The banhammer November 2, 2009 7:26 AM   Subscribe

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you an actual Banhammer.

Via Boingboing. I say we pass the hat and get one for Matt.
posted by adamrice to MetaFilter-Related at 7:26 AM (57 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

S'only real if they have made an actual steel/iron and wood banhammer. While it looks nifty it is still just digital art so the whole "This thing did not exist before I decided to make it." is a bit of a canard.... it still does not exist.
posted by edgeways at 7:30 AM on November 2, 2009


When you only have a banhammer, every user looks like a nail.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:37 AM on November 2, 2009 [9 favorites]


Sure it exists. It may be made out of ABS, but it's a real hammer.
posted by zamboni at 7:39 AM on November 2, 2009


s/faved/banhammered/g
posted by lukemeister at 7:39 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


What about this Ham banner?
posted by owtytrof at 7:46 AM on November 2, 2009 [6 favorites]


Oh sweet, Hive76 got a mention. I keep meaning to head out there.
posted by Deathalicious at 7:53 AM on November 2, 2009


That reminds me... Only 564 days until Kenneth Branagh's Thor!
posted by Joe Beese at 7:54 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Where exactly do you hit someone with a banhammer? Cause that thing would probably do more than just ban someone..
posted by pwally at 7:55 AM on November 2, 2009


I always imagined a Banhammer as a giant version of those red-and-yellow plastic squeaky hammers. It always just seemed like a very cartoonish/anime concept.
posted by explosion at 7:56 AM on November 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's more of a banmallet.
posted by stavrogin at 8:02 AM on November 2, 2009 [5 favorites]


A hammer really is the wrong tool for the job, and I don't know why its use gained such popularity. What's more effective is a scythe, machete, or perhaps a chainsaw.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:10 AM on November 2, 2009


Ideally it'd have a motion detector and be hooked up via Bluetooth to a script that actually performed a banning.

Just sayin'.
posted by chrismear at 8:10 AM on November 2, 2009


I have long suspected that the notion that the mods here wield ban-hammers is a myth; it seems much more likely that Metafilter would have banana-hammers instead.
posted by koeselitz at 8:15 AM on November 2, 2009


My captcha on that page, no lie, was "rogues Requiem." Related?
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:17 AM on November 2, 2009


Don't miss the three states of matter dance in that link there.
posted by koeselitz at 8:18 AM on November 2, 2009


I've never imagined the banhammer as striking the actual person behind the username; rather, I've always believed it would either strike a) the actual user account or b) the person's computer. In the case of a), then one could visualize a sort of cartoony schtick where the banhammer would strike an avatar in the forehead and "BAN" would be imprinted there just before it disappears in a cloud of bits.

Or, you can visualize Jessamyn walking away from the smoking remains of a computer tower, with a neat "BAN" stamped into a scrap of sheet metal lying on top of the pile of rubble.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:28 AM on November 2, 2009


Banana hammocks?
posted by Jofus at 8:33 AM on November 2, 2009


I'd rather be hit with the ban hammer than with a banana hammock
posted by porn in the woods at 8:34 AM on November 2, 2009


Afghanistan bananastand!

(RIP Don Westlake)
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:38 AM on November 2, 2009


There's also the Ham Bana Banner.
posted by zamboni at 8:39 AM on November 2, 2009




.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 8:45 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I present you with a Janhammer.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:47 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


This cries out for an art project where the 'ban user' action doesn't actually ban the user, it just actuates the hammer. There's a button underneath it that does the bannin'. Add a marquee that shows the name of the victim and charge for the videos of spammers getting their due.
posted by Skorgu at 8:54 AM on November 2, 2009


Official MetaTalk theme song?
posted by Wolfdog at 8:55 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


In my mental image of The Banhammer, right as you swing it up and pause, ready to strike, the front of the head swings open to reveal a giant boot (variation: oversized boxing glove) on one of those extending crisscrossy shaped dealies, and then as the boot or glove strikes, you hear an orchestra hit and a cartoony rendition of the word BAN! spirals out, Batman-style.

Someone make that, please?
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:55 AM on November 2, 2009


(Now I think of it, the section at around 2:06 in the video looks a lot like a meetup.)
posted by Wolfdog at 8:56 AM on November 2, 2009


Everyone knows the only way to deal with trolls is with the Trollhammeren,
posted by Sailormom at 9:00 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


A hammer really is the wrong tool for the job, and I don't know why its use gained such popularity.

My theory is that the mod class is a subclass of cleric, and as such, the use of edged weapons is either forbidden for them or at least negates their ability to turn undead, without which, let's face it, this place would be a mess.
posted by sleevener at 9:05 AM on November 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


S'only real if they have made an actual steel/iron and wood banhammer. While it looks nifty it is still just digital art so the whole "This thing did not exist before I decided to make it." is a bit of a canard.... it still does not exist.

He made it with a 3D printer. It exists.
posted by ludwig_van at 9:06 AM on November 2, 2009


Via Boingboing.

Fuck off.
posted by special-k at 9:21 AM on November 2, 2009


You call that a hammer? This is a hammer.
posted by fixedgear at 9:23 AM on November 2, 2009


Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, has a banhammer in his inventory in Team Fortress 2.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:37 AM on November 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


it's only a model.
posted by shmegegge at 9:40 AM on November 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


Via Boingboing.

Fuck off.

posted by special-k


They did a via MeFi today.
posted by gman at 9:40 AM on November 2, 2009


It's ok, but personally I want a Spambanhammer.
posted by ob at 9:41 AM on November 2, 2009


He made it with a 3D printer. It exists.

For sure, a thing exists, but is that thing truly a hammer if it's not capable of hammering?

As long as this so-called banhammer is made of totally weak-looking plastic I put it to you that no true banhammer exists.
posted by Mike1024 at 9:46 AM on November 2, 2009


S'only real if they have made an actual steel/iron and wood banhammer.

It's not that hard to make a solid metal hammerhead if you're okay with one made from a cast, as opposed to one being forged. But then you couldn't slam it down as epically.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:47 AM on November 2, 2009


I say we pass the hat and get one for Matt.

I'd say that's a bad idea. Banning people from Metafilter isn't something (officially) celebrated, which is kind of cool.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 9:51 AM on November 2, 2009


it is still just digital art

No, it's an actual thing. The digital art was printed. In three dimensions. To become an actual, physical, 3-dimensional object.

Sounds like magic, I know, but the technology is real, available, and less expensive than you might think.

Many of the puppet facial parts in the movie Coraline were created using this technology.

Hell, there's even a self-replicating 3D printer.
posted by dersins at 9:51 AM on November 2, 2009


It's beautiful. It needs to have built in electronics to heat up the BAN to be red-hot, though. If it's a permaban, it's gotta leave a permanent scar.

And while this one may be plastic from a 3D printer, perhaps we could make a clay cast for it, and then pay Lodge to make an old-school cast iron hammerhead for it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:57 AM on November 2, 2009


This is like Ship of Thesius 2.0. If it's digital, does it exist? If not, if it's printed, is it no longer digital and thus exist? What if you scan the printout?
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:59 AM on November 2, 2009


The first Ham Banner.
posted by gman at 10:06 AM on November 2, 2009


jabberjaw writes "It's not that hard to make a solid metal hammerhead if you're okay with one made from a cast, as opposed to one being forged. But then you couldn't slam it down as epically."

Cast hammers are pretty durable, especially if you aren't striking steel with them. However it would be easy to take a standard hammer head and build up BAN with an arc welder. Log marking hammers have existed for centuries and often incorporate initials.
posted by Mitheral at 10:21 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Another Ham Banner
posted by not_on_display at 10:28 AM on November 2, 2009


Collect the whole set! If banning a few miscreants leaves you still feeling antsy and the coping saw isn't enough, try the Mallet of Redemption or the Panic Hammer
posted by morganw at 10:28 AM on November 2, 2009


It looks like you could order a BAN hammer straight from a catalog - they even have ones with movable type.

FIA
MO

DT
MFA
posted by zamboni at 10:43 AM on November 2, 2009


I prefer Jan Hammer.
posted by hifiparasol at 10:44 AM on November 2, 2009


I always picture the banhammer as a process prodded into movement by the user's own foolishness, a foolishness that cannot be apologized for or taken back, and the force of which shall fall upon the user with a finality as unlikely to be averted as that of a ten-pound sledgehammer dropped upon a penny nail. Literally, the epitome of "you brought this upon yourself, you have only yourself to blame, and there's nothing that can be done to change your fate."
posted by davejay at 10:50 AM on November 2, 2009


plus in my head it makes a really awesome "BAN" sound on impact
posted by davejay at 10:51 AM on November 2, 2009


Just looking at the post count on the fave thread scares me more than the banhammer. Yikes.
posted by effluvia at 10:58 AM on November 2, 2009


Next: The Meh Mallet.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:21 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Lamb Hammer
posted by generichuman at 12:19 PM on November 2, 2009


I have long suspected that the notion that the mods here wield ban-hammers is a myth; it seems much more likely that Metafilter would have banana-hammers instead.

No banhammers, but you're still a little off. It's actually more like a mallet.
posted by Sova at 12:52 PM on November 2, 2009


I'd say that's a bad idea. Banning people from Metafilter isn't something (officially) celebrated, which is kind of cool.

Of course it's not celebrated. The celebrated way is publicly shaming undesirables in MetaTalk until they flameout and leave by themselves. When we can't get them to leave and a mod has to ban them, it feels so cheap, it ruins the mood.
posted by qvantamon at 2:21 PM on November 2, 2009


In Texas, they loveelectric chairs, but they don't celebrate killing people. TEXASBURGER
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:01 PM on November 2, 2009


In Texas, they use lethal injection so shut up or get the needle.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:30 PM on November 2, 2009


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