Genuine question? November 18, 2008 3:27 AM   Subscribe

Is it just me, or is there something weird about this question and follow up comments.

Newish user asks rambling pedantic question with an emerging set of constraints. It just strikes an insincere note with me, but I can't really see any angle except trolling. Apologies in advance if I am crying wolf and it is just me being out of touch with how the young people are expressing themselves on the information super highway these days.
posted by bystander to Etiquette/Policy at 3:27 AM (117 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

I looked at it, screwed up my face, made an uppy-downy, side to sidey kind of gesture with my right hand and went "Myeeeeah?".

So, in conclusion, it didn't register on my Hink-o-meter.
posted by Jofus at 3:35 AM on November 18, 2008


Sure, it's weird. But I'd love to hear more about your journey from "weird" to "trolling."

*heads up to attic for slide projector, screen*
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 4:00 AM on November 18, 2008


Heh! I love that question. 'Related Questions' reference my AskMe: Tell me about the downside of drinking directly from a camels hump [sic]. The answer was there all along. They should take a camel to school. Unpalatable maybe, but convenient.
posted by tellurian at 4:07 AM on November 18, 2008 [8 favorites]


I guess by trolling I mean an insincere question and follow up responses just asked to provoke annoyance in the replies. I guess I am just having a bit of trouble putting myself in Nighthawk's shoes, and wondered if there was an angle or something I had overlooked that might explain it, or if there was something hinky I was only dimly getting.
posted by bystander at 4:10 AM on November 18, 2008


tellurian, its a community college, there won't be any troughs for live stock, although it was one of the things the student body really have been agitating for.
posted by bystander at 4:13 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Eh, he's not a troll. He just doesn't understand what information is relevant and what isn't, he's a little self-righteous, and he's combative. Like 99% of metafilter.
posted by greta simone at 4:25 AM on November 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


Yes, there is definitely something up. Nighthawk3729 does a lot of untoward things:
  • Asks rambling questions with odd extraneous assumptions that function as bait
  • Is an argumentative asshole to any answerer that takes the bait, and even fisks their answers (though they don't markup quotes in any way)
  • Marked their own answer as best
  • Only comments in their own threads, and hypermoderates them too.
posted by blasdelf at 4:28 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I got the same sense, bystander. That they seemed less interested in the answers and more interested in being antagonistic. But I'm not sure that's so much trolling as arrogance. I'd just ignore his questions from now on, knowing what I do.
posted by Phire at 4:33 AM on November 18, 2008


In terms of trolling, how about; "a good, credible introduction to the subject". The subject being astrology. edd gives a great first proviso.
posted by tellurian at 4:38 AM on November 18, 2008


He just doesn't understand what information is relevant and what isn't, he's a little self-righteous, and he's combative. Like 99% of metafilter.

99%? Really? If I felt like 99% of Mefiers fit the above description, I sure as hell wouldn't hang around here.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:51 AM on November 18, 2008 [10 favorites]


Posted a link to this post in the AskMe thread.
posted by Kattullus at 5:00 AM on November 18, 2008


Oh... and we're not self-righteous and combative! We're the Salt-of-the-Earth, we are! Where do you get off, greta simone, calling us self-righteous and combative?! Maybe it's you who's self-righteous and combative? Huh?! Did you think of that?! Did you?! Did you?!?!?!
posted by Kattullus at 5:02 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but I'm self-righteous and combatative with style.

This dude just uses a 'chill bro, we're just debating here' style while simultaneously going 'Nah, shut up, JESUS, nobody read my question, UGH!' over the top style reminiscent of, I dunno, most of my interactions at high school.
posted by Happy Dave at 5:38 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Troll or not, his thread did turn me onto this bag, which, while a little bit on the expensive side, looks freaking awesome. Not 'cause it's Halo 3, mind you, but more 'cause it's a laptop bag that seems to actually hold other stuff as well.

My current laptop bag is pretty stylin', but it doesn't play too nicely with powerbars and textbooks...
posted by Phire at 5:50 AM on November 18, 2008


Yeah, troll is a bit far I think.

AOLer is more like it.
posted by Happy Dave at 5:53 AM on November 18, 2008


Calculate the number of ways 30 identical objects can be distributed among 5 numbered containers with all containers nonempty in such a way that containers 1, 3 and 5 contains an odd number of objects, and containers 2 and 4 contains an even numbers.
posted by netbros at 5:58 AM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


I am imagining nighthawk, and it is quite fun...

This guy schlepping around a massive and overflowing, bulging bag of crap... and making use of it all. I bet he sits in the common study areas in the evening, with the headband and polar, and a glass of slimfast, and berates those nearby.

"Hey, I'm comfy and warm because I brought these extra clothes. I bet you're really cold."

"No worry of the power goes out, I have it covered."

"Did you drop a smarty back there? Let's check!" *produces flashlight from bag* "Yep, it's way back there, it's a green one, I can see it because I have a flashlight."

"Lucky I brought Principles of Sociology along with me tonight, I have a few minutes and now I can study because I have all my materials with me."
posted by Meatbomb at 6:02 AM on November 18, 2008 [50 favorites]


"Can you believe they charge 5.65 for a red bean and feta wrap?! Luckily I have this can of Slimfast for just such an emergency!"
posted by Meatbomb at 6:07 AM on November 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


Also, I see students lugging too much junk all the time. I also know students who would be annoyed to be told they were on fire, so his line of BS ain't all that unimaginable or annoying.

That being said, he could be less of a dick when asking a question. He's missing things in his arrogance.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 6:17 AM on November 18, 2008


Yea I think this guy is an entertaining weirdo. I'll bet he has some awesome tools in that backpack and can fix a lot of stuff with just his flashlight, duct tape, and extra can of slimfast.

Wait! I have a new theory! It's Dora the Explora!
posted by Mister_A at 6:17 AM on November 18, 2008 [4 favorites]


I think it's either a "performance art" kind of question (because MeFi is way too upscale for old-fashioned trolling, right?), or, more likely, the questioner has some mental health issues and is one of those slightly "off" personalities one meets so often on a campus. My bet is on the second, because of the combination of immaturity and stashing piles of "just in case" stuff around the campus, but who knows?

It's a funny situation, where the questioner is asking a specific question about food under severe constraints (cost, squishing, slimfast), but the real solution has to do with the constraints (less crap in the bag), and those answers are very frustrating to the questioner. It's not like it's a situation that will keep any of us up at night -- the only thing at risk is the person's back and dignity, which are theirs to do with as they wish -- so more power to them, I guess.

It's basically the backpack equivalent of the relationship questions where everyone says "DTMFA!" and the asker gets irate about the "derail," because they were only asking about how to hide the bruises.
posted by Forktine at 6:20 AM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


There's a guy like that that rides my bus. He's got a big bulging backpack with carabieners with a flashlight, compass, crank radio, bike tool kit flashing LED bike lights and various and sundry other items clipped to the outside. Around his neck he wears 3 cellphones.

I think his backpack is just a symptom, though, so maybe it's not the same.
posted by Floydd at 6:21 AM on November 18, 2008


Ok, taking a look at the poster's previous questions, I don't think it's performance art/trolling. The tone of voice is just too authentically nutty to be a joke, I think. Reading through them was like sitting next to the mumbling guy on the bus and listening to his interior monologue for a couple of blocks:

I usually try and opt for a healthier meal, but eat the occasional pizza slice, usually once or twice a week, this semester,[starting last month] I've only had one or 2. Managed to burn my mouth and mistake the garlic powder for grated cheese, and I really like grated cheese so I put alot on, yikes!
posted by Forktine at 6:31 AM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


Yeah I don't think he/she is trolling. I think they're just a slightly off-kilter though harmless personality (and hey, there's a fuckload of those around these parts) who simply doesn't know the best way to phrase a question without extraneous nonsense in it (I mean, it could have simply been "what is a good kind of food to carry in a bag?" and would have avoided ALL of this) and isn't aware of the general consensus that attempting to moderate your own thread is bad form.

I don't think it's any more devious than that.
posted by modernnomad at 6:33 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Marked their own answer as best

'nothing wrong with marking your own answer as best.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:35 AM on November 18, 2008


In all honesty, I love these psychological vignette questions the most.
posted by odinsdream at 6:46 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Calculate the number of ways 30 identical objects can be distributed among 5 numbered containers with all containers nonempty in such a way that containers 1, 3 and 5 contains an odd number of objects, and containers 2 and 4 contains an even numbers.

No posting quixotic math koans before breakfast.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:48 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


The things Nighthawk3729 carried were largely determined by necessity. Among the necessities or near-necessities were a few extra pieces of clothes, an emergency flashlight, an emergency can of slim fast, everyone of his notebooks and class textbooks, an extra pair of woolen socks, a thermal, a little headband he puts around his throat, P-38 can openers, pocket knives, heat tabs, wrist watches, dog tags, mosquito repellent, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, salt tablets, packets of Kool-Aid, lighters, matches, sewing kits, Military payment Certificates, C rations, and two or three canteens of water.
posted by burnmp3s at 6:54 AM on November 18, 2008 [26 favorites]


Just young. Very, very young.
posted by batmonkey at 6:54 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


He sounds like a general overeducated but maybe undercommunicative slightly irritable type who is new at this Q and A thing. I agree, he could have been a lot more pleasant in-thread but I have seen a lot of MeFites have pretty similar "thanks to those WHO WERE HELPFUL" snarky replies. Especially for new people the whole "snark everywhere but AskMe" thing takes some time to get used to.

More to the point, that username [and I didn't look at anything else about the user from an admin perspective] just has that weird "I got this usename on AOL and have kept it through life" vibe to it which might also indicate that, yeah, he might be a little off kilter.

Originally I felt that the question was going to be trouble because it's not really a question and the OP does seem to be doing that bruises thing that Forktine mentions [asks about one thing, needs help on another, doesn't WANT help on the other, fusses] but I don't see it getting worse, just maybe spinning its wheels a little.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:56 AM on November 18, 2008


I was totally thinking that the dude was homeless.
posted by Sassyfras at 6:56 AM on November 18, 2008 [10 favorites]


There's something very Chris McCandless about him.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 7:03 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Ooh, ohh! It's 'none', right? Cos 30 is an even number and you need to end up with an odd number total in the pockets?

Wait, did I just fail a wider test?
posted by Cantdosleepy at 7:09 AM on November 18, 2008


Off-kilter may be pushing too hard even; non-filtered was more the impression I got, when the preamble of the question was just as overstuffed as the bag in question. Finding a way to trim out a lot and better organize that info out of the gate—both in asking and in posting followups—would make this indistinguishable from any other "help me with this life detail" question on the site, really.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:10 AM on November 18, 2008


Cos 30 is irrational in all commonly used units of angular measure.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:23 AM on November 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


That whole thread, and especially the arrogance of this line

I've been there though where I've read a few lines when I'm tired and shot off my mouth without reading too far in, so I feel for you guys a bit, not alot, a bit ;).

make me cringe. Imagine this guy 20 years down the road and unchanged from the clueless argumentative pedant he is today. Now imagine him married to an unfortunate sap who did not have the presence of mind to DTMFA because when I she married him, there was no AskMe, there was no RelationshipFilter, there was no anonymous posting. There was only usenet! Try to help and be met with contempt. Good times.

Lots of guys like that on usenet, now that I think about it.
posted by headnsouth at 7:33 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Calculate the number of ways 30 identical objects can be distributed among 5 numbered containers with all containers nonempty in such a way that containers 1, 3 and 5 contains an odd number of objects, and containers 2 and 4 contains an even numbers.

No posting quixotic math koans before breakfast.


It's not a koan. It's a valid math puzzle.
Hint: Here's one solution: 17 of the 'identical objects' are all in container 1. Container 2 holds container 1 and all its objects. Container 3 holds 13 'identical objects'. Container 4 holds container 3. Container 5 holds container 4.
posted by vacapinta at 7:37 AM on November 18, 2008


I'm with Sassyfras on the homeless thing.
posted by pearlybob at 7:39 AM on November 18, 2008


...30 identical objects can be distributed...

Let's see, I count 33 objects being distributed.
It's a semantics koan!
posted by niles at 7:41 AM on November 18, 2008


Can we put something in the new user welcome about lols and emoticons for those who don't immediately notice their refreshing lack around these parts? :) lol :)


ToddLocken
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:56 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Clever thinking, Vacapinta. I thought of it in the context of the thread's Halo bag, so it didn't occur to me that a container could be placed in another container.

There seem to be lots of ways.

(2) has all the containers inside it, subdivided:
Inside (2) are (1) and (5).
Inside (1) is (3).
Inside (5) is (4).

There is 1 ball in (5).
There are 2 balls in (4).
There is 1 ball in (3).
There are 0 balls in (1)
There are 26 balls in (2).

That's a working combo, I think.

Or are we considering the containers as 'objects' too?
posted by Cantdosleepy at 7:59 AM on November 18, 2008


He kind of reminds me of the Michael Palin Python character who is trekking across the English suburbs and constantly reporting on the state of the various sandwiches he has stashed away. Does anyone remember that? Post a link if you can, my G-Fu is not strong on this one.
posted by Mister_A at 8:10 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


it didn't occur to me that a container could be placed in another container

I've done my share of combinatorics problems and that wouldn't occur to most people. In general, bins problems don't involve putting bins inside other bins unless that is specifically allowed in the description. It would be a standard (but relatively difficult) combinatorics problem without the contradictory odd/even requirement or the non-obvious container within a container strategy.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:14 AM on November 18, 2008


"This guy schlepping around a massive and overflowing, bulging bag of crap... and making use of it all. I bet he sits in the common study areas in the evening, with the headband and polar, and a glass of slimfast, and berates those nearby."

Ignatius J. Reilly's long lost cousin.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 8:15 AM on November 18, 2008 [9 favorites]


He kind of reminds me of the Michael Palin Python character who is trekking across the English suburbs and constantly reporting on the state of the various sandwiches he has stashed away. Does anyone remember that? Post a link if you can, my G-Fu is not strong on this one.

This sketch? Now you mention it, the resemblance is uncanny.

Especially the mid-flow rant about the weakness of tupperware.
posted by Happy Dave at 8:21 AM on November 18, 2008 [10 favorites]


Just added my $.02 to the mix. GSI nesting mugs and bows are da bomb.

He's a tad dismissive (tupperware? pshaw) but what college student isn't?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:31 AM on November 18, 2008


I find this person charming, and I think there is a kind of rippling manic glitter to his prose that promises greater things to come, if he gets a few breaks (and people don't go out of their way to squash him).
posted by jamjam at 8:35 AM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Actually, looking over that thread, it seems like he's just encountering the usual "I'm going to tell you what's wrong with your premise" crowd. There's not necessarily anything wrong with that, mind. The trick is in disclosing just enough info to get your answer. The more unnecessary stuff you tell people, the more they'll seize on that as the problem. It's like when you're a kid and you stay up late against your parent's advice. There's nothing that goes wrong that week that isn't because you stayed up late that one night.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:37 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I dunno about that question, but this one turned into something of a train wreck. (Different poster, though.)
posted by Class Goat at 8:40 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why is carrying a flashlight so odd? I keep a small one clipped in my pocket along with my knife every day, it's too damn useful to not have.

Everything else goes in the trunk of my car. I believe in being prepared, but I also am a big fan of not carrying around 50lbs of stuff. If I can't comfortably put it in my jacket, it stays in the parking lot.
posted by quin at 8:55 AM on November 18, 2008


Let's just set a minimum age for metafilter and be done with the immature types.

Oh, wait.
posted by desjardins at 8:56 AM on November 18, 2008


asl

8/m/jersey
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:58 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why is carrying a flashlight so odd? I keep a small one clipped in my pocket along with my knife every day, it's too damn useful to not have.

Absolutely - I've got a head-torch in my messenger bag for work, primarily so I can unlock my door at night and in the extremely unlikely event I'm unlucky enough to be on a tube train that gets bombed.

I don't have a dozen other, heavy items that I must carry everywhere however.
posted by Happy Dave at 8:59 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's not a koan. It's a valid math puzzle.

It's an intentionally vague, deliberately ambiguous math "happening". I'll stick with koan as the polite word, but I'll cede the point on my "quixotic" and replace it was "obnoxious" instead.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:04 AM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


*wraps self around can of Slimfast to save space*
posted by a little headband I put around my throat at 9:24 AM on November 18, 2008 [36 favorites]


Epony-magical, Headband.
posted by Cantdosleepy at 9:36 AM on November 18, 2008


Oh man, that's five bucks well spent right there.

Did anyone ever register 'I regularly sport pinstripes and a fedora'?
posted by Happy Dave at 9:39 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


The poster sounds like he could benefit from a self-administered online Asperger's diagnostic quiz, if only there were a place one might find such a thing.
posted by An Infinity Of Monkeys at 10:15 AM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


The things Nighthawk3729 carried were largely determined by necessity. Among the necessities or near-necessities were a few extra pieces of clothes, an emergency flashlight, an emergency can of slim fast, everyone of his notebooks and class textbooks, an extra pair of woolen socks, a thermal, a little headband he puts around his throat, P-38 can openers, pocket knives, heat tabs, wrist watches, dog tags, mosquito repellent, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, salt tablets, packets of Kool-Aid, lighters, matches, sewing kits, Military payment Certificates, C rations, and two or three canteens of water.

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
posted by juv3nal at 10:20 AM on November 18, 2008 [4 favorites]


a little headband he puts around his throat

Man, this dude is so strange.

I can just see him walking in late to classes he's not registered for, lugging a huge bag, wearing a headband around his neck, scarfing down whoppers and slim fasts and beef jerky.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:22 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I feel like I'm lost in a Samuel Beckett novel. Especially with people listing the various ways you can put containers inside containers.
posted by naju at 10:26 AM on November 18, 2008 [6 favorites]


I think this kid is in all of my classes. He's the one who raises his hand whenever the professor asks a rhetorical question.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 10:30 AM on November 18, 2008 [13 favorites]


There's something vaguely Holdenesque about him. If only it were the early 1900s he'd have quite a future in the Bloomsbury Group.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:50 AM on November 18, 2008


Woolen socks in Vegas would be a waste of space.
posted by desjardins at 11:04 AM on November 18, 2008


Stop snitching.
posted by Zambrano at 11:48 AM on November 18, 2008


But what would woolen socks in space be?
posted by owtytrof at 11:52 AM on November 18, 2008


Still itchy.
posted by desjardins at 11:59 AM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I could definitely see a character like this wandering the campus of my school. He and Yi could be buddies.
posted by o0dano0o at 12:02 PM on November 18, 2008


Wearing camo pants, a utility vest with about thirty pockets, a Macbook loaded with yaoi, and cat ears?
posted by dunkadunc at 12:20 PM on November 18, 2008 [4 favorites]


It's not a just in case, it's an in your face! BAM!

This guy is great.

The sane thing to do is to take a razor to the bindings of all the textbooks he uses and just keep the pages he'll need with him, but I'm sure that would be way too compromising. You'd think that he'd be willing to sacrifice the integrity of his textbooks to keep the Halo messenger bag in good condition. Also, what the fuck's up with calling it a backpack? It's not a backpack!

Man, this is so entertaining. It's like the perfect troll. Exasperation without anger. Like watching penguins fall down. "Be more careful, you're walking on ice!"
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:26 PM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


Not a troll, just a typical college freshman. Most of them are insufferable.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 12:26 PM on November 18, 2008


> a little headband he puts around his throat

Man, this dude is so strange.


Meh, it's not that strange of a cold-weather accessory. It's like the bottom half of a half-balaclava, which is far superior to a scarf, IMHO. No bulk, no long dangling ends to worry about, no knots to come undone.
posted by CKmtl at 12:34 PM on November 18, 2008


I've got twice as much shit as that in my wallet.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:46 PM on November 18, 2008


you got shit in your wallet?

I thought you just did not know to keep wiping until the paper comes clean.
posted by Dataphage at 12:55 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Maybe he's blind. Didja ever think of that?
posted by dersins at 1:26 PM on November 18, 2008


Happy Dave, brilliant. Thanks so much.
posted by Mister_A at 1:28 PM on November 18, 2008


I've spent my lunch hour repeatedly watching that Python sketch and making plans to tape hard-boiled eggs to the handlebars of my bike. Two birds, one stone!
posted by scody at 1:32 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I've suggested he ask the Every Day Carry forums, which strikes me as the natural home for this sort of question. EDC is UrbanCommandoFilter, more or less.

(NOT SURVIVALISTIST.)
posted by zamboni at 1:47 PM on November 18, 2008


I like him. I immediately flashed on this guy.
posted by thinkpiece at 1:59 PM on November 18, 2008


Every Day Carry forums

:O
posted by cowbellemoo at 2:03 PM on November 18, 2008


There's something very Chris McCandless about him.

If only McCandless had packed proper food instead of emergency cans of SlimFast...
posted by andraste at 2:25 PM on November 18, 2008


and he's combative. Like 99% of metafilter.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Don't look at me like that.

too late?
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:27 PM on November 18, 2008


Reading the question and his hyper-moderation, I get the disturbing impression that he is channelling Sarah Palin...

I've been there though where I've read a few lines when I'm tired and shot off my mouth without reading too far in, so I feel for you guys a bit, not alot, a bit ;)

Maybe it's just me.
posted by knapah at 2:41 PM on November 18, 2008


I was on a date with someone once who started describing how they carried liquid stitches (and a change of clothes, a flashlight and the kitchen sink) everywhere, just in case. The question gave me flashbacks to trying to figure out how to leave quickly, just in case.
posted by carbide at 2:46 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


If your backpack breaks after three months of use you either need to find a new backpack supplier (go surplus!) or carry less.

Also, where's the mention of the multitool?
posted by drezdn at 3:22 PM on November 18, 2008


You might be a redneck if you carry a chainsaw in the trunk of your car, just in case.
posted by Class Goat at 3:33 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Thanks for the MeTa thread, I would have skipped past this without it.
posted by paisley henosis at 3:34 PM on November 18, 2008


Is just me or is there something weird just right about Mr. Tovey?
posted by Burhanistan at 3:37 PM on November 18, 2008


There's something very Chris McCandless about him.

ALEXANDER SUPERTRAMP 4EVA!

Also: he reminds me of a guy who went to my alma mater (MeFi's favorite, Camp Hamp) who was a sixth year student, still working on the equivalent of his sophmore year who lived in the woods until it was too cold to survive in the woods and then came indoors and camped on his roommate's floor. That is, he had a room. With a roommate. A double room. That would have had a bed, except that he removed the bed and replaced it with a bedroll and sleeping bag. And created a tent out of a tapestry and ate most of his meals out of a metal cup.

Actually, I knew five or six people that would match that general description. None of them ever carried Slimfast. I guess when you're living off the land (to the tune of $33,000/yr including room and board for that bed you refuse to sleep on), losing weight is so inevitable that the Slimfast would really be pushing it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:42 PM on November 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


Ckmtl: "Meh, it's not that strange of a cold-weather accessory. It's like the bottom half of a half-balaclava..."

That is a weird looking thing that girl has on her head right there.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 3:49 PM on November 18, 2008


Hey guys, let's play "What's In My Bag"!

In my bag I have:

- Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
- A travel umbrella
- Toothpaste & toothbrush
- Magazine of Nurofen Plus painkillers
- Facial moisturizer with SPF15
- Eye cream
- 8 x pens, 1 x mechanical pencil, 1 x eraser
- Leatherman
- Deck of cards
- Backup smokes
- An old cigar tin containing receipts
- Tape measure, for some reason
- Train and bus timetables
- Waterproof match tube, containing toothpicks
- Moleskine
- A crappy notebook for non-Moleskine stuff
- Reading glasses
- Keys, with Mag-Lite attached

What I'd like to know is, if I stack all of these items perfectly, will they disappear like a line in Tetris?
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:07 PM on November 18, 2008 [5 favorites]


"yes, i always carry this much shit in my bag. just in case i have to jam."
posted by CitizenD at 5:43 PM on November 18, 2008 [4 favorites]


His other questions exhibit the same bizarre qualities.
posted by awfurby at 6:24 PM on November 18, 2008


It's a semantics koan!

So a long time ago, I was working for a cable station in a predominantly Jewish suburb of Chicago, and was tasked with directing the local origination channel's Fourth of July parade coverage.

While speaking with the commentators before the parade began, I learned that there had been many mishaps in years past, such as the power in the video truck going off when the concussion from a cannon fired in the parade knocked the power cable loose, or the power in the video truck going off when someone got bored, leaned back, and accidentally kicked the power switch under the desk off.

But my favorite was a gentile commentator from a few years prior, who fancied herself a comedian, and so ran around furiously making jokes. Every so often she teased an upcoming "interview with the Cohen family", and nobody on the staff had any idea what she was talking about. Finally, she announced that the "interview with the Cohen family" would begin, and she got down on her knees and started interviewing a small collection of traffic cones she had quietly gathered at the curb.

Evidentally when the show was aired that evening, the staff's assumption that "nobody watches this stuff" was disproved by a flood of telephone calls from irate community members who demanded that the woman be fired (which she was by default, as she was a contractor for the gig, but she wasn't asked to return the following year.)

Incidentally, more people watched that station than we realized, even for non-holiday events; myself and two other people had a show called "Cable Showcase", which was ostensibly about promoting upcoming cable programming. However, the producer/host refused to do it unless our boss gave him complete creative control, and so we would brainstorm and shoot random crap; everything from Madonna's "Vogue" video intercut with black and white clips of the host shoving his beer gut at the camera to keying him into a toilet to talk about...ah, hell, I don't even remember what the show was, but he was in a toilet and we thought that was hilarious.

It lasted several months, and then became the only show in the history of that little cable station to be canceled due to (again) a flood of viewer complaints.

so, what were we talking about again?
posted by davejay at 6:34 PM on November 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


Everything will be different the day after his bag gets stolen from one of the public places he stashes it.
posted by zarah at 6:38 PM on November 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Gave myself Metafilter points for this: it was the first AskMe that I read that I immediately knew would turn into a MeTa.

And I was thinking maybe flameout, but the poster's had the good sense to stay out of this thread, so no go on that (note: this is a *good* thing).
posted by librarylis at 6:41 PM on November 18, 2008


He sounds like a general overeducated but maybe undercommunicative slightly irritable type

Huh? To me he sounds like very much the opposite: an undereducated but overcommunicative slightly irritable type.
posted by jayder at 7:43 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


theres something wierd about everything if you look hard enough.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:55 PM on November 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Baby_Balrog,

Now that I've read your comment in that thread, you're my new hero.

*debates which tasty phylum will provide tonight's dinner*
posted by lukemeister at 8:44 PM on November 18, 2008


I'd bet there is a 9mm deep inside that bag of his. The lad is bivouacking on campus. He should just ask the folks in his study group what to bring.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:05 PM on November 18, 2008


I feel like I'm lost in a Samuel Beckett novel. Especially with people listing the various ways you can put containers inside containers.

It reminded me of the Sugar and Spike comic where they learn about the Gozinta Law: "Little stuff gozinta big stuff, but not the other way 'round."

Now I feel like I probably should have gone to college.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:18 PM on November 18, 2008


Okay, where's loquacious? Because he is the undisputed king of stuff-in-a-bag, and will pretty much set this whole thing to rights in a trice.
posted by taz at 3:35 AM on November 19, 2008


Thanks for linking to loquacious' comment, taz. I missed the original thread. I think "nerdpurse" is my new favorite word.
posted by amyms at 6:21 AM on November 19, 2008


This is perfectly normal for someone who commutes long distances into Manhattan.

Yes, sometimes you really do need a slimfast.
posted by sondrialiac at 7:02 AM on November 19, 2008


Well it's not so much bringing the SlimFast, it's the idea of having an extra SlimFast, held in reserve for unforseeable liquid nutrition emergencies, that really makes this a spectacular post/bag/dude.
posted by Mister_A at 7:06 AM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


He and Yi could be buddies.

Dude. I had several classes with Yi my freshman year. No joke. You have no. idea. what a crazy lunatic that kid was.
posted by backseatpilot at 9:10 AM on November 19, 2008


Mrs. Maxwelton is a bit like this, someone who packs a bag with enough stuff to survive for days. Her car...well, she could open a surplus store out of it.

Me? I'm lucky if I remember to bring my wallet, which contains a couple of cards and a few dollars.
posted by maxwelton at 12:20 PM on November 19, 2008


Maybe he's blind. Didja ever think of that?

I doubt it, he seems quite adamant about keeping his flashlight with him at all times.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:34 PM on November 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, I can't believe this particular askme has been getting so much attention, when you have this one just down the street. Talk about bizarre, but then again, we've been there before.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:38 PM on November 19, 2008


he seems quite adamant about keeping his flashlight with him at all times.

Oh, the blindness remark wasn't about the OP of the question, it was in response to this:

"you got shit in your wallet?

I thought you just did not know to keep wiping until the paper comes clean."

posted by dersins at 12:57 PM on November 19, 2008


That's for clearing that up. I was confused, too. (Yes, really.)
posted by cowbellemoo at 2:04 PM on November 19, 2008


Okay, where's loquacious? Because he is the undisputed king of stuff-in-a-bag, and will pretty much set this whole thing to rights in a trice.

Eh, I've been leaving the nerdpurse (and cameras) at home more often, now, but it remains mostly packed and ready to go.

I think I'm entering what is known as the minimalist phase of the paranoid survivalist nerd.

I was really confused when that comment started grabbing favorites, Taz. :) )
posted by loquacious at 2:59 AM on November 20, 2008


The incomparable Mr. Gravy continues to carry his various bags for various functions: Work Bag, Tennis Bag, Bike Bag, Bike Trail Work Bag; each stuffed with its own variety of nostrums, beverages, tools, foods, books, and electronic gear. He does like to be prepared for the unexpected. For example, in his work bag he carries back-up head phones in case the MP3 player head phones fail as well as back-up books in case the first book turns out to be a dud. Thank goodness for rechargeable cell phones and MP3 players because now there is no need for the back-up batteries.

As for food...he assures me it is perfectly normal to transport pickles to tennis matches. "Everybody does it." He seems to spend a great deal of his time at work eating. This is what he carried in his work bag yesterday:
Orange juice
Green tea
Banana
Baggie of grapes
Baggie of nuts and hard cheese
Baggie of sugar cookies
Tupperware of corned beef, carrots, potatoes
Spicy mustard
Two hot dogs with buns

This formula (2 drinks, 1 banana, 2 snacks, 1 main snack, 1 main meal, 1 dessert) is followed religiously.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:31 AM on November 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


I think I'm entering what is known as the minimalist phase of the paranoid survivalist nerd.

So you're down to a Leatherman, hand grenade, and tinfoil?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:16 AM on November 20, 2008


Are people like this unconsciously anticipating the end of civilization?
posted by bad grammar at 4:25 PM on November 21, 2008


This formula (2 drinks, 1 banana, 2 snacks, 1 main snack, 1 main meal, 1 dessert) is followed religiously.

Two hot dogs with buns

Is 1 dessert?
posted by tellurian at 1:14 PM on December 9, 2008


2 hot dogs with buns is his main (or greater) snack, with the grapes and the cheese plus nuts being the 2 small (or lesser) snacks. The sugar cookies are dessert!

Tonight:
Green Tea
Orange juice
Banana
Baggie of grapes
Baggie of pecans plus square of habanera cheddar
Chocolate chip cookies (3)
Beef bun (recipe here)
Panko pork cutlets, rice pilaf, broccoli plus Thai peanut sauce for dipping
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:05 PM on December 9, 2008


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