The Q Tipoff. March 26, 2009 2:38 AM   Subscribe

Followup: The mystery of the Phantom may be solved.
posted by BrotherCaine to MetaFilter-Related at 2:38 AM (37 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

I still think Chigurgh's sister had something to do with it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:53 AM on March 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


The swabs did it.
posted by Elmore at 3:10 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Never attribute to malice Romanian ninja super-women that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
posted by Jofus at 3:40 AM on March 26, 2009 [9 favorites]


The swabs did it.

Die Schwaben? Wer h├Ątte das gedacht?
posted by chillmost at 3:42 AM on March 26, 2009 [8 favorites]


Schwabians! I knew it. First, silly dialects, then international crime.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:58 AM on March 26, 2009 [4 favorites]


It was Popeye and his gang?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:58 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


The swabs did it.

Beware the Q-tip menace lurking in our medicine cabinets.
posted by amyms at 4:04 AM on March 26, 2009


Oops, just saw the post title. <> Nevermind <>.
posted by amyms at 4:08 AM on March 26, 2009


na, it's the Sorbs. The Upper Sorbians, to be precise.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:12 AM on March 26, 2009


Quadruplex Tips
posted by DU at 4:33 AM on March 26, 2009


So she's hiding out in a Q-tip factory - jesus, it's right in front on 'em!
posted by From Bklyn at 5:57 AM on March 26, 2009 [3 favorites]


Isn't this, like, extremely bad news for any prosecutor who's ever tried a case which involved work done by that crime lab? I would think that any defense attorney seeking an appeal for his client was just handed a large break.
posted by Rhomboid at 6:14 AM on March 26, 2009


I dated her once. She's very real.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:17 AM on March 26, 2009


Prawo Jazdy did it.
posted by Etaoin Shrdlu at 6:18 AM on March 26, 2009 [5 favorites]


so you CAN kill a person with q-tips
posted by pyramid termite at 6:19 AM on March 26, 2009


so you CAN kill a person with q-tips

Yes, but a spoon is much quicker.
posted by chillmost at 6:28 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


And tastier!
posted by Grither at 6:35 AM on March 26, 2009


You know who I feel sorry for? that one guy; the guy obsessed with cracking the case. The guy who takes his files home from the office and studies them on his own time. His study has maps and post-it notes and evidence photographs taped to the wall and his desk is piled high with random papers and jottings. For years he has been dreaming of the day when he will capture her... he is this close. Although there are no pictures of her, he knows she will turn out to be mysteriously beautiful with her exotic eyes and pouting lips and stunning legs. She will have a husky voice and a way of moving that could unsettle any heterosexual male, but he will be vigilant and on his guard against her feminine wiles. She has proven herself over and over again to be dangerous, like a snake, and she will use her cunning and her beautiful body as weapons, but he alone will be able to take her down and ...what!!!???? Q-Tips!!!!!! Arrrrrgh.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:41 AM on March 26, 2009 [46 favorites]


ha ha. I like that yoyo_nyc says right in the post, "Maybe the employees of the company that provides the PCR kits to the police should handle over their DNA to avoid a systematic error?"

And all these professional law enforcement agencies puzzling over this never thought of that? Ach, mein Gott!
posted by taz at 6:45 AM on March 26, 2009


With all of the money and brains in all of those investigative departments, you'd think they'd have cottoned on sooner.
posted by pracowity at 7:18 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Tonight... what's hiding in your medicine cabinet that could kill you. And, everyone you love."
posted by odinsdream at 7:18 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Out of curiousity, is this via ghost of a past number's comment in the forensic thread? Or via ghost of a past number's via?
posted by kisch mokusch at 7:34 AM on March 26, 2009


Ugh, forget that. Your post beat that comment by 40 minutes.
posted by kisch mokusch at 7:35 AM on March 26, 2009


Oh man, it's not a supervillan? *kicks rock with shoe* It's never a supervillain for real.
posted by The Whelk at 7:49 AM on March 26, 2009 [5 favorites]


My scheme has worked. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:24 AM on March 26, 2009


Aw, man, I thought this was going to be a reveal about the console.
posted by graventy at 8:28 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE QTIP FACTORY
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:39 AM on March 26, 2009 [3 favorites]


"And this way, Desislava my love, they will think nothing of your DNA being found at the scene of the murder you actually commit."
posted by fleacircus at 9:46 AM on March 26, 2009 [5 favorites]


So now, if I ever want to commit a series of murders and get away with it, I just need to get a job at a cotton swab factory...
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:06 AM on March 26, 2009


My girlfriend keeps asking me about the traces of Eastern European woman's DNA in my ear. This ought to hoodwink her, and I can continue indulging me ear licking fetish.
posted by Elmore at 10:18 AM on March 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


So now, if I ever want to commit a series of murders and get away with it, I just need to get a job at a cotton swab factory...

We already told you how to dispose of the body
posted by nomisxid at 10:25 AM on March 26, 2009


Am I the only one kind of disappointed by this? I've had this image of Romanian junkie super-criminal Svetlana Molotov, hopping from crime to crime like a wounded, feral cat, and then... nooo! Say what this will about me, I would prefer a world with more hyper-competent uncatchable criminals and fewer incompetent factory workers.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:56 AM on March 26, 2009


Am I the only one kind of disappointed by this?

Not in the least.

I've had this image of Romanian junkie super-criminal Svetlana Molotov

With me it was a cross between Franka Potente from "Run Lola Run" and Molotov Cocktease from "The Venture Bros.," but yeah, basically me too.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:29 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, you can have my Tribe Called Quest albums when you pry them from my cold, dead hands, B.
posted by Mister_A at 12:23 PM on March 26, 2009


I didn't see this the first time. Upon clicking the old link, I immediately formed the image of some super-assassin who injected herself with heroin as part of some elaborate Ocean's 11 style plan. I blame TV for rotting my brain.
posted by Humanzee at 1:48 PM on March 26, 2009


1-woman-100-cops
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:18 PM on March 26, 2009


So now, if I ever want to commit a series of murders and get away with it, I just need to get a job at a cotton swab factory...

Interviewer: Any hobbies?

Interviewee: Oh, you know, I like to bowl. Drive around.

Interviewer: Now answer me honestly, do you want this job just because you want to kill a bunch of people? Because we've had a lot of candidates like that come through here already.

Interviewee: Kill a bunch of people? I...well...it's...yeah. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do.

Interviewer: Better luck elsewhere!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:23 PM on March 26, 2009


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