30: Punched in the dick August 8, 2008 10:01 AM   Subscribe

This podcast was recorded on August 1st and covers the month of July on Metafilter. It runs about an hour long.

posted by mathowie (staff) to MeFi Podcast at 10:01 AM (70 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

FYI, it's Sean Tevis, not Steve Tevis.
posted by mattbucher at 10:18 AM on August 8, 2008

This is fucking surreal.. It's weird hearing podcasters talk about me, especially when their WRONG! Haha.. Punch 'Em In The Dick was not inspired in any way by the Murky Coffee incident, I hadn't even heard of it until after I posted this..
posted by mediocre at 10:22 AM on August 8, 2008

Also, though I enjoyed the music post greatly, I don't know Royal Quiet Deluxe.. But thanks for the mention!
posted by mediocre at 10:23 AM on August 8, 2008

Wow, that's really totally strange then.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:35 AM on August 8, 2008

It's funny because it's like the third time I've seen/heard someone say that it was about Murky Coffee..

But honestly, thanks.. MetaFilter has been very kind to this song..
posted by mediocre at 10:45 AM on August 8, 2008

er........ so you're not doing the scholarship then ? I guess as this is the last month before classes begin you would have announced it on the podcast right ?

Ah well.
posted by sgt.serenity at 10:47 AM on August 8, 2008

Agreed, mediocre, it's quite surreal. I had always hoped I'd be noticed for my biting wit and brilliant insights, but I'll settle for being the total prude.

Also, I'm a guy. *sighs, slinks off to lurk more...*
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:09 AM on August 8, 2008

Whoever hated on awesome needs to be punched in the dick.
posted by drezdn at 11:15 AM on August 8, 2008

I think we determined the elephant skin was that of Jumbo, the Barnum elephant that was killed in a train crash and later stuffed. Although, frankly, the photot looks too new to me.

I will, however, simply pretend that it was an elephant that died of natural causes and got stuffed, rather than a noble beast who was killed for his skin.

Anyway, he's probably be dead by now anyway.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:17 AM on August 8, 2008

wow, we're going to put our our own errata podcast for this one. I apologize for
  • not knowing 1f2frfbr was a dude
  • Getting stevis' real name wrong
  • assuming mediocre was friends with Royal Quiet Deluxe
Should I start my own apology MeTa?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:23 AM on August 8, 2008

"wow, we're going to put our our own errata podcast for this one."

Sounds to me like management needs a punch in the dick.

And mediocre too, for creating the earworm which is currently haunting my every waking moment
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:27 AM on August 8, 2008

not knowing 1f2frfbr was a dude

It's not getting any better...
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:33 AM on August 8, 2008

...red fish, blue rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfish.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:49 AM on August 8, 2008

In fairness, that beard on your profile illustration is pretty feminine.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:49 AM on August 8, 2008

In total fairness, last week it was a different image, therein may lie the confusion.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:53 AM on August 8, 2008

if I start apologizing for typos, we'll be here all day.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:54 AM on August 8, 2008

The word "if" should have been capitalized.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:06 PM on August 8, 2008

(Psst! Astro Zombie! Your suspicions are correct: the elephant skin photo is from the American Museum of Natural History's collection, previously posted by peacay. Aside from the fact that the ear looks like an Asian elephant's, the picture is listed as being taken in 1933, so it ain't Jumbo.

The AMNH does have Jumbo's skeleton, but Jumbo's skin was stuffed and mounted, and Barnum donated it to Tufts University in 1889. It was lost in a fire in 1975, but Jumbo's ashes are kept in a Peter Pan Crunchy Peanut Butter jar in the office of Tufts' athletic director, and his tail is in the University Archives.)
posted by steef at 12:06 PM on August 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

You're here all day anyway, right?
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 12:06 PM on August 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Where is the sidebar archived?
posted by Skorgu at 12:16 PM on August 8, 2008

posted by juv3nal at 12:22 PM on August 8, 2008

The sidebar lives in Blogger; I don't know if we have any sort of way to link to the whole big thing, though it'd be keen to have it available in my opinion.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:58 PM on August 8, 2008

Jumbo was the elephant killed in St. Thomas, Ontario, by a train, right? That would've been something to see, I imagine.

I'd always heard that the crowds basically, uh, took pieces of Dumbo with them. I even know someone whose father (living in St. Thomas) apparently has his toenail or something. So keep that in mind. There's a little bit of Jumbo...all over the place.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:59 PM on August 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

After the completion of the show, as Matthew Scott guided Tom Thumb and Jumbo along the tracks, a loud whistle announced an impending doom. An unscheduled express train, unable to stop, hit Tom Thumb, scooping him up on its cowcatcher and knocking him down a steep embankment. Jumbo, who was leading Tom Thumb was caught between the embankment and circus train and had no place to flee. He was hit from the rear.

Ouch! I would not want an express train up the butt.

And, as if a giant elephant getting a train up the caboose weren't surreal enough, there's also a flying little person involved, scooped up on the cowcatcher. Wow.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:03 PM on August 8, 2008

The Tom Thumb referred to was another elephant, not the famous little human person.
posted by yhbc at 1:12 PM on August 8, 2008

Well there goes that mental image!
posted by stinkycheese at 1:14 PM on August 8, 2008

Awesome podcast, BTW.
posted by fixedgear at 1:34 PM on August 8, 2008

Matt, you always sound so put off when you have to say "xkcd." :-)
posted by danb at 1:53 PM on August 8, 2008

Oh, and triathlon attracts bad swimmers? No, it's a magnet for horrible bike handlers. I see those aerobars and behind-the-saddle-water-bottle-holder and I just wanna ride away as fast as possible.
posted by fixedgear at 2:13 PM on August 8, 2008

I had not placed Iced Coffee dick punching together with Mediocre's effort. I am now informed. I'm not sure if this is a good thing as a punch to the dick should come out of nowhere for maximum learnage. Perhaps I am wrong.
posted by Sparx at 3:01 PM on August 8, 2008

mediocre has repeatedly denied that rumor. His dickpunch does in fact come out of nowhere. So watch your dick, sucker!

Also, I totally mentioned the "Awesome" thing before the English dude. I'd look up the old podcast thread if I weren't so lazy.
posted by languagehat at 3:26 PM on August 8, 2008

Jessamyn- it is 69 degrees up here on broadway in Seattle. I think I will stop by vivace and dick's and get a "rowdy librarian" (a name i just made up for a double espresso on a dick's chocolate milkshake).
posted by mrzarquon at 3:35 PM on August 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Jessamyn -- just to clarify here: I am both the "espresso incident" guy and the guy in Royal Quiet Deluxe. Both of those situations involve the same blog. In fact, the posts went up the same week. I don't know any of the folks who commented on the MeFi music post personally.

Thanks for the double-mention, guys. One thread I see running through both of these incidents is an apparent tendency toward theatrical overreaction ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 4:34 PM on August 8, 2008

Oh, you're the Murky Coffee guy? I feel like we're somehow connected, being that so many people think the song was inspired by your plight..
posted by mediocre at 6:04 PM on August 8, 2008

Woo! My first podcast mention. I'd just like to clarify two things. Unfortunately, I am not actually a Meflibrarian as Jessamyn claims, not that there's anything wrong with being a code monkey. Secondly, I owe the post entirely to the awesome soon-ish-to-be Mrs. Deathalicious, currently getting a degree in Library Science here in philly, who told me about it (apparently it was mentioned on a recent ALA bulletin).
posted by Deathalicious at 6:38 PM on August 8, 2008

I think it's great y'all put mediocre's tune on the podcast this month. It just hadn't gotten enough attention yet... ;-)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:14 PM on August 8, 2008

You're here all day anyway, right?

No, actually.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:37 PM on August 8, 2008

More errata:

While Apple was hella late in releasing an updated version of BIND through their Software Update system, it only affected people running DNS servers. It affected a bunch of system administrators who clicked the button to turn on BIND in OS X Server. It did not affect every little dork with a MacBook.

And 'OpenDNS' is neither actually Open nor working DNS — by default they hijack all unregistered domains to show web ads, redirect Google, etc.
posted by blasdelf at 11:21 PM on August 8, 2008

blasdelf- actually, clients are also vulnerable to the attack, but DNS servers are much bigger targets right now (the low hanging fruit) because to compromise a network, you just need to get the dns server cache compromised. Now you have to target individual machines again, but that isn't too hard. One of my favorite scenarios is the page full of lolcats hosted on a compromised server:

Page has embedded javascript and other misc. links loading to aaaaa.google.com aaaab.google.com, etc.

User loads the page (they got it in an email from their mom, they are on a mac, and know they are invulnerable to any such exploits), the server picks up their IP, and knows they will be running DNS queries to lookup all of those domain names, and that, even with the current patched client, they are still just incrementing outbound port numbers, so the evil server has a very good idea of the range of ports to blast *its* answer for abcdf.google.com with an in balliwick response saying "oh, btw, google.com is also hosted on this evil server".

user then goes to load gmail to send that cute lolcat page to his other friends, and instead of his client doing a dns lookup, it already a cached result for what google.com is, so send him to the bad server instead.

Since google.com has a non SSL equipped landing page, the user wouldn't notice and might be a little miffed they have to re-enter their password again, but whatever, its happens sometimes.

Before, such an exploit would have compromised the dns server (as it would be doing the lookups on behalf of the client) and all the users who rely on it. Now it has to be more resource intensive on the hacker side, as they have to poison each users cache (which also has a shorter ttl).

Of course, I would right now build and target DNS servers that poison one specific host: support.apple.com. The server would actually be a transparent proxy for everything except one group of pages: the knowledge base articles for the recent security patches. The only alterations on those pages would be the links to the download (the actually apple patch, but with an added mkpg to include my payload) and the checksums, generated from my compromised patches.

Since Apple does *not* currently check certificates or codesigning for .pkg files (there appears to be a framework in place for it, but it is yet to be implemented), all the user has to go on to verify that this security update is valid is that they are downloading it from what they think is an apple.com server (which are actually akami mirrors all over the world, so they can't really verify that) and that the page that is providing them the checksum isn't compromised.

Of course, when you do a softwareupdate, it does check for a cryptographic signature of the file that (supposedly) cannot be faked, but more people wanting to be 'extra secure' would actually download the file from support.apple.com and compare the checksum themselves. Again, happily installing your file, compromising their system for you.

So in fact it can compromise every little dork with a macbook.

(Also, we can talk about the OSA script privilege escalation, aka ARDAgent.app escalation, which took 3 months for a fix to come out, and there was no notice about it in the meantime. Just a hope that no one figured out a local code execution exploit, two of which were patched in 10.5.4 along with a few more the latest update, that could be coupled with the privilege escalation and own the box. The it truly would be as simple as visiting a webpage in safari and your system was pwn3d)
posted by mrzarquon at 11:47 PM on August 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Fun with Levellator: mp3 & picture of relative levels. It's generally louder.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:20 AM on August 9, 2008

I don't think all the music folks are friends just because we're commenting on each other's work -- of course, I don't have any friends, so I'm bound to think that.
posted by davejay at 12:49 AM on August 9, 2008

Pronoiac: Thank you! I listen to the podcast while driving - makes it hard to follow the links but whatever, people swerve out of the way - and having to constantly having to ramp the volume up while Matt is talking and down while Jessamyn is talking gets a little hectic sometimes.
Especially when I'm eating a hamburger.
posted by disclaimer at 7:05 AM on August 9, 2008

Yeah, I was actually planning to give the podcast output a final compression pass for Matt earlier this week but got waylaid by life and a few different kinds of Stupid.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:39 AM on August 9, 2008

mathowie, your levels were so low in the middle of so many utterances that you were unlistenable and unintelligible even at maximum volume.
posted by joeclark at 7:53 AM on August 9, 2008

Metafilter: unlistenable and unintelligible even at maximum volume.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:42 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: waylaid by life and a few different kinds of Stupid.
posted by mrzarquon at 12:58 PM on August 9, 2008

Hey, disclaimer, you're welcome.

joeclark: You might try the Levellated one I posted.

cortex: Which software would you use for compression, anyway?
posted by Pronoiac at 1:44 PM on August 9, 2008

Default? The compression/limiting stuff built into Audition. It's not fancy, but it does in fact do a functional job of compressing and limiting.

In theory, I'd like to find a nice simple way to do it in Garageband, now that I've got a Mac, but I haven't spent enough time with it to even know my way around yet and so I'm still chafing at all the things that are Different From What I Want.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:17 PM on August 9, 2008

Here is a good starting point for podcasts in Garageband.
posted by mrzarquon at 6:29 PM on August 9, 2008

this is actually a much better (and less lame) starting point by apple. Also this should be a good starting point.
posted by mrzarquon at 6:31 PM on August 9, 2008

I just updated the file on the podcast server with the levelated one by Pronoiac. Maybe I'll just fire up a virtual windows session and use that app from now on. Thanks Pronoiac!
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:45 PM on August 10, 2008

Dear American Cousins,

I am a middle class English gentleman and I say Awesome all the time.
Despite what you may have been told in London, this is not frowned upon.

If you want to get back at the Limey, I suggest you ridicule them for prefacing every statement with "Actually."

best regards,
posted by seanyboy at 1:56 AM on August 11, 2008

But, saying that...

Moaning because a specific coffee shop won't give you exactly what you want. And expecting a certain level of service because "Hey, don't they want to make money?" Now that is an American trait.

You'll have heard this argument every way around, so I'm not going to add to it. Needless to say, Americans are damned fussy about customer service.
posted by seanyboy at 2:03 AM on August 11, 2008

Instead of "Awesome" Matt and Jess should say "Brilliant!" instead. Use it in every sentence. That way it will sound ok to Brits and annoying to Americans.
posted by vacapinta at 6:06 AM on August 11, 2008

I find "awesome" annoying. So, it's as I suspected: I'm not exactly an American anymore.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:29 AM on August 11, 2008

Moaning because a specific coffee shop won't give you exactly what you want... Now that is an American trait.

I think the American way of thinking is that "customer is king" but the thing is that this same precept applies here in Europe. Its just that "customer" doesnt mean "every customer." Its about the customer you want, the customer who appreciates what you are doing. Not just any joe with a dime in his pocket.

For an upcoming trip to Piemonte, I was reading an article about the chef Cesare Giacconi. This is the guy who asked he be removed from the Michelin Guide, something other chefs would kill for. Choice quote:

Then, there were Cesare’s dealings with the Guide Michelin. Awarded a star soon after opening da Cesare at a modest and hard-to-find location in the tiny Piedmont hamlet of Albaretto della Torre, he had called Paris to complain, and begged his name be removed from the famous red directory of Europe’s best restaurants. Michelin, though apparently surprised, reluctantly agreed. However, since there was still almost a year to go before the next edition, Cesare felt obliged to post a sign on his door in several languages warning “If you are here because you read about me in the Guide Michelin, please don't enter.”
posted by vacapinta at 6:47 AM on August 11, 2008

Honestly, I don't think that it's the "customer is king!" that drives me to wonder why someone couldn't get ice on their coffee, it's that generally in the US, no one cares about their job enough to care what crazy request a customer makes. If someone asks for ketchup on their fruit, or peanut butter on their salad or whatever else crazy thing someone might ask for, you'll generally find people working somewhere will just shrug their shoulders and say "well, that sounds crazy but they asked for it, so here..."

It's weird to hear someone make such a big deal out of turning down a personal request like having something over ice. It's not weird that the customer isn't being respected with exactly what they want, the weird part to me is that the barista (and shop owner, more so) is protesting so much over a mild, everyday kind of request.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 7:39 AM on August 11, 2008

Moaning because a specific coffee shop won't give you exactly what you want. And expecting a certain level of service because "Hey, don't they want to make money?" Now that is an American trait.

I find there to be a weird dichotomy, that you're almost as likely to find a hyperentitled customer who feels that whatever they are requesting is valid because they're the always-right customer as you are to find a business establishment who has fairly specific guidelines that they are unyielding about (I see this in both chain-type places that can't diverge from the manual to indie places with "standards" like this coffee place).

In both cases, you're likely to find people on either side who get really realy huffy that things aren't the way they wanted them to be and I find that indignance, more than the positons of either the customer or the shopkeeper, to be the thing I think of as American.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:08 AM on August 11, 2008

Instead of "Awesome" Matt and Jess should say "Brilliant!" instead. Use it in every sentence. That way it will sound ok to Brits and annoying to Americans.

If by "Brits" you means "Fratboys who fucking love those Guinness commercials still after like five fucking years or however long it was when the started airing and yes, okay, they were kind of cute at the time but please stop shouting "Brilliant!" at everything you tiresome bastards, please, I'll give anything just cut it the fuck out", yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:13 AM on August 11, 2008

mathowie: I just updated the file on the podcast server with the levelated one by Pronoiac. Maybe I'll just fire up a virtual windows session and use that app from now on. Thanks Pronoiac!

Aw, shucks. It was nothing.

I keep getting the name wrong - it's Levelator - & it's available for OS X. I run it under Windows because I've been completely unable to work out its dependencies under Debian Linux.
posted by Pronoiac at 10:49 AM on August 11, 2008

Anyone who says Jess's voice is annoying isn't listening through my ears. Jess's voice got me listening the content got me hooked.
posted by Carbolic at 11:03 AM on August 11, 2008


It's wonderful to hear the voices behind the usernames, especially jessamyn's (I would like to say something here but I'd probably embarrass her even more than I already have, so I won't;)), but yeah--can we please have another round of mefites calling in and leaving messages on the podcast?
posted by hadjiboy at 11:06 AM on August 11, 2008

On Preview: what Carbolic said:)
posted by hadjiboy at 11:06 AM on August 11, 2008

I would also like to add that Matt's voice is adorable. In fact, I often use it to "get to sleep". Several times a day.
posted by seanyboy at 12:37 PM on August 11, 2008

Damn. I was too busy trying to be funny to say what I wanted.

There's an irony in Matt's statement about customer led service. We're discussing this on a 5$ website which categorically does things its own way. Metafilter is the site which won't give you a metaphorical expresso with ice and it's better for it.
posted by seanyboy at 12:47 PM on August 11, 2008


Can the four of you refrain from posting right next to each other? It created an authority vortex that would have certainly swallowed the site whole if pb had chimed in.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:11 PM on August 11, 2008

...but on the upside, we could start shopping the filming rights for Cortex's Authority Vortex.

I'll let that one go, but I demand an EP credit on Cortex's Authority Vortex 2: Electric Boogaloo, Cortex's Authority Vortex 3: Authority with a Vengence, and Bride of Cortex's Authority Vortex.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:40 PM on August 11, 2008

How can I tell if I just listened to the fixed up version or not? I came here to say that the 'cast was louder than it's ever been, except when Matt seems to crawl under the desk or something while he's talking. I bet a combo of Proniac's levelator-ma-bob and having pb hold's Matt's head right in front of the mike during the podcast might solve the whole thing forever.

MD5 (30_ Punched in the dick.mp3) = f06b5101d17b564ca5afe3f3933524fc

posted by popechunk at 10:19 AM on August 14, 2008

popechunk: That md5 matches nothing I have, possibly due to helpful podcast software adding id3 info.

If anyone's wondering, it's pronoiac, pronounced pro-NOY-ack.
posted by Pronoiac at 1:39 PM on August 16, 2008

jessamyn, for the record, you sound an awful lot like Sook-Yin Lee, who is AWESOME (in an I-had-a-crush-on-her-when-I-was-twelve kind of way) and non-American.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:10 PM on August 18, 2008

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