Santa is fired from the job/He gives presents like a slob. December 23, 2007 11:51 AM Subscribe
An interfaith holiday involving a magical rooster who fills children's pants with presents. Hey... you don't think... could it possibly be...?
"We've found that no Winter Wondereve is complete without a feast at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, where we delight in the combination of maple-soaked fried dough and the sacrificial body of our host."
"We've found that no Winter Wondereve is complete without a feast at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, where we delight in the combination of maple-soaked fried dough and the sacrificial body of our host."
That's actually his long-lost cousing. Good work, Sherlock!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on December 23, 2007
No really, mang.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on December 23, 2007
This will not stavrosthewonderchicken.
posted by wendell at 1:58 PM on December 23, 2007 [7 favorites]
posted by wendell at 1:58 PM on December 23, 2007 [7 favorites]
Waffles just pancakes with little squares on 'em.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:04 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:04 PM on December 23, 2007
Chessboards? Just waffles with the squares coloured in.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:08 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:08 PM on December 23, 2007
you're obviously on an eggo trip.
posted by jonmc at 2:28 PM on December 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 2:28 PM on December 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps.
posted by puke & cry at 2:54 PM on December 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by puke & cry at 2:54 PM on December 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
So I says to Maple, I says,
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:04 PM on December 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:04 PM on December 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
Whuh?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:08 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:08 PM on December 23, 2007
You really haven't lived until you've been to Roscoe's, though.
posted by lilithim at 6:25 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by lilithim at 6:25 PM on December 23, 2007
well one is named "stavros" and one is named "irving." One is caustic and lives in Korea, and other is sickeningly syrupy and lives in the "frozen north"
posted by delmoi at 7:17 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by delmoi at 7:17 PM on December 23, 2007
stwc is from Vancouver, though, so maybe it's a sibling?
Although Vancouver doesn't really count as the frozen North, I can see a Wonder Chicken moving up north to add to the mythos.
posted by heeeraldo at 7:33 PM on December 23, 2007
Although Vancouver doesn't really count as the frozen North, I can see a Wonder Chicken moving up north to add to the mythos.
posted by heeeraldo at 7:33 PM on December 23, 2007
Sounds like the guy was forced to make up a new holiday cuz his wife's an unreasonable shrew.
posted by hjo3 at 9:54 PM on December 23, 2007
posted by hjo3 at 9:54 PM on December 23, 2007
Unwed teen girlfriend of migrant laborer gives birth in barn after donkey journey; another case of society sliding into immorality under the Liberal watch or immigrant invasion? We report, you decide!
Happy Quonsarka MetaFilter!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:41 AM on December 24, 2007
Happy Quonsarka MetaFilter!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:41 AM on December 24, 2007
Can we have quonsar back for Christmas?
posted by languagehat at 6:46 AM on December 24, 2007
posted by languagehat at 6:46 AM on December 24, 2007
I'm imagining a Metafilter Nativity Scene with Matt and Jess looking over the baby quonsar... the one big problem is, where among our 63K members are we going to find Three Wise Men?
posted by wendell at 6:55 AM on December 24, 2007
posted by wendell at 6:55 AM on December 24, 2007
Well, if we can't find originals maybe we should get...
posted by ersatz at 7:23 AM on December 24, 2007
posted by ersatz at 7:23 AM on December 24, 2007
damnit, why does wendell always get to wendell. I wanna wendell.
posted by tehloki at 11:28 AM on December 24, 2007
posted by tehloki at 11:28 AM on December 24, 2007
:-/
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:30 AM on December 24, 2007
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:30 AM on December 24, 2007
a Metafilter Nativity Scene with Matt and Jess looking over the baby quonsar...
What Hath God Wrought?
posted by Horken Bazooka at 11:55 AM on December 24, 2007
What Hath God Wrought?
posted by Horken Bazooka at 11:55 AM on December 24, 2007
a Metafilter Nativity Scene with Matt and Jess looking over the baby quonsar...
Can I be a sheep? I always wanted to be a sheep...
posted by pupdog at 12:39 PM on December 24, 2007
Can I be a sheep? I always wanted to be a sheep...
posted by pupdog at 12:39 PM on December 24, 2007
a Metafilter Nativity Scene with Matt and Jess looking over the baby quonsar...
me, breezeway and divine wino will be the three wisegu- I mean wise men.
posted by jonmc at 12:43 PM on December 24, 2007
me, breezeway and divine wino will be the three wisegu- I mean wise men.
posted by jonmc at 12:43 PM on December 24, 2007
A Metafilter Christmas:
...a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
posted by blue_beetle at 1:02 PM on December 24, 2007
...a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
posted by blue_beetle at 1:02 PM on December 24, 2007
Here's the problem with waffles: The extra surface area acts as a great radiator, causing them to cool off far to quickly. You can try to alleviate the problem with hot serving plates but unless you eat like my dog, no matter how fast you consume the thing it's going to be cold less than halfway through it. We need people on this problem ASAP.
posted by maxwelton at 6:19 PM on December 24, 2007
posted by maxwelton at 6:19 PM on December 24, 2007
Also, this year I have been amusing myself by positing that Santa Claus is a tradition inherited from the ancient Egyptian mythology of Osiris, who (after his horrible death and resurrection) took up a life at the North Pole. Happily, much of X-mas is in fact easily translatable to O-mas.
posted by mwhybark at 6:08 PM on December 25, 2007
posted by mwhybark at 6:08 PM on December 25, 2007
Sorry, but Santa is actually a Time Lord. That's how come he's hundreds of years old and still going strong, gets into people's houses without any problem (even if they don't have chimneys), travels around the entire planet in a night, and carries enough presents for all the world's kids in his "sleigh" (= TARDIS).
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 6:52 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 6:52 PM on December 26, 2007
I liked Pratchett's Santa, all pagan and porcine and animalistic. Santa is a solstice lord, in the gravest Northern traditions. It's a hard climate, a hard life: it deserves a lord that is a survivor, a hunter, even a hero.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:21 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by five fresh fish at 10:21 PM on December 26, 2007
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posted by mds35 at 12:34 PM on December 23, 2007 [2 favorites]