MetaFilter may be just what you need January 12, 2009 12:15 PM   Subscribe


interestering? when did metafilter become a chemistry blog?
posted by juv3nal at 12:22 PM on January 12, 2009


"MetaFilter is a reminder of what online communities could be like, before the web was swamped by the hoi polloi."

And here I thought, we were the hoi polloi.
posted by ericb at 12:22 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


"There's also some serious discussion in the MetaTalk area, which sometimes has me crying with laughter. "

In the article, "sometimes" is linked to this.

I'm not getting the funny, there.
posted by rtha at 12:24 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks Jack.
posted by Sailormom at 12:27 PM on January 12, 2009


Well, NOW we're going to be swamped with hoi polloi.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:32 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Here, it's the quality of the information that counts, not the quantity of the display."

Quality of the information or how many pictures of cats are involved. Either one.
posted by Ms. Saint at 12:34 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


And here I thought, we were the hoi polloi.

I've seen hoi polloier.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:35 PM on January 12, 2009 [6 favorites]


We MeFites are polloi, just less hoi than most.
posted by wendell at 12:37 PM on January 12, 2009


Jack, Jack, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but we're funny how, I mean funny like we're clowns, we amuse you? We make you laugh, we're here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How are we funny? You said we're funny. How the fuck are we funny, what the fuck is so funny about callout-threads? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
posted by Artw at 12:38 PM on January 12, 2009 [9 favorites]


More like the OY! Polloi, amirite, boychik?
posted by jonmc at 12:39 PM on January 12, 2009


Guy's smoking a pipe. A pipe.

I'd like to take a moment to mock that.

...

Thank you.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:40 PM on January 12, 2009


Mac-hating dickwad.
posted by bonaldi at 12:42 PM on January 12, 2009


Cool. Ted Nelson has a new book.
posted by Artw at 12:43 PM on January 12, 2009


I think maybe "oglefilter" titillates the English?

JOIN UP, JACKIEBOY
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:44 PM on January 12, 2009


boychikzone
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:44 PM on January 12, 2009


I'm not getting the funny, there.

Maybe it was when sondrialiac wrote: Joe Beese, this is better than the time you said that a 25-year-old sleeping with a 12-year-old wasn't really rape. But it still sucks and you should be ashamed of yourself.

I mean, I didn't laugh at it either. But the British have an odd sense of humor.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:45 PM on January 12, 2009


Let me be the first to say: SHITCOCK! A BUCKET OF SHITCOCK!
posted by stet at 12:45 PM on January 12, 2009


You got a problem with smoking pipes? Yeah? Why don't you come over and tell me that to my face.

You know, because then you'll get the full effect of the aromatic tobacco. Pipes are awesome.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:47 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


Oh, dear. Now we've been discovered.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:52 PM on January 12, 2009


Brace yourselves for more Brits.
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:52 PM on January 12, 2009


Oh good my gay crushes are being broadcast across the Atlantic now...like my mother doesn't spend enough time bothering me about why I'm single.

I'd be angry but I can't hold it against a fellow Little Boots fan.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:53 PM on January 12, 2009


From Bklyn is just pissed off because he's not old enough to pull off the pipe-and-tweed look without looking like some kind of bullshit hipster or steampunk jackass.
posted by Artw at 12:55 PM on January 12, 2009


Okay, so every time he wrote "Palm" I kept reading "Palin," and I was totally thinking that I really don't want to see Sarah Palin come back, but if I did I would want to see her come back "with a bang" hurr hurr nahmean amirite, but also I don't want to see that because, you know, I think women should be able to be as competent or incompetent as they want without being objectified, except I'd rather they not be in positions of power if they were incompetent, just like men, so.

So, I've got nothing, except the only other guy I can think of with a pipe is the Boss Coffee guy, and I wish my coffee came with Mario Kart figurines.

Also Alistair Cookie, who totally ate his pipe at the end of Monsterpiece Theater even though my brother insists he never did, so now I'm going to go look up clips on YouTube and mail them to him to prove how wrong he is.

Thanks, Jack!
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:55 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Is Bob forgotten?
posted by Artw at 12:57 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


Guy's smoking a pipe. A pipe.
I'd like to take a moment to mock that.


In his old picture he was wearing a fedora. Just one question to AskMe and he got rid of it, though...
posted by inigo2 at 1:01 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Speaking of pipes, I saw some young (18yr or so) snowboarder at Camelback (PA) on Saturday smoking a pipe at the bottom of the hill while waiting for his friends to make it down the mountain before getting back on the lift.

What a douche-bag.
posted by Grither at 1:01 PM on January 12, 2009


See, I'd like to smoke a pipe occasionally, because I really love the smell, except for two things. First, obviously, is that everyone would think I'm a douchebag. Which, I suppose, would be true, so no great loss there. But, more importantly, when I mentioned to my fiancee that I might like to indulge, every so often, in some pipe tobacco, she said (icily, I might add), "okay, Dad."
posted by uncleozzy at 1:09 PM on January 12, 2009 [6 favorites]


Proper pipe smoking activities:
-Relaxing at a gentlemans club
-Fishing/gardening/other relaxing outdoor pursuits
-Reading a newspaper after a breakfast featuring toast or eggs (cereal does not cut it. Fuck off yogurt.)
-Devising the atomic bomb
-Building Univac
-Rockeship/Atmoic Monster/other 50s Science! Project

Pipe smoking activities that simply will not do
- Snowboarding. Fuck the hell off.
posted by Artw at 1:14 PM on January 12, 2009 [21 favorites]


Sometimes a pipe is just an oglefilter titillation.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:15 PM on January 12, 2009


First, obviously, is that everyone would think I'm a douchebag.

I had no idea everyone thought I was a douchebag for smoking a pipe.
I'm guessing they must really think I'm a tool for the chewing tobacoo. *spits*
posted by nola at 1:15 PM on January 12, 2009


That was nice. Thanks Jack.
posted by netbros at 1:16 PM on January 12, 2009


Artw, you forgot, "Being under 30." I bought myself a pipe and some snooty cherry tabbacy for my 31st last year and have never been more delighted to receive mouth cancer. That and whiskey taste-tolerance are my two favorite aspects of growing old. Beside defense of the de lawn.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:19 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Congratulations on your team of periodic table themed superpowered robots, BTW.
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


I bought myself a pipe [...] whiskey taste-tolerance

How about whiskey-flavored tobacco?
posted by uncleozzy at 1:25 PM on January 12, 2009


Any time I've been around someone who was smoking a pipe, the smell won me over before I could get to call them a doucher. Which might be the secret to pipes - get other people to smoke them, breathe deeply, and make peace with the snowboarders.
posted by carbide at 1:27 PM on January 12, 2009


/starts missing the days where everyone wore suits.
posted by Artw at 1:28 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


When I was in 9th grade I had a study hall that some Older Girls were in. Misti was one of them. I listened in with fascination and delight as she spoke at great length about the cigarettes she had in her pack. Three Salem's, each had been dipped in a different liquor in dear old dad's cabinet, and when you smoked them not only would it taste delicious, but you'd get drunk, too!

"You got Vodka, Peach Schnapps, and this one is, freaking, Kalua."
posted by dirtdirt at 1:32 PM on January 12, 2009 [13 favorites]


*caresses nicotine patch*
posted by jonmc at 1:36 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Guardian's Jack Schofield sends his love.

How about that DVD he borrowed?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:41 PM on January 12, 2009 [4 favorites]


Is there enough power left in the ZPM to cloak this place?
posted by Thorzdad at 1:42 PM on January 12, 2009


^^^^^^^^^^
Hoi Polloi Zone
VVVVVVVVVVV

posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:43 PM on January 12, 2009


Thank you, Mr. Schofield. You obviously spend enough time here to understand how we operate and you presented us well and accurately. But you really must have your picture retaken, sans pipe. Pipes can be delightful when smoked by gentlemen of a certain age in a cosy library with well-aged leather furniture and fireplace while rain beats against the window panes, but there are places in which a pipe does not belong. For instance, as someone pointed out above, while snowboarding. For another, any headshot photograph, especially those intended for public and career-related use. For other places in which pipes do not belong, see also: haymows, tinder-dry forests, and orifices other than the mouth.
posted by orange swan at 1:44 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dude has clearly earned his pipe, leave it.
posted by Artw at 1:46 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Brace yourselves for more Brits.

Fine, so long as they stop insisting on calling everyone cunts.
posted by found missing at 1:48 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


In fact if you edited a 1970's photography magazine smoking a pipe in your headhsot pretty much moves from "permited" to "required".

(Other interests include "audiophile hi-fi")
posted by Artw at 1:50 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dude has clearly earned his pipe, leave it.

No one has proposed snatching it out of his mouth, or even hacking into the Guardian site to replace the jpeg of Schofield and his pipe with a jpeg of something else.
posted by orange swan at 1:50 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like the pipe. I think it's jaunty. It says, "I put that in my pipe, and smoked it."
posted by steef at 1:50 PM on January 12, 2009 [9 favorites]


We have a fanboy!
posted by lunit at 1:51 PM on January 12, 2009


For sophistication without the cancer, might I recommend the bubble pipe?

note: don't inhale unless you enjoy sudsy vomit.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:59 PM on January 12, 2009


or even hacking into the Guardian site to replace the jpeg of Schofield and his pipe with a jpeg of something else.

Seriously, yeah, let's not be juvenile.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:02 PM on January 12, 2009 [11 favorites]


I lieked the part where he said the posts are consistently well written and correctly spelled. lol.
posted by Sailormom at 2:03 PM on January 12, 2009


Oh and Plo Chops!
posted by Sailormom at 2:03 PM on January 12, 2009


That read a bit like a yearbook article, with personal-sounding comments thrown into cursory highlights of the features of a club/event/committee ending with a "And this is why it's worth being writing about, QED".

Can you imagine if the Internet were like high school? Oh wait...
posted by Phire at 2:04 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is he a member here? If so anyone know The Guardian's policy on self-linking to a project you're involved in?
posted by cjorgensen at 2:05 PM on January 12, 2009


Pipes can be delightful when smoked by gentlemen of a certain age in a cosy library with well-aged leather furniture and fireplace while rain beats against the window panes, but there are places in which a pipe does not belong.

Nuts to that! I'm currently smoking no less than 12 different pipes, each with a different tobacco. They are arrayed about my head in a marvelous work of engineering and plumbing. With each breath I experience more flavor than most British people do all day (I'm not judging - I do have an HP Sauce flavoured tobacco just to be fair). Everytime I exhale it is like an old coal burning locomotive achieved sentience and began to post on the internet. To approach me in my cavernous smoke-filled room, your eyes watering from the cloying nimbus, your breath short and full of taste, must be like approaching a hoary Aztec god that has given up its thirsts for childflesh and instead opted for the much more genteel meerschaum.

Many have tried to take a picture of me in my glory, for Guinness World Record or simple headshot purposes, but no camera has thus far been able to survive my cloying majesty.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:10 PM on January 12, 2009 [17 favorites]


HAHA! My post on lady athletes had him crying in laughter! SUCCESS!

I think.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:12 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
posted by ColdChef at 2:14 PM on January 12, 2009 [6 favorites]


Dude has clearly earned his pipe, leave it.

Indeed. It's actually a little known fact that in Britain pipes are issued by the government only when one has reached the age of forty and when one can convincingly tell children to get off their lawn without it seeming ironic.
posted by ob at 2:14 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


For other places in which pipes do not belong, see also: haymows, tinder-dry forests, and orifices other than the mouth.

ARGH. I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:18 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Jeez cortex, way to be creepy with the photoshop.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:20 PM on January 12, 2009


That mention of that snowboarding 18 year old smoking a pipe made me smile.

I certainly smoked pipe when I just started university; Butz Choquin, Chacom, Lloyds&Son Falcon with metal stem, clay Gouda pipe. I just stopped short of smoking my grandfathers 1.30 m tall Bavarian students' Gesteckpfeiffe.

Yes, it's affected, wannabe, pretentious. But that's why he's 18.
As long as they don't listen to indie music and go on and on about it...

Stay crusty orange swan.
posted by jouke at 2:21 PM on January 12, 2009


The british favour the jam-filled doughnut.
posted by Artw at 2:22 PM on January 12, 2009


It's actually technical still illegal for a woman to smoke a pipe in Britain*

* The exceptions being, a) a spinster, wearing gentleman's attire, in the confines of her club or b) a retired woman of ill repute in a gin house. In the latter case only a clay pipe is permitted.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:26 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Pipes? Pipes? Everybody know cigars are where it's at.
posted by fixedgear at 2:30 PM on January 12, 2009


For sleazy gangsters, people at weddings and corrupt businessmen, perhaps.
posted by Artw at 2:31 PM on January 12, 2009


is he a member?
posted by empath at 2:43 PM on January 12, 2009


I've been watching a lot of ReGenesis lately on hulu, and I'm really liking it a lot but it's kind of struck me how the main character (and, often, people hanging out with him) is always smoking a cigarillo, and nobody has anything to say about this. And all I can figure is it's one of two things:

1. Smoking cigarillos is a lot more common in Canada, or
2. In Canada, even the characters in biomed dramas are too polite to say something when someone develops a fedora-like penchant for cigarillos.

Torontoans, please advise?
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:44 PM on January 12, 2009


Now you know the rest of the story.
posted by ND¢ at 2:44 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Most interestering.
posted by motty at 2:44 PM on January 12, 2009


If we didn't smoke cigars at our wedding, are we legally married?
posted by desjardins at 2:44 PM on January 12, 2009


That would be legal grounds to void the marriage, yes.
posted by Artw at 2:49 PM on January 12, 2009


If we didn't smoke cigars at our wedding, are we legally married?

That depends. Did you check the "Yes we both smoked a cigar" box on the license? Only I smoked a cigar at our wedding, so I guess that I'm married whereas my wife is not. I probably won't tell her.
posted by ob at 2:50 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]



If America had national health care, we could all be retiring to gin houses too.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:50 PM on January 12, 2009


I like getting my belly rubbed just like the next dog but that gentleman is seriously asking for a visit of the cliché police. hoi polloi sans irony does not work, especially in connection with pipinage. pipanorium. pipeneering. (I like that last one.)

btw: they sit on the very same couches in the otherwise very call-centeresque guardian hq that were used on the uk 'big brother' set. I bet they were aghast when they saw that.
posted by krautland at 2:51 PM on January 12, 2009


If America had national health care, we could all be retiring to gin houses too.

but if america had british health care, we'd all be told that given our age a new hip really wasn't worth it anymore. you're 22! you can get by those few last years in a wheelchair. much cheaper!
posted by krautland at 2:53 PM on January 12, 2009


Quit giving him shit about the pipe you hand-feeding-you-biting bastards, the guy likes us enough that he was willing to blatantly prevaricate by calling us "civilised" in The Guardian.
posted by baphomet at 2:57 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is he smoking Jaffa Cake-flavored pipe tobacco?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:58 PM on January 12, 2009


> *caresses nicotine patch*
> posted by jonmc at 4:36 PM on January 12 [1 favorite +] [!]

What flavor?
posted by jfuller at 3:01 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe it was when sondrialiac wrote: Joe Beese, this is better than the time you said that a 25-year-old sleeping with a 12-year-old wasn't really rape. But it still sucks and you should be ashamed of yourself.

I mean, I didn't laugh at it either. But the British have an odd sense of humor.


Actually, I just re-read that and it is hilarious, but then I am British so that may be why.
posted by ob at 3:04 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


We're clearly terrible people.
posted by Artw at 3:16 PM on January 12, 2009


Who, mefites or Brits? I believe the answer is "yes"
posted by desjardins at 3:31 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


More sincerely, I'm saving this to have on hand next time I'm trying to give a quick "it's great and it does this but don't self-link" summary of MeFi. I tried to do it recently for my dad, who's since joined, and this article's much more pithy and leaves out little. So, adding to the "Thanks, Jack" chorus.
posted by carbide at 3:37 PM on January 12, 2009


The real question is: Do the modifiers stack?
posted by Artw at 3:38 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


Get 'em drunk, find a phone booth, and throw around some double dog dares. Get back to us when you've found out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:41 PM on January 12, 2009


Does Metafilter linking to external site linking back to Metafilter count as self-linking? Because, if so, we're screwed.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:46 PM on January 12, 2009


I don't know jfuller, I didn't lick it and I'm not about to.
posted by jonmc at 3:49 PM on January 12, 2009


We've replaced robocop is bleeding's tobacco with hashish: Let's see if he notices!
posted by Pronoiac at 3:57 PM on January 12, 2009


For that reason alone, it's worth cultivating.

Just like whatever he smokes in that pipe, man.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:58 PM on January 12, 2009


88 comments and nobody has bothered to post a comment on his article linking him back here?
posted by vacapinta at 4:12 PM on January 12, 2009


Thought about it, couldn't be arsed with the sign-up/vaguely unsure that it's a good idea with all the fuck-you and snark.
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on January 12, 2009


We have a bunch of Torontonians and a whole lot of Trawnnans, but there aren't any Torontoans left up here. They just disappeared one winter without even saying goodbye. They hacked up a perfectly nice tree before they left, too.
posted by maudlin at 4:22 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


1. Smoking cigarillos is a lot more common in Canada, or
2. In Canada, even the characters in biomed dramas are too polite to say something when someone develops a fedora-like penchant for cigarillos.

Torontoans, please advise?


I've never seen a Torontonian smoking a cigarillo.
posted by gman at 4:22 PM on January 12, 2009


I certainly smoked pipe when I just started university

Presumably you smoked *a* pipe, jouke. Smoking pipe sounds like a sexual euphemism.

Jack Schofield is a Mac-hating, union-hating Conservative bastard who makes Polly Toynbee sound like Karl Marx. However, I've got to give him credit for his work editing the British language edition of the Italian photography magazine, Zoom, back in the 1970's.

I think it only lasted a year or two, but it was great while it lasted.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:32 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Mac-hating

Nothing less than fawning adulation will be tolerated!
posted by Artw at 4:40 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's gotta be either Boaz or Black and Mild.
posted by The Straightener at 4:40 PM on January 12, 2009


Nothing less than fawning adulation will be tolerated!

I've added his pin to our No on Apple Google Map.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:49 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


there aren't any Torontoans left up here

What about the Tarantellas?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:07 PM on January 12, 2009


stop with the tarantellas, otherwise the hounds will start to roar.
posted by jonmc at 5:09 PM on January 12, 2009


I've never seen a Torontonian smoking a cigarillo.

That's because all of your cigarillo-smokers were disappeared for the crime of expressing too much individual spirit.

Calling in the army ten years ago to "help clear the snow" was the cover.
posted by CKmtl at 5:12 PM on January 12, 2009


Ten years ago today, actually. And Mel is still proud of calling in the troops. They still say that they found no contraband stashes of cigarillos in the snowbanks, though some say they were spirited off to Quebec.
posted by maudlin at 5:23 PM on January 12, 2009


First thing I did on my bike tour to Quebec City was to buy Cuban cigars. Fuck the embargo.
posted by fixedgear at 5:34 PM on January 12, 2009


Quit giving him shit about the pipe you hand-feeding-you-biting bastards, the guy likes us enough that he was willing to blatantly prevaricate by calling us "civilised" in The Guardian.

Dumb bugger won't be making that mistake again now, will he?
posted by five fresh fish at 5:43 PM on January 12, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oh huzzah, finally some recognition among the coveted "pipe-smoking poofs who misspell 'civilized'* demographic.

*Yes I know that's the British way, but it is still wroung.
posted by Mister_A at 5:47 PM on January 12, 2009


Calling in the army ten years ago to "help clear the snow" was the cover.

Ah yes. I still remember seeing a tank rolling down Yonge Street, carefully keeping to the speed limit and stopping for red lights.
posted by orange swan at 5:49 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hoi polloi

or

Admired by pipe smoking man.



Au revoir Mefites.
posted by fire&wings at 5:53 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hey, my dad smoked a pipe, and not only was the smell great but we never had a problem about what to get him for Christmas: a can of Sir Walter Raleigh and a package of pipe cleaners was always well received.

And that was quite a nice article, if not exactly late-breaking news.
posted by languagehat at 5:55 PM on January 12, 2009


what was it somebody said about Toronto...that it was basically the White Pages sprung to life?
posted by jonmc at 5:55 PM on January 12, 2009


Hey cortex would you close my quotation mark up there? Ceiling pipe-dude may be watching me.
posted by Mister_A at 5:57 PM on January 12, 2009


Jack Schofield: I love you too, man.

Can I crash at your place for a bit?
posted by Justinian at 6:29 PM on January 12, 2009


*Yes I know that's the British way, but it is still wroung.

Shove it up your arzer*.

Think "ize/ise", "center/centre".
posted by Artw at 6:35 PM on January 12, 2009


peckrehead.
posted by jonmc at 6:43 PM on January 12, 2009 [3 favorites]


Hey, my dad smoked a pipe, and not only was the smell great but we never had a problem about what to get him for Christmas: a can of Sir Walter Raleigh and a package of pipe cleaners was always well received.

My dad smokes Newports. Of course, he also only eats meat well done and orders steak at seafood restaurants. But he also enjoys doo-wop and Elvis and sauerkraut.

My point? I don't have one.
posted by jonmc at 6:50 PM on January 12, 2009


Mac-hating

I think it's more like Mac-fanboy-trolling these days - he's writing it all on a Macbook, or claims to be.
posted by a little headband I put around my throat at 6:50 PM on January 12, 2009


Speaking of pipes, I saw some young (18yr or so) snowboarder at Camelback (PA) on Saturday smoking a pipe at the bottom of the hill while waiting for his friends to make it down the mountain before getting back on the lift.

A lot of 18-year-old snowboarders smoke pipes, but they're usually small and smelly. So are the pipes.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:39 PM on January 12, 2009


My point? I don't have one.

We noticed.;-)
posted by orange swan at 8:27 PM on January 12, 2009


Humor me, lady.
posted by jonmc at 8:29 PM on January 12, 2009


what was it somebody said about Toronto...that it was basically the White Pages sprung to life?

I'm not sure what this means, exactly, but I think we might have to fight now.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:47 PM on January 12, 2009


> Jack Schofield is a Mac-hating, union-hating Conservative bastard who makes Polly Toynbee sound like Karl Marx.

Coals to Newcastle.
posted by jfuller at 8:49 PM on January 12, 2009


Up until a few years ago you could get corncob pipes at Walgreens for $2.99. I think they stopped selling them because only stoners were buying them.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:05 PM on January 12, 2009


You know who else liked to smoke a pipe?
posted by Burhanistan at 9:06 PM on January 12, 2009


You know who else liked to smoke a pipe?

Well, I did for a while. But man, they're work.
posted by lysdexic at 9:37 PM on January 12, 2009


Yes.
posted by Artw at 9:38 PM on January 12, 2009




No one has proposed snatching it out of his mouth, or even hacking into the Guardian site to replace the jpeg of Schofield and his pipe with a jpeg of something else.

*strokes chin, winks*
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:58 PM on January 12, 2009


Wait 'til he finds out that we all comment naked, right guys?
posted by klangklangston at 10:59 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


what was it somebody said about Toronto...that it was basically the White Pages sprung to life?

"... Toronto is a great place to raise a family - or a plant..."
-Buddy Cole, Canadian Philosopher

Also: WTF is up with specifically canvassing HogTowners for information regarding Canada? The western alienation, it burns!

Also the second: I never realized pipe cleaners were for cleaning pipes until this MeTa.
The shame, it also burns, but in a more familiar way.

posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:06 PM on January 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


I never realized pipe cleaners were for cleaning pipes until this MeTa.

Me either! I just thought of them as craft materials. But then I tend to think of everything as craft materials, don't I.
posted by orange swan at 3:46 AM on January 13, 2009 [3 favorites]


I miss liquorice pipes at Christmas... sadly gone the way of chocolate and candy cigarettes.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:21 AM on January 13, 2009


We still get those here and the chocolate cigarettes are right behind the candy-filled 'cell phones' just to the left of the candy-filled 'beepers'.
I never knew that I broke British pipe smoking laws for women! Metafilter teaches me stuffs.
posted by dabitch at 5:13 AM on January 13, 2009


I knew this guy that used to smouke the Maryjane in a pipe! True fact.
posted by Mister_A at 5:27 AM on January 13, 2009


Here in Toronto, the cool thing to do is to grind up a menthol cigarette and then smoke it in a corncob pipe. Usually we do this outside, even in the dead of winter, while listening to bagpipe music on our 1980s-era Boom Boxes. This one time my buddy Gord put on a Rufus Harley tape and it blew my mind so much I dropped my pipe right into a snowbank.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:34 AM on January 13, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here, it's the quality of the information that counts, not the quantity of the display.

So, we don't have enough displays? What?
posted by odinsdream at 7:06 AM on January 13, 2009


If he's not a member he needs to pony up the $5. No getting in just because he wrote about metafilter!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:07 AM on January 13, 2009


a can of Sir Walter Raleigh
(ring-ring)
posted by clavdivs at 7:20 AM on January 13, 2009


Well, Rufus Harley was the man, I think we all agree on that.
posted by Mister_A at 7:24 AM on January 13, 2009


What about the Tarantellas?

Please don't start the spider-hate again.
posted by fidelity at 7:59 AM on January 13, 2009


(ring-ring)

Wrong number—you want Prince Albert.
posted by languagehat at 8:23 AM on January 13, 2009


...is he in the can?
(gets meerschaum)
posted by clavdivs at 8:27 AM on January 13, 2009


Yes, but is your refrigerator running? Maybe this should go in the ask anything thread?
posted by fixedgear at 8:29 AM on January 13, 2009


Are you the woman who washes? You don't? Why, you dirty thing!
posted by orange swan at 8:45 AM on January 13, 2009


Yay! I'm finally part of something before it was mainstream and cool!

*smokes pipe*

*puts on Korn album*
posted by chugg at 8:54 AM on January 13, 2009




Here in Toronto, the cool thing to do is to grind up a menthol cigarette and then smoke it in a corncob pipe. Usually we do this outside, even in the dead of winter, while listening to bagpipe music on our 1980s-era Boom Boxes.

Oh, T-Dot, you used to be so down. Out here in western Canadia, we carefully measure out a 50/50 mix of primo Romeo y Julieta cigar tobacco (legally purchased - suck it USian haters!) and hand-shelled ripe canola. We pack that shit in a hookah with just a pinch of Saskatoon berry shisha, and then we find a seat on the nearest piece of abandoned rusting farm machinery and listen to club remixes of old calliope 78s.

And by recent provincial government decree, we only smoke cigarellos when the price of oil clears $150. I mean, we're not decadent.
posted by gompa at 9:53 AM on January 13, 2009


I like it how his article serves to show the difference between a professional writer and a blogger. Where a blogger would say:

"The other day while I was googling how to get read of a corpse, when I ran into this site..."

The professional writer says:

"Anyone who searches for information on the web will land on MetaFilter eventually, probably without realising what it is."
posted by micayetoca at 10:17 AM on January 13, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ceci n'est pas une pipe indeed. But this thread — unlike g. moon's female athletes post — does have me crying (almost) with laughter. (Put that in your patch, and smoke it.)

p.s. Here's a proper pipe for use while snowboarding. Or at least half of one.
posted by LeLiLo at 10:31 AM on January 13, 2009


Have spoken to Schofield via Twitter and he says he's not a member.

Also: Pipes.
posted by Jofus at 10:34 AM on January 13, 2009


But have you spoken to Twitter via Schofield? Eh? Have you? Eh? Eh?
posted by languagehat at 10:36 AM on January 13, 2009


Ceci n'est pas votre blog, fuckwit.
posted by fleacircus at 10:59 AM on January 13, 2009


Wait 'til he finds out that we all comment naked, right guys?

Don't be ridiculous. I always wear a hat.
posted by jonmc at 11:01 AM on January 13, 2009


It always pleases me when people say nice things about the writing here, when they comment on the intellectual discourse, the civility, and the general sense of a welcoming community who is willing to make an effort to see what a rich tapestry life can be. I enjoy this because it means that the corrosive influence of my atrocious grammar, profanities, and general misanthropy isn't as noticeable as I tend to believe.

Which is pretty cool, I guess. Although it makes these cryptic threats I'm always making against celebrities feel like they've been going a bit to waste.

I guess what I'm saying is that I blame Larry the Cable Guy. Someone should "do something" about him.
posted by quin at 11:44 AM on January 13, 2009 [3 favorites]


I had my picture taken with a guy dressed as Larry the Cable Guy on Halloween a couple of years ago. Actually, we were dressed as d-bags and sort of forced it on him. I'm looking at the picture, and we're all in-character, making pouty faces and drinking Heinekens, but he's clearly holding some kind of foofy mixed drink. Way to ruin the bit, buddy.

In case anyone is wondering, drinking Jaeger bombs, Heinekens, and sake bombs all night basically turns you into Superman.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:11 PM on January 13, 2009


Hey Mathowie, did you see an uptick in signups after this?
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:36 PM on January 13, 2009


Ceci n'est pas une hoi polloi.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:44 PM on January 13, 2009


Jack, Jack, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but we're funny how, I mean funny like we're clowns, we amuse you? We make you laugh, we're here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How are we funny? You said we're funny. How the fuck are we funny, what the fuck is so funny about callout-threads? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
posted by Artw at 12:38 PM on January 12


i'll tell you what's funny
posted by infini at 2:03 AM on January 14, 2009


Wait 'til he finds out that we all comment naked, right guys?
Don't be ridiculous. I always wear a hat.


Me too, I have a special fedora for just such an occasion.
posted by grouse at 6:58 AM on January 14, 2009


I myself prefer socks, thick, wooly socks.

And on my feet just slippers.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:35 AM on January 14, 2009


Wait, so he likes the site enough to write about it, but not to pay $5 to join?

Huh?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:27 PM on January 14, 2009


Well, he would have, but the pound has gotten weaker and it's now almost GBP 3.50 instead of GBP 2.50.
posted by grouse at 1:39 PM on January 14, 2009


That's the price of a pint in London - come on Jack, show us yer pipe.
posted by Happy Dave at 4:04 AM on January 15, 2009


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