AM on October 31, 2007


everybody, feel free to vent here.

Brenda Love pays five bucks to shit in the thread and we're the jerks? As I read her comments, I thought to myself, "Lady, if I encountered you ranting on the street, I'd hand you a buck and keep on walking." So I figure she must've posted her story on at least five other sites.

Ok. I may be a jerk, but I hadn't even commented yet. No need, since my compassion and sympathy both died during the Kaycee hoax. Although, considering I joined in 2005, it's possible they never existed.
posted by ryanrs at 4:11 AM on October 31, 2007


Hey, great photos, koeselitz. Thanks for the link.

everybody, feel free to vent here.

[steve martin]

...thank you.

[/steve martin]

Sorry, I don't normally crap in threads (note: debatable). But this was an homage crap. Arguably, the highest form of crapping.
posted by clockzero at 4:43 AM on October 31, 2007


I have no idea who TPS is, despite reading hundreds of her comments.

I think that anyone who has a problem with anything koeselitz said in that thread is misreading him by a mile.
posted by DarkForest at 6:05 AM on October 31, 2007


Nice rocks!
posted by rtha at 6:09 AM on October 31, 2007


Nobody knows who I am!
posted by jonathanstrange at 6:23 AM on October 31, 2007


What's with all the apologies? Surely any MeFi transgressions can be absolved with a handful of Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
posted by Reggie Digest at 7:26 AM on October 31, 2007


A spiritually empty society inevitably overestimates the benefit of raw immediate pleasure.

That's probably true, Yoda, but it's a platitude passing as wisdom. Delivered by itself, into a discussion of orgasms, the remark sounds a little schoolmarmish.

Re:Solzhenitsyn:
Everything beyond physical well-being and accumulation of material goods, all other human requirements and characteristics of a subtler and higher nature, were left outside the area of attention of state and social systems, as if human life did not have any superior sense.
The whole paragraph that sentence belongs to is trite--the entire address is largely mystic nonsense--but this assertion is manifestly untrue. As if "the prevailing Western view of the world"--however Solzhenitsyn cares to define that--was ever opposed to--as if it wasn't actually the driving philosophy behind the creation of--all the national museums, orchestras, ballets, universities and schools, built in every Western country during the last 400 years!
posted by octobersurprise at 7:47 AM on October 31, 2007


Gosh, I know who ThePinkSuperhero is. She's this lady.
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:49 AM on October 31, 2007


There's never any fucking milk in the kitchen at work first thing in the morning. What, I have to bring my own milk in now if I want white coffee? Is this how low we've sunk? Jesus. Fuck.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, flashboy...just hold on a tick. What the hell do you mean by "white" coffee? What, you need a little white because your BLACK coffee scares you? You know what I want to vent about? The white man appropriating and spreading his influence into everything. This is just like calling the palely orangeish crayons' color "flesh" or "nude" stockings and tights. As a person of color, I demand you address that coffee by its proper and correct name of "coffee with milk."
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:04 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


On a more serious note, no milk in the office fridge also annoys me, but that's because I'm the asshole who uses it for cereal, thereby depleting the milk supply at an exponential rate.
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:07 AM on October 31, 2007


HR managers, are, without a doubt, the weirdest, most neurotic people out there. They seem to relish petty feuds, backstabbing and general catty behavior. Hanging out with them is like wearing tight sandy shorts on a sweaty uphill slog. And part of my day job is to get them to interact together on a regular basis. It is a thankless fucking task.

I'll see your HR managers and raise you New York City Department of Education HR managers. You'll note that that particular trifecta of obstructionism is an unbeatable hand of suck.

Also, people who promise to "give me a call right back" after they "check on one little thing" and then fail to do so eleven times should be shot.
posted by Skorgu at 8:08 AM on October 31, 2007


I hate when I get an e-mail from someone that says "Please call me". If you want to talk to me, CALL ME YOURSELF. Or, if you'd like to talk to me about something specific, why not outline it in the e-mail, so I can be prepared when I call you, instead of having to stammer like an idiot when you bring up something I haven't had time to review?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:31 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Every time koeselitz gets in an argument on mefi, he should say "Do you fucking know who I am?!"
posted by shmegegge at 8:43 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Thanks for the pictures, koeselitz; that was nice to see.

Vent? The fucking Mets had the worst collapse in the history of organized baseball—I don't want to hear about your HR managers or deli experiences. Fuck.
posted by languagehat at 9:03 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Whoa, how did a thread about enhancing female orgasms move to rape?
posted by mosessis at 9:03 AM on October 31, 2007


I don't know who any of you are, but I just saved a fuckload on my car insurance.
posted by not_on_display at 9:35 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Do female orgasms really need enhancing? The ones I have witnessed were like watching someone get stolen away by angels who sent them flying over a 1000-mile waterfall of sheer ecstasy.

I am jealous of the female orgasm.

Hm. Or maybe I'm just that good.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:51 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


koeselitz: listen to languagehat. I know from experience that he will be forthright in his analysis and let you know when you are acting fine and when you've lost perspective and gone overboard. I've found that when I think hard about what he says, he is usually correct. He's a good barometer.

Also, listen to ebk because he has a good perspective as to the people here.
posted by dios at 9:51 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


koeselitz: you got comments deleted? what were they?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:59 AM on October 31, 2007


I'm starting to feel like I will never find love. And love is not even looking for me, it only wants Wedge.
posted by [@I][:+:][@I] at 10:39 AM on October 31, 2007


I'm frustrated that everyone I know who didn't go to college makes far more money than me.

I'm annoyed that my apartment probably has lead in it.

I'm pissed at the people who ignore the fact that the street I live on is closed to through traffic and decide to go through anyways.

I'm annoyed that my Ubuntu install didn't really take yesterday (trying Xubuntu today).

I'm annoyed that most of the apartment complexes we've tried calling won't call us back.

I'm sad that I've been on Metafilter nearly 7 years and haven't built up a feud with anyone yet.
posted by drezdn at 10:50 AM on October 31, 2007


I'm sad that I've been on Metafilter nearly 7 years and haven't built up a feud with anyone yet.
posted by drezdn at 12:50 PM on October 31


Ouch, drezdn. I thought what we had together was special. Guess not...
posted by dios at 10:53 AM on October 31, 2007


The weirdest person in that thread is TKChrist, who's doing that thing a lot of men do when any mention is made of some guys not being en fuego in the sack, where they get defensive and accusatory and imply that if women were somethingsomethingsomething they wouldn't have this problem, and FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, I'M TAKING MY PENIS AND GOING HOME TO WATCH PORN, where the women are welcoming and undemanding.

I wish people would just stop posting anything related to sex+ladies, because it always turns into this embarrassing thing where a third of the men are making uncomfortable jokes, another third are rageful, and the final third are saying earnest things about how they're amazing with their hands, all their ex-girlfriends said so.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 11:19 AM on October 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


octobersurprise: As if "the prevailing Western view of the world" ... wasn't actually the driving philosophy behind the creation of--all the national museums, orchestras, ballets, universities and schools, built in every Western country during the last 400 years!

Museums, orchestras, and ballets are all moribund. They're regarded as a quaint and inferior form of entertainment compared to movies, television, and sporting events. (Philip Greenspun: "Go down to your local symphony hall or opera house, a building that very likely has recently benefitted from a $50-100 million renovation. The audience will be so old that you wonder why they didn't add a Medevac helipad on the roof. That seniors suffering from cardiac arrest aren't hauled out at every intermission is a hard-to-solve mystery.")

Universities and schools are certainly not moribund. But they serve an important economic purpose. For students, they provide valuable skills, and certification of those skills; for the economy as a whole, they provide a highly trained workforce. I'd agree that Solzhenitsyn could have mentioned the pursuit of knowledge (SCIENCE!) as an important non-material aspiration of Western civilization, but it doesn't have a great deal of force these days either: stories about the ignorance of the general public don't get much of a reaction.

I think Solzhenitsyn's right. Looking at the news, we tend to focus on material measures of well-being--physical health, poverty, obesity, safety, etc. We tend to overlook non-material issues. To take one important issue: How do we learn about ethics? Who are our "ethical models of right action"? (In my view, we have none; instead, we have celebrities.) We've had some spectacular ethical failures in the public sphere lately, but they're just a symptom: the real problem starts much earlier, with our failure to develop a strong sense of ethics.
posted by russilwvong at 11:23 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I wish people would just stop posting anything related to sex+ladies, because it always turns into this embarrassing thing where a third of the men are making uncomfortable jokes, another third are rageful, and the final third are saying earnest things about how they're amazing with their hands, all their ex-girlfriends said so.

I used to do posts on those topics but I stopped because of that very same dynamic AND because I got tired of threads devolving into a week of this back-and-forth:

IS GROSS!

IS NOT!

IS TOO!

IS GROSS!

IS NOT!

A lot of people here just aren't mature enough for these kinds of discussions.
posted by jason's_planet at 11:42 AM on October 31, 2007


My iPod appears to be dead, and AskMe has proved of no avail.

I had to stand up on the goddam 99 Express all the way home yesterday.

.....


You know, I don't really have all that much to complain about, I suppose.
posted by jokeefe at 11:43 AM on October 31, 2007


"I wish people would just stop posting anything related to sex+ladies, because it always turns into this embarrassing thing where a third of the men are making uncomfortable jokes, another third are rageful, and the final third are saying earnest things about how they're amazing with their hands, all their ex-girlfriends said so."

Oh my sweet jesus yes. Even though I'm making uncomfortable jokes.
posted by klangklangston at 11:45 AM on October 31, 2007


Do female orgasms really need enhancing? The ones I have witnessed were like watching someone get stolen away by angels who sent them flying over a 1000-mile waterfall of sheer ecstasy.

It's called overacting, Astro.
posted by Reggie Digest at 11:52 AM on October 31, 2007


Ambrosia Voyeur: "koeselitz: you got comments deleted? what were they?"

I didn't get deleted. tkchrist did; he came with two pretty pissed off "STFU already! Why doesn't this koeselitz guy every shut up?" comments. Which is really what made me step back and wonder what I'd said. I kind of felt like I wanted at least to hear him out, or hear if I'd been doing something egregiously wrong, but the thread wasn't really the place to sit around saying "what'd I say? what'd I say?"
posted by koeselitz at 12:05 PM on October 31, 2007


Oh dios, I could never feud with you.
posted by drezdn at 12:06 PM on October 31, 2007


Try Freuding with him. It works better.
posted by koeselitz at 12:08 PM on October 31, 2007


A lot of people here just aren't mature enough for these kinds of discussions.

ARE TOO!
posted by yhbc at 12:25 PM on October 31, 2007


ARE NOT!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:29 PM on October 31, 2007


That's it, I'm turning the thread around.
posted by shmegegge at 12:35 PM on October 31, 2007


Ok I'm late to the thread and didn't read... most of it. But I just wanted to thank TPS for making me crack up.

That is all.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:40 PM on October 31, 2007


I wasn't aware of koeselitz until the 'girl's blouse' snark gave me a case of the chuckles for the rest of the day.

Now that I know he basically just STOLE the line, I hate the guy.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:50 PM on October 31, 2007


I will TOTALLY feud with dios. Just you watch.

Hi dios!
posted by exlotuseater at 1:01 PM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Alvy Ampersand: "Now that I know he basically just STOLE the line, I hate the guy."

Sincerely, rent and watch the film Naked. Now there's a man who knows his way around an insult. "Taking the piss? You're giving the stuff away!"
posted by koeselitz at 1:09 PM on October 31, 2007


It's actually near the top of my "Movies I always mean to get around to watching, since it'd be nice to see David Thewliss in something that isn't a piece of shit" list.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:13 PM on October 31, 2007


Oh, man, normy, yes it is awful when they put the change on top of the bills, but keep on paying with cash because what is worse is when you pay with your debit card and get money back.

What happens is a halloween horror story. THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN NORMY they take the store receipt and the debit receipt and they SANDWICH THE MONEY BETWEEN THEM! Like they think you are just going to jam all that paper whatever it is in your wallet. Bills, crap, whatever, just JAM IT, that is their attitude and while you are fumbling with this wad of paper they are shoving your purchases at you JAB JAB, like, "GET OUT OF THE WAY FORMER CUSTOMER YOU ARE DEAD TO US" o god I hate stores
posted by Don Pepino at 1:20 PM on October 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Here's an earlier pic of koeselitz from the June 30 Denver Mefi Meetup. A much less hairy koeselitz than we see from early September! We haven't had another meetup since this comment about DEVO, but I wish I had known about k's DEVO knowledge at the meetup, we would have had more to talk about!
posted by dr. fresh at 1:36 PM on October 31, 2007


When I worked retail (in a bookstore), I always gave people back their change coins first, then bills. I would also either put the receipt in the bag, or if they didn't want a bag, slide it into one of their books like a bookmark. It was always kept separate from the bills! (I will admit, however, that if the change given back was less than $20, I never counted it out for them. That always seemed like a big waste of time to me.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:41 PM on October 31, 2007


I still think it was a management problem that lost us that series; Terry Francona's just the best there is, that's flat it, and Clint Hurdle couldn't quite hack it

I don't think so. How about, the Boston pitchers and hitters are much, much better at baseball than the Colorado pitchers and hitters. The National League is terrible, any of the AL playoff teams would have been favored in a seven game series against the Rockies (and maybe Detroit and Seattle too), and the real championship happened in the ALCS.

/disgruntled Indians fan who happened to be in downtown Boston at the time of the damned victory parade yesterday.

Also, I'm 25, and what's up with the National League sending these teams to the World Series that are younger than me? Diamondbacks, Marlins, Rockies. Sometimes they even win the thing! It's disgraceful. Wheretofore art thou, Dodgers, Cubbies, Mets? You play in major media markets; have some pride.
posted by Kwine at 1:46 PM on October 31, 2007


May the Cubs never get to the World Series. Ideally, they would never place for in the National League Central.

The National League is terrible.

The National League just doesn't have the pay roll of the American League teams. Plus, they're at a disadvantage because the AL can put a guy that is all Mac at hitting in the DL spot, while the NL usually gets stuck filling the spot with their 9th best hitter.

Meanwhile when the AL plays in an NL park, NL pitchers can't hit (except you Gallardo and Owings) so it's not really a disadvantage that AL pitchers never take batting practice.
posted by drezdn at 2:19 PM on October 31, 2007


Kwine: "I don't think so. How about, the Boston pitchers and hitters are much, much better at baseball than the Colorado pitchers and hitters."

Look, I would've liked a Cleveland/Rockies series, too, but this is just bullshit. We're a good team, we've played great baseball. All y'all who seem to think that the greatness of a team is related to how long they've been around... why? How are the Yankees, for example, anything like the Yankees I grew up with? Answer: the uniforms. You're upset because of a uniform? Meh.

Seeing the Marlins kick the Yankees' collective ass a couple of years ago in the series was the best series in years for me. I saw some of those guys play minor league ball for the Isotopes in Albuquerque back when I lived in NM a few years before. They were kids, yes, but they were just guys who loved playing ball. I loved those games. And Josh Beckett... wow. The NL is about upstarts and rising stars like that. The AL is about money.

Also, I think you underestimate Terry Francona. He's really a superlative manager with a well-adapted system and an incredibly intelligent approach to the game.
posted by koeselitz at 2:26 PM on October 31, 2007


dr fresh: "Here's an earlier pic of koeselitz from the June 30 Denver Mefi Meetup. A much less hairy koeselitz than we see from early September! We haven't had another meetup since this comment about DEVO, but I wish I had known about k's DEVO knowledge at the meetup, we would have had more to talk about!"

First, I've shaved the beard for halloween, and sport only a sleazy mustache. Ugh. Second, we should have another meetup.

I love Devo. You should have heard the sigh of relief when I realized that a record our dog destroyed last week wasn't the Devo record that was lying out, but a Tom Verlaine solo album instead. That record sucked anyway.
posted by koeselitz at 2:29 PM on October 31, 2007


Sincerely, rent and watch the film Naked.

Seconded. Great, great film, full of bile for all you bile-loving MeFites.

The National League is terrible

Hey, none of that! They play real baseball [insert get-off-my-lawn rant about the DH and other abominations], and if the Mets had managed not to cram themselves in the toilet and pull the flush lever, you'd have seen a real series.

Sorry, koeselitz, I feel your pain, and yeah, the Rockies deserve more respect than they tend to get. But I'm a Mets fan.
posted by languagehat at 3:13 PM on October 31, 2007


Alvy Ampersand: "It's actually near the top of my "Movies I always mean to get around to watching, since it'd be nice to see David Thewliss in something that isn't a piece of shit" list."

Gee, here I thought that was him playing almost the same character in Meantime (another Mike Leigh gem) when all the while it turns out to have been Phil Daniels.

While I have the chance to gush here, let me just say that Mike Leigh, in all his harp-soundtrack-loving glory, is probably the greatest living director of films today.
posted by koeselitz at 3:32 PM on October 31, 2007


sneakin: try vegetable oil! It takes anything off glass. But use paper towels and Windex after, it's messy.
posted by lhall at 3:41 PM on October 31, 2007


Languagehat: I'm a Mets fan

Shhh shhh, Twins... there there... he loves you too even if he never talks about it.
posted by Kattullus at 3:41 PM on October 31, 2007


Rant away:
I'm frustrated at myself for wanting someone who appears to be emotionally unavailable. Ah, l'amore.

This year, I lack a fundamental understanding for the reasons for Halloween. And what the hell is with the huge blowup pumpkin lawn decorations?
posted by lilithim at 4:19 PM on October 31, 2007


everybody, feel free to vent here.

My asshole boss hasn't paid me in a fucking month. I'm going to fucking hunt him down, wherever the fuck he is, remove his fucking kidneys and fucking sell them on the goddamned black market. And then I'll go back and give him the fucking change, because I'm not a goddamned thief. Like him. That fucker.

Okay, I'm done venting now.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 4:52 PM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Give him a receipt for the kidneys, at least. With the change on top.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:19 PM on October 31, 2007


dr. fresh (oh and koeselitz, too) YES, YES, YES WE SHOULD!!!

the dude saw Nails The Cat @ work a couple weeks ago, and he was all "why haven't we done a meetup recently?" too. So, um... ?
posted by lonefrontranger at 5:41 PM on October 31, 2007


Phil Daniels.

The original Dr. Jimmy!
posted by drjimmy11 at 7:37 PM on October 31, 2007


WHY DOES REGULAR CHEESE AT SUBWAY ONLY COVER HALF THE FUCKING BUN THEY MAKE YOU GET EXTRA CHEESE JUST TO GET A NORMAL AMOUNT OF CHEESE GOD DAMNIT
posted by tehloki at 6:36 AM on November 1, 2007


tehloki, here's why.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:58 AM on November 1, 2007


What a great thread, so very entertaining!
posted by Viomeda at 12:19 PM on November 1, 2007


Kirth Gerson: aaarrrrgggghhhh.
posted by tehloki at 1:31 PM on November 1, 2007


Swell, isn't it?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:52 PM on November 1, 2007


When I count out the change for you, I do it in descending order of value. This is so you don't stand there like embarrassing yourself, struggling to count it yourself to make sure I gave you the right amount back -- I did, really -- by counting upward from the smallest denomination to the largest, for some ungodly reason, and doing it out loud while the rest of my customers wait and glare at me.

That's why I give you your change like that. You do not have to "balance" anything. If your change is forty-six dollars and seventy-three cents, then here you go: twenty, forty, five and six, and (dumping your change on top), seventy-three cents. Now say thank you, close your hand around the whole pile of bills and coins, put it all in your front pocket, and get out of my line. On the way to your car, reach into your pocket and pull the bills out. The change will stay there because of gravity. Put the bills in your wallet.

You're welcome, sir.
posted by churl at 4:23 PM on November 1, 2007


Always "count down" change, starting with coins. So, if the item was $2.37, the customer gives a $20, the change is $17.63. You count, "Your blasted trinket was $2.37, (hold out hand) .63 is $3, $4, $5, five is ten, ten is twenty. Now get out of my store! Have a nice day!"
posted by krinklyfig at 7:03 PM on November 1, 2007


Motherfucker, kneading up my dough and saying "next" like I just vanished? I just rented this space for a spell when I bought this Nasonex. And you behind me, if you say "excuse me" one more time while I'm walleting my cash, yeah? I'm gonna wait outside and swipe your money out your hand, teach you not to flash your bread on the street, that's right.
posted by breezeway at 7:26 PM on November 1, 2007


Astro Zombie: "Hm. Or maybe I'm just that good."
Not according to your mother, you aren't.
posted by dg at 4:24 AM on November 2, 2007


Sometimes I just go to the admin console, close my eyes, and start clickin' till something gets deleted or someone gets banned.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:45 AM on November 2, 2007 [3 favorites]


krinklyfig: "Always "count down" change, starting with coins. So, if the item was $2.37, the customer gives a $20, the change is $17.63."

Your item was $2.37. Here's one penny, two pennies, three pennies is two dollars and forty cents, one dime is two dollars and fifty cents, a quarter is two dollars and seventy-five cents, another quarter is three dollars, one is four, one is five, five is ten, and ten is twenty.

Have a nice day, and please stop waving that gun around, it's scaring the other customers.
posted by koeselitz at 2:55 PM on November 2, 2007


Okay. Upon reflection, it's entirely possible that my "descending order of value" change-giving system is not the bastion of utilitarian functionality I may have previously thought.

But at least I'm a jerk about it!
posted by churl at 8:33 PM on November 2, 2007


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