Do the Right Thing

May 24, 2009 4:25 PM

Muirwylde was shaken after having done a decent thing in a stressful moment. The comments reveal MeFites' compassion (also here and here) and consumer skills. Decency all around. Well done, guys.

(Mods, if this isn't appropriate, please feel free to delete. I was glad to see the offers of ideas and assistance, as well as Muirwylde's straight-up apology.)

posted by MonkeyToes to Etiquette/Policy at 4:25 PM (23 comments total)

lol wut?
posted by Elmore at 4:35 PM on May 24, 2009

I meant to say this is heart warming and fantastic. lol. wut?
posted by Elmore at 4:36 PM on May 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

IANAM, but this a fine use of metatalk. Calling out good behavior is as acceptable as calling out bad.
posted by philomathoholic at 4:38 PM on May 24, 2009

It seems silly to say this about something typewritten, but I could hear the poor guy panting as I read the post. It must have been so hard not to run away, and instead to stay and help.
posted by palliser at 5:00 PM on May 24, 2009

Muirwylde is to be commended, of course, and should be excused for overreacting to Felix betachat's well-intentioned suggestion that Muirwylde should look after his/her emotional health after the stress of witnessing a horrible accident.

I suspect most people here would have given their cellphone to the victim without a second thought. This is not to diminish Muirwylde's kindness, but rather to complement the Metafilter community.
posted by applemeat at 5:06 PM on May 24, 2009

I always wondered how I'd behave in a situation like this. Would I rise to the occasion with super, adrenaline-strength and throw a car off of a trapped passenger or maybe rip off my pants leg to make a tourniquet while dialing 911 with my teeth?

Then it happened. A big scary moment. I was there. And I fainted dead away to be revived by paramedics.

Congrats to Muirwylde.
posted by Kloryne at 5:06 PM on May 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

I am trying to imagine the woman, so pumped full of adrenaline, that she could scale a 10 foot brick wall. Did she live?
posted by Meatbomb at 5:29 PM on May 24, 2009

Apparently, she is still alive.
posted by zerokey at 6:25 PM on May 24, 2009

I'm still amazed at how certain members can't help being anal about question composition in a situation like this - in the very first comment. But otherwise, a great outcome.
posted by a non e mouse at 8:47 PM on May 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

No, felix betachat was NOT being anal about question composition in the first comment. He noted that all the vivid detail suggested that Muirwylde was traumatized, expressed sympathy, not criticism, and advised therapy to deal with the aftereffects. He clarified this in his second comment and apologized for any ambiguity or offense, and Muirwylde apologized in return for misunderstanding him.

I'm so glad that poor woman, who may not survive, got to talk to her father right away. I think badly burned patients are often put into medically induced comas ASAP, and this could have been their last conversation.

You did everything right, Muirwylde. I hope you can get through this, too.
posted by maudlin at 9:14 PM on May 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

While we're on the subject, dare I ask what jayder said?
posted by grouse at 9:31 PM on May 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think we could use a therapy-related shorthand equivalent for "I know you're not a lawyer. I know you're not my lawyer." At this point I assume everyone could use a little one on one with a therapist. It's become the standard askme answer to everything as if there's one on every street corner. It's not like putting air in your tires or getting the oil changed... a lot of people simply can't afford it, even on a !sliding scale!

It's become a footrace to see who can suggest it first. We get it.

/derail
posted by auntbunny at 10:11 PM on May 24, 2009 [5 favorites]

Speaking for an awful lot of We, auntbunny.
posted by carsonb at 10:16 PM on May 24, 2009

Oh, and good on Muirwylde—you done right. Good luck getting yourself another phone.
posted by carsonb at 10:18 PM on May 24, 2009

I'll second the defence of what felix said. When I read the question, the first thing I thought was that the OP was needing to talk it out with someone, just from how he wrote it. The tone was haunting.

I also thought of offering my back-up phone no charge, but it appears that Sprint is CDMA and my phone is unlocked GSM, so not much good.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 10:21 PM on May 24, 2009

Here is another news article about the incident. I can't find any more recent news on the condition of the victim.
posted by killdevil at 10:42 PM on May 24, 2009

Hey, auntbunny, you should try to be less jerky. The post was an obvious cry for help. Muirwylde had just helped out another human being who'd been burned alive and was posting about it on the internet. The decent thing to do was to suggest s/he talk to someone whose job it is to help people deal with witnessing traumatic things.

Whatever footrace it is you're tired of, this one ain't running it. That said, I do wish I'd taken a couple more seconds to check my tone; Muirwylde clearly didn't need to feel judged by anyone.
posted by felix betachat at 10:53 PM on May 24, 2009 [5 favorites]

I'd like to offer an opinion on another part of the thread.

A while back something major, similar to this, happened near my house. I posted about it on a public forum (not Mefi). Someone immediately found a news article about it and posted it. I was somewhat concerned for my privacy because that person basically pinpointed my street address and forever linked it to my screenname. On that forum I only indicated what state I live in. (Here on Mefi I list it at city level.) I guess in that case I didn't make the details vague enough for the person not to find it.

I know that when you post something on the internet you're making it public forever, so I made the fact that it was near my house known myself, and anyone could Google it. Still, posting the news article removes all doubt about the tie. I wonder if it would be more appropriate to ask the OP "hey, I found this news article about the accident, can I post it? It kind of indicates where you live."
posted by IndigoRain at 10:58 PM on May 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Someone hellbent on finding where the OP lived could (and would) google the same article. Damage done, such as it is.

Chilling thread. I do not think I could handle a situation like that, but who knows.. I like to think adrenaline and empathy would allow me to rise to the occasion, but I have doubts.
posted by cj_ at 11:46 PM on May 24, 2009

Recently, my roommate got bit on the hand by her dog, a total accident -- was freaking out because it drew a few drops of blood, and I could barely deal with it. Fuck.
posted by cj_ at 11:49 PM on May 24, 2009

hey, felix betachat, it truly wasn't intended as the personal attack it appeared to be. I picked the wrong thread in which to fly this flag and would really like to roll it up and put it away for now. It was thoughtless of me to post bullshit in what cj accurately calls a chilling thread. As far as "it happened and I was there" stories go, this was a horrible one for the poster to be dealt. My heart goes out to all involved.
posted by auntbunny at 11:57 PM on May 24, 2009

I hear what you are saying about the privacy issue, IndigoRain. We have a lot of superior bloodhounds here at Metafilter, and the tendency is to dig out the entire story.

The poor guy with the blood-soaked carpet comes to mind--he specifically didn't want to be known as "that guy", and yet it was brought over (I'm sure in a completely well-meaning way) to Metatalk, and now...well, look, I have a lot better idea who it is after that, even, and why should I need to know?

I like to think, though, that we are better than, say, the Jezebel types who want to exploit that knowledge. I'm hopeful that when it comes to our own, we have more of a "What happens at Metafilter stays at Metafilter," mentality, and that when we *do* write /blog/talk/gossip about a post outside the site, we reserve it for the occasional proud, "Look at what this Mefite did!" occasion.
posted by misha at 10:49 AM on May 25, 2009

...I think I'm going to go look at putting a vehicle barrier around the fuel tank up on my folks' farm. Yikes.
posted by aramaic at 2:36 PM on May 26, 2009