Here y'are. January 9, 2009 10:57 PM   Subscribe

In the event you missed this first response to What we talk about when we do the nasty.
posted by Neiltupper to MetaFilter-Related at 10:57 PM (81 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

okay
posted by youarenothere at 11:01 PM on January 9, 2009


what
posted by dunkadunc at 11:14 PM on January 9, 2009


Epic something.
posted by baphomet at 11:30 PM on January 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hey, so Bob Hope has an account. Hubba hubba.
posted by dhammond at 11:37 PM on January 9, 2009


I give up. Is it Olenka?
posted by small_ruminant at 11:43 PM on January 9, 2009


Oops. Nevermind. Going to sleep now.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:45 PM on January 9, 2009


Got a bit of a buzz kill a few comments down though. A hoo, a ha, erk.
posted by Abiezer at 11:45 PM on January 9, 2009


And personally, I like to talk about millenarian peasant movements of the late middle ages whilst in flagrante delicto. Fervently working to create the Second Coming and all that.
posted by Abiezer at 11:48 PM on January 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


What is this?
posted by !Jim at 12:43 AM on January 10, 2009


down under, "doing the nasty" usually means taking a dump.

i was wondering "who on earth are these people talking to whilst doing their business?" but then i just marvelled at different cultures' ingenuity:

"Oh Jesus" or "Oh God" - yeh, why not? i mean, each to their own.

"fuck me" - oh, for sure, but only after a strong curry.

I have heard a Mexican say "Ay Papi" - i think i'll have to page Dr Freud on that one.

and a French woman say "Oui, c'est bon" - yep, no problems there, but how do they do it, with that creamy french diet?

but then, the highlight; those crazy, onomatopeic Hungarians! "My mother says they called it "boom-boom," and my grandmother says that called it "Chachacha."
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:09 AM on January 10, 2009 [10 favorites]


I think what Neilupper is getting at (in his/her own slightly passive-aggressive way) is that the first answer in this AskMe thread is This doesn't answer your question, but...

Anyway, in Canada during coitus we like to say (always in the third person) "HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!" and then "OH, PUCK!" and then a red light flashes on the nightstand table. You can buy these red lights in sex shops in Canada.
posted by KokuRyu at 1:25 AM on January 10, 2009 [33 favorites]


In Maryland we like to say things like, "Wrong hole, dumbass", "ow, ow, ow, ow, stop, what are you, retarded?" and "hold on, I've got a hair on my tongue". Awwwwww, yeeeaaah.
posted by stavrogin at 1:39 AM on January 10, 2009 [31 favorites]


down under, "doing the nasty" usually means taking a dump.

You clearly live in a different Australia than I. I have NEVER heard taking a dump referred to in that way.
posted by crossoverman at 1:53 AM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's hard to imagine Crocodile Dundee taking a dump.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:02 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


In Ireland we say "Sorry Jesus" and cry in direct proportion to how much we're enjoying it.
posted by minifigs at 2:06 AM on January 10, 2009 [58 favorites]


If people have to guess what your Metatalk thread is actually about then YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:57 AM on January 10, 2009 [5 favorites]


I clearly need coffee; I didn't realize that was a joke.
posted by Stewriffic at 3:15 AM on January 10, 2009


I've always been intrigued and/or disturbed by the North American "Oh, God..." or similar Judeo-Christian variants that are used as an exclamation during sex.

I get the whole $diety thing, la petite mort, etc - but it just... feels weird. Do others on this strange Earth cry out "Oh, Buddha!" or "Oh, Shiva!" in the dark, sweaty hours of the night?

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OH FUCK YES
posted by loquacious at 3:17 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I'm in the Australia where 'doing the nasty' is an American way of referring to sex. 'Rooting' is the more traditional phrase used, but I've noticed an upswing in 'shagging' ever since the first Austin Powers movie.
posted by harriet vane at 4:31 AM on January 10, 2009


Anyway, in Canada during coitus we like to say (always in the third person) "HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!" and then "OH, PUCK!" and then a red light flashes on the nightstand table. You can buy these red lights in sex shops in Canada.

Does the deluxe version provide commentary by Don Cherry?
posted by lukemeister at 4:35 AM on January 10, 2009


Can we close this now?
posted by fixedgear at 5:12 AM on January 10, 2009


It's hard to imagine Crocodile Dundee taking a dump.

That's not a turd...this is a turd!
posted by TedW at 5:13 AM on January 10, 2009 [5 favorites]


Ow, my brain imagary system just said "That's it, I'm outta here" and left.
posted by dabitch at 6:05 AM on January 10, 2009


In North Carolina, we do it silent and doggie-style because we're watching the race.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 6:13 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


So has anyone else heard of the Curse of Turan? My Hungarian roommate recently pointed it out. Medieval pagan Hungarians curse newly Christianized Hungarians to centuries of doom and despair. Fun!
posted by mediareport at 6:43 AM on January 10, 2009


Can we close this now?

Can you wait until I've finished this cigarette?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:46 AM on January 10, 2009


Anyway, in Canada during coitus we like to say (always in the third person) "HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!" and then "OH, PUCK!" and then a red light flashes on the nightstand table. You can buy these red lights in sex shops in Canada.

In Canada a male who masturbates sometimes calls it "taking out the goalie".
posted by orange swan at 6:47 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Excellent example of why newsfilter fails.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:04 AM on January 10, 2009


In North Carolina, we do it silent and doggie-style because we're watching the race.

The... wha oh nascar? um. right.
posted by odinsdream at 7:13 AM on January 10, 2009


Pulled a few early comments from that. Dee, the whole "answer the question" thing in AskMe doesn't get overruled by "I have a funny joke".
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:03 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]




iku iku = Japanese is the current first response and without the deleted comment(s) this 'call-out' or whatever it is makes zero sense.
posted by fixedgear at 8:17 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


In Canada a male who masturbates sometimes calls it "taking out the goalie".

I think you may be misremembering "pulling the goalie", unless yours is some sort of regional variant.
posted by davey_darling at 8:19 AM on January 10, 2009


Leave off picking on Dee, cortex, because Dee's nuts.
posted by Mister_A at 8:30 AM on January 10, 2009 [11 favorites]


Anyway, in Canada during coitus we like to say (always in the third person) "HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!" and then "OH, PUCK!" and then a red light flashes on the nightstand table

You mean you don't just sit around and wait for the government to do it for you?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:42 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like to tell stories, paraphrases of the naughtier bits from Gilgamesh, The Decameron, and the Norse myths, but it's been a while and I might have to go stop by the library, if you don't mind waiting.
posted by steef at 9:46 AM on January 10, 2009


Amazing, cortex, you managed to do one of the few things possible to make this MetaTalk thread even more pointless than it was.
posted by grouse at 10:00 AM on January 10, 2009


iku iku = Japanese is the current first response and without the deleted comment(s) this 'call-out' or whatever it is makes zero sense.

What was the original first response? Because this doesn't make any sense to me either.
posted by Evangeline at 10:03 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


In New York we just text OMG! and check e-mail on our blackberries during the act.
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


The original comment was a story from someone talking about the English loanword Hungarians(?) use for sex, "szeks". She wondered what the original, native word was so she called up her mom who said she had used boom-boom, her grandmother had used chachacha and her greatgrandmother had used christ-was-love.
posted by stavrogin at 10:26 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


You can buy these red lights in sex shops in Canada.

Only for the uninformed; hosers in the know go to the red light district.
posted by theclaw at 10:31 AM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]



whoops posted my lame joke in the thread itself not here

It was explained to me that, in England there are four basic phrases used at the moment of orgasm, corresponding to the four basic types of orgasm itself: the positive, the negative, the religious and the fake.

Positive: oh yes, oh yes, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, oh yes oh YES

Negative: oh no, no, no no no nooooooo, nooooooo no no NO

Religious: oh God, oh God, ohhhh Jeeeesus Oh God oh God oh GAWWWWWD

Fake: oh oh oh oh Rumple, oh Rumple oh oh OH
posted by Rumple at 10:48 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


In Nevada it goes something along the lines of "How much is another half hour going to cost me?"
posted by clearly at 10:55 AM on January 10, 2009


5 bucks, same as in town.
posted by empath at 11:10 AM on January 10, 2009


I enjoyed that thread more than I thought I would. I want more languages.
posted by empath at 11:12 AM on January 10, 2009


I want more languages.

Babelfish and Google Translate are your friends. Try typing in "Well?", "Is it in?" and "Are you done yet?"
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:26 AM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Borezone?
posted by electroboy at 11:40 AM on January 10, 2009


Nidarosdomen! Orgelmusikk!
posted by Dumsnill at 11:45 AM on January 10, 2009


When I visited Finland the women would scream "Are you Finnish yet?"
I think they wanted to adopt me.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:53 AM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


When I visited Finland the women would scream "Are you Finnish yet?"

The thing I learned in Finland was that their "scream" sounded like a bored, detached monotone to me. Other cultures, so weird.
posted by maxwelton at 12:10 PM on January 10, 2009


It's hard to imagine Crocodile Dundee taking a dump.

Bidet, mate!
posted by brundlefly at 1:00 PM on January 10, 2009 [6 favorites]


Crocodile Dundee shits in a bidet?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:32 PM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


Better than shitting in a shower.
posted by empath at 2:13 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, what was the damn joke? My contact activity says that Dee's comment had 27 favorites so it must have been funny since it seems to have been deleted quickly.
posted by peep at 3:04 PM on January 10, 2009


I was one of the people who didn't even realize it was a joke. Is there some significance to "boom-boom" and "chachacha," other than that they're just silly words?
posted by Ms. Saint at 3:10 PM on January 10, 2009


Crocodile Dundee shits wherever he wants.
posted by brundlefly at 3:24 PM on January 10, 2009


"Are you still awake?"
posted by strawberryviagra at 4:12 PM on January 10, 2009




Whoomp, there it is! Whoomp, there it is! Whoomp, there it is!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:27 PM on January 10, 2009


Well as this is pointless, I'll add this very old Essex Girl joke:

Q: How do you know when an Essex girl reaches orgasm?

A: She drops her kebab.

You don't want me here all week, trust me.
posted by ob at 4:34 PM on January 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Drops her nail file...
posted by fixedgear at 4:36 PM on January 10, 2009


I still have absolutely no idea what this Metatalk was about.
posted by Justinian at 4:58 PM on January 10, 2009


down under, "doing the nasty" usually means taking a dump.

i was wondering "who on earth are these people talking to whilst doing their business?"


UbuRoivas: well, the people in the next stall, obviously. Offering advice and whatnot.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:01 PM on January 10, 2009


B.I. #14 80-96
St. Davids PA

'It's cost me every sexual relationship I ever had. I don't know why I do it. I'm not a political person, I don't consider myself. I'm not one of these America First, read the newspaper, will Buchanan get the nod people. I'll be doing it with some girl, it doesn't matter who. It's when I start to come. That it happens. I'm not a Democrat. I don't even vote. I freaked out about it one time and called a radio show about it, a doctor on the radio, anonymously, and he diagnosed it as the uncontrolled yelling of involuntary words or phrases, frequently insulting or scatological, which is coprolalia is the official term. Except when I start to come and always start yelling it it's not insulting, it's not obscene, it's always the same thing, and it's always so weird but I don't think insulting. I think it's just weird. And uncontrolled. It's like it comes out the same way the spooge comes out, it feels like that. I don't know what it's about and I can't help it.'
Q.
' "Victory for the Forces of Democratic Freedom!" Only way louder. As in really shouting it. Uncontrollably. I'm not even thinking it until it comes out and I hear it. "Victory for the Forces of Democratic Freedom!" Only louder than that: "VICTORY --" '
Q.
'Well it totally freaks them out, what do you think? And I just about die of embarrassment. I don't ever know what to say. What do you say if you just shouted "Victory for the Forces of Democratic Freedom!" right when you came?'
Q.
'It wouldn't be so embarrassing if it wasn't so fucking weird. If I had any clue what it was about. You know?'
Q...
'God, now I'm embarrassed as hell.'
Q.
'But all there is is the once. That's what I mean about it costing. I can tell how bad it freaks them out, and I get embarrassed and never call them again. Even if I try to explain. And it's the ones that'll act all understanding like they don't care and it's OK and they understand and it doesn't matter that embarrass me the worst, because it's so fucking weird to yell "Victory for the Forces of Democratic Freedom!" when you're shooting off that I can always tell they're totally freaked out and just condescending down to me and pretending they understand, and those are the ones where actually I actually end up almost getting pissed off and don't even feel embarrassed not calling them or totally avoiding them, the ones that say "I think I could love you anyway." '
posted by churl at 7:02 PM on January 10, 2009 [8 favorites]


I was one of the people who didn't even realize it was a joke. Is there some significance to "boom-boom" and "chachacha," other than that they're just silly words?


I don't think so. The story (again) was essentially this: I was learning Hungarian in Romania. It was one of my early lessons, so we were learning Hungarian words which were borrowed from Indo-European sources (since most Hungarian vocabulary would seem senseless to speakers of IE languages, this was a logical way of at least getting *some* vocabulary easily, plus it helps make sense of how sounds are written in Hungarian.)

One of the words was "szeks," which means "sex" and is pronounced more or less the same way.

It seemed odd to me that such a word would have to be borrowed for such a universal and timeless thing, so I asked my teacher about the "original" Hungarian word for it. She called her mother, who was visiting *her* mother, and they informed her that before it was called "szeks," the mother called it "boom boom" and the grandmother called it "chachacha!"

I think that being demure and conservative Székely folks from a small village in Harghita County, Romania, my teacher's family was humorously side-stepping an issue which might have compelled them to use language or discuss a topic uncomfortable for them. I later met both of them, which only reinforced this impression. Anyway, it was a funny story which most readers here understood perfectly well.

Unfortunately, some Hungarian fellow somewhat randomly took exception to my teacher's knowledge of Hungarian - which was presumptuous, wrong and (mostly) displayed a total failing to understand what everyone else perceived correctly as a joke.

I responded with the credentials of my teacher's family re: knowledge of Hungarian language history and a joke (a real joke, that I didn't make up, and told in Hungary) which was about the lack of world-class Hungarian comedians. I figured that a Hungarian might get this - Hungarians themselves discuss not getting jokes, their historic glumness and lack of humour. (To get a sense of this, take the fact that Hungarians have jokes about how much funnier the *Germans* are then themselves! Or that Hungarians are regularly found to be the most "depressed" people in Europe, and frequently, the most prone to suicide. Or the famous Hungarian composition,
Gloomy Sunday, which - correctly or not - is a matter of pride for many Hungarians, who point out that its melancholy nature was so powerful that many Budapesti threw themselves in the Danube after hearing it!)

I meant no harm, but my posts were deleted. (And I obviously have a high regard for Hungary, its language and its people, or I wouldn't have spent time, energy and money to learn a language with negligible practical value. In fact, the big question I get from Hungarians about why I am learning their language is "Is someone forcing you to?")
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 7:26 PM on January 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Can we close this thread now and delete it from my memory? I realize I can't get the time back, but I figure not realizing I lost it in the first place is the next best thing.
posted by Eideteker at 7:44 PM on January 10, 2009


Unfortunately, some Hungarian fellow somewhat randomly took exception to my teacher's knowledge of Hungarian - which was presumptuous, wrong and (mostly) displayed a total failing to understand what everyone else perceived correctly as a joke.

That guy may have been giving you the benefit of the doubt by assuming you weren't willfully disregarding the askme guidelines by dumping a big joke in the thread instead of an answer.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:47 PM on January 10, 2009


In California, we mostly just yell whatever the cue cards say.
posted by klangklangston at 8:29 PM on January 10, 2009


You use cue cards? That must be a Southern California thing, here in Northern California I practice my lines by myself a lot before the actual shoot.
posted by dirty lies at 8:42 PM on January 10, 2009


When I visited Finland the women would scream "Are you Finnish yet?"

No, and I'm not Russian either.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 8:43 PM on January 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


I meant no harm, but my posts were deleted.

Oh, come on. Your first joke comment started off something like, "I can't help answer your question, but [insert joke about your grandmother and Hungary]."

You've been around long enough to know how AskMe works; this shouldn't have to be spelled out for you.
posted by mediareport at 8:57 PM on January 10, 2009


Neiltupper: How about saving a local copy of the comment and pasting it in the Metatalk post next time? What was the point of this call out? Too bad a boxing glove can not emerge from the computer and punch your lights out (or at least cause you to duck and spill a drink on your keyboard).
posted by mlis at 9:04 PM on January 10, 2009


Well I really liked the joke and Dee's story.

As an aside, can someone do a FPP on Gloomy Sunday, Hungary and the Curse of Turan? Come on people -- Billy Holiday, Bjork and Portishead all covered it.
posted by empath at 9:06 PM on January 10, 2009


Well I thought it was a fabulous question. Now when do we do the nasty?
posted by keijo at 9:20 PM on January 10, 2009


Nevermind, I'm on it.
posted by empath at 9:22 PM on January 10, 2009


The End Times are coming.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:26 PM on January 10, 2009


Done
posted by empath at 10:09 PM on January 10, 2009


In Canada, if you expect to orgasm more than once with a lady (in a professional capacity), that is known as MSOG - or Multiple Shots On Goal.

/so I'm told
posted by stinkycheese at 6:37 PM on January 11, 2009


In Australia we say things like "Get off me, dad, you're crushing my smokes."
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:39 PM on January 11, 2009


What we talk about when we do the nasty.

How are you supposed to talk? Don't you find that the ball gags and gimp masks make verbal communication too difficult?
posted by quin at 7:54 AM on January 12, 2009


This is why I taught you to hum the stop word, ya lousy maggot.

*crack*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:06 PM on January 12, 2009


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