[Dodson hurries over to the table.]
DODSON: (as he sits) You shouldn't use my name.
NEDRY: Dodson, Dodson. (loud) We got Dodson here! See, nobody cares. Nice hat.
HE HAS A HAIR IN HIS HAND
Uglier than a Monkey's Armpit, by Dr. Robert Vanderplank
We move now from the basics of the written word, to things that probably shouldn't be written down at all. Bringing a collection of the world's worst and most imaginative insults together in one book is a fun idea that was overdue, probably because of the immense amount of work that its creation clearly involved.
The aforementioed insult about having a hair in the hand comes from French and means lazy. It conjures images of the civil servant who has better things to do than help you—because he has a hair in his hand. The book is a good mix of bizarre and amusing examples like that, as well as the downright offensive. Too funny to be an academic work, but also too academic to be bedside reading, Uglier Than a Monkey's Armpit (a graphic Spanish insult, by the way) is best kept for reference when going on foreign holidays, receiving foreign guests, or just for spicing up your French homework.