I live MeFi in dreams March 31, 2008 9:05 AM   Subscribe

I had a dream last night that I was at the base of a pyramid, and there was something earth-destroying in the pyramid, like an ancient God-like evil. I had to work my way through the booby trapped maze of the pyramid to reach the evil before it awoke, and so I popped open my trusty laptop and went to AskMeFi and typed my first question: How do I get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze. The answers started pouring in, and I began my mission, dodging ancient mummies and flying spikes.

That dream was awesome.
posted by Astro Zombie to MetaFilter-Related at 9:05 AM (136 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

and you thought being a pyramid termite was dull, didn't you?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:14 AM on March 31, 2008 [29 favorites]


My toddler had two excellent poops this morning.
posted by Dizzy at 9:15 AM on March 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Man, just last night I was reading through the walkthroughs to the old Indiana Jones graphic adventures, so I totally would've given you some good answers. Use your whip on the stone outcropping, then push the stalactite.
posted by ludwig_van at 9:15 AM on March 31, 2008


DTMFA
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


There's a two-for-one deal on Marlboro Virginia Blend at my corner store.

Don't push, there's plenty for everyone.
posted by jonmc at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2008


Ahh man I totally had that dream before.

And then I realized I was actually playing Pathways into Darkness.

I was still dreaming, but I was just dreaming about playing pathways into darkness, which was still pretty fun. And for some reason my room was filled with the rotting corpses of my enemies. And a poodle (not a poodle corpse, just a poodle, hanging out, playing chess with itself, as the do).
posted by mrzarquon at 9:18 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Awesome dream.
posted by 517 at 9:23 AM on March 31, 2008


Wouldn't the Astro Zombie be the creature in the pyramid that was chasing the protagonist and trying to eat him?

I don't think we should be helping you get to the center of this maze!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:24 AM on March 31, 2008


Were you the one that reenacted those coke photos?
posted by box at 9:25 AM on March 31, 2008


> I began my mission, dodging ancient mummies and flying spikes.

In my dreams, I'm a viking Howard Carter.
posted by ardgedee at 9:25 AM on March 31, 2008


Were you the one that reenacted those coke photos?

Oh yes.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:27 AM on March 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


Wouldn't the Astro Zombie be the creature in the pyramid that was chasing the protagonist and trying to eat him?

The earth-destroying evil was a team of archaeologists.
posted by agropyron at 9:28 AM on March 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


I had a dream that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama met me in the Kansas City Hyatt Regency and listened to my concerns over how they were running their campaigns. Hillary took issue with some of the things I said and left for a moment -- and Kathleen Sebelius went with her. But they came back a minute or two later and heard me out. They then thanked me for my candor and had me escorted out of the conference room, and my wife and I took the elevator up to our room, but the way the elevator worked was that it was a huge fan and it blew you up to whichever floor you were on. Then we went swimming and then I woke up.
posted by cog_nate at 9:29 AM on March 31, 2008


I had the same dream once, except I used Yahoo! Answers and I died instantly.
posted by brain_drain at 9:30 AM on March 31, 2008 [12 favorites]




I believe there was once a very interesting thread about Metafilter dreams. Many of us have had them and it's pretty amazing, when you think about it. We're not just pixels on a page to our subconscious selves, I guess.
posted by Lynsey at 9:32 AM on March 31, 2008


How is mummy formed?
posted by cog_nate at 9:33 AM on March 31, 2008 [9 favorites]


I had a dream that I was in line with Robert Caldwell, a kid I knew in school, and he was giving my son a hard time. I whacked Robert Caldwell in the hip with a shovel I just happened to be carrying. We were then able to complete our Scholastic Book purchase unmolested. I didn't need AskMeFi to figure my way out of that one!
posted by Daddy-O at 9:33 AM on March 31, 2008


Take a fish
And a potato
Hold the fish
And the potato
In your hand
In your hand

Put the potato
In the fish
Make it digest it
Smash it up
Smash it up

Smash it up
Smash it up

This is how you make fishcakes
This is how one makes fishcakes
Smash it up
Poke it up

Fishcakes
Fishcakes
Fishcakes
Fishcakes

Put it down the fish
Put it down the fish
Throw it against the wall
Stamp on the fish

Fishcakes
Fishcakes
Fishcakes
Fishcakes

Throw it on the wall
Smash it on the wall
Throw it on the wall
Smash it on the wall

Fishcakes
Fishcakes
posted by mds35 at 9:38 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I checked Ask Yahoo and apparently your pyramid is gay, and u r too. Also they've misspelled "pyramid".
posted by Artw at 9:39 AM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Do Astro Zombies dream of ambulatory mutton?
posted by TheNewWazoo at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


i dreamed i had a fish. in my pants. then it burned me in my tank, cut off it's right fin and screamed "smock smock smock!".
posted by quonsar at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Man, that's a lot better than my dream I had the other night.

Maybe I should have AskedMeFi why John Cusack was there.
posted by fnord at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2008


Was it the dream where you're standing on top of this pyramid in sort of sun-god robes and a thousand naked women were screaming and throwing little pickles at you? Why am I the only one with that dream?
posted by mattbucher at 9:41 AM on March 31, 2008 [7 favorites]


We're not just pixels on a page to our subconscious selves, I guess.

Probably not, but if we regularly spend time in just about any milieu our dreams will start to reflect aspects of it as deeper processes start to work out all the extra bits we don't really need. Think of most of your dreams as brain-shitting.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:41 AM on March 31, 2008


a brain-shitting elephant.
posted by quonsar at 9:42 AM on March 31, 2008


I've seen this movie.
posted by trondant at 9:44 AM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed you all lived downstairs.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:48 AM on March 31, 2008 [13 favorites]


......you mean.... in the basement? Gulp!
posted by Wilder at 9:53 AM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed you all lived downstairs.
posted by jessamyn at 11:48 AM


That would be a nightmare!
posted by Daddy-O at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2008


The snarks are coming from inside the house!
posted by homunculus at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2008 [8 favorites]


......you mean.... in the basement?

In chains. And when we're unruly, she deletes our food and water.
posted by matteo at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


Um did you ever think of Googling? "How do I get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?" has about eleventeen trazillion returns.
posted by iconomy at 10:05 AM on March 31, 2008


I had a dream. I had an awesome dream. There were people in the park playing games after dark. And (this is weird) what they played was a masquerade. From behind the walls of doubt a voice was crying out.

Damnedest thing.
posted by COBRA! at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


COBRA! - If you woke up from your dream with an awesome idea for a play about a play involving a king in yellow you can save it – I’ve seen that play and it was RUBBISH.
posted by Artw at 10:11 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Says you.
posted by COBRA! at 10:23 AM on March 31, 2008


Last night I dreamed I was in some sort of underwater installation in the future, tasked with going out in a dive suit and collecting samples of simple life forms in order for our researchers to try to find some way to revitalize the surface of the planet I assume to be Earth. I don't know what happened to life on the surface, but whatever it was drove us deep below the sea. The other people in the sanctuary though were not overly saddened by whatever had taken place. Mostly they seemed happy and invigorated with the challenge of returning life to the surface, and went about their work with great enthusiasm.

Partway through the experience I was notified that I was to receive a new research partner, a young girl from somewhere else, so I take that to mean that there were other enclaves of humanity surviving elsewhere. This girl was very special. She had received special training and was able to use some sort of psychic powers to enable us to become far more productive at our work. She was incredible. Young, I'd say around 12, but mentally she was far and away more mature and capable than any of us "regular" humans. She had the optimism and energy of a young person, but none of the frivolity one would expect from a young person, or negativity and preconceived notions of an adult. She seemed to understand perfectly that she had great powers and great responsibilities. It was my charge to assist her and help facilitate her work.

Shortly after we began a sample collection mission, the alert sounded and we had to hasten to a vast chamber deep within our sanctuary. The adversaries were coming to attack us. The chamber had numerous openings in the walls that these sort of dark, humanoid-like creates came forth from. My job was to toss some sort of grenades at the creatures, timing it so not to actually hurt them, but just to scare them back into the openings in the wall. This time though, there were far too many. We were being overrun. Arcs of electricity crackled all around us as the situation grew out of control. We were on the verge of losing everything.

I took a dramatic step that I do not understand, of throwing a special metal disk into the arcing lightning and initiating a terrible process that jeopardized the integrity of the entire mission, but it was the only way I could save us. It was as if I was wiping out all our work, forcing us back in time to when we first awoke in our sanctuary. The lightning filled my field of vision, and many people screamed. Eventually the electricity overcame all other perception, and my consciousness slowly drifted back to a neutral state. My dream-self awoke, looking into the face of a kindly older man wearing elaborate yellow and blue robes. He smiled when he saw me awake, and spoke gentle words. He reassured me that I had done the right thing and that, while the loss of the station was unfortunate, the work could be reclaimed, in time.

After this I woke up, and lay in my bed in awe. This was the second time I've had this exact dream. I want to go back.
posted by BeerFilter at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Push the button.
posted by geekyguy at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2008


......you mean.... in the basement?

In chains. And when we're unruly, she deletes our food and water.


"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."
posted by ericb at 10:33 AM on March 31, 2008


But I'm tired of rubbing the lotion on my skin. If I get any more moisturized, I'm going to become a puddle.
posted by jonmc at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed jessamyn lived in the attic.
posted by Doohickie at 10:39 AM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I dreamed I posted to AskMetafilter in my Maidenform Bra.

It was a question about my man-boobs.
posted by turaho at 10:41 AM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


My dream:

INT: AN INNER CITY GYM, NEW YORK. NIGHT.
Jofus:
You're not thinking I'm someone else?

Astro Zombie:
I know you are not.

Jofus:
Or that we have met before?

Astro Zombie:
I know we have not.

Jofus:
I felt I knew something-never-before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is ...

Astro Zombie (interrupting) :
My hands are so cold.
[He takes them in his]
Yours too.
[He moves her hands to his face.]
So warm.
[She moves his hands to her face.]

Jofus:
Yours, too...

Astro Zombie:
But of course. They are the same.

Jofus:
It's so much to believe. You're not joking me?

Astro Zombie:
I have not yet learned how to joke that way. I think how I never will.

THEY DANCE WILDLY. FADE OUT.
posted by Jofus at 10:42 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


No. Wait. That was West Side Story.
posted by Jofus at 10:44 AM on March 31, 2008


You weren't dreaming
posted by junkbox at 10:45 AM on March 31, 2008


ASTRO ZOMBIE = LARA CROFT
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:47 AM on March 31, 2008


Thread needs more some pictures.
posted by Cranberry at 10:47 AM on March 31, 2008


I had a dream I could buy myself a meetup. When I awoke, I spent that on some spirits.
I told Matt I'd be back in a second. Man it's so hard not to post lyrics.
posted by cashman at 10:53 AM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed that a file server at work crashed.

I need to get out more.
posted by Skorgu at 10:55 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I dreamed that I won a Nobel Prize for a theory that I concieved while watching feminine hygiene commercials: that women are full of blue water. That's why they have boobies, they're really storage tanks.
posted by jonmc at 11:02 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dear Yahoo! Answers, how do I get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:03 AM on March 31, 2008


How do I get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?

I'm at the base of a pyramid, and there is something earth-destroying in the pyramid, like an ancient God-like evil. I have to work my way through the booby trapped maze of the pyramid to reach the evil before it awakes. Time is a factor. TIA
posted by Astro Zombie to MetaFilter-related at 3:05 AM (38 comments total) [add to favorites] [!] 69 users marked this as a favorite

Are you high?
posted by matteo at 3:07 AM on March 31 [13 favorites +] [!]

Push the button.
posted by geekyguy at 3:09 AM on March 31 [+] [!]

The spikes can be avoided by grabbing the nearby rope and swinging over them. Then spell out QUONSAR on the tiles. Spear traps abound, use caution.
posted by Stephen C. De Middlin at 3:09 AM on March 31 [+] [!]

WAIT! The rope is a trap also, and will deposit you on the spikes! Use mathowie's SSN as the code in the hidden keypad behind the off-colored block to your left to disable them! Also remember that QUONSAR translates to FISHPANTS in Hermitosian!
posted by Miko at 3:10 AM on March 31 [+] [!]

(A few comments deleted -- please take your desire to see Earth destroyed to Metatalk)
posted by jessamyn at 3:10 AM on March 31 [+] [!]

posted by waraw at 11:08 AM on March 31, 2008 [17 favorites]


I totally failed at building a fountain for my hermit crabs. The silicone never sealed the acrylic completely and Sunday morning I found the entire sand portion flooded with the crabs huddled on top of the climbing bark like a crab Katrina or something. Fraking awful.

I give up. I'm just gonna put some tupperware in there for a water dish. I know now that I was wrong to want nice things.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:09 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I guess you were probably glad you didn't waste your weekly askme on some question about a silly old rash, or whether you should eat that thing mouldering in the back of your fridge.
posted by Dave Faris at 11:10 AM on March 31, 2008


And did the pyramid have wifi, or was it equipped with an ethernet port?
posted by Dave Faris at 11:11 AM on March 31, 2008


I can't sleep any more. It's too much like death.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:14 AM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed that padraigin told me off for posting drunk all the time, and it made me sad.
(I don't post drunk all the time, and I don't know padraigin at all.) In my dream I think padraigin was a penguin, posting under a pseudonym, but still his/her denunciation stung.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:18 AM on March 31, 2008


I dream the world down to a blade of grass every morning just before I awaken. While I go about my day, oblivious, the people arrive and break everything. I consume it all every night before bed, from a plate, along with a glass of milk. Mice take the crumbs I leave.

Every year or so I clean out the walls and find the mice have built a world out of my crumbs, bits of vibrant sea mashed into cathedral spires, great canyons shot into skies of purple gorse, quiet little corners of lake districts stacked together in months of crumbs.

I hold onto this rambling mouse world until the night before your birthday, and even though it's old, and stale, and held together with mouse glue, I eat it. Then, on the morning of your birthday, I dream the world, and every forgotten crumb is there again. The world is perfect, just for you, and every blade of grass is greener than yesterday.

Happy birthday.
posted by breezeway at 11:27 AM on March 31, 2008 [9 favorites]


I've dreamed I was on MetaTalk, but then my dreamlife is absurdly boring. A typical dream of mine is that I'm walking on a street near my house that I walk frequently in real life, and I meet a friend of mine that lives not too far away. I ask him what he's up to and he tells me he's going to Whole Foods to get some vegetables for a soup. I ask why he's going to the Whole Foods near where I live when there's another one right by his place. He tells me they're doing inventory over there. Then we each go our separate ways.

For me, real life is an exciting break from the boredom of my dreams.
posted by Kattullus at 11:32 AM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm glad I never had to rely on this place in such a contingency: there'd be three totally different highly convincing answers posted in the first hour, and then the correct one would come up five minutes after the hidden rotating blade had just sliced my head off.
posted by Phanx at 11:53 AM on March 31, 2008


I, too, have pretty banal dreams. Not, like, evil banal, just banal. Never pyramids, maybe a booby once every quarter or so.
posted by everichon at 12:08 PM on March 31, 2008


Aren't you supposed to post this tomorrow?

I had the weirdest dream I've had in a long time - even stranger than the dream of the giant mermaid things that trampled the pyramids of glowing lights-that-were-people, even weirder than the dream of the giant tuba. So weird I can't put it into words...
posted by Mister_A at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed that i won an alleycat race through my town, and then everybody got raging drunk and took the town over. I as the winner of the race was able to keep the mob in order somehow (perhaps it was the leftovers of my birthday magic.) I was king for a day. The whole dream had a Brian Eno soundtrack.
posted by schyler523 at 12:19 PM on March 31, 2008


Winning an alleycat is pretty rad. If you can do this, you should. Afterwards you must get drunk outdoors.
posted by Mister_A at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2008


I no longer dream.

I lay motionless on my king sized but utterly featureless bed on top of it's plain white sheets perfectly tucked and ironed. And there I stare into the formless static of the night listening to the faintest hum of the environmental controls simulating the gas mixtures of my home world.

While this pathetic insignificant orb circles it's insignificant star I go unblinking and without thought until the proper intensity of dawn light filters in through the massive curtain-less rose-window of my bed chamber.

Light which then activates the implants that restart the device that mimics the quaint inferior organ you people call a heart.

posted by tkchrist at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2008


squirtle im dying
posted by boo_radley at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2008


*hugs tkchrist*
posted by Mister_A at 12:24 PM on March 31, 2008


There's a two-for-one deal on Marlboro Virginia Blend at my corner store.

Damn. We *never* get two-for-one offers on cigarettes. We have to fly to France or Spain or somewhere and bring 'em back by the caseful.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:25 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


The night before last I dreamt that I met languagehat, but his head looked like this.
posted by paduasoy at 12:33 PM on March 31, 2008


Maybe I should have AskedMeFi why John Cusack was there.

John Cusack is in all my best dreams... Mmmmmm (sigh).
posted by amyms at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2008


Astro Zombie: Mr. Cow...

Mr. Cow: Yeeeeesss?

Astro Zombie: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?

Mr. Cow: I don't know, I always end up biting. Ask Mr. Fox, for he's much clever than I.

Astro Zombie: Mr. Fox, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?

Mr. Fox: Why don't you ask Mr. Turtle, for he's been around a lot longer than I? Me, heheh, I bite.

Astro Zombie: Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?

Mr. Turtle: I've never even made it without biting. Ask Mr. Owl, for he is the wisest of us all.

Astro Zombie: Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?

Mr. Owl: A good question. Let's find out. One... two-HOO... three..
(crunch sound effect)

Mr. Owl: Three!

Astro Zombie: If there's anything I can't stand, it's a smart owl.

Narrator: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a booby trapped pyramid maze?
(crunch sound effect)

Narrator: The world may never know.

Mr. Owl: Oh, and get off my fucking lawn.
posted by not_on_display at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2008


I have never ever dreamed about this place.
posted by konolia at 1:08 PM on March 31, 2008


So uh... Is this where the open thread is?

Oh, that's next door?

This is the porn addicts meeting? Whoa... am I in the wrong place... Heh. *sits down*.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 1:13 PM on March 31, 2008


I totally failed at building a fountain for my hermit crabs.

I would suggest reading an old George R R Martin book, Sandkings. It will clarify your relationship to your hermit crabs.
posted by mwhybark at 1:19 PM on March 31, 2008


I've often had dreams that pertained to events that happened later that day. Was I influencing events or were they portents?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:30 PM on March 31, 2008


You're just sleeping way too far in the future, Burhanistan.
posted by not_on_display at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2008


All my dreams inevitably end with me having to get up to pee. enlarged prostate. sucks.
posted by netbros at 1:33 PM on March 31, 2008


I know I have had at least one dream that involved the flag queue. The admin alerts are getting out of hand.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:33 PM on March 31, 2008


jessamyn: "I dreamed you all lived downstairs."
That was no dream.
posted by dg at 1:38 PM on March 31, 2008


Dear AskMe:

I'm trapped in a corn field maze and I can't get out. I've been here for days and my boyfriend says if I make all left hand turns we should find the exit, but it still hasn't worked. Is it even safe to eat the corn? I'm starving!

Also, how do I get out?!?!
posted by yeti at 1:39 PM on March 31, 2008


I had the same dream, but had used my up question for the week.
posted by bonaldi at 1:50 PM on March 31, 2008


I once had a dream where I was jessamyn's sidekick and we did sort of a Nancy Drew adventure at what I think was Smith College. It was great!
posted by Riverine at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2008


I dreamed you all lived downstairs.

Why doncha come down and see me sometime?
posted by Señor Grumpus at 1:56 PM on March 31, 2008


dg: "jessamyn: "I dreamed you all lived downstairs."
That was no dream.
"

and I meant to add:
This is why we want sign-ups closed. It's getting crowded down here!
posted by dg at 2:04 PM on March 31, 2008


I got the Babel Fish.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 2:07 PM on March 31, 2008


I often dream of trains. When I'm alone.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 2:11 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I dreamed of posting my site in an FPP which immediately leaped to the top of Google's results for important key words.*

* "Nocturnal emission" doesn't even begin to describe it...
posted by maxwelton at 2:14 PM on March 31, 2008


I'm so confused.

This morning I recieved an e-mail:

"Last night I dreamed that [your partner] told me 'In case you haven't guessed, [anotherpanacea] and I are swingers. We're in it for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.'"

Last night I slept the untroubled sleep of the just.
posted by anotherpanacea at 2:44 PM on March 31, 2008


I dream about mefi all the time. I also dream that there's this other site that's even more awesome than mefi, run by a guy named Mike. In these dreams I have forgotten about this site until someone reminds me and then I'm like "how could I have forgotten Mike's site?"

I once had a dream that I was driving to a meetup in a tiny little soapbox car and I could tell who else was going to the meetup because they had tiny little soapbox cars with their usernames on the license plates.
posted by Biblio at 2:52 PM on March 31, 2008


"Nocturnal SEOmissions" is so the name of my next blog.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:54 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Anyone else have dreams about being murdered by Hitler? No?
posted by puke & cry at 2:59 PM on March 31, 2008


Eeeen Sowiet Russia, MetaFilter dream about you.
posted by not_on_display at 3:03 PM on March 31, 2008


I've tried the "C'mon, do it for the KATRINA VICTIMS!" line. Doesn't work.
posted by waraw at 3:05 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I once had a dream that I had sex with George Clooney, and he gave me a signed certificate saying that I had sex with him. I put it on my wall and showed everyone who came to my house.

I've had dreams about Ask MeFi, too, but those are kinda boring.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:07 PM on March 31, 2008


As an actual Katrina victim, I've gotten a lot of play.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:16 PM on March 31, 2008


"As an actual Katrina victim, I've gotten a lot of play."

Owning a 45 of "Walking on Sunshine" doesn't make you a victim.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:45 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'll have what he's having.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 3:47 PM on March 31, 2008


Owning a 45 of "Walking on Sunshine" doesn't make you a victim.

Have you listened to that song lately?
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:50 PM on March 31, 2008


Bounded in a nutshell. Would like to count myself a king of infinite space, but can't, for some reason. Please advise.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:00 PM on March 31, 2008


I was once out strolling one very hot summer's day
When I thought I'd lay myself down to rest in a bit field of tall grass.
I lay there in the sun and felt it caressing my face.
As I fell asleep and dreamed,
I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie,
And that I was the star of the movie.


Unfortunately, I have never spilled that wine and thus, I am the swine that pearls are cast before, but there ya go. I like to eat fish (not in people's pants, egads, but it sounds interesting enough) and I love oysters on the half-shell, but by GOD, I have never spilled my wine.

Thank you for sharing Astro Zombie. and thank you double for starting this very cool thread. I wish I lived downstairs from Jessamyn. I'd bake bread for everyone and feed them soup and make them pee in the toilet instead of on the floor. We'd have an Egyptian cat named Buster and he'd scratch the shit out of anyone who tried to pet him but us housemates.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:20 PM on March 31, 2008


Owning a 45 of "Walking on Sunshine" doesn't make you a victim.

Have you listened to that song lately?


Guys, Do You Want Crying? Look, I'm Crying!
posted by jonmc at 4:44 PM on March 31, 2008


Um, does anyone here own 45's still?

I have Soak Up the Sun on my iPod (guilty). But I'm a girl, I can cry all I want and jonmc can cry with me because it's the Irish, so g'wan with yer bird-eggin'!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:55 PM on March 31, 2008


I think the sansgras thread is broken.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:56 PM on March 31, 2008


Um, does anyone here own 45's still?

Look who you're asking. If I had a Victrola, I'd still buy 78s.
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on March 31, 2008


Last night I actually died in a dream for the second time ever. Usually I wake up just before.

The first time, I was waiting on a pier for some friends to come off of a submarine that was tied up there. We were going to go to dinner, and for some reason it was taking them a long time. I went onto the boat, and as soon as I got inside, it looked wrong. Half the lights were out, most of the rest were blinking - standard horror movie scene. The deck was all slanted like the aft end was sinking. The ventilation was off, which is usually the first indication of some sort of engineering problem when you're up forward. I could hear some sort of commotion back aft toward the engine room, but up forward everyone was just sitting around all calmly like nothing was going on. I had everyone get out of the boat and then headed on aft to see wtf. When I got into the engine room, it was just a big cavernous tube, like you'd imagine the inside of a submarine would look before they made the inside. A bunch of debris at the bottom and a couple of feet of standing water. I made my way all the way to the back (farthest from the door), and turned around just in time to see the water start pouring in from the top near the front. Pouring in fast, like the flooding scene in the beginning of The Abyss (a scene that still to this day gives me the creeps). I remember as the water washed over me and I sank to the bottom, the peacefulness, the distant light with the lens flare up over head. I remember trying to get out, then giving up, and dying. I remember thinking, "Well, shit. I guess I'm dead." - not as a prediction, but as a completed fact.

This time, I had the exact same dream again, but I knew what was going to happen, and I went and got killed on purpose, because it was such an awesome experience, that peaceful moment.

I hope that doesn't mean anything, you know, psychologically.
posted by ctmf at 4:59 PM on March 31, 2008


Ok,

You're either in Desert of Desolation, in which case you should avoid the falling coconuts;
the Hidden Shrine of Tamochan, in which case you should stuff rags in your ears lest you encounter the Gibbering Mouther;
or the Tomb of Horrors in which case you should throw yourself into the nearest spiked pit, lest the horror go on much longer.

(I've only once ever had a dream where I was adventuring with honest-to-god elves and dwarves, and it was the BEST THING EVER, so I'm happy for you)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:06 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Look who you're asking. If I had a Victrola, I'd still buy 78s.

My dad has a Victrola and I had Alvin and the Chipmunks on 78, among others, because my sterio played 33/45/78. I also remember Dr. Demento.

Shaving cream has never been the same since.

You just need a good record player, man, not a Victrola! Jesus, even I'm not that old!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 5:13 PM on March 31, 2008


I had a dream that people knew the proper way to use "its" and "it's," and "your" and "you're," and, miraculously, "their" and "they're" and "there." And apostrophes knew their place, and quotation marks made themselves scarce, and all the unicorns and leprechauns sang in iambic pentameter whilst romping through fields of discarded livejournal poetry.

Also involved lots of George Clooney sex.

It was a happy place.
posted by landedjentry at 5:14 PM on March 31, 2008


"...involved lot's of George..."

Fixed that for ya.
posted by Dizzy at 5:24 PM on March 31, 2008


You just need a good record player, man, not a Victrola!

My old turntable used to play 78's, but my current one dosen't. And that's a drag, because as I've mentioned I work unloading boxes in a well known used bookstore (rhymes with 'one man band') and we sometimes get big lots in from estates where people get crazy and all kind sof non-book stuff winds up in them. We got a binder full old 78s (Ella Fitzgerals, Sinatra, like that). I would've snapped it up if I could've played it. *sniff*

I also remember Dr. Demento.

So do I. I'm an old fart.
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on March 31, 2008


I love that first Yahoo Answers link.

I would add to that they sometimes used ancient mushrooms that emit poisenous gas that remains regardless of the time loop as long as the air is there...

ahahaha

I have fabulous dreams and nightmares both. Once I dreamed I was being mummified alive inside a Valley of the Kings tomb that kept growing smaller, and smaller . . .
posted by Countess Elena at 5:28 PM on March 31, 2008


'one man band'

Duran, Duran? Borders, Barnes and Noble, ???? Japan?

I should have been born blonde, cuz I have no clue, and why did you not just snap up Ella Fitzgerald and how could you have NOT snapped up Old Blue Eyes? Shame on you! Heh. It's all good, even tho' I have Frank compressed on my iPod, man. We have to move with the times, I guess.

Must be witchcraft, that iPod stuff!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 5:42 PM on March 31, 2008


I also remember Dr. Demento.

So do I. I'm an old fart.


He's still broadcasting.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:52 PM on March 31, 2008


I have it all on my iPod, too, lady.

Duran, Duran? Borders, Barnes and Noble, ???? Japan?

*cough*
posted by jonmc at 5:58 PM on March 31, 2008


Contemporary fart, then.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:19 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Is that a New York thing, that bookstore? Cuz I was there once (NYC), in 1982. It was wicked cool. Very tall buildings and people selling things on the sidewalk.

But no one beats Chicago style hot dogs, man. Gimme the poppy seeds and a pickle and I'm totally happy.

Uh. That doesn't sound right but it's true, no matter how you interpret it.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:28 PM on March 31, 2008


Like, by 45 or 78, you're talking bitrates, and not miles per hour or whatever they made cassettes out of, right? Cause, yeah, that'd sound sucky and old and stuff.

***dodging beer bottle***

posted by not_on_display at 6:28 PM on March 31, 2008


Nope, we all used 8-Track back then, not-on-diplay. For instance, my first 8-track was a bright yellow radio that also played my Foreigner 8-track.

On Sunday evenings, I would listen to Dr. Demento, and other days, I'd listen to them-thar FM radidido, ayup.

We Mainers are some stoopid, ayup.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:53 PM on March 31, 2008


It's the celery salt, for me, that makes a loaded-up Chicago-style hot dog the world's best tube steak. I live in Queens, and I gotta say, there ain't a dog in the five boroughs, can compete.

A course, New Jersey's got something going with them Italian-style hot dogs. And there's some famous joint up in Connecticut I have yet to visit that's said to cook a world-class frank. Jonmc said he'd take me there someday.
posted by breezeway at 6:55 PM on March 31, 2008


Celery salt: the Pete Best of the spice-rack.
posted by Dizzy at 7:06 PM on March 31, 2008


Pete Best? Hell, George Best!
posted by breezeway at 7:13 PM on March 31, 2008


Durn Bronzefist - do you play WoW (with a name like that, I probably don't have to ask)? When I'm in a marathon of WoW playing I have pretty intense dreams involving elves, dwarves, etc. It's awesome.

WTF Firefox?! Dwarves is a word!
posted by deborah at 7:25 PM on March 31, 2008


Nah, celery salt is more like Jon Bonham. No, no, more like Carl Palmer. He has more staying power then any of the others, and by god, he is fucking awesome in concert. I saw the Black Moon concert, front row, and he kicked fucking drumming ass while standing.

Carl Palmer is the celery salt of rock. Not quite regular salt, but mighty tasty.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:52 PM on March 31, 2008


Celery salt: extravagantly talented and prematurely louche.
posted by breezeway at 8:09 PM on March 31, 2008


Carl Palmer was on many television screens in the 1980's
posted by not_on_display at 8:09 PM on March 31, 2008


cortex: you were in Scarab of Ra, clearly. Since it's well known that we gream in black and white.
posted by mwhybark at 8:22 PM on March 31, 2008


dream, even.
posted by mwhybark at 8:23 PM on March 31, 2008


do you play WoW (with a name like that, I probably don't have to ask)? When I'm in a marathon of WoW playing I have pretty intense dreams involving elves, dwarves, etc. It's awesome.

Never have, actually. You know, for years after I did just about everything I could to stimulate a dream like that. Yeah, there have been "adventure" dreams, but never involving demi-humans other than that one time. And I would never have guessed just how amazingly awesome it would be.

(though I once spent a dream on the bridge of the Next Gen Enterprise. FUCK was that amazing.)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:27 PM on March 31, 2008


Holy Crap-o-liscious-80-'s! Thanks for that, not_on_display, I'd forgotten about Asia. Heh, the hair, the hair!

I forgot to mention that I was 8 months pregnant with my son when I saw Black Moon. He kicked like crazy during the concert. Now he's not only a kick ass drummer, but a guitar player as well (with a background in horns, trombone and tuba, hey, I played classical music on the radio every day on the way to work, too, just in case).

He now has his own band (at age 15), and his favorite groups are Atreyu and Avenged Sevenfold.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 8:29 PM on March 31, 2008


Damn, it's 80's night with the progrock resurgence!

we listened to a lot of everything when our son was still baking in the oven. He's 12 now. His current favorite group is Nirvana. He's getting the music bug. I wonder what he'll turn out like after he starts really wanting to play stuff.
posted by not_on_display at 9:39 PM on March 31, 2008


Kid's a drummer, digs prog? Has he heard the work of Christian Vander and his band, Magma? I recommend "Attahk" or "Udu Wudu" to start.

How about Otomo Yoshihide? His band/noise-collective Ground Zero is a little weird, even compared to Magma. "Revolutionary Pekingese Opera v. 1.28" is a good start, and the "Consume Red" and "Consummation" pair, while less drummy, feature some wild sujok manipulation.

Ground Zero isn't prog, but Otomo Yoshihide is a killer drummer. Both his and Vander's work show what can happen when a talented drummer takes the helm.
posted by breezeway at 5:59 AM on April 1, 2008


I saw Yes in concert. It was their Union tour, and pretty awesome; however, would have liked to have seen them years ago.

I got my son a Gibson lookalike guitar pretty cheap used, his dad bought him a used set of Premier drums (bright red) and stuck them in his garage, and the horns he learned in school. Nothing better for young boys than whaling on a set of drums. I figure it keeps them from doing stupid stuff like setting things on fire because their friends thought it would be funny. Now he's more into writing songs and learning the guitar (as opposed to the drums) and his uncle is getting him an amp. They've played some gigs, non-paying, but it gives him a real boost (and personally I think his focus should be on school and fun, not work at this age). I think there's a guitar camp somewhere for rock musicians?

This has to be one of my all-time favs, however (I know a guy who named his dog Geddy, heh, that's really hardcore). His dad is a big Zep fan.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:01 AM on April 1, 2008


I've been having this horrible recurring dream where I'm in a pyramid, and it's very dark, there are some hieroglyphs on the wall, and I can almost read them, but as I squint and bring my face right up next to them, I notice that the wall itself is shifting, it's subtle beyond words, but it's definitely happening, the words I'm trying to read are fading into the background. The problem is, if I don't read these words, not only will I never escape, but the souls of every person might be ripped from their bodies by Anubis.

So I frantically try to figure out what to do. Finally, it occurs to me that there is something about this date, I remember reading that all the planets were in alignment, and the very laws of physics would be put on hold and everything else would be affected in unexpected ways.

I take a deep breath, I extinguish my torch, and with all the patience I can muster, I relight it. And thank the gods, I was right, the wall was reacting to the light. Casting it into darkness made the words readable again.

I woke up right before I could read the line that would save us all, but I'm confident that we're going to be ok.
posted by quin at 7:36 AM on April 1, 2008


Nothing better for young boys than whaling on a set of drums.

Is that what they're into these days? I mean, I've heard John Bonham play Moby Dick, but this just sounds dangerous.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:18 AM on April 1, 2008


Nothing better for young boys than whaling on a set of drums.

Where do they hide the harpoon?
posted by amyms at 11:33 AM on April 1, 2008


Last night I found myself working in some kind of metal-working factory. The other employees were mostly psychopaths and they'd already thrown some poor guy down a pit. Fortunately Smedleyman was there too so we could watch each others' backs. We had to fix some kind of huge oven, which meant taking turns crawling inside and working on it while the other stood guard. Some of the others came by to talk (including an old friend who thought it was terribly funny, a hot woman who was flirting with us, and John McCain) but they moved on and left us in peace while we got the oven working again. It wasn't completely fixed, but it was good enough, so we left the building and parted ways. Smed hopped in his car and went wandering randomly around North America while I found myself in a strange town in Southeast Asia. There were riots underway and all the Buddhist monasteries were under siege, so I got the hell out of there and followed a path into the jungle where I started tracking an elephant. The dung made it easy. I knew I spoke fluent elephant somehow and I wanted to chat with the elephant, but I woke up before I found it. Now that I'm awake, I can't remember how to speak elephant.
posted by homunculus at 9:36 AM on April 8, 2008


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