Crazy little thing called taters February 19, 2010 2:59 PM   Subscribe

Hardcore Tatars
posted by jpdoane to MetaFilter-Related at 2:59 PM (76 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Nice... hats.
posted by zarq at 3:01 PM on February 19, 2010


Check out the Tatars on that guy.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 3:14 PM on February 19, 2010


No
posted by P.o.B. at 3:14 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


Saucy post.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:22 PM on February 19, 2010


steak tartares

(raw!)
posted by DU at 3:23 PM on February 19, 2010


Как сказать "What the fuck" по-русски?
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2010 [2 favorites]


Those are indeed hats. Hats of considerable furriness and sparkliness.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2010


jesus the editing on that thing was unwatchable for more than 5 seconds. I'm sure it was great, but fucking hell.
posted by shmegegge at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2010 [4 favorites]


Taters make me feel funny. I feel like it's rare for MetaFilter to be unable to figure something out, and the tater situation was never completely solved. None of the proposed translations (actors, penises, testicles, history entries) ever seemed to fit perfectly well. I hate thinking that any one of you could be the poster of that anonymous AskMe.
posted by Plutor at 3:37 PM on February 19, 2010 [17 favorites]


Did you mean to post this to the blue?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:41 PM on February 19, 2010


Без чемпионлар (We Are The Champions on Tatar)

Obviously it should be IN Tater. But why is it not /on/ - but /in/? Feels like it could be both intuitively.
posted by bigmusic at 3:44 PM on February 19, 2010


Did you mean to post this to the blue?

No a SLYT in-joke it seemed pretty weak for the main page. But it made me laugh, so I figured I'd share in on MeTa.
posted by jpdoane at 3:44 PM on February 19, 2010


That's not what MeTa is for.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:50 PM on February 19, 2010


This makes me laugh and feel funny in my pants.
posted by greekphilosophy at 3:51 PM on February 19, 2010 [3 favorites]


jesus the editing on that thing was unwatchable for more than 5 seconds. I'm sure it was great, but fucking hell.

They need to study more security cam bus crashes.
posted by Elmore at 3:53 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


DO NOT FUCK WITH TATARS
posted by TrialByMedia at 4:09 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hardcore tartar
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:22 PM on February 19, 2010


I want that lady's hat.

And the man's.

And the flu- you know what, I want all those hats, period.
posted by The Whelk at 4:23 PM on February 19, 2010


I feel like Ross Perot's running mate in 1992 'cause I have no idea what the hell is going on here.
posted by NoMich at 4:33 PM on February 19, 2010


Ross Perot had a running mate?
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on February 19, 2010


HAHA. What other ethnic groups can we make fun of?
posted by hal_c_on at 4:36 PM on February 19, 2010


Admiral Stockdale.
posted by NoMich at 4:36 PM on February 19, 2010


Слишком долго, не читал
posted by special-k at 4:37 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


What other ethnic groups can we make fun of?

I've always thought Estonians were pretty funny.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:41 PM on February 19, 2010


"Later Taters." Do you think he knows!?
posted by Ms. Saint at 4:44 PM on February 19, 2010


Taters make me feel funny. I feel like it's rare for MetaFilter to be unable to figure something out, and the tater situation was never completely solved. None of the proposed translations (actors, penises, testicles, history entries) ever seemed to fit perfectly well. I hate thinking that any one of you could be the poster of that anonymous AskMe.

From day 1, I assumed that "taters" were pictures. I can't explain it, but if you replace taters with pictures, that question and response make sense.

I've thought about it and here's how I think it works:
Photograph -> Photato -> Potato -> Tater.

But I've got a vivid imagination. And no, I'm not the anonymous poster.
posted by Simon Barclay at 4:44 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


The Altais, Nenetses, Bashkirs, Mordvins, and Karelians, and Yakuts are also champions!
posted by gubo at 4:45 PM on February 19, 2010 [8 favorites]


Okay, now that should have been a Mefi post.
posted by ocherdraco at 4:48 PM on February 19, 2010 [4 favorites]


I understand the whole Tatarian Rhapsody suite totally kicks ass.
posted by mosk at 4:53 PM on February 19, 2010


This makes me laugh and feel funny in my pants.

You should take yourself over to the Olympic Pants War-- it is funny AND pants.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:03 PM on February 19, 2010


I understand the whole Tatarian Rhapsody suite totally kicks ass.

*Briefly considers an epic hardcore gay porn version of Bohemian Rhapsody and then thinks better of it and goes back to cooking dinner like an adult*
posted by The Whelk at 5:07 PM on February 19, 2010 [2 favorites]


I meant to post this yesterday. I was watching My Name Is Earl (you could not possibly mock me more than I already do myself for this), and a cop on the show referred to a woman's breasts as taters. There wasn't any indication that it was just his own idiosyncratic way of referring to them, so I am going with it, because I have spent too much time wondering about this, and I want it solved.
posted by amj at 6:01 PM on February 19, 2010


it was me.
posted by toodleydoodley at 6:25 PM on February 19, 2010


что
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:25 PM on February 19, 2010


Why is everyone always so confused about this? "Taters" is just a short slang term for "potatoes." I fail to see what's so difficult to grasp.

I am, however, somewhat uneasy about the fact that they're allowing potatoes to compete in the Olympics.
posted by koeselitz at 6:49 PM on February 19, 2010


Chocolate Pickle: “I've always thought Estonians were pretty funny.”

I have watched enough Stephen Fry to know that Etonians are infinitely more fun to make fun of than Estonians.
posted by koeselitz at 6:51 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


HAHA. What other ethnic groups can we make fun of?

Uzbeks.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:03 PM on February 19, 2010


Chocolate Pickle: I've always thought Estonians were pretty funny.

Europe According to Estonians.
posted by Kattullus at 7:09 PM on February 19, 2010 [9 favorites]


Compton High School sports teams are the Tartars. The school shared the nickname with Compton College, so the high school team's nickname was shortened to the Baby Tartars. Which then got shortened to "Tarbabes." They still use this nickname today.

Compton.

Tarbabes. Tarbabies. Tar baby.

You do the math.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:00 PM on February 19, 2010


Does anyone have the link to the original AskMeFi question? I looked, but "taters" doesn't work as a tag there as far as I can tell. And also, are "taters" balls? Was that ever decided?
posted by Kloryne at 8:58 PM on February 19, 2010


This is a thing for me, as I used to date a guy whose nickname was "Tater."
posted by Kloryne at 9:02 PM on February 19, 2010


Here is the post.
posted by jgirl at 9:15 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


Here is the MeTa.

I wonder if she's still here.
posted by jgirl at 9:17 PM on February 19, 2010


It could be any one of us.

Think about it, when you're looking up and down the table your next meetup: Behind any one of those joyful, laughing, nerdy faces could be a brain bursting with SECRET TATER KNOWLEDGE.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:49 PM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


Thank you for the Tater info post. Someday I will find the answer.
posted by Kloryne at 10:35 PM on February 19, 2010


Thanks for posting the links to the originals, they were before my time here, and the MeTa was the best entertainment I've had tonight.
posted by patheral at 10:36 PM on February 19, 2010


Welp, just like before - it only made me hungry for carbs. Shit.
posted by Kloryne at 10:38 PM on February 19, 2010


DO NOT FUCK WITH TATARS

Holy fuck, there's a cow on fire in that scene.






No, like, there's literally a cow on fucking fire.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:57 PM on February 19, 2010


Ah, Andrei Rublev... a friend and me went to see it, and it was quite something. A real wonder of a film but also a real pain to experience. Tarkovsky is supposed to have said something like: "Entertainment has no place in the cinema" and Andrei Rublev really doesn't let up. Early on there's a jester and these guys just show up and kill him. After that it's grim from end to end (and really pretty and stunning and amazing and profound). After we came out of the film, my friend and I said to each other: "Well... now that's over" at which point it started to hail. We shook our fists at the sky and shouted: "Tarkovsky! Do you never stop?!"
posted by Kattullus at 12:34 AM on February 20, 2010 [5 favorites]


Tarbabes. Tarbabies. Tar baby.

You do the math.


I have absolutely no idea what that is supposed to add up to. Please explain it.
posted by jacalata at 12:43 AM on February 20, 2010


Dat ass.

Wait, what?
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:48 AM on February 20, 2010


> I've always thought Estonians were pretty funny.

I read this as Etonians.
posted by paduasoy at 2:36 AM on February 20, 2010


I opened this thread hoping to see some nice TaTa's. Colour me disappointed.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:59 AM on February 20, 2010


Find a couple more links and send it to the Blue.

And then, as one wealthy magnate once said, "Let them have their tartar sauce...."
posted by Atreides at 6:24 AM on February 20, 2010


I can't take it any more! I DEMAND THAT ANONYMOUS REVEAL HERSELF AND EXPLAIN THESE TATERS!!!
posted by JeffK at 7:09 AM on February 20, 2010


German Täter - perpetrator, culprit, person guilty of something? Does this have a Yiddish cognate with a similar meaning, by any chance?
posted by nangar at 10:03 AM on February 20, 2010


I have absolutely no idea what that is supposed to add up to. Please explain it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_baby#Term
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:05 AM on February 20, 2010


So is this the thread where MeFi realize that making fun of non-Americans is a White American pastime?

Congratulations, Metafilter.
posted by hal_c_on at 1:38 PM on February 20, 2010


Could perhaps one of the mods look up who it was and contact them privately to ask what taters are? I realize this is very non-standard...but it's also a very special situation.
posted by Brainy at 2:28 PM on February 20, 2010


I think I know what the "taters" are...

n. the rectum, referred to sexually.

Makes sense in context right? Do I win a prize?
posted by deacon_blues at 2:33 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and I've got say, the other "We Are The Champions" videos linked by gubo are absolutely golden.

Especially the Nenetse one-- it's this crystalline, angelic choir singing in the snow with a digeridoo-like reindeer belch about 15 seconds from the end. Highly recommended.

(And if the reindeer has any solo albums, I'm totally going to buy them.)
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:20 PM on February 20, 2010


deacon_blues: Makes sense in context right? Do I win a prize?

Here's the notorious paragraph:
The first exposure to his site (which had softcore tators on the site) was not due to “snooping.” HE CALLED ME INTO HIS OFFICE. When I looked at his history I did not break any locks or hack his computer, I merely walked in and looked at his history, and the sites in that history contained hardcore taters, and it is sexual harassment to expose people in the workplace to sexual material against their will, especially if that person finds taters (straight or gay) to be offensive.
Here it is with the word rectum inserted:
The first exposure to his site (which had softcore rectums on the site) was not due to “snooping.” HE CALLED ME INTO HIS OFFICE. When I looked at his history I did not break any locks or hack his computer, I merely walked in and looked at his history, and the sites in that history contained hardcore rectums, and it is sexual harassment to expose people in the workplace to sexual material against their will, especially if that person finds rectums (straight or gay) to be offensive.
It makes more sense than most explanations, but "softcore rectums" makes no sense.
posted by Kattullus at 4:56 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


That was awesome!
posted by Coaticass at 5:10 PM on February 20, 2010


jesus christ. the thing that's most frustrating about the taters thing is that there really is no way in heaven or hell that we will ever know for sure. it's worse than the jack the ripper mystery, the bermuda triangle and amelia earhart combined. we can suppose, if we wanted, that technology will one day give us the ability to unearth new evidence even from the ancient past, if we're optimistic enough to make such a supposition.

but this? if aliens landed tomorrow, with technology millions of years ahead of ours, cured cancer and AIDS, gave us free sustainable healthy food production and a carbon neutral propellant for all of our vehicles, pointed a laser at the site of a Ripper murder and told us it was detective aberline's naughty cousin, found bigfoot, pulled a methuselan amelia earhart from a cave in the south pacific (alive and well), they'd STILL look at that taters post and be like, "what the FUCK is a tater in that context?! AAARRRGGGHHH THISISGONNADRIVEMECRAZY."
posted by shmegegge at 5:50 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


I still think it just means 'potato.'
posted by koeselitz at 5:57 PM on February 20, 2010


Of course, if deacon_blues' explanation were correct, it would still make sense. Slang words like that are usually a little looser, and don't necessarily call for a one-to-one correspondence. So I have a feeling the anonymous OP could very likely have meant "butt" for "taters." "Softcore rectum" may not make any sense, but "softcore butt" does - I think - doesn't it?
posted by koeselitz at 6:02 PM on February 20, 2010


Also, one might consider inserting the word "anal" for "taters." Makes more sense, I think.
posted by koeselitz at 6:04 PM on February 20, 2010


Softcore anal? Is there such a thing?

Maybe her boss was just playing Pornstar or Potato.
posted by Kattullus at 6:05 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Kattullus, that made me laugh so hard I think I ruptured my tater.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:41 PM on February 20, 2010


Also, one might consider inserting the word "anal" for "taters." Makes more sense, I think.

softcore anal? people who are offended by anals? no, it's a thing that you can see, which can come in multiples, which can be offensive to see (either in straight or gay varieties), which comes in softcore and hardcore flavors. and it's sexual.
posted by shmegegge at 6:42 PM on February 20, 2010


The really worrying thing is that 'tater' is a word for a concept that no one has named yet, except that anonymous poster.
posted by Kattullus at 7:45 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Isn't softcore anal, like, an image where you don't actually see the penis going into the butt, but you just see the young fellow sort of bent down, with another guy sort of right up behind him?

Or is that still hardcore?

I never know. Somehow it seems like should have to do with whether it's a video or a still image, but I don't know why.
posted by koeselitz at 8:51 PM on February 20, 2010


Also, K, 'pornstar or potato?' is fucking hilarious, and I am embarrassed at how much I just laughed.
posted by koeselitz at 8:55 PM on February 20, 2010


This is just a test post for some HTML formatting...

This is some italics.

Some underline.
Strike it out!




One time I was walking along and I wondered if dogs got dizzy - you know when they run around.
“Of course they do”

Code shows up differently?

– – –
posted by bigmusic at 12:29 PM on March 4, 2010


How *dare* you. This thread, weeks old or not, is serious business.
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:39 PM on March 4, 2010


My apologies to the tatars.
posted by bigmusic at 8:26 AM on March 5, 2010


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