Posting Cherry-Breaker July 17, 2010 11:51 PM   Subscribe

Getting ready for my first post!

I am actually pretty darn excited! I've been exploring for a couple of weeks and I'm ready to devour chunks of the Internet to find something that is unique and compelling for my FIRST OFFICIAL POST. Any tips or advice before I run out and make a huge mistake?
posted by Hasai to Etiquette/Policy at 11:51 PM (155 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

there's an app for that. I'll sell it to you for $4,000. Mefi mail me for details.
posted by parmanparman at 11:52 PM on July 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


My advice: essentially pointless Meta talk threads about your own hypothetical future posts are in and of themselves generally a mistake.

Maybe not a huge mistake, but that will depend on how many comments get in here before the mods close it up. :)
posted by diocletian at 11:57 PM on July 17, 2010 [17 favorites]


Too late... You've already made your "first post" (right here in MetaTalk). Congrats!
posted by amyms at 12:01 AM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Besides, even if you make a "huge mistake" on your first post on the blue, no one will hold it against you (unless it's a self-link, which will unleash hatred and scorn for all eternity). Just jump right in and take your chances; most of us don't bite!
posted by amyms at 12:05 AM on July 18, 2010


Oh dear.

Well, to change the subject, I'm stirring down the last stages of a lovely green zebra (tomato) and serrano chile jam. What are the rest of you doing tonight?
posted by desuetude at 12:05 AM on July 18, 2010


I like open-ended questions like this - I get to make up my own ones to answer, where the answers are always 'yes'.

Yes, devour chunks of the Internet in search of a topic, but don't go looking for the 'most unique thing out there' unless you really want to talk about it.
Yes, get excited, but don't let that rush your post.
Yes, beanplate the wording of your post a bit, but not at the expense of having fun.
Yes, read up on the community FAQ, but not so much as to scare you from trying something on the edges.
Yes, ask for advice, but be more specific next time :)
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:08 AM on July 18, 2010


Any tips or advice before I run out and make a huge mistake?

Taking it too seriously or becoming too emotionally invested in it. As the surfers like to say - go for it, your body floats.

What are the rest of you doing tonight?

I'm cleaning my kitchen and rearranging furniture at midnight on a Saturday night and it's awesome. Well, I'm procrastinating on that at the moment, but that's awesome, too.
posted by loquacious at 12:14 AM on July 18, 2010


(Please post bean chili recipes. Vegetarian or carnivore.)
posted by loquacious at 12:16 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


i just want to tell you both good luck. we're all counting on you.
posted by special-k at 12:18 AM on July 18, 2010 [10 favorites]


I'm playing cortex's accursed game.

You're 15 for 24, with 3 skipped.
posted by cgc373 at 12:19 AM on July 18, 2010


loquacious said: (Please post bean chili recipes. Vegetarian or carnivore.)

What do you have against omnivore chili? Hmmm? (omnivore chili = throw in everything but the kitchen sink)
posted by amyms at 12:20 AM on July 18, 2010


Any tips or advice before I run out and make a huge mistake?

Too late.
posted by empath at 12:36 AM on July 18, 2010 [5 favorites]


Found something cool on the web and want to share it with everyone else? Great! Just fill the blanks and it'll go live.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:40 AM on July 18, 2010


1. Read the FAQ.
2. Avoid using the phrase "cherry-breaker" when you post.
3. Don't make your first ever post in MeTa.

Hey, you still have a chance to do #1!
posted by donnagirl at 12:48 AM on July 18, 2010 [11 favorites]


LURK MOAR
posted by jacalata at 12:49 AM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Oh wait, I forgot:

4. Don't favorite your own doomed MeTa posts.
posted by donnagirl at 12:49 AM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


donnagirl said: 4. Don't favorite your own doomed MeTa posts.

Oh, ouch! Hasai, have no fear, favoriting your own posts isn't necessary because they'll always be available at your fingertips via your Recent Activity link.
posted by amyms at 12:58 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Premature e-post-ulation!
posted by Cat Face at 1:17 AM on July 18, 2010


What do you have against omnivore chili? Hmmm? (omnivore chili = throw in everything but the kitchen sink)

The last time I tried that I had too many complaints about the jet turbine blades, used tires and garden gnomes. Come to think of it the unwashed hobo socks weren't too popular either.
posted by loquacious at 1:52 AM on July 18, 2010 [4 favorites]


Just do it. If it's good, hooray. If it's not, we'll make fun of it or delete it and you can start again at the "Just do it." part and hopefully you learned something.

[By the way, that's advice which applies to basically every part of life, for varying levels. of fun making.]
posted by andoatnp at 1:54 AM on July 18, 2010


and don't rack yourself with post post regrets
posted by infini at 1:58 AM on July 18, 2010


Do not go looking for things to post to Metafilter.

When you come across something that seems worth sharing, then do so. With luck, the snark brigade won't show up and make you regret it. If they do, well: fuck 'em.

This is all the goddamned advice you need.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:19 AM on July 18, 2010 [23 favorites]


You could just google something. There are a lot of websites on the google, but maybe the facebook has more to choose from.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:30 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Actually, what you should do is compose an original poem--it doesn't have to be long, maybe just 20 or so stanzas. Then, make every word a hyperlink to a video on redtube.com or youporn.com. Bonus favorites if the links related to the words.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:37 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and don't use the extended description for that one. It should all be on the frontpage.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:38 AM on July 18, 2010


I would make a "first post" about how to use the term "cherrybreaker" in a manner that elicits thoughts about the nobility of human discourse here on Metafilter.

I bet that if you devour chunks of the internet using that as a search term, you're going to have one hell of a post...
posted by HuronBob at 2:59 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


*deeply ponders HuronBob's profound insight*
posted by infini at 3:01 AM on July 18, 2010


Yes, yes—read the FAQ. But also read the guidelines.

Agreed with stavros: the better approach to post-making is more Zen. Don't go in search of a link, let it come to you.

Before you post your awesome link to http://www.example.com, take the 'example.com' part out of the URL and pop it into the search box at the top right corner of the MetaFilter home page. Any other posts that have linked to that domain will show up and you will be able to avoid a double post deletion.
posted by carsonb at 3:27 AM on July 18, 2010


Also, there's no pressure to make a post. Plenty of active MeFites participate without cluttering up the front page with the vomitous results of their devouring.
posted by carsonb at 3:29 AM on July 18, 2010


Also also, padwan is obviously not ready for an FPP if you're self-favoriting. Self-favoriting does not a Jedi poster make.
posted by carsonb at 3:32 AM on July 18, 2010


It's breakfast time, East Coast United States. Maybe pumpkin pancakes? Or waffles.
posted by fixedgear at 3:58 AM on July 18, 2010


Pumpkin waffles?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 4:04 AM on July 18, 2010


Scrambled eggs, made lovingly with a spot of milk, some cheese, perhaps a fried tomato on the side and there may even be a sausage in the freezer...
posted by infini at 4:23 AM on July 18, 2010


My plan is huevos rancheros, with little orange grape tomatoes fried in the pan with the eggs, and maybe that green bell pepper that's getting a bit old, plus pintos I've been cooking all night and salsa.

I once had chocolate chip pumpkin pancakes for Halloween brunch.
posted by Mizu at 4:35 AM on July 18, 2010


Any tips or advice before I run out and make a huge mistake?

Don't overthink it. Anything you post will have it's fair share of admirers and haters. In the end, it doesn't really matter. And if it's really a huge mistake, the mods will clean it up, like it never really happened. All is forgiven!

I'm sure your first post will be great. Just dive in and go for it.
posted by crunchland at 5:02 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


What crunchland said. Your metaphor is perhaps a bit overblown. Post something you think people will like. Don't be a jerk if it turns out they don't like it. Follow the guidelines. Post something else. Repeat. Etc.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:22 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's possible to go out looking for posts, but the best way is to not look at all, but have your feelers out for cool stuff and follow links that seem interesting. Don't worry, not every post is gonna go over splendidly, just keep going and make more posts.

Oh, and don't mind the razzing you're getting in MeTa, it's the boozy, backstage area of MetaFilter. This is where we hang, nursing our crushed dreams and scarred egos, waiting for something to happen that makes us feel that life is worth living after all.
posted by Kattullus at 6:11 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


3. Don't make your first ever post in MeTa.

Oh. Nobody told me that.

However it turns out a minimum of 525 other users have made their first post in MetaTalk, so I'm in good company.
posted by FishBike at 6:19 AM on July 18, 2010 [8 favorites]


waiting for something to happen that makes us feel that life is worth living after all.

Oh, you still have hope? That's adorable.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 6:22 AM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh, and don't mind the razzing you're getting in MeTa, it's the boozy, backstage area of MetaFilter. This is where we hang, nursing our crushed dreams and scarred egos, waiting for something to happen that makes us feel that life is worth living after all.

Or just crack open that beer, sigh deeply and stare at the outside through the windows at the view of the worlds colliding into each other just like one of those executive stress buster thingies...

where's the bucket with the mop already, hugs?
posted by infini at 6:24 AM on July 18, 2010


Any tips or advice before I run out and make a huge mistake?

We've never had a post about gay unicorn porn, enacted by real people in horse outfits. So if you're really looking for your first post to be unique and memorable...
posted by new brand day at 6:27 AM on July 18, 2010


Actually a great first post would prove the truth or falsity of the tale that in France during the Mistral violent crimes were legally forgiven. (Sourced as far back as possible of course)

I've been working on that one -off and on when the mood strikes- for like 2 years.
posted by vapidave at 6:34 AM on July 18, 2010


Unless you know something about the internet no one else knows, the chances that you'll blow everyone's mind with some amazing discovery are vanishingly small. We all have google.

A great front page post ("FPP" around these parts) reflects your efforts to filter that vast storehouse of knowledge in an engaging, smart way. So post on something where you know the subject, and can point us toward truly interesting and unique resources dealing with the subject. You use your expertise -- make sure *you* read the things you're posting first. Make sure, too, that whatever you post hasn't been posted before, or not in the last few years. If it's something that's all over the various aggregator sites (Digg, Reddit, whatever) the chances are we've all already seen it. Doesn't mean it isn't possible that it belongs here, but most of us know what's hot out there.

Don't overthink it. Don't write a novel. Don't editorialize in the FPP. If it's long, put the bulk of it behind the "more inside" link so you don't hog the front page. And once it's posted, try to stay back and don't write a lot of comments in your own post (known as "moderating your own post"). People will like it, or not, or they may ignore it and you'll get only 12 comments or whatever. Don't take it personally.

Remember the point here is to direct smart people to interesting resources online that they may not have seen, to do the "filtering" for your readers, or else to put up something that is just so cool or fun or funny or interesting (and not widely known) that it improves someone's day to see something they would have otherwise missed. The subsequent discussion is just gravy.

Also, have a look at deletedthread.blogspot. com to see the regular stream of posts that get deleted. A lot can be learned from studying the reasons for those deletions.

Welcome aboard.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:34 AM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


gay unicorn porn, enacted by real people in horse outfits

Starting point? At least, in terms of WTF factor.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 6:34 AM on July 18, 2010


I stupidly, sleepily posted one of the most offensive things that's ever been posted to the front page, and before it was (rightfully) deleted, it spawned a meta thread with 300+ comments. I survived. WHATEVER you post, unless it's a self-link, will be better than that.
posted by desjardins at 6:41 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I stupidly, sleepily posted one of the most offensive things that's ever been posted to the front page, and before it was (rightfully) deleted, it spawned a meta thread with 300+ comments.

Metatalk link?

You know, for schadenfreude.
posted by 256 at 7:01 AM on July 18, 2010


Yes, please, the link.
posted by new brand day at 7:05 AM on July 18, 2010


desjardins, I don't remember that. What was the spawned-link?

Which is really the point, Hasai. Don't be so overly sensitive; unless you self-link and are banned, nobody is going to remember who you are and what you posted a couple of days later. Honestly, with thousands of members it is going to be tough to stand out from the crowd and be memorable-- chances are it may never happen. So relax and bask in the comforting knowledge that you, Hasai, are not going to make much of a ripple in the vast pond that is MetaFilter. Probably.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:08 AM on July 18, 2010


Wow, I can't believe y'all don't remember this.
posted by desjardins at 7:10 AM on July 18, 2010


What crunchland said.

Aye. The advanced class is in his profile, though.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:22 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm considering a nice breakfast polenta, even though it's a million degrees outside, cause I still have lots of CSA blueberries. But there is NO MASCARPONE in the fridge. Why is there no mascarpone in the fridge? I have no idea. I suppose I could mix a little sour cream into the cream cheese and substitute, but it's not really the same thing. Not by a long shot, actually.
posted by crush-onastick at 7:49 AM on July 18, 2010


I had a dumb first post. Not a self-link or anything, just...not that interesting. Then I made a couple that were a little better. It's no big deal.
posted by danb at 7:49 AM on July 18, 2010


Wow, I can't believe y'all don't remember this.

Sorry, was trying to forget the stupidity of that MeTa post.
posted by new brand day at 7:57 AM on July 18, 2010


Also, just noticed the title of this post "Posting Cherry-Breaker". Metafilter is sensitive about such language and it would be advisable not to use it unless you fully understand what you may be inadvertently stirring up.
posted by new brand day at 7:58 AM on July 18, 2010


agreed because cherries are disgusting especially among a pie
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:25 AM on July 18, 2010


(Please post bean chili recipes. Vegetarian or carnivore.)

Black Bean Chili
from Greens Restaurant, San Francisco

* 2 c. black turtle beans, soaked overnight
* 1 bay leaf
* 4 t. cumin seeds
* 4 t dried oregano
* 4 t. paprika
* 1/2 t. cayenne
* 2 to 3 T. chili powder
* 3 T. corn or peanut oil
* 3 medium yellow onions, diced into 1/4 - inch squares
* 4 cloves garlic, coarsely chopped
* 1/2 t. salt
* 1 1/2 lbs. ripe or canned tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and chopped, juice reserved
* 1 to 2 t. chopped chilpotle chili (see note below)
* 1 T. rice wine vinegar
* 4 T. cilantro, chopped
* Garnishes:
o 1/2 to 3/4 cup muenster cheese, grated
o Green chilies: 2 poblano or Anaheim, roasted, peeled, diced; or 2 oz. canned green chilies, rinsed and diced
o 1/2 cup creme fraiche or sour cream
o 6 sprigs cilantro

Drain the beans, cover with fresh water by a couple of inches, and bring to a boil with the bay leaf. Lower the heat and let the beans simmer while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.

Heat a small heavy skillet over medium heat. Add the cumin seeds, and when they begin to color, add the oregano, shaking the pan frequently so the herbs don't burn. When the fragrance is strong and robust, remove the pan from the heat and add the paprika and cayenne. Stir spices and remove from the pan. (The paprika and cayenne only need a few seconds to toast.) Grind in a mortar or coffee mill to a coarse powder.

Heat the oil and sauté the onions over medium heat until they soften. Add the garlic, salt, ground herbs, and chili powder, and cook another 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes, their juice, and about a teaspoon of the chilpotle chili. Simmer for 15 minutes; then add this mixture to the beans, along with enough water (if necessary) so the beans are covered by at least 1 inch. Continue cooking the beans until they are soft, an hour or longer, adding water if necessary.

When the beans are cooked, taste them, and add more chilpotle if desired. Season with the vinegar, more salt if needed, and chopped cilantro. Serve with garnishes.
posted by ottereroticist at 8:28 AM on July 18, 2010 [4 favorites]


The advanced class is in his profile, though.

And it's already been repudiated in this very thread. The method I wrote about -- four years ago? -- does involve searching for items to post, and not relying on the beneficent ether to provide it to you on a silver platter. I suppose the zen part is being able to filter out all the stuff that is "meh" and come up with the golden nugget. But I've recently tried to use the old method to come up with something to post, and I found that it just doesn't work so well anymore. I don't know if I can isolate what the problem is. I think that maybe it's that there just aren't as many link blogs as there used to be ... perhaps because of the very success of sites like Metafilter. And just when I think I have come up with something great and worth posting, I discover that it was already posted here 6 months ago.
posted by crunchland at 8:29 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


3. Don't make your first ever post in MeTa.

Oh. Nobody told me that.

However it turns out a minimum of 525 other users have made their first post in MetaTalk, so I'm in good company.


I bow before the mighty power of the Infodump and Fishbike its scribe, and withdraw my suggestion. I'm sticking with the "cherry-breaker" rule though.
posted by donnagirl at 8:48 AM on July 18, 2010


I've recently tried to use the old method to come up with something to post, and I found that it just doesn't work so well anymore.

Probably still works better than my "method" of just scanning my gchat list to see what links my friends are dangling in their status messages.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:52 AM on July 18, 2010


I came in to link to crunchland's profile and was sad to see that a) somebody got there before me and b) crunchland him or herself has disavowed it.
posted by the latin mouse at 9:08 AM on July 18, 2010


It's a couple minutes to 1 o'clock in the a.m. in Kyoto, but at 11 p.m., I rode my bike over to a friend's house and had the satisfaction of hand-delivering 10 packaged copies the final edit DVD of his band's farewell concert. Two camera-shoot, I edited and packaged everything myself.

I think the appropriate song for Hasai would be, "Too Late."
posted by planetkyoto at 9:10 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


crunchland him or herself has disavowed it. Aw. I'm sorry. For all I know, it could just be that I don't have the patience or inclination that I used to. If it works for you, I'd love to hear about it.
posted by crunchland at 9:17 AM on July 18, 2010


But there is NO MASCARPONE in the fridge.

Weird. Any luscious fresh ricotta? I could lend you a spoonful if you need it...
posted by desuetude at 9:24 AM on July 18, 2010


If any fruit is going to be damaged in your upcoming maiden FPP the preference is for crushing a kumquat or, at a pinch, slightly bruising a punnet of strawberries. Anything approaching actual fructicide is frowned on.
posted by Abiezer at 9:30 AM on July 18, 2010


FPPs are a mystery of life. imho.
posted by infini at 9:38 AM on July 18, 2010


Make it about cats or Mel Gibson, please.
posted by cmoj at 9:44 AM on July 18, 2010


The title of this reminds me of a fascinating post on The Pursuit of Harpyness a while back: Hymenology 101. Short version: there is no cherry. But go read it, it's great.

I posted my black bean chili recipe a while back, but I just called it "beans."

Also, desuetude, the zebra and serrano jam recipe please! Is it sweet? Or more tangy?
posted by zinfandel at 9:52 AM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


Nope, no ricotta either. Actually, aside from some farmer's cheese from the CSA and the aformentioned cream cheese, there's no soft cheese at all. There is a tiny hunk left of the manchego the neighbor brought me from Spain. An enormous wedge of domestic parmesan-reggiano. A raclette, some Dubliner, some Wisconsin cheddar, and square of Norwegian(?) Swedish(?) Danish(?) pub cheese Guy bought months ago and has never opened. There may be Velveeta. There's definitely cottage cheese and yogurt and sour cream. At any rate, it's lunchtime, now, and I think I'll boil up some pasta and use up the garlic scape pesto that's in there.
posted by crush-onastick at 9:53 AM on July 18, 2010


If you're still reading down here, my suggestion is to relax. Your first post may go well or it might flop, but unless you get banned or flame out, you can always try again. And again. Then you realize no one post is special or magical, and you might even forget what the first one was about.

Any way, post something interesting, and let it go. Unless no one reads the links and you clarify, don't jump in and try to moderate the thread.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:01 AM on July 18, 2010


Use more lube than you think you'll need, then double it.

No, wait, that's for teh buttsechs.

Still, good advice.
posted by klangklangston at 10:19 AM on July 18, 2010


Yes: no searching for things to post to metafilter. Too deliberate. When you run across something excellent, you can just remember that you have a place to share it (if it is truly that excellent, like a story about a stone baby born in Zaire).
posted by Hildegarde at 10:26 AM on July 18, 2010


Yes: no searching for things to post to metafilter. Too deliberate.

That's right, 'cause it's impossible to deliberately find good things.
posted by new brand day at 10:29 AM on July 18, 2010


new brand day: We've never had a post about gay unicorn porn, enacted by real people in horse outfits. So if you're really looking for your first post to be unique and memorable...

Actually, it's already pretty much been posted... and a while ago... it sure was unique and for those of us foolish enough to watch it, it's permanently burned into our retinas. Every time I close my eyes all I see is googly eyes and an open buttflap.
posted by Kattullus at 10:34 AM on July 18, 2010


That might just be glaucoma.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:47 AM on July 18, 2010 [4 favorites]


I am this very moment making Double Meat Chili which actually if you count the bacon as separate from the ground pork is triple meat chili.

Bring water to a boil and then submerge 6 dried chilies of your choice in order to rehydrate. Saute in a large frying pan a large, chopped onion, handful of jalapenos, some minced garlic, and some chopped bacon. Cook until bacon is done and veggies are soft. Meanwhile on a chopping board cut-up a 3 lb piece of chuck roast, sprinkle it and shake about a tablespoon of cumin over it. When the veggies look done, add a pound of ground pork to the pan and lightly salt mixture. Meanwhile in the food processor dump in your drained, softened chilies, 2 TB ground chili, a good bit of oregano, 1 TB Worcestershire, 2 TB brown sugar, another TB of cumin, and a 14 oz can of chopped tomatoes with peppers. Blend.

When the pork/veg/bacon is cooked toss into the bottom of a stew pot or crock pot. Throw your beef into the frying pan (no need to rinse out) and brown. Cook in sections so each panful gets a nice brown color. Toss all beef into cooking pot. Throw the blended tomato stuff into the frying pan and deglaze all that nice brown stuff. Toss that into the pot. Finally open a bottle of dark beer and use it to swish out the stuff from the frying pan and the food processor. That goes into the pot.

If using crock pot you are good to go: 8 hours on low, 4 on high.

If using stew pot add a bit more liquid-- water or lo salt beef broth-- and simmer 2 hours.

Add black beans if you like.

As to what kind of dried chilies to use, I usually use a combination of ancho, New Mexican, and ? You notice I don't tell you how much of some things-- that's where you put your own signature on the dish. You can finish off the dish with Tabasco, more brown sugar, and/or lime juice to taste.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 10:55 AM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


First!
posted by mazola at 11:05 AM on July 18, 2010


Last!
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 11:06 AM on July 18, 2010


Fourth!
posted by infini at 11:09 AM on July 18, 2010


I signed up in 2005, was an active user from the beginning, and made my first post in 2009 (and have made exactly 2 more posts since then). In my experience, there was no downside of waiting 4 years to post. The longer you wait, the more familiar you'll be with the Metafilter standards. You signed up a couple weeks ago and could use some work on knowing how to construct an appropriate post. (For instance: don't favorite your own post immediately after posting it, don't draw excessive attention to yourself, don't use all caps, don't express a desire to post an FPP for the sake of posting something, don't refer to Metafilter as a virgin that you're waiting to deflower, etc.) If I were you, I'd wait months if not years. (This goes even if you've been lurking before getting an account -- I lurked for years before signing up.)
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:17 AM on July 18, 2010


Cherry-breaker.
posted by mazola at 11:22 AM on July 18, 2010


It's okay to make "a huge mistake" if your last name is Bluth, because IIRC, this phrase is a plot driver and/or precedes some kind of denouement to the entire family.

Otherwise, it's just going to be one of the things we referenced before we jumped you into our gang via MeTa. :)
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:28 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Do you have your own qebsite/blog? You should post that.
posted by nestor_makhno at 11:31 AM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


desuetude: "What are the rest of you doing tonight?"

This morning I am eating discount over ripe nectarines (STICKY KEYBOARD) and reading MeTa. But around the time you asked that question I was just getting done tearing my mattress into tiny bits with bolt cutters and a hack saw and knives and a shovel and a hammer and scissors with a contact mic shoved down in the middle to make reverberant metallic clanging sounds amplifying the network of springs with the help of a few experimental poets who showed up at my house and a camcorder recording the whole thing and alcohol. I have tiny little cuts all over my hands and legs from the sharp cut ends of springs as I wrestled the mattress's corpse. I call the performance "the analysis of dreams".

Yeah that is why I had to miss the 11th anniversary party.
posted by idiopath at 11:36 AM on July 18, 2010 [6 favorites]


new brand day: We've never had a post about gay unicorn porn, enacted by real people in horse outfits. So if you're really looking for your first post to be unique and memorable...

http://lesailes.hermes.com/us/en/

Hermes "I Am A Horse".

Just sayin.
posted by The Whelk at 11:38 AM on July 18, 2010


BTW broken blisters and tiny cuts all over + eating over ripe nectarines = little stinging sensations all over mixed with sour and sweet and sticky if anyone did not already know that.
posted by idiopath at 11:40 AM on July 18, 2010


MetaFilter: A virgin that you're waiting to deflower





sniggers opens another beer
sniggers some more
posted by infini at 11:44 AM on July 18, 2010


little stinging sensations all over mixed with sour and sweet and sticky

Sounds like my Saturday night!

*tugs collar* yeesh, tough crowd.
posted by Think_Long at 11:48 AM on July 18, 2010


it's a website, not an entrance exam that you only get to take once. though since you are overthinking things already, i'm sure you'll fit in just fine.
posted by modernnomad at 12:12 PM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


Also, desuetude, the zebra and serrano jam recipe please! Is it sweet? Or more tangy?

Mine's more sweet-hot, but it's still definitely tomatoey.

* About a pound of tomatoes (I happen to have green zebras), remove skins with the x-cut/blanch trick. I don't bother de-seeding them.
* Three or four serranos, seeds removed (substitute any chili in any amount, this jam has a little kick but isn't crazy hot because my serranos are a bit overripe and mellowed.)
* A thumb of ginger, peeled with a spoon.
* Three or four cloves of garlic.
* About 10 oz sugar.
* Three teaspoons of fish sauce (nam pla) -- if you don't have any, just throw in some salt. Not the same, but it'll get you there.
* 1/2 cup vinegar (I used cider as to keep a golden-green color in the jam, but you can use red wine vinegar if you're using red tomatoes.)

Blend the first four ingredients in chopper/blender/processor. Add to a large pot with the rest of the ingredients. If you don't have a really good heavy-bottom pot, it's great to use one of these cheapo diffusers.

Cook on medium-high heat, stirring about once every ten minutes, until it starts getting jammy (about 30-40 min) at which point you'll need to stand over it and stir every few minutes.
posted by desuetude at 12:24 PM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


This morning I am eating discount over ripe nectarines (STICKY KEYBOARD) and reading MeTa. But around the time you asked that question I was just getting done tearing my mattress into tiny bits with bolt cutters and a hack saw and knives and a shovel and a hammer and scissors with a contact mic shoved down in the middle to make reverberant metallic clanging sounds amplifying the network of springs with the help of a few experimental poets who showed up at my house and a camcorder recording the whole thing and alcohol. I have tiny little cuts all over my hands and legs from the sharp cut ends of springs as I wrestled the mattress's corpse. I call the performance "the analysis of dreams".

Mmmf.

That's good enough for me, you've been spoused.
posted by desuetude at 12:27 PM on July 18, 2010


Cherry-breaker? Seriously? I'd call you out, but you're already here. Way to proactively draw attention to yourself and your future post. Good luck!
posted by iamkimiam at 12:46 PM on July 18, 2010


desuetude: "That's good enough for me, you've been spoused."

Happily reciprocated. How does one arrange a mefi espousenation honeymoon?
posted by idiopath at 1:09 PM on July 18, 2010


Make it about cats or Mel Gibson, please.

How about both?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.
posted by patheral at 1:26 PM on July 18, 2010


Every first post, regardless of the topic, should have a surprise goatse link. You can't go wrong with the classics.
posted by homunculus at 1:29 PM on July 18, 2010


razz the noob party is it?
posted by infini at 1:33 PM on July 18, 2010


Such adorable kittehs!
posted by jeoc at 1:35 PM on July 18, 2010


Happily reciprocated. How does one arrange a mefi espousenation honeymoon?

This is it. Better make the most of it, dear.
posted by desuetude at 1:47 PM on July 18, 2010


get a room you two...or post a recipe ;p
posted by infini at 1:58 PM on July 18, 2010


I can swallow handfuls of Lego bricks, flex my ab muscles to construct precision builds of little vehicles, and then vomit them up intact. I'm thinking about taking this on the road. What should my carny name be?
posted by Burhanistan at 2:03 PM on July 18, 2010


Perhaps some peaches could be poached. Or pears.
posted by fixedgear at 2:03 PM on July 18, 2010


I'm worried that "The Amazing Lego Spewer" will eventually catch the attention of their attorneys.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:04 PM on July 18, 2010


You could try being "The Poached Pear and Lego Builder ExtraOrdinaire"


maybe...



I know, what's with the ellipses today
posted by infini at 2:07 PM on July 18, 2010


*buzzing sound, followed by a gong*
posted by Burhanistan at 2:11 PM on July 18, 2010


"Macleid's Rockcastle Chili" from The 1997 Joy of Cooking

Saute in a large skillet until cracklings are golden brown:
1/2 lb. bacon, diced

Remove the bacon using a slotted spoon. In the drippings, saute, briefly:
1.5 lbs round steak, coarsely ground or chopped in a food processor
6 to 12 large cloves garlic, coarsely chopped
2 large onions, coarsely chopped


Deglaze the skillet, until foam disappears with:
One 12-oz bottle dark beer

Remove all to a large pot or Dutch oven. Stir in:
One 32-oz can tomatoes, with juice
One 16-oz can kidney beans, with juice
One 16-oz can great northern beans, with juice
One 16-oz can pinto beans, with juice
6 tablespoons ancho chili powder
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1.5 cups water or one 12-oz bottle dark beer


Simmer for about 3 hours, covered, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. Season to taste with:
Salt and ground black pepper
Red pepper sauce


Protips:
>I usually do the initial saute in the Dutch oven or large pot. This works fine and dirties one less pan.
>You can use any kind of beer you like and have on hand. I have used everything from hefeweizen to porter, and it all works fine.
>You can use regular chili powder if you don't have ancho chili powder.
>Ground turkey also works well in this recipe.
>The best part is that the crispy bacon pieces can be snacked on while you are working on the rest of the dish.
posted by jeoc at 2:15 PM on July 18, 2010


since we're on the topic, what's the etiquette for sitting by your new apartment's window and suddenly the smell of the some of the best ever wafts up from the backyard, just a floor below - does one go over and introduce oneself as the the new tenant or simply sigh ?
posted by infini at 2:16 PM on July 18, 2010


Sigh first, then go over.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:20 PM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


You could post an FPP trying to organise a swap of invites to different invite only sites. It might work...
posted by Elmore at 2:23 PM on July 18, 2010


I wonder what the average length of time from sign up to FPP, AskMe, and Metatalk post is.

I guess most people sign up for AskMe. So I'd guess that's the shortest lead time.

I joined two years ago after a couple of years of lurking and still haven't made an FPP, though I'm always on the lookout. I just haven't found anything that I was excited enough about to put something great together, like that awesome Pogues post from a while ago.

I haven't made a MetaTalk post and have a very hard time imagining the circumstances where I would.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:28 PM on July 18, 2010


The only things I'm expert enough to make posts on are musicians, and there's three or four posters who have that covered.

Plus I'd need a reason to post here and not on my blog, so they'd have to die or something, in which case someone will have posted breakingnewsfilter before I got there. Plus most of the ones I like are already dead.

The only other stuff I like is rage filled politics, which would get me eaten alive. So I'll just lurk a few more years.
posted by shinybaum at 2:50 PM on July 18, 2010


I wonder what the average length of time from sign up to FPP, AskMe, and Metatalk post is.

There are different ways of interpreting this question that will give different answers. Do we count each user only once, in whichever sub-site they posted in first? Or do we count each user's first post to each sub-site? And what do we do about users who have yet to post to a particular sub-site?

So here's what I get if I count each user's first post to each sub-site, and ignore users who have yet to post:
AskMe: 338 days
MeFi: 297 days
MeTa: 541 days
Music: 759 days
Hmm. One thing that might be throwing this off is that some users signed up before one or more of the sub-sites even existed. So how about we look at this only for users who signed up after Jan 1 2007 (after Music had been around for a few months):
AskMe: 121 days
MeFi: 199 days
MeTa: 319 days
Music: 171 days
That looks a little more like you expected I think.

Just to put some numbers to where people tend to make their first posts, counting each user only once based on wherever their earliest post is:
AskMe: 12,584 users
MeFi: 5,789 users
MeTa: 525 users
Music: 217 users
posted by FishBike at 3:35 PM on July 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


I guess now that I think about it, what I meant was first post that initiated discussion -- not a comment, but an AskMe, an FPP, etc. Or does post = post and comment = comment?

Do people sign up for Metafilter because:

a) they want to ask an AskMe they've got a pressing concern about
b) they want to participate in AskMe by responding
c) they're jacked up about something someone said on an FPP and they want to comment, dammit.
d) they want to present an FPP of their own


So I'm wondering -- for most people, what's the impetus to pay $5? (For me, it was that I lurked for a long time and wanted to participate in AskMe and I think a particular inspiration was that I was pregnant and I think just wanted to talk about it anonymously and intelligently and turns out the internet isn't actually generous in that regard.)
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:50 PM on July 18, 2010


I joined January 7, 2001; first post, January 13, 2001, and it's total crap that would get deleted immediately today.
posted by crunchland at 3:51 PM on July 18, 2010


So I'm wondering -- for most people, what's the impetus to pay $5?

I lurked on and off, maybe once a fortnight I'd read the first page and that was it. Then I had a vague feeling I'd like to make a post on Caprica and the way the brass were banking a lot on one actor to boost the ratings, so I joined but couldn't be arsed making the post.

Which is a good job because it turned out not to be very interesting.
posted by shinybaum at 3:57 PM on July 18, 2010


I guess now that I think about it, what I meant was first post that initiated discussion -- not a comment, but an AskMe, an FPP, etc. Or does post = post and comment = comment?

For all those stats above, they're about front-page posts, AskMe questions, etc. So posts, as distinct from comments. I try to use the word "contribution" when referring to a combination of posts and comments, and "activity" when looking at posts+comments+favorites.

So I'm wondering -- for most people, what's the impetus to pay $5? (For me, it was that I lurked for a long time and wanted to participate in AskMe and I think a particular inspiration was that I was pregnant and I think just wanted to talk about it anonymously and intelligently and turns out the internet isn't actually generous in that regard.)

For me it was that I'd gone through several iterations of thinking of a user name I could live with, but having nothing to say at that moment, didn't create an account. Then when I did have something to say, I forgot the name I'd come up with! So once I had been through that loop enough times, the next time I thought up a halfway decent user name, I signed up before I could forget it again.
posted by FishBike at 4:04 PM on July 18, 2010


I think maybe you should wait, get to know people on an emotional level before you just rush in there - build up a bit of trust, you know ?

Your first post is a very special and precious moment, don't fritter it away on people who won't respect you later.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:34 PM on July 18, 2010


> Your first post is a very special and precious moment, don't fritter it away on people who won't respect you later.

It's more like this around here.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:38 PM on July 18, 2010


My first post was about Britney Spears giving the finger to a crowd of Mexican fans.


I misspelled Mexican.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:01 PM on July 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


My first post was Single Link Video Post with obvious spelling errors and a misquote.


Nothing has changed.
posted by The Whelk at 5:02 PM on July 18, 2010


I haven't made a first post yet! It might be about toast. Or Taoists.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 5:17 PM on July 18, 2010


Getting ready for my first post!

Better put on the foil.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:31 PM on July 18, 2010


I signed up under the name 'wendell' before the site kept track of when you signed up, waited until February 10, 2000 to make my first post and then wrote a jokey post comparing two current news stories (both long-dead links to Yahoo News). It got two comments, one of which was mathowie himself saying "ha! good one foopster...". Of course, that little bit of encouragement emboldened me to commit many more posting sins since. Which is why Matt never gives new posters encouragement anymore.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 PM on July 18, 2010


2.5 years and no FPP yet. Sometimes I think about pre-writing obit threads for semi-obscure people with lots of good links and anecdotes that introduce these folks to MeFites who may not know of them, but then I start to worry about the lag time between "announcement of death" and "last-minute verification that all links work," during which someone would beat me to the punch with an obit that says "Joined the Choir Eternal, amirite?"

Also it's a bit morbid, and I'm more of an AskMe kind of girl anyway.
posted by catlet at 6:04 PM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Sometimes I think about pre-writing obit threads for semi-obscure people with lots of good links and anecdotes that introduce these folks to MeFites who may not know of them [...]

These would probably be good posts without the obituary aspect as well, wouldn't they? In which case, post away!
posted by FishBike at 6:12 PM on July 18, 2010


My advice: read this thread, decide that it's not worth it, and find something better to do with your time.

(Seriously, cherry-popping is already a euphemism; just not euphemistic enough for MetaFilter, I suppose. And interpreting the OP's intended meaning as 'popping MetaFilter's cherry' instead of the obvious intended meaning of 'popping my own cherry as a FPP-er on MetaFilter' is either intensely stupid or disingenuous.)
posted by Crabby Appleton at 7:15 PM on July 18, 2010


So I'm wondering -- for most people, what's the impetus to pay $5?

I can only speak for myself. I've been a reader for at least eight/nine years, but when I discovered the place, sign-ups were closed (or perhaps invite-only, not clear about that). I was champing at the bit already when signups were opened in 2004. I think there were other open periods before that that I missed. I just wanted to be able to join in conversation, nothing in particular. $5 is how much I spend at the coffee shop every day, not much of a hardship for a site I've been reading for nearly a decade of my life..
posted by cj_ at 7:25 PM on July 18, 2010


So I'm wondering -- for most people, what's the impetus to pay $5?

On my first account, it was a really interesting comment thread on the blue that I wanted to participate in.
On this (my second account), an appreciation for the community with a desire for a fresh start less linked to RL - I looked at my contributions one day and realized I had put a lot of information out there that I was not 100% comfortable sharing with everyone who knows me in the real world.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:45 PM on July 18, 2010



I signed up under the name 'wendell' before the site kept track of when you signed up, waited until February 10, 2000

why did you change your name ? Im all upset now.
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:08 PM on July 18, 2010


Qvantamon will be along to revoke your FPP purity ring shortly after you post.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:26 PM on July 18, 2010


I'm so sorry...


.
posted by mazola at 10:12 PM on July 18, 2010


I've been thinking of starting over - any good handle ideas?
posted by infini at 10:21 PM on July 18, 2010


infini: let me suggest "Dr. Spacepope"
posted by Navelgazer at 10:26 PM on July 18, 2010


Alternatively, it may do you well now to go by "?????"
posted by Navelgazer at 10:30 PM on July 18, 2010


hm, I was thinking more along the lines of Imperial_Oppressor

space pope? space pope?
posted by infini at 10:37 PM on July 18, 2010


Personally, I'd go with inifni. It's just enough to confuse the hell out of people.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:38 PM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


*giggles*


*ponders seriously*
posted by infini at 10:39 PM on July 18, 2010


Oh man, that's the post you made after worrying about it?
posted by cavalier at 4:55 AM on July 19, 2010 [4 favorites]


Well I guessed he popped his cherry. It isn't anything that I am interested in, but then I'm only a tiny, fragile snowflake in the great white blizzard that is MetaFilter.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:32 AM on July 19, 2010


It's a surprisingly well-thought out post though. They knew their audience, knew what buttons to push, and managed to get some newsfilter in there too. Posted like a veteran hasai, posted like a veteran.
posted by Think_Long at 9:03 AM on July 19, 2010 [2 favorites]


I just had some granola and plain yogurt. It was delicious. I thought about putting in some frozen blueberries, but then I realized I forgot them at home.
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:24 AM on July 19, 2010


If you're going to be posting tweets up in here, they had damn well better be more interesting than that.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:27 AM on July 19, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yeah, don't second guess yourself and delete your post two or three times before clicking that "Post Comment" button.
posted by Drasher at 9:31 AM on July 19, 2010


True, think_long, too true.

On re-read of my comment, hasai, I would read it as more of a genial "heh heh" and less of an evil snarky "you bastard."
posted by cavalier at 9:45 AM on July 19, 2010


This seems like a lot of build up for yet another place for people to bitch about the iPhone or Android.

My first post was about Google's IPO. And then I linked to an eBay auction next. Now I just double post a lot. How far I have come.
posted by chunking express at 11:59 AM on July 19, 2010


Protip: when performing the About To Post ritual, it's a good idea to light the candles after you sacrifice the cockerel but before you drink the rum. Doing it any other way invites unsafe fire handling conditions, and you don't want the smell of burned feathers interrupting your concentration when trying to verify your links.
posted by quin at 1:42 PM on July 19, 2010


Wait ten years...then, wait some more.
posted by gnomeloaf at 5:58 PM on July 19, 2010


I'm draining diet coke off the wife's MacBook (no, it wasn't me that spilt it). Fun times.
Yet to FPP, not sure my fragile ego could take the ridicule.
posted by arcticseal at 6:56 PM on July 19, 2010


Well I guessed he popped his cherry.

I don't think we know Hasai's gender.
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:59 PM on July 19, 2010


I kinda think we do.
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 PM on July 19, 2010


Your first post was not very good. I didn't feel the need to actually say this until you made another post, now deleted, on the same subject matter. These are not good MetaFilter posts. You should really lurk some more and soak up the site before posting again. Although I do think that you might not care because this is starting to look like performance art.
posted by grouse at 10:39 AM on July 20, 2010


the more obscure the better. and read crunchland's profile - especially the part on stuff that would work better on Reddit or Digg.
posted by infini at 10:54 AM on July 20, 2010


and . . . . . . he's gone. That didn't last long.
posted by yhbc at 12:32 PM on July 22, 2010


He was banned years ago for serially self-linking. See the bottom of crunchland's recent MeTa for cortex's revelation.
posted by carsonb at 12:33 PM on July 22, 2010


Link
posted by carsonb at 12:35 PM on July 22, 2010


See, that's what happens when we talk about SEO douchebag fuckos in more than one thread.
posted by yhbc at 12:39 PM on July 22, 2010


Just here to point out that I called this guy out as a shill in the other meta thread (on his "first" post).

I knew his faux naive bit was bullshit.
posted by fourcheesemac at 9:15 PM on July 22, 2010


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